Chapter Text
Lately, in the renowned grounds of Night Raven College, unsettling rumours began to form. No matter which dorm you were residing in, never, EVER, mention one of the very peculiar incidents linked to it.
Most students at first thought it to be a mere joke, but it only took living through one of those incidents to see the truth for what it was. It should never get out of here. They should all keep their fragile egos and crumbled bits of pride left and make sure those incidents would stay as secrets until the day they died.
Because how could they possibly dare to tell the tale of how a Diasomnia student genuinely believed himself to be the father of an egg and took down with him a Heartslabyul student without losing face entirely, if they belonged to any of those dorms?
It all began on a clear and sunny day.
The birds were singing, the clouds were beautifully shaped. Truly, in the now well kept garden of Ramshackle, everything was going wonderfu-
“And I’m telling you that this is shit dude, stop trying to force your ideas of which flowers are the prettiest on Yuu, he already made it clear he’ll plant red roses here.”
“How dare you!!! I am merely showing him that he can keep his options open and make the viewing experience of this…place better for more people than him!”
“You’re a turbo simp who just want to put Malleus’ favorite flowers there since he camps outside Yuu’s dorm like a stalker.”
“Human, I will NOT tolerate a single word against the integrity of my liege! How dare you imply such a vile thing about a being as perfect and benevolent as him!!! You truly need to be taught a lesson. As I have heard Lilia sama say in the past, I order you to ‘square up’, as I humbly challenge you to a bout.”
“LOL ‘humbly’??? Is there anything humble about you dude? Seriously you brag so much about literally anything and everything that I’m beginning to wonder if it’s to compensate for a little something down there, if you see what I mean…”
Yuu saw almost in slow motion as Sebek digested the words thrown his way: his brows furrowed in confusion before it dawned on him that his…masculinity had been questioned so loudly. His cheeks almost immediately took a deep shade of red and he was rapidly advancing towards Ace; there was no doubt Yuu would sport a massive headache tomorrow if he didn’t stop it right now.
He hurriedly put himself between the two idiots, threatening them both with his gardening tool and a glare. He coldly said, not for the first nor the last time this week:
“Stop it you two. I have enough of your childish antics! Can’t you help me and be civil at the same time for once in your lives? Is that really too much to ask?”
“But he-” both said in unison
“Not buts! This time I really don’t care about your excuses! I did not want to resort to this but you leave me no choice. You will go buy me some rosiers from Sam’s shop. Together. Hand in hand.”
Ace made a very audible gagging noise at the prospect while Sebek paled instantly, almost to a comical degree. But alas for them, Yuu did not care anymore. They wanted to act like toddlers? Then they would be treated as such.
“Grim will watch over you two while you go do that. Don’t even think of faking it, I have both Riddle and Malleus on speed dial, they would be delighted to hear about how you two have yet again ruined my gardening session with your stupid banters.”
“Nyehe, hurry now my henchmen, if I do my work well with you two I will get extra tuna tonight!! Hurry hurry!!”
Ace rolled his eyes but knew that Yuu was not joking around when he had said he would snitch on him to Riddle. His housewarden and his best friend were definitely an item, even if they tried to keep it low, so of fucking course Yuu would sell him out to his boyfriend, urgh what a simp. So he took a deep breath, grabbed Sebek’s hand so tightly it felt like a threat and began marching on to the general direction of Sam’s shop. Sebek’s hands were weirdly clammy, but Ace didn’t pipe a word about it. This diva would chew his ear out about it if he dared mention how the dude was definitely -suspiciously even- too nervous about holding his hand, and Ace cherished his hearing very much, thank you!
“Unhand me now you- you! Don’t touch me!”
“By the Seven above shut the hell up and suck it up! The sooner we’re done with it, the sooner it’s over, don’t you get it? Do you think I’m happy about it? No, but Yuu’s threats are scarier than you, so just walk and keep quiet for once in your life.”
“But! The- What about the risks!? The egg-”
“Not you too? What is it with people and their egg obsession? First Deuce, now you? You know what I don’t even want to know, let’s hurry up before we risk getting seen like that.”
Someone, to their great misfortune, saw all of it, and had some grand scheme at hand.
“Oho!” whispered Lilia to no one in particular, “This could be fun…”
Who could have known at this moment how this would snowball into such a disaster?
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The sun had yet to rise, but in the eerie quiet of the Diasomnia dorm Lilia was for once already awake and patiently waiting in the common room.
Why was that?
He simply had no other choice but to wake up extremely early for his little, harmless prank to work out.
Time passed painfully slowly, with only the echoes of the wind for company as he painted his nails, but Lilia was a very patient fae.
‘Anytime now ’ he thought as he glanced at the clock; and to no surprise, not even five seconds after, a loud, terrified scream echoed in the deadly silent halls of Diasomnia, followed by the banging sound of a door being hinged off and thrown to the ground as well as frantic footsteps.
Lilia tried to bite down the laugh that threatened to escape his lips when a very disheveled and horrified Sebek appeared before him with… a little something in his hands.
“Li-Lilia sama!!!!!!” Sebek almost sobbed, “I- What should I do????? It’s just like you told me when I was a mere child!!!”
“Oh, well…” Lilia tried to say as evenly as he could as he inspected his nails, “I did indeed warn you but you didn’t listen, Sebek… you have to take responsibility now.”
“But…Lilia sama!? It was not my faul-”
“You had firm unprotected hand holding for a long period of time, Sebek. Even if you are only half fae it still is no good…. Ah what will I say to your grandfather…”
“Oh no! Lilia sama please do not tell grandfather yet and help me! I implore you! I cannot do this alone!!”
“Well, I fear I am unable to help you for now with this….prickly matter. What about the person you held hands with…Trappola wasn’t it?”
“I refuse! It is absolutely impossible! This human will not-”
“Sebek. It was not a proposition. He has to assume the consequences of what the two of you did. You wouldn’t possibly let him get away with that, do you now?”
Lilia cheered internally when Sebek slowly nodded to his words, and hastily turned back to his room to prepare himself for the -Lilia hoped with all his heart- conversation he would need to have in Heartslabyul with that red headed first year.
Lilia knew it was a bit too much, but he had enough of the regular cat fights of the two students that Yuu reported to him with a growing insistence that something had to be done about it. So yes, it was extreme, but it worked perfectly in their favor, no?
Nothing brings people together more than unplanned parenthood!
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“I demand to see. Ace Trappola IMMEDIATELY!!!!”
“Huh, Sebby my guy can you tone it down a lil’? It’s supes early, even our rules don’t-”
“It doesn’t matter right now!!! Bring him to me now or I will tear down this entire dorm brick by brick!!! He has to take responsibility for what he did to me!!!”
The entire dorm of Heartslabyul, in this merry -and way too early- morning, had to face an unexpected storm named Sebek Zigvolt.
The insistent, grating sound of his voice woke up anyone who was still trying desperately to go back to sleep, apart from the culprit of such an unprompted visit.
It took Deuce and a few other first years to wake him up, but even then, it didn’t bode well.
Ace was barely awake, swaying dangerously to the side. That’s what he gets for sending messages to the Heartshackle groupchat until late in the night.
“Nhn…the hell are you waking me up for…the alarm didn’t turn on yet lemme sleep dammit.”
“Dude, you have to go to the common room NOW. That loud dude from Diasomnia is wreaking havoc because he wants to see you, and none of us want Riddle to get involved so please!!”
The mention of their housewarden was enough to bring a sense of urgency in his steps despite his exhaustion.
On their way, Deuce whispered to him worriedly.
“What did you do to him this time? He seems in an even worse mood than usual!”
“Nothing!!! And it can’t be about yesterday’s fight, Yuu promised me he didn’t tell Malleus about it, in case it’d humiliate Sebek or something…”
“Then what is going on?”
“I’d like to know too, by the Seven!”
Once they finally arrived in the common room, Sebek Zigvolt stood in the center of it all, and his furious glare found Ace way faster than the redhead would have liked.
“Urgh…let’s get it over with,” he mumbled. “Eh, Sebek, what are you doing here?”
“It’s all your fault, human!!!! I told you to unhand me yesterday but you refused and now you will have to deal with it!”
Ace frowned in confusion. What was that dude even talking about? Their punishment from Yuu, really? He tiredly groaned
“Dude, are you for real right-”
“You have to take upon your responsibility as a father now!”
“My… what as a… what?”
“Do not try to get out of it, you! It’s entirely because you dared do such- such….unsightly things to me! You cannot let me deal with parenthood alone! Look at this child!”
The ‘child’ in question was…an egg. Oval and as big as one of Sebek’s hands. What…the heck? An egg???????
It was a nightmare or a very bad joke, right? Ace blinked very slowly and looked for a minute at Sebek, trying to find a semblance of a lie on his face.
He was deadass serious, and he spoke so loudly that by now, even the housewarden Riddle was here.
He did not like one bit the idea of bringing his housewarden into this mess, but surely someone with as much brains as him could tell Sebek that he was out of his mind to believe…whatever the man’s mind conjured? Right?
“What is going on here? Ace Trappola, Sebek Zigvolt, you have only one chance to explain yourself before it’s off with both of your heads.”
Ace was about to speak up when Sebek promptly cut him off and declared, way too loudly for so early in the morning.
“I apologize, housewarden Rosehearts, for coming so early here but this- human! Did things to me that demand reparation! I refuse to bear the weight of parenthood alone when he is the one at fault for such a predicament!”
Riddle blinked multiple times and slowly turned to Trey in hopes the vice housewarden would know what it all meant, but was met with a subtle head shake. He stayed silent for a while, before asking in a small, confused voice.
“The weight of…parenthood, you say?...What do you…imply by that? Could you explain yourself?”
Sebek carefully showed off the precious egg in his hands and immediately explained.
“As you know humans and faes are different, and so is their reproduction. I have been warned in the past by my fae mentor that certain…things could make a fae produce an egg. Such a thing happened, and I can say for sure that this-” he pointed towards Ace with a murderous glare, “is ENTIRELY his fault! So I once again demand for him to assume his role as the father of our child!”
Riddle stayed entirely silent while the entirety of the dorm was filled with half concealed giggles and snickers. It seemed like something broke inside of him, even.
He just took a deep breath and waved it off exhaustingly. He turned to Cater and Trey to mumble something to them, and then turned to Ace with a pitiful glance.
“I will let you…take care of this? I am not touching this mess before the daily hedgehog feeding nor before I can ask Yuu about his stance on it.”
“O-M-G acey! GG on becoming a father!” Cater immediately said with a mocking smile, “Can’t wait to see how the baby will turn out! Can I be their godfather when they hatch?”
“Come on Cater let him breathe a little,” added Trey with a laugh. “I think he will have a very long month ahead of him now…”
“Trey….Cater….I-”
Deuce suddenly mumbled, a tad too loud
“I’m gonna be an uncle?????”
Ace felt like crying.
“Oh great Seven grant me strength or I’m gonna kill myself”
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