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Tyler escapes Dema alone. Barely.
He knows the path to Trench like the back of his hand, and manages to catch sight of the torches surrounding the camp before his vision goes dark.
He doesn’t remember waking up. But God, he remembers Josh’s voice. How could he forget it? He’s somewhere between consciousnesses. Not quite awake but not passed out fully.
“Tyler,” Josh says, breathless, stumbling as his knees hit the ground. He sounds like he’s stuck in a bubble. “Shit. Tyler. Oh my God.”
What to do with him, huh? Sounds pretty bad.
Bruises, cuts, scratches from wildlife and lingering tree branches alike adorn Tyler’s skin. He’s incredibly frail. Skinnier than any of them, and they’ve been living off of half the rations they’re supposed to be on.
He’s got dirt and grass stains all over his clothes. They’re torn in several places. He barely notices any of it. He’s so tired.
Josh slides his arms underneath him, picks him up, and it’s just so painfully easy to carry him that he finds himself running back to camp.
“Shit,” Josh repeats again under his breath. His legs ache and he’s panting from the strain of running with a body in his arms but the adrenaline makes it all too easy.
He’s hurrying into his tent back at camp, trying his best to slow down. He needs to walk. Needs to walk out of the line of sight of the Banditos because this is the last thing they need to see right now. Not when morale is already at an all time low.
Tyler stirs at the movement, or rather the lack thereof. Groaning as he lifts his head to look up. His eyes are unfocused and confused before he seems to fully realize what’s going on. “Josh,” he mutters, voice dry from misuse.
“Hey,” Josh says with an anxious laugh, trying to steady his breathing as he slows to a jog. “Hey man.” He feels a lump form in his throat as he hears Tyler’s voice for the first time in forever. And it has to be in a situation like this? Just his fucking luck.
Josh finally makes it to their tent. Their tent. Not just his anymore. He’s never been so happy to share again.
“I made it?” Tyler says hoarsely, still looking shocked, like he can’t believe he actually did it.
“You made it. You’re here. Home,” Josh confirms, laying him down on his cot. It’s bigger than most-he tied two together to make a large bed. It’s no bigger than a Queen, but Tyler looks tiny in the middle of it.
“God,“ Josh starts, shaking his head. Trying to keep the tears at bay. “Tyler…how the hell did you get here?”
Tyler winces as his body touches the bed, the slightest bit of pressure sending pain up his spine. He licks his lips before replying coyly,
“…walked.”
Josh let out a scoff. Typical fucking sass. “You look like shit,” he says, rising to grab a med kit.
“You look like you haven’t slept in a month,” Tyler retorts weakly.
“Well I haven’t.” Josh kneels beside him again, pulling out a roll of gauze and rubbing alcohol. They’re running dangerously low of both in camp, but Josh has always kept a separate stockpile for himself just for moments like this.
He starts looking Tyler over. There’s no way his clothes can be saved. There’s dried and fresh blood stains littering the fabric. His body is covered in dirt and cuts, the dark circles under his eyes really make him look like a living corpse. He’s…different. But somehow still the same. The glint in his eye, the weak smile curling his lips up.
He’s still Josh’s Tyler.
“Tyler,” Josh mumbles, swallowing thickly. “I wish you’d waited.”
“Couldn’t,” Tyler says. “Not when I knew you were here.”
Josh flips open a pocket knife. He feels his vision blur. That’s the worst thing Tyler’s ever said, he thinks. He clears his throat.
“I know how much you’ll miss these, but I think it’s time to retire them,” he says with an anxious laugh. Trying to ignore it. Trying to pass by the elephant in the room with jokes. He cuts away at Tyler’s clothes, which isn’t a hard feat to accomplish. They practically fall off of him, leaving him in just his boxers. Josh pulls a thin sheet over him for modesty and begins to clean his wounds. He can see the way Tyler wants to curl in on himself, wants to hide and cover all of the ugly.
He’s holding back. He shivers at the cold air hitting his bare skin, and he instinctively scrunches in on himself under the sheet.
Josh’s fingers hesitate over the dirty bandages around Tyler’s wrists. He stares at them for way too long, feels his heartbeat start to pick up again.
“I, um…didn’t know you were doing that again,” he says, desperately trying to keep his voice steady. He holds Tyler’s arm close even when he tries to jerk away defensively.
“Just-let me clean them,”Josh offers, pulling his arm back towards him gently.
“Josh-“ Tyler starts.
“I just want to change the bandages. That’s all,” Josh says simply. Nothing else. No questions. “I’m not going to say anything else.”
Tyler stares at him for a moment, then relaxes. His jaw clenches with apprehension though. Like a cornered animal. Like a wounded beast afraid of care. His teeth pull at his bottom lip nervously.
But Josh is nothing if not a man who keeps his promises. He wordlessly unwraps the gauze, sticky with old blood. The smell of iron hits the air and Tyler looks away, as if he’s ashamed of his own actions.
“Infected,” Josh says, almost to himself. He reaches for the bottle of rubbing alcohol and dampens a piece of gauze with it. “It’s gonna hurt. I’m sorry.”
Tyler sucks in a breath as Josh wipes the infection off. Yellow pus, peeling scabs. They weep fresh red blood as a welcoming gift to Josh. Clean, straight lines across his wrists. Dug into his perfect, pale skin.
“I don’t want to kill myself,” Tyler says suddenly, “just so you know.”
Josh blinks a few times before looking up. “Okay,” he says.
“It’s just so that I know I’m real,” Tyler continues, swallowing thickly. He watches Josh’s fingers wrap around a pair of tweezers, watches him pluck tiny pieces of glass and dirt from his cuts. “So that I know I’m not being used as a vessel. That I’m in control.”
Josh runs his thumb over a pink, newly formed scar on Tyler’s forearm after tying off the first bandage. “I understand,” he replies. There’s a beat of silence. “You don’t have to do that here.”
Tyler studies him. “Okay,” he says quietly.
He sits for a moment, letting Josh re-bandage his other wrist. “Don’t tell anyone?” He asks meekly. “I don’t really-want people to know.”
Josh shakes his head. “Not my business to tell.”
Tyler nods. “Right.” He takes a breath. “Right.”
Josh stands. “I’m…gonna go get you some clothes,” he says. “You should try to sleep if you can.”
Tyler fists his hands into the sheets as if they’re the only thing keeping him here.
Josh comes back with familiar garb. Tyler’s old yellow hoodie. His black skinny jeans. His combat boots.
“Thought you’d want these,” he says, setting them down. “You don’t have to change right now if you don’t want.” He stands awkwardly, like he doesn’t know if he should stay or go. It IS their tent, but he still feels like a fucking stranger.
Tyler runs his bruised fingers over the fabric of the hoodie. He takes it and pulls it over his bare chest. Smells like smoke.
Josh eyes him for a minute. “I can go, if you want-“
“No,” Tyler cuts him off quickly, giving his head a determined shake. He shifts in the cot. This was their bed. Always theirs. “Stay.”
Josh looks over at him, trying to gauge what’s happening. “Tyler-“
“Please,” Tyler adds, with a pleading look in his eyes.
Josh lets the silence fall again before nodding absentmindedly. “Okay,” he says quietly, toeing his boots off before sitting cross-legged at the end of the cot. “Okay.”
Tyler seems to relax the second Josh’s weight dips the cot down. His shoulders drop, and suddenly he realizes how tense he really was. He sits in the silence for a few moments, before mumbling something in a voice that’s so quiet Josh can barely hear it.
“I missed you.”
Josh’s eyes follow up Tyler’s legs to his tired face. His eyebrows furrow. “I know,” he says softly. He can still see black on Tyler’s neck. “And I…” he takes a deep breath. “You should sleep.”
There’s a beat of silence. Josh can hear the dinner crowd outside chattering amongst themselves.
“Are you hungry?”
Tyler shakes his head. He knows it’s a fucking lie. He looks like a skeleton. But he doesn’t want to push.
“Okay,” he nods, “maybe just focus on sleep. I have some water just in case-“ he starts to rise from the cot.
Tyler’s eyes flutter shut for a moment before they fly back open, and he looks over at Josh with a worried expression on his face. He shoots forward, grabbing at his arm. “Don’t leave,” he says cautiously, eyes wide. He winces at his own quick movements. Josh knows his body is screaming at him to rest right now.
So Josh shakes his head. “Not leaving,” he replies, halfway off the cot. Tyler’s expression does him no good, so he gives up and climbs farther up the bed with a grunt until Tyler’s bony frame is enveloped in his. “Not leaving,” he repeats, arms tentatively curling around Tyler.
Tyler practically fucking melts, shivering in the embrace. “I’m sorry. I missed you so much. I missed this so much,” he whispers, his voice cracking. “I’m sorry. I know I should’ve waited.” He just crumbles. Tucking himself into Josh’s chest, clutching at him like a lifeline.
Josh feels his heart ache. He looks down, petting Tyler’s hair. “Close your eyes,” he murmurs gently.
“I wanna talk,” he says hoarsely, “we need to talk.” He’s clearly struggling to keep his eyes open, but it almost seems like he’s afraid to go to sleep and find out this is all a dream.
“We can talk tomorrow,” Josh says. “You need to rest, Tyler.”
“Promise me.” He mutters, eyebrows knit together.
“Promise,” Josh says immediately. He leans down so their foreheads touch. He’d make a million fucking promises for this man if it meant he wouldn’t have to see him go through any of this again. “Sleep,” he whispers.
Tyler trails his shaking fingers down Josh’s jaw, barely awake.
“…love you, Josh. I never stopped.” He says it in a fading, emotional voice before his eyes close. He finally looks at peace when he gives up and stops fighting.
Josh feels his mouth go dry and his vision blurs. Tyler’s asleep, and his jaw tightens.
He doesn’t sleep, and instead has waking nightmares of Tyler’s solo journey to Trench.