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Oh skibidi. My lovely skibidi. I tickle my tip to pictures of skibidi. Joe thinks it's weird, and Danderson is institutionalized so his opinion does NOT matter. I can't help it, I love skibidi toilet. I get a bit of an 𝓮𝓻𝓮𝓬𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷 everytime I see him. I have a collection of sperm crusted pictures of skibidi toilet I used to stroke it to. I wish my lovely skibidi would just come over here and kiss me (with tounge ofc). But alas, he cannot know.
It's any old day, and I'm alone in my room. The saints just went marching in, so I'm all alone. Finally, I get to do what I love most. Jerk off to pictures of skibidi. I grab my old adidas shoe box that contains all my old crusted pictures I ejaculate on. I grab my favorite one, it's from the first episode of skibidi toilet. I whip it out. It's thirteen inches and mighty, I tell you. I start stroking it to skibidi. "Ah~ Skibidi toilet auh~" I was moaning a wee bit, lets just say that. I decided that today wasn't any usual session, I was gonna 𝓮𝓭𝓰𝓮 today. Just as I was about to 𝓬𝓵𝓲𝓶𝓪𝔁 I ceased the stroking. It physically hurt bruh. Once it... 𝓬𝓪𝓵𝓶𝓮𝓭 𝓭𝓸𝔀𝓷 a bit I started stroking again. Rinse and repeat like ten times in under 20 minutes. Just as I'm about to let myself 𝓬𝓵𝓲𝓶𝓪𝔁 someone opens my bedroom door. It's skibidi. He sees my crusted images and thirteen inch BONER and I freak out. "N-No skibidi! It's not what it looks like!" I (s)creamed. I saw a skibidi erection. His was only 𝓯𝓸𝓾𝓻 inches which is lowkey kinda lame. "Brrrr skibdidi dop dop dop yes yes skibidi dop beep beep~" skibidi said. "Really skibidi?" I inquired. "Yes yes" Skibidi replied. Skibidi toilet bent over to recieve, and I shoved it in the (ummm uhhhh fuck ummm) toilet hole (???) and I begun 𝓽𝓱𝓻𝓾𝓼𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓰 inside of skibidi. He was ontop of the crusted images, so it sounded like fall leaves getting crunched up in there. "Brr skibdi dop~" skibidi moaned. OH MY GYATT skibidi turns me on sooo much lawd... I was thrusting SOOO hard then me and skibdi EXPLODED at the same time!!! SOmeone else walked in, it was 𝓙𝓸𝓮. "uhh ummm ueh uh w-what um" Joe tried to speak, but because he's a literal mesozoic fossil he doesnt know what the hell is going on. He then proceeded to fall down stairs that arent even there. I was still thrusting even though Joe showed up, he'll forget it in less than five minutes anyway brutha. Joe wandered away in a matter of minutes so me and skibidi continued. i tickled skibidi's bootayhole with my diddlefingers, and he busted. then daniel larson sent us a bomb threat and got another ten years.
a day later skibidi dop dop'ed over to me and said "brr dop dop skib" and he looked scared. "what is it skibidi?" i inquired. "𝓘 𝓱𝓪𝓿𝓮 𝓰𝓸𝓷𝓸𝓻𝓻𝓱𝓮𝓪 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓘 𝓰𝓪𝓿𝓮 𝓲𝓽 𝓽𝓸 𝔂𝓸𝓾." He said. "wtf you can talk also WHAT?!?" I screamed. I have gonorreha... or goonorreha if you're 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂. but i have an STD fetish so it's okay. im also sexually attracted to tables and dawn dish soap. auh dawn dish soap cum on my bootycheeks auhhahauahuahuauahu im so bricked up oh yurrr
and that kids, is how i met your mother (𝓱𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓽 𝓮𝓶𝓸𝓳𝓲)
