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In the slightly quieter beer garden of an obnoxiously loud viking-themed pub, Greg sat nursing the last dregs of a vodka Red Bull and eyeing off his sometime drinking companion thoughtfully. Alex was a couple drinks deeper, but only in the way that he’d needed to disappear for a piss far more often than usual. They so rarely got to catch up outside of Taskmaster days, and the early overtures of friendship between them were so alcohol soaked, they’d both sworn off getting completely lashed with each other on these rare and special occasions. What a waste it would be, Greg thought, to not remember the stupid things that came out of Alex’s mouth whenever he nervously tried to fill their awkward little silences.
Those were much fewer and far between now, but Greg had learned to enjoy them regardless. Every now and then, if he looked at Alex the right way, the awkward tension could tip over into something more delicious. Something to savour. If he let it hang just long enough, refusing to be baited by any of Alex’s desperately floated topics, he could strategically bring up something that Alex wouldn’t usually indulge in answering. Like a drowning man, he would grasp at that conversational lifeline desperately, and end up revealing something entirely unexpected. It tickled Greg to be one of the only people Alex couldn’t out-awkward. Greg Davies was Alex Horne kryptonite, it seemed.
It was how he’d first found out that Alex’s lovely wife hadn’t minded in the slightest about a very much off-screen snog between him and Greg on one of those far less sober outings. Or that she’d been at Alex to try other things with Greg, if he was amenable. Nothing had come of that particular confession, not least because Alex steadfastly stopped getting drunk with Greg after that, and Greg happily chalked the whole thing up to a little mid-life experiment for them both that didn’t need to be repeated. It’d be silly to let something so basic as a snog ruin a perfectly good friendship and working relationship.
As the current silence lingered on between the two, Greg fished around in his pocket for his vape, then promptly remembered he’d agreed not to bring it out for the night, finding only a lonely pound coin in there instead. He spun it on the table a few times, watching Alex carefully as he scanned the room rather desperately, looking for a new topic. Now was the perfect time to strike, and the coin triggered some long forgotten conversation that piqued Greg’s interest. He held it aloft, aligned it with Alex’s face just so, his vision creating a new coin-headed amalgamation in a palm tree patterned shirt.
“Can you really?”
“I’m sorry, what’s happening?” Alex asked, slightly bewildered, but willing to latch onto the new topic as expected.
“You should know, you brought it up…years ago now,” Greg murmured, beginning to poorly flip the coin along his knuckles.
“Don’t think so.”
“There’s no way it’d fit,” Greg said, holding the coin side on, squinting at Alex's face it as he mimed popping it in.
“Oh. That.”
“Yes that. Did you try it with your friends when you were a kid or something?”
Alex nodded in reply. “It was everyone’s favourite party trick…for a while people used to call me Slots,” he recalled with a sheepish grin, showing off his gap-toothed smile.
“Little idiot,” Greg said fondly. “Frankly it’s amazing you didn’t choke and die… I can’t believe how little self-preservation you had back then.”
“Still rather lacking if you listen to Rach on the matter,” Alex huffed out in a laugh. “She still hasn’t forgiven me for the 'bin incident' and that whole face smashing thing,” he sighed, gesturing at the well-hidden silvery scarred spot on his brow.
“Yeah and she’s right not to,” Greg scowled down at him. Alex just shrugged. It was well-trodden ground between them, and while Greg laughed about it publicly now, he’d damn near lost his mind with worry at the time.
“Want me to show you?” Alex held his hand out for the coin, and Greg almost gave it to him before thinking better of it and yanking his hand back.
“Are you insane? Thing’s probably filthy.”
“Oh. I don’t mind.”
“Well I do,” Greg hissed, playing up his disgust. “We’ll just have to go back to mine and you can show me once I’ve cleaned it,” he offered instead, like that was a completely normal solution to this self-made problem.
Alex hopped up, pleased as punch to have a new task to drive their time together. He really was awfully predictable, Greg thought as he watched Alex settle their bill and then almost lope back home to Greg’s flat like an excited puppy.
As soon as they got back to the flat, Greg put the kettle on immediately, while Alex sat primly on the couch, nervously fiddling with a throw cushion.
“Don’t just sit around, go get your spare toothbrush - I want to scrub this thing really well.” Greg called over to him, barely holding back a knowing laugh as Alex bounded off to the bathroom without hesitation to find it.
Of course Alex didn’t even question why it had to be his, instead of any number of fresh toothbrushes Greg had stashed away for unexpected visitors. He fetched it obediently and hung about watching as Greg soaped the coin up in plenty of detergent, scrubbed it, then finally rinsed it well in the freshly boiled water. He had no idea if that was sterile-sterile, but it’d do for the man who’d been ready to chuck it in his mouth regardless. The oddball was bouncing on his heels watching the whole process like he was itching to take notes on his iPad.
Greg had stopped asking ages ago whether Alex liked being ordered around on his own show. It was painfully apparent once you spent any extended time with the man that he was always just aching to be bullied. Greg figured it was probably a weird boarding school survival mechanism, but he’d not managed to confirm it. Maybe a topic for their next little outing.
He picked the hot clean coin up with a pair of tongs and chucked it in a bowl to cool off as they retired back to the couches, Alex helpfully taking it upon himself to brew and bring over a fresh mug of tea and coffee for them.
“Now what?” Alex asked, looking at the coin in its bowl, eyes wide.
“Wait for it to not be the temperature of the sun, probably.”
They sat for a minute, sipping their respective drinks in companionable quiet. Alex barely took his eyes off the prize the whole time.
Finally, after a bit of poking and prodding, Greg cleared the coin for its journey into Alex’s maw. He handed Alex the coin and fished his phone out. “I want to get this on record,” he explained, snorting as Alex shot him a suspicious look. “Just private use, don’t you worry.” He smiled at the thought of sending it to Alex on a random day in the future, purely for the joy of reminding him of the embarrassing sight. The thought pleased him in a way he didn't care to examine too closely.
“Hmm. That makes it sound much worse, thank you.” A second glance at Alex made Greg wonder if he didn’t perhaps look more…anticipatory than worried about it. “So, how do you want me?” Alex dead-panned, sending Greg into a fit of giggles. He mostly recovered, then motioned between his knees at the floor, pushing the coffee table back carefully so Alex could shuffle in close.
“Ah, wait on, I do fancy myself a gentleman in these matters,” Greg managed to get out between stifled laughs. He shoved a plush cushion between his feet, which Alex gratefully knelt on. Grabbing the now cool coin, Alex showed it off for the camera like a magician, turning it this way and that, making all the appropriate silly noises. He grinned down the lens, then opened his mouth wide to give a good view of his gap teeth. Just as he was about to dramatically show how the coin could slot between them, Greg reached out and grasped Alex’s wrist.
“I want to do it.”
“R-really?” Alex laughed, his eyes flicking nervously between Greg’s and the camera. “Your fingers are huge, Greg.”
“You’ll just have to keep your mouth open properly. I’d hate to accidentally drop it in.”
“Oh. Um. Alright?” Alex dithered, but shuffled a little closer to make it easier for Greg to access his mouth. His hands went to rest up on Greg’s spread thighs instead of his own for balance. “God, uh, is that okay?”
“More than.”
“Right. Uh. Do you want to…”
“Open wide, Little Alex Horne.” To his credit, Alex did just that, without hesitation.
Greg was incredibly careful, steady with both the coin and his camera, making sure he framed the embarrassing scene just so. His large thumb and forefinger dwarfed the coin, which he carefully moved into Alex’s open and waiting mouth.
Very, very slowly he slotted it between Alex’s front teeth, laughing softly as he moved it in and out in an unnecessarily painstaking manner. Alex’s hot breath panted against his fingers and palm, and drool began to pool slightly in his mouth. Greg let his other fingers gently brush against Alex’s bottom lip and tongue as he continued the slow, precise movements. The scene was...unexpectedly affecting.
“That’s it, just hold still…we’re almost done.” Greg whispered, not wanting to break the spell. A single line of spit attached and followed as he moved his hand away from Alex’s face and Greg's eyes couldn't help but track it until it broke.
Alex let out a strange and muffled groan from the back of his throat as Greg finally sat back, satisfied with the footage, and more than a little turned on, if he was being honest with himself. He popped the phone and coin down as Alex moaned with relief, stretching out his jaw. Greg waited for him to hop up and make an excuse to leave, but he simply sat there, bracketed by Greg’s thighs, staring blankly ahead.
“Alright?” Greg asked gently.
Alex nodded shakily. He was flushed bright pink, from the tips of his ears all the way down into his shirt collar. Perhaps Greg hadn’t been the only one affected by that little show. Very slowly, so Alex could stop him if he’d like, Greg moved his socked foot inwards to rest atop of Alex’s thigh, and then in a little more, drawing a gasp from him.
“Ah. Well. Not a reaction I expected, and yet…not exactly surprising.”
“Oh god. Sorry, I don’t know why–” Alex stared down at the floor miserably, looking all of like he was waiting for the earth to open up and take him.
“Quite alright Alex.” Greg reassured. He moved his foot away again, noting with glee how Alex’s hips twitched slightly to follow it as he shuffled on his knees slightly, trying to get more comfortable without resorting to shoving a hand into his pants. He looked twitchy and nervous, in a way that only made Greg grin wider. Sensing he was being made fun of, Alex finally moved to get up, but was stopped by two large hands cupping his face. Greg rubbed a thumb gently over Alex’s beard, then over his still wet lips, as his mind raced with possibilities.
“Uncomfortable down there?” he asked innocently.
“What do you think?” Alex shot back hotly, flicking his eyes to the side since Greg wouldn’t allow his head to turn away.
Fuck it, Greg thought. “Would you open up again for me, love?” Blue eyes shuttered closed, then opened, meeting Greg’s, as Alex let out a shuddering breath, and did just that. His mouth stretched wide and welcoming as Greg let his left hand cup around the back of Alex’s head, while his right gently pressed two flat fingers into his mouth. He traced the crooked teeth back and forth, watching as Alex shivered slightly under his ministrations. A third finger slipped in and he pushed the bundle of digits back against Alex’s tongue, testing to see if his reflexes would revolt. He held the back of his head firmly, gauging the desperate swallowing action at the back of his throat. God but that’d feel heavenly around his cock, Greg thought madly as he began thrusting his fingers in and out of Alex’s open, drooling mouth.
“Close your mouth around me.” Greg ordered softly. Alex complied, changing over seamlessly from passively taking Greg’s fingers, to actively working them, sucking them off, tonguing them wetly. Greg stared at the filthy image of his sodden fingers disappearing into Alex’s mouth on repeat, the sensitive skin between his fingers tickling slightly each time it pushed up against Alex’s bristly beard.
“Nnngffh…” Alex’s desperate, muffled groans and shifting hips brought Greg back to reality. He was hard, harder than he’d been in a long while, and if Alex was game, he’d love to sort that out right now. With his free hand, he gently pressed back on Alex’s shoulder.
“Think I’m going to get all pruney if you keep me in there much longer,” he sighed as Alex finally pulled off of his digits. Greg revelled in wiping them off on his palm tree shirt with a satisfied chuckle, leaving wet lines across Alex’s chest.
Alex stared up at him desperately, his erection now very apparent in his trousers. A hand slipped from Greg’s thigh as Alex palmed himself, hips thrusting forwards as he leant up a little higher on his knees.
“Uh-uh. I don’t think so.” Greg said, snapping his fingers in front of Alex’s face. “Be a good boy and you can touch that when we’re finished.” He grabbed the solid weight of his own cock and motioned for Alex to lean forwards once more. His eyes tracked from Greg’s face, to his crotch, only to skitter away in embarrassment, like he couldn’t quite decide where to look.
“Oh god, I don’t know what to do–”
“You do know, you were just doing it.” Greg interrupted. “Open my trousers and suck me Alex, then we’ll see what you deserve after.” Alex’s pupils were blown as he met Greg’s eyes. God but he was shockingly easy to read like this. He fucking loved it. Greg didn’t realise he’d find the sound of a grown man whimpering quite so tantalising, and it was taking every ounce of self-control not to just rip his own kit off as Alex reverently pulled his fly down and began to mouth hotly at his cock through his pants.
“F–fuck. That’s it.” Greg encouraged, pushing Alex back as he lifted his hips up to help shuffle his pants down enough to free himself. “Just like you were doing before love, just keep your horrible crooked teeth off, alright?”
Alex coughed out a wet laugh, then went to work immediately, engulfing Greg’s cock in his sodden mouth. Alex moaned happily around him, pressing at him with his tongue, creating delicious pressure as he moved back and forth. He worked his hand quickly in tandem over the rest of him, driving Greg absolutely mad. He knew wasn’t going to last long at all, watching as Alex changed tack, slurping slightly and taking Greg down as far as he could manage. He hissed gratefully as his cock bumped at Alex’s throat, felt the undulating pressure of it as he slipped down into it just slightly. His hands wrapped around Alex’s head and just held him, pressed into his pelvis. It was a mere suggestion of force, none really needed when he would happily stay there as long as biology and his limited experience allowed.
Alex hinted at pulling back, and Greg let go immediately, letting him slide off his cock with a spit-sodden gasp. “Look at you,” Greg groaned in wonder, “you’re an absolutely lovely little mess, my sweet boy.” He was. Spit had dribbled down his front, and he was sweating with the physical demands of having his throat so wonderfully violated.
Alex looked simultaneously pleased and mortified. If he wasn’t already beet red in the face from exertion, he’d be there now, Greg thought, affectionately.
Let me…one more time,” Alex panted. “I think I can do it…Please would you…can you finish like that? In my mouth?”
“Oh. You say the most romantic things, Alex.” Greg laughed. “Fuck yes. Please.”
Greg set a gentle pace, holding Alex’s face still as he fucked into it. It made for a stunningly filthy tableau, drool spilling out around reddened lips to join the growing puddle dripping into Greg’s pants. It didn’t take long at all for him to reach his peak, pulling back slightly and shoving a thumb in to pull Alex’s mouth that bit wider as he came messily inside.
“Fuck,” Greg ground out through gritted teeth as he milked the last of his spend onto Alex’s waiting tongue with his free hand.
As though possessed, Alex swallowed almost immediately and without complaint, before scrambling upright, using Greg’s shoulders for leverage. His shaking hands fumbled once, twice, with his belt and fly, before Greg flicked them away in annoyance, dealing with the offending items of clothing himself. With Alex exposed, red, throbbing and desperate, Greg wasted no time returning the favour, leaning forwards on the couch to suck him off experimentally.
A soft, whining noise and repeated whispered curses told him his technique was perfectly serviceable, and that Alex wasn’t going to last longer than a few seconds. And indeed he didn’t, managing a warning at the last second before pulling his cock free and politely aiming up at his already spit drenched shirt.
Greg huffed out a satisfied laugh, looking up at the utterly wrecked man still stood before him, trousers and pants around his knees, softening cock in hand and head leant back in complete exhaustion. He looked as though he’d just ascended to an entirely different plane of existence.
“Well. You were right,” Greg chuckled tiredly.
“Oh? Hm? About what?” Alex tilted his head back to face Greg, barely coming to, just enough to halfheartedly hike up his pants and trousers to sit loose and open about his hips.
“It really was an excellent party trick.” Alex grinned wide and pleased, and Greg knew then he’d not be able to look at that gap-toothed grin without getting immediately hot and bothered ever again. He couldn’t really bring himself to care. “Do it for me again sometime?”