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Evening. The last of the golden dusk had melted into darkness sometime in the last hour; Chamber drew the curtain closed and Yoru watched him, sprawled irreverently on his silk sheets. Already, the anticipation had him eyeing the sure movements of Chamber’s hand, deliberate and precise. The very air was sweeter here, sandalwood and something else Yoru couldn’t place; the same scent was on the shirt he wore, the only thing Yoru had bothered to keep on before clambering into Chamber’s bed.
He inhaled again, the scent settling inside him, loosening every inhibition. “Baby,” he drawled, and he relished in the way Chamber turned to him, lambent eyes curious. “Come to bed.”
Chamber crossed the room in swift strides, bending down to kiss him; but he was gone just as soon, stepping into the bathroom to wash his hands. Yoru watched his reflection in the mirror; Chamber looked up, and their eyes met.
“Come to bed or I’ll do it myself,” Yoru repeated, smirking. He nodded carelessly to the armchair. “You can watch, I know you’d like that.”
Chamber’s gaze was amused. “Is that what you want?”
“Come to bed.”
Chamber just finished washing his hands and dried them on the towel, his movements unhurried. When he finally stepped back inside the room and the bed dipped under his weight, Yoru breathed out. Finally he would get what he wanted.
“Trying to drag it out because you know you won't last?”
“You’re trying to get me to hit you,” Chamber observed, and Yoru bit back the rest of his sentence in shock of how easily he’d been read. “I am not going to, by the way. That would be too easy.”
Chamber’s hand brushed his knee, the unexpected touch making Yoru jolt. “I could tie you up and make you take it, hit you like you think you want. You want to be overwhelmed because you don't know how to let go otherwise.”
Yoru jutted his chin forward. “Don’t pretend you don’t want it too. You get off on making me take it.”
“Sometimes,” Chamber replied, unruffled. “Not today. I want to make you feel good without you being out of it.”
Yoru only huffed in response. Chamber’s hand was still on his knee, and it was embarrassing how that simple touch was making it hard to think straight. Chamber was right, of course; he always was, damn it.
He hated being vulnerable. He didn’t know how to trust people. The easiest way around it was to avoid the problem altogether; when Chamber tied him up or hit him or just kept going until the harsh stimulation and relentless escalation messed him up so badly he couldn’t tell up from down—that felt safe, it felt good, that way he didn’t have the capacity to feel embarrassed about the way he moaned or how Chamber made him feel or anything at all.
So how was he supposed to let go of his control without it being forcibly taken from him? How was he supposed to surrender freely instead of being made to lose? It wasn’t for him. Surely that kind of love was reserved for people who trusted blindly.
“It’s easy for you,” he ground out. Flirt, narcissist, everything was easier for Chamber; he was the kind of person who could touch casually, an arm around the shoulder or kisses on both cheeks within the boundaries of natural physical contact, it wasn’t so difficult for him to let himself be touched.
“It’s not,” Chamber said earnestly, and Yoru hated the way his heart leapt when Chamber took his hand and gripped it in both of his own. “But I want to try, Ryo.”
Yoru grimaced but made no move to pull his hand away. “Why?”
Chamber sighed. “Because I love you.”
Yoru mulled it over. “That sounds like a lot of work,” he said finally. “You should just hit me.”
“Ryo,” Chamber said, looking into his eyes. “My heart. Do you trust me?”
“Yes,” Yoru said—there was no hesitation in that answer anymore. He swallowed. “But I don’t know what to do.”
Chamber gathered him up in a sudden embrace, before breaking away and tugging open the bedside drawer. “I’ll tell you. All you have to do is listen.”
Yoru watched apprehensively as Chamber set down the lube on the bed beside them, reaching further into the drawer for something else. Chamber caught him staring and smiled, eyes closing into crescents, and it took away some of the anxiousness building in the pit of his stomach.
“It’s alright,” Chamber told him, and Yoru bit his lip as he saw what was in his hand: a navy blindfold, the exact colour of the blue streak in his hair. Chamber pressed it into Yoru’s hands, letting him feel the lightness of the silk, the pleasing texture. “I had it made, of course, we couldn’t have it clashing with your hair.”
Yoru stared at the piece of fabric for a moment. “You had this all planned out, huh?”
A smile played on Chamber’s lips. “Something like that.”
Yoru paused for a second before moving to tie the blindfold, only to be stopped by Chamber’s hand on his own. Their eyes met for a second before Yoru relinquished the silk, letting Chamber cover his eyes and tie it behind his head, testing the knot with a finger hooked beneath the fabric.
“This isn’t for you to hide behind,” Chamber said, still adjusting the blindfold and making sure it wouldn’t slip off too easily. “I still want you to talk to me. This is just so you have one less thing to worry about.”
The silk made it so that he could still make out the light from the bedside lamp, but he couldn’t see anything clearly. His field of vision was transformed into an ocean of vague outlines and shadows, drenched in navy. It was… a lot like the rift, actually. “What next?”
“Time for you to take this off,” Chamber said, and with one hand still holding the blindfold in place he hiked up the shirt, hand splayed on Yoru’s abdomen. The touches were still soft, but Chamber seemed more focused on touching every inch of Yoru that was revealed as the shirt came off than on helping him out of it. He was more of a nuisance than a help as Yoru struggled to free himself.
Chamber sighed amorously as the shirt came off, revealing the expanse of Yoru's chest.
“You’re staring,” Yoru accused, and Chamber laughed.
“I am,” he confirmed, and the bed dipped slightly as he slid closer to run a hand down Yoru’s body. “You’re so beautiful.”
It brought a smile to Yoru’s lips; vanity was his vice as much as it was Chamber’s. “Go on.”
Chamber was quick to respond. “Your hands. See, you have calluses here, from your knife tricks—” and he took Yoru’s hand in his own, splaying the fingers out and tracing the first knuckle of his index finger, raising it to his lips and pressing a soft kiss to it before guiding his hand back into his lap.
It drew a contented sound from him, but he cocked his head as if he could see, waiting.
“More?” Chamber asked him, and he nodded, still grinning. Chamber’s hands danced up his arms, leaving goosebumps in their wake, then settled around his waist. “Your back muscles. Do you know, the first time I saw you without your shirt, I was amazed. You depend on speed, you’re so thin, and yet here—”
His thumbs dug into the space between the defined muscles, moving in slow circles.
“I remember,” Yoru said drily. He arched his back slightly; whether he’d intended to or not, Chamber was easing the soreness he’d built up from his last mission. “You couldn’t keep your hands off me.”
A laugh. “It’s still true.”
A moment passed with Chamber’s hands still on his waist, both of them lapsing into comfortable silence at the repetitive motion. It was only when Chamber’s hands stilled that Yoru spoke again. “That’s all?”
“If I were to list everything, we would still be here tomorrow,” Chamber teased, and Yoru barked out a laugh.
He really shouldn’t let the compliments get to his head, but he couldn’t help but feel giddy at each one.
“And the day after,” Chamber continued, and Yoru couldn’t stop himself from grinning. “And the day after that—”
“Forever?”
“Maybe not forever,” Chamber amended. “I think I could list all the parts I find charming about your body in… four days. I can be very productive.”
“I think you’re overestimating yourself,” Yoru ribbed. This back-and-forth, he could do. The earlier hesitation had evaporated in the face of their regular banter; when Chamber laughed, it almost felt like a normal conversation, one where he didn’t need to be conscious of how Chamber’s gaze felt on him.
The bed dipped again—it was much harder to keep his balance without being able to see—and Yoru was left quite literally in the dark, all his senses like compass needles searching for Chamber.
“Kiss me,” Chamber whispered from somewhere above him, and Yoru reached out blindly, feeling for him in the silken darkness.
It was Chamber’s neck that his fingertips grazed, and he traced upwards to the harsh line of Chamber’s jaw.
It was a clumsy kiss. Yoru’s lips found the corner of Chamber’s mouth, and he heard the other man laugh quietly before leaning down and kissing him. Without the quickening passion of lust or adrenaline, Yoru wasn’t at all sure what to do with himself; he kissed back uncertainly, mostly just allowing Chamber to explore his mouth slowly. The hand on Chamber’s face gripped him like a lifeline. The other hand tightened into an anxious fist in his lap.
A fist that Chamber pried open, entangling their fingers together. The fact that Chamber could still see all the ways his body gave him away, while Yoru couldn’t even see the lips he was kissing, made him feel again like Chamber had plucked his heart right out from his chest and was perusing it like a book.
“Ryo,” Chamber said softly, and Yoru shuddered. Something about hearing the name he’d abandoned years ago on Chamber’s lips made him feel even more vulnerable than before. Even as he tried to focus on the pressure of Chamber’s hands, there was a part of him that rejected the name. Ryo wasn’t him anymore, it was the naiveté he’d left behind in some forgotten alley in Tokyo, to be cast away like so many other personas in the city. The sound of it dredged up emotions he'd thought he'd grown out of, that with all his sharp edges he didn't fit into anymore: tenderness, vulnerability, trust.
“Je t'aime tellement,” Chamber continued, kneading his tensed-up shoulders. “Pour toujours.”
He couldn’t reply, momentarily overwhelmed. The kiss Chamber placed on the top of his head told him it was alright, that he could just let Chamber lead.
“Ryo,” Chamber repeated, and the way he said it was drawn-out and tender, like a lover’s caress.
Yoru shifted, trying to shake off the feeling of being watched. “Mm?”
“Nothing,” Chamber replied; Yoru could hear the smile in his voice. “I just wanted to say your name.”
Yoru groaned. “Touch me.”
“Patience,” Chamber chided, but he let his hands slide down, golden palms tracking twin trails next to his spine.
Yoru tried not to fidget as Chamber took it upon himself to interpret his demand in the most frustrating way possible; yes, Chamber was touching him, but he seemed determined to drag it out for as long as it took for Yoru to completely lose his mind.
“You’ve been working so hard,” Chamber said, tracing a line down his back. His hands lingered next to an open-edged scar, one that hadn't been there the last time Chamber had touched him. His fingers tapped against the skin, then smoothed over the scar as if to soothe it. Yoru had the impression that he had found himself lost for words.
“It doesn't hurt,” he said, opting to gloss over how it felt like he was being ripped apart whenever he entered the rift—what was the point in worrying Chamber? There was nothing either of them could do about it.
“I’ve seen you wake up in the middle of the night, with them burning like candles,” Chamber pointed out. He sighed. “There is always a price.”
“Has its uses. Did I tell you about the last mission?”
“Ran circles around them as usual, I expect,” Chamber said, and Yoru was glad to hear he didn’t sound so despondent.
“Around Skye’s dog, maybe,” Yoru allowed, grinning at the memory. “I had my mask on, and when I sent out the clone it jumped at it.”
“I’m almost certain it’s just a totem,” Chamber mused. “So you managed to fool Skye, not just the dog.”
“And then I got shot,” he admitted. “I’ll get them next time.”
“But of course.”
Chamber’s hands moved in a regular rhythm as they kneaded the hard knots in Yoru’s shoulders, working down the lines of the muscles and back up again, slowly and over and over.
There were two conflicting currents in Yoru, the sickening sensation of arousal that pooled in his stomach with every press of Chamber’s sure palms against his skin, and the deep comfort settling in his chest at his lover’s presence.
“I love touching you,” Chamber said. His hands glided over Yoru’s shoulders, and the way he touched him made Yoru feel like he was something precious. Like his sharp shoulders, as scarred as the rest of him, were glowing marble to be lavished with care. “You don’t let me touch you in front of the others, sometimes it’s all I can want… You have such a beautiful neck.”
His hands lingered at the base of it as if to accentuate his words, palms on Yoru’s collarbones, fingertips resting on his skin. Slow movements, pensive, and again he had that feeling of being held like a priceless artefact, a museum piece, irreplaceable, incomparable—Chamber touched him like he was savouring it. As if he couldn’t believe he had Yoru in his arms, but now that he did, he was going to spend the rest of eternity mapping out every inch of his body with the same restrained care he was showing now.
“There are times when I cannot look at you. With those shirts you wear, it is such a temptation,” Chamber said, his voice much nearer all of a sudden. Yoru tensed at the sudden press of lips on the side of his neck; the second kiss took away all the tension, and he let himself relax in Chamber’s hold as his lips roamed.
“Maybe you should lend me this,” Yoru said, reaching blindly for Chamber’s turtleneck; he didn’t know why Chamber still had his clothes on, but it gave him something to pull him forward by. It was hard to gauge force without his sight, and he didn’t know if Chamber surging forward was because he’d pulled too hard or simply because Chamber didn’t want his cashmere stretched. Or perhaps it was because Yoru had overestimated how hard it would pull to manoeuvre Chamber; in reality, Chamber acquiesced much more easily than he’d thought, willing to move however Yoru wanted him to.
“But then I wouldn’t be able to look at it,” Chamber breathed, and then they were kissing again. It was better this time, just like how they always kissed, voracious and fierce with the desire that they were both beginning to feel. Yoru had long ceased to feel the slight weight of the blindfold; his focus was wholly on Chamber’s hands coming up to clasp his face, on the fuzz of the sweater under his palms as he gripped Chamber’s shoulders.
Chamber pulled away from the kiss first, and Yoru gasped, eyelids fluttering under the blindfold. Reflexively, he tried to chase the kiss, but Chamber shifted and his hands slipped from where they were holding them and now everything was confused—an inch of separation felt much the same as a chasm when he didn’t know where it ended.
Instinctively, he reached out to brace himself on Chamber’s thighs, but Chamber must’ve been kneeling further away than he’d thought in his blindfolded state—his hands swept through empty air, and he almost stumbled forward, losing his balance.
Chamber’s hands were on either side of him, his grip firm as he supported Yoru’s weight. Gently, he guided Yoru back to his earlier position.
Instead of wandering, the hands lingered. Yoru’s breath hitched at the heat radiating from the palms.
“Do you need a moment?” Chamber’s voice was low, more patient than concerned.
Yoru struggled for words, feeling like a drowning man trying to come up for air. “I—”
“Breathe,” Chamber reminded him, and Yoru realised that his breaths had grown ragged and uneven.
It was a few minutes before the swirling tempest in Yoru’s head calmed down enough for him to be coherent. “I want to hold you.”
Chamber shifted, the hands on Yoru’s sides slipping behind his back as he pulled him forward into a half-embrace. “Like this?”
Yoru made a noise of assent, resting his chin on Chamber’s shoulder. The warmth was all around him now, Chamber’s arms wrapping around him and pressing them together.
Chamber’s hands were at the back of his head, where he’d tied the blindfold. “Do you want me to take it off?”
“No,” Yoru said, and Chamber’s hands moved to his back, hugging him tightly. “I… I want to see this through. The way you planned.”
A sharp intake of breath. “I will make it feel good, I promise.”
With Chamber’s gentle hands guiding, they disentangled themselves; it was slow, with blindness robbing Yoru of his agility, leaving him fumbling and awkward as he tried to move how Chamber wanted him to. There was the sound of the lube being opened, Chamber reaching for it one-handed as he kept the other on Yoru’s hip. Then he had to wait as Chamber stripped down, his skin burning at the loss of contact, at the prospect of being touched again. And when Chamber reached down to stroke him—finally finally finally, he hadn’t realised but he had needed this for so long—that slow rasp of his calloused palm on him was everything.
He moaned, and Chamber moaned too, and the realisation that Chamber was touching himself made him gasp in renewed arousal. “Together,” he panted, and Chamber took his hand and guided him to hold him in his palm but Yoru needed to be closer, and he reached for Chamber’s waist, pulled him forward so they were pressed up against each other, and at the first slide of Chamber’s length against his, both pressed together in Chamber’s hand, he couldn’t breathe.
It was Yoru’s turn to touch Chamber, to reach forward with shaking hands and find him in that cobalt darkness, chest rising and falling quickly as they groaned together. Yoru gripped Chamber’s shoulders for some semblance of stability, grip tightening whenever Chamber’s hand moved in just the right way, and Chamber’s other hand was on his chin, drawing him in into the messiest of kisses, all panting breaths and desperation.
“Close,” Yoru gasped out, his head spinning. Chamber chose that moment to rub his thumb against his tip, and he shuddered and moaned; the tension wouldn’t leave, it just kept building, he was shaking and Chamber’s presence was the only thing keeping him steady.
“Can you hold on for me?” Chamber said, almost as breathless. “Just a little more.”
“Vincent,” and even as he begged, he knew he would do as Chamber told him, he trusted him to know what was good for him better than he knew himself. “Vincent, please—”
Endless praises and promises fell from Chamber’s lips, dizzying Yoru still further, the friction of Chamber’s length against him mixed with his voice telling him I know, I know darling, just a little longer, you’ve been so good.
What felt like hours later, Chamber’s breaths stuttered and he gripped them both tightly, and in response to Yoru’s agonised cry he shushed him and stroked them together, faster now. “Let go, come with me, together—”
Yoru was rutting into his grip, crying out, and then his release hit him—sweet fire coursing through him, that navy ocean burning white, and Chamber was still working him through it as his release painted both their stomachs. A moment later, Chamber was groaning and there was new heat between them, Yoru struggling for breath as overstimulation began setting in, and all the tension left his body as Chamber finally let go, breathing heavily. For a long moment they were bathed in that golden light, hearts unchained, basking in each other’s presence and the last vestiges of that unbearable pleasure.
Then there were hands at the back of his head, tugging at the little knot, and Yoru blinked as the world came into focus again.
Chamber smiled at him, and Yoru noticed with a rush of affection the dusting of pink on his cheeks from the exertion. “How are you feeling?”
Yoru considered the question. Now that the afterglow was settling on him, he felt a deep satisfaction, and a sudden wave of fatigue. “Good. Tired.”
Chamber nodded. “I’m going to get a towel. Do you want some water?”
Yoru shook his head, watching Chamber through half-lidded eyes; his lover was quick to return, and Yoru flinched at the wet towel pressed to his skin, but relaxed when the warmth registered.
“Thank you for being open with me,” Chamber said quietly, wiping down the mess on Yoru’s thighs.
“It was good,” Yoru said, yawning. Now that it was over, he wanted nothing more than to sleep. “If you want to talk about it, we can do it in the morning.”
Chamber was yawning too as he quickly made haphazard sense of their surroundings, clearing the shirt and his pants and the towel, each movement more absentminded than the last. Returning to the bed, he let himself be taken into Yoru’s arms, snuggling into a comfortable position as he lay with his love.
Yoru fell asleep all too soon, head dropping from Chamber’s shoulder to the pillows. Chamber held on to consciousness a moment longer, feeling the warmth inside his chest and the warmth of Yoru’s arms around him; then he could no longer distinguish the two sensations as they melted together, and he slipped into the realm of sleep after him.