Chapter Text
This friendship of yours started by sheer luck, because you two happened to be neighbors attending the same elementary school. And you just happened to be in the same class, and you two just somehow happened to be next to each other, table against table. A smile from you, and a blush from him. Everything started that day, and your friendship started to blossom. Saihara Shuichi was your first friend.
This admiration of yours started by sheer unluck. You had lost your favorite hairpin, a cute pink bow with a cheap, plastic heart placed on it. It was your favorite one, even though it barely matched your clothes as a kid. It was your prettiest one, even though it often contrasted with your hairstyle, making it out of place. It was your most special one, because it was him who gifted it to you. Even though the both of you were definitely too young to be considering gifting presents to each other, he still did it and managed to surprise you on your most special day of the year, the date of your birthday. Being too scared to tell Shuichi, by fear of him thinking you were an airhead, disappointing and stupid, you didn't tell him, and you only started to cry the next day, after searching for it around the whole school. You cried a lot that day, but not only for your lost hairpin. You were also afraid to lose your one and only friend, Saihara Shuichi.
You couldn't believe your eyes when, the next week, your lost hairpin magically appeared again on your desk, gently placed on top of a box with a ribbon, with a note that says, 'Please don't cry'. You were familiar with this handwriting, confident that you could point it out to the correct person ten times out of ten. Hundred times out of a hundred. Thousand times out of a thousand. You've seen this handwriting too many times when you were late for your homework, so he had no choice other than letting you copy his hard work, not forgetting to tell you not to do this every time. You would always answer him the same thing, sticking your tongue out mischievously, before telling him how grateful you are and giving him the brightest, cutest smile you could muster.
You didn't know how he did it, how he found out about it, why would he even bother doing it - but you were sure that Shuichi found your hairpin back for you. The same hairpin that he gifted you. Quickly turning your head to your right, wanting to confront him, your eyes met with his, who was looking at you with the widest smile ever, as his index finger was placed on his lips, gesturing you to not question further. You swore that the sunlight bypassing through the windows only made him look more like an angel. You didn't know how else you should refer to him, except with 'your hero'.
Saihara Shuichi became the first one who managed to make you completely open up, the one and only person you trusted. As he went on and started to take more official detective requests, you were always next to him, helping him in the ways you could. It wasn't much, but being by his side and supporting him the best you could was all that mattered. Just watching him solve more and more cases, or reading alone in the middle school library, or walking together on the way home, or just talking about the things the both of you had done during the day, was enough for the both of you to smile. You would do anything for that smile. You would do anything for Saihara Shuichi.
This crush of yours started to grow bigger, faster, stronger, and wilder than you could even imagine, the more time the two of you spent together. This admiration of yours started to evolve into something you couldn't handle anymore. This love of yours started to become obsession.
Saihara Shuichi was your first friend. Saihara Shuichi was your hero. Saihara Shuichi was your saint. Saihara Shuichi was your purpose of living. Saihara Shuichi was your hope.
Saihara Shuichi wasn't your lover. Saihara Shuichi wasn't your partner. Saihara Shuichi wasn't yours. Saihara Shuichi did not love you the way you loved him. Saihara Shuichi was your despair.
And this despair will keep growing inside of you, the more and more time you spend with him. This love of yours will start to consume you, the more and more he smiles. This obsession of yours will destroy you, the more and more you wish him to be happy, with you by his side.
Saihara Shuichi was your childhood crush. A silly, unrequited crush. As you close your eyes, you wish to see his smile glowing under the sunlight once again, with his figure sitting on the desk next to you, gently looking into your eyes. As you open your eyes, you see nothing other than an empty desk in your empty high school classroom.
Saihara Shuichi isn't there, and will never be.
As you started your last year of high school, you had basically lost almost all contact with him. Even though the two of you promised to keep in touch after your parents moved out. Even though the two of you promised to send each other messages, to call each other and stay in touch. He's already stopped writing those messages. And you've already stopped replying to his phone calls.
You curse your past all-nighters as you slowly raise your head from your desk, yawning sheepishly as you cover your mouth with your hand. You couldn't believe you fell asleep in your own classroom and that no one bothered to wake you up, probably busier making fun of you for drooling in the middle of your math book. You could care less. The only thing that mattered to you was if your hair was a mess, as you didn't bring a comb and would hate to look bad in front of your new boyfriend, as you two promised to have a night date in the city after school.
After fixing your skirt and your school uniform's bow in front of the bathroom mirror, you glanced quickly at your phone, relieved that it was still early before your supposed meeting time. Fixing your foundation and quickly adding another layer of mascara, you put your new bracelet your boyfriend gifted you last week, too embarrassed to put it during classes, not wanting the attention it would give you especially among your female friends who happened to love gossiping around. After checking yourself in the mirror for the fifth time, you finally decide to go, not wanting to stay any longer in school, especially not if you somehow bump into your math teacher. You'll have to apologize profoundly next time you see him, and thank him for not waking you up, despite his obligations to do so.
Cracking a smile as you walk down the hall, you happen to pass again in front of your classroom, being reminded of the dream you just had a few minutes earlier, making your smile tone down to an emotionless face.
There was no way you would forget Shuichi. You were just too much of a coward to send him a message after a whole year of ignoring him, too scared to phone him whenever you felt tears pouring down your cheeks during lonely nights, too afraid of taking the train to visit his, your hometown.
Despite all of this, you were still glad to meet him again in your dreams. You were glad to remember his face, his smile, his voice. You were glad to remember everything.
You were glad to remember Saihara Shuichi. But you didn't want to remember that he never, ever, loved you.
The next day, your hero showed up in front of you, once again. It's been probably two years since the two of you have seen each other. You've often fantasized about meeting him again randomly on the streets, or him hitting you up and coming all the way long across several prefectures because 'he missed you'. You've often fantasized about him gently holding your hands, telling you how much he wished for you to have stayed in the same city as the one both of you grew up in; how much he wished for you to be his little assistant, still, even after all these years. You've often dreamed about him showing up again in front of you, smiling, and greeting you like nothing ever happened between the two of you.
But never ever, in your wildest dreams, would you imagine that you'd end up being a sobbing mess in front of him, hiding your face with your two whole hands, sitting across the same table in this café near your high school. Never ever, in your wildest fantasies, would you imagine Shuichi agreeing to come see you right as you asked, hoping on the first train he could take. Never ever, in your wildest imaginations, would you imagine that he'd take a tissue out of his pocket and start wiping your tears, so gently, barely brushing the tissue wrapped around his fingertips on your cheeks. Never ever, even in your wildest hopes, would you imagine that he was still capable of bearing such an expression on his face. Such a loving, caring, worried, concerned expression, as his eyes were locked on you, as his eyes were trying to find any traces of pain left on your face, his hand still holding onto your cheek.
"Hey... are you okay? D-Do you want to go outside...? Like, go back to your house, or somewhere more... private? You told me that you had something of urgent matter to tell me, but I didn't expect you to literally... break down in tears," Shuichi kept pulling out more and more tissues out of his pocket, while still gently calling your name as if to reassure you. His voice sounded a little different, but still had this gentle tone you were familiar with. His voice was the same, yet the way he pronounced words was much more mature, with a deeper tone. Ah. You weren't the only one who grew up.
You couldn't really see his face when you went to pick him up at the train station, as he's hiding most of his features under his cap, on top of the fact that you were shaking so much you probably couldn't walk straight, let alone have eye contact with him. You barely heard his voice when he greeted you, noticing how long it has been since the two of you has seen each other, as all you could focus on was the way he was holding his hand out, offering it to you as he called your first name, just like he did before. He probably did so after noticing how stressed you were, and how your legs couldn't stop shaking. It was an old habit of yours, but you didn't expect Shuichi to remember it, let alone help you, and comfort you through it.
The only thing that was different from back then is how cold his hand was when he grabbed yours, leading you out of the train station.
Why was he even here?
Snapping back to reality, you managed to slowly stop sobbing, as you acknowledge that the both of you are in your favorite café shop, in the corner of the room with little to no customers next to you. It was a school day, after all. It was still early in the morning, but late enough for your first class to have already started. It wasn't your first time skipping classes, but the same couldn't be said for Shuichi, whose figure sit across yours, still trying to clean up the mess on your face with a handful of tissue papers. You couldn't bear the thought of Shuichi getting in trouble because of you, as you slowly took his hand in yours, trying to reassure him that you were fine now.
"Sorry for acting like this... I-It has been pretty rough, especially last night... I-I'm sorry for texting you out of nowhere, I thought we were going to meet up this weekend or something, not... not right as I texted you, you know? I think I sent you a text around midnight or something, I can't believe you took the first train at 5am the next morning just to come...," you tried to explain the situation to him, tried to get your thoughts together and speak clearly, even though you were still trembling, and yet you were still crying. You probably looked like a complete mess in front of him, and not just a crying mess.
"Well, you told me you had a request for me and that it was of very, urgent matter... I'm not currently working on any case- ah, well, not anything important, so I thought I could just free my day up today and come as soon as I could," said the Ultimate Detective, still gently rubbing your hand now firmly held in his, trying to comfort you in-between your small sobs that still manage to escape your throat. The two of you often held hands when you were kids, and it seemed like this habit of his was still present, even now, under such circumstances.
"T-Thank you... Thank you so much, Shuichi...," the name that left your tongue felt surprisingly bitter. You weren't sure if you two were close enough at this point to refer to each other as your first names, let alone nicknames like you two did as kids. You didn't want to pull more distance between yourselves by calling him by his last name, though. "You see, I... Last night..."
You were on a date with your boyfriend. Calling him your lover or your partner would be a strong word, as you two started dating on a whim, only a few weeks ago. Last night was only your second date, actually.
You started to explain what happened during your date last night, even though your mind went blank due to the shock and your memory was left fuzzy, unable to recall the event in its entirety. You did tell him, however, the most important bits.
Last night was a disaster. The first hour of the date went well, as you two even managed to hold hand: it wasn't something extraordinary for people your age, but considering your flirtatious nature, no one would expect for you to be a pretty innocent, unexperimented, and pure girl. Your boyfriend, despite coming from another school near your place, was quite popular among the girls in your class, and probably from the other years as well; but that didn't really make you happy or proud, as you two started dating after you asked him out, despite knowing nothing about him and wanting to get to know each other through the relationship more than anything. He probably went after your looks.
When the two of you sat down in a restaurant to eat, you noticed that the bracelet he gifted you was gone... Even though you were 100% sure that you still wore it prior to entering the restaurant.
What comes after left you dumbfounded though, as your boyfriend randomly snapped, first accusing you of having sold it right as he gifted it to you, despite your arguments on how you were wearing it just a few moments ago. He then furiously told you to either find it back by next week or to give him the money back, the one you supposedly got when you sold it. It was nonsense, you thought to yourself, and as you tried to protest, you felt a cold, hard and stingy substance on your thigh, underneath the table.
He had pulled a knife down and threatened to hurt you if you don't get him his money by next week.
"And I-I just don't understand, okay?! Why would he do that... What is the meaning of this, Shuichi? I-I didn't do anything wrong, I...," you fought hard, really hard, but tears started to flow nonetheless once again, slowly rolling down your already wet cheeks. "I don't really know him much, but I've heard rumors about him... About how he used to be in a gang... B-But I believed him when he told me this was in the past! There's no way I can," you sob in between your words, trying your hardest not to crack down once again. "There's no way I can pay him back 70,000 yen in just one weekend, I don't have any kind of money like that... There's no way I'm going to ask my parents either, I... I'm scared, Shuichi..."
Shuichi listened to it carefully, observing you and blinking occasionally when he physically had to. Even though it wasn't a long story, the silence between each of your sentences was unbearable. Still firmly holding your hands, Shuichi wasn't sure if the vibrations he felt was due to you shaking, or him. His eyes opened widely, enough for you to notice it even underneath his cap, as he clenched his teeth together. Visibly furious, Shuichi used his other free hand to form a clenched fist and smash the table, surprising you and other customers.
Shuichi wasn't just furious, he was enraged.
"Ah, right... The reason why I called you... Need you... Well, Shuichi... Would you be able to take on this case for me and to find my bracelet back...? I still vividly remember the itinerary and I know the city like the back of my palm," you said while reaching for an envelope in your bag, then pushing it across the table. It wasn't much, especially considering how much detectives cost, but this was everything you could gather without ruining yourself financially. "It's not much, but please accept it... I'm begging you, Shuichi."
The detective was still fuming, trying his best not to stand up and leave right at this instant to find your so-called, asshole boyfriend. After taking a few deep breaths, he finally decided to look back into your eyes, with a much gentler expression.
"You don't need to give me money, or anything as a matter of fact... I'll gladly take over this case," the young man said, as he starts pushing the envelope away, only to meet your steady gaze, determined to make him accept it, no matter how insignificant the amount is. After seeing how insistent you were, Shuichi coughed a little bit before releasing his hand from the rather thin envelope, having no choice than to put it in his pocket later. "Well, just tell me where you remember it being the last time you had it on you, and we will walk through it and search for clues. I could even use my agency’s notoriety to ask for shops to show me their camera footages, even though I certainly am in no right to ask for such a thing," he said, trying to crack a smile, despite the fact that the rage was still visible in his eyes. "Don't worry, okay? We'll find it."
We'll find it. We. You and him. Him and you. The both of you.
He had every single intention on making you help him, which should make sense since you're involved in the case, but it brings you all the warmth of a breezy spring weather inside you, enough to make you forget your embarrassing sobbing episode just a few moments ago. You can't believe you'll still get to investigate something with him, after so many years, even before the two of you lost contact: he was already slowly starting to build a reputation for himself right as he entered middle school, and by a blink of an eye, you already knew you could never reach him ever again; with Saihara Shuichi, the Ultimate Detective, being the rise of your city; and little no-name you, good in nothing, being the forgotten of your city.
Feeling your shoulders still tensing up, the following sentences Shuichi blurted out almost managed to make your heart stop beating. Both of his hands now gently posed on your shoulders, he approached his face to gently whisper next to your ear, in an unnatural husky tone.
"And just... relax for me as well, okay? I swear I'll protect you. No matter what happens..."
The center of the city, in which you know every corner of by the time you've spent hanging out here, felt way livelier just by having Shuichi's presence next to yours. You were told to carefully examinate every step you take, as it might have accidentally been dropped on the floor when you walked. Shuichi would never tell you that chances you find it there are slim, though, as he focused on checking if there were any cameras in the corner of the streets. He had an idea of what happened, but needed proof for his claims.
Too busy examining the paved tiles next to your feet, you couldn't have known that Shuichi has been keeping his eyes on you for a while. He expected things to have been a bit more awkward between the two of you, but was pleasantly surprised that you still trusted him enough to ask him for his help, even providing him with such personal information. The small talks you two had were nowhere as natural as the banters you two exchanged during your childhood, but knowing that you aren't giving him the cold shoulder is enough to crack up a warm smile on his face. It still greatly saddens him that the two of you lost contact over the years, but he couldn't be more grateful that the friendship the two of you share, and the bond the two of you created, never truly died.
He wasn't sure how to feel nor to react, though, when you told him about your boyfriend. Even though he doubts that you're still going out with him at this point after he had made such alarming threats to you. He wonders why you started dating someone like him to begin with, but Shuichi was in no position to judge.
"Ah, there...!" He suddenly spoke up, gently tugging on your arm. "I think I managed to find a camera angle where it would be possible to see your wrist. It would be a good way to pinpoint if you still had your bracelet on you when you walked around here, and if not, how much time has passed since you lost it," he said, as he started walking in another direction. "The shop is only a few meters away from here, we could go there and ask them if they allow us to watch their footage."
A bit startled by his hand on your arm earlier, you nodded as you turned your face so Shuichi wouldn't see your flushed cheeks. After negotiating with the shop owner and a few pleas from you, he allowed the both of you in the back of the store, in a small office.
After skipping around the footages, Shuichi pressed the pause button after recognizing you on the screen, along with another tall, male figure next to you. Upon confirming to the detective that the footage indeed is showing you and your boyfriend, the video starts again, and you couldn't believe the horrifying truth about to be revealed.
Your boyfriend was holding your hand and had stopped right in front of the camera, you remember complaining to him about your hands being cold and something about wanting to put your hands in his pockets, for extra warmth. Even though the expressions on your faces weren't captured by the camera, he seemed to have agreed, as you slowly put your hand in his pocket. Your wrist was shining, confirming your assumptions that you still had your bracelet on while walking around. The two of you stopped for a few minutes to talk, and after seemingly being done with your small talk, the two of you started walking again, this time hand in hand again as you took your hand out of his pocket.
The shining reflection that was once on your wrist was no more.
Covering your mouth and eyes widened in shock after learning the truth, the footage confirmed Shuichi's suspicions: your so-called boyfriend had stolen the bracelet and framed you for it. Being the Ultimate Detective, he already had an idea of what might have happened, but the footage was the only way to confirm his theory. It seemed like he didn't need to explain to you what had happened, as the shock on your face and the tears pouring down your eyes were enough confirmation.
Lowering his cap and thanking the shop owner on your behalf, Shuichi held your hand and dragged you out of the shop, as you were still too much in shock to walk properly. His grip was getting stronger and stronger, while your legs were getting weaker and weaker, as it took everything in your power to not just kneel on the paved floor, ignoring the passerby’s gaze.
Shuichi wanted to comfort you, but he wasn't sure how to. It sent him into a state of rage, hearing, and seeing your boyfriend treat you like that. But most importantly, he couldn't bear the thought of seeing you crying once again. Shuichi knew what he had to do, but he wasn't sure if he had any rights to do so. He tried his best to ignore your shaky shoulders, but for God's sake, he couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't take it.
Shuichi quickly stopped in his track, still holding onto your hand, as he turned around and gently cupped your cheek, the other on your back, pressing the side of your head against his chest, embracing you. He couldn't bring himself to say any word, as he didn't trust his voice enough not to let the anger transpire through it. All he could think in this exact instance is to never let you go. Your scent, your hair, your sobs, your warmth, and your figure, were all intoxicating to him, and he could never get enough of it. His body moved faster than his brain could, subconsciously cursing himself as he was aware that this embrace was not supposed to happen. But the way your figure trembled, the way you gripped the back of his shirt, the way your tears soaked through its fabric and the way you accepted his hug made him unable to let go.
He couldn't bring himself to let go of you ever again.
"Don't worry, okay? Everything's going to be fine..." Shuichi muttered, while stroking your hair, trying his hardest to hide the anger and frustration in his voice, as his eyes were locked on you, full of determination. "It must be scary for you, I know... but you'll be fine. I'll be here to protect you. I'm never letting anyone hurt you again. Ever."
"S-Shuichi...," your voice was barely audible, muffled by his chest, his school uniform, as you felt the vibrations in his chest. His heartbeat was loud and fast, and his embrace was tight and strong. It's been so long, too long, since the last time he held you like this, yet it felt so natural, so comforting. You felt so safe around him that you couldn't help but trust him, especially right now. Even if those words were to be nothing but lies.
"Just leave it to me from now on," Shuichi said as he gently patted your head. "Leave him to me, I will make sure to solve all this mess for you," Shuichi whispered next to your ear, as he cupped your cheek tenderly, locking his eyes into yours. "I promise. Trust me. So please... Don't cry, okay?"
You nodded as he pressed his lips on your forehead, gently brushing your skin, making sure not to put too much strength into it. Even though it was quick, the sensation was lingering. As his lips separated from your forehead, Shuichi gently placed his hands on both of your shoulders, before taking a step back.
"Shall we go somewhere else, then? You must be exhausted after everything that happened...," the detective said, looking at you with a gentle expression, his usual blushing self. "I think I might know a place where we could go to cool off a little, or at least calm down and clear our minds."
You couldn't help but follow him, despite the fact that his hand was still holding yours as the two of you walked. You wished for this moment to never end, yet, it was just the beginning.
You didn't except to end up in Saihara Shuichi, your childhood friend's hotel room, sitting on his bed, after the chaotic day you just had. Your cheeks were still warm from the dried off tears that overflew earlier, as you're pretty sure you haven't cried this much since you moved out from your hometown. Slightly uncomfortable with the current situation, you tried to play it off by taking deep breathes, fidgeting as you started to play with the bedsheets pinched between your fingers.
Swallowing your saliva, you couldn't help but glance at Shuichi from the corner of your eyes, as he had his back to you while he was washing his hands: you managed to peek through the opened bathroom door. You were surprised, but not too much, to notice how mature his face had become. Of course, the shape of his jawline, his nose, his eyes, everything were the same. That black hair of his was well trimmed as you couldn't help but notice every single detail of his appearance, especially after he's taken his cap and his school uniform jacket out, leaving him in nothing but a single white shirt tucked in his black belted pants. He looked taller, too, even though he was already quite tall, but he's definitely grown a few centimeters, or at least, that's what it looked like for you, as his head was a little bit higher than you remembered.
As you kept looking at your childhood crush, he was done washing his hands and grabbed a towel to dry them off. Hands. His hands. They were so beautiful. His hands were slightly bigger than you remembered, especially with how well they wrapped yours around when the two of you held hands on your way to the hotel. His wrists were also well-rounded. The bones were clearly visible, but not too much, the skin on his knuckles looked soft, and you couldn't help but to remind yourself that those long and skinny fingers of his have been gently touching your cheeks earlier, firmly intertwined around yours as well.
And then, the two of you made eye contact. You felt like you were in a trance, those magnificent, golden eyes of his slowly hypnotizing you... and didn't realize how long you've been staring until his lips slightly twitched upwards, curved into a gentle smile.
"You must have been exhausted, hm? I'm not sure how much it would help, but would you like a cup of coffee, perhaps? I could make you some, and even order food if you want," Shuichi asked as he approached the coffee machine on his hotel table, turning his back to you once again. "I can't guarantee the taste will be good, though, I'm not really an expert with these things." You could hear his soft smile even though you couldn't see his face.
Your throat let out a small sound of affirmation, and Shuichi must have caught on it as he started to turn the machine on, while looking for all the necessary ingredients offered by the hotel in order to make, you assumed, one of the worst coffees you would ever have the displeasure of drinking. You weren't even a coffee person, after all, as you'd pick tea over it every single time.
No, truth to be told, you weren't in the mood to drink anything. But you weren't in the mood to refuse Shuichi's offer either. As if you dared to even think about refusing anything from him. No, that would never happen. You swore that you would do anything he asked you, anything, any-
"Do you want sugar and milk in it?" Shuichi's voice snapped you back to reality as you widened your eyes, a bit ashamed that he caught you staring so fondly at him once again. You just couldn't help it.
"Y-Yeah... A lot of milk and sugar, please," you said as you cleared your throat. "I'm not a fan of bitter stuff. Never been-"
"I know," Shuichi replied abruptly, cutting through your sentence. Before you had the chance to react, he turned his head, and as he looked into your eyes, you could feel sadness emanating from his, and the tone of his voice sounded nothing like his usual self. "I remember." He looked like he was about to cry.
It's been so long.
So, so, long.
You missed him so much. He missed you so much. The both of you missed each other so much.
And yet, the only thing the both of you could do is stand there, facing each other, yet unable to do anything. The only thing the both of you could do is stare at each other, longing, waiting for the other person to make a move. The only thing the both of you could do is wish that you had the courage to reach for each other's hand and hug once again.
"Hey...," you spoke up, not able to contain your feelings anymore. "Shuichi, I... I'm sorry for not reaching out, for the past few years... I-I mean, I didn't want to, no, I-I couldn't, I-" the more you tried to form words, the more they got stuck in your throat. How could you even begin to apologize for ignoring him, and not only for a few weeks, but a few years? What would he even think of you after hearing your real feelings? You were so scared that he was going to leave you alone, so scared of being left alone again, so scared of not being the subject of his love, so scared of everything, everything, that you didn't even notice how Shuichi had put the coffee mug away and approached you, kneeling in front of you, cupping your cheeks, making sure that your eyes were locked into his. The warmth of his hands spread through your cheeks, giving you a sense of security you've never felt with other people. Other than him. As if giving you the courage the finish your sentence, you managed to whisper the last remaining words, although breaking eye contact with him and focusing on the ground instead.
"I couldn't bear seeing you... with someone else other than me... I'm sorry... I'm so sorry... I'm such a bad friend, I'm a horrible person..." As you somehow managed to finish your sentence, you broke down crying for probably who knows how many times today, albeit more hysterically than the other times. You couldn't hold it anymore. You felt like crashing out, as if everything around you just fell apart, but a part of you was relieved to finally be able to tell him the main reason why you didn't talk to him anymore.
You barely noticed when Shuichi hugged you, gently patting your head and placing it on top of his chest, while whispering words of reassurance and comfort. Your cries had turned into yelling, and you were pretty sure that the people from the room next to yours were going to complain about the noise, but you didn't care. You couldn't care about it.
Shuichi's heart was beating fast, as fast as the last time he embraced you, as fast as the last time he held your hands, as fast as the last time the two of you had been together. You could hear his breathings, could feel his heartbeat, could smell his scent, and his warmth... And his figure shaking. But no matter how fast Shuichi's heartbeats were, nothing could have prepared him for what you were going to say next.
"I didn't want you to leave me, I didn't want to lose you. I never wanted to move out. I was scared, Shuichi, I was scared," you whispered, trying to catch your breath after the violent crying, yet your voice was still broken and shaky. "I was scared of what I might do. I was scared of myself... my emotions... my feelings... my love for you. I was so scared of loving you this much, Shuichi, and I still am," you were unable to stop the words from pouring out of your mouth, even if it meant ruining everything between the two of you. "I still love you. I always did. I love you, Shuichi."
Your words echoed throughout the entire room, and the only sound left after was the sound of the rain, slowly tapping the glass window. You hadn't even noticed the weather's change. The silence was deafening. You weren't sure what to expect, especially after admitting that you've been in love with him all this time, yet still ignoring him. You were sure he was going to leave you, that he was going to reject you. Maybe he'll even get mad at you, yell at you, tell you that you were just a nuisance this whole time and he's glad to have left such a creep as yourself out from his current life.
But instead, you were met with his warm lips crashing into yours.
You smiled against your own reflection on the windows, as the train heading for your hometown was only a few minutes from reaching its destination. You weren't sure if it was out of nervousness, or you were just simply that excited to meet him, again. It's been a few months since your family moved out from town, and as much as you missed Shuichi, you two always managed to find a way to meet up whenever your schedule allows it. Well, your life was a monotonous one, as Shuichi was the only thing filling your free time up for as long as you can remember. You wouldn't mind taking the train every single day, if it meant you could be blessed with the sight of his smile in person. You didn't mind at all.
This time, however, was a bit special as you didn't notify him of your arrival. One of your teachers cancelled their classes for some reason, so your class finished a few hours earlier than the intended time. What better way to kill time other than sneaking on the first train to your hometown?
You didn't intend for it to be a surprise, per say, but you couldn't deny the excitement of being able to see his cute, surprised face once he sees you, as you would be waiting for him in front of his high school.
You couldn't wait to see him. You couldn't wait to hold him. You couldn't wait to claim Shuichi as yours in front of his new classmates. Just the thought of it made you grin wider, as you fixed your bangs with your smartphone's reflection before stepping out of the train. You noticed that you were running out of battery, but it shouldn’t matter as you could just charge it at Shuichi’s place.
The walk from the station to his high school was a mere 10 minute walk, but considering how excited you were to meet your best friend, your steps were a bit faster than usual, and you found yourself almost running.
Ah, Shuichi...
You were confident that the two of you were basically inseparable. You believed that the two of you were meant for each other. You were so hopeful that the bond the two of you shared will last forever. You knew that you were the most important person in his life.
Or at least, that's what you thought.
What you saw when you reached the high school gates made your eyes open wide, as you immediately crouched and hid behind the wall, hiding your mouth behind your hands.
Standing there was a beautiful girl, wearing the same high school uniform as Shuichi. Her blond hair was long and silky, her face was beautifully shaped, her skin was smooth and spotless, her hands were dainty and her lips were a bright, beautiful shade of pink. She was walking next to Shuichi as the two of them walked past the school gates, exchanging words. She was laughing. Shuichi was blushing.
Shuichi seemed to have gotten close with his new classmate. Too close.
You didn't understand. You didn't want to understand. You didn't want to believe what you were seeing, so you decided to look away, hoping that everything was just another fever dream of yours.
This couldn't be happening. There was no way. Shuichi had always been an introvert, there was no way he could have made such a close friend in only a few weeks of attending his new school.
You were his only friend. You knew that. You knew that because you’d observed him his whole life. You should have been the one exchanging words with him. You should have been the one causing him to blush. You should have been the one wearing the same school uniform as him. You should have been the one standing that close next to him, as you always did, for as long as you can remember.
Something inside you had just snapped.
Before you realized, your legs had brought you far away from his school. Far, far away, as if it was trying to erase every memory of him that you had, as if it was trying to run away from him. How foolish of you, to have assumed that you were important to him. How naive of you, to have assumed that you meant anything to him. How stupid of you, to have assumed that he loved you as well. You thought you were his only one.
If he wished for it, you would have done anything for him. You would have found a part-time job in your hometown and rented a flat just so you could stay next to him. If he asked for it, you'd drop out of your current school in a heartbeat, defy your parents and go live with him and his uncle, in his agency. If he begged for it, you would do anything, anything, for him.
But it didn't matter anymore. Those silly, insignificant, disgusting feelings of yours for him never, ever mattered. To him. Nothing ever mattered. He had already replaced you with someone more beautiful than you. Someone who wasn't as twisted, as cunning, as repulsive as you. Someone who shone beautifully among the mass, even though you hated to admit it, someone who was far more worthy of being next to him than you.
You kept running. You kept panting. You kept bumping into people. You kept crying.
You weren’t sure what time it was when you stepped into your home, the sky already darkened and filled with bright, shining stars. You were supposed to share this view with Shuichi tonight. Instead, you stared into your ceiling, looking like a corpse as your eyes looked lifeless, empty, and filled with despair. You didn't even remember how you got home. You could feel your mother's worried gaze when you walked past the front door and heard her voice asking you if everything was okay, but you couldn't bring yourself to answer. Instead, you excused yourself and locked yourself in your bedroom, throwing your body on your bed, hugging the pillow, as your tears slowly flowed out of your eyes, falling on your bedsheets.
You ignored everything around you. Your mother knocking on your door, your shaky breathing, your urge to end everything. But you couldn't ignore your phone lighting up with a specific sound notification, right after charging it. It was one that you had specifically set for Shuichi, for whenever he sent you a message.
The notification tone kept ringing, again, and again, and again. Each time, you could feel your chest tighten a little more, and your tears were flowing harder and harder. After ignoring his 5th message, Shuichi had called you. Seeing the incoming call screen, a picture of both of you, made your heart sink into deep, deep pain, and before you could think, you had pressed the red button on your smartphone, hanging up on him. Your smartphone's lockscreen was another picture of you two. You couldn't bear it anymore and decided to turn your phone off.
Little did the both of you know that you wouldn't converse anymore. At least, not like before.
After ignoring his calls and messages for a few days, you had to answer as he had phoned your mother and asked for your whereabouts, thinking of coming to your new town just to check on you, apparently extremely worried for you. You would rather die than to see him.
Having no other choice, you had to come up with excuses while slowly taking distances with him, to the point of ignoring his existence. He was devastated, but it was the only way you could make sure he was never going to be involved with you, and more importantly, with those disgusting and twisted thoughts and feelings you had. A few months has passed, and after leaving his last message on seen, it seemed like he has stopped messaging you.
Good.
You couldn't bring yourself to be near him, or anywhere near him. You couldn't allow yourself to fall any deeper, couldn't allow yourself to become any more obsessive over him, couldn't allow yourself to become any more disgusted with yourself. You convinced yourself this was for the best, for both of you. You didn't know what had gone wrong. You didn't know when everything had gone wrong. But you knew you weren't worthy of being near him ever again, of looking fondly into his eyes ever again, of holding his hands firmly ever again, of hugging him shyly ever again, of kissing him on the cheeks playfully ever again. Not when all you could think of was how the love you held for him, the love that was always so pure, that was always so innocent, could have turned into something this obsessive, this tainted, this filthy, this unworthy of him.
You didn't want to hurt Shuichi because you loved him more than anything in this world. You were tired of Shuichi hurting you, because of this love you bore for him.
But most of all, you were scared that if you found out the truth about whatever relationship that blonde girl and Shuichi had going on, you would end up hurting her. Someone who was precious to Shuichi. Someone who was a much better version of you.
Someone who could do what you could not. And that was to stay by his sides.
His lips were still firmly placed on yours. As soon as your eyes had closed, his hands cupped both of your cheeks and pulled your face closer, deepening the kiss. He had a firm grasp on your head, not allowing you to pull back, not even to catch your breath, as if he had been waiting for this moment for his whole life. Forever. He seemed like he wanted more, much more, and he was taking advantage of your lips being slightly parted. His lips were soft, wet, and gentle, yet the kiss felt rough, urgent, and the movements were aggressive. It wasn't like the innocent kisses he had given you in the past, the ones you've received on the forehead and the cheeks, and definitely not like the one he gave you earlier in the streets.
But, despite the aggressiveness of his kiss, it still felt gentle, sweet, and tender to you. It was everything you could ever wish for, everything you've always wanted, and you were unable to resist it, unable to stop yourself from letting out a soft moan. His lips were perfect for yours, his figure was perfect for yours, his palms fit perfectly into your cheeks, his scent was perfect, his breathing, his eyes, him, and everything, every single thing, was perfect, and so, so right. Ah, you were going to die right here, right now, right in this instance. You loved him so much.
You were so immersed in the kiss that you hadn't noticed your back had hit the hotel bed. You were so immersed in his touch that you didn't question yourself, or himself, as of why he would do such a thing. Why he was still bothering with you. Why he didn't find you disgusting, repulsive, for being such a jealous person. Although you couldn't help it.
You had barely any oxygen left in your lungs, but you could care less. Ah, you wouldn't mind if you died right now from suffocation. It would be a pleasure, an honor. You would be the happiest human being to have ever lived if you died because of Shuichi.
The only time he had parted his lips from yours, the only time the two of you had caught your breaths, was when he had started to unbutton his white shirt. It was the first time you were able to take a proper look at him, at his slender body, outside of the few times the two of you went to the pool.
His chest was slim, his collarbones were clearly visible, and his abs were faint, yet present, giving him a somewhat manly yet still very gentle vibe. You had never seen him in such a state, his face clearly red from all the making out, his breath shaky, panting, needy. And it was enough to make you reach your point of no return.
He leaned his face towards yours once again, as the both of you are now laying down onto the hotel bed. You could feel his breath brushing your lips as he whispered softly into your ears, his voice low and sultry, making you tremble from head to toe, as the sensation ran through your entire body.
"I'll show you how much I love you, okay? Please, don't ever think of leaving me ever again," his voice was gentle, but his words were harsh. "Let's be together forever."
You moaned and nodded as he had started to kiss you again, his hand roaming around your body, exploring it, while the other was pinning your hand against the mattress. His kisses trailed off as he started to breath next to your sensitive neck, making you flinch from the sudden pleasure. As if acknowledging it, Shuichi started to lick your neck down to your collarbones, while his hand was busy unbuttoning your school uniform. His fingers were gentle, but his lips were rough and greedy, leaving marks wherever they were. Your moans became louder as his kisses reached your chest; his hand having undone the remaining buttons. You should be worried about him leaving marks on your body like this without your consent, but you knew that you would say yes to anything, anything Shuichi asked. You would agree to anything he didn't ask either. He could do anything to you, he didn't even have to ask. He was just that special to you. You were just that much in love with him.
"Please, don't... Ah, ahh, no, don't look," you couldn't help but cover your face with the back of your arm, as he had lifted your bra and started to fondle with your chest, his fingers playing with your nipple, the cold air of the hotel room gently brushing over your skin, resulting in goosebumps all over your body. Shuichi ignored your request, of course, as he freed his fingers from your nipple to grab your wrist and pin it down next to your head, making sure you were not able to hide anything from him.
You cried out as he had taken your nipple into his mouth, licking, sucking, and nibbling on it while maintaining eye contact with you. You felt obligated to open your teary eyes in order to meet his, as if he had given you an order. He smiled at your reaction, his expression was smug, full of pride and lust. He loved seeing you pinned down like this, he loved teasing you, loved seeing how you were reacting to his every move. Loved seeing you being his and only his. He'd deserve this after all these years of ghosting, right?
His eyes were still locked on you as he pinned both of your hands with a single hand, the other one finding their way into your panties, rubbing and sliding between your wet folds, causing your toes to curl from pleasure. The expression you had on your face was a divine one, to Shuichi. You were beautiful, no, gorgeous, so incredibly stunning, as you were underneath him, crying, moaning, squirming. He loved the way you called his name, the way you pleaded, the way you looked so embarrassed, the way you looked so needy for him. Your tears were the cutest, and Shuichi couldn't resist leaning down to lick them away, causing you to let out a soft, weak sob.
"You're really cute, you know...? But deep down, I've always hated seeing you crying," Shuichi muttered, his voice low and quiet, as if talking to himself, "It doesn't matter if it's from sadness, or from happiness, or... pleasure," his smile curved upwards, forming a smirk, as he abruptly pulled the fabrics of your underwear tightly onto your slit. You cried from pain, or pleasure, you weren't even sure anymore. Your brain was clouded, and your thoughts were incoherent, as your entire mind was filled with nothing but him.
"Sh-Shuichi- ah, ahh- I-I can't," you whined, feeling like you were going to pass out any second from now on. You felt like a pathetic mess, unable to control your body's reactions. Your moans were uncontrollable, and the pleasure was becoming too much for your mind to handle. Your entire body was burning up, and your legs were trembling, your thighs wet from the juices that have been oozing out of your core. You probably looked like an animal in heat, as you rolled your eyes once again when his fingers brushed your clit.
"Don't worry, I'll take good care of you. Let me hear more of your lovely voice," Shuichi said, as his lips met yours once again, muffling your moans. He could feel you shaking, could hear your desperate cries and pleas, could smell the scent of your arousal, could taste the drool on the corners of your lips, and could tell that you were close to your climax, despite barely touching you directly. You were so desperate for him, it was laughable. You were so in love with him, it was marvelous.
His fingers had found their way inside you, as he could feel your insides pulsating around his digits. The feeling was overwhelming as he moaned against the sensation of your walls, as he didn't expect you to be this tight, warm, and slippery. Despite how confident he wanted to show off, his quivering moans betrayed him, along with his blushing face. His breathing was fast, matching the pace of the movements of his fingers. His fingers were long, thin, and bony, yet the sensation it brought was something else. As if Shuichi knew your body perfectly, he curled the tip of his fingers for them to hit a specific spot, one that sent you into a new wave of pleasure, arching your back as you screamed, the stimulation too much for your body to handle.
"Sh-Shuichi, I'm gonna- ahhh, n-no, stop, it feels too good… I’m sorry, ugh, aah, I-,” you cried as you tried to break free from his grasp, overwhelmed by the sensation, but Shuichi's grip on you was too strong, his fingers were still moving rapidly, hitting that same spot, as the knot in your stomach grew tighter and tighter, ready to snap any second. You couldn't handle the stimulation anymore, the pleasure was too intense, too much for your body, too much for your mind, and the last thing you saw before cumming was Shuichi's smile.
As soon as the knot in your stomach snapped, the sensation of pleasure and euphoria washed over you, the orgasm washing over you as well. You came hard, hard and loud, moaning Shuichi's name, over and over and over and over, again and again, as if it was the only word you were able pronounce, as if it was the only vocabulary you had in that damned brain of yours. Too busy riding out your orgasm, you hadn't noticed that Shuichi had pulled his fingers out in a hurry as he gasped in shock, watching his own digits being covered with your clear liquids, dripping onto the bedsheets, staining them.
Your body twitched and shuddered, still sensitive from the orgasm, as Shuichi's other hand had released you from his grasp. He looked at you, his eyes wide and his mouth gaped, and as you had regained consciousness, your eyes met, and he couldn't help but blush.
"Wow, I can't believe I made you… squirt," his voice was shaky, as he was still in awe, as if the words he was muttering were directed to himself, instead of you. "You're so dirty... You're so, so filthy..." he added, and as his eyes met yours, his voice trailed off. "You're so cute."
Shuichi couldn't contain himself, as his fingers found their way into his own mouth, tasting your juices. He seemed to enjoy the taste, as he licked and sucked on them, before taking them out with a trail of saliva connecting his digits to his tongue. Still unsure to what had just happened, you gathered all your strength to get up from the bed, only to be in disbelief to the sight that was presented in front of your very eyes.
Not only your panties were ruined, but a huge wet spot was also present on the bedsheets, liquid still dripping onto the floor. The lower part of his pants was wet as well. Very wet. You just squirted all over the place, all over him. You didn't even know you were capable of doing that, yet here you were, in complete awe and disbelief.
"Sh-Shuichi, I'm so sorry- I-" you wanted to apologize, as the mess was mostly caused by you, but you couldn't, as the words got stuck in your throat when you heard him laugh.
"Don't apologize. You're so cute, really," he said, cupping your cheek with one of his hands. His fingers were still wet, as the back of his palm touched your cheeks, making you shiver from the coldness. "I'm glad I was able to make you feel good."
Shuichi's smile was genuine. You felt like you were going to cry, as you felt extremely overwhelmed, your chest swelling with affection. It's been so long since he has looked at you like this, you thought. It's been too long since he has smiled like this, he thought; and the only thing he could think of was how badly he's missed you, and how much you had fallen for him.
"Well, it seems like I have no other choice than to remove these...," Shuichi mumbled, referring to his trousers, which had gotten soaked due to you. The two of you exchanged smiles, and Shuichi had begun to take his remaining clothes off. His shirt had already been off, and the sight of him only in his boxers made you gulp. You thankfully didn't soak his boxers up, as your eyes trailed off his slim waist down to his thighs, and your gaze stopped when you noticed the bulge. "...Do you want to help me?"
You could feel your heart pounding, and your cheeks turned bright red, as Shuichi had grabbed your hand and guided it towards his bulge, placing it on top of it, before placing his hands on top of yours, and started to move them. The bulge felt big, firm, and warm, as the two of you were now moving your hands, stroking his clothed member; you could see a small wet spot starting to form on the fabrics, most likely from his precum. You could feel his dick twitch from underneath your touch, and you could see the way his mouth parted, his breathing ragged and unsteady.
He was adorable.
"Ugh, ah, y-your hands feel so good... I-I think I might...," Shuichi whined, his face was flushed red and his eyes were cloudy, drool starting to form at the corner of his lips. Seeing him in such a state was enough to turn you on again, and you wanted to see more of his expressions. More of his flustered face. More of his desperate voice. More of him. More, more, more... "I can't hold it anymore, can I take this off?"
He was asking for your permission, as his thumb had already reached for under his waistband. The sight was tempting, and you couldn't help but nod in approval. Shuichi took his boxers off, and his erection sprung out, precum leaking out from the tip. His member was... pretty, to say the least. It wasn't gruesomely big, nor was it tiny, and it had the perfect length, shape, and color, although it was probably a bit longer and thicker than average. As if he has been waiting to for this moment since a long time, Shuichi let out a satisfied sigh as his dick was finally freed from his boxers, painfully erect and already twitching.
You could tell that he was nervous, and a bit ashamed, but as you held his member and began to stroke it, the other hand cupping and fondling his balls, he relaxed into your touch, his back arching as he leaned closer to you, resting his head onto your shoulder.
"You're so good, please, ah, don't stop, I- ahh, aah, nn, I'm-" his moans were muffled by his own hands, placed on his mouth to cover his whines, but he failed to do so as his voice still escaped through them. He was panting and sweating, his entire body quivering and twitching, his hips buckling and thrusting forward. You were too focus on working your hands on him to notice the tears forming in his eyes, as if his demeanor early when he fingered you until you almost passed out was nothing but a mere act, the real Shuichi was now begging, moaning, whining, and crying underneath your touch, and the realization was enough to send chills down your spine.
"Ugh, your hands, they feel so good, aah... I love how you touch me... N-no, don't stop, it feels too good, I'm-," Shuichi's moans turned into loud whines when you put the tip of his cock into your mouth, placing your warm tongue on the underside of the head, swirling your tongue around the tip as you continued to work your hands on his shaft. "Argh...! Y-Your mouth...! I'm, aah, I'm close, so- mmph, no, I won't be able to hold long like, this... I-I'm going to...," he managed to say between his broken whimpers, and the fact that his cock was now twitching and throbbing against your tongue was enough to indicate that he was reaching his limit, but instead of stopping, you had quickened the pace.
Shuichi has done everything in his power to not just grab your head and push your face deeper, deeper until he could feel your nose touching his pubes, so he instead decided to just grab your hair and pull your face closer, while his hips were buckling and thrusting. Your eyes widened in surprise, but you didn't stop, instead, you hollowed your cheeks and started bobbing your head faster, and faster, and faster, until you felt his grip tightening, and his legs were trembling.
Your mouth was a perfect fit for him, as the curves of his cock reached the perfect spots just before your throats, not enough to gag you but enough to send him over the edge. You were so, so perfect for him, and he felt so close, so close, as his breathings became more and more irregular, his panting becoming heavier and heavier. It took him everything to not just moan pathetically.
"Mmmph... Nn... Ahh, ah, I'm coming-! R-Right now, I-! A-Ah-!" Shuichi's grip on your hair tightened as he cried out in pleasure, and his entire body trembled and quivered, not bothering to restrain his voice anymore, as his cum spurted out, some of them landing in your mouth while the others landed on your face, staining your skin and your body overall.
You were taken aback, not expecting the amount of cum Shuichi was able to produce, and not knowing whether to spit or swallow.
No, you knew there was only one choice presented to you in this current situation, and without any hesitation, you opened your mouth wide as if to let him confirm just how much seed he has spilled into your mouth, only to close it again in order to swallow everything that Shuichi had to offer.
It tasted divine. Sweet and salty, thick and creamy, it was everything that you could dream of, and you moaned in pleasure as you kept drinking. The taste wasn't something you were used to, but it was so incredibly good that you kept gulping down all his cum, letting your tongue lick at his cockhead and balls, cleaning up every single drop of semen. Without forgetting to wipe the cum that was on your body with your fingers, of course, before inserting them into your mouth to get a taste of the mess. You couldn't help but moan as your lips met his fluids, the taste now mixing with your own taste, before licking your fingers clean.
Shuichi was too astonished at the sight of you to say anything, as he watched you with wide eyes, swallowing everything that came out of his cock with hearts in your pupils. He expected you to be a little mad for straight up ejaculating into your mouth without warning, but for his defense it took him everything in his power to not just deepthroat you, especially when presented with the sight of you, mouth full of his cock and sucking on it as if you were born to do that.
"Aha... Shuichi, look at this big mess you've made," you said, smiling at his blushing face, his own saliva dripping down along the shape of his chin. He could hear the way you were laughing and giggling about it, and how your hips were beginning to gyrate, a sign that you were getting more and more aroused, even if you tried to deny it.
Which you wouldn't, of course.
The thought of having sex with you, to use a common euphemism, was so appealing to him that it was difficult to contain himself; as if agreeing with his thoughts, his member twitched once again, pulsating desperately despite having just ejaculated a few moments earlier. He was so down for you; it was almost ridiculous.
"You didn't even ask me if you could cum inside my mouth... Could you not control yourself?"
"Hm... n-no...," Shuichi stuttered, looking away from you, as if ashamed for being unable to keep himself from cumming earlier; and you could tell from the sound of his voice that he was already hard again. How cute. "I'm sorry... Y-You didn't have to swallow it, you know...? I-It's okay...," he mumbled, as sweat beaded on his forehead, his breathing becoming shallower and shallower, and his muscles tense. "Nn, a-anyways, I'll make up for it, in some way-"
"No, no, I like the taste of your cum... Don't worry about it, really," you said, giggling a little, the sight of you smiling made him smile back. You were so cute. "I love everything from you, Shuichi. Everything, anything... And besides, consider it my apology for accidentally squirting on your clothes earlier," you said, lifting your leg up against his crotch, gently brushing your skin against his member in a teasing manner, making him gasp, before placing your feet back on the ground, giving your childhood friend an opportunity to regain his composure. "Come here..."
As soon as you said that, you flipped over on the bed so your belly would be facing the bedsheets, sticking your ass up high. Shuichi had removed most of your clothes, but your knee socks were still on as they accentuated your thighs, the edges of the fabrics sucking your flesh in nicely. You had always wondered whether Shuichi like it or not when you wear high socks, and this gave you the perfect chance to find out.
When you had heard Shuichi groan in response, you then understood just how much your childhood friend loved seeing you in those thigh-highs. Shuichi knelt down on the bed in order to help you get a better position, your knees still weak from the orgasm you've received earlier, as his member was now only a few centimeters away from your crotch, still covered with your soaked panties.
"I-I'll remove those, okay...?" Shuichi seemed hesitant, and you couldn't help but respond with a nod, as you sighed and closed your eyes. You could feel him carefully pulling the panties off, his finger tugging at the elastic fabric, but as soon as he pulled them down a little, your hips were automatically pressed onto his crotch, seeking for friction, for which the both of you let out a moan. That had quickly removed the remainder of Shuichi's patience. "Ugh, y-you can't just do that and expect me to... We don't-"
"Please, let me just... hng, I'm so wet," you were already going to beg, as if you weren't desperate enough, already humping onto his dick, your lips starting to wrap around the base of his member. "I- I can't stand it anymore, Shuichi, please. We've already gotten this far... Just do it, insert it, please..."
And it was exactly what Shuichi was waiting for, of course. He gently grabbed your hips and positioned his erection to your entrance further, rubbing the tip in circles, agonizingly slow as if wanting to tease you, to tease himself, to tease the both of you. You, on the other hand, couldn't wait any longer as you whined and tried to grind against his member, pressing your butt flush against his pelvis, savoring in the sensation of his dick leaving a trail of precum against the length of your pussy.
"We don't, agh... We don't have a condom...," Shuichi groaned, forcing the words out of his mouth, his gaze dropping low. He sounded desperate, almost guilty, as he uttered each of the words in a tone of obvious impatience. "But if you're fine with it, I'll cum inside you... Is that okay...?"
As if betraying his own words, Shuichi held your hips with such a strong grip that his fingers were digging into your flesh, probably leaving some kind of marks, as if he were more than ready to enter inside you, you and your pretty pussy, than anyone else in this world. He didn't even want to think about someone other than him touching you, tainting you with their filthy presence. You were special. You were made for him, and his pleasure only.
"Mm, p-please, I don't want you to pull out. Let's do it...," without thinking twice, you had whispered your answer, grinding your butt as a response, and you knew Shuichi would not be able to hold himself any longer, as his throbbing member slid under your butt and pushed its way past your tightness, and his dick had finally entered inside of you.
His groan was low and husky, expressing his satisfaction from the sensation of being engulfed by your warm walls, of him fitting so well inside you. He had dreamed of this exact instance for God knows how many times, of you, of fucking you, and now that he's getting just what he's been craving for, he didn't even bother taking his time slowly going deep. Instead, in a very uncharacteristic way of his, Shuichi didn't hesitate one bit and had thrust his dick deep down inside you, making you scream from the sudden insertion, not giving you even a moment to adjust to his size and all its perfection.
He loved, loved, absolutely loved hearing your screams. And he also loved the feeling of your insides, so soft and warm, pulsating and twitching all around him, making him feel so wanted.
"Agh, ugh, aah-... Y-You're so tight, so tight, it feels so good, so good...," Shuichi moaned out, as his breathing was coming out quick and hitched, as he rested his head onto your back, his chest feeling tight as he struggled to breathe in the pleasure. "T-This, uhm, it's... even better than, ah, anything I've ever dreamed of, a-ah," he admitted, letting out a whine as he adjusted his grip, spreading your legs apart with his knees and started to thrust faster and harder, his breathing ragged and broken.
You couldn't help but be rendered a complete moaning mess, filling the hotel room with more and more lewd noises; the sound of flesh slapping against each other, bodies merging into one, skin sliding against skin, mouths moaning each other’s names, was loud, sinful, and downright filthy. What would have people think of the two of you if they were to ever catch sight of this certain scene? There were no other words than two animals in heat in a mating cycle, ready to impregnate their partners and satisfy their needs. But instead of two separate individuals, their hearts were intertwined. They were partners of life. Lovers.
Ah, you were losing it.
The pain of having your first time borrowed in such a quick and brutal way had subsided as the feeling of ecstasy took over, your hole being filled over and over, rubbing against every small part inside you as it pressed up and hit your G-spot, stimulating you both inside and out as the cock moved in and out rhythmically. Shuichi was pushing in and out at such a harsh and fast pace, but at the same time, he made sure to hit that spot just right, knowing you were more sensitive than ever, sending you into a delirious state of pleasure.
And yet, the physical part wasn't what pushed you over the edges. The emotional part was.
You never ever thought you would be able to be with him ever again, especially not bent over and your ass bouncing on his cock. You loved Shuichi so much, so much, that you couldn't even feel the physical pleasure that surged through your body. It was replaced by the strong sensation of desire, of love, of affection, as you were basked with such an unimaginable happiness that even the realism of him being so deep inside of you was unbelievable. You wouldn't mind if you died today, once again. Having sex with the love of your life, Shuichi, like this, and so intimately, as you could feel the electricity pulsating through your whole body as he ground his hips against yours, crying for more, desperate to find an outlet for your rising fervor.
Ah, Shuichi, Shuichi, Shuichi... The love of your life... The one that makes your heart flutter, the person who is the prettiest to you... You wanted more. You needed more. You didn't want him to stop, and you didn't want this moment to ever end.
You thought it was so silly of him to have asked you if you minded that he was fucking you raw. He could do whatever he wanted to you, of course. If he wanted to do it raw, he could. If he wanted to fuck your womb full of his cum, he could. He should. If he wanted you to have his baby, he could. He should. He would.
How foolish of him to have asked you if you didn't mind that there were no condoms. You'd make sure to poke holes on them anyway if he decided to ever wear one, because you didn't want him to fuck a piece of artificial latex between his cock and your walls, and you didn't want a piece of plastic to be what pumps his semen into you, which should all loaded into you, because you loved Shuichi so, so, so very much, after all. No one gets to cover his body heat, his dick, his perfectly hard and delicious cock, his everything, especially not an inanimate piece of rubber.
Ah, the mere thought of a condom parting your entrances and covering the warmth of his member made you feel sick and disgusted. But it couldn't be helped, because you were just that much in love with him, right?
As if trying to stop your trails of thoughts, Shuichi had leaned forward in order to place his head next to your ear, making both of your bodies pressed against the mattress, and his thrusts had become rougher, and deeper, much messier and more quickened with the sound of flesh hitting against each other grew louder.
"Uh, um, aah... Shit, this is too good, you feel amazing, ah, aah... If you keep feeling so good like this, I-... I won't be able to last," he croaked, a soft whine escaping his lips as he whispered the following sentence directly onto your ears, making you shiver in excitement. "D-Do you have any idea how good you feel, all wrapped around my cock...? Uh, I-I wish I could live inside you, ah, and, hng, oh God, come over and, come over... to you, o-oh fuck, aah... more... I've wanted this forever, uh, mnh, so badly, since forever..."
"Ah, S-Shuichi... It's fine, ugh, ah-, we can do this everyday from now on, if you want to... I'm all yours, you know that… I-I've always loved you, ever since we were, agh, kids, you know... I love you so much...," you stuttered, your legs were shaking as the pleasure was reaching your core, and a familiar feeling began to resurface. "I've dreamed of you having sex with me like this as well, for too, agh, too many times... I've never ever pleasured myself while thinking of someone else other than you...! Oh, Shuichi..."
Your words seemed to have motivated Shuichi somehow, as his pace had become even faster and more vigorous, hitting the same spot continuously, his sweat-slicked body covering yours as he nuzzled his cheek on your head, as if hiding himself from your statements.
He was embarrassed, not from your words, but because he couldn't count the number of times he jerked off at the thought of you as well. The amount of time he's spent, wasting his semen and energy, trying to satisfy his urges to you while dreaming of defiling you was too much for him to think. The amount of time he fantasized about you bent over, in his agency, in his desk at school, in his bed at home, were way too many to think about. So many times he had stayed up late jerking off while looking at your pretty pictures, so many times he had stalked your social medias just to get another grip of your beautiful, matured face and body, imagining his dirty hands trailing all over them, touching you, tainting you the way he's been wanting to.
"Me too, agh-... Nn, o-of course, of course, of course...! There's no one, aah, no one, other than you," Shuichi moaned, his breaths ragged, unable to speak out the whole sentence due to him being out of breath from all the thrusting. He felt his orgasm approaching, and as if your womb did too, it suddenly sucked his dick in, engulfing the poor organ within its insides, and he was certain that he could no longer hold it. "Ah, um... I, I won't be able to hold for much longer like this, a-ah, are you... are you going to cum, as well?"
"Hmph, yes, Shuichi... P-Please, let me cum with you, together, together... Aahh... P-Please, hurry, I-I want you to fill me... with your cum," as you said that, you quickened the thrust of your own hips and bounced your butt around his length, allowing it to reach further down inside you. You could feel his throbbing dick expanding a little bit within you, and as the thrusts of his hips have begun to be erratic, you tried your best to match your breathings and the movement of your own hips with his, moving in unison in a synchronized rhythm, ready to climax together.
When you had rubbed your thighs and increased the speed of your fingers on your clit, Shuichi took it as a signal that you were already close; he had, of course, wasted no time to increase his speed and roughen up his strokes. He couldn't hold it anymore, and you couldn't either.
"Hmph, I'm cumming, argh-, aah...! Fuck...! Take it all in- aagh, aah, um, aah...!" Shuichi felt his vision growing hazy, his legs were quivering as his body trembled along with your shaky, unsteady moans, the sweat rolling down his neck and onto your own. Your orgasm sent shivers down your spine, but Shuichi's strong climax rendered you completely powerless, as he pounded into you and finished up, his seed directly inside your cunt made him moan out loud, as if overwhelmed from the orgasm.
Hearing his moans, feeling his dick twitching within your tightness, along with the sensation of warm liquid flooding inside your vagina was way too much; the spasms coming from your sensitive walls squeezed the remaining fluids out of his cock, only to reward him with a large and intense amount of pressure around his cock, making both you and Shuichi cry out in pleasure, body and mind, as you milked his shaft for everything that it's got.
Despite wanting nothing more than to keep cumming all over inside of you, Shuichi let out one last thrust before sliding his length out of you, leaving your gaping hole unable to close as cum was squirting out and dripping onto the mattress. You weren't sure what kind of expression your face was making, but you were sure it wasn't something a young girl such as you should be able to make. You could hear yourself wheezing as you tried to breathe, tears doing their best to not escape your eyelids, more and more drool forming at the corner of your mouth; the pleasure-filled buzz still overwhelming you as your body was sensitive, legs shaking slightly and your eyes rolled over.
Shuichi was also out of breath, but kept his eyes on your figure as if wanting to burn this image into his memory, hands holding his own member as he began to stroke himself once more. He felt his member being more sensitive as it convulsed, giving out the last bit of semen left, hitting against your beautiful backside, before reducing its hardness and going limp, making Shuichi fall forward onto you.
Laying his head onto your back, which was equally drenched with sweat, Shuichi could feel your steady breaths beneath him, before his vision faded into darkness, eyelids getting heavier and heavier, unconsciousness overtaking his body. He couldn't just fall asleep like this, he can't, he wants to be with you, he can't just fall asleep like this, he doesn't want you to leave him again. Ever. He wouldn't be able to take it.
"Mm... stay here with me...," Shuichi whispered, his lips caressed your skin, sending goosebumps up your whole body. "Nn... Let's stay together forever, like this... Please...," he added, burying his head deeper into the crook of your neck, as he felt tears forming at the corners of his eyes. "Don't leave me alone ever again, please... I don't... I don't ever, want to live without you ever again... I want you to be by my side, forever, and forever...," he sobbed, one of his arms hugged your waist and pulled you against his body. "I can't bear being without you... Not again... Please, be with me..."
"S-Shuichi...? Are you okay...?" You murmured, as you gently turned your body around to face him, one hand brushing away the hair that was stuck on his face. You couldn't do anything other than to listen to his weak whispers, as you smiled and extended your arm to pet his head, caressing his hair, trying to make him feel as comfortable as possible before his inevitable sleep, hoping for a peaceful slumber. But before that, he had to tell you something. Something he's always wanted to tell you, forever, since the two of you were kids, since the first day he met you. Since the first time you smiled at him.
"...I love you," Shuichi softly said, his eyes still closed but his smile was sweet, as he opened his mouth to speak once more. "I love you, I love you, I love you, I love… you..."
Before you could even notice it, Shuichi had fallen asleep in your arms, his expression looking serene, eyes closed with long, dark eyelashes resting against his cheek, making him look even prettier, although his face was still stained with dried tears. He seemed so vulnerable to you. Tracing your finger over his dark circles underneath his eyes, you wondered whether he would be able to have a peaceful night today, at least; he was most likely feeling overwhelmed and exhausted from not only his side job as a detective, his last year of high school, but also from whatever was going on between you and him.
"…Me too," you whispered, as you leaned down and planted a small kiss onto the corner of his lips.
You could hear the rain outside getting louder and louder, as if trying to convince you to join Shuichi in his nap as well. The quiet sound of his rhythmic breathing, calming down from the heavy ones he's released earlier, relaxed your tense body and, before you knew it, you too had fallen into sleep, lulled to the sound of his heartbeat.
"Ah, you finally woke up... How are you feeling?"
As you opened your eyes and faced your surroundings, there was a bright figure that was standing in front of you, against the shine of the sun that reflected upon his body, his silky, shining dark hair and pretty, golden eyes glistening. The sunlight shone down upon his figure through the windows accentuated his features, a divine look in an almost angel-like being to your eyes. Although still sleepy and exhausted from whatever happened last night, you could still recognize his familiar lidded eyes, his thick and pretty eyelashes that fluttered as he blinked, and his face, his slight, gentle and subtle smile on his lips.
"Here, I made you some tea...," Shuichi was smiling at you, his gaze as soft as the fingers running through your hair gently brushed against your scalp, comforting and gentle. You glanced over and saw a cup of tea placed on top of the table on your right, before looking back to his figure. It smelled like Earl Gray with lemons. Your favorite.
You couldn't help but to press your head against his hand more, not realizing that you were showing a form of affection to Shuichi that made his smile even wider, even gentler. His smile was radiant, and it made your heart feel funny as a weird, light feeling filled your chest. You couldn't help but wonder if your sleeping face had pleased him somehow, considering the way he had stared at you so affectionately.
"Good morning, Shuichi... Thank you for the tea," you got up from the bed as you accepted the cup, the warmth of it spreading across the palms of your hand; and then the recollection of the previous night's event finally came back to you as you stared into the cup. "...Oh. Last night, um..."
"Yeah, sorry," Shuichi smiled apologetically, hanging his head down, as you felt his heat rising on his cheeks. "I didn't know what happened to me, to fall asleep like that, um... Haha, I guess I really was that tired, huh?"
"No, no, it's okay, really," you quickly responded, taking in more and more sips of the Earl Gray, before giving him an awkward smile. "It's, ahem... Well, I did fall asleep too, so it's not just you... Don't worry about it. Huh, no, that's not what I was going to ask you..."
You weren't sure if the words you heard from him yesterday, just before he fell asleep in your arms, were nothing more but your own stupid dreams, or perhaps they were true. Part of you felt guilty, wondering if you were the one who was delusional enough to have mistaken your childhood friend's mumbled speech as his sincere feelings and confession; yet at the same time, the fact that the words you wished to hear from him in so long, despite the circumstances it was muttered in, somewhat made you hopeful.
Shuichi, on the other hand, was also feeling nervous, as he started to fidget and look around aimlessly.
"...I do. I really do love you, you know?" Shuichi was the first one to finally say something, of course, as he seemed to have caught on your upcoming question even before you could manage to bring yourself to say the words. "I really want to stay with you, if you don't mind. So..."
Shuichi couldn't hide the slight blush creeping up his cheeks, his words dying down in his throat, unable to keep on speaking. But even without words, you understood his intentions, the emotions behind them. Even since the two of you were kids, Shuichi was never one to speak his thoughts out properly; but he showed it through his actions, his presence, his silent support, and he would always be your source of comfort, as much as you have been his unknowingly.
And it was all because of his love to you, just like how you've loved him more than anyone else. He also loved you more than anything else.
"Do you want to start dating, Shuichi?" You asked, quite straightforward, as if reading the thoughts that were whirling inside his head; Shuichi looked into you, with his eyes wide opened, wondering how you knew what he was going to say. Since the two of you were kids, there were countless times where you would finish sentences of his before he even had the chance to, countless times where you would ask him out for activities before he even had the courage to mention it, countless times where he felt that you completed him.
Although perhaps it was more because of your spot-on intuition about him, rather than any sort of talent.
"U-Um, yeah, actually, I wanted to ask that," Shuichi's lips were pulled upwards in a tiny smile, as his cheeks flushed, and his eyes shifted away shyly; his happiness was too much for him to contain, and he could feel his heart swell. "Of course I do, of course...!"
Unable to bear so much happiness, you couldn't help but to embrace him in a tight hug, causing both of you to fall on the hotel bed, his silky, scented hair rubbing against your nose; inhaling that wonderful scent of his, you felt your own heart racing. You were the happiest person on Earth, and you wouldn't trade this moment for any other in the world. Shuichi had hugged you back and returned your embrace, feeling like his heart could melt.
After realizing that there were still a few hours before the check-out time, you two opted for a quick shower together; you would spend the rest of the morning like how the two of you spent the times in your childhood; you told him about your current life, about your school life and activities, and he did so as well. Laying on the bed, you two embraced one another, your head on Shuichi's chest.
"Hey, Shuichi... Can I ask you a question...?" You rested your hand on his stomach, nervously rubbing the tip of your finger on his smooth skin. You weren't sure how to tackle the specific topic, but you knew you had to, for the sake of you and Shuichi's future together. You had to do this. "You see... Actually, I accidentally saw you close with a girl-"
"Don't worry about it, really. Trust me," Shuichi put his hand on your head as if to reassure you, the warmth of his palm against your scalp was calming. "It's nothing but a misunderstanding, really..."
Shuichi started to explain how he walked outside the gate with his classmate because they were assigned to work in a group, and that right as he walked outside he saw a glimpse of you, running in the opposite direction. Right away, he excused himself and broke contact with her, to chase after you, in vain: you were much faster than him, as Shuichi was never the athletic type. He attempted to phone you for several times, but it would send him directly to your voicemail. He attempted to text you, but the texts didn't go through. He was heartbroken when he realized that you might never want to talk to him again because of a stupid, silly misunderstanding, but he didn't want to force himself further, afraid of making you hate him.
"I missed you so much, really, so much...! When I found out you didn't want to talk to me anymore, I was so depressed," Shuichi sighed, his eyes were sad, his voice was low. "I felt horrible, really, but I couldn't do anything about it... It wasn't like I could just call or text you out of nowhere, you know? Especially since you weren't answering me..."
You nodded your head, understanding how much hurt was felt from the loss of his soulmate. "I get it, Shuichi... It was the same for me," you hugged him ever hard, a strain of tears leaking from the corners of your eyes. "I thought I'd never hear from you again... I'm sorry for being a jealous idiot."
Shuichi smiled at your apology. "You're not an idiot. I'm not that much of a saint either, you know...," you turned your face up towards Shuichi's and kissed his cheek, which made him cut his sentence halfway, happily leaning his cheek onto your lips. "I can't deny that I also felt really jealous, hearing that you have... had, a boyfriend. But you're all mine now, you know that?"
You giggled, putting your head back onto Shuichi's chest, snuggling against his skin. "I know. He meant nothing to me anyway, we barely ever held hands or kissed."
"I'm relieved to hear that, really." Shuichi couldn't help but to let a sigh escape from his lips, as he embraced your waist. His head was now up as his eyes were fixated on the ceiling, as if his thoughts were elsewhere. "I can't believe I get to date someone as beautiful as you... You were already cute since the first time I met you, but... You've really matured a lot, you know?" Shuichi bit his lips a little, the thought of you getting older made him... quite peculiar. "To be honest, I didn't even know if I was worth chasing after you, especially since I could tell you put a lot of efforts in your looks, unlike me-"
"Are you saying I've always looked awful before putting make-up on? That's not very nice of you, you know," you said as you let out a playful giggle, which made Shuichi flustered, and the man could feel his cheeks burn a little bit; "But that's untrue, Shuichi. I'm the one who feels undeserving of you."
"W-Well, I can definitely tell that you're pretty no matter what, for sure...," as if trying to correct himself from earlier, Shuichi put more weight into his words than he usually would. "You're pretty no matter what you do, whether you put make-up or not... B-But I can't help but to find you cute when you wear it, especially that new pink gloss of yours... I believe it was a Korean brand…"
You did wear make-up yesterday when meeting up with him, but after the two of you took shower this morning you've decided to spend your limited time with your lover instead of bothering to paint your face with layers and layers of foundation up. You were quite grateful that Shuichi found you pretty no matter what, even though you'd rather die than to tell him that you started taking care of your appearance because of that blonde girl you saw him with two years ago. But it doesn't matter anymore, anyway.
After cuddling for a bit, the two of you had no choice other than to leave the comfortable bed and to dress up, as the check-out time was quickly approaching. You took your favorite hairpin out of your bag and carefully placed it next to your bangs; Shuichi, having recognized it, let out a gentle smile upon realizing that you still kept his gift even after over a decade. You held hands as you stepped out from the hotel room, slowly walking down the stairs as Shuichi kept reminding you to be careful not to trip over.
"I've already mentioned it, but like I said earlier, we need to meet again," Shuichi gripped harder onto your hands, trying to ignore his own sweaty palms, as you felt his nervousness radiating through your fingertips. "...You still have my contacts, right? That's how you were able to send me a message, after all... Haha."
"I do. And I never deleted them, for that matter." You replied truthfully, and then you laughed along with him, patting his back to ease his nerves. The smile on your face was genuine, showing your true feelings towards him. Love, and nothing but love, albeit a bit extreme.
After successfully checking out, Shuichi sadly had to go back to his town as he had still some works left undone, having no choice than to accompany him to the train station. He asked for you ex-boyfriend's contact as well, but you just told him that it was unnecessary as you'd go to the police station as soon as possible in order to file a complaint. He eventually gave up after insisting a bit, not wanting to push you any further.
You assured him once more that you would be safe and the boy meant nothing to you, because it was Saihara Shuichi who stole your heart since day one, it was Saihara Shuichi who would always remain in your heart, even after death.
After giving him a farewell kiss and seeing his train disappear into the tunnel, you decided to go back home as well, walking down the road with a bounce in your steps and the chirping of songbirds echoing throughout the skies, a smile of satisfaction plastered onto your lips. You couldn't help but to unlock your phone though, which still had the same picture of you and Shuichi cheek and cheek against each other, forming smiles in front of the camera. You hadn't changed your lockscreen wallpaper ever, no matter how many times you changed your phone.
Upon opening your text application, which wasn’t the same as the one you used to contact Shuichi two days ago, you scrolled down far enough to see Shuichi's name pop out on the screen, feeling a tiny bit of guilt spreading across your chest. You've read his last message for who knows how many time. You knew it letter by letter. You knew it word by word. You knew every emotion behind it, every ounce of sadness and hurt within his soul as he had written it. You were the cause of it. The guilt festered, gnawing at your heart, causing a painful sting in your chest.
Shuichi – 00:26
I'm sorry for making you cry, again. I'm so sorry.
You still vividly remember crying right as you received that message two years ago, while clutching the very same hairpin you had placed in your hair today, holding Shuichi's very first gift to dear life. You remember breaking into tears even harder, as if that would be able to somehow lessen his pain as well. You couldn't believe how well-timed that message was, ironically.
You remember thinking about how horrible you were, how horrible he was, how horrible that girl was, how horrible everyone around you was. You felt betrayed, upset, and furious, even, especially when there was absolutely nothing you were even responsible for. You couldn't believe he was talking to girls when you weren't around. He wasn't allowed to, you didn't understand: Shuichi was supposed to be yours. Everything about him was supposed to belong to you, and you only.
"...But that girl. That stupid, awful, no-good girl, that cunt stole him away from me," you were fuming, as you accidentally let out a whisper of your inner thoughts; and you looked left and right, making sure that no one heard you. Relieved that no one else was around, your eyes darted on your phone screen once again, as if mesmerized by Shuichi's text message.
Shuichi was never the type to have friends. He was lonely, and pathetic, and spent way too much time reading alone on the school rooftop whenever you weren't there to accompany him; he was shy, and awkward, and if it wasn't for you, he would have been a social outcast. Saihara Shuichi was nobody without you, as much as you were nobody without him. That's why she couldn't just take him away like that.
But that didn't matter to you anymore.
You haven't recognized it at the time, but you know now, for a fact, that it was pure and true jealousy. You loved Shuichi more than anyone, but you hated him too, even more so, for allowing him to make you feel this way, for making you feel jealous, betrayed, and sad like this. You hated how Shuichi talked to girls that weren't you, hated how Shuichi's eyes could look upon anyone other than you. You couldn't bear with it. Shuichi was always supposed to be alone, like he was meant to: he was meant to be lonely. Just as he was your savior during your childhood, you were supposed to be his when you grew up.
But most of all, you hated yourself, for still loving him, all these times. To say you loved him would be an understatement; you long for him, yearned for him. You wanted him be able to pronounce nothing other than the sound of your name, only yours, and feeling the pleasure that belonged to you, and you alone.
Your thumb slowly moved to your phone screen as you began to type a response, unsure of what to say. Tears were forming at the corners of your eyes as your mind began to panic: would you regret your reply? No, you didn't care if it was a right choice or not, so long as it was honest. You were tired of lying to him, to yourself. So you came to a resolution, and decided to tell him the truth, your real feelings.
'Don't ever leave me alone, again. I love you so much, Shuichi. I'm the only person you need, just as you're the only person I need in this world. I feel so lonely without you.'
And then, with one swift and familiar stroke on your phone screen, you tapped send, and closed your phone.
Not even a minute after sending it, your phone buzzed with a specific vibration you had set up for Shuichi's messages, a large smile forming on your face: you were so glad to be able to contact him again like this, so, so glad.
As you walked down the streets, unable to hide the smile that formed on your lips, your eyes caught a glimpse of yourself through the reflective shop window: cheeks flushed, eyes gleaming, along with the hairpin that rested on your head, everything about you emanated an aura of happiness that was impossible to miss. The song of birds have returned to the streets again, echoing the chirps that the little animals made, singing together with the sunshine through the treetops above you, their aria resembling your mood so, so perfectly.
You noticed a few marks on your neck, as your eyes scanned your whole body, satisfied by its state: you wanted proof that you were loved, for that's what they were, correct? You gently touched the love-marks Shuichi left on you with your hand, as if it was the only thing you could think of doing. As if it was the only thing you knew how to do. Just like when you used to touch Shuichi's head while reading his favorite books to him when he was a kid, his head resting against the pillow on your lap.
As if examining your own figure, your eyes went up from your collarbones to your neck, your neck to your chin, and your chin to your parted lips, before meeting your own widened eyes.
There was no way.
The longer you fixated your own eyes, the longer the shock became one with you.
You didn't wear any gloss today, nor yesterday, nor any day outside as a matter of fact. You had only recently bought your new favorite shade of pink from a Korean site online, and tried it once in a hurry in your room before you went to bed, deciding to only wear it on special occasions. You knew Shuichi had been stalking your social medias with a spare account, but you've never ever posted about your new purchase online. No one other than you knew about it.
There was no way he could have known about it.
Your eyes kept looking directly into your dilated pupils, straight to your heart. You gripped onto the edges of your phone, unable to contain the racing emotions that ran through you. The buzz in your device startled you, as the familiar vibrations indicated you got another message from Shuichi. Your breaths were starting to get faster, the heartbeat that you could hear like drums becoming erratic and unsteady as you unlocked your phone with a string of numbers, that were of course Shuichi's birthdate. As your eyes read through his newest message, a smile slowly began to appear from your face. You couldn't stop smiling, as your lips curved upward to form an evil grin.
Shuichi – 11:34
I won't ever leave you, you know that. I love you so much. I won't ever make you feel lonely again, you will always feel my presence and I will always be there, I promise.
Shuichi – 11:39
I will never leave you because I've always been watching over you.