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A high-pitched, feminine scream breaks the quiet of the morning.
The three years of training to be a Jujutsu sorcerer have taught Megumi when someone is screaming because they’re in peril, surprise, or distress. As it is barely light outside —and this scream is certainly not one of someone who’s being actively murdered by a curse — he returns to eating his breakfast.
Nobara doesn’t even lift her head from the table, and Maki just absently pets her hair and reads a book. Inumaki doesn’t pause sipping his tea. They’re all way too used to screaming for this. It’s too early. Yuuta probably would have cared, despite the early hour, but he’s already finished his breakfast and gone off to run or exercise or do god-knows-what.
A loud bang and the sounds of someone sprinting doesn’t raise any brows either. Maki flips the page of her book, Inumaki sips his tea, and Megumi takes another bite of rice and contemplates his life choices.
Mostly that second thing when Yuuji comes sliding into the room, still screaming, and -uh- dick out.
“LOOK AT MY DICK!” he screams — unnecessarily — because they’re definitely all looking already. Yuuji’s fucking hung, and Megumi would be a little more torn up about it if he wasn’t directly benefiting from it on the regular. Nobara’s finally upright, staring, with a mean look on her face that Megumi knows means Yuuji’s going to leave this room crying.
Inumaki and Maki both tilt their heads, appraising as requested.
“I mean it looks fine? I wouldn’t kick you out of bed for it,” Maki says, leaning one elbow on the back of her chair and turning to face Yuuji.
“Awww it was nice of god to give you a few extra inches, something to compensate you for being so fucking stupid,” Nobara sing-songs, throwing her head back and cackling.
“Tuna Mayo?”
Megumi fucking chokes on his mouthful of rice, and the girls cackle.
“’Where’s the rest of it?’ You’re such a dick, Toge!” Maki howls, Nobara slumped in her lap, crying with laughter.
“I hate all of you!!” Yuuji yells, pink all the way down to where his collar bones are visible above his shirt collar. “This is serious!! He pierced my fucking dick!”
Megumi’s never heard Yuuji swear this much in all the years he’s known him, and only the sight of the silver piercings lining the bottom of Yuuji’s dick keep him from teasing more.
That is — an entire jacob’s ladder of piercings, holy shit. Megumi’s mouth feels a little dry and he has to shift in his seat to hide how excited he’s getting. The texture on that is going to be amazing, god Sukuna has the best idea-
Oh shit, Megumi is definitely the reason Yuuji woke up with his dick pierced to absolute hell.
Nobara finally sits up, takes one look at Megumi’s face, and drops her head back into Maki’s lap, sobbing in laughter.
“This isn’t funny!” Yuuji shrieks, stamping his feet a little in distress. Megumi really wants to comfort him in his time of need, but Megumi.exe has stopped working and all of his brain power is being used to very carefully not think about what’s going to happen to him tonight.
“Salmon?” Inumaki finally asks, hiding his smile behind his high collar.
“Traitor,” Megumi and Nobara hiss.
“I tried! He won’t let me take them out! He keeps biting me when I try!”
“Alright, alright,” Maki finally says, deciding to be the most responsible adult in the room. “Why don’t you go see Doctor Ieiri? Are they painful or did he at least heal them?”
Yuuji’s face is pinched in misery and Megumi really does feel a little bad about it. It had to have been a real shock to wake up with all that metal down there, and the knowledge that Sukuna had been puppeting him. He’s been mostly quiet for the last two years, but they’re all still aware of what he’s capable of. It must be so violating to have your body modified like that — but if he could wait like one night for Megumi to just get a taste that would be amazing.
“I mean, you could leave them, I think they look pretty cool,” Megumi mutters, really hoping his face isn’t as red as it feels. The slit under Yuuji’s eye cracks open and Megumi swallows hard. Sukuna involving himself right now would be so unfortunate on so many levels.
“Yeah I bet you do,” Nobara snickers, dodging his attempt to kick her leg under the table.
“Really, Fushiguro, you think so?” Yuuji sniffles a little, and Megumi has to really concentrate to drag his eyes back up to Yuuji’s face so he can try to be supportive. Fuck his mouth is dry and watering at the same time, how is that even possible?
“Yeah, I really do. Very badass.” He tries not to sound like he’s just waiting for a chance to get on his knees and run his tongue all over the little barbells. Yuuji’s smile is a little watery and grateful, but the girls both giggle. So, mixed results.
They stand there for a long minute, smiling at each other, before Maki clears her throat.
“Itadori.”
“Yes?”
“Go put on your fucking pants.”
Yuuji squeaks and covers himself with his hands like he hasn’t been standing there with his dick out for five minutes. He throws apologies over his shoulder, tripping over his feet to get back to his room. From the ensuing banging noises, he’s only marginally successful in not running into the walls and his door.
They sit in silence for a few minutes, Megumi staring blankly at his plate as he wills himself to stop being outwardly horny; wondering how many times he can jerk off before class to take the edge off.
“So, what’s it like being the luckiest bitch alive, Megs?” Nobara asks, biting into a piece of toast and waving it around.
“I’ll let you know tomorrow, but right now it’s pretty good.”
Maki and Nobara laugh, and Megumi makes an effort to resume eating. He’s got to wait at least ten minutes before heading back to his room so Yuuji won’t know what he’s up to. Sukuna definitely knows, but Megumi assumes that was the point of waiting instead of waking him up early this morning to show him. Fuck he’s going to be useless all day.
“So I know I said I didn’t want to hear about you getting rawed by the King of Curses, but turns out I was wrong. I want a fucking dissertation length review of how that feels tomorrow.”
Honestly, even with as private a person as he is, Megumi is desperate to talk to someone about this.
“It’s weird, right? I definitely shouldn’t be giving it up to the literal devil?”
Maki hums.
“Look, little cousin,” she’s actually his aunt but that’s fine, “I think you’re basically doing community service. Like every minute you’re on his dick is a minute he’s not off murdering people.”
“Yeah, he’s been super quiet since you two started hooking up. You’re basically a hero, you lucky slut.” Nobara chimes in, leaning her elbow on the table and dropping her chin in her hand. “Seriously though, how is it? It’s gotta be good right? He’s fucking hung!”
Megumi leans forward and crosses his arms over the table with a little dreamy sigh.
“Nobara, it’s so fucking good,” he says seriously, “he’s a grower and a shower. And like — ribbed? Almost? Like it’s definitely a different texture when he’s Sukuna.”
“Salmon?”
Megumi turns a little to face Inumaki on his right.
“Oh texture makes it wildly different. I can tell you those piercings are going to be intense.”
“Can't tell if I’m breaking out the headphones or the lube tonight, honestly,” Maki says, finally setting her book down. “I’m proud of you, kid, you’re doing the family name some much needed sexual justice.”
“So, like, as a hypothetical, how much would it take to get you to film it?”
“I’m not making a sex tape with the King of Curses, Nobara!”
“She’s not wrong, it would sell exceptionally well!” Gojo says, leaning back and wrapping an arm around the back of Megumi’s chair.
Inumaki chokes on his tea and Megumi leaps half a foot in the air. Their esteemed teacher appears from thin air, joining the table and the conversation like Megumi wouldn’t rather die than talk about this with him. He hadn’t been embarrassed before, but now he wants to melt into the shadows forever.
“Gojo!”
“I heard a fair maiden screaming and came to make sure my cute little students were safe and sound!” he says dramatically, grabbing Megumi by the shoulders and pulling him in for a side-hug. “Imagine my surprise when I arrive just to hear about my sweet, precious, virginal son Megumi being defiled by that evil curse!”
Megumi writhes like a cat in bath water, struggling uselessly against Gojo’s hold before pressing his hands together to summon Kuro.
“My precious baby that I carried for nine long months with my own uterus!” Gojo laments, stroking Kuro’s fluffy head as the dog refuses to bite him. The fucking traitor!
“Your ‘precious baby’ is getting hella dick, Sensei. And I can confirm it’s a nice a dick.” Nobara says, finishing her breakfast, and finally awake enough to start the day. She grins and leans forward, eyes full of a mischief that makes Megumi’s stomach sink.
“I room right down the hall and I can hear him getting fucked for hours every. Single. Night. Sukuna makes him beg for it until he cries, and sometimes he still won’t give it to him. Those nights are rough, Sensei. He just won’t let your precious little Megumi come, but I can hear how hard Sukuna’s fucking him, the wet, solid noise of him hitting your boy raw. Megumi crying, begging Sukuna to let him come ‘oh please, please I’ll do anything!’ How many times do you think you’ve agreed to be his vessel, Megumi?” She turns to Megumi with an evil grin, and he tries very hard not to be turned on by her recounting his very active sex life, “Just so he will let you have a little orgasm?
“I like the nights where he doesn’t let you come at all, and I can just hear you crying, and the next day you’re all sad and pent up, and even Yuuji can tell you’ve been crying all night. You’re so desperate to please those days I think a ‘good boy’ would make you cream your little panties. And that’s not even the dirty nights where I can hear Sukuna smacking that little ass raw before he-“
“Alright! I concede! I’m leaving!” Gojo says, vanishing as easily as he appeared, pink spreading down his cheeks and up to the tips of his ears.
Nobara and Maki high five and cackle.
“Men think their locker room talk is so much worse than ours, but I’ve never met a man who could take it as well as he dishes it out. Get fucked, Sensei!”
Megumi sighs, and runs his fingers through Kuro’s fur. “Can you actually hear us having sex?”
“Oh yeah, and you’re really lucky I didn’t tell Gojo that Sukuna makes you call him ‘Sensei’ and ‘Daddy’, you both need therapy and Jesus for that one.”
Megumi drums his fingers on the table in contemplation, trying to ignore how warm his face feels at this blatant recital of his sex life.
“Yeah, I’m not sorry. I’d probably fucking murder people if I meant I could keep getting Sukuna’s dick.” He finally says with a shrug.
“I know this about you, and you’re valid for it,” Nobara says, and they all stand up to clear their plates. Megumi stops trying to conceal the fact that he’s definitely hard and going to go rub one out before class, leaving the room with barely a backwards wave.
Maki wraps her arms around Nobara’s waist and rests her chin on her shoulder. “So, we’re drugging Itadori tonight so Sukuna can come out faster, right? I bet we can have him out cold by like 8.”
“Oh absolutely.”
“Excellent, I’ll be at your room around 7:30,” Maki says, pressing a kiss to Nobara’s cheek and sauntering out of the room.
“Salmon?”
“Yeah there’s a few free rooms, they might be a little dusty, just do a little sweeping first.” She confirms and Inumaki shoots her a thumbs up.
Nobara never thought she would be happy that the King of Curses is possessing one of her very best friends, but she can’t say it’s a bad surprise.