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You Finally did it, you're really here with your best friend Jane McWoman. For the past few weeks you've been building up the courage to ask her to come see this movie with you. and after what can only be described as hours of whining and begging. She finally said yes. You knew she would after all you're the apex of the male species and any lady would be lucky to see a movie with you. You've had a crush on your Jane for a while now and you know she feels the same but because she's just a female she's obviously too shy to tell you so it looks like it's your turn to take the lead.
You finally look up from the reddit threads on your phone. Something called “am I the asshole for not tipping when I told the waitress she should smile more” or something like that. You upvote the post and notice the movie has started to roll the end credits. Jane looks at you waiting for you to finally acknowledge her but you bought her popcorn so making any small talk should be left up to the woman. She sighs and stands up heading towards the door and you follow. She must be eager to get out of the theater and go somewhere more private with you so you follow closely behind. You catch up to her a d start to chat since you have to do everything in this relationship
“Wow…that movie was better than I expected. Glad we finally got around to watching it.” you speak in a soft tone.
Despite the fact that you are an alpha male you know that women like nice guys so you'll just have to tame your wild side for now.
“yea it was okay…. Hey I'm gonna go dump this trash if you don't mind” Jane was clearly so emotional from the movie she forgot her place. You're the nice guy. It's your job to do every small task for her so you can then lord it over her the fact that she contributes nothing to the relationship. Yea. Just like the redditors say.
“Don't worry your pretty little head about it. Let me go throw away the trash and you can wait for me at the entrance.” God you're so good at this relationship stuff.
You walk away from Jane. You just know that she's swooning at the very thought of how manly You are for doing this for her. She probably thinks you're even hotter than she did before, which is basically impossible but still. You throw out the trash like the gentleman you are and head back up to the front. You walk up to jane to leave
“Alright now let's Go”
You look over to see Jane and she looks mildly annoyed….or maybe uncomfortable. You notice this and for the first time in your beta cuck Incell life you are actually thinking about a woman's feelings and how you could help.
“Hey, is everything okay?”
She looks back at you. So genuinely shocked you actually have an ounce of empathy in those tiny balls of yours she starts to respond.
“Oh, Yea this guy was asking for my number but once I said no he just le-”
ANOTHER MAN??! Jane is your girl! Even if you aren't “officially dating” that guy shouldn't have hit on her. What He did was basically harassment. No. ASSAULT.
“W-WhAT?... that guy was bothering you?” You are just so filled With rage. That's why you stuttered. No other reason.
“Really? Hold on. Stay right here, I'll be right back. I'm just gonna, ya`know talk to him. Don't worry I'll protect you.”You Hear no objection from Jane as she watches you walk the man.
“Hey you!-” you whisper shout as to let him know you're not a threat, but you could be “You're bothering my friend over there. What's that all about, do we have some kind of problem?” You must Sound so darn cool right now.
Just then four more men dressed in stripes emerge from the alley way besides the first guy. Oh shit these guys are big. But with your superior amounts of testosterone and a hot chicken on your side there's no real threat.
“Um.. there's um,uh, seems to be five of you now uh.” You take a quick breath and remind yourself why you're here. “you know I was just wondering if we like uh.. had any kind of issues. Like I don't want any problems or anything.”
None of the men say anything. They just slowly inch closer
“So if you could just” you manage to stutter out. “have a normal conversation-ah” you get cut off by one of the men punching you in your admittedly very punchable face.
“Ah- I'm so sorry” there's no point in words. The five men are each taking turns pummeling you and your weak-ass gamer arms can't do shit about it.
“Ow- oh- I didn't mean it-” a cat screams In the alley, probably just upset that your pissboy screaming woke it up.”HELP- any minute!” The men won't stop their relentless onslaught of blows. One hits you in the gut, knocking you to the ground. You try to find a way out of this when you remember Jane. She's probably already called the cops or has found someone to help you! You look up and see her turned around and starting to head in The other direction towards her car.
“hEy-ahg, where are you going”
No response from Jane as she keeps walking.
“Don't leave me- Ah”
Your vision begins to go blurry and you can't help but feel hopeless. Your eyelids start to droop as your body throbs in pain. This is the end of the line, this is how you die. You should have known from the beginning, the nice guys never get the girl. Your eyes begin to well with tears as you look and see a large fist hurtling towards your very punchable face. Then contact is made. For a split second you can feel the impact as it busts your lip open, and then, nothing. As you drift into unconsciousness you hear the five men laughing as one gives you a good kick in the balls for good measure.
