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You depended on Alastor a lot, and to his credit, he had to deal with a lot. You had gone through so much in both your demon and human lives, and he had become a permanent fixture in your life. Whenever you had a problem, especially when dealing with something more personal, Alastor was always there to make it better and pick you up when you were down. He was always there with an encouraging word, a quick pick-me-up, a confidence boost, and you owed him a lot for helping you so much with your confidence. In a way, you were a bit sad you couldn’t offer him the same to show how grateful you were for his patience and care.
You didn’t realize that you’d get the opportunity to very soon.
You were very confused when you awoke one night, both of you still tangled in the sheets, with Alastor’s static blaring. It was enough for your ears to press against your skull, wincing as you turned to look over at Alastor. You swore you felt your poor dead heart drop.
Alastor was having some sort of awful nightmare. His grin was borderline manic, eyes squeezed shut tightly, and his breathing coming in brief frantic gasps. He was twisting and turning something fierce, borderline thrashing, and you could tell he was freaking out to a dangerous state. His static was picking up volume and his antlers were branching out and out.
You had to wake him up. You had your fair share of nightmares, and Alastor was always there to wake you and comfort you.
“Alastor, wake up.” You called, shifting a bit to see if you could free yourself from his arms to try and shake him. Except as soon as you tried to move, his arms tightened around you and made it near impossible to move, a low growl in his throat. He was panicked enough that he was starting to shift into his full demon form. You could feel his limbs beginning to snap and pop as they lengthened and he grew impossibly taller, and his claws began sinking into you unwittingly. It didn’t hurt a lot, but the shock of it was enough to make you cry out in pain.
“Alastor!”
His eyes snapped open, and you felt fear grip you by the throat as you stared into them, radio dials flickering and static screeching.
Seeing the fear on your face, registering it was you he was staring at, finally seemed to snap him out of his daze. His static cut off almost completely, and his features returned to normal, an almost painful stretch to his smile as he looked over you nearly frantically, releasing you like you were an open flame.
“My doe, I’m… I’m sorry.” He looked visibly distressed, ears pinned back and eyes still wide with lingering fear, both from the dream and the fact that he had potentially harmed and frightened you.
“Hey, hey, it’s okay Al.” You murmured, immediately reaching for him again. He tensed when you touched his face, and he remained tense for a long time as you both sat there and he tried to control his breathing. It actually took an almost painfully long time for him to calm down, but eventually, his breathing returned to normal and he had, mostly, relaxed a bit.
“Do you want to talk about it?” You murmured softly, one hand gently weaving into his.
“I would prefer not to discuss this.” He muttered.
You nodded, and you settled for gently leaning against his side. He seemed to take some relief in that, thankfully, and eventually you finally felt calm enough to feel sleep poke and prod at you. You turned your head away to muffle a yawn, which Alastor noticed.
“If you wish to sleep, doe, do not let me keep you.”
You shook your head. “No. I’m not sleeping while you’re still rattled.”
He looked a bit perturbed, but you weren’t going to budge on this. He settled for sitting on the bed besides you, allowing you to hold his hand and calm him. You did manage to do wonders, having a very comforting presence, and he felt more reassured in having you nearby and within his grasp.
“We can lay down if you wish, doe.” He said quietly.
You nodded slightly. “If… If you don’t mind, I’d like to try something different…” He merely raised a brow in question. “I’d like to hold you, this time.”
He tensed. “Darling, I believe I just demonstrated why that is a terrible idea.”
You low-key had suspected that he had a minor worry, even from the start of your relationship, about hurting you with his antlers. They were sharp, even in their smaller form, and they could injure you if you were prodded by them in the wrong way. And when they branched out when he lost his composure… That could be deadly.
You hummed thoughtfully. “How about… You lay on me? Then I can still hold you, and you won’t risk giving me a love prodding.” You suggested.
He paused for a moment, thinking things over for a moment, before he slowly nodded.
Alastor was a tall and lanky man, so his hooves dangled a tad off the edge of the bed, but he didn’t mind it too much. He did become a little flustered when you cradled his head against your chest, but watching how soft and sweet you were treating him, he didn’t have the heart to pull away from you. The rising and falling of your chest was soothing, and it helped him calm down even more. The look you had on your face, however, soon distracted him. You were looking right at him… Except your eyes were angled upwards slightly.
“Darling, what is running through that mischievous mind of yours…?”
You cocked your head curiously. “Your ears…” You started.
He felt them twitch backwards. “Absolutely not.”
You pouted. “Why?
His smile strained slightly. “They are… Sensitive, to touch.”
You nodded. “So like mine, then.” You watched him nod slightly. “I let you touch mine, deer heart… It’s relaxing.”
His static twitched and popped, before it died down again. He was quiet for a few moments, before he sighed and nodded slightly.
“Be careful, dear…” He murmured.
“I will.” You reassured, reaching up with your hands very gently and slowly.
You had always been interested by Alastor’s deer-like traits. His tail, which he normally kept hidden by his suit jacket, was utterly adorable to you. It actually wagged when he got excited or happy, which was a big reason why he kept it hidden. Most people didn’t even know he had a tail, and Alastor preferred to keep it that way. Most people didn’t know he also had hooves under the dapper shoes he wore, and though he didn’t seem as scandalized to let that fact slip in conversation in comparison to his tail, he still kept it mostly private. You didn’t even know that until he became more comfortable with intimacy… His ears were another matter. He couldn’t hide those, so they were out and about for anyone to see. However, he was extremely against them being touched. You could understand, especially since you had similar sensitive fluffy ears on your head, but you wanted to share some of the lovely feelings he often showered on your own ears.
You gently ran your fingers through his hair, allowing him to relax at the feeling of someone touching him near such a sensitive spot, gradually letting your fingers circle around the base before you really started to knead into them with your knuckles. In truth, you simply did what he did to you, but the reaction was immediate.
At first, Alastor was stiff, gradually relaxing as you took your time, but when you essentially started massaging his skull, he went immediately and completely limp. It was like you had found a switch, really, a switch that made him melt. You smiled as you gazed down at him, where he was staring at you with half-lidded eyes in a matter of moments, quiet groans stirring from his throat.
“Feel good, Al?”
He hummed in reply, making you smile as he was lulled into a relaxed state. He almost looked ready to sleep, so you slowed your massaging of his ears before stopping completely, holding him as naturally as you could while he sprawled over you. Things were quiet, and you were sure he had dozed off again with how quiet he was, and you were ready to do the same.
“I wasn’t able to protect you.”
You blinked your eyes open, gazing down at him with minor confusion. He had his eyes cracked open, looking at you with a hint of sadness in his eyes. It took a second for your sleepy mind to make the connection, but you gently touched his cheek when you realized what he was talking about.
“Alastor, my big strong buck.” You murmured, watching his eyes light up at the praise. “Don’t let the mere idea haunt your cleverly handsome mind. You have nothing to fear, and do you know why? Because I know you value my safety and health, and you would never fail in something that you take such pride in. I trust you, and I know you’ll always keep me safe.”
Alastor paid complete attention to you as you spoke, and he could feel the coil in his chest beginning to lighten. You were right, of course, he took your safety as an utmost priority, and he would never let anything happen to you. He didn’t smother you, let you tackle situations he knew you could handle, but he was always there to leap in if something started shifting odds against you. He always would… Disgusting lingering fears, they had no place in his head.
“Thank you, cher.”
He gave you one of his sincere, happy smiles, leaning into the gentle caress of your hand against his cheek and taking in the gentle murmurings as you lulled him back to sleep. His arms were a bit tighter around you than usual, but beyond that he felt at ease enough to finally drift back off again.
In the morning, he would likely snap back to his old self, becoming the protector in your pairing once again, but just for the night, he could appreciate what it felt like to have the tables turned and have you soothe his frazzled mind in a way that he never anticipated before.