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Clark Kent shuffled his papers into a starch manila envelope and stood swiftly, his mind already buzzing with plans for the evening. Or lack thereof. Being a hero meant that indulging in the typical after-work activities of his peers was a risky move. He couldn’t save the world if he was playing pool in a bar across town.
“Hey, smallville, you’ve been staring at the wall for five minutes. I thought I’d be able to keep your attention if my draft ideas were about your side hustle in spandex, but I guess not.” Oh. He forgot Lois was idly waiting for him to pack up, and was explaining her latest findings on the new Superman exhibition being planned for the Metropolis museum.
“Sorry, Lois. I’ve got a lot to do this weekend. Got lost in thought.” He chuckled.
“Uh huh.” Lois raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms with an indignant look. Clark shifted his gaze and started towards the elevator.
“No, really! My weekend is…very full. Lots of, um, heroing business and such. Bank robberies, aliens, the like.”
“I wonder how the aliens feel about simply being one of Superman’s sunday afternoon plans.” Lois responded with an amused smirk. Just as they both stepped out onto the bustling streets of Metropolis, Clark’s phone buzzed in his oversized blazer pocket. After a little fumbling, he shot Lois an apologizing look and answered.
“Bruce? What’s up?”
“Clark–what, I can’t just call to say hello?”
“Well, sure. Whatever favor you were about to ask for won’t get taken care of, though.” He was able to catch Bruce’s amused sigh from the other end of the line.
“You know me so well.” In his peripheral vision, Clark caught Lois lightly rolling her eyes. And he was supposed to be the one with the super-hearing.
“So what is it this time? A UFO? Sentient plant monster? Time traveller with a grudge against me?”
There was a tense pause. Clark could picture Bruce fiddling with a pen at his desk, like he always does.
“Much worse. My kids.”
“What?” Clark tried to keep the surprise out of his voice. He cleared his throat and adjusted his glasses, a million possibilities racing through his mind. “Is Dick hurt? Do you need me to track down Jason? God, did Damian break into the zoo again?”
“Clark, I won’t be needing Superman tonight, don’t worry. I just need my good friend Clark Kent to do me a favor. My sitter canceled last minute and I have an end-of-the-year funding event to attend. I would bring them with me, but I fear I would bore them to death.”
Clark, somehow, was even more taken aback.
“You need a…babysitter? Isn’t Dick an adult now? He surely can take care of himself.”
“Well, yes, he can take care of himself. It’s the other five I’m worried about.”
“I see. And you thought to call me to take care of this?”
“What, like you wouldn’t be up for it? You’ve travelled to other dimensions. I think four hours with my kids will be easy enough.” Clark knew Bruce’s kids. They were all well-intentioned enough, and good at their vigilante duties. Clark knew how to handle kids as well, it was part of the hero deal. How hard could it be?
“Alright, when would you like me to be there?”
“Does now work?” Bruce’s voice was like velvet through the phone. Clark could sense the Brucie Wayne charm slipping through his wording, and unfortunately it was working.
“I’ll see you in a bit then.” Clark was back at his apartment already and was changing into his more casual attire. This would be more entertaining than sitting around watching whatever reality TV he could find and waiting for someone who needed saving.
“You’re the best. I’ll give you the briefing when you get here.” His choice of words made Clark smile. It spoke to the odd mixture of civilian and heroic life that the Wayne family constantly tried to maintain. For this mission, he would have to be Clark Kent just as much as he was Superman.
--------------------
“Alright, so bedtime for the youngest is 8:30. They will try to convince you otherwise. Don’t let them. Steph has also stopped by for the night. Dinner has already been taken care of, but if they get a little hungry, Alfred will bring out the snacks. The older kids might want to spend more time by themselves, but Friday nights are game nights in the Wayne household. And, not under any circumstances, will they play monopoly. There is still monopoly money floating down from the rafters in the Batcave. Don’t ask me how it got there, I don’t know. Make sure to call me in case of emergencies. Any questions?”
Clark scratched the back of his head in thought. It seemed simple enough, but that’s what was worrying him.
“Is there anything I should be worried about?”
“Please, Clark, my kids are vigilantes, not monsters.” Bruce let his mouth slip into one of his signature smiles as he led them both into the main living room. “Everyone listen up, Clark is here. Be on your best behavior. No knives, no grappling hooks–Damian, put it down–and most importantly everyone gets to bed on time. I’ll be back at 10:30. I love you all, be good.” And just like that, Bruce stepped out of the room, and it had begun.
The kids all slowly turned to look at Clark. He suddenly felt very similar to a scrap of meat in a shark tank.
“So, I heard it’s game night! What kind of games do you have?” There was a short moment of silence. Even without his super-hearing, Clark could’ve heard a pin drop. Then suddenly, the smallest of the bunch stood up from his spot on the couch and marched up to the man, his hands crossed tightly over his chest. Even though the top of his black spikey hair only reached slightly above Clark’s waist, he somehow commanded all of his attention.
“Kent. I am aware of what my father has told you, but we do not need a babysitter. We have the upper hand. You are outnumbered and outmatched. We are watching from every angle. Make one wrong move and we will eliminate you as we have done the others.” He narrowed his eyes with the last phrase as his lip curled to make a devious scowl.
“Ooook, sorry about that supes–” In a split second, Dick was standing between them, his arms raised in defense. He tried reaching out a hand to guide Damian back to the couch, but it was swiftly slapped away. Dick didn’t even flinch. “We’re not trying to get rid of you. I appreciate you stopping over tonight. How does everyone feel about Mario Kart on the big screen in the basement?”
“Only if you want me to crush you at Moo Moo Meadows again.” Clark turned to see Duke leaning up against a wall, fiddling with an unsolved rubik's cube. He had a subtle smirk on his face.
“Duke, you’re a yoshi main. You are meta in more ways than one.” Tim casually stated from his spot on the couch between Cass and Steph, who were all watching something on his phone.
“So, Mario Kart it is?” Dick looked hopeful as he pointed vaguely in the direction of their at-home theatre.
“Boooooooo,” Clark’s gaze shifted to a figure sitting crossed-legged in a corner, eyes glued to a book. Ah. Jason.
“Oh, fuck off, Jason.” Tim lazily responded, not even looking up from his phone.
“Language, Timothy!” Dick hissed as he slapped his hands over Damian’s ears. Damian promptly grabbed his wrists in a tight hold and flung Dick onto the couch in one swift motion, flipping him onto his back as he landed with an ‘oomph’. Clark made a mental note to not get too close to this kid.
“I vote we watch High School Musical 2!” Steph interjected with a beaming smile shot in Clark’s direction, her hands clasping together in excitement.
“Only if you don’t sing along to every song.” Cass buried herself deeper into the cushions, a disgruntled look on her face.
“I think we should play poker.” Jason said, eyes still glued to Sense and Sensibility.
“We are not gambling. Let’s just pick something simple that all of us can play–”
“But simple is boring. I just set up an eight person Mario Kart mod that actually works–”
“No one cares about your video game modifications, Drake.”
“Can I just go up to my room?”
“We need to try and keep the guise of a functional family, remember?”
“Oh, sure, we look very functional right now–”
“Guys, Damian hasn’t even seen a single High School Musical movie. We have to educate him.”
“And how would that be educational? Enlighten me.”
“I’m going to enlighten that smirk off your face, kid.”
Clark’s mind was flooding. They were all bickering away, barely even listening to each other, and he worried interrupting would only make it worse. But something has to be done, they look like they’re three minutes away from brawling on the coffee table.
“Pardon the interruption, but I have just prepared a hot chocolate arrangement in the game room, per Master Bruce’s request.”
’Rao bless Alfred’, Clark thought to himself.
“Thank you Alfred. Let’s all head in that direction, and we’ll figure out something on the way.” Clark plastered on a confident smile and guided the kids down the hall. There was some grumbling and elbowing, but not even the wildest of kids would refuse Alfred’s hot chocolate.
“How do we feel about Clue? That should be everybody’s speed.” Clark sifted through their wall of games while the kids settled into their seats.
“A battle of wits,” Damian pondered between sips of his drink. “That would be entertaining.”
“As long as Clark doesn’t use his x-ray vision to see our cards,” Tim interjected. “No offense. We have a family history of cheating.”
“None taken. I’ll get everything set up. Who wants to be who?” With that, the night drifted into a slightly more controlled chaos. There weren't enough characters for Clark to play, which he was completely fine with. He spent the whole time moderating anyway. Turns out when you have a room full of young detectives, playing Clue is very high stakes.
“I’m going to make an accusation.” Stephanie placed her cards down with a look of triumph.
“But we’re only in round three! That shouldn’t even be possible!” Dick stammered, as the others made comments of agreement.
“Clark, you’re sure you didn’t see her looking at anyone’s cards?” Duke questioned as he slightly leaned away from Steph, whom he was sitting right next too.
“I didn’t catch anything.”
“I didn’t cheat, I simply have a very good hunch.” Steph added, leaning towards the center of the table eagerly.
“Hunches don’t get cases solved.” It was Tim with the retort this time.
“Ok, this is an educated guess.” Steph said with a brief roll of her eyes. “I say Mr. Green in the Billiard Room with the revolver.”
“As Mr. Green, I am highly offended that you would single me out like that.” Jason huffed. Clark could never tell when he was joking or not, and he never dared to laugh in case it wasn’t a joke.
“Get over yourself, Jason. It won’t even matter when I win.” Stephanie opened the small envelope, peaking at the cards.
“Yeah, right. There’s no way–”
“Aha! I was right! In each and every single one of your faces.” She leaped up from her spot, pumping her fists in the air. Everyone else groaned, and a few cards were thrown across the room. Clark did admit that he was impressed.
“Kent, you are sure that she didn’t cheat?” Damian spat, an accusatory finger pointed in the blonde’s direction. “This is ridiculous. I always win at Clue.” He made what could possibly be considered a childlike pout and sunk into his chair.
“Steph, I think you did a great job. It’s–” Clark checked his watch. The night was not going fast enough. “Only 7:15. We have time for another game or a short movie before some of you have to hit the hay.”
“Actually Clark, we have…” Dick trailed off as his eyes met with his siblings’. “This tradition whenever a babysitter is over on the weekends.”
“Ok, why am I getting nervous? What’s the catch?” Clark also looked around the room, which was now littered with knowing smiles and side-eyes.
“Ultimate hide and seek.” Cass leaned back in her chair, eyes boring through Clark. “Only thing off limits is the Batcave, because y’know, we normally have a normal babysitter. No powers either, for those that rule applies too.”
“You guys are no fun.” Duke added with a sigh.
“How did your previous sitters ever find you?” Clark wasn’t even sure he could find them himself, especially not without his powers.
“We made sure they were never ‘it’. But now that the playing field is even, well, you better start counting.” Duke smirked as he explained. Even if they weren’t biologically related, the Wayne family all seemed to don the telltale smirk. Jason stood up quickly and bolted for the door, the other kids scrambling after him. Clark probably should’ve protested, considering it wouldn’t be great to tell Bruce that he somehow managed to lose all of his kids in the mere span of hours, but it was too late now. He closed his eyes and waited, counting loudly as the kids scattered.
Just before he got to ten, the house went completely silent. It was so eerily still that he debated on casting out his hearing to make sure everyone was ok. All of a sudden, the mansion felt huge. Yes, it always felt big, but this was different. It was daunting. A wave of dread hit him as he realized he was in over his head.
“What was I thinking, letting a bunch of small vigilantes hide in a house the size of an island?” Clark shuffled through cabinets, checked under couches, and even looked inside of the washing machines. Room after room, he turned up with nothing. Everywhere was silent, everywhere felt empty. A strange sense of pride washed over him, as he knew this meant they were good at their jobs, but he knew that this might mean that this is the last time he will be allowed to watch the kids ever again.
Just as he was about to give up and start listening for heartbeats, he saw it. In the dining hall, clinging to the suspension chord holding the massive crystal chandelier in its place, was Dick Grayson. In his black clothes, he almost completely blended in. He stood perfectly still, his feet perched on the rim of the contraption. He was even holding his breath, eyes locked on the other figure in the room. Clark’s heart shot up into his throat.
“DICK, GET DOWN FROM THERE!” He shouted, just as Dick gracefully back-flipped and landed on a cushioned chair at the table.
“Woah, woah, woah, supes it’s ok! I do that all the time, I’ve never gotten hurt.”
“What do you mean all the time?! Does Bruce know you do that? Those are Swarovski crystals, and you–you’re breakable!” Clark gestured at Dick, who shrugged as if him snapping a bone wasn’t that big of a deal.
“I won’t tell him if you won’t tell him.”
“Just help me find the other kids. Are they in spots like this too?”
“You haven’t found them yet?” Dick shot Clark a concerned look.
“Nope. I swear I’ve checked half of the manor. It’s getting late, and I would really like to have Bruce come home to all of his kids.”
“Ah, don’t worry. They’ll turn up eventually when they get hungry enough. Jason, maybe not. He surprisingly holds the record. We once couldn’t find him for six days. We thought he was being held hostage, but he was actually hiding in the walls.”
Clark sighed and followed Dick. He definitely was in over his head. The next to be found was Cass, who was perched on top of some of the crown molding in the grand hall. Clark was yet again surprised at how well they blended in perfectly with their environments. Next was Tim, who had somehow managed to accidentally lock himself inside of Bruce’s safe. They only found him because his shoelace had gotten caught in the door and stuck out on their side. Tim made them swear never to bring it up again. Steph was under the seats of one of Bruce’s many cars in the garage, which was also locked. These kids really made the game high-stakes. Duke was outside in the landscaping shed underneath a carefully-made fort of mulch bags. He had no idea how Cass even had the idea to look under them–at first glance it looked like a regular pile of supplies. Second to last was Jason, who had somehow managed to carve a hole in one of the shrubberies outside and stake out in it. Clark made him swear to tell Alfred about that later, even if the hole wasn’t even visible to the average civilian eye. Last, but certainly not least, was Damian.
“Alright, I vote we split up. The kid is small, he can fit almost anywhere. He literally could be in the vents. Worst comes to worst, we use one of the dogs and we sniff him out.” Dick was pacing back and forth as they all sat in the main hall, poised and listening. It was endearing how serious they were about this. It almost looked like a mission debriefing.
“I’ll go with Cass and Jason to steak out the bottom two floors. You four can do the rest. He’s probably not in any of our rooms, but it also might not hurt to check. Everybody, roll out.” They all made their way in their separate directions, running up stairs and weaving through hallways. It really felt like a good-old-fashioned manhunt.
“Ok, we know he likes to hide in the greenhouse, which is on the first floor, which isn’t in our jurisdiction. Which leaves the library, the offices, supply closet four, and the game room if we’re basing our first guesses on past experience.” Tim declared, his eyes narrowed in thought.
“Maybe he’s in the safe,” Steph teased. Duke and Steph shared a knowing look. It seems like someone had broken their promise.
“Wha-Hey! Clark, did you tell them?” Tim’s face turned a little red, and he threw out his hands in defense.
“I swear it wasn’t me!” Clark couldn’t help but stifle a laugh, the dimples on his cheeks betraying him. Steph didn’t bother to cover her laugh as she made her way down the long hallway, Duke in tow.
As they entered the library, Tim made a swift hand motion, which Clark had come to understand as ‘silent’ in Batman signaling. They crept around the carpeted room, peeking behind shelves and quietly lifting up cushions. Tim even went as far as to climb the shelves and check the tops, much to Clark’s worry. With a shrug, Tim crept down and they all met in the middle of the large and dimly-lit room.
“I think we’ve done as much as we can,” Duke insisted, his voice hushed. “I could check to see if anything has happened here recently.”
“I thought you said no powers?” Clark whispered.
“This is Damian we’re talking about. The kid is too good at this game. It helps when you’re the smallest out of everyone.”
“He better not be crammed into the office filing cabinets again. He almost got stuck last time.” Tim replied, with a curt nod from Steph.
“Lets–” just as he was about to turn around, his view was quickly covered in darkness. Someone, or something, had their arms and legs wrapped tightly around him, clinging viciously to his back. A blanket had completely obscured his regular vision, and covered the better top half of him. It was thick and wooly, making his breath hot against his own face.
“I’ve got you know, Kent! You fool, you let down your defenses!” He let out a series of devilish giggles as he tried bringing down the comically larger man, resorting to pulling the blanket even further over him. Clark fumbled about, bumping into furniture, and letting out a stream of muffled exasperations. Even with the blanket covering most of his senses, he could still hear the shrill laughter of the other kids.
“Damian, get–mmmhhff!” Try as he might, the kid had nerves. A hand clamped over his mouth as he scrambled to pull him off of his back.
“Not on your life.” Damian shimmied up his back and sat firmly on his shoulders, hands grasping the blanket (an unfortunately hair) on the top of his head, now fully commandeering Clark’s large frame. They were still swinging around the library like mad, knocking over tables and tipping plants. The laughter only increased at what was surely a wild scene. In a heartbeat, Damian pulled Clark down to the ground, now with him in a perfect leglock. Clark laid defeated, limbs sprawled out and chest breathing heavy. He could hear soft footsteps on the carpet and a figure leaning over the two of them.
“Daim, let the poor man breathe,” said Steph between shallow gasps. When the blanket was reluctantly removed, Clark could see she was wiping her eyes and was clutching her stomach with laughter. It was admittedly very funny, even if it was embarrassing for the man of steel to be defeated in such a manor.
“Guys what’s going–oh my god.” Dick sauntered in, immediately eyeing up the scene. A hand flew to his mouth to stifle a laugh. “You-You need a hand there Clark?” His lips formed a thin, tight line as he bent down to his side.
“I’m ok, really. Just a little surprised. You can really cling onto someone, buddy.” As he sat up he instinctively patted Damian on the back. To his surprise, the kid let him, and simply maintained his pleased smirk.
“It is what I was trained to do, Kent.” He said with a satisfied huff.
“Well, I’ll be sure to let your dad know that you bested me. That is, if you get to bed in the next fifteen minutes.” Damian grumbled but stood up swiftly.
“Dick, I require assistance in the bathroom. My stepstool is still…broken.” He marched out of the room with his head held high. Dick chuckled and followed the small figure out into the hallway.
“I’ll be just a minute. Feel free to get Cass and Jason to help you clean this mess up.”
Damian was successfully tucked in, even if he did try to sneak out of his room a few times. Clark noticed that the bed wasn’t really his, more like the home for his many stuffed animals which Damian happened to sleep on. When he wasn’t attaching you, he was rather adorable. Clark would never say that to his face, of course. He has a feeling Damian wouldn’t take it as a compliment. After Clark was able to hear the steady breathing of Damian’s sleep, he guided the rest of the kids into the basement living room. They all settled into the couch and flipped on the TV.
“Clark, what movie do you want to watch?” Steph asked, her head tilted to the side as she flipped through streaming services.
“You’re asking me? Well, geez, I guess I’m not that big of a movie guy. What do you all want to watch?”
“Clark, have you ever seen the original 1966 Batman movie?” Jason probed, arms crossed and sitting by his lonesome on a loveseat.
“No, no, we’re not doing this again. I refuse.” Dick waved his hands in front of himself in dismissal.
“I actually agree with Jason for once. Clark has got to see this.” Duke chimed in, tossing popcorn into his mouth.
“No, he doesn’t not.”
“Oh, come on, Richard. You lost at hide and seek which makes your opinion invalid for the next 24 hours.” Cass stated, as if it was some sort of undeniable cosmic rule.
“There was a Batman movie made in 1966?” Clark mused, genuine curiosity lacing his voice.
“Yes. It’s quite possibly the worst adaptation of anything ever.” Dick huffed. The kids all shared mischievous smiles and Steph began clicking away. “Stephanie, don’t you dare.”
“No, no, I’m curious. I’ve had my fair share of terrible adaptations, I feel like this is karma for something.” Clark moved forward with intent in his seat. He really was curious. Batman was very particular about his image, but he also knew that there were some things you couldn’t get wiped off the face of the internet even with the best layers. It would be good collateral.
“But the costume designs. The dialogue. Oh, god, the dance off with cleopatra. Come on guys, you really want to watch that again?” Dick insisted, trying to snatch the remote right from Stephanie’s hands. He wasn’t having any luck.
“Come on, man, the dance off with Cleopatra is the best part.” Duke joked, getting a chuckle out of the others.
“Do we really have to?” Dick shot Clark a pleading look.
“As the adult in charge, it is my executive decision. I say we watch it.”
“I will be remembering this, Mr. Kent.” Dick gave Clark the nastiest side eye he could muster, which only amused him all the more.
Dick was not kidding. Boy, was it terrible. Clark thought it could possibly be interesting to kids, but even that was a stretch. Knowing Bruce and Dick personally made it all the more amusing. The special effects were downright laughable, the dialogue would’ve put Bruce in a coma, and the entire plot was really nonexistent. It was a thoroughly enjoyable experience, and it was definitely something he was going to hold over Bruce’s head. By the end, they were all laughing to their heart's content, except for Dick, who looked like he wanted to camouflage in perfectly with the black leather of the couch.
“Can we do something else please?” Dick huffed, but Clark swore out of the corner of his eye he saw a slight smirk. Even Dick had to have laughed at the corniness at one point.
“We have a little bit of time left. I’m alright with you all doing your own things for a bit, but I will be keeping an eye on you. Just so you know.” Jason looked eager at that idea, but Stephanie spoke up.
“I have a better idea.”
“Uh oh.”
“I say we play truth or dare.” Everyone groaned, but Stephanie’s smile didn’t waver.
“Steph, I might have to draw the line at that one. I’m an adult, and I do not need to learn embarrassing things about you all.” Clark stated. He knew from the few drinking games he’s played that this can get out of hand very easily. Especially when all of your coworkers are drunk and you are genetically predisposed to being immune to the effects of alcohol.
“Pleeease,” She begged, “We will keep the questions and answers PG. I swear.” She placed her hand on her heart dramatically. “Plus, leverage, I won at clue. I should be able to pick what game we play next.”
“Yep, I’m out of here.” Jason stood up with a sigh and started to walk towards the door, only for Dick to grab his wrist.
“Oh, hell no. If I’m doing this then you’re doing this.” Dick was met with a murderous glare. “If you leave I’m telling Alfred who broke the jade pot in the foyer.” Jason’s facial expression went from murderous to homicidal as he plopped back onto the couch cushions.
“Come on, we’re not that scary. Except for Damian, which you have seen.” Duke reassured with a lilt of humor. “Plus, I’m actually down to play. I’m curious what crazy dares we can make you do.”
“I am actually a little curious about you too, Clark. I’m in if he’s playing.” Cass muttered, propping her elbows on her knees in concentration. Clark swallowed nervously.
“Ok, as long as it will keep you out of trouble, and it will stay PG.” Clark put a major emphasis on the last part. He really didn’t want to do this, but with how the night was going, he just wanted to keep an eye on all of them at once.
“Perfect! I’ll go first.” Stephanie stated, clasping her hands together in excitement. “Dick. Truth or dare.”
“Dare.”
“I dare you to go into the kitchen and rearrange all of the spices.” Dick let out a gasp.
“Alfred always keeps them in alphabetical order. That’s pure evil, Steph.”
“Fine, fine. I dare you to take the cardboard cutout of Bruce and put it in the passenger seat of the Batmoblie.”
“Now THAT I will do.” Dick bolted out of the room with a devious grin.
“You have a cardboard cutout of Bruce?” Clark asked Steph, hesitant.
“Oh yeah. It’s life-sized too, he absolutely hates it. He thinks we got rid of it, but we actually have six more in my bathroom closet. He would never think to go in there, it’s perfect.” Duke and Cass laughed, and even Jason huffed with amusement. In a minute, Dick was back in the room, showing everyone the picture he took on his phone. It was funny, and harmless, so Clark let it slide.
“Alright, I’m picking Jason.” Dick turned in his seat to face the other boy. “Truth or dare?”
“God, here we go.” He rubbed his temples. “Truth.”
“Alright. Did you or did you not start a Wonder Woman fan account on twitter.” Jason squinted, his hands on his knees and if bracing for something.
“...Yes. And I’m proud of it.” He stated contently. The rest chuckled.
“No way, what’s the handle?” Cass already had her phone out.
“Not your turn, Cass. You can ask me that later, but that is not information I am handing out for free right now.”
“Fine. It is your turn, though, Jason.”
“Ok, hmmm.” He leaned back, eyes looking off in the distance, thoughts swimming behind them. “Clark. Truth or dare.” The room went silent and they sat, waiting for a response. Dick looked like he was going to burst, a smile ghosting over his face. Duke paused his popcorn-eating, his eyes bouncing back and forth between Clark and Jason. Clark weighed his options. He could choose dare, which would probably end with him doing something embarrassing in which Bruce would find out, or he could answer a simple question. Clark Kent was a pretty boring guy, besides the whole Superman thing, what did he have to lose?
“Truth.”
Jason’s face shifted into something malicious, as if Clark had fallen right into his trap.
“Are you seeing Bruce?”
Clarks jaw dropped as all of the blood rushed to his head. If he wasn’t so flustered, he probably would’ve heard Steph gasp and Cass almost spit out her water. Duke made a disgusted face, as he was now covered in water and spit. Dick was on the edge of his seat, his eyes fully focused on what Clark was about to say next.
“I’m not–n, no, we’re not seeing–I mean, no, it’s not like that.” Clark stammered and he waved his hands in front of himself, like he was physically trying to clear the air.
“Do you like him? Romantically, that is?”
“Jason!” Spat Steph. As much as she was trying to defuse the situation, everyone could tell there was a faint look of curiosity on her face as well. Clark’s face somehow turned a deeper shade of pink, which he didn’t think was possible.
“Why would you think–I mean no! I wouldn’t like Batman. I don’t like Batman, I mean–”
“So that’s a yes.” Jason’s face twisted into a deeper smile, lines creasing around a set of bared teeth.
“I swear, I do not like Bruce!”
“Aw, that’s a shame. Am I really just a business partner to you, Clark?”
The blood in Clark’s veins froze and he turned his head slowly to the man standing suavely in the doorframe. Of course Bruce showed up now. His eyes shone in the light as a flirtatious smile caught Clark’s gaze. He wanted to melt into a puddle. Or possibly fly into the sun and never be seen again. Rewinding time was always an option.
“Bruce, you’re back early!” He shot up out of his seat and adjusted his glasses, a nervous habit he really has tried to break. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean I didn’t like you. I love you! No, that’s not what I meant–Rao, this is not coming out right.” He buried his head in his hands, trying his best to cover his burning complexion.
“Bruce, can Clark stop over again? He’s actually fun. No offense to Natasha.” Duke added, peeking over the back of the couch. The others joined in, turning to face the door.
“I wouldn’t want to impose–”
“It’s really fine, Bruce. They’re great kids. Damian is asleep upstairs, nothing is broken, and everyone is in one piece. Also, Alfred’s hot chocolate will never cease to amaze me.” Clark really did mean everything he said, but he was also desperate for a conversation change.
“I’m glad everything went well. You all can head up to your rooms, we’ve got a busy day tomorrow.” The four teens shuffled out of the room, and Clark swore he heard a few giggles. They were good kids, but they sure knew how to pick him apart.
“You really have a good set of kids, Bruce. Even if they were a handful, it was nice to spend an evening feeling somewhat normal. Plus, now you owe me a favor, B.” Clark teased. They started heading for the door, the moon lighting up the staircase.
“A favor, huh? How about dinner? I know this nice Lebanese place that doesn’t close for another two hours.” Clark’s blood froze again, but this time it was more hope than it was embarrassment. Did he really mean it? Was Bruce Wayne actually asking him out right now?
“Dinner sounds nice, Bruce. If you aren’t too full from those odd heure d'oeuvres they serve at your fancy business events.” Clark tried to keep the nerves out of his voice. They’d gotten dinner before, obviously, but this felt different.
“Oh, believe me, I’m starving. I’ll drive.” Bruce chuckled and led them out the back door. In all his years of being Superman, Clark Kent would remember this night as one of his greatest challenges, and greatest successes, of his career.