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The hot neighbor is mowing his lawn again.
The living room window gives Jisung the perfect view. Every three days at precisely four in the afternoon, the hot neighbor puts on a show, and Jisung is an avid fan. It has become somewhat of a tradition in the past month since he moved in. It is to him what Nascar is to old white men.
As always, Jisung sits his ass on the couch and watches.
“Quit dry humping the throw pillows every time our neighbor mows the lawn.” Seungmin appears out of nowhere. He leans up against the wall and chews on a Slim Jim. “I got those from Homegoods. They were expensive.”
Jisung finds himself in a compromising position.
He is in fact dry humping the Homegoods throw pillows. It is Jisung’s favorite time of the day. Not even Seungmin can harsh his vibe.
“Don’t you have something better to do than stand around and be an asshole?” Jisung manages to reply. His hips kick involuntarily when the neighbor wipes the sweat from his brow.
Jisung is down so bad.
“Not really.” Seungmin shrugs. “I have a lot of free time thanks to my English degree.”
He points to the framed piece of paper that is hung above the fireplace. Jisung had told Seungmin that English was a useless major many times when they were in college. Now he stands around and is an asshole all day. Jisung is always right.
“Do you think I could pull him?” Jisung wonders out loud. He thinks he probably could. He’s been watching him for weeks now. He knows what makes him tick.
Like, he knows the neighbor likes anime because he saw him walk out with a faded Naruto t-shirt the other day. Jisung fucking loves Naruto. And he knows that the neighbor has a cat and prefers iced coffee and hates mosquitos. He’s pretty much an expert.
Seungmin snorts. “No.”
“Why not?” Jisung pouts.
“Most people aren’t into being creeped on by a pervert.”
“It’s not my fault that we have a perfect view of his front lawn from here. He’s right there!” Jisung gestures wildly toward the window. The neighbor is only in a tank top now. Jisung physically shivers. “What am I supposed to do? Not look?”
“Yes, exactly.”
“Fuck.” Jisung watches with a frown as the neighbor packs up the lawn mower and goes inside. Just when the show was getting good! Somehow this is Seungmin’s fault, Jisung is sure of it. Coming in here and fucking things up with his negitive energy. Bastard.
Jisung mourns the loss of the view with a strangled whine.
All that he is left with now is a weird boner and Kim fucking Seungmin.
-
One week later, Jisung lets the hot neighbors cat into the house by accident. He accidentally left a handful of Meow Mix by the window and he accidentally picked it up and carried it inside.
It all happened very fast.
“I don’t think that belongs to you.” Seungmin says as he hits his weed pen.
Jisung frowns at the judgment. Seungmin owns a pair of Huf socks and is sleeping with the landlord. He has no right to judge. “I’m just borrowing it.”
“Borrowing without asking is stealing.”
“I’m going to give it back.” Jisung looks down at the cat who blinks back at him. “Probably.”
Seungmin crosses his arms. “I’m telling the landlord.”
It’s an empty threat really. Changbin probably wouldn’t even care very much, Jisung thinks. He never really cares about anything other than going to the gym and tapping Seungmin’s ass every two business days. Which, ew, gross.
“Fine, I’ll put it back.” Jisung sighs heavily. Seungmin always foils his plans. “You’re no fun.”
-
“Seungmin.” Jisung can sense his presence lingering behind him in his bedroom. Seungmin is sort of like the boogeyman in that way. Always lingering. “Give me your wallet.”
“No.” Seungmin responds while he hovers. He messes around with a Rubik’s Cube. Jisung didn't even know they owned one of those. “You didn’t pay your half of rent last month because you spent it all on your gacha game addiction. I’m not going to enable you.”
“I’m in a twelve step program.” Jisung reaches his arm back without removing his eyes from the computer screen. He wiggles his fingers. “I just really need a fix, man. Wallet.”
Seungmin leans over and spits into Jisung’s open palm.
Jisung wipes it on his pants and pouts. “Come on, please? Can you at least feed my fish for me while I play then?”
“You are a special breed of stupid.” Seungmin comments while he paces back and forth for no reason at all. Still working on the Rubik’s Cube. Lingering. “Scientists should study you. Maybe they can make a breakthrough.”
Jisung doesn’t pay his comment any mind.
He is too busy farming mats in Genshin and thinking about the robe that the neighbor was wearing today when he stepped out to collect his mail. It was pink and he had on these stupid cat slippers and the Naruto shirt that Jisung loves so much. There is drool pooling at the corners of his mouth.
“Fuck, I just need 800 more Primogems.”
-
The hot neighbor must really have a passion for lawn care.
Jisung has been spending a lot more time in the living room since he’s noticed.
He’s been mowing and gardening and generally loitering in his front yard nearly every day. The summer heat has been getting more intense and Jisung swears the neighbor’s shorts are getting shorter each time.
Those thighs are something that men would start wars over. At least Jisung would. He would burn the whole neighborhood down for them. Keep him away from gasoline.
“You have a problem.” Seungmin comments from the kitchen. He doesn’t even have to be looking at Jisung to know that his tongue is hanging from his mouth.
“No I don’t.” Jisung grumbles.
The neighbor has sweat dripping down his bare arms and dirt on his hands and Jisung wants to do nasty, filthy things with him. He promised Seungmin he wouldn’t defile the Homegoods pillows anymore. He just openly palms at himself instead.
Whatever, Seungmin can deal. He’s seen worse.
It’s like the neighbor knows he’s putting on a show just for Jisung. He bends over, he squats, he sweats. He uses his shirt to wipe his forehead. His shorts definitely get shorter and his tank top is clinging to his muscles in a way that has Jisung wishing he was the fabric. He’s openly panting.
“You’re disgusting.” Seungmin tuts as he falls onto the couch and turns on the television. “I thought the whole hentai thing last year was bad, but this is so much worse.”
Jisung ignores him. The hentai was a phase, the hot neighbor is not. There is no comparison.
The show doesn’t last too much longer much to Jisung’s disappointment.
When the neighbor starts to head back inside, he turns his head over his shoulder and throws Jisung the smallest wink. Their eyes literally connect through the living room window. Jisung almost passes the fuck out. His dick is so hard it hurts.
“He winked at me.” He gawks, eyes wide. He turns to his roommate and shakes his arm frantically. “Seungmin, he just fucking winked at me. He wants me so bad. Ohmygod.”
“Oh. Oh no.” Seungmin presses the back of his hand to Jisung’s forehead like he may have a fever. He probably does. “I fear I have lost you completely to your delusions. How many fingers am I holding up?”
Seungmin sticks up his middle finger.
Jisung swats at it. He won’t let Seungmin gaslight him. “No really, I swear!”
“I say this because I sort of like you sometimes.” Seungmin says. “Get help, Jisung.”
Jisung sinks into the couch with defeat and tries to pay attention to the episode of The Big Bang Theory that Seungmin put on the television.
He hates The Big Bang Theory and he hates Kim Seungmin.
Fuuuuuck.
-
“The turn of the millennia called, they want their pants back.”
Jisung and Felix are in his room getting ready to go out.
He just spent the last twenty minutes watching Felix use kitchen scissors to trim the edges of his hair. He doesn’t have the heart to tell him it kind of looks like shit.
“For your information, low rise jeans are making a comeback. Y2K is, like, cool again or whatever.” Felix pops his hip and studies himself in the mirror. “Plus they make my ass look tight.”
Jisung shrugs. He’s not wrong. “Fair enough.”
“Tight ass, Felix.” Seungmin comments when he walks in a few minutes later.
He’s dressed like a cartoon character per usual. He wears the same polo and khakis everyday despite hardly ever leaving the house. He looks like he should work at a dodgy tech startup or something.
Jisung looked in his closet once out of curiosity. He discovered that Seungmin owns twelve pairs of the same outfit and one pair of Family Guy pajamas. And those fuck ass Huf socks.
“Thanks, I know!” Felix beams.
Seungmin drops himself onto Jisung’s bed. Great, now Jisung is going to have to change the sheets later. He thinks he is allergic to Seungmin. Seriously. Every night after he has been on his bed, Jisung breaks out into an inexplicable sneezing fit.
“You look like an idiot, Seungmin.” Jisung says with a straight face.
He tells Seungmin as much every day. It never gets a response and today is no different. He just hits his weed pen and stares at the ceiling.
Felix clasps his hands together and grins. “Are you guys ready to get totally blasted tonight?”
“We’re going to Applebee’s.” Seungmin deadpans.
They go to Applebee’s every Friday night because Felix wants the Australian-Korean server to bend him over and bang him in the bathroom. He calls it manifesting.
The apps are always on the house, so Jisung never minds tagging along. He really likes the mozzarella sticks. Seungmin comes because he feels left out if he doesn’t. He would never admit it out loud, but Jisung knows.
Hyunjin and Jeongin join them sometimes, too. Though they usually leave halfway through the meal to go make out in the parking lot.
They aren’t coming tonight because they have some gay art show to go to. Boo.
More mozzarella sticks for Jisung then.
-
“Are you talking about the moon landing again?” Felix asks as he slides into the booth with an armful of margaritas. They are only a dollar for a limited time so they take full advantage while they can.
Jisung is lucky that they water them down a considerable amount.
One time he took three sips of soju and threw up in Hyunjin’s birdbath. He sang showtunes for the rest of the night and passed out in a rose bush. They don’t talk about it.
“Stop calling the fact that I got my dick sucked by the landlord the moon landing.” Seungmin rolls his eyes. “It was real, and so was the moon landing, asshole.”
“I can confirm. I walked in on them once.” Jisung shudders at the memory like a war flashback. It may as well be. “I really wish you would stop bringing it up.”
Seungmin pulls the cheese from a mozzarella stick. It stretches for about seven inches until it breaks. “Not my fault the landlord knows how to–”
“Stop.” Jisung begs. “Please.”
Felix doles out the glasses and taps his fingers on the table. He is especially fidgety since the server told him he liked his outfit. His stupid low rise jeans and his stupid tight ass. Jisung can’t believe it worked.
“Chris!” Felix beckons the server back over with a saccharine smile. He comes running like a fucking dog. Felix already has him wrapped around his finger. “Another round of margs, pretty please.”
“Of course! Coming right up.” Chris gives a small wink before scampering away.
Felix looks like the cat that got the cream, entirely too pleased with himself. Whore. They are most definitely going to bang in the bathroom later. Jisung feels bad for whichever poor soul will have to scrub it clean.
Applebee’s employees most certainly do not get paid enough for that.
Out of the corner of his eye, something then catches Jisung’s attention. Or rather someone.
“Wait, fuck, holy shit. Twelve o’clock. Over there.” Jisung whispers like a secret operative with his hand cupped over his mouth. He nods his head in the direction of the front entrance of the Applebee’s and tries to look inconspicuous. “The hot neighbor is here. By himself.”
“Who?” Felix turns his head and searches the restaurant until his eyes land on the target. He breaks out into a toothy grin. “Oh, you mean Minho?”
“Minho?” Wait, what? Jisung blinks at him, dumbfounded and completely betrayed. How dare Felix withhold this information from him. He thought they were friends! “You– you know our hot neighbor?”
“Yeah, he’s in my book club. Weird dude. He suggested Warrior Cats for our next read.” Felix plasters on a fake smile and raises his arms above his head. He waves them around without a care in the world and shouts over whatever Black Eyed Peas song is playing through the speakers on the walls. “Hey, Minho!”
The hot neighbor turns to look over at their booth and gives a tiny smile and a polite nod. Nothing more than a crumb of attention and Jisung nearly melts into the sticky pleather beneath him. He is so down bad.
He watches Minho take a seat at the bar and order a drink.
Maybe it is from all of the Dollarita’s that he has been throwing back like water, but Jisung is suddenly overcome by confidence. A few beats later he puffs out his chest and pipes up. “I’m going to talk to him.”
Seungmin rolls his eyes. “Good luck with that.”
“Go get ‘em, tiger!” Felix pumps his little fist in the air in encouragement.
At least one of them has some spirit.
-
The confidence had been misplaced. Obviously.
Jisung didn’t really do a whole lot of talking. He just babbled dumbly for a couple of minutes and then gestured towards their booth in an unspoken invitation.
By some miracle, Minho followed him back.
“How have things been, Minho?” Felix asks, clasping his fingers together and resting his chin on his hands. “Are you settling in well?”
“So far so good.” Minho replies while he reaches for a mozzarella stick. “My cat went missing for a few hours last week though.”
“I’m so sorry to hear about that.” Jisung frowns as if he has no idea how that could have happened. It was an accident, he swears!
Seungmin kicks his shin under the table. It fucking hurts. He coughs loudly to cover up his involuntary whine.
“It’s alright, he came back.” Minho furrows his brow. Jisung remembers watching him wipe the sweat from it a couple of weeks ago. He wants to lick it off next time. “However his fur was greasy and his breath smelled like Meow Mix, which was weird because I only feed him Fancy Feast.”
Seungmin gives Jisung a look. “Wow. So weird.”
Jisung looks down at his hands to examine them.
They aren’t that greasy, he thinks.
-
Felix does indeed get his back blown out by the Applebee’s server.
It happens while Jisung is nibbling on the last mozzarella stick, engrossed in conversation with Minho about the weather or something equally as dumb. It should be a mundane topic but somehow Minho makes it feel like something worth talking about.
The server approaches the table, no longer in his uniform, and not so subtly tells Felix he is off the clock. “Off the clock, on his cock. See ya.” That’s what Felix whispers into Jisung’s ear as he climbs across him to get out of the booth.
By the time the two return from their escapades, the sun is setting and the manager is threatening to call the cops on them if they don’t get the fuck out. It’s not even closing time. He’s just sick of hearing Jisung screech about his thoughts on how Kakashi was his gay awakening.
Minho seems thoroughly entertained which only spurs Jisung on further. He’s full on ranting when Felix and the server approach the table.
“Hi, I’m Chris.” The server sticks his hand out in introduction. He has a goofy smile. It’s sort of endearing, Jisung thinks. Also a little off putting. “Nice to meet you guys.”
“I don’t know where that hand has been.” Seungmin makes a face of disgust. “Actually, yeah I do, and I don’t want to touch you bro. No offense.”
“None taken.” Chris laughs uncomfortably.
“I invited Chris back to our place to hang out.” Felix beams. Good dick does that to him. Pure sunshine radiates from every pore. Jisung hopes to know how that feels one day. Speaking of. “Minho, you should come, too!”
Jisung looks at Minho with unfiltered hope in his eyes. Please say yes. Please say yes. He is using every brain cell he has left (not many) to send telepathic wavelengths to Minho. Or as Felix would call it, manifesting. His entire body is practically vibrating.
“Sure.” Minho shrugs.
The power of Jisung’s mind knows no bounds.
“What do you mean our place?” Seungmin huffs. “You don’t live with us.”
“I may as well.” Felix argues with his arms crossed. He blows a strand of hair out of his face and clings to Chris’ bicep. “I’m over, like, all the time! I am basically your third roommate.”
“I expect your portion of rent at the beginning of the month then.”
-
They’re all sitting at the dining room table that Jisung had bought off of Craig’s List. One of the legs is dangerously close to giving out and there are suspicious bite marks along the edges, but it functions well enough.
Another thing Jisung now knows about Minho is that he is almost as insufferable of a gossip as Hyunjin. Which is saying a lot because Hyunjin is notoriously up in everyone’s business.
Jisung thinks that if the two of them ever meet they might be able to take over the world with all of their knowledge.
Minho grins as he spills every neighborhood secret he’s been able to uncover thus far. What the mailman gets up to on his days off, where the kid two doors down sneaks off to at night, who hates who and why.
Impressive for someone that has only lived on the block for a little over a month.
“And you know the lady down the street that’s into the MLM stuff?”
“Men loving men?” Felix cocks his head to the side. Chan is lost in his fond gaze. He pays no one but Felix any attention. “Damn, she must be really into Jisung then.”
Seungmin snorts as he stands up and heads towards the fridge. “You’re an idiot, Felix.”
“No. Multi-level marketing– like recruiting people to sell overpriced lotion door to door.” Minho clarifies. He leans in and lowers his voice dramatically. “Anyway, she’s cheating on her husband with the manager of Applebee’s. That’s why I go sometimes, to observe.”
Chris pays attention then. He looks repulsed. “Jinyoung? Ew, gross.”
“How does it feel to know your boss probably defiled the bathroom with Mrs. Choi before you got the chance to rail Felix in there?” Seungmin asks as he returns with a box of popsicles. Jisung plucks one out and peels it open. “I bet he didn’t even wash his hands after. Probably touched all the mozzarella sticks, too.”
“Shut up, Seungmin.” At least three of them say in unison.
Seungmin holds his hands up and hits his weed pen. “Jeez. Tough crowd.”
Jisung sucks on his popsicle like he can make Minho feel it through his conviction alone.
He thinks it might be working actually. Minho is watching as he obscenely punches it into the back of his throat. Subtlety was never his strong suit. Their eyes are locked while he does so. Jisung pulls it from his lips with an audible pop! and kitten licks at the sticky red that has collected on his fingertips.
“Are you okay?” Minho asks with his head tilted to the side. He blinks in rapid succession like he can not believe what he just witnessed. Jisung doesn’t miss the slight curl of his lips. He’s amused. He’s into it. Jisung can’t figure out how he got here but he’s glad that it’s happening.
The hot neighbor wants him so bad. It makes them both look stupid.
“No.” Seungmin answers before Jisung can even open his stained mouth. “No, he is not.”
-
When Chan and Felix leave at one point for round two in the back of Chan’s 2004 Kia Optima, Seungmin leaves to throat the landlord and Jisung somehow ends up in his room with Minho. He couldn’t say how it happened. It was a blur, really.
Jisung didn’t even have time to hide his lewd Japanese cat girl figures or take down his Hatsune Miku posters.
Minho looks around. He doesn’t seem to mind. “So this is your room?”
“Uh, yeah.” Jisung rubs the back of his head. He never actually thought he would be in this situation. “So, like, what do you want to do? You can watch me play Genshin or something. Actually, no. We can watch Unusual Memes on my laptop, or–”
“You know,” Minho interrupts. He closes the distance between them in one large stride. “I have a pretty good view through your living room window. Particularly when I’m mowing the lawn.”
Jisung gulps. Oh, fuck. “Y-yeah?”
“Mhm.” Minho is caging Jisung against the edge of his bed. He stumbles a little when it hits the backs of his knees. He can feel Minho’s hot breath on his face. It smells like mozzarella sticks. “You didn’t know that windows work two ways?”
“I didn’t– I– How much did you see?” Jisung can’t tell if this is some sort of weird foreplay or if Minho is going to kick his ass. He’s hard either way.
Minho strokes Jisung’s cheek with his thumb. He places his thigh directly between Jisung’s quivering legs and presses. “Enough to know that you need new throw pillows. It's okay, I liked it. You weren't the only one getting a show.”
Jisung’s mouth opens and closes like a fish out of water.
Speaking of fish. “Fuck, wait. If we’re gonna, like, get it on, I need to shield my son.” Jisung pulls his shirt over his head and drapes it over the fishbowl on his night stand. “Steve can’t witness what is about to happen. He’s too innocent.”
“You are so fucking weird.” Minho makes grabby hands. “Get over here.”
Jisung is about to do something so sinful with Minho that God will never allow him into Heaven.
Not that he ever really had a chance. He once stole candy from a vending machine when he was nine and his mother told him that he was going to Hell. Jisung just took a bite out of the Snickers bar and began referring to himself in third person as the Candy Bandit until he turned twelve.
It was a long three years for his poor mother.
-
Take that, Kim Seungmin.
Jisung can pull the hot neighbor. As evidenced by them both heaving in bed after two rounds of intense gay sex while the Sailor Moon opening plays faintly in the background. Maybe Jisung is allowed into Heaven after all. This sure feels like it.
“Soooo… do you wanna like, go to Applebee’s sometime?” Jisung asks through a few rogue sneezes. Fuck, he forgot Seungmin had been in his bed. “Like together. With just me. On a–”
“Yeah, Jisung, I’ll go on a date with you.” Minho huffs a laugh through his nostrils. He places a kiss on Jisung’s temple. “But only if you let me bang you in the bathroom. Everyone else had a turn and I’m starting to feel left out.”
They continue to make out for what feels like hours after.
“Hey.” Jisung looks up at Minho through his lashes at one point. His finger draws circles in the cum pooled on Minho’s stomach. “I’m sorry that I stole your cat that one time.”
Minho blinks. “Fuck, that was you?”