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It started with a surprise bottle of champagne, discovered in a still-unpacked moving box haphazardly thrown in with random kitchen utensils, oven mitts, placemats, and coasters. It was a miracle it didn’t get smashed during the move.
Jake brandished it like a pilfered relic, shaking it over his head in triumph. His smile was all teeth when he suggested they officially christen the new apartment.
Someone ordered more food and drinks. Quick hands cleared the kitchen table, shoving items messily onto the counter. Sunghoon caught a mug before it plummeted to its demise, shoving Jake's shoulders as they raced to stack the boxes in the empty bedrooms. The wooden floors squeaked in protest as furniture still encased in protective plastic was roughly pushed to the walls. Heeseung yelped in relief when he found his DJing equipment, grabbing Jay by his ratty tank top to help him set up a makeshift booth. Finally, after claiming a living room corner and plugging up all the nearby sockets, a steady bass line started reverberating against the bare, eggshell-white walls.
Their casual Thursday night hang had somehow evolved into an impromptu fete. Word had spread, and Heeseung and Jake’s still disorganized three-bedroom apartment quickly filled up with friends and strangers alike.
Sunoo cherished nights like these: spontaneous celebrations where he could recharge his social battery, his body aching from too much hugging and dancing and laughing, sweat dripping off his skin when it got just a bit too stuffy, even with all the fans plugged in and whirring away. The aircon needed to have its filter replaced, so they just threw all the windows open and hoped for the best.
One moment, he was in the kitchen, shaking with laughter into Jungwon's shoulder as his friend mixed together the unholiest concoction of sugar and alcohol. The next moment, he was on a sofa, plastic sticking to the back of his damp legs, gossiping with the neighbors from upstairs about the other residents in the building. He would glance around occasionally to check if their one missing friend had finally arrived. He glanced at his phone. No update yet. He eagerly nodded along when he was pulled back into the conversation, a dazzling smile on his face.
Eventually, he wound up on the balcony, perched on a hastily built stool and soaking in the sparse tendrils of cool air slipping across his skin. He watched his friends inside playing drinking games, smiling to himself around the lip of his beer bottle. They didn't get to see each other as often ever since most of them graduated and had taken on more adult responsibilities. Riki had a final semester left, but everyone else had been busy with work.
When it got to a point where they hadn't seen each other for over a month, Jungwon crammed everyone into his studio apartment and made them sign a contract that they would all see each other at least once every two weeks. Since then, they'd mostly kept that promise, usually in the form of movie nights at Jay's or Sunghoon's, since they lived the closest to a train stop. Although Heeseung and Jake's place could probably be the new gathering spot since they had the biggest home now.
Sunoo was relieved that Jungwon had taken such drastic measures because he wasn’t sure he could ever convince the others to stay. He was grateful for Jungwon’s stubbornness and persuasiveness; his friend was always the best at keeping everyone together. And Sunoo needed all of them — they were his oasis when it felt like growing up meant feeling overwhelmed by the mundanity of daily life. All the sparkling dreams he had treasured in his youth had dulled in time, but at least, when he was with his friends, he could still find the flecks of glitter hidden in adulthood.
As he watched people dance in the living room and weave in and out of the apartment, the balcony door slid open and a familiar body joined him, taking the empty stool and scooching closer so that their legs were touching. Jungwon balanced a bowl of potato chips on his knee, knocking their legs together so that Sunoo would snack with him. As they munched away, Jungwon talked rapidly about work, a new intern who was driving him up the wall, his boss who needed to die. He rarely complained, so when he did, Sunoo listened intently, throwing in reassurances that Jungwon was never wrong and that his co-workers were indeed idiots.
His friend’s voice faded into the background when he spotted Jake inside, stumbling into Heeseung by their bedroom door. Heeseung caught him handily, steadying him and fixing his hair. They leaned in close, Heeseung bending down so that his boyfriend could cup his hands and whisper something into his ear. They shared the same laugh nowadays, their eyes crumpling into the same amused curves. Then, Heeseung pulled Jake in by his chin and kissed him so tenderly that Sunoo had to look away, ears turning red.
His eyes drifted back to Jungwon again, who was now planning his boss’s murder in great detail. Sunoo sighed inwardly so as not to alarm his friend.
He was happy for Jake and Heeseung, truly. But they also made him anxious, like he'd forgotten to turn off the stove or left his hair dryer plugged in by the sink. Obviously, he didn't want to think about them possibly breaking up, but he couldn't help himself — he had first-hand experience with the disaster that was dating within a friend group.
Sure, Sunoo loved romance stories and religiously watched dramas, but he knew reality wasn't as rosy. When friends dated, they broke up in the worse ways, cleaving friendships and disrupting all sense of calm and security. Friends who dated weren't guaranteed a long-lasting relationship — sometimes, the shift from platonic to romantic was so uneven, so destabilizing, that it could only end in destruction.
Maybe Heeseung and Jake were different. They made it work so far. When he first met them, he thought they were childhood friends, but they had just met each other a year prior, while Heeseung was Jake’s tour guide at their alma mater. Somehow, their transition from friends to lovers had gone off without a hitch. They fitted each other effortlessly, always matching each other’s moods and completing thoughts. Their fights usually lasted until the next meal time, and then, they were back to normal.
It also helped that they had never closed off their world to the rest of their friends — third-wheeling wasn't a thing with them. Heeseung and Jake were a packaged deal, but their love had always been big enough for everyone to comfortably fit in. So, when they finally made it official a month before Heeseung’s graduation, everyone sighed in relief and nothing really changed.
Still, Sunoo worried, but he kept those thoughts to himself. He knew his other friends didn't share the same fears. Everyone had been rightfully supportive. Jungwon was certain now that a proposal was imminent, while Sunghoon thought that they would adopt a puppy first. Jay would make retching sounds, and Riki would just smile with a quick glance at Sunoo.
Jungwon suddenly waved his hand in Sunoo’s face. He shook his head and blinked prettily at Jungwon, hoping he would repeat whatever he had asked.
His friend just rolled his eyes and pinched Sunoo’s cheek. “I said, ‘What about you, hyung? Seeing anyone lately?’ You usually have something to share.”
He pursed his lips, trying to come up with anything. Jungwon was normally right, but this time, he really didn't have a crush to blather on about. In fact, he hadn't been on a date in over two months at this point. Normally, that would concern him, but as he contemplated his recent drought, he realized it didn't bother him as much. There were much more interesting things happening in his life now anyways.
A knowing grin pulled across Jungwon's face. "I see that you and Riki-ya have been hanging out together an awful lot lately. Just the two of you.”
Sunoo’s lips slipped into a pout. He didn't like what his friend was implying. Riki was still blessed with a freer schedule than the rest of them as a college student. He didn't have to worry about securing post-grad employment: His mentor had guaranteed him a spot in his prestigious dance troupe. Plus, the photography studio Sunoo worked out of happened to be a stop from campus, so it made sense for them to grab coffee together in the mornings and maybe even lunch, especially when the weather was nice. Riki would sometimes come to the studio to study, and then they would walk back together to Sunoo's place.
There was that time they went to a three-day music festival together, but Sunoo only had one extra ticket gifted to him from a client, and no one else was available, and Riki really liked the headlining act. So what if they got caught in the rain on the way home and Riki threw his oversized jacket, the one that smells like campfire and pine, across Sunoo's shoulders, and his white T-shirt was soaked, and they sought shelter at a bus stop, and droplets fell down his chin while reflecting the warm lighting, and Sunoo briefly thought they would kiss? They were friends, family even, and any random scenarios Sunoo's mind generated when he was tired and hungry were inconsequential.
“Our schedules just happen to line up the best,” Sunoo decided diplomatically. “Come on, you and Riki do one-on-one stuff all the time.”
Jungwon shrugged. “Yeah, but not the cute little dates you guys go on. Don’t you even have an overnight bag at his place? I feel like I saw it the other day in his closet.”
Sunoo rolled his eyes so excessively, causing Jungwon to sputter out a guffaw. He then grabbed Jungwon's shoulders and shook him insistently, trying to hide his ever-reddening face. Jungwon just let out a maniacal laugh.
“Your eyes have deceived you!" Sunoo cried. "You’re making a big deal out of nothing! Besides, he’s been dating some model.”
Jungwon easily shrugged off Sunoo’s light grip and leveled an incredulous look at him. “You and I both know that he stopped seeing her months ago.”
And Sunoo did know that because after New Year's Day, Riki showed up at his doorstep with a grocery bag full of hotpot ingredients and a change of clothes. They ended up spending the weekend together, watching reality TV and baking cupcakes. But that was just supporting a friend through a breakup. If he had felt flutters in his stomach when Riki leaned on his shoulder and fell asleep, he would never admit it. He had never told Jungwon about that weekend because of this very reaction.
“We. Are. Just. Friends.” Sunoo said with punctuated jabs to Jungwon’s bicep. His smug face was seriously starting to piss Sunoo off, so he downed the rest of his beer.
Jungwon kept his tone nonchalant, but Sunoo swore he could see little devil horns poking out of his messy, blond hair. “Sure, sure. So, how come he’s so late tonight?”
“He said he had to meet a professor, but he’s finishing up soon. Wait, no, he…texted that! In the group chat!”
Jungwon’s grin only grew more devious as he pulled out his phone and gleefully pointed out that the last message in the group chat was from Jake asking someone to bring soda for tonight. Sunoo scrambled for his phone and saw that Riki had messaged him directly, paired with a cute sticker. His ears burned as he shoved at Jungwon again.
“Face it. You and Riki are gonna hop aboard the Friends-To-Lovers Express soon. Just admit it.”
Before Sunoo could put him in a headlock, a slightly tipsy Sunghoon made his way over and smothered the both of them against his chest, cooing about how much he’d missed his precious kittens. Sunoo struggled against his stupidly strong hold, but Jungwon managed to break away, practically hissing as Sunghoon chased after him.
Relieved to finally have the balcony to himself again, Sunoo tried to come up with a better defense against accusations that he and Riki were anything but friends. Riki and Jake were practically joined at the hip, and he stayed over at Jay's a lot for the free food. If anything, Sunoo was sure he was low on the list of people Riki would contact in an emergency.
When they were still in school together, they rarely hung out without their other friends. Everyone else had known Riki before his semester abroad from shared courses and clubs. Sunoo would hear stories about how great Riki was, and when they finally met at the library during finals week once he returned, all the stories matched up. Riki was as nice and genuine and interesting as everyone said he was. And nothing more happened.
Well, that was until maybe a year ago, when Sunoo and Riki had arrived at the designated meet-up restaurant before everyone else, and Sunoo was feeling nervous because he wasn’t used to being with Riki alone and thought things would be awkward. But then Riki said what Sunoo was thinking out loud and whatever discomfort could’ve existed between them had melted away.
They weren't the closest, Sunoo thought, but if he was ever bored or just needed company to complete some uninspiring tasks, he knew he could count on Riki to raise his spirits. He liked their little arguments, their shared silences. He always felt a bit braver to try something new with Riki around. He was reliable and thoughtful, always making sure that Sunoo wasn't too cold or uncomfortable wherever they were. He was surprisingly earnest when he wanted to be, and though his favorite pastime was teasing Sunoo, he would always listen whenever they started talking about serious things like missing their families or anxieties for the future.
But Sunoo was sure that meant they had a standard friendship. Of course, over time, they had grown closer, but so had everyone else. Whatever he had with Riki wasn't unique to them. And that was fine. He wasn't expecting anything else to happen between them. Even if, sometimes, it felt as if they gravitated toward each other for no reason, always catching each other's gaze from across a room. Riki would do that little lopsided smile that Sunoo assured himself didn't make his heart rattle in his chest.
Nothing could ever happen between them. Heeseung and Jake were the designated couple of the group. A second couple would just throw the balance. And it was annoying.
Sunoo smacked his cheeks three times and shook his head vigorously. Friends-to-lovers was fine for other people, but it wasn't in the cards for him. He had tried to make it work, once or twice, in his younger years, when friendship and romance blurred more easily. But both times had failed miserably, and Sunoo had learned from his mistakes. He wouldn't ruin an amazing friendship this time because he couldn’t read the signs and got too delusional. He knew better.
He looked up when he heard a sudden spike in volume by the front door. A crowd had gathered at the entrance, welcoming a new arrival. He knew who it was before he could see him, judging by Jake’s uncontrollable laughter and Jungwon's excited hopping.
Riki stepped through the crowd with a full case of beer and a plastic bag full of more snacks, trying to shrug off the guys clinging onto his shoulders. His signature grin made an appearance, that awkward but endlessly endearing curve to his perpetually bitten lips. It was what Sunoo loved — er, liked a lot about Riki, that he was always happy to see his friends and that underneath his deceptively sharp features, he held his glowing heart out in the open, malleable and warm.
In contrast, even though Sunoo seemed like he was the friendlier, more approachable one, he wielded his smile like a weapon and guarded his inner world with fortified walls, ready to patch any openings at the first sign of a breach. He preferred it this way — it was best to keep most people at arm’s length so that no one got hurt, or more importantly, he didn't have to piece himself back together when he had given too much away.
Sunoo stayed outside, observing his friends. They were teasing Riki about wearing business casual — probably from meeting with his professor — and they tried to muss up his slicked-back hair. The glasses he wore to seem more studious slipped down his nose. The six of them looked like brothers, naturally sticking to each other.
Riki scanned the room until he finally glanced outside and spotted Sunoo, a softer smile stretching across his mouth. Sunoo hoped the darkness of the balcony hid the redness blooming along his cheeks. He offered a small wave and Riki grinned back, grabbing something out of the bag, shaking off his friends, and taking wide strides to get to Sunoo.
“Ta-da.”
Once he was in front of Sunoo, he crowded his space to present a cup of mint chocolate ice cream with a flourish.
Over Riki's shoulders, Sunoo spotted their friends making suggestive gestures at them: Jungwon made an ugly kissy face and Sunghoon turned around to make it look like he was making out with himself.
Sunoo covertly flipped them off as he smiled sweetly at Riki, taking the ice cream with his free hand.
“I guess this makes up for you being almost an hour late. Next time’s fine is a three-course dinner.”
Riki just laughed and rested his arms on the railing, effectively caging Sunoo in. He was always a bit cavalier about personal space, but Sunoo started to wonder if maybe Riki had gotten an inch or two closer around him. There was an empty stool right next to him — why couldn’t he just sit down there instead of crowding Sunoo in?
Sunoo gulped and re-focused on eating his ice cream.
“What’d I miss?”
“Hmm…not much, I guess. Jake hyung and Heeseung hyung have some pretty chill neighbors. There’s an elderly couple who lives down the hall and is already treating Jake hyung like a grandson. The two girls who live across from them were shocked to learn about the new gay couple in their building but have now come around to either wanting to be best friends or trying to make a foursome happen — very confusing energy, I’ll have to introduce you.”
Riki chuckled and held his mouth open once Sunoo finished his own bite. Sunoo fed him a spoonful, and Riki made a face as he swallowed, pretending to gag. Sunoo bared his teeth at him in jest and pushed at Riki's chest. He just grinned, and then he leaned in closer, curiously sniffing Sunoo’s hair.
“New shampoo?”
“You know, you’re a real sicko for even noticing that.”
“I just didn’t take you for an amber scent kind of guy. I like it.”
Sunoo shrugged. “Just wanted to try something new.”
Riki took a dramatic, deeper whiff. “It suits you.”
Sunoo couldn't take it anymore, so when a burst of noise erupted inside with the arrival of a new guest, he forcibly turned Riki around and ushered him toward the door. Riki laughed again — why was laughing so much? — and pulled Sunoo along with him.
Their friends cheered as Sunoo rejoined the group. People were popping in and out to greet Heeseung and Jake and gift them food or household items. One neighbor dropped off a fruit tray before he left for his overnight shift. That prompted a grape-tossing challenge, and whoever caught the least amount of grapes in their mouth had to down an entire glass of Jungwon's evil drink concoction.
But before Sunoo could join in, the girls from across the hall whisked him away to the bathroom because one of them was a makeup artist who was suddenly struck with inspiration. At least that gave him a break from Riki, who had been sticking close to him and kept holding on to a belt loop or secretly sniffing his hair. And Sunoo was also trying to covertly stare at Riki's profile — the glasses really suited him — but then their eyes would meet and Sunoo had to pretend he was just closely inspecting his beer bottle.
Mina and Seoyun sat him down on the edge of the bathtub and ordered him to stay put. They told him that the apartment's previous tenant was a middle-aged couple who got divorced after the husband was caught cheating. They complimented his smooth skin and gently brushed out his hair. They asked for permission to record his transformation, and Sunoo was just on the right side of buzzed to grant it to them. He didn't even mind when they gathered part of his hair into a small ponytail and slid in flowery hair clips.
When they finished giving him a smoky-eye look, they took tequila shots. Mina was very pleased with her work and told Sunoo to come to her salon on his next free day. He hiccuped and sealed the deal with a pinky promise.
Somehow, the conversation drifted, as it often did, to romance and dating. Mina complained about a guy who she was on and off with, and Seoyun had a couple of options to consider, including this girl in her pottery class she really liked. When they finished their stories, they turned to Sunoo and looked at him expectantly.
Sunoo downed another shot and then shrugged. He told them he'd been single for a while and that he wasn't actively dating.
Mina gasped. "No way! Then, you and that tall guy...?"
He looked at her confused. "Who?"
Seoyun jabbed his right shoulder. "Don't be so coy. That guy who was all over you earlier, the giant one."
Sunoo pouted at his reflection for a moment. Then, he clamped a hand over his mouth. "Riki?! Oh, no, no, we're just friends."
Seoyun snorted. "Does he know that?"
Mina grabbed his cheeks and reapplied a fresh coat of gloss. "'Just friends'? I feel like he's been stuck to you since he first got here. You guys look so cute together."
"Majorly hot."
"Yeah, like imagine if he pinned you to a wall."
Seoyun and Sunoo sighed at the same time. He shot her a glare and all she could do was grin back at him and pinch his cheek. He wished he didn't have such an active imagination — it was too easy for him to make up a scene of Riki caging him against a wall, towering over him, kissing him senseless. His pout deepened.
"There's nothing going on between us. Besides, I'm not even his type. Probably."
Seoyun cupped his face and forced him to look at his own reflection. The makeup really accentuated his eyes, which he'd always thought of as his best feature. He looked alluring, mysterious, someone who could attract anyone with just a glance. If only he knew how to.
"Babes, you're literally everyone's type. Don't even start that. And is he even your type? That's what matters anyway."
And maybe it was the alcohol sloshing around in his head or maybe it was the fact that these girls were so nice and barely knew him that he decided to pull out a photo of his ex and show them. Mina took the phone and gaped in disbelief.
"He's the last guy I was seeing."
The girls looked at him and then the phone and then back again. Seoyun finally burst out laughing.
"Oppa, he looks like a discount version of your friend! What! Why're you even bothering with a carbon copy when the real one is right in front of you?"
Sunoo whined, clutching onto the sleeve of Seoyun's blouse. "You don't understand! I've dated friends before and it went really badly! Like, I've broken up two friend groups because of my past relationships. I can't go through that again. I can't lose my friends now — they're everything to me."
The girls exchanged looks over Sunoo's head. Then, they pulled him into a hug, cradling his head between their chests.
Mina kissed his hair. "Aw, baby, you're not gonna lose them. We only just met you guys, but you all seem really close. I think, even if things didn't work out between you and Riki-ssi, you would all still be friends. I have a gut feeling."
Seoyun nodded rapidly. "Mina unnie has a good sense for these things. Come on, let's stop moping around and go get you your man."
Sunoo sniffled. "But, what if he's never been interested in me? What if, all this time, I was just making things up and it turns out, he really does just think of me as a friend?"
Mina brushed a stray strand out of his eyes. "Oh, sweet pea, all you need to do is ask him. You're worrying yourself sick without even talking to him. Come on, Yunie and I can help you suss things out."
They freshened up his makeup once more — it had smudged in the corners where tears had gathered. As they dabbed at his face and reapplied eye shadow, there were several firm knocks on the bathroom door. At first, they ignored it, hoping the random person would find another bathroom to use. But then, the knocking persisted, followed by an uncertain, "Sunoo hyung? You in there?" in a recognizable deep tone.
Sunoo's eyes widened in panic. "That's him!"
Seoyun's whispered excitedly. "See! He went looking for you! He's gonna confess to you tonight."
"What do I do?"
"Stop flailing! You'll mess up the liner!"
"Regardless of what he does, what do you want? And be honest with yourself. You're making up rules that no one's asked you to follow."
Sunoo caught his reflection again. He looked so beautiful yet so apprehensive. He was worrying about things that hadn't happened yet, and it had gotten to the point where he was probably sabotaging himself. If he didn't want things to change, he knew he could easily establish a clear boundary between him and Riki. He could put a stop to the instinctive touching, the lack of personal space, the flirting disguised as teasing. He could end it if that was what he wanted.
But what he really wanted was to have all of Riki's attention, all the time, always. He was in love with his best friend, and he hoped his friend could feel the same way.
The girls didn't push him any further. As Mina fixed his hair, Seoyun went to the door and opened it with a flourish. Riki stepped in and his eyes immediately landed on Sunoo. Thankfully, the glasses had disappeared from his face, likely stolen by Jake or Jungwon.
He looked relieved, a small smile dancing at the corner of his lips. "There you are. Everything good?"
Seoyun grinned at Riki. "Sorry we kidnapped him for a bit! We were just so inspired — unnie wanted to test out the eyeliner she bought earlier. What do you think?"
It was so silly, so high school — they were all adults and yet here they were, still acting bashful, Sunoo laughed to himself. He expected Riki to say something rude or look embarrassed, but instead, his gaze was steady on Sunoo's face, his eyes methodically moving from his eyes, down to his nose, and lingering on his lips before sliding back up.
Riki smiled, easy, unperturbed. "Should I say the clean version, or are we all OK with the explicit one?"
Sunoo knew his face was cherry-red. He grabbed the girls' hands and pulled them along to the living room, brushing past Riki before he could complete his review. He absolutely did not want to hear whatever Riki had to say. He just needed to dance and shake his body loose and just forget everything that had to do with Nishimura Riki.
It felt so good to throw his body to the fast-paced beat booming through the poor speakers Heeseung and Jay had set up on the media console. They couldn't handle the bass so well, so the music was slightly crunchy, garbled, but it didn't matter because Sunoo could still throw his head back and shake his hips to the rhythm. The girls took turns dancing up against him, and even Sunoo threw it back against Seoyun, who gladly took hold of his waist, grinding into him. He laughed as she smacked his ass.
Two sinewy arms suddenly pulled him up, encircling his hips so that he was chest to chest with a familiar warmth.
He gulped as he looked up and met Riki's amused if slightly puzzled expression.
"Hey."
A guitar solo ripped through the dance floor, blocking his hearing. Sunoo shook his head.
That only prompted Riki to lean down and put his lips right on the shell of Sunoo's right ear. "I said, 'Hey,' hyung. Have you been avoiding me all night?"
Sunoo pushed down a shiver fighting to thrill up his spine. He squirmed in Riki's hold but did nothing to get out of it.
"I haven't," he mumbled to Riki's chest.
Riki snorted. "Then how come we've barely hung out since I got here?"
Sunoo flapped his mouth open, trying to come up with an excuse. Suddenly, Jay flopped into them, worming his way between and snaking his arms around both their necks so he could pull them down and kiss them sloppily on their cheeks.
"My babies! I've missed you! Aw, look at the two of you, so cute, so precious together! Don't leave me behind though!"
Sunoo laughed in relief, hugging his adorable hyung fondly. Even Riki ruffled his hair and failed to keep a silly grin off his face. The three of them tried to dance together, but it turned out to be more swaying than anything, with Jay's moves uncoordinated and a bit haphazard as he kept stepping on Riki's feet. Before he could take another swig of his drink, Sunoo took it out of his hands and swiftly handed it to Riki. He disappeared to dump it and find water for Jay.
Sunoo led them to the couch, where Jay tumbled down and held out his arms so Sunoo could collapse into him. When he did, Jay hugged him tightly and buried his nose into Sunoo's hair.
"My sweetie Sunoo-py! I haven't seen you in forever! Are things going OK? You look hot — I love this makeup."
He tried to kiss Sunoo's cheek, but Sunoo just patted his chest and pushed him back firmly against the couch. Jay settled for running a hand through Sunoo's hair, playing with the ponytail between his fingers.
As he examined the fine strands of Sunoo's hair, Jay mumbled, "So, did it finally happen? Did Riki-ya confess?"
For a moment, the loud music filled all his senses. He stared at Jay incredulously, his mind racing with a dozen equations trying to fit Jay's errant comment into something that made sense. Was Riki supposed to confess to a crime? Or maybe he meant that Riki would finally confess to stealing Sunoo's favorite baseball cap? Or perhaps Riki would confess about liking mint choco this whole time?
He sat up slowly, disentangling Jay's hand from his head. He threw a sharpened gaze at the older man. "Um...hyung? What are you talking about?"
Jay hiccuped and tried to pull Sunoo back down, but Sunoo dodged his grabby hands. Jay settled for tugging at Sunoo's hand and lacing their fingers together.
"Our baby Riki has always had a soft spot for you," he hiccuped again, "You know, when I first talked about you while he was still abroad, he asked me to send a pic, and I did, and then he wouldn't stop asking a million and one questions about you," another hiccup, "and I could tell he liked you from then on. And then, when he finally met you IRL, oh brother, he genuinely could not stop talking about you. 'What's Sunoo hyung's schedule? What does he like to eat? Where does he volunteer?' Just on and on, I had to tell him to give it a rest. You were seeing what's-his-face at the time, so I told him to chill. But still, he kept liking you after all these years! What a guy, right?"
Sunoo's heartbeat roared in his ears. His mouth had gone dry, and it felt like his brain had short-circuited. Jay's eyes were starting to droop, and so he slumped against the couch, curling into Sunoo's side.
When he finally rebooted himself, Sunoo croaked, "But...wouldn't it be bad? If Riki and I got together?"
Jay peered up at him, brows furrowed in confusion. "Why would it be bad? I think it'd be amazing if two more of my best friends fell in love with each other."
"But what if we broke up? What if we ruined the friend group because of that?"
"There's no way that would happen. We're built differently, that just wouldn't affect us."
Jay swiped a thumb across Sunoo's left cheek. Without realizing it, Sunoo had started crying. He sniffled and tried to roughly wipe it away, but Jay caught his hand and just cradled the side of his face as if to catch his tears.
"How can you be so sure?" Sunoo's breathing had gone ragged. "How can you even say that?"
And with the gentlest smile, Jay replied, "I guess I can't be sure. But I know us, and I believe in us, and I just think, even if you two didn't work out as romantic partners, you'd still be best friends. I don't know. I just have a good feeling. Besides, we're in this shit together for life."
As some wistful R&B song played in the background, Sunoo's tears kept flowing, but he could feel his heart grow lighter with Jay's reassurance. He should've talked to Jay about this from the start. Of course he knew exactly what to say to help Sunoo soothe his anxious mind. Sometimes, the only thing he could do was embrace the uncertainty. But it wasn't something he had to face alone.
At some point, Jay had pulled off his tank top and was trying to offer it to Sunoo to blow his nose in. Sunoo vehemently refused, even as Jay tried to smother his face in it. Thankfully, before Jay could clamber onto Sunoo's lap, two blurs tackled him to the other end of the couch. Sunghoon and Jungwon had pinned him down, while Riki helped Sunoo up to his feet, looking alarmed when he found Sunoo crying.
"Are you OK? What happened?" Riki pulled a small scarf out of his pocket and dabbed at Sunoo's face.
He shook his head. "I-I'm fine. Sorry, Jay hyung and I were just talking."
While he was pinned between Sunghoon and Jungwon, Jay sat up again and yelled over the music. "Riki-ya! Take Sunoo-py back to your place! He's not feeling well."
Sunoo frowned. "I'm OK, really-"
"He really needs to rest! You two should get going!"
"No, really, it's fine-"
Riki wrapped a hand around Sunoo's wrist. "It's OK, hyung. If you're feeling tired, we can leave."
Sunoo looked back at Jay, who was physically butting heads with Sunghoon. Jungwon returned his reluctant grimace with an enthusiastic grin and two thumbs up. He sighed and followed Riki out the door.
At least Riki was staying nearby, at an uncle's fully furnished apartment while he finished his last semester. It was a few blocks away, and the walk was along a well-lit path that cut through a small park lined with maple trees and a closed coffee kiosk that Sunoo had ordered from a few times. Only one or two bars were still open, and there were barely any people coming out of them. A few stray cats crossed their paths, circling Riki's legs before disappearing into the hedges.
The sounds of the city seemed to fade until the loudest noises between them was Riki's soft humming and the jangling of his keys. As they walked up the steps to his apartment building, they would catch the faint snores of residents or a TV left on through the open windows. Sunoo had mostly calmed down and had managed to wipe the rest of his tears away with the crumpled tissue Riki had handed him.
When he looked up, he found Riki a few steps ahead of him. The warm glow of the streetlights enveloped his distinct frame. Sunoo stopped walking and watched his back grow more distant. He clenched his fist, digging his nails into his palm as he fought back tears at the thought of Riki slipping out of his reach. He wasn't sure what was wrong with him, but more tears managed to break through his defenses. He roughly rubbed at his eyes, pressing the heels of his palms into his sockets as if he could physically push his tears back into his ducts.
Gentle fingers encased his hands and pried them away. Riki was standing in front of him again, worry plain on his face. He took that small scarf out again from his pocket and carefully wiped up Sunoo's tears.
"Hey, what's wrong? Are you hurt?"
Riki, who used to be so uncomfortable with public displays of emotions, had grown accustomed to Sunoo's sudden mood changes. He once told Sunoo that he couldn't stand to see him cry because Sunoo's tears were unbearably heartbreaking, crystalized sadness that would never evaporate.
Sunoo shook his head, tugging his lips into a halfhearted smile. "Really, I'm fine! It's nothing."
Riki looked at him incredulously. He tried not to pout as he cupped Sunoo's face. "Oh, so it's something you can talk to Jay hyung about but not me."
Sunoo quickly waved his arms. "No! No. Of course not, it's just...I..."
He bit his lip. Maybe it was the remnants of alcohol coursing through his veins. Maybe it was the feeling of Riki walking away from him. Maybe it was years of repressed feelings threatening to spill to the surface. Sunoo had lost control of his thoughts, or maybe he was overthinking. Whatever it was, he would explode if he didn't finally speak his mind.
“He told me.”
“Told you what?”
“That...you've liked me...for a while now."
A streetlight buzzed above them. A breeze floated past, carrying a troupe of petals and dead leaves down the steps, delicate pattering on the concrete. Riki's hands fell to his sides. Then, he groaned loudly and covered his face. The tips of his ears were red.
"Ah. Fuck." He took a deep breath. "I'm gonna kill him. That wasn't for him to say."
Sunoo felt his heart start to inflate in his chest. His voice was shaky. "So...it's true?"
Riki laughed something small, his eyes glued to his feet. "Of course it's true, hyung. I feel like I've been so obvious this whole time. I thought maybe that's why you were avoiding me tonight. Sorry, I just...I couldn't help it."
Sunoo imagined that this was what it felt like to be a tiny, nearly-doused out flame suddenly reignited and burning bright. The stress from work, the state of the world, the arguments with his parents, his annoyance with his landlord, the bills that were piling up, all the pebbles of discomfort that made up adulthood had tumbled away, bested by the gust of a fulfilling love come to fruition. He had wished that someone could see him and hold space for him, for all his idiosyncrasies. He had almost given up, convinced that maybe he was too much, too difficult to ever be loved the way he needed. But then, it wasn't true. It had never been true. Because Riki was always there. For him.
Riki had sunk down a few steps so that Sunoo was now a bit taller than him. He kept his back turned, and his shoulders had started to slump. He had taken the silence as rejection.
"Ah, so you...don't feel the same way."
That pulled Sunoo out of his head. He grabbed Riki's shoulders and turned him around, hoping he didn't look too off-putting with his tear-stained cheeks and red eyes.
"Huh? Seriously? I thought I was the super-obvious one! I've been crushing on you, hard, for at least a year now!"
The furrow carved into Riki's brows gradually smoothed out. But the pink that had lightly dusted his cheeks began to deepen. "Really?"
Sunoo sighed, fighting against his own blushing. "Of course. I've been crying because..of you."
Riki looked confused again. "Why would I make you sad? We both like each other. Isn't that a good thing?"
Sunoo made a frustrated noise, stomping his feet lightly. "It's scary! Aren't you scared? It'll change everything! Sure, maybe things will work out for Heeseung hyung and Jake hyung, but we're different. We're not like them. And if things go wrong..."
Before he could disintegrate into his fear, he felt a warm hand cradle the back of his head, anchoring him back to the present. His eyes finally slid back to meet Riki's. For once, they were on the same level; Sunoo didn't have to strain his neck to look up at his friend. His eyes were so dark and they reflected the light so beautifully, an inkwell glittering in candlelight. Sunoo closed his eyes and nuzzled into Riki's touch.
His voice treaded carefully. "Sunoo hyung, I'll always want you in my life. No matter what happens. There's no one I'd rather share all my happiness and all my hardships with. Whatever happens, I know I'll always want you there with me. I've felt this way for years, and I know I'll feel this way for decades more."
Sunoo slowly reopened his eyes and Riki was right there, the brightest, surest presence in his life. And so, he cupped his face as if he was holding a star, leaning in to finally kiss him.
Riki made a surprised sound in the back of his throat. Then, his hands fell to Sunoo's waist, and he hugged him closer as their lips moved with more certainty, mouth falling open as Sunoo tenderly sucked on his tongue and swallowed his contented sighs. As their kissing deepened, Sunoo relished in the ripple of Riki's jaw muscles underneath his fingertips, the smell of vibrant cologne clouding his mind, and his racing heartbeat rumbling in his ears. All he could think about was how much closer he needed to be with Riki, to infuse him into every fiber of his being. And when he felt Riki's low groan of satisfaction, he felt a sense of desperation widen in the pit of his stomach.
Sunoo scraped his nails down the side of Riki's neck, fingers tracing along his ears. He then grabbed Riki by his shirt collar and pulled him closer, trying to melt their bodies together. Riki's hand grasped Sunoo’s jaw to steady their kissing, thumb rubbing soothing lines into Sunoo’s skin so he could slow his frantic lips and let Riki settle the pace into something calmer. Sunoo let the heat spread from his face down to the rest of his body, his fingers grasping onto Riki's shirt as he licked the roof of his mouth.
Riki laughed, trying to take a moment, but Sunoo was persistent.
"We should probably—"
A kiss to the corner of his mouth.
"—continue this—"
A bite to his bottom lip.
"—at my place. Hyung, come on. We can keep going when we—"
Sunoo grabbed his hand and yanked him up the steps as Riki kept laughing and kissing the side of his face. They took the stairs two at a time until finally, they reached Riki's apartment building. They scrambled up more steps until they were in front of Riki's door, and he was fumbling with the keys while Sunoo untucked his shirt and dragged his overheated fingers up Riki's torso and kissed the back of his neck.
Once they had passed the threshold, Riki pushed Sunoo against the closed door, pinning his arms to his sides and grinding their hips together. Sunoo moaned into his mouth, flexing his fingers against his jeans as he ached to touch Riki again. Riki just smirked and kept grinding into Sunoo as they kissed sloppily, spit escaping past his chin and dribbling onto his T-shirt.
"I don't think," another kiss, tongues sliding against each other, "you can put it in tonight, though. It's been a while, and I wasn't really expecting anything, so I'm not prepared."
Riki nodded breathlessly. "Yeah, no, that's fine, there's always next time. I can have you in more ways than that, yeah?"
Sunoo finally pulled his hands free and quickly unbuttoned Riki's shirt. "Of course, fuck, yes please."
And as his shirt pooled to the floor, Sunoo gradually lowered to his knees, kissing along Riki's chest until he reached his waistband and swiftly unbuckled his trousers and tugged them down. Riki grinned, ruffling Sunoo's hair and trailing his fingers down the side of his face. Sunoo looked up through his lashes, his vision slightly blurred by his smudged makeup, as he mouthed along the clothed outline of his erection and pressed firm hands around the darkening wet spot of his tip.
Sunoo didn't have a problem with giving head, and he enjoyed the weight of a pulsing dick on his tongue, the heady smell, the fullness in his mouth. He had never really choked on a dick before nor did he often have a sore jaw after. With Riki, however, he found himself stretched out in ways he hadn't experienced before. Even as he tested the waters with swallowing just the tip, his lips strained as he tried to accommodate the size, and it had him feeling a bit dizzy.
He could tell Riki was trying his best not to just jam the rest of his length down Sunoo's throat. He was slumped against the door, breathing hard as he tightened his fingers in Sunoo's hair, peering down occasionally to watch Sunoo's lips meet where his fingers were twisting around the base. When Sunoo's gaze flicked upwards, Riki hissed and swiped at the tears beading in the corners of his eyes.
"Your makeup's all messy," Riki managed to punch out.
Sunoo hummed in response and flexed his throat. Riki just groaned and threw his head back, an elegant line forming from the tip of his chin down the long column of his neck.
Finally, as the ache yielded into pleasure, and he was palming at his own erection, Sunoo squeezed the back of Riki's leg, nodding up at him. Riki picked up the signal and clutched the back of Sunoo's head as he slammed into him, roughly sliding his dick deeper into Sunoo's open and willing mouth.
And just when Sunoo thought he would catch Riki's come on his tongue, he was abruptly pushed off and pulled back up to his feet so that Riki could kiss him, all teeth and spit. Riki had a vise-like grip on his own dick, shivering slightly as he kissed down Sunoo's neck and bit into his shoulder.
"Fuck, hyung, you almost got me. Can I use your thighs instead?"
Sunoo nodded wordlessly and jostled out of his jeans. Riki shifted him to face the door, bending him over and hiking his T-shirt up, making Sunoo grit the fabric in his mouth. He was thankful that he had worked up a sweat — the slide of Riki's hardened cock between his thighs, catching just beneath his balls, had him rolling his eyes back and groaning into his shirt. It was sloppy, inelegant, and imprecise, but bursts of pleasure erupted all over Sunoo's body. Riki had a bruising grip around his waist, pulling him flush until he was back to chest, turning his head so they could slip their mouths together. Riki kept pushing Sunoo's shirt up to access his chest and pinch his nipples as he quickened his thrusts.
"—ki, 'm so close," Sunoo murmured against his lips.
"Me too. You're so fucking sexy, hyung. Sunoo-ya. Sunoo. Mine."
Riki wrapped a hand around Sunoo's dick and flicked his wrist. Sunoo melted against Riki and released into his hand, shuddering against his bare chest. He brought his come-covered fingers up to Sunoo's mouth and pushed them in, and Sunoo happily lapped up his spend, humming into his palm when he felt Riki coming between his thighs.
After a moment, they wilted against the door, ragged breathing syncing as Riki barely held them up. When the buzzing in his ears had quieted, Sunoo slowly shifted around so that he was facing Riki, looping his arms around his neck and kissing him sweetly on the cheek. Riki nuzzled his nose to the side of his face and returned a kiss to his lips, small pecks that gradually brought him back to Earth.
"Hey."
Riki chuckled, biting his cheek playfully. "Hey yourself."
"Bed?"
"How 'bout a shower first?" Riki swiped some come off Sunoo's thigh and wiggled it in his face.
He scrunched his nose in distaste and shoved at Riki's shoulder. "Fine. But I can't walk there myself."
Riki easily picked him up, wrapping Sunoo's legs around his torso and letting the older man cling onto his shoulders. As he carried Sunoo to the bathroom, he tickled the back of his knees until Sunoo was crying for mercy and thrashing in his hold. He shrieked with laughter as Riki kissed his neck and kicked the door close.
^^^^^^^
THE NEXT DAY
Heeseung and Jake's apartment was totally trashed, and their friends weren't faring any better. They arrived with coffee and breakfast pastries, only to find their friends in various states of disrepair. Sunoo helped scrape Jungwon off the floor — someone had outlined his body with empty beer and soju bottles. He deposited the lanky man on the couch next to Jay, who was still shirtless and groaning, rubbing a hand up and down his chest that had suspicious markings like someone had tried to draw on him but had smudged it off with sweat. Sunghoon was sitting at the kitchen table glaring at a mug of bone broth. Heeseung was slumped on the counter as Jake lethargically filled the dishwasher.
Riki unfolded a trash bag and held it open as he and Sunoo went around the room collecting empty containers. They were bright-eyed and well dressed, with Sunoo wearing an unfamiliar outfit that Jungwon recognized as Riki's clothes once he could properly open his eyes and squint at them.
"What's with you two?" Jungwon grumbled, glaring at them from the couch as if he was staring at the sun.
With a hand to the small of his back, Riki maneuvered around Sunoo to reach behind the media console and pick up some trash there. Sunoo held the bag for him in turn, not looking away from their task. "Hmm? What do you mean?"
Jay abruptly sat up, jostling Jungwon down to the cushions. "A-ha! Did you finally do it? Are you two official now?"
Riki and Sunoo exchanged looks. Riki smiled imperceptibly and Sunoo's ears went red. Still, they just shrugged and kept on cleaning.
Jake interrupted them, pulling them into his sides and clapping them heartily on their backs. "Finally! Now we can go on double dates together."
Riki and Sunoo politely freed themselves from Jake's grasp and moved to the kitchen. Jake just stood there, grin splitting his face in half.
Sunghoon slammed his fist on the table. "Hold on, what about us, the single ones? You're leaving us out now?"
Jay cleared his throat. "Jungwon-ah, I have a confession to make."
Jungwon rolled his eyes. "What, that you and Sunghoonie hyung have been not so subtly involving us all in your weird mating ritual?"
Jay floundered, his mouth wordlessly flapping in protest. Sunghoon swiftly moved to the couch, plopping himself in the middle and grabbing both his friends' hands. "OK, so what if the three of us—"
In unison, Jay and Jungwon yelled, "No! No! Absolutely not!"
Instead of cleaning up, the seven of them ended up bickering about which throuple should emerge from the group. Someone ordered fried chicken, another started setting up a game of Jenga to decide the final throuple combination. Sunoo couldn't stop laughing, inching closer to Riki's side and linking their hands together behind their backs.