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How to seduce your hot and shady neighbor in 10 steps, while solving your friend family drama on the way: a guide by Roy Harper

Summary:

Step 1: introduce yourself.
Step 2: be friendly.
Step 3: don't ask questions.
Step 4: find common interests.
Step 5: use your kid as honeytrap.
Step 6: be reliable (and still don't ask questions).
Step 7: get close.
Step 8: get closer.
Step 9: realize you already met the family.
Step 10: get the shovel talk anyway.

Notes:

The fic is currently being published on Tumblr, one scene every two day.
The version updated in AO3 is the final version.
EDIT 02/23/25: now part of a series, so I can share the wonderful cover my beta @haithhegimp did for it.

Chapter 1: The One where Roy has a newfound appreciation for lodgings in the bad part of town if they come with hotties

Summary:

Wait.

Did Roy just get hit on? By the hottest guy he has met since he became Lian’s dad? In his hallway, at 6 in the morning, while picking up mail?

Damn. He still got it.

Chapter Text

Step 1: introduce yourself. 


Overall, Roy’s life is pretty good. Sure, he hit a couple of rough patches not so long ago, but right now, he is the proud father of the most beautiful daughter in the entire world – from a purely objective standpoint – and the newest tenant of a pretty cool apartment.

The apartment itself is nice, recently refurbished and situated nicely on the East side of a medium sized brick building. The state of the building is a wonder in itself, since Roy did not choose to live in the best part of Blüdhaven. Well, Roy targeted what he could afford. And regardless of location, this apartment was the best deal he could have hoped for.

Of course, there is the small matter that this is Blüdhaven. The best part of town still would have been shady as hell. Up where Roy decided to live? Best not to dwell too much on what his neighbors are up to and to keep a low profile. Which is exactly what Roy has been looking for, if he is honest. A town known for being on just the wrong side of the law means he’s going to be able to trade his engineering skills for more or less legal endeavors and pay his bills on time.

At least, that’s the plan. In general, it does sound good. To him, at least.

Sure, Dick – Boy Wonder – Grayson had a thing (or several hundered of them) to say about a better use of Roy’s talents, blablabla, legality, blablabla, risky business, blablabla. Which is a far easier stand to have when you are a bachelor with a 7-to-5 job and a trust fund to fall back on, is all that Roy is saying. Not to his friend’s face, of course, because God knows Bruce is still a sore subject even now that they have officially reconciled – and are mostly capable of working together, when faced with a world ending emergency.

Of course, that also means that between his regular job, vigilante duties in Blüdhaven and Batman adjacent activities – without mentioning the Justice League and the Titans still calling him every other day - Roy’s oldest friend does not exactly have the amount of free time needed to act as a reliable support system. Which is the exact reason Roy is looking for contracting work rather than a regular job.

He wants to be there for Lian, to spend his days with her rather than sending her to preschool. So maybe, he is a little clingy with his daughter. Sue him, he found out he was a dad only a couple of months ago! Small sacrifices must be made. Who needs a social life anyway?

So, Roy’s point is that finding his new lodgings is a blast! He stands in his fully furnished apartment, having just finished organizing his and Lian’s stuff in the complimentary closets – really, he would have kissed his landlord if he had met the guy instead of exchanging e-mails with him and finding the key on the doormat when he moved in - and feels ready to start his new life.

And he will not let the Grinches of his life tell him overwise.

***

A couple of days later, Roy has completed his first job. All that is left is the delivery, which is the part most likely to blow up in his face. And not because of the device he built – he is a professional, thank you very much.

Finding the job was the easy part; he boasted his skills in a couple of auto shops and hardware stores he visited in his first weeks, was approached with a proposal, negotiated the deadline and price, and went to build the thing – some kind of trig and trap device, pretty straightforward, his client complained about a newly arrived pest problem?  If not for the untraceable payment, Roy could kid himself that the job is legit. But it’s not, and now he has to go deliver it – because there is no way he’s going to share his own address.

It goes as well as one could expect being on this side of the law. The guy at the reception site – an abandoned warehouse, so original - is armed and apparently hopes for a posturing bonus. Roy has faced a lot more frightening sights than a shirt threatening to burst from inadequate bulking up, so he does not let it damper his enthusiasm.

Roy delivers his device, ignores the verbal comment – flexing a little when his temper gets tested – confirms the payment and calls his best friend the second he is on the grim streets of Blüdhaven’s industrial district.

Dick picks up on the second ring. “Missed me, honey?” Roy jokes, kicking an unidentified rodent away from him. Pest problem indeed, though the machine he just delivered is sized for mammals bigger than this one. Best not to dwell too much on it, though.

“Always, lover boy,” Dick answers, not missing a beat. There is a reason they’re friends, after all. “Everything okay on your end?” he asks, knowing where Roy was.

That’s how they planned it: Roy making the delivery and calling Dick fifteen minutes after the rendezvous time, else Nightwing would come swinging to the rescue. Roy can almost see him, in full vigilante regalia, on his kitchen stool in front of a hot cocoa while waiting for his call.

Ok, he might have pushed the sleep deprivation too far to complete the job on time. Note to self, extend the deadline the next time to take into account a toddlers' temper emergencies. It’s not just him anymore. He still has to adjust to that.

“Yup”, Roy confirms happily, high from the satisfaction of a – paid - job well done. “Thanks for the remote assist, man.”

“Not a problem.” Dick reassures him. “I’m glad to have you around, Roy. If the price to pay is to be on stand-by every now to keep you out of trouble, I’m fine with it.”

Roy takes a falsely affronted tone. “And why would you expect me to get in trouble, exactly? I’ll have you know, I am a family man and model citizen.”

Dick does not gratify him with an answer and bids him good night, extracting an easy promise from Roy to keep him updated for his next planned delivery.

Dick is a good friend. Not much of a support system, but he’s here when Roy needs him, and that’s what matters, now.

***

Roy is yet to get over the awe for his new apartment when he discovers out the extra bonus of living in his building.

It’s way too early to be up and running - especially for an ex-vigilante - but Roy is a dad now, so on a bright 6 am morning, he finds himself sorting mail in his building hallway. Or at least trying to. Because there is already somebody there, imperceptibly shaking his head over the large pile of junk mail in his hands.

Therein lies Roy’s problem: for all his building is nice and properly maintained, the entrance hallway is not large by any means. The mailboxes take up good third of the space, and what is left is just enough for two average people crossing path. Emphasis on average.

Roy knows from previous experience and death glares from his charming cohabitants than he does not, in fact, qualify as averaged sized. Hence the 6 am run, designed to avoid running into anybody while he sorts through what is usually destinated to the bin expect for the occasionally bills that he needs to pay on time.

Circling back to his problem, the man cursing under his breath in front of him is nowhere close to average either. He looks as tall as Roy, and even broader than him, which is no small feat – Roy is an archer, and he heard enough people waxing poetic about his arms to be aware it’s one of best features.

There is no way they will both fit in the space.

Roy sights and braces himself to go back the way he came rather than risk the ire of one of his neighbors. Hearing him, the man looks up and Roy freezes. He’s pinned in place by furrowed brows and the greenest eyes he has seen. No, not green exactly. Some kind of teal color?

There is a hint of recognition in the gaze, almost too quick for Roy to catch. He scrambles his brain quickly, trying to push aside the brown leather jacket and dark pants, focusing on the face to recall if he already met the man – one of the disastrous previous mail running, maybe? Something is stirring in the back of his mind, but Roy knows he would have remembered these eyes. He means, the color of it, it’s so specific.

The brow unfurls itself and there is an open question on the face in front of him instead.

“Oh, hum...” Roy stutters a little, still taken aback. “I was looking for my mail, too. I’ll come back later.”

The question remains in place. How come Roy is the one that feels like an imbecile, perched on the last steps of the staircase? Does that man actually know he is built like a brick wall?

When in doubt, Roy always tries for humor. “I don’t think we’ll both fit in there.” He adds as he gestures vaguely at the space in front of him.

His neighbor raises an eyebrow and turns around. Like he doesn’t already know the size of the place or something. Not that Roy is complaining, because it appears Roy definitively did not meet the guy before. Forget the eyes, he would have remembered an ass like that.

“No, I guess it’s not. I’m not sure I’m entirely the one to blame, though.” His – decidedly very hot – neighbor answers him with a crooked smile showing teeth. “I’m almost finished, if you don’t mind the wait. I’ve heard the view can make up for it.” He adds, smile impossibly wider.

Hum? The building is nice, sure, better than Roy was hoping for, but the glass front door offers nothing more than a plunging view on the street a couple of steps down, and the hallway walls are a bland brand of beige. Not exactly a view, even for an interior design fan, which Roy is not.

Before Roy has finished processing the remark, his neighbor closes his mailbox, throws a big chunk of paper in the trash bin in the corner and tries to get on the stairs. Keeping up with program, Roy takes a step in the hallway, turning around at the same time than the other man, the only way to avoid a painful crash for both of them.

It takes a couple of steps back and forward, but at last they are victorious, positions exchanged.

“I’ll see you around, then.” With one last blinding smile, hot neighbor is gone, taking the stairs three at a time. Roy spares a moment to fantasize about the powerful tights on display, before going back to his mundane yet unavoidable task: mail sorting.

Wait.

Did Roy just get hit on? By the hottest guy he has met since he became Lian’s dad? In his hallway, at 6 in the morning, while picking up mail?

Damn. He still got it.

***

He meets his hot neighbor a few more times in the following weeks. He gets a name – Peter – and get flirted with every time they interact. The comments are mostly ironic, pretty subdued and Roy gives at good as he gets, because the man is fun and a sight for a celibate single dad’s sore eyes.

Ego boost aside, Peter shares tips about the building and the best take-out places around, making Roy’s life easier. Roy is not stupid enough to try something with somebody living in the same building that his daughter and him, but he can appreciate the man from a distance and trade smart comments when they cross path.

He does not plan to take things any further than that.

Honestly.