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In the echoes of the past, memories dance.
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Aquarium Encounters: Unravelling the Unexpected
The blue light washed over them in bright, alien waves, casting strange playings of light and shadow over everybody’s skin. The air was a bit stuffy, despite the heavy-working ACs, and there was a sense of wetness in the air. Noise caught in the dark halls like the air did, making everything ring out in a resounding, dampened way. Next to them, a giant stingray was crossing from one edge of its aquarium to the other.
Suguru was walking one and a half steps (one of Satoru’s, two of Shoko’s, approximately) behind his friends, listening to their banter. He let their voices wash over him; numbing like the general atmosphere of the aquarium, until they had become not much more than a mingling of pleasant, familiar sounds. The content itself was not that important anyway; Satoru had noticed Shoko getting fidgety an hour into their aquarium visit and was now teasing her about already needing a smoke break, to which she responded with the sort of annoyance that wasn’t actual annoyance because Shoko had different levels of categorising that particular emotion than everybody else.
It was nice. A nice afternoon out with his best and longest friends and Suguru enjoyed it, sometimes, to just take that in for a second, let himself float in the feeling of it. Especially nowadays, when that calming familiarity seemed to slip through his fingers more and more with every passing day.
“-Suguru? Earth to Suguru!“
Now, that sounded familiar.
Suguru looked up – and then just a bit more up because the person he was looking up to was much too tall – and looked straight into a blinding smile that made his heart flutter.
“I’m here.“
“Yeah, I can see that.“ Satoru kept grinning, easily slinging an arm around Suguru’s shoulders. They both tensed just a little at it, and both tried not to make the stinging awkwardness of the moment obvious. “We just agreed on leaving, you alright with that?“
“Sure“, Suguru said, a bit too quickly to look like he had genuinely thought about it. Before Satoru’s inevitable questioning eyebrow raise, he made an effort to cast a snide grin and poked Shoko in the side to include her in the conversation.
“You need a smoke so bad?“
She didn’t even give him the relief of rolling her eyes, just deadpanned: “I know you’re jealous.“ and walked ahead.
Satoru laughed and Suguru grinned, albeit knowing that she was at least somewhat right. He had quit just after things with Satoru had… faded out. Guessed if he could quit Satoru, he could quit cigarettes, too.
So far, the latter had worked much better. The Satoru-withdrawal though was still challenging, even all this time after their fake-and-then-kind-of-real relationship had ended. Then again, quitting to smoke was made much harder by Shoko being around him so much (even though she really tried to be considerate), whereas he had gone through a forcibly cold turkey in the matters of sex with Satoru.
In reality, though, sex had never been the problem between the two of them – everything else was. It was a fact that there had always been – and still was, as much as Suguru tried to ignore it for both of their sakes – a chemistry between them that was too strong to continue being comfortable friends with benefits and apparently too weak to dare step into something more real.
They had made convincing boyfriends, to the eyes of his – admittedly, mostly inexperienced with any kind of non-traditional, heterosexual relationships – parents for the entirety of a whole, only slightly cursed family holiday (Suguru still woke up doubting that they actually went through with that whole shit show, until he looked at the evidence photos on his phone again).
And afterwards, it had been hard to shake the remnants of the intimacy that had never been purely put on, which had quickly led to a time of not only keeping to have mind blowing sex but, unfortunately, also days spent kissing and cuddling on the couch and playing a cruel game of hide and seek with Suguru’s budding feelings by both still insisting that they were not actually boyfriends.
Until Satoru had ended it, for once being the more reasonable part (maybe an apology for pushing the concept of fake dating onto Suguru in the first place) in their long established friendship. And they were both determined to just get over it, which would be so much easier if Suguru wasn’t still feeling things for his best friend that were decisively more than friendship. If he was completely honest, he had felt that way even before their whole scheme started. It had just been easier to pretend that it was nothing but a simple crush before he had gotten the chance to kiss Satoru on a regular schedule.
So yeah, quitting cigarettes was way easier, mostly for the lack of emotional mess involved.
“So boys“, Shoko announced a few minutes later, after they had left the aquarium and Shoko rejoined them in the spot they had found to wait for her at. “Anything else you had planned for today?“
Suguru shrugged. The aquarium had been Satoru’s idea, although why, Suguru couldn’t tell. Usually, if Suguru wasn’t the one to plan anything for them to do, they ended up in a café or just at one of their places, or Satoru intervened and they did something spontaneous that he randomly felt partial to.
But this time, he had proposed to visit the aquarium ahead of time. Suguru secretly wondered if it was because the last few of their meetings had been slightly more awkward than they were used to. Or, much more awkward even, considering that doing things with Satoru had never been uncomfortable in any way ever before. Suguru had thought he was the only one noticing this, Shoko being effectively blind to such things – although he didn’t know if she was doing it on purpose or not.
But maybe it had not just been him overthinking and Satoru had wanted to do something more than usual to escape the awkwardness for a while. Then again, Satoru had always said he wanted to visit the place again and it was supposedly just Suguru’s own overactive interpretation that had thought that he’d meant just the two of them. He wasn’t even sure why the place had such a nostalgic feeling for him. There was no claim there, nothing that made the place something shared between just the two of them.
In any case, he did not really have any vivid imaginations of what to do after leaving the aquarium and while that had never been a problem before, he felt tired. Not physically, but emotionally, as if he had spent the day with a group of exhausting strangers, not his two best friends.
Usually, their meetings ended with Shoko saying goodbye first and Satoru and him finding something else to do before either reluctantly saying goodbye or even one of them staying over at the other’s place. This time, though, Suguru felt like he should be the one to break the tradition; not prepared for any more moments of even only second-long uncomfortable silence around Satoru. And even in the unlikely event that Satoru would leave the trio first; he wasn’t quite keen on staying alone with Shoko today, either. Not that she would question him on his and Satoru’s weird behaviour – if she had noticed, she was still sure to not bring it up before any of them did – but Suguru often still found himself spilling all the beans of his currently very questionable love life if he was left alone with her and she gave him one of her long, slightly judgemental stares, and he really was not up to a conversation like that right now.
So he announced that he would head home, blamed it on tiredness and a budding headache and earned a passive stare from Shoko and a long, knowing look out of unbelievably blue eyes. Satoru didn’t offer to walk him to the station like he usually would, opting for giving him his privacy instead of trying to press him for what was wrong. Probably because he knew very well. The look in his eyes, the brightness between his long, delicate lashes and not least the months-old but lingering memory of his hands on Suguru’s body and their lips on each other was what followed Suguru home.
So yes, quitting Satoru was proving to be very difficult. But losing his friendship was objectively even worse and if Suguru could find a way to squash his stupid, unwarranted feelings, he would do so in an instant to save what they once had.
He only had to find out how.
Love's Shadow: Dating While Still Smitten
Suguru hadn’t had a date in a long time. In fact, with how complicated his love life had been for him, he had maybe not ever been on a proper date since his clumsy attempts at wooing girls in high school. At least those had been agreed on with the right intent in mind, even though it had been the intent of a repressed, sulky gay teenager.
Afterwards, there had only been the occasional meet ups with his parents, whenever somehow, completely incidentally, the daughter of one of his mother’s friends had come by and thus of course had been invited in for tea and a piece of cake. And prompted to speak about her success at university (“Our son likes smart, hard-working women, isn’t that right, Suguru?”) and her traditional hobbies (“Isn’t is such a coincidence that you embroider your own clothes, when our family comes from such a long line of traditional artisans? You would fit right in.”). All for no deeper reason than light small talk, of course.
He had always felt sorry for the poor girls, whom he would not even be interested in had his parents not dangled them before his nose like an easy to catch toy in front of a lazy house cat.
It was not surprising that nothing had ever come of an arrangement like that.
The other kinds of dates Suguru was used to were those he had picked up recently again, in a higher frequency than ever before, no less. Although those, too, could not really be called dates, because usually the two parties involved already knew every bit of relevant information before meeting up.
It was astounding how, even without using the myriad of dating apps or websites available on the internet, if you just went to the right places, everyone instantly knew that he was just there for a one-night-stand. And those with similar intentions always found him like moths attracted to the light. Not many questions were asked, just a few ground rules set straight, then they had a nice night, occasionally a nice morning as well, and that was it. It was not particularly fulfilling in the long run, but it was something. Enough to get… certain people out of his mind, at least.
Only that after falling back into old routines of being Satoru’s friend and nothing more, and establishing new routines regarding his night- and sex life, there was suddenly an exception.
The exception’s name was Marcus, and he was his date for tonight.
They had met like Suguru was apparently meeting all new people, nowadays: in a bar. Had really good sex, good enough for Suguru to be easily convinced when Marcus asked for a repetition soon, which was usually nothing he was very keen on doing. But the repetition had been good as well, and by the third time it had almost become a routine.
They were comfortable with each other, Marcus was easygoing and patient with him (and also a very adequate breakfast cook), and they had started talking, until Marcus had asked for a proper date, to “really get to know each other”. All with a wink and an almost romantic smile.
The thing was that Suguru was not really ready to fall in love just yet; the main reason why he had focused so much on the one aspect of single life that was not actual dating.
But Marcus, as told before, was one of the incredibly easy going sorts. A little older than Suguru, born and raised in Europe and far more casual and comfortable with his sexuality and his rather unconventional lifestyle than Suguru, raised as overly conservative as he was, would ever be.
And Suguru was not sure if he would find something in him that he would want to seriously consider a relationship with, but to ease into dating life and maybe, someday, find his footing there again without constantly thinking of Satoru; for that Marcus might be just the right guy.
They were already having fun together, so why not just extend the number of places and situations they could have fun with.
…
In the end, it was almost a picture perfect date. Rulebook material, with their own, personal twists.
They went hiking together, after Marcus drove them out of the city, and had a good time as Marcus told Suguru about every kind of bird they encountered the whole day because he knew far too much about birds than a guy his age should.
They had a picnic that was almost romantic, and a make out session on a clearing in the forest, that was less romantic and more heated, and a fit of giggles when Marcus over-exaggeratedly kissed him goodbye at his door, as if they hadn’t fucked at least five times already.
In all honesty, it had been... Fun. A great time. They had a good chemistry, could talk and make each other laugh without too many awkward pauses in between, they were attracted to each other and - which was especially relieving for Suguru to just quietly know - there was not the looming threat of his family finding out that they were not actually a couple. Because he would just… not introduce Marcus to his family, not right now, at least, but probably never. What they had was something casual and fun and a break from hanging around in bars all the time, and for an entire week after this first date, Suguru was really, truly convinced that this was enough.
…
And then, the following weekend, he met up with Satoru and the first thing he noticed when he saw him, when the other greeted him with their usual hug and a wide grin and some kind of teasing comment, was, damn, Marcus had absolutely no chance against him.
Apart from that - or maybe even including that, because unrequited pining had long become the standard for Suguru whenever he met up with his best friend - the day was pretty normal. They were cooking together. Played video games until they almost shoved each other off the couch in pretend-fighting. Talked for hours and hours.
Suguru of course said no word about Marcus, though, and Satoru also had something he was not telling him. Which annoyed Suguru, hypocritical as it was. He tried, subtly, to get it out of him, using all the known tricks to break through Satoru’s stubborn but sometimes avertable defences.
“Why are you so interested in my love life all of a sudden?”, was the thing that broke the first wall, after a while. Satoru was pouting, like he was always when he was mock-offended, but Suguru knew him well enough to see the nervousness in his expression anyway. And Satoru probably knew him well enough to smell the agitation he felt at this reveal.
“Ooh, so you have a new boyfriend, do you?”, he asked teasingly, his voice dripping with overdone mocking to show that he didn’t actually mind. Which he didn’t, since that was what they were doing. Just because he hadn’t known that Satoru was also back in the dating life, didn’t mean that he was begrudging him the fun.
Still, when Satoru’s cheek got a little flushed and he grinned and said “Maybe”, like it was somehow a big deal and this was why he had kept it from Suguru, he felt… jealous? Pissed? Everything a supportive best friend, who was totally over that silly little crush he had felt after pretend-dating Satoru for several weeks and sleeping with him long after they had “ended” this predicament, would decisively not feel. And Suguru wasn’t entirely unaware of his bizarre emotions and unhelpful coping mechanisms, so the most pronounced thing he felt right at this moment was “Shit.”
He still smiled because Satoru deserved the world and definitely not his stupid hang-ups.
“And, what’s he like?”, he tried. He found that he was doing really well. Satoru’s answering smile was still somewhat pained.
“He’s… well, he’s nice, but let’s maybe not talk about it right now?”
“Why not?”
Suguru was honestly a little perplexed. And somehow a little angry, too, albeit he did not want to determine why. Satoru raised his eyebrow at him, pointedly, beginning to look frustrated, and yeah, this would blow over soon, if Suguru didn’t back off.
But still, he missed the moment of silence to apologise and just withdraw, or change the topic and instead, Satoru spoke, rather sharply:
“Because you’re looking like you want to interrogate me, that’s why. You have no business of knowing everything, you know.”
Suguru knew. There were a lot of things he did not know about Satoru, purely because he didn’t like to talk about it, and he had always easily accepted that. It should not be different with this, but-
“Because I’m your best friend? Or have we ended that “agreement” as well?”
Satoru glared daggers at him, looking furious and rightfully so. Suguru didn’t even know what made him as openly provocative as he was, but somehow, the thought of Satoru having a partner, or a date, or whatever that was, and not telling him about it made their complicated past so… real. Like Satoru acknowledged that they could have been more than friends, maybe had been more than friends once, and that the possibility of ever going back to that was lost now. He would have rather heard him gush about his new flame, trample on Suguru’s feelings in an oblivious way, because at least that would have offered him a clean cut. The knowledge that it was truly over and that there was not even the slightest chance of Satoru feeling something more for him left.
Needless to say that they were quickly descending into a somewhat-fight after this. Well, Suguru, after his realisation became calmer, just because he suddenly lacked the energy to rile his friend up further. And maybe because Satoru really didn’t deserve his bad moods. They still exchanged some bitter words and angry looks until the moment came that Suguru could excuse himself as being tired and in a bad mood and half-apologise before leaving.
He was scared that this would keep going, he realised on his train-ride home. That he would never be able to look into Satoru’s face without yearning for more, after this. That he would never forget how it felt to kiss him, that Satoru had branded him somehow and now, the stupid little friendly crush he’d had before the whole fake dating thing was being forever kept alight just by knowing how it would feel to act on it.
He scolded himself for being over-dramatic, yet he texted Shoko, asking to meet up with her still on the same evening. She immediately became suspicious, virtually rolling her eyes at him over his messed up love life and agreed to a coffee-date in her lunch break the next day.
It gave Suguru enough time to be left alone with his thoughts until deep in the night and then apologise properly to Satoru the next morning – via text as well, because he sometimes needed some space after their disagreements, as much as Suguru would have wanted to show up in front of his door with flowers and take out food and a bad movie he could get playfully annoyed at.
…
It also gave him enough time to calm down before even meeting Shoko, to the point where he had fully convinced himself that the problem he had discovered the night before was actually not a problem at all.
He still told her what happened, though, let her judge him for being an asshole – she was right about that, at least – and then braced to sit through her usually unnecessarily direct and somewhat awkward dating tips. Really, he loved her a lot for putting up with him in situations like that, and he appreciated her trying to help (on top of just listening, which was mostly the only thing he really needed, anyway), but Shoko trying to give sensible advice was… a lucky bag, most of the time. In the sense that you were promised to get more than what you paid for and that might have been true, but most of it was just a bit useless. Which usually stemmed from the fact that Shoko seemed to assume that everyone around her was as dryly pragmatic, unreasonably straight-forward and insanely unromantic as she was. There usually wasn’t even anything wrong with her assessments, they just were not applicable to people as incalculable as he admitted both Satoru and him often were.
He, surprisingly, did not get well-meant but useless tips today, though.
“Why are you so angry about this?”, Shoko asked, looking at him over her third cup of coffee. He should not have offered to pay for her drinks, he realised. And that she must have a bladder of steel and a death wish, although he had known both of that before, to be fair.
“I’m not angry.”
“You were yesterday, and right now you are the perfect image of relaxation, which makes me think that you’re still mad and hiding it”, she said. Damn her.
“I’m not angry”, he repeated. “Maybe a little annoyed at him seriously dating someone as soon after we broke up, that’s all.”
She raised an eyebrow.
“I don’t get it. You’re dating people, too.”
“But not anything serious.”
“Is there a difference?”
The sentence left Suguru dumb-founded for a moment, and she shrugged and took another sip.
“Because the way I see it, you want to distract yourself from him”, she continued. “Which is fair, and you’re fine to do that, but he can do the same thing, and in his way, too. You should grow up and accept that.”
That wasn’t the issue, Suguru thought. That could not be the issue, because Satoru was not seeking distraction, because that would have meant that he also still felt something for Suguru and that- Was a thought he was not going to continue thinking, for his own sake.
No, Satoru was over him and ready to start dating again, and not ready to tell him about it because he either felt awkward about it now, or wanted to spare Suguru’s feelings – Suguru didn’t know what would be more disconcerting, honestly.
Still, Shoko’s words seemed to have burned themselves into the back of his mind, where he was going over them again and again and again, uncertain what to think about this possibility.
He cancelled the second date with Marcus, telling him that he was not looking for anything serious only a day later. Went back to just one night stands, telling himself that this was the better way to deal with a messy breakup between friends, that, honestly, had not even really been a breakup.
And he was accommodating towards Satoru, not quite as done with him to be able to encourage him about dating, maybe, but he tried not to be bitter about it either. Because it didn’t matter what Satoru was doing, if Shoko was right and he was merely seeking distraction, or if he had truly moved on. Because clearly what they’d tried to have was not working out, and he didn’t need Satoru anyway. Well, he did, but not like that. He didn’t need to find a replacement for him, either, he could just have fun. Mess around with people. Find his footing again.
Be Satoru’s friend, because in the end, that was what they were and what they needed. He wouldn’t lose sight of this a second time.
When Best Friends Cross the Line: Sharing More Than Secrets
…Well, Suguru lost sight of it, not even a full 48 hours after thinking about it.
Honestly, he knew how incredibly ridiculous it was, but he couldn't help it. He was prepared for a lot, could handle a lot, but not watching someone kiss Satoru, as if he were some kind of wild prey.
Seeing this man kiss Satoru like he was some kind of object made Suguru even angrier than any weird fuck acquaintance the other had had before. Suguru felt a mix of emotions—confusion, hurt, and perhaps even betrayal—after witnessing his best friend, whom he definitely felt something he couldn't put into words, kissing another man. Despite feeling hurt, it was just a hard fact that it was not his god damn business. Right.
He decided to just go home and write Satoru as soon as his mind would calm down.
"Hey Satoru,
Hope you're doing well. Was thinking it'd be nice to catch up tomorrow evening, maybe grab a drink or something. Let me know if you're free.
Take care,
Suguru"
.
"Hey Suguru,
I'd love to hang out this weekend. Let's definitely grab a movie and chill for a while. Last movie night was ages ago, right?
ps. You type like a 50-year-old grandpa"
.
When Suguru read the message, he couldn't help but laugh. He replied to Satoru with a 'jerk' and decided to really distract himself now. At least for this night.
...
Lying side by side in the comfort of Suguru's bed, Satoru and him engaged in their usual banter, their voices carrying through the air like a soothing melody. The day had been long, filled with the usual ups and downs, but now, in the tranquillity of the evening, they found solace in each other's company.
"So, how was your day?" Satoru asked, turning his head to look at Suguru, a small smile playing on his lips.
Suguru chuckled, shifting to face Satoru. "Same old, same old. Work was a drag, but nothing I couldn't handle."
Their conversation flowed effortlessly, each sharing anecdotes and thoughts about their respective days. It was a familiar routine, one that brought them closer together with each passing moment.
But as the minutes turned into hours, a subtle tension began to simmer beneath the surface, a slight shift in the air that neither could ignore. A harmless debate about their favourite film escalated into a heated argument, their voices rising in frustration as they struggled to see eye to eye.
It was not normal that they fought about such nonsense, but it somehow felt like they both searched for every opportunity to jump at each other.
"You just don't get it, do you?" Satoru exclaimed, his voice tinged with exasperation.
Suguru's brows furrowed in response, his own frustration mounting. "And you do? Give me a break, Satoru."
Their words hung in the air, charged with emotion, as they stared at each other with equal parts anger and desire. And then, in an instant, the tension snapped, giving way to an overwhelming surge of longing and need which seemed not just Suguru could feel.
Without a word, Suguru closed the distance between them, capturing Satoru's lips in a desperate kiss. It was a collision of desire and frustration, their bodies pressing together with an urgency born of weeks of unspoken longing.
Clothes were discarded in a frenzy of passion, forgotten in the heat of the moment as they gave in to the undeniable pull between them. Hands roamed freely, tracing familiar paths across heated skin as they lost themselves in the intensity of their connection.
In the dim light of the bedroom, they came together in a whirlwind of passion, their bodies moving in perfect harmony as they sought solace in each other's embrace. And as they surrendered to the pleasure that engulfed them, they knew that this would lead to more again.
Nonetheless, Satoru was the first to break the silence.
“We shouldn’t start with that again, Suguru.”
Suguru did not answer. He knew that Satoru was right, but he could feel his heart beating so loud, how should he ignore what he felt right now?
“But you want to kiss me, right?”
Suguru faced the other one who looked at him without saying a word. He did not need to, Suguru saw it in his eyes.
These beautiful eyes.
Suguru's heart raced as he kissed the other passionately, their lips meeting in a fervent embrace. They exchanged tender caresses, slowly undressing each other more with eager hands, their bodies intertwining in the dim light of the room. The air was filled with anticipation and desire, and the feelings of regret got put back in a box.
The next few minutes flew by. Honestly, Suguru wasn't even sure how much time had passed. He only focused on his feelings, on Satoru, the closeness that surrounded them.
Since when were they fully naked? Since when were they so aroused? Suguru didn't know, and he didn't care. He cherished every second of what they had right now. Until the moment would be over. Like so many times before…
Something made him startle awake, when Satoru addressed him.
“This is the best evening I had in a long time.”
Satoru’s voice was just a whisper, but Suguru could hear the smile in his words.
“It is, yes.”
There was familiarity in every touch and every shared whisper that seemed to imply so much more than the obvious mistake this night would most likely turn out as.
With both hands, he seized Satoru's perfectly formed ass and spread him wide open so that his dick could just go in effortlessly. He settled into the crack of Satoru's ass and felt his soft skin around his swollen cock. Despite not entering it felt almost as good as being inside him. All he wanted to do was slide inside and fuck him straight away, but he knew that it was not the right time at the moment, that it was too early for that. He hadn't even prepared the other one yet.
"Satoru..." Suguru murmured, softly.
Satoru moaned and pressed himself tighter against the other. The feeling of being so close drove Suguru crazy. However, some clarity came to his senses and he repositioned the two so that he wouldn't shut down his brain and rip Satoru completely open in an instance.
Satoru responded to their change of position with an annoyed snarl.
"What are you doing?"
Suguru, who was now leaning over him, smiled.
"Taking care of you, idiot."
Looking up at Suguru, Satoru's erection was pulsating hard. Suguru was flooded with a myriad of desires. Satoru's chest rose and fell rapidly, his eyes ablaze with pure lust, yet there was a wet sheen on his bitten lips that Suguru fixated on.
Satoru noticed this look, pulled the other man down and kissed him.
"Maybe I should take care of you instead, huh?"
In response, Satoru lunged forward, pushing Suguru back to the bed by the shoulders, and swallowed Suguru's entire length, causing a breathless groan to escape Suguru's throat.
Satoru obediently opened his mouth, muscles tense, reclining with his weight on his elbows, slowly licking over the head of his dick, just before trailing it back down to his balls.
Suguru resisted the urge to praise him prematurely, though he longed to. He needed to tell him how good he was, how he needed him, how he just wanted to stay in exactly this status forever. Just the two of them in complete unison.
"If you suck me off good, I may be paying it back to you", Suguru teased, knowingly that Satoru liked it that way and heaven knows he would give him anything he wanted.
"Make it all wet, spit is all you're getting", he added and for his pleasure saw that his words did not fail to make Satoru even more turned on.
"You really like that, do you?", Suguru groaned. "Take it deep, Satoru."
Satoru was thoroughly aroused, struggling to accommodate the full length.
"Do you want to know why I love this?" Suguru asked casually, relishing the moment as if they had done exactly this like a thousand times before.
"Because you finally shut up." Satoru emitted a growl, sending vibrations through Suguru's body, eliciting a response, while the one being sucked let out an honest laugh. It felt so natural right now, so real.
"Damn, I could get used to that", Suguru panted.
"Is that what you needed?"
Satoru could only respond with a low, guttural moan as Suguru held his face, feeling his jaw move while he continued thrusting into his mouth. It was deliciously filthy, and to heighten the pleasure, Suguru guided Satoru's face, thrusting without mercy, plunging deep into his throat. Satoru moaned around him, the wet heat engulfing Suguru's length wherever it went.
"Suck me, but take care that I don't cum." Suguru demanded. "You want me inside you, right Satoru?”
It took nearly all of Suguru's mental strength to do so, but eventually, he pushed Satoru off his cock just before he could cum, instead urging to get comfortable on the bed, stomach down and ass up.
Suguru pressed a firm hand onto Satoru's back, forcing him back down before lifting him by the hips. He prepared his left hand, his movements brisk and efficient. As he inserted two fingers, Satoru yelped and buried his face in the mattress, pushing his ass toward Suguru, already wanting more.
“I know, I know. You’ve waited long enough.”
Satoru moaned as if he could not talk any more.
"If you want more, you'll have to ask", Suguru grunted, twisting his fingers expertly, eliciting shudders from Satoru. Pumping his fingers in and out, Suguru listened to Satoru's muffled whines like it was some beautiful playing melody.
Gradually widening the scissoring of his fingers, Suguru teased Satoru's entrance, prompting desperate protests.
"Stop complaining, or I'll leave you hanging", Suguru threatened, feeling Satoru's frantic movements against the mattress. "Do you want this? Do you want to be filled up, good boy?”
"Fuck", Satoru choked out.
Suguru's middle finger relentlessly stimulated Satoru's prostate, imagining the state of arousal his actions induced. Satoru mumbled deliriously into the thin air, lost in the overwhelming pleasure. Suguru could not even make out what the other one was saying.
Despite his eagerness to fulfil his desires, he relished the sensation of his fingers inside Satoru and didn't want to withdraw them, not when Satoru was writhing and gagging for more. "Do you want to be fucked? You crave my cock inside you, tearing you apart. I know you do. You won't be satisfied until you're dripping with my cum, right?"
Satoru thrust himself back eagerly, gasping with each movement.
Suguru swapped his fingers for his slicked-up dick, driven by an insatiable hunger. With just spit for lubrication, he thrust in, relishing the sensation of Satoru's muscles yielding to him.
Satoru bit down on the pillow under his head to stifle a loud moan.
Suguru seized hold of Satoru's slender hips, relishing the perfect fit in his hands as he took control, leaving bruises as he pinned Satoru in place. Satoru enjoyed being face down, ass up — it allowed him to squirm and resist, revelling in the sensation of being dominated. At least it seemed that way, and Suguru could not help himself and ask the other one if it really was.
Suguru's gaze lingered on the broad expanse of Satoru's shoulders, his arousal mounting at the sight of Satoru's flushed ears and the glimpses of his face, eyes shut, mouth slack with pleasure. When Satoru reached for his own dick, Suguru swiftly rebuffed him, delivering a sharp slap to his butt cheeks as a warning.
Then, using both hands, Suguru spread Satoru's cheeks, leaving them stinging and reddened, granting himself an unobstructed view.
Satoru moaned and whined, overwhelmed by the intensity. Suguru took careful aim, moving with purpose, and Satoru's entire demeanour shifted. His body slackened, his moans changing in tone as pleasure began to eclipse, Suguru observed with satisfaction as Satoru's resistance faded, replaced by a passive surrender. Satoru's moans became drawn out and low, his attempts to resist subsiding. Succumbing to the pleasure, he lay there, almost motionless, emitting soft, pained noises.
"Good job, baby", Suguru murmured, slowing his movements. "You're doing so well, Satoru. You can cum any minute."
He ground deliberately against Satoru's prostate, the sensation almost overwhelming for himself, causing Satoru to gasp and struggle for breath.
"Come on", Suguru urged softly. "You know I want to see you cumming."
Suguru's touch became gentler, his thumb delicately massaging Satoru's rear entrance before trailing down to his sweat-slicked hips, following the V-shape to his dick. Closing his left hand around the base and curling his right into a fist at the tip, where Satoru craved it most, Suguru twisted his wrist just right, sending waves of pleasure through Satoru's entire body as Suguru continued to move inside him. Satoru trembled, unable to contain himself, tightening around Suguru's length before emitting a series of moans and gasps as he climaxed in Suguru's hands. Suguru yearned to witness the full-body blush that accompanied Satoru's ecstasy, settling for the sensation of his hand against Satoru's skin as he reached his own climax, filling Satoru with his cum.
As Satoru's breathing shuddered and hitched, Suguru withdrew carefully.
Their eyes met, and Suguru brushed away a tear. He loved Satoru deeply, he just realised that.
"Thank you", Satoru murmured.
"Thank you", Suguru replied playfully.
"I didn't hurt you, did I?" Suguru added.
"Don't think I could feel it if you did", Satoru admitted, his speech slurred. “It was good, I don’t really care if I’m hurt, tho.”
Suguru watched as Satoru drifted off, his features relaxed in his slumber.
.
.
.
In the whispers of the present, moments unfold.
.
.
.
Chats with Auntie: A Symphony of Reflection
“So, how is Satoru?“, Yukio asked, because she had a terrible sense of timing – that she was fully aware of.
She had coaxed out the news of their alleged “break-up“ weeks ago, when it had still been fresh, and back then, she had mostly left him alone to wallow in his self-pity, after stating her regret and that she was sorry. No nosy questions, no insisting to make it work, nothing.
In retrospect, Suguru should have known that this couldn’t be the end of it.
Apparently, she had decided that the time to be overly considerate was over, and now she was beginning to investigate, Yukio-style. And no, Suguru was very sure that this was not just the kind of innocent inquiry someone posed a few weeks after a break-up with a person who had been a best friend before the relationship. No, his aunt, in all her undying determination to get to the bottom of things, had waited with that question until Suguru had just begun telling her about that one guy he had been dating (sleeping with, really, but there were limits to his openness, even with her).
She knew something was up, Suguru was well aware. She probably had known since he told her about the break-up, which was why she had never even thrown the idea of telling his parents into the room. Suguru, in all honesty, had subconsciously counted on her to bring that up, to pressure him into telling them, which was something he had put up with for a while now. But no, nothing. Just quiet acceptance, that apparently had not been acceptance at all.
“Good, I think“, he said, in the way people spoke about random exes they didn’t really keep in touch with. Pretending that he hadn’t seen through the question. She pursed her lips at him, before turning around to nestle with the tea kettle again, and he knew that she wasn’t buying it. They both were quiet until she had poured them both their tea and set the kettle down on the kitchen table he was currently sitting at. The silence wasn’t long enough for him to find anything else to distract her with – if that would have even been possible – and thus she smiled at him after sipping the first bit of her tea and promptly burning her tongue.
“You haven’t seen him in a while?“
No accusation, at least not an open one, so he couldn’t dispute it or react petty. He only nodded in response, which probably only made him look more like a sullen teenager. Not quite the look he was going for.
“Come on, Suguru“, she poked, eyebrows drawn in concern. And shit, he knew exactly what she was doing, but that look of gentle, supportive involvement in his problems had managed to get to him since he had been an actual sullen teenager.
“We still hang out“, Suguru said and tried not to cringe at the choice of words. ‘Hang out’, like they had never been more than just occasional acquaintances. “We’re just a bit more busy lately. But I’m sure that he is fine.“
A nudge to change the topic, which Yukio bluntly ignored.
“‘Busy’ as in with work? Or with other people?“
She grinned cheekily, as if she had just made a particular skilful joke and he scoffed.
‚Busy‘ as in ‚avoidant‘, Suguru thought, but didn’t say so. He was aware of it, though, how much he had withdrawn from anything that had to do with Satoru. It had been a subconscious thing at first, but by now, he was painfully aware of it. He also knew that Satoru was confused by it, perhaps even angry, but he told himself that this was just a passing trend. He didn’t want to lose him, of course he didn’t. He couldn’t fathom the thought of truly losing him, he just needed… space? Even in the isolation of his thoughts, that sounded lame, but the truth was that being around Satoru and knowing that there were other people who could touch him, kiss him, be with him in a way that Suguru wasn’t allowed to anymore, just… hurt.
There was no way he could say this to his aunt, though, because she wouldn’t understand. Not with the gigantic, secret and embarrassing chunk of their messed up story still missing from her knowledge. And tell her that was- No.
But then again, it was Yukio. His only confidant for the longest of times, long before he had even met Satoru or Shoko. And possibly the only one who could maybe understand all of this in a way that Shoko, with her exasperated judgement, just wasn’t able to. The only one who would neither be too afraid to tell him exactly how he messed up, nor dwell on it for too long, before telling him how to let go of it.
‚Help, how do I reconnect with a friend whom I pretended to be in a relationship with and it kind of went off the rails‘ sounded just absurd enough to be exactly up her alley, to be honest. And he could still decide afterwards if he even wanted her to know all about how he still felt about Satoru, after all of that had blown over.
“We were never really together“, he said, before he could stop himself. He said it like a challenge, like he wanted Yukio to protest, to tell him how stupid it was to downplay those things, without ever thinking about the far weirder reason that could have led him to this statement. Her silence told him that she was suspecting much more than just his boyish attempts to save his own skin.
He breathed in and out, sipped on his tea that was just so drinkable, finally, and then he told her everything – from their initial plan to its implementation, eventually mentioning even the many moments when he had felt like they were losing control of the ‚fake‘ aspect of their fake relationship.
He skipped the more graphic details, obviously, but other than that he talked and she listened and in the end, both of their teas had gone cold without either of them really noticing.
She had let him talk, only interrupting his flow of words with some clarifying questions, but once his recount had met the present, he knew that her stoic manner of trying to be non-judgemental must be over. He braced himself and looked at her.
“What do you want to hear from me, now?“, she asked. It could have sounded accusatory, but the way she said it was only gentle. Like she genuinely wanted to know.
“Advice?“, she asked, when he didn’t answer within a few too many seconds. “Or just my opinion?“
“I don’t know“, Suguru said, shrugging. “The latter.“
Yukio nipped at her tea, making a disgusted face when she tasted how cold it had gone.
“Well, for one, I think that ‚fake‘ or ‘real’ might not make that much of a difference, in this case“, she began carefully, and immediately hushed him when he tried to protest. “I understand where you were coming from with your plan, and it seemed to have worked much better than I would have expected, had you told me that was what you were doing. But I believe that part of the… let’s say naturalness of what you were portraying was that you were both trusting each other with a lot of vulnerability, and that you communicated well enough where you both wanted to take this, at least in the beginning. In all honesty, that is more than many first-stage relationships put to the table, so I could imagine that sharing all of this with someone would lead to many conflicting feelings.“
She let all implications of this hang in the room silently, and gave Suguru time to consider them. He played with the handle of his teacup, shifting it back and forth, before letting go and leaning back into his chair with a sigh.
“I don’t think we... ‚broke up‘“, he admitted, making air quotation marks around this somewhat inadequate expression. “because we don’t… like each other like that.“
She raised her eyebrow at him, of course asking the obvious follow-up question he didn’t quite know how to answer.
“Why did you break up, then?“
He wasn’t sure. That was the point, maybe, the reason why he still hadn’t found closure. Because he genuinely was not sure. Satoru said that ‚it had gotten too much‘ for him. The sex, or the casual intimacy, or both. Which had hit Suguru out of nowhere because he had been so sure that his friend had been enjoying whatever it was that they’d had just as much as him. And he knew that he didn’t just imagine the connection, the sparks between them, so it couldn’t have been just an excuse, either.
“He did“, he clarified, a bit more spiteful than he meant to, but… it was the truth, right? If it was only Suguru’s decision, they would still be together. Or rather, they would still be somewhere in that limbo somewhere between friendship and a couple, with a lot of unspoken questions and vague answers to build upon. Which, fine, maybe hadn’t been ideal, but if Satoru had wanted to change that, he could have just… asked him out properly. There was no way that Suguru would have said No, and he was pretty sure that Satoru could have realised that, if he ever thought about it.
“He’s with other people now“, he added, by way of an explanation that actually wasn’t one at all. “So I suppose he just wasn’t ready to settle down or something.“
He felt an air of resentment creep into his voice like bile clinging to the edges of his throat. He never wanted to talk about Satoru with so much surpressed anger, but he couldn’t find it in him to just brush off that he was apparently able to fuck around and date and be with other people without any of the problems he had seen in their relationship. Which must somehow be Suguru’s fault, then, but not even being given the chance to improve was annoying him.
His aunt read the bitterness in his expression correctly, though, maybe once again more in touch with Suguru’s emotional state than he was himself, which was why she found exactly the right words to address the issue.
“You are an idiot“, she said, bluntly.
Suguru was overcome with the sudden urge to let his fist crush onto the table, but flinched back almost immediately at his own slip towards violence.
“Thank you so much“, he said instead, biting sweetness in his voice. “That is exactly what I wanted to hear. Somehow, he is able to do whatever he wants with no explanation, and I am the idiot.“
“Suguru.“ There was a warning in her voice that urged him to back down and listen, as pissed off about it as he was.
She waited for a moment, possibly to give him some more time to cool down.
“If you are so hurt by him dating other people, why do you think this is so different for him?“
“What“, he asked. “Do you mean?“
“You just told me about your respective dates. Can you imagine that he might feel the same as you, right now?“
“As I said“, Suguru protested. “He” left, not the other way around. And he can do what he wants, I know not to bother him on that account.“
“But still you don’t know why he left.“
“And how, exactly, is this my fault now?“
“It isn’t“, she said, trying to placate him. “It’s just proof that your communication was working much better when you were planning a fake relationship than when you’re maintaining a real one.“
“He didn’t want to-“
“And you didn’t ask. Suguru, I am not telling you that I somehow certainly know he is head over heels for you and that this is all just a big misunderstanding. I’m just saying that this, as I’ve mentioned before, is a complicated situation that obviously left both of you with some confusing feelings to sift through, especially considering what you might or might not have – consciously – felt before.”
She paused for a moment to look at him, her eyes searching his for understanding. The firmness of her voice faded to a slightly softer quality when she continued.
“I don’t know if you have completely sorted out what you feel for or want with him, and I highly doubt that he has. And you should have spoken about that before he left, but the second best time to talk – and be honest with each other, even if it means being vulnerable – is right now.“
She huffed a little after her little speech and let Suguru soak it in. He did, but honestly didn’t feel able to do much more than let it wash over him. There was too much there, too many things he hadn’t until now dared thinking about, and of course she was right, but that didn’t mean it was that easy-
“We can change the topic“, she said gently. “You don’t need to tell me all about your opinions on my terribly insistent meddling just yet.“
He nodded, thankfully, although he wasn’t sure if his racing thoughts would be able to circle around anything but her words today.
“Just one last thing“, she added, even softer, looking a bit unsure if she should really say it or not. “Only because I know that this is always hard to see if you’re in the situation yourself. But I genuinely have never seen you as comfortable and happy as when you were at his side. You seemed so at ease. And this may not seem like much, but if being with him makes you happy, that is reason enough to tell him, no matter the outcome.“
If Suguru had been speechless before, he was even further away from finding any fitting words for the situation right now. Luckily, she really made good on her promise and did change the topic; not after setting up another kettle of tea for the two of them.
They weren’t talking for much longer, though, and Suguru was on his way home rather early, the silence of his flat welcoming another burst of conflicting thoughts; about Satoru and strangers in both of their beds, and the holiday and Satoru.
He still wasn’t sure if he could really risk telling him, not even after an almost sleepless night of racing thoughts and anxieties. But maybe they should at least talk. Just to make sure they really were on the same page with everything. Just to not lose him and that bit of happiness he always, no matter the details of their relationship, had in store for Suguru.
… Damn his aunt and her stupid insight. Bless her, too.
Picking up the phone and opening his text messages with Satoru came to him like second-nature, but he wasn’t sure how long it would have taken for him to do this without her.
He texted Satoru, arranging a meeting for the next day. It had been a while since they had seen each other, by their standards, and Suguru felt that they should finally talk. More than ever, he felt how their relationship had plunged into a strange limbo, neither progressing nor regressing, and Suguru would no longer deny that there were some things that they needed to talk about. The sooner, the better; as much as the outcome scared him.
Finally Talking?: I've Missed You.
Suguru's morning had been one catastrophe after another catastrophe, each one stacking up like a cruel joke played out by fate itself. It had started with the shrill sound of his alarm clock, ripping him from a restless sleep plagued by unsettling dreams. When he stumbled out of bed, groggy and disoriented, he had already sensed the weight of the day pressing down on him like a weighted blanket. What he loved as an aid to help him sleep only turned suffocating in the light of day.
And it wouldn’t end there.
The coffee maker, usually his saviour on mornings like these, had chosen today of all days to malfunction, leaving him feeling like a living corpse. He had muttered curses under his breath, wrestling with the stubborn machine to no avail, before giving in and facing the day without his usual dose of caffeine in his veins.
He would survive somehow.
His way to work had been a nightmare of delays and overcrowded trains, pushing his patience to its limits. By the time he stumbled into work, he was already boiling with frustration, dreading that today would be a total nightmare. The only saving grace was his bed waiting for him at home.
And time, like the inconceivable trick of a magician, never seemed to wait for him to grasp it; running through his fingers like sand instead.
And then there was Satoru.
The mere thought of their argument sent a surge of anger coursing through Suguru's veins once more, his jaw clenched tight as he replayed the heated exchange in his mind. He knew he messed up, his words were harsh, and his pride kept him from seeing the hurt in Satoru's eyes.
Now, standing in his dimly lit apartment with the weight of his mistakes bearing down on him, Suguru could feel the weight of his bad morning pressing down on him like a physical force. He felt tired and completely unprepared to argue right now. He just wanted to lay down and do nothing.
The arrival of Satoru at his door felt like a cruel twist of fate, a reminder of everything he had done wrong and everything he had to lose.
But as he watched Satoru step into his apartment with that familiar half-smile on his lips, Suguru felt a flicker of hope stir within him. Maybe, just maybe, there was a chance to make things right. A good ending to a not so good day.
With a gentle yet resolved attitude about him, Satoru stepped further into Suguru's apartment, his eyes scanning the familiar space with a mix of concern and determination. He knew that his best friend was struggling, and he was determined to do whatever it took to lift Suguru's spirits.
"Suguru", Satoru began softly, his voice carrying a reassuring warmth as he approached his friend. "I'm here for you, okay? Let's take your mind off things for a while."
Suguru managed a weak nod, his gaze meeting Satoru's with a hint of gratitude mingled with vulnerability. He knew he could trust Satoru to be there for him, even in his darkest moments.
With a playful twinkle in his eyes, Satoru gestured towards the cluttered coffee table in the centre of the room. "How about a game?" he suggested, a mischievous grin spreading across his face.
Suguru raised an eyebrow, a faint glimmer of curiosity flickering in his eyes. "A game?" he echoed, his voice tinged with a hint of scepticism.
Satoru nodded eagerly, already moving to retrieve a worn deck of cards from a nearby shelf. "Trust me, it'll be fun", he insisted, his enthusiasm infectious as he began to shuffle the cards with practised ease.
As Suguru watched his friend, a small smile tugged at the corners of his lips, a flicker of amusement breaking through the haze of his melancholy. Maybe a game was just what he needed to distract himself, if only for a little while.
Settling onto the threadbare sofa beside Suguru, Satoru dealt the cards, his movements fluid and confident. During the game, laughter filled the air, and the tension from earlier just melted away as they enjoyed each other's company.
For the next few hours, they got lost in each other's company, laughing and enjoying the simple pleasure of being together. As they shared jokes and moments of companionship, Suguru felt the weight of his blues start to fade away. In that snug little apartment, with his best friend by his side, Suguru felt a spark of hope reignite within him.
As the game of cards wound down, Suguru found himself lost in thought, the weight of unspoken words pressing heavily upon him. He knew he couldn't ignore the elephant in the room any longer – the unresolved issues that had plagued their vacation, lingering like a shadow over their friendship. With a hesitant sigh, he turned to Satoru, his expression a mixture of apprehension and determination.
"Satoru," Suguru began, his voice quiet yet resolute, "there are a few things we need to talk about."
Satoru met his gaze with a steady, understanding look, a silent invitation to speak his mind.
"I know", he replied softly, his tone gentle yet firm. "I've been thinking about it too."
And so, they began to unravel the tangled threads of their shared past, addressing the misunderstandings and missed opportunities that had led them to this moment. With every word exchanged, Suguru felt a weight lifting off his shoulders, like he was finally letting go of all the stuff he'd been holding in.
But as they delved deeper into the complexities of their friendship, the conversation inevitably turned to the topic of love – a subject fraught with uncertainty and longing. And it was here, in the quiet intimacy of their shared space, that Satoru's beliefs came to light.
"I've always believed in soulmates", Satoru confessed, his voice tinged with a quiet conviction. "I don't believe in casual flings or fleeting connections. I want something real, something meaningful."
Suguru nodded, a glint of respect shining in his eyes. He'd always admired Satoru's steadfastness, his unyielding dedication to his beliefs. As he did, Suguru casually set aside the cards, lost in his thoughts.
"I feel the same way", Suguru admitted, his voice tinged with vulnerability. "But...I'm afraid, Satoru. Afraid of getting hurt, of opening myself up to someone only to have it all come crashing down."
Satoru reached out and gently rested his hand on Suguru's shoulder, offering a sense of reassurance amidst the swirling uncertainty. "I understand, Suguru", he murmured, his voice soft yet unwavering. "But sometimes, the risk is worth it. Sometimes, love is worth the fear."
And in that moment, as they sat together in the quiet embrace of their shared vulnerability, Suguru realised that perhaps, just perhaps, he wasn't alone in his fears after all.
In Satoru's strong belief in love, Suguru discovered a ray of hope, a guiding light that helped him navigate through his doubts and insecurities.
And as they talked long into the night, their conversation weaving through the complexities of love and friendship, Suguru couldn't help but feel a sense of gratitude – for the unwavering support of his best friend, and for the possibility of a love that transcended even his deepest fears.
As the conversation shifted towards the possibility of a relationship between them, a palpable shift occurred in the atmosphere of the room. Gone were the lighthearted banter and playful jests, replaced instead by a quiet intensity and a shared sense of vulnerability.
Suguru found himself drawn into Satoru's gaze, his friend's eyes reflecting a depth of emotion that mirrored his own. There was a raw honesty in their exchange now, a willingness to lay bare their hopes and fears without reservation.
"Satoru", Suguru began tentatively, his voice barely above a whisper, "What...would a relationship between us even look like?"
Satoru's expression softened, a tender smile playing at the corners of his lips.
"I think it would be...different", he replied thoughtfully, his words laden with meaning. "But in a good way. We know each other better than anyone else, Suguru. We understand each other's quirks and flaws, and yet...there's still so much left to discover."
He paused, then added, "And remember, we've already aced the whole fake dating thing.
Suguru grinned and nodded, feeling a surge of anticipation bubbling up as he imagined delving deeper into their bond.
"I want… I want something real", he confessed, his voice tinged with longing. "Someone who sees me for who I am, flaws and all, and loves me anyway."
Satoru's eyes gleamed with comprehension, his gaze steady as he talked.
"I want that too, Suguru. I want...I want someone I can be myself with, completely and unapologetically. Someone who accepts me for who I am, without judgement or hesitation."
There was a moment of silence between them, the weight of their shared desires hanging heavy in the air. And yet, amidst the uncertainty and the fear, there was also a glimmer of hope – a sense that perhaps, against all odds, they could find solace in each other's arms.
"I'm scared, Satoru", Suguru admitted, his voice barely a whisper. "Scared of taking that leap, of risking everything for something that might not work out."
Satoru reached out and held Suguru's hand, offering comfort in their mutual uncertainty. "I know, Suguru", he murmured, his voice gentle yet unwavering. "But sometimes, the greatest risks lead to the greatest rewards. And if there's one thing I'm certain of, it's that I want to take that risk with you."
Suguru couldn't help but smile. “You’re a poet now?”
Sator laughed. "Idiot."
Suguru nodded gently, still not knowing what to say. Luckily for him, he didn't have to find out; because Satoru had just closed the distance between the two and gently pressed his lips onto Suguru's.
Even though it wasn't their first kiss, Suguru clearly felt what it was meant to convey. He felt it in every vein of his body and responded with as much fervour as he could. His hands wrapped around Satoru's face, holding him as if he could simply disappear with the next breath.
He needed him and Satoru needed him, too.
Satoru's arms wrapped around his neck as their lips parted for a few seconds.
"I love you."
Satoru's voice made Suguru shudder, but before he could say anything, he felt Satoru's lips on his again.
He loved him.
He had said it.
Suguru wanted to say something back, but Satoru wouldn't let him. His lips found his again and again, and Suguru wondered if he had ever been kissed with so much gentleness. All the strange and unwanted thoughts seemed to melt away, and for the first time in a long time the stormy mix of his emotions made him feel okay.
Not perfect, not good, but okay. And okay was more than he had ever wished for in his life.
‘Okay’ meant he could call this person his and build a life. ‘Okay’ meant he was even closer to his best friend than before. ‘Okay’, that meant a life that offered at least the chance to be happy.
“I love you too… I guess I’ve loved you for a long time.”
Satoru smiled.
"I know."
Epilogue: An Ending with Fresh Beginnings
Suguru walked alongside Satoru, feeling like he was floating on air, cheesy as it sounded, but he was much too happy to care. Now that they were together, for real this time, everything just felt right. Their laughter echoed through the streets as they shared jokes and whispered sweet nonsense. Every glance they exchanged spoke volumes, reassuring them of their deep bond.
As they made their way to Shoko's, Suguru and Satoru found themselves enveloped in a bubble of euphoria, their laughter echoing down the street.
"We're behaving like lovestruck teenagers, you know?" Satoru remarked with a chuckle, his eyes twinkling mischievously.
But Suguru was not about to be ashamed, not even mildly flustered about his feelings. Not after everything he’d gone through to finally discover them, and especially not when he was still so boundlessly grateful to have found them reciprocated.
And so he only nodded, a wide grin adorning his face.
"We have every right to, don't we?"
Satoru simply smiled in response, a silent agreement passing between them.
Arriving at Shoko's doorstep, they were greeted by the familiar sight of her leaning against the doorframe, cigarette in hand. Despite her cynical exterior, Shoko's eyes softened at the sight of her two friends, now finally together.
"Look at you two lovebirds", she teased, a smirk playing on her lips as she ushered them inside. No judgement; despite what her endless ribbing might suggest otherwise.
As the night progressed, amid laughter and playful conversation, Suguru couldn't help but feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude for the two people beside him - his friends and his family; more than his parents had ever been.
There was the one who had been with him through thick and thin, no matter how stupid his ideas, and how avoidable his self-pity afterwards, when they inevitably failed.
And the other, who had been his rock and his bastion, long before he had also become his home.
At that moment, surrounded by the people he loved most, Suguru knew that no matter what life threw their way, they would always have each other.