Chapter Text
Tyler was sure that his family had to be homophobic. There was no way they weren't. He saw the looks his family had given time and time again. Those looks weren't concern, or curiosity, they were sheer hate. He wasn't surprised by this, given the way his household had functioned since he had first remembered. Church first thing Sunday morning, or every respected holiday for them to go, the Josephs would be there.
Tyler hated church. No. Tyler hated the stigma around church being a save-all.
Go to church!
They say
God will take care of all your problems.
Sure he would, but the problems Tyler had made him question if he could even be fixed by any higher power.
You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination. This phrase rang throughout his head at times, along with a plethora of other things people have said to him.
Tyler, depression isn't real, you're just begging for attention
Tyler, stop trying to say that you hear someone in your head, if you were the second coming of Jesus Christ, I think we would know.
Tyler, why do you hang out with those people you know-
Tyler, why can't you-
Tyler, why won't you-
Tyler -
Tyler-
Ty-
“Tyler!” his mother said more firmly putting a firm hand on his shoulder. He looked at her wide-eyed with questions as he finally succumbed to what was happening around him. Oh right, he was in church again. People crowded around the exit talking loudly as they made their way out.
“Hm- oh sorry I was just-”
“Zoning out again. Tyler, did you forget what we have talked about? We want you to be more active in church, we are worried about you and all this..” she waved her hands around erratically “Zoning off isn't helping! What is getting into you?” She said. He knew his mother wasn't angry but rather concerned about the state of her son. He brushed his legs off and started to stand up when he noticed the rest of his siblings and his father were looking at him like he was plagued.
“S’nothin’” He mumbled trying to walk past his mother but she stood her ground and placed both hands on his shoulders
“You can tell me y’know” She talked softly to him like they were the only ones in the church.
“I know,” Tyler said, eyes falling to his shoes as he finally made a successful attempt at passing his mother.
They all walked to the car, Jay and Maddie fighting over some dumb thing again that Tyler really had no interest in paying mind to. As they pulled out of the parking lot the bickering continued and Tyler wondered why he never took his own car to church. His mom started talking and he used that as an excuse to zone out and think but was cut short by his phone buzzing in his pocket.
“Hey just got the new smash bros today wanna come try it out?! :p” Josh had texted him followed by another quip “We can swing by Taco Bell too”
Tyler felt his face creep up into a small smile before quickly typing out
“Absolutely, I'll be there in 20?”
“Kk”
He shoved his phone in his pocket and zoned out again.
!!--------------------------!!
Parking his gray Nissan Altima in the driveway, Tyler entered the garage door password and let himself into Josh’s house. It was accustomed for the two to let themselves in whenever they were hanging out together. They had done it for years now.
Walking into the house Tyler saw Josh on the couch in their living room playing something on the Wii, but Tyler, being too exhausted by church, flopped down directly over Josh's legs letting his head hit the couch cushion with a smack.
“That bad huh?” Josh quipped, not letting his eyes leave the screen.
“Eh, same old same old. Jay and Maddie arguing over the stupidest things, me zoning out and my mom getting all worried about it, and then they argue in the car. I feel like every Sunday is just some big joke at this point” He sighed turning his head to watch Josh play Super Mario Galaxy.
“Well I haven't even opened Smash yet, I was waiting for you”
“You were?”
“Yeah, I have no one else to play it with” Josh chuckled as he paused the game to look down at Tyler sprawled out against him.
“So how about some Taco Bell?” Josh caulked his head slightly “My parents just went out for the day so we can eat on the couch” He smiled gently before standing up abruptly sending Tyler to the floor in a loud thump as he screeched.
“JOSH!” Tyler shouted as he grabbed the pillow on the couch and threw it at him, hitting him square in the face.
“Oh you're
ON
” Josh smirked as he started wacking Tyler with the pillow he just threw at him. Tyler reached for his legs making him stumble and took the opportunity to drag him down to the floor. Josh let out a tiny yelp and threw the pillow at him before lunging for his wrists. The two boys twist and tumble before Josh gets the upper hand and pins both of Tyler's hands to the opposite side of his face, straddling him and using his legs to keep Tyler in place.
They sit there for a little too long, looking at each other and trying to catch their breath when Josh pants out “I win again.”
“Yeah- yeah” Tyler breathes airily “won't happen next time”
“You said that last time and look at how things went!” Josh looks down at him with the biggest shit-eating grin.
“You're right” he laughs as Josh finally lets his wrists go and tumbles onto the floor next to him.
The afternoon was spent well, the two boys eating too much Taco Bell. Screaming at each other in Smash, trying to figure out the new controls, and way too many roughhousing matches ending in Tyler being pissy that he had only won one match against his opponent. The last wrestling match was the fault of Tyler zoning out again in Smash and Josh using his ignorance to take a good shove to Tyler sending him on the floor and them thrashing about each other. Josh had won yet again and he stood straddling Tyler on the floor, whispering and panting into his ear “Gocha” before he let go and collapsed onto the floor next to him.
Maybe Tyler was exhausted or maybe it was because Josh had been practically touching his ear with his lips, sending hot breaths along his neck, but Tyler was left with pink drowning his face as he lay there in defeat. The two lay there wordless as they mellowed their breathing, but Tyler couldn't stop thinking, feeling something odd he hadn't felt before when he and Josh had their little matches. Something poking and prodding in the depths of his chest leaving him sore and somewhat sad.
“I can hear you thinking over there,” Josh said, making Tyler's cheeks flush pinker than they already were. He wasn't surprised he had said that. Tyler and Josh had been friends for the longest time and knew the ins and outs of each other. Josh always manages to throw a line to Tyler letting him crawl out of the trenches of his mind, and Tyler always knows what to say or how to act when Josh has his occasional panic attack or anxiety-ridden days.
Josh moved up from the ground using one hand to prop himself up and look at Tyler from an angle.
“S’fine, I'm fine”
“Did I hurt you?”
“No no I just-” Tyler let his words drag out, not even sure where he was going with it.
“Ty-” Josh’s voice lined with worry
“It's fine J, I don't even know what's going on, it's okay”
“Mkay,” He said, dissatisfied with Tyler's answer.
Josh stood up and lent out his hand to pull Tyler up, grabbing his other hand in the process. “Yknow, Pete, and Patrick are trying to get us all together to do some type of Mario Kart tournament sometime this week, I think you should come. Jenna, Brendon, Ryan said they were going and I know you haven't really seen everyone since you've been so caught up in your school work or whatever you have been doing in your house.” Josh gave his hands a reassuring squeeze.
“S-sure”
“Great, I'll see you there” He smiled