Work Text:
“Anyone else anxious about that election?” Wade says to the room. Logan is sitting on the couch holding Mary Puppins, while Althea is resting on her armchair.
“I already voted early. Nothing else I can do now.” says Al.
“I just wish we were able to, but as it happens, I’m an illegal immigrant from Canada, and Logan’s an illegal immigrant from a different Canada.” Wade says, gesturing to Logan, who just sighs
“Is there something you want us to do about it, Bub?”
“I have several ideas, most of which involve killing!” Wade smiles.
“Wade, we’ve talked about this. You can’t go assassinating former presidents of the United States.” says Logan.
“And lucky for you, I never have.” Wade turns away, mumbling “I fumbled in July.” He turns back to Logan and adds “anyways, I’m not Bucky.”
“Wade” Logan groans.
“Ok fine, no murder. You are super not fun.”
“What if…” starts Logan
“Yes, good show on Disney Plus, keep going.”
Logan ignores that comment. “What if you could convince every republican to vote on the 6th instead of the 5th.”
“Wait, that might just be a good idea.” Wade thinks. “Thank you, Logie Bear.”
“It’s just a thought. I want us to keep a low profile, so no murder.”
“Yes, a low profile. I know exactly how I’m going to go about this.” says Wade.
“What are you thinking? Fake Signs? Fake tweets? Fake Canvassing?”
“Oh, absolutely not.” smirks Wade. “I need this to work 100%, and for that, I need you to come with me.”
Logan rolls his eyes, trying to give the illusion he isn’t totally on board with whatever Wade’s plans are, sets Mary Puppins down, and they both head out the door.
—-----------
“You want me to do what?” says Doctor Strange.
Wade and Logan are standing in the Sanctum Sanctorum.
“I just need you to do a fancy magic spell that gaslights every conservative in the country into thinking the election is on November 6th,” explains Wade.
“I get that, but why would you think I would help you commit a felony of such a degree?”
“Because you love us?” he turns to logan “Logan, give him your sad face”
“I’m not giving him a sad face.” argues Logan.
“Please Please Please with a cherry on top?” Wade’s giving a sad pouting face at him now. “Cmon, match my face Logan.”
Doctor Strange butts in “Nothing you say is going to make me change my decision. It’s a no.”
“But you owe us.” says Wade
“This is our first time meeting. You haven’t done anything for me.” says Stephen.
“We saved your whole universe. Every universe, actually.”
“That is true, I was there with him.” adds Logan
“C’mon, use your little time powers or your favorite piracy site and watch that scene of us holding hands to Madonna,” says Wade.
Stephen sighs and goes into his mind palace to watch what happened. He shifts back to the present.
“You’re telling the truth,” he says.
“Why would you think I wouldn’t.” This earns him stares from both Stephen and Wade.
“Okay, okay. That’s fair,” admits Wade, “but this does mean you owe us, right? Since we technically saved your life?”
“Fine,” Stephen sighs, “but swear not to tell anyone about this.”
“Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye,” sings Wade, doing the gestures.
Logan huffs. “Got it.”
Stephen starts the motions of the spell, making a signature marvel sparkle circle appear. The circle expands, racing through them, through the walls, and outwards like a seismic wave.
“It’s done,” says Strange, “and you two were never here.”
They both nod, thanking him. As they’re about to leave, the door to the Sanctum opens, and in walks Star-Lord
“What’s up guys? Who’s excited to vote on November 6!”