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“I really thought it would be A, but instead it was C! Good thing I changed my answer last minute! Though I still don’t get why it’s C. I’ll just review again next week!”
Bokuto slings his bag over his body, glowing eyes awaiting his best friend’s response to his extensively detailed story of how he made the passing score in one of his exams.
“That’s great, Bokuto-san,” Akaashi says as he slings his own bag on. “You do have good intuition most of the time.”
Intuition?
“Instinct,” Akaashi supplies. Bokuto realizes then that he thought out loud (again).
They’re walking to the gym together to have their usual after class training. Bokuto continues talking about his day, and his classes, and his teachers, and his classmates.
“So, during fourth period, we had this really cool activity where we-”
“E-Excuse me!”
Bokuto would continue talking, if it weren’t for the young boy that stood bent in half, bowing in front of them, a box of chocolates outstretched towards them.
“This is for you,” and Bokuto almost immediately says ‘Gee, thanks!’ as he always does when someone offers him gifts of chocolates and flowers. But the boy straightens up and looks into his best friend’s eyes instead. “Akaashi-san.”
Upon intuition (?), Bokuto looks towards his junior setter who he has liked for a full year now (and who is blithely unaware of this).
Akaashi looks a little surprised, but to someone who doesn’t spend as much time with him or know him as well as Bokuto does, he probably looks like the same, neutral, calm Akaashi.
“Thank you,” Akaashi starts, “but I’m not really-”
“Please accept it!” The boy bows again, even lower. “I-I want you to have it. Please accept it, Akaashi-san.”
Akaashi shrugs just the slightest bit, then takes it.
“Okay then. Thank you.”
Bokuto watches as the boy’s face and ears turn completely red. He tells Akaashi his name and year, something about seeing him play at one of their official matches – Bokuto doesn't pay attention enough to hear all the details. Instead, his thoughts run and for once, his mouth doesn't. In fact, he’s run out of words at the idea of Akaashi being with someone else.
Someone else holding Akaashi, taking him on dates, hugging him, cuddling with him, buying him meals, and kissing him.
It was inevitable, Akaashi is gorgeous, he knows that. However, compared to him, his best friend was more quiet and reserved. He preferred to be on the sidelines rather than on the main stage, the center of attention. So, Bokuto always felt like his crush was this hidden gem, this treasure he wanted no one to know about but also wanted to show off was his.
Except, Akaashi is not his. Not yet, anyway.
Bokuto hasn’t been making moves, because it always seemed like his setter wasn’t interested in dating. Sometimes, he’d ask if there was anyone he liked, or about that girl in his class who always wanted to pair up with him.
Akaashi’s response would always be the same: “I’m not looking to date anyone right now.”
So, Bokuto felt he’d be fine waiting until Akaashi was ready. The last thing he wanted was to make his best friend feel uncomfortable or pressured. He was more than happy being Akaashi’s best friend anyway. He thought his patience would hold out, but now there are more and more people liking Akaashi.
He knew it was only a matter of time before his best friend would have other boys and girls all over him. Akaashi’s now in his second year and he’s blossomed into a beautiful man and a fantastic player, drawing curious eyes on him.
Some weeks pass and every day, Akaashi would get more and more gifts from different people in their school. Bokuto could only watch without a word and let these other people attempt to sweep Akaashi off his feet. Although Akaashi never pays them any mind and makes it clear that he's uninterested, it's so hard for Bokuto to pretend he doesn't care, because he does very much care!
The truth is, he’s scared he’ll lose Akaashi before he even gets the chance to express his feelings. But he’s also scared he’ll totally mess up everything if he tries to show his feelings now.
Continuously stressing over his dilemma pointlessly, Bokuto calls the best person he knows to come to for advice, a real professional.
“Bro.”
“Bro.”
Bokuto clasps Kuroo’s hand and pats his back in a bro-hug.
“Man, thanks for coming. I really need some help. I’m dying, I don’t know what to do!”
“All good, Bo. You called the right person.” Kuroo takes a sip of his coffee, then leans back on his seat. “So, Akaashi, huh?”
Bokuto sighs, then nods helplessly.
Kuroo hums. “Finally gonna confess?”
“No way!” Bokuto dramatically puts his iced coffee down. “That’s scary! What if he runs away in fear or I pee my pants!”
“You’re in high school, not kindergarten,” Kuroo snorts. “I’m sure Akaashi won’t run away and will hear you out, at the very least.”
Bokuto can’t help the incomprehensible sounds of panic that come out of his mouth. “Kuroo, what if he’s not even into guys?”
Kuroo laughs hard, so hard that he throws his head back and claps his hands.
Bokuto frowns. “What?”
“If he’s not gay,” Kuroo crosses his arms on his chest, and playfully scoffs. “Then he would be the gayest straight man I’ve ever met.”
“What?” Bokuto repeats. “I don’t get it. Did he tell you he’s gay?”
Kuroo shakes his head and instead just points at his own temple, like he was some genius. “I just know. Trust me, Bo, you really might have a chance. Just try something.”
Bokuto deflates in the cafe’s couch chair. What am I going to do, written all over his face.
Kuroo can tell he’s at the beginning stages of his emotional mode, so he forwards the topic of the conversation before it gets uncontrollable (only Akaashi can solve Bokuto’s emotional mode once and for all).
“So what’s with the sudden dilemma anyway?” Kuroo asks. “You seemed to be fine the past year with just hiding your feelings.”
“Well, I’ve had enough!” Bokuto lets out a small hmph! and Kuroo fears he’s too late. “Some people are starting to confess to Akaashi. A girl in my class asked me if he’s single! And there’s also this boy,” he says in utter disgust, like he wasn’t a boy himself who liked the same boy, “He’s been trying really hard, geez! He gave Akaashi chocolates like, a couple weeks ago. Then, he bought him onigiri twice this week! Twice!”
Kuroo sighs as he watches Bokuto flail about in his seat, rubbing his hands all over his face and hair. He can tell he’s really frustrated, and Bokuto truly only gets like this because of (1) volleyball, and (2) Akaashi Keiji.
“Ah, I see. But Akaashi’s not showing interest in any of them, right?”
Bokuto nods, but he still looks down.
“Then,” Kuroo starts, and Bokuto looks at him with eyes full of hope. “Try hard too.”
Bokuto kind of wants to snatch the coffee out of his hands.
“Look, you don’t have to like- confess, not yet at least. But you can try to make some subtle moves.”
The ace blinks a few times. “Subtle moves?” He hadn’t thought of that before. He’s always thought it’s either confess your feelings or forever hold your peace.
“Yeah, like…”
Kuroo has a relaxed, nonchalant smile on as Bokuto literally takes notes of small things he can do to show Akaashi that he likes him, without directly confessing or scaring him away. He tells him to try all the five love languages, which Bokuto had written down eagerly on his notebook; see which one might crack Akaashi, pull him in and make him fall for Bokuto. When Kuroo says all these tricks worked on Kenma, Bokuto’s eyes gleam and his grin finds its way back to his face.
“Don’t worry so much, bro. Just don’t panic while doing it, okay?” Kuroo says as they take their leave. He slings an arm over Bokuto’s shoulders and smiles, “Just be chill, it’ll all work out, trust me. You totally got this.”
“Yeah,” Bokuto nods, determination painted on his face. He feels ready to face his feelings for his best friend, to finally express what he’s been hiding and holding back for so long. “I got this.”
————
This is a lot harder than he thought it would be.
Bokuto finds it a real challenge to concentrate in class. Well, he usually does too on other days, but it’s extra difficult today because he’s planning to do his first subtle move on Akaashi later.
The thing is, Bokuto, in his entirety, is not subtle at all. From the outside-in, from head to toe, from mind to heart to soul. He is well-aware of his personality, that he was born like this – loud, intense, passionate, excessive, and bold. Which means it’s even worse when it comes to his crush on Akaashi. He realized this the hard way when Kuroo had asked him what he thinks will get Akaashi’s favor, and his first thought was to make a huge banner and ask him out in front of the entire school.
Kuroo had his head in his hands then.
But now, Bokuto has gotten some new tips and lessons from his bro, so maybe it’ll be better, easier, smoother. Maybe he could do it, flirt with his crush like a ‘cool guy’ as Kuroo had said.
Except, when he finally gets some alone time with Akaashi after training, he doesn’t exactly know how to execute his plan of subtle yet effective flirting.
He knows what to do, it’s literally written on his notebook, but he doesn’t know how he’s going to will his body and mind to obey to the art of subtle flirting, to exert just the right amount of effort, of push and pull, to fight every cell in him that is everything but subtle.
The evening rolls around eventually. They’re packing up their things in the locker rooms, the last ones there as usual since the two of them always clear out the gym after use.
Bokuto steals a quick glance over at Akaashi as the setter neatly folds his dirty clothes into his gym bag.
Okay, Bokuto. You can do this.
“Akaashi,” he clears his throat.
Akaashi looks at him — and Bokuto forgets what he was going to say.
He told Kuroo this problem of his. How he can’t look Akaashi in the eyes because he’s just too damn pretty!
“Then tell him that,” Kuroo had said, mouth stuffed with pastry, “tell him he’s pretty. That’s words of affirmation.”
But it’s easier said than done.
Especially with Akaashi’s gorgeous aqua-blue eyes staring into his soul, his dark locks swaying with the breeze, his perfect lips moving in slow motion, with full background music and lighting effects like he was an angel from heaven — and this is all thanks to Bokuto’s brain, of course.
“Bokuto-san?”
Bokuto snaps back into reality. “Huh?”
Akaashi zips up his bag and hooks it over his shoulder. “What were you going to say?”
Bokuto really wasn’t this down bad before. But now, he’s like this – a sputtering mess, just speechless putty under Akaashi’s gaze and presence. He’s so self-conscious, and it’s only around Akaashi, especially when they’re alone and he wants to do the subtle flirting that Kuroo had taught him to.
He takes a deep breath.
“I just wanted to say that you’re really,” pretty , is what he should have said, but what comes out is, “nice … to look at.” He winces at himself. Bokuto dumbass! What does that even mean?
Akaashi raises an eyebrow at him, and Bokuto quickly tries to remedy the damage he had done, “I-I mean like! You’ve got a nice face, you know? And nice hair! And a nice body, but yeah, I just-” he sinks into himself, face palming his own forehead. “Yeah. I just … thought you should know."
Akaashi gives him a nod, like he understands.
“Thank you, Bokuto-san. You too.” Bokuto takes the hand that’s offered to him, and lets Akaashi pull him up despite the pout on his lips. He’s still a bit sulky from his failed attempt at giving his beautiful setter a single, simple compliment, belatedly realizing that Akaashi is literally holding my hand!
And then the hand on his is gone and Akaashi is walking forward to put his shoes on.
Bokuto stares at his own hand, the warmth from Akaashi’s loose grasp still lingering beneath his skin.
He grins, big and beaming. That’s a good start! Sure, it most certainly isn’t the first time they’ve held hands, but Bokuto is usually the one who initiates it. And something about this one just felt different, even if it was only a second or two. Or maybe it’s because Bokuto’s feelings are just growing uncontrollably every day, to the point that every small interaction with Akaashi becomes emphasized and special to an extent.
Bokuto doesn't dwell on that thought for another moment. He quickly follows after Akaashi, and continues being his normal, talkative self as they walk home.
He doesn’t notice Akaashi smile to himself a little too as they do, fingers fiddling with each other beneath his jacket sleeves.
————
The next step, according to Kuroo, is to do some acts of service.
“Like re-writing his class notes for him. I’m sure Akaashi’s the type to re-write his notes,” Kuroo had said, immediately eating his words when Bokuto responded, “Yeah, he does! But I don’t think that’s a good idea – I don’t write notes for my own classes.”
Kuroo guffawed, “Man, you’re a goner,” because Bokuto said that whilst diligently writing notes for his How to Win Akaashi Keiji’s Heart 101 class.
Kuroo then suggested the next best thing: hold his things for him.
It’s simple, easy, subtle, yet should be effective. So, that’s what Bokuto’s plotting to do. He’s just waiting for the right timing.
They’re having a pre-training snack with the rest of their teammates, and for the first time, Bokuto isn’t focused on his food. Instead, he’s thinking of how he’s going to coolly carry Akaashi’s bag for him.
“Don’t make a big fuss about it, just pick it up before he can. When he protests or questions, just smirk a little and say something like ‘It’s cool, I got it,’” Kuroo the great Master of Flirting had advised. (Bokuto highlighted that in his notes, “just say, ‘I got it’” )
The moment Akaashi stands up, Bokuto leaps from his seat and swiftly takes his best friend’s black gym bag. He hugs it in his arms, watching and waiting for Akaashi to protest.
He’ll say something like, Bokuto-san, you don’t have to, or Bokuto-san, I can carry my own bag, and Bokuto would be ready to reply, all confident and nonchalant, I got it.
Yet, Akaashi just sighs.
“That’s my bag, Bokuto-san.” Then, he points at the other gym bag that’s still on their bench. “That one is yours. You’ve mistaken my bag for it.”
Bokuto immediately backs away when Akaashi tries to reach for his own bag.
“N-No!” he blurts out.
Akaashi’s brows knit together. He plainly repeats, “That’s my bag.”
“I know,” Bokuto says, undeterred, “but just- let me carry it for you!” He quickly reaches for his own gym bag too, slinging both bags over his body so Akaashi can’t take his, and so he looks like a total idiot.
He only realizes it when the rest of their teammates laugh.
“What’s gotten into you, Bokuto?” Komi quips while Konoha knowingly snickers. Bokuto would glare at them, if it wasn’t for the way Akaashi just shrugged and walked away, seemingly unfazed.
“Okay. Thank you, Bokuto-san,” was all he said, before casually waving his hand and making his way to the gym.
That was enough for Bokuto. He smiled (manically), and skipped forward to catch up with his best friend, leaving half their teammates with confused expressions and the other half with smirks.
Training goes extremely well. Bokuto feels like he’s in top shape. He can aim all his spikes precisely and he has more control of the ball even when he’s receiving, serving, and blocking. Akaashi compliments him for it – just the usual You’re in good condition today, Bokuto-san, and Yes, that was incredible, Bokuto-san. Bokuto happily agrees and carries both their bags on their way home too.
————
Step three, Kuroo says, is to do something Akaashi wants to do, and importantly, with just the two of them – quality time.
Besides volleyball? Bokuto had asked Kuroo then, to which the raven-head sighed, Yes, Bokuto, besides volleyball even if I know you two practice outside of team training.
So one day, Bokuto casually tells his best friend, “Let’s hang out this weekend!” It was a proposal he made more often than not, so it felt easy saying it. Akaashi just nodded in agreement, “Sure, Bokuto-san. What do you want to do?”
It’s then that the ace realizes that every time the two of them went out for a fun, leisurely, non-volleyball-related activity, it was always something he wanted to do. Not that Akaashi didn’t want to do it, but his best friend seemed to go along with and enjoy the things Bokuto suggested anyway. Like playing games at the arcade, watching a movie at the theater, or feeding ducks at the park.
It might seem like Bokuto just wanted someone – anyone to do these things with. But in actuality, it meant a lot to him too that he was doing those things with Akaashi. He didn’t even know that before he truly discovered his feelings for his best friend. But now that he has, it’s difficult to ignore the fact that he has always wanted to have Akaashi by his side in everything he does.
“I don’t know, I can’t think of anything,” Bokuto shrugs, hoping the setter believes it. “Is there something you want to do, Akaash?”
Bokuto can see the gears in Akaashi’s brain moving as he thinks, just for a couple of moments.
“How about,” Akaashi begins, and Bokuto nods eagerly to signal he is listening.
“The library?”
“The library?” Bokuto repeats in a sing-song, internally chastising himself for sounding so surprised.
“Yes. I’ve been wanting to go to the big public library in the city center for a while now, but I don’t really have anyone to go with.”
“Aw, ‘Kaashi! You should have asked me, I’d come with you!”
“But, you don’t like reading,” the vice captain deadpans.
“Yeah, but I-” like you, he almost says, catching himself right on the dot. “It’s okay, let’s go! They have manga and stuff too, right?”
Akaashi’s eyes seem to sparkle. A soft smile makes its way to his face. Bokuto could stare at him for hours.
“Yes, they do.”
The ace fills with excitement. He anticipates Saturday for the rest of the week, planning out his outfit, their train route, and other places they can go nearby in case they get bored or want to have a meal after.
Saturday comes. He and Akaashi take the train after morning practice to the city center. It’s less cramped than usual, but they still choose to stand in their usual spot, close to the doors, so they can look at the sights outside the windows. They grab a quick snack and coffee too before going into the library (Bokuto looked up the cafe!)
When they make it to the library, it’s just beginning to get busy. The building is huge, with modern architecture, several floors, tables and chairs, and of course, thousands– maybe even millions of books.
Even Bokuto catches himself in awe of the place.
When he turns to his best friend, his expression is nothing short of unadulterated, overflowing joy. Perhaps Akaashi will spend the rest of the day simply staring at the vast array of literature, and perhaps Bokuto will spend it simply staring at him.
They sift through shelf upon shelf, section upon section. The setter seems to pick up and read something at every other section, a small smile on his lips never fading as his eyes run through the pages, and his enthusiasm only growing as hours pass.
Bokuto tries to read a book or two, but he’s unable to fully focus on anything besides Akaashi. The way he hums quietly when he reads a line he likes, the way his fingers delicately flip the pages, the way he leans on the shelves when he gets invested in a certain piece.
Bokuto dares not speak a word, dares not make a single sound that could snap his best friend out of his reverie, out of the pure bliss he is in.
At some point, Akaashi sits cross-legged on the carpeted floors between the shelves, nose deep in the book in his hands. Bokuto sits down across from him as silently as possible, hugging his knees. His sneaker-covered feet touch Akaashi’s shin a little, but the younger doesn’t seem to mind.
He gazes at Akaashi intently. That only lasts a full minute, before the setter is questioningly looking up from behind his book.
Bokuto scrambles to grab a random book on the shelf next to him. He immediately pretends to read it, a good way to hide his warm cheeks behind the pages too.
He doesn’t see, but Akaashi smiles a little before returning to his own book.
Bokuto doesn’t know how many hours they’ve been there when he realizes he’s dozed off. He barely registers the shoulder his temple is pressed against, the warm fabric on his cheek, the thigh next to his own.
When he looks up, he realizes he’s leaned on Akaashi, and taken a glorious nap on his shoulder. How could he fall asleep when he was supposed to be spending some quality time with his crush!
Then, it also hits him that earlier, Akaashi was sitting across from him. Meaning Akaashi switched sides so he could lay his head on his shoulder and sleep comfortably.
Well, it could be wishful thinking, but Bokuto savors this moment anyway. This is not out of the ordinary, the vice-captain has let him sleep on his shoulder multiple times, especially on bus rides home from away games. Yet, Bokuto lets his heart float as he leans a little closer to Akaashi.
“You’re awake.” The setter has always been quick to notice his every move. Akaashi turns another crisp page, then glances down at him. “Do you want to go?”
Bokuto shakes his head. He wants to stay like this for as long as possible. “What time is it?”
“5:30 in the evening.”
“What!?” Bokuto snaps straight up. He’s instantly shushed by his best friend. “Sorry,” he whispers this time. “We’ve been here the whole afternoon?”
“Yes.” Akaashi puts his book down. “We can go, if you want. We can have dinner somewhere in the area, or close to home.”
The captain frowns when Akaashi places his book back into its spot in the shelf. “But, aren’t you still reading that book?”
“It’s alright, we can come back next time.” Bokuto beams at the thought of a next time.
They have dinner at one of the restaurants from Bokuto’s list of places to go to in the area, then ride the train back home to their neighborhood.
A few days later, Bokuto accompanies Akaashi back to the library. He picks up the same book, finishes it, then grabs a few more. This time, Bokuto falls asleep on Akaashi’s lap. Akaashi gently strokes his silver hair every couple of pages.
————
When Kuroo had told him that one of the five love languages was physical touch, Bokuto was quick to say, “That’s easy! We touch each other all the time!”
Though he earned a few weird looks from other people at the cafe, from Kuroo, he earned a counterargument.
“Unfortunately, you’ve got it wrong, bro,” he sighed, shaking his head. “That’s exactly why this will be difficult. You need to get close to him in ways you’re both not used to, so it doesn’t come off as just usual, bro-to-bro affection.”
Bokuto thought long and hard about what he could do. Obviously, kissing Akaashi directly was not an option; quite unsubtle, yes. But it’s as if he’s done almost everything else with Akaashi.
They hug, they cuddle, they lean on each other. He often puts his arm around Akaashi’s shoulders, holds his hand when they’re walking through crowded places, even loops their arms when it’s cold or when Bokuto just feels like doing it. He just naturally gravitates towards Akaashi, never really knowing how to hold back, never really feeling like he had to – never with Akaashi, at least.
“Try putting your arm around him,” Kuroo advised.
“I already do that!” Bokuto had a big frown on his face.
“Then, do it more consciously. Make it so it’s not an I-love-my-bro-no-homo kind of thing.”
Bokuto watches a few romance movies just to get what Kuroo meant by that.
The following week, he’s sitting next to Akaashi in the movie theater, with the rest of their teammates around them. Bokuto figures now is the perfect time to try putting his arm around Akaashi in the I-love-you-like-I-actually-love-you-and-would-do-anything-for-you way. Because that will totally translate in his single, conscious, effortful action, right?
Bokuto discreetly glances at his setter.
Akaashi is focused on the movie. His fingers pick up one popcorn kernel at a time, then plop it into his mouth. He chews quietly, with his mouth closed, then swallows. His eyelashes flutter when the screen goes bright, the shadows of his face emphasized by the faint glow on his skin.
He’s so pretty.
Bokuto turns away before he gets caught.
It’s time to execute his plan.
He pretends to yawn, stretching his arm high over his head. Then, when he puts it down, he lands his arm perfectly on Akaashi’s shoulder. (He also decides to ignore the sound of some of his teammates snorting at the back and side).
However, the vice captain doesn’t seem affected or surprised at all. He just continues watching, never even averts his eyes away from the big screen.
Bokuto, on the other hand, can feel his heart racing. He looks straight at the screen too, whole body stiff as he holds his breath. He does this all the time, this is a completely normal thing for them, but he thinks he finally gets what Kuroo meant by doing it ‘consciously.’
Just then, he can hear Kuroo’s voice ring in his head.
Then, try hard too.
Right. That same boy had come up to Akaashi today and given him a pack of cookies. Although Akaashi tried turning him down (again), the boy is persistent.
Bokuto must try harder!
Think, Bokuto! What can I do to get Akaashi’s heart? But without scaring him away too!
Unsurely, Bokuto tries bringing his hand just a tad lower, so he can give a small squeeze to Akaashi’s arm. Akaashi turns to him then, asking ‘What?’ with his eyes.
Bokuto just smiles at him nervously and shakes his head, ‘Nothing.’
That smile dissolves when Akaashi just continues watching the movie right after, completely unimpressed and unaffected.
The movie ends some minutes later. The lights come on, people begin standing up to leave, and Bokuto is still in distress, because none of the things he’s trying seem to send the message he wants. He’s gotta do something, anything!
The rest of the night, Bokuto barely gets a chance to get close to Akaashi again. Since they’re with their teammates, they’re all rowdy as usual and Bokuto just can’t find the right timing to slide past them to be next to his best friend.
So, once Bokuto catches just a very quick glimpse of the I want to go home look on Akaashi’s face while they’re having dessert, he doesn’t let the opportunity pass.
“Guys, I think I’m gonna go. Still gotta finish some homework!” Bokuto ignores the series of protests and accusations that that’s a load of bullshit, captain . He feels too giddy to care.
Turning his eyes towards his best friend, he asks softly, “Wanna go together?” As expected, Akaashi gives a nod, then they say their goodbyes to their friends.
The train is full when they step on. They manage to squeeze their way into the middle, and just hold on to the handles hanging from the ceiling.
“What’d you think of the movie, ‘Kaashi?”
Konoha had picked the film. It was a new sci-fi action movie with robots and laser beams and all that.
Akaashi is looking at the buildings outside the window, like always. “It was good. The lead actor seems very talented.”
Bokuto nods in agreement. “Right, right! He looked super cool, and the effects were great too! I really liked that one robot guy- woah !”
Bokuto inhales sharply. Partly because the train made a swift turn, and everyone standing tumbled one or two steps. But mostly because the sudden movement has Akaashi’s chest pressed against his and Akaashi’s hand gripping his upper arm. Bokuto’s palm is firm on his best friend’s lower back, naturally placed there in response to the whole thing.
A spark of electricity snaps through Bokuto’s body when he meets Akaashi’s teal eyes. Their noses almost touch when the train makes another swift movement.
Akaashi turns away quickly. “Sorry,” he mumbles, cheeks rosy.
The hand on Bokuto’s arm begins to loosen when the train halts at a station. Some people move to get off the train, pushing them around slightly.
When he sees just the slightest hint of discomfort on Akaashi’s face, something surges through Bokuto.
His touch on Akaashi’s back becomes a little firmer, pulling him closer when more people push past them. “You should lean on me, Akaashi,” he insists. “We have a few more stops to go.” Somehow his tone drips both of sweet, soft concern and steel determination.
Akaashi just nods. He doesn’t speak, doesn’t look him in the eye. But gradually, the hand on Bokuto’s arm returns. He feels Akaashi lean a bit of his weight on his torso.
Eventually, some stops later, Akaashi’s cheek ends up resting just below his shoulder. This probably feels extremely normal to Akaashi, like the way they lean on each other when they’re sleeping on the bus or taking a break from intense practice. But Bokuto can hear his own breath and pulse in his ears. He can’t help the enamored look on his face when he feels Akaashi shift to make himself more comfortable. Can’t help but smile when Akaashi inches his feet just a bit closer to Bokuto’s. Can’t help but kiss his hair – for no reason at all.
He just wants to. Just feels like doing it.
When they reach their station, Bokuto is quick to shift his hold from Akaashi’s back, to his hand. He doesn’t know where he gets his confidence – in fact, he doesn’t think it’s confidence that’s bringing him to do this. He intertwines their fingers tightly, and leads them through the sea of people to the train doors.
They walk the rest of the way home holding hands. They’ve held hands like this a few times before, usually in a crowd or when running late to training, but to Bokuto, it feels like the first time.
Bokuto is so incredibly nervous, to the point he actually forgets to breathe for a minute or two, until he just feels his chest start to hurt. It’s overwhelming – all the thoughts, sensations, and emotions simultaneously rushing through him.
He can feel the blood heating up his face, can feel the drum of his heart against his ribcage, can hear the silence between them instead of their usual chatter on the way home. He can feel – fully feel Akaashi’s hands. Every little groove, callous, scar and crease.
He wonders if it’s the same for Akaashi.
No matter how hard he tries, Bokuto feels himself draw closer and closer towards Akaashi, like an apple falling to the ground, helpless to the pull of gravity, a mere slave to his heart. He wants Akaashi’s attention, craves for his affection. He desires to see and touch and appreciate and love Akaashi.
His gaze lingers on him. On his pretty eyelashes and pretty blue eyes and pretty cheeks and pretty nose and pretty eyebrows and pretty lips. He catches himself in the act and directs his eyes elsewhere, just before Akaashi steals a glance at him too.
When they reach Akaashi’s home, Bokuto gives his usual, “Night night, Akaashi! See you tomorrow!”
Akaashi’s eyes meet his, and Bokuto is lost again.
“Good night, Bokuto-san. Thank you for today.”
Bokuto knows it’s nothing extraordinary, but his heart swells with satisfaction and joy. The moment he lays in his bedroom, he happily kicks his feet in the air and hugs his pillows tightly.
————
Finally, the last love language: Gifts.
“It doesn’t have to be huge or expensive,” Kuroo had told him. “It just has to be meaningful – maybe something Akaashi really likes or has been interested in buying. Or something that’s related to anything you share or you’ve done together.”
Bokuto thinks hard about what Akaashi would like to receive as a gift. Generally, he knows Akaashi likes reading, playing volleyball, and eating.
But all those things, Akaashi can do himself. He can go to the library to read or borrow books, he can play volleyball with his team or at home everyday, he can eat the food they serve at school or buy a meal at a restaurant.
Bokuto figures what needs to do is to put in more effort to make his gift more special.
Volleyball is out of the picture because he truthfully doesn’t have enough savings to buy Akaashi new volleyball shoes or special equipment – as much as he’d want to. As for food, he figured he could cook something for Akaashi, but that option is crossed out too when he sets off the fire alarm in their home, much to his sisters’ chagrin.
So, he’s left with his best option: a book.
Bokuto goes to the bookstore in the city center for the first time. He scans the shelves thoroughly, and stops when he sees the name of the author he knows Akaashi really likes. He recognizes one of the covers, it’s the book Akaashi picked up the first time they went to the library.
But when he takes a better look at it, he frowns. It’s not that it’s too cheap or too pricey, but it’s just that it’s right there. Anyone could buy this for Akaashi, heck he could buy it for himself if he really wanted to. He rubs his chin in dilemma, just standing staring at the book for a couple minutes.
“That’s a great choice.” Bokuto is only slightly startled by the voice of a staff lady that approaches him. He’s more consumed by his inner turmoil, than his surroundings (like the three people that have squeezed past him in the tight space between the shelves).
“Yes, it is, but …” Bokuto’s brows furrow, lips turning downward even more. “It’s for a special friend. I want to make it a special gift too.”
The staff smiles, seemingly understanding of what he’s feeling. “Why don’t you come with me, young man? I think I can help you.”
After some time, Bokuto’s gift for Akaashi is finally ready. The past weeks, he’s been consistently trying to express his feelings (subtly, of course) towards Akaashi through the love languages.
He’d give him compliments (apart from “Nice toss, Akaash! ” and “ You’re nice to look at”), reassure him when he’d be feeling down because of mistakes he made during practice.
He’d carry his bag for him, tie his shoelaces for him, even wipe the sweat on his back and neck for him. He’d help zip up his jacket, highlight his notes, and throw his trash during lunch break.
He’d accompany him to the library (he tries not to fall asleep anymore!), bookstore, park, and anywhere else that Akaashi had wanted to go. Sometimes Akaashi would talk about the book he was reading, and Bokuto would happily listen.
He’d lace their hands together more often as they walk home, guide Akaashi’s head on his shoulder when he’s falling asleep on the train or on the bus, and pat his hair down carefully when it gets roughed up by the wind.
And finally, he holds his precious gift in both hands. Their school day has just ended, and he’s walking over to Akaashi’s classroom, with the same excitement in his heart he has always had ever since he knew he had met his best friend.
As he waits outside for Akaashi to pack his bag, he stares down at the gift. He wrapped it up in brown craft paper with the help of his sisters, and added a small heart sticker in the center. The paper crunches a little as his fingers grasp it tightly, feeling both ecstatic and terrified.
“Hello, Bokuto-san.”
“Hi, Akaashi! I uhm-” Bokuto pushes his gift into Akaashi’s hands. “This is for you.”
Akaashi tilts his head, clearly confused. Bokuto now understands all those people who seemed to feel so embarrassed giving the setter gifts.
“Bokuto-san, it’s not my birthday yet. I’m born on-”
“December 5, I know that!” Bokuto blurts out. He rubs the back of his neck regretfully. “I-I mean, I know , but- I just wanted to give it to you anyway!”
“Oh.” Akaashi stares at the package in his hands. “Thank you, Bokuto-san.”
“Open it later,” Bokuto requests. Then, softly, “When … we’re alone.”
They go to practice after, and if Bokuto seems to perform more aggressively than usual, with fiery drive and ambition in his eyes every time he calls for a toss, as if eager to impress and determined to prove himself as the star he truly is – Akaashi doesn’t speak a word about it.
Akaashi only watches closely, intently, and waits. Waits until it’s just the two of them in the gym, closing up as usual. Waits until they’re walking home, making casual conversation. Waits until they’re at his doorstep – because Bokuto has walked him home every day for almost three months straight. Waits until they’re facing one another, little pieces of unsaid thoughts passing in the gaze they exchange.
“Well, I’ll see you tomorrow then, Akaashi! Night night-”
“Bokuto-san, wait.” Bokuto gulps at the hand wrapping around his wrist.
Akaashi loosens his grasp to retrieve the brown paper present in his bag. “I’ll open it now. Your gift, I mean.”
The captain nods, “Right, okay,” nervous to say anything else.
Akaashi is careful in the way he unwraps the gift. He makes only one necessary tear, and also saves the heart sticker on the back of his hand.
The wrapping falls to the ground with a gentle thud when he sees the contents.
It’s a book. His favorite one from his favorite author. That’s enough to make his eyes widen, but it's what he sees on the sides of the pages that make him gasp audibly.
There are tiny colorful rectangles – sticky note labels – throughout the entire book. There are underlines, circles, thoughts and comments written in penmanship he knows all too well.
“Bokuto-san, you-”
Bokuto had not just gifted him his favorite author’s book. Bokuto had read it, all of it, and annotated it diligently and neatly.
Bokuto who barely even reads his own textbooks and only ever reads volleyball books. Bokuto who doesn’t take notes in class (except Kuroo’s master class), and only uses one notebook for the entire school year.
“I-I know you might not care what I think, but I tried my best! I figured there’d be no point in gifting you just the book alone, ya know? Like you could just buy that yourself or borrow it from the library! Does that make sense? Maybe not. I-I don’t really know,” Bokuto tips his weight between his heels and toes, eyes on the concrete of the street. He can hear his breath in his ears, the heat down his neck, the sweat on his palms. “I just … wanted to give you something special."
Akaashi’s attention still appears to be stuck on the book.
“Oh! You should flip to the first page too,” Bokuto says, a little more proudly. “That part I’m sure you’ll like!”
Akaashi does as told and turns to the first page. He questions if this is all a dream.
To Akaashi Keiji.
It’s signed by the author.
“This is-” Akaashi doesn’t know what to say. No, he has too much to say and he doesn’t know where to start.
“D-Do you like it?” He looks up and meets Bokuto’s hopeful eyes. All he can do is hug him.
Bokuto hugs back in just a moment, chuckles falling from his lips. “I guess that’s a yes?”
Akaashi nods vigorously. Bokuto feels him hug a little tighter, so he wraps one arm around his middle and cups the back of his head with his other hand.
They don’t speak any words, the smiles on their faces saying, screaming more than enough.
Akaashi invites him in for dinner. His parents enjoy Bokuto’s presence, as always.
When Akaashi questioned why Bokuto had given him a gift; what’s the occasion, he had asked; Bokuto simply smiled and said he just wanted to; you deserve nice things even when it’s not your birthday.
When Bokuto takes his leave for the night, standing by the gate of their home, he squeezes Akaashi’s hands. Akaashi, in return, grins soft and pretty. He looks angelic under the moonlight, cheeks cherry blossom-pink and eyelashes fluttering as he gazes at Bokuto.
"Thank you again, Bokuto-san. I genuinely appreciate you for doing all this. You didn't have to."
“You're welcome, Akaashi! And don't worry, I wanted to do it too! I really, really wanted to give you something meaningful, because you know- well ... because you mean a lot to me.”
At this point, Bokuto’s aware his feelings are probably stamped on his face, heart worn brightly on his sleeve. But he doesn’t have the time to remember that he should be subtle, not when Akaashi is leaning up just the slightest bit to press a kiss to his cheek.
Bokuto blinks once. Twice. Just one more time.
Akaashi giggles, and then runs back inside.
“Good night, Bokuto-san. See you tomorrow.”
————
The day has finally come.
The day that Bokuto has decided to confess.
Bokuto is fidgety all day, and Akaashi can tell. Actually, everyone can tell.
He jumps at every question asked to him, can’t concentrate in any of his classes, and doesn’t even have an appetite. Originally, Bokuto was supposed to confess and ask Akaashi out when they got to Akaashi’s house after training, so it would just be the two of them, because gotta keep it subtle, bro .
But now, there’s just half an hour before training, and Bokuto can’t take it anymore. He won’t be able to do cross-shots and line shots and a jump serve at this rate! He might not even be able to hit the ball being set to him because he’s distracted, and worried, and nervous, and absolutely, exceedingly, heart-shatteringly terrified.
So, right before they change into their training clothes, Bokuto drags Akaashi across the building. He doesn’t look back once, and only stops when he spots an empty hallway.
“Bokuto-san, why are we here? Training starts in 28 minutes.”
Bokuto catches his breath for just a moment. “I know, I know,” he says between exhales, “but just- this will only take a minute. Please?”
The setter nods.
Bokuto looks into Akaashi’s eyes, that are intently staring back into his, and takes his hands. He gathers all the courage in his body, and finally, he says,
“I’ve wanted to tell you this for a long time, like a whole year now, but I’ve just been super scared and nervous, but now I felt like we’ve gotten even closer in the past months – which is crazy because we’re already best friends, but anyway! What I mean to say is, we’re here now, and I really can’t hold it back anymore — Akaashi, I really, really, really like you.”
Bokuto says it with all his chest. Cool, subtle guy persona be damned. He waits, with bated breath, and watches as a flush of pink blooms on his best friend’s cheeks.
Akaashi breaks eye contact. “I know.”
Bokuto’s brain stops working for a moment.
Oh, maybe Akaashi doesn’t get it.
“I like you more than a best friend,” he explains, voice giving away his every affection and intention. “I-I want to be with you, Akaashi. Like, all the time. I mean we are together all the time, but just- I like you so, so much Akaashi. Like, I-I want to go on dates with you, and hold your hand when we walk, and carry your things for you, and take care of you, and do all the silly, romantic stuff with you — that type of like .”
Again, to his horror, Akaashi says, “I know.”
“What?” Bokuto shrieks. “You know ?”
“I’ve known for a while now.” A soft smile forms on Akaashi’s lips. “You’re not exactly subtle, Bokuto-san.”
In contrast, the ends of Bokuto’s mouth curve down. If he was a puppy, his ears would be folded downwards too.
“Oh.” He had tried so hard too to be subtle, even took notes and studied them! “I’m sorry...”
“No, I ... I like that about you, Bokuto-san.” Bokuto snaps back to life, and his round eyes eagerly await Akaashi to continue. “You’re bold, and passionate, and very, very unsubtle – in the best way. I like you for it, Bokuto-san. I like you for you.”
“Oh!” Bokuto repeats, in a totally different tone. And then, Akaashi’s words sink in, and process in his mind.
I like you for it. I like you for you.
“Wait.” His hands hold the setter’s tighter. “Akaashi, you … like me too?”
“Yes, I do, Bokuto-san.” Akaashi doesn’t even hesitate. His shy smile is endearingly beautiful. “I like you very much.”
“R-Really?”
“Really.”
Bokuto can’t believe what he’s hearing, can't believe this is happening. Can’t believe that Akaashi likes him. He has confirm it just one more time, he has to be one hundred and one percent sure that this is real and that Akaashi likes him in the way that Bokuto likes him.
“Then, does that mean — you’ll go out with me? Like, on a date? As more than best friends?”
Akaashi laughs, the kind that sounds like you couldn’t hold it back even if you wanted to. His hands smoothly come up to Bokuto’s shoulders, their bodies now mere inches apart.
“Yes.”
Bokuto, until the end, really isn’t made for subtle.
“Akaashi, can I kiss you?”
And Akaashi likes him just as he is.
“Yes.”
Their lips meet in a gentle press, sweet innocence pounding in their chests, movements slow and careful and cautious, minds filled with nothing but that child-like want that persists even through maturity.
Through years of knowing, and growing, and wanting.
Through being.
Through loving.
When they pull away, Akaashi leans their foreheads together with a grin he can’t bite down. Bokuto doesn’t resist the laugh that comes out of him either. He feels like he’s flying.
They walk back to practice later, hands intertwined and swinging between them.
“Was it the book that did it? Or maybe the bag? Ooh, or was it the train move? You liked that, didn’t you, Akaashi!”
“You’re wrong. Well, no- yes, I did like those Bokuto-san. Very much. But I’ve had a crush on you since I was a first year. It started when you first asked me to set for you after training, actually.”
“What!? The day we met? Aw, Akaashi, you’re kidding me! I can’t believe you’ve liked me for longer! You beat me! Though just by a week but still!"
“Bokuto-san, it’s really not a competition.”
“But still! Oh my goodness, I should’ve confessed to you like- months ago!”
“It’s okay, I didn’t mind waiting. I enjoyed watching you try your best.”
“Akaashi! That’s embarrassing! How could you do this to me!”
“Ha ha ha ha. I found it rather sweet, Bokuto-san.”