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“Forehead, you can’t just show up to my wedding dateless! It’s illegal!” Ino gestures wildly with her arms to make sure Sakura understands that this is a monumental oversight on her part. “As my maid of honor, you are obligated to take someone to my wedding! It’s only a week away! I can set you up with someone. There’s Kiba, Shino, Lee— ”
“Thanks, but no thanks, Pig,” Sakura snorts. “Don’t worry, I’ll find a date to your wedding and I don’t need your help to do it.”
Ino eyes her warily, “I’m serious, Forehead. A date is required. For the photos of course. I want my big day to be perfect. And it won’t be perfect if I see you moping around about Sasuke coming out of the closet again. I’m sorry, Sakura but he likes dick. Naruto’s dick in fact— ”
“You can stop right there,” Sakura cuts her off, mortified she would bring the subject up in a quiet coffee shop. She looks around, making sure no one is paying them any mind. Then she hisses at her, “I am not moping over Sasuke being gay. In fact, I’m happy for him and Naruto. They both deserve happiness over the shitty lives they’ve lived through. And if they find that together, then I want my closest friends and teammates happy.”
In fact, she is still moping over the reality that Sasuke was never in love with her, but Ino didn’t need to know that. It has been two years since the war already, she should be over it by now. Truly, she wants her teammates to be happy, but sometimes it hurt to watch them be so happy together.
She was left behind all over again.
Ino pokes her shin with her toe, taking her out of her thoughts, “You deserve to be happy too, you know,” Ino reassures her softly, a rare moment of vulnerability peeking through their facade of being intense rivals.
“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Sakura stares into the coffee cup in her hands, swirling its contents around mindlessly.
“Here’s my report, Hokage-sama!” Sakura chirps as she slams the giant stack of papers onto Kakashi’s desk.
Kakashi groans dramatically, dragging his hand down his face. “Sakura, stop calling me that. Just Kakashi, please. Verbal report, I don’t have time to read all of this.”
Sakura smirks, “The short version or the long version?”
He glares at her, “The short version.” She giggles and goes into her report about the current budgets and improvements on the children’s mental health facility. She almost wants to go into the long version just to irritate her Sensei, but she can see how haggard his appearance is, knowing he needs a proper meal and a shower, and spares him the minute details.
“That was the short version?” he asks after staring at the clock and noticing twenty minutes had already passed by. “How long was the long version?”
Sakura pretends to ponder her answer, “Two or three hours depending on if I go into Ino’s research on brain development in children and if— ”
Kakashi’s head bangs on the desk, “Nope, no more, Sakura. I can’t take any more paperwork. Your poor, old Sensei is dying from desk duty.”
She reaches over the desk and bops the man over the head, “Come on, you big baby, let’s go get you a proper meal.” She begins to tidy his desk up as he pretends to use monumental effort to raise himself from the desk. “You aren’t poor by the way,” she reminds him, “you now have the highest paying salary in this village. In actuality, you can pay for my meal as well. My treat.”
The Rokudaime hangs his robes on the hook in the corner, calling his duty done for the day. He gives his teammate a petulant huff, “Sakura-chan, but I am poor. Poor in spirit and poor from purchasing all the first edition Icha Icha books. Naruto charged me nearly a year’s salary to buy off all of Jiraiya’s notes and manuscripts and unreleased works.”
“And whose fault is that?”
“Clearly Naruto’s.”
“Clearly.”
They banter back and forth as they reach the sushi restaurant they both are fond of and order their meals. Their chit chat somehow lands on the subject of Ino and Sai’s wedding and Sakura let’s Kakashi in on her dilemma with having to find a suitable date before the wedding.
“You know, I am going to the wedding as well, right?” Kakashi gets in between mouthfuls of shashimi.
“Yeah, the entire village is invited basically. What of it?” Sakura drinks her sake, leaning back in her chair.
Kakashi just stares at her. She kicks back the rest of her cup and lands her chair back on all fours. “Yes? And?”
Kakashi shakes his head, “You are nearly as obtuse as Naruto sometimes,” he sighs and Sakura shrieks at the insult but he ignores her empty threats. “I don’t have a date to the wedding. You need a date for the wedding. I could be your date to get Ino off your back, and Genma off mine. We get along well enough that she’d likely get off your case, assuming we’ve been harboring some secret relationship for some time and that’s why you have stood up all your blind dates for the past year.”
“I did not stand up all of them!” Sakura defends herself. She only stood up three. Out of four. And four was the reason she stood up the other three that came afterwards. “You have to admit, Isamu was a disaster.”
“A total disaster.”
“See! Ino’s choice in men cannot be trusted!”
“Absolutely. She is marrying Sai. But we are getting off topic. Deal or no deal?”
Kakashi had a point. Of her limited choices, everyone seemed to be paired off at this point. Ino didn’t know, but Tenten and Lee have been secretly seeing one another on the lowdown because Tenten didn’t want to upset Hinata about finding someone after Neji. Kiba seemed to be interested in Hinata. Hinata, like Sakura, had been crushed to find out Naruto and her would also never be. Shino… was a mystery Sakura wasn’t interested in solving. Her only other options were civilian men, and that did not go well for her the one date she did go on, so she stayed clear of the civilian hot spots.
They had history. For better or worse they shared a lot of history together. And chemistry. They found a comfortable rhythm as friends as Sakura grew into her adult life. Ino had asked her about her and Kakashi’s relationship status in the past. So had others, but she told them all it was strictly platonic and no one really pestered her after that. If she did go through with this, everyone would stick up their noses claiming they ‘told her so’ and that she was a bad liar. In fact, the opposite would be quite true. They would have a fun night and it would all be over, no harm done.
“Deal,” Sakura agreed.
Much to Ino’s mother’s annoyance, Ino had insisted that she did not want to wear ‘boring traditional clothes’ and so Sakura was putting on her bridesmaid’s dress, and finishing her make-up when a knock comes at her door. Setting down the mascara, Sakura’s heels click the entire way to the door as she opens it, revealing none other than the Rokudaime Hokage.
Kakashi is holding out a bouquet of alstroemerias, presenting his eye smile to Sakura as she takes them. “You look beautiful, Sakura.”
She stammers, turning red at the unexpected gesture of kindness Kakashi is displaying. “Um, um, thanks, Kakashi-sensei.” She takes a good look at him. He is wearing a black suit with a green tie and white undershirt, getting Ino’s memo to ‘toss out those traditional rags.’ He looks, well, handsome. He still has his face annoyingly covered up, but his hair is pulled back into a slick bun and the suit clings to his body in all the right places, giving the impression of a well and fit man. He has even ditched his fingerless gloves and Sakura stares at his bare hands for the first time. The sight boggles her mind.
“You look good as well,” she quickly adds, not wanting to be rude. Did that sound stupid? She hopes not. Kakashi chuckles, putting her back at ease. “Are you ready to create a scandal?”
“Let me finish my make up and put on my earrings, and then yes, I’ll be prepared to fill the rumor mill for weeks,” she returns to her mirror, finishing off her mascara and putting on her dangling chandelier earrings and necklace that matches with it. They were white gold with diamonds, a gift from her father and mother when she came back from the war in one piece.
Sakura examines herself in the mirror. Her hair is pulled up into a braided bun with her bangs curled to frame her face. Nothing is smudged and all seems to be in order. Satisfied with her appearance, she goes to Kakashi who is politely waiting in her kitchen. They leave the apartment, and after she locks her door, he holds out his arm for her to take.
Ino’s jaw drops to the floor as Sakura and Kakashi enter the back room for the wedding party.
“Hot damn, Forehead, no wonder why you kept rejecting all my blind dates! I was right, you did have a thing for Hotake!” Kakashi raises his brows at the nickname but Sakura shrugs it off. “We are private people, Ino. You know how stuff like this is going to cause an absolute scene. Sorry to reveal this on your big day.”
“Are you kidding me?!” Ino steals Sakura from Kakashi, “You are going to make my wedding the most famous in Konoha! I’ll be in the headlines for weeks! The Hokage coming out about his secret relationship with his former student.” Ino waggles her eyebrows, “So how long has this salacious secret been going on? A year at least? Is he good in bed?”
Kakashi chokes on the water he had been drinking and Sakura bursts out laughing. This is way too easy, Ino fell for it all hook, line and sinker, “About the time you began trying to set me up on disastrous blind dates. And what about private people did you not get, Pig? I’m not divulging the details of our sex life.”
Ino wraps an arm around her best friend, “You aren’t divulging the details, yet. But I’ll get them, Forehead, one way or another.”
Sakura ducks under her arm and twirls back towards Kakashi, giving her friend a mischievous smile, “Good luck, Pig.”
The ceremony is regal, Ino’s family sparing no expense on this wedding. A picture of Inoichi and Asuma sit on a small table at the altar, and Sakura gives a quick prayer for both men. It hurts knowing that Ino is much more affected by their absences than she’ll ever let on, but Shikamaru and Chouji walk her down the aisle as proud brothers, ready to attempt to fill the gaps as best as they can.
Sai actually tears up, a testament to how far the man has come in his emotional intelligence, catching on a few words in his vows to Ino. They kiss and seal their union, and Sakura feels a pang of jealousy as the first of her friends marry.
The reception, however, has her quickly forgetting her blues. Lee challenges Sakura to an arm wrestling contest, and then a drinking contest, both of which Sakura wins. Money is being passed left and right as people bet on the two of them, the new eternal rivals, they whisper. Sakura quite enjoys the feeling of something passing on from Kakashi to her, rather than squarely standing on the mantle of Tsunade’s shoulders. Even if its something as silly as pissing contests with Lee. Gaara and Kankuro are more standoffish than usual, Gaara’s eyes continually floating towards Naruto and Sasuke dancing toe to toe with one another. She should have put two and two together sooner, but she guesses Naruto broke more than just Hinata’s and hers hearts.
Kankuro kept sending irritated stares at Kakashi, and regarding him coolly, causing Temari to snap at him more than once during the night. Completely unsure what that was all about, Sakura and Kakashi answer a million awkward questions by friends about their fake relationship. Good thing the two of them were ninja and prepared a detailed analysis of their supposed relationship, so they could quickly put to rest any negative rumors that would shed Kakashi as some kind of pedophile.
Kakashi stood up, extending a hand to Sakura, “Would the maid of honor like a dance?”
“To escape twenty questions, yes,” and she allowed him to pull her up and whisk her to the dance floor.
Not so surprisingly, Kakashi did not have two left feet like Naruto did, so they flow about flawlessly across the dance floor, as if they had been partners for years. They laugh and joke and speculate about who would hook up with who by the end of the night or who was likely to get married next.
“Maybe we should do this more often,” Sakura suggests and Kakashi cocks his head like a puppy. At this action she could see the resemblance between him and the ninken. He twirls her away and back again, arm around her waist as he brings her close. Sakura feels slightly breathless at how close they are. “Not dancing, though, yes, you are the best dance partner I’ve had in a decade. I mean, we both know more of our comrades will marry, likely sooner than later, which will mean countless more ceremonies and receptions to find dates for. It would be much easier and less disastrous if we mutually agreed to attend any events requiring a plus one together. As friends, unless one of us gets partnered up, of course.”
The song ends and Kakashi dips her, considering her offer. “If we attend every wedding together, people are going to think our relationship is pretty serious. How are we supposed to act outside of these events?”
“Like we always do? People should know by now that you are not the overly affectionate type, and if we have been “hiding” for a year already, then there is no reason to change the dynamic. Paparazzi and whomever will start trailing us now so we will have to be secretive anyways to avoid tabloids. We are both incredibly busy people, its impossible to spend every moment together anyways.” He nods in agreement and she can see him thinking through every possible scenario of how this can go wrong.
She taps his shoulder playfully, “Stop over thinking it. What’s the worst that can happen?”
Neither of them answer but she assumes he is thinking the same thing she does.
No sooner than a week after Ino and Sai’s spring wedding, Naruto proposes to Sasuke and they plan their wedding for the end of the summer. Of course, the entire five nations is invited, and its a village wide effort to prepare for this ceremony. Sakura and Kakashi are busier than ever, both in their duties and as maid of honor and best man of the wedding. Thankfully, Ino is flourishing as a self-declared wedding planner, barking orders at everyone to coordinate the wedding of the century.
Because of the roles they play in this wedding, outside of work they are consistently together doing this or that for Naruto and Sasuke. Constantly people show them their photos in tabloids or newspapers, but they brush it off, used to the increased attention. The world would always have their opinions, but none of it mattered to Sakura. Her heart ached more acutely in this season, as reminders of all the ways she imagined a wedding between her and Sasuke continually popped up for obvious reasons.
They sit together hidden in the outcropping of Kakashi’s hair on the Hokage Mountain, avoiding any and all duties expected of them. Sakura leans into Kakashi, finally expressing the words she had hidden for so long now.
“I feel so selfish being upset that it’s Naruto and not me planning a wedding with Sasuke.”
His arm wraps around her and gives a squeeze. “It’s hard to let go of a dream you held for so long that it shaped you as a person. It’s okay to grieve the future you never got to have.”
Her tears are forming before she can stop them. “It sounds like you have experience in that department.”
His head tilts back to stare up at the stars, “Yeah, unfortunately I do.” He brings his head back down to catch her gaze. She sees a flicker of emotion in those gunmetal eyes. “Promise me you won’t grieve as long as I did?”
“I… I’ll try.”
She cries quietly, relieved that she told someone. They sit there for hours, not saying a word, wrapped up in their own thoughts.
They slowly sway back and forth under the pergola as the lightning bugs dance around them. Most of the guests are passed out or inside, partying the night away. Sakura lays her head on Kakashi’s chest, dancing to the beat of a song that was over long ago.
Kakashi leans in to ask her quietly, “How are you feeling about all this now?”
She tilts her face to look up at him, “It still hurts. But its not as potent now that I’m no longer trying to handle all my pain myself. Thank you.”
He smiles, something soft and warm, and she no longer feels alone.
Shikamaru and Temari have a winter wedding in Suna, Team Seven traveling together like old times. Other than Sasuke’s edges are softened by Naruto’s unfailing devotion, Sakura can imagine that they are twelve year olds once again, annoying the shit out of Kakashi, pranking him the entire way to Suna. They manage to catch him off guard now, as they are much more skilled than they were at twelve, and Kakashi actually begs them to stop. They sit around the fire recounting tales of the past, both good and bad, through a new lens.
There is laughing, there is some crying, and words spoken that had been held back for years. Sakura feels healed in a way that she can’t explain, and when Sasuke gives her a genuine hug she can no longer hold onto her resentment. She allows it to fall to the ground the moment she opens up her arms to allow Sasuke to envelop her, and she sobs openly for all to see. Yet it isn’t so shameful now, or stupid, or selfish. Something is released.
She feels free.
That night in her tent with Kakashi, their fingers brush one another and remain there.
The worst of the bitter winter months offer a reprieve from weddings, Sakura and Kakashi going back to their typical routine. Part of her feels a little emptier than normal, but she blames it on the weather and dives back into her work.
The spring offers a new chance for romance to bloom, with Tenten and Lee finally openly declaring their love for each other. It is a small ceremony, filled mostly with the Konoha Twelve and the remaining Sensei, but it makes it no less romantic or beautiful. The cherry blossoms are in full bloom and Gai officiates the wedding, sobbing and speaking about the ‘Springtime of Youth’ no less than thirty-five times.
Kakashi holds her hand until Gai and Lee are sobbing so hard that no one can understand what they are saying, and so he intervenes and officiates the rest of the wedding with the grace of a respected Hokage. She feels this innate proudness at watching him take command and seamlessly run the ceremony as if it had been scripted that way all along. Lee and Tenten’s kiss had been a wet and snotty mess, but Sakura still thought it was lovely.
The esteemed Rokudaime also gets tasked with delivering Lee’s and Gai’s speeches at the reception, because they have not stopped crying. But when the speeches were over and no one demanded anything of him, he pulls Sakura behind the tree of her namesake, plucking a flower off one of the branches and placing it in her hair.
The summer is spent traveling to Kumo, where Karui and Chouji of all people, are set to be married. Sakura and Kakashi get caught in the thunderstorm of the century, running through the open country to find shelter literally anywhere. Kakashi redirects lightning from them twice before a cave appears and they dive in. They look sadder than wet dogs, with their sopping hair and dripping clothes. They strip down to their under garments, and Sakura cannot stop the palpitations in her chest when Kakashi takes off his mask. She turns her head away, feeling more vulnerable at seeing his face than the shape of his manhood through his boxers.
She uses wind release to dry their clothes and cool off her heated body, refusing to make eye contact with him.
Shino marries a civilian man whose occupation is an entomologist and she instantly knows that this is the right person for Shino. She has a gala for the children’s hospital the day of the wedding and is unable to attend. The whole gala she feels like a piece of her is missing, as she gives her speeches and thanks to the donors. She is dressed elegantly and doesn’t have her typical dress up partner to enjoy it with.
She wonders if Kakashi is thinking the same thing while he is at Shino’s wedding.
Kiba somehow worms his way into Hinata’s heart because that fall they have their wedding. Sakura notes that she is the only member of Konoha Twelve who isn’t married yet, but the thought doesn’t bother her anymore. She is happy enough to be surrounded by all the people she loves.
Unlike Ino’s wedding, Hinata’s is full on traditional, everybody in their best yukatas and kimonos. Seeing Kakashi in a yukata with his family crest printed on the back stirs something inside of her, wishing that their crests were matching. The thought is so dizzying that she has to sit down, Kakashi casting her a concerned glance. She waves him off, assuring him that she is fine, but he never leaves her side, ordering someone to get her water while he holds her hand.
“What was that all about?” he asks, searching her eyes for the answer.
She attempts to laugh it off. It sounds fake, “Oh it’s nothing, Kakashi.”
He squeezes her hand, “Sakura,” he warns, “I know you well enough to know that wasn’t nothing. Please tell me what is going on.”
“I love you.”
He blinks stupidly, she continues, “I just realized that I love you. And that I have loved you for a long time now. Only I just realized it now. Does that make sense?” Her heart is bursting through her ribcage, threatening to spill all her devotion out on the leaves at her feet.
“No.” But then his mask is pulled down and his lips are on hers. The world falls away and its only them two and this moment.
They part for air. “Marry me,” he says and its her turn to stare blankly at him. “Today,” he emphasizes.
“But we are at a wedding,” comes out her automatic reply, her head and heart not quite comprehending anything that is happening right now.
He grabs her face in his hands. “Then let’s do it tomorrow. Or next week. I don’t care. All I know is that I don’t want to spend another moment without you.”
“Okay.”
Sakura and Kakashi marry in the middle of winter. They could have chosen spring signifying new beginnings, or summer signifying their growth as people, or fall signifying letting go of their past. Yet they choose winter, signifying the struggles and mourning they had to endure in order for their old selves to die so that their new selves could birth and find their way to each other.
The day is like being in a trance, completely surreal. The snow is freshly powdering the ground and the ice is lining the trees; sparkling when the sunshine passes by. The joy emanating from all the people they love is palpable and genuine. They keep sneaking off to steal kisses, much to Ino’s great annoyance, as her movements are slowed these days with her stomach swollen with child.
Naruto starts a snowball fight in the middle of the ceremony, but they are too taken with one another to care. They join in, instantly teaming together as the two of them single handedly take out the entire wedding party. Naruto and Sasuke take turns finishing the ceremony, making it a chaotic mess of inspiring crying and awkward silence when Ino blurts out for them to “Hurry the fuck up already and kiss dammit!”
Kakashi pulls his mask down and everyone in the room gasps and Sakura smiles knowing this face is the one she is lucky enough to wake up to every morning. Fervently they kiss, whoops and cheers erupting across their wooded alcove, the birds flapping away urgently at the sound.
Her memories are transported back to the moment when she first suggested continuing their charade.
Stop over thinking it. What’s the worst that can happen?
Well the worst thing that can happen is that they would fall in love.