Chapter Text
Red.
Everything was red.
‘Wait, why am I the one monologuing about the atmosphere? That should be Hyung-nim’s job!’
Oh yeah, if you’re wondering. Hi, my name’s Tang Bo. Known as the Dark Saint and a taesang elder of the Tang family. I kicked bad guys, chugged alcohol as a hobby, messed around in a few places, and played about with my Hyung-nim! Life was going great for me. I even became Hyung-nim’s personal assistant and healed his wounds. God, his body was amazing.
Life would be going great right now, yes, IF I WASN’T about to fucking die.
Fuck, I’m wheezing like I was just suffocated by 50 pillows. AM I EVEN THE DARK SAINT ANYMORE??? I look like I just got food poisoning and then starved for six millennia on a plane to a new dimension! I look as bad as those fucking demonic priests that are always behind that nutcase the Heavenly Demon!
Whilst I was behind my sweet Hyung-nim’s back, I got blasted by that sickly demonic sect bastard’s slashes, I felt a tingly sensation— IT WAS BLOOD, and now I'm here, laying on the bloody ground in my Hyung-nim’s arms. Damn it, I can’t even see my Hyung-nim's beautiful face! Are the deities above just saying a big fuck you to me? Is this my karma? I would've been a Shaolin monk if that were the case, BUT WHAT'S THE POINT OF LIVING ANYMORE? MY EYE GOT FUCKING OBLITERATED! I swear, if I escape death, I will become a ghost and haunt these ghastly demonic bastards for the rest of their miserable existence! I WILL! I SWEAR ON IT!
However, what Tang Bo failed to realise was that he was too weak to be able to handle a single bishop of the Demonic sect. And that his final moment would be spent with Chung Myung.
_______
Chung Myung held Tang Bo in his arms, frozen, and quietly staring at Tang Bo’s miserable state. He bit his lip to the point that it bled and trembled precariously.
‘Fuck man, I got my sweet Hyung-nim depressed. Just let me die already. I’ve failed as a man.
I can’t even cry, but my heart’s breaking seeing him cry. Lords above, stop tormenting me like this.’
“Bo-Ya… Bo-ya… It’ll be alright… I will will help you… Hic…”
Chung Myung could no longer hold in his pain and whined pathetically on top of what remained of Tang Bo. His tears dropped onto him, and Tang Bo suddenly felt cold.
‘Please kill me. Please kill me. I want to die. I have to die. Let me die. JUST KILL ME I CAN'T WATCH THIS!’
Chung Myung brought the sinking Tang Bo closer to his chest, burying the brunette’s face into the nook of his uniform.
‘FUCK. NEVERMIND. LET ME LIVE A BIT LONGER. I SUDDENLY WANT TO LIVE. HYUNG-NIM!!! DON'T WORRY, I'M ALIVE AGAIN!’
Chung Myung hugged Tang Bo close to his chest. His heartbeat was fast and irregular, but Tang Bo couldn’t feel it as he had already ascended halfway up into the pearly gates of Heaven. By the looks of it, he was in absolute ecstasy-
Oh yeah, never mind. His looks aren’t half as decent right now.
‘Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. I should’ve gotten injured way sooner. Wow, Hyung-nim feels amazing. I think I'm in heaven now. Fuck yeah.’
If Hyung-nim saw me blushing right now, he’d punch me so hard. Too bad I'm in his arms, looking like a half-torn rag. I'm so glad my last moments are like this. Hehehe, I love you, Hyung-nim.’
However, Tang Bo snapped back to reality when he saw Chung Myung brush away the sweat-coated hairs on his face. Tang Bo’s vision was dwindling, but he still could discern the soaked face of Chung Myung looking intently at him.
‘Is he an angel? That has to be it. Yes, TAKE ME NOW. My arms are free, Hyung-nim.’
—Oh yeah, if you couldn’t tell, I’m in love with this man.
Ah, wrong wording. I’ve been in love with this man for 40 years. Yeah, sad, I know. I haven’t gotten to confess to him because I would run away at the last minute. Whenever I tried confessing, and he looked deeply at me, I’d get too excited and start jogging around in circles. And now… I'm dying in his arms… I almost did confess at one point—when I was drunk with him. DRUNK. DRUNK, I TELL YOU. God, I’m so pathetic. Now that I'm experiencing death, the one thing worse than this is the fact that I’ll die without telling him how much I love him.
It all started when he beat me up—No, I'm not a masochist—But when he defeated me, I saw how his broad back reigned at the top of the world. I was absolutely mesmerised by his everlasting energy and splendour, and ever since that moment, I had followed him without fail.
It’s weird how he accepted me. Even I wouldn’t have accepted me—gosh, I was insufferable —but he did . I went from a man with an uptight moral compass to a borderline vagabond who fawned over his hyung every second. And at this moment, I'm repaying him by showing him an unsightly appearance. A sick twist of fate, isn't it?’
However, in the midst of Tang Bo reminiscing of the fleeting past, Chung Myung was seconds away from dropping to the floor.
“Tang Bo… Are you there?”
Tang Bo coughed up blood. The blood he spat out seeped into the white clothes of Chung Myung, but Chung Myung didn’t care as he was only focused on the fatal condition of Tang Bo.
“Hyung-nim… there’s no use… I’m going to die…”
“I’ll finish this battle-! Just watch me, you brat! I can-“
“No… I won’t be able to watch… my vision is slowly greying out…”
Chung Myung’s eyes turned moist at the horrible truth. He wanted to deny it—curse it even—but he couldn’t do it if Tang Bo, of all people, said it. He was the one most uptight about his health, so who was Chung Myung to lecture him about it?
“But…”
Tang Bo whispered. Chung Myung leaned in…
’OH MY GOD IS HE GONNA KISS ME??? Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes-WAIT, I FORGOT WHAT I WAS GONNA SAY.’
Ahem, Chung Myung bent his head down to listen to Tang Bo’s request.
“Now that we’re both in this position… There’s one thing I want to say, Hyung-nim..”
Chung Myung’s red eyes lit, and his eyebrows quivered,
“Yes, you can say it! Just say anything.”
“…”
"I’ll listen! Tell me-!”
“…”
“You…..”
“You…..”
“…”
“You have an amazing rack…”
And Tang Bo died.
Chung Myung stared at the last smile Tang Bo gave to him. He looked so peaceful. Too peaceful in his arms, as if he truly was without regrets. And this made him break down. His Tang Bo died happily . To think his arms, bloody and full of scars, could be his one and last sanctuary on this god-forsaken land. He grieved, burying his face into Tang Bo’s stomach, and finally screamed his throat out.
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOO-!”
__________
Tang Bo had died. He wasn’t sure whether to feel happy or sad about it. He definitely wasn’t feeling pain anymore, and he wasn’t breathing awkwardly, but now, he can’t see his Hyung-nim anymore.
Actually, never mind. He was REALLY SAD ABOUT IT. After he weighed the pros and cons with the love of his life hanging in the balance, nothing could feel more shittier than this.
‘I miss Hyung-nim’s naggings and beatings already— I can’t believe I even said that —and I've said some pretty crazy things before…’
Tang Bo anguished- wait, can he even do that? Whatever, let’s just pretend he’s weeping on the floor right now.
He was beyond depressed. He thought death would be blissful, but now he just wants to return back to life to hug his Hyung-nim again. He wants to whine in his embrace and hoard his arms like it was his only lifeline again. He missed when his Hyung-nim used to cuddle with him! Especially when they used to drink and sleep together!
‘ARGHH! WHY DID I HAVE TO DIE?! HYUNG-NIM COME BACK! I MISS YOU!!!’
He collapsed to the floor like a big baby and slammed his fist against the ground(?) Is there even a floor in the afterlife? Gosh , he really needed to get with the times… What are the logistics of this place…
Either way, he didn’t care anymore. Pride? What’s that? He's dead now. Why does he have to care? Nobody’s gonna see him anyway. It's not like anyone can see him crying like a wuss on the floor, curled up like an ugly caterpillar in a cocoon and screaming a random man's name out in exasperation, right?
…Right?
Oh yeah, he forgot he was in the afterlife. And that nothing made sense around here.
“ …Tang Bo…”
‘Huh?’
“…Tang Bo….”
“…?”
‘Who???’
Tang Bo swiftly got up from the floor and wiped the tears and snot from his face. Although he was dead, the last thing he wanted was for people to see his face when he cried. He looked like a dog every time he cried… He never wanted to show it to anyone again…
Ah, the last time he cried was when he was sulking about his gift to Hyung-nim being destroyed, and then his Hyung-nim laughed at him… Wait, was Hyung-nim trying to lighten the mood? It only made him feel worse… Damn… that was traumatising…
“….Tang Bo…. I’ve come to bring forth a divine message…”
Tang Bo couldn’t see who was speaking. At least, that’s what he thought. Until a giant woman warped the fabric of matter around Tang Bo’s realm and forcefully entered through a hole. She was beautiful. Dazzling even. Absolutely spect-
‘Argh, shut up! Shut up! I don't have time to know about her looks!’
“Hey, aunty!”
“Hahaha, little one…
“-Huh?”
“I don’t know what you came here for, but I'm dead now, so I can’t do anything.”
“Ah… But you misunderstand… I haven’t come to retrieve something from you but because I am an envoy for rewarding the noblest of souls.”
“Huh?”
The giant lady chuckled.
“Ah… I expected you to be surprised, but don't be afear’d. I will uncover everything that there is to tell you.”
“You see, you have been nominated as the most righteous and chivalrous in your land. The gods have taken interest in your life and wish to grant you one wish before reincarnating you as an immortal deity in the Celestial Realm.”
“You can wish for anything you want: fame, power.”
“…”
“You could even become an absolute god.”
“…”
“So, what do you wish to do?”
“…”
Tang Bo chuckled and smiled brightly. The lady returned the sentiment.
“Hahaha.”
“ Hahaha.”
“ Ah…”
“…”
“Lady…”
“ Yes?—“
“Stop spouting bullshit and be honest with me. What the fuck are you doing here?”
The giant lady scoffed. This reaction? Who would ever speak to her like this? Not only did she come here with her best looks, but she had bestowed him prizes that not even the 1000-year gifts from Taizong could hold a candle to! If anything, he should be prostrating on the floor to her preaching, “Oh, my lady! I’ll worship you! Please let this soul come with you!”. She’s never seen this sight in her life and truly wondered if this was the soul that was seen by the omniscient beings above as the chosen one.
“ But I'm sure you don’t get it-! I—“
“Ok, let me get this straight.”
“…?”
“You’ve come here because I'm a person being elected as the chosen one by the oldies up in heaven because I did something that just blew you guys out of your fucking minds. And then, BAM, I get to choose what my powers are, and I get pulled in by you guys’ “buy one get one for free'' type bullshit where I get depression for free, but oh- at least I have some powers! Whoop de fucking doo! And once I get power-ups and some divine intervention, you plan to use me as some protagonistic hero to save the world and spread the name of the Celestial realm. Oh, and I will get worshipped for generations by some people, I guess . Woo, I'm soooo happy right now.”
“… Wow.”
“Wow? Yeah, I know. I'm awesome, aren’t I?”
“No… ”
“…Huh?”
“ I just never knew a human could summarise my entire point of coming here.”
“…”
“You’re good, human. You’re good.”
“Heh, I didn’t do much, grandma.”
Tang Bo then had a sprawl of an idea and fisted his knuckle into his hand.
“Hey, old lady!”
“…. Please just call me an esteemed goddess…”
“If you’re really gonna give me a wish, then I have one just for you!”
“ …Oh?”
“Yeah. I bet you’re unplugging your ears now! You better listen carefully because I'm just gonna say it once!”
The giant lady showed intrigue into the words of the feeble human. Until now, the little man was indifferent to her whimsical suggestions, but now, he looked so passionate that his eyes would set on fire. No! If anything, steam would be rolling out of his ears! For him to be so enthusiastic… Is he going to rise up as one of the most chivalrous people of them all? Will this chosen one wish for something otherworldly? She had to listen! This was a moment where she had to grasp it and make it hers! Surely, this human would give her something that would make her excuse all of the previous back-burning comments he said! Surely…
“My wish…”
“… Yes?”
“…”
“I…”
“I wish to kiss Hyung-nim.”
“…”
‘Huh.’
‘What.’
The giant lady almost laughed. She covered her mouth from letting out an embarrassing sound. Huh? Kiss who? Kiss what now ? Did this human really refuse her world-saving plan so he could KISS someone? Wait. Excuse me? Hold on a second. She almost thought her eyes and ears were deceiving her and tried wiping the dust off of them. Was this puny human really playing with her like a fiddle? Sure, this human is unlike the usual kind where they get overwhelmed from her presence, but TO VENT ABOUT YOUR LOVELIFE??? SHE WASN’T EVEN THE GODDESS OF LOVE FOR GOODNESS SAKE!! Please, this had to be a joke.
And, as if the devil wished to strike her down, the human then spoke even further,
“No! I lied- kissing him wouldn’t be a worthy wish... It’s too little of a prize.”
“Ah, I’m glad we’re on the same pa-“
“THUS! I don’t wish to JUST kiss him—oh no no no, you must take me for a fool!”
‘Yes, I do take you for a fool-’
“I wish to make Hyung-nim my boyfriend! He is too high and mighty for just a simple kiss! If I plan to kiss him, I must go the whole way, right? Kissing? Oh, you underestimate me—I’m more ambitious than you think! I must pledge that man as my boyfriend! Boyfriend? No, MY HUSBAND!”
“HUSBAND I TELL YOU!”
‘Please stop talking.’
“Surely, you must understand me, right? When you’re in the face of such divinity, you can’t help but be enamoured by its beauty! I’ve never seen such a dashing- BREATHTAKING man like him in my life! I mean, cmon—that hunk of a man wipes everyone on the floor! I mean, from top to bottom he just SCREAMS godly!”
‘I’m literally a goddess, you fool.’
Wait, didn’t that mean her beauty didn’t make him fall head over heels? Hold on, didn’t he also say that she wasn’t the least comparable? Over this HUMAN? Is he crazy? Or, is this other human just amazing? No, it couldn’t be that. It’s likely he’s just batshit crazy. Yep, this human can’t be won through words. This was a failure from the start.
“Hyung-nim must feel lonely without me… I feel bad for leaving him. Oh, he must be so sad. Hey, lady! You have powers, don’t you? Fulfil my wish already! What are you waiting for!”
The giant lady that was half crumbling away into dust, regained her senses and was overwhelmed by the momentum of the puny man.
“W-wait! Let’s not be too hasty! But even if you wanted to do that wish… I’d have to reincarnate yo-“
“ Oh?”
“… You…?”
“Oh…”
“…”
“Oh yes… ”
‘ Fuck my life.’
“Yes… Oh yes…”
“ … ”
“Why didn’t you say so sooner?”
The eyes of Tang Bo gleamed as he had a sinister smile wrinkled on his face. His pearl white teeth shined with the red glare that was plotting the end of the world. He rubbed his chin in extreme contemplation as he giggled under his breath.
“If you told me you could’ve done that, I wouldn’t have made such a hassle. Wow, so deities aren’t for jokes afterall.”
‘I don’t get paid enough for this.’
“Tsk tsk, I made a fool of myself! Ranting so much that my ears could pop off! That settles it! Lady, reincarnate me! I have a mission to uphold!”
“ Wait- Wait, wait. You know your wish requires you to reincarnate into this fellow human's world. But, to reincarnate- that expenses a lot from your wish.”
Tang Bo smiled brightly at the giant lady.
“What are you getting at?”
“ Well… There’s a chance you won’t be able to make him your… “boy.. friend” as the reincarnation takes away seventy five percent of your chance to fulfil it.”
‘Wait…’
“If you hadn’t died, well, there would be no need for a reincarnation process as you could retain your body and we would’ve interrogated you in your inner realm of subconsciousness.”
‘…Wait…’
“And, if you made that same wish, then, you wouldn’t be hindered by anything.”
‘No…’
“And, if you weren’t hindered by anything,”
‘No. No. NO!’
“Then you would have fulfilled your wish with a hundred percent chance of it coming true.”
‘NOOOOOO!’
Tang Bo stared at the giant lady. No, he wasn’t staring at her. He was staring off into the distance. His mouth hung open and his eyes threatened to pop out of its sockets. His arms and hands that were moving emphatically in the face of the god, now, dropped down precariously from his body. Then, after a few turbulent minutes of freezing in place, he collapsed to the ground and laid there pathetically.
“…”
‘…Um? Do I say something?’
“Human-“
“ Lady.”
“…Yes?”
“Can you kill me a second time?”
“…Ah…”
‘So that’s what you were sad about.’
“Hey.. At least you have a twenty five percent chance…”
This only caused Tang Bo to mumble obscenities to himself under his breath.
‘ Why this human…!’
The giant lady, disgusted by his repugnant state, withdrew her gaze from him. Looking at him made her serene mood turn sour and she couldn’t allow such a thing to lower her presentation. However, she gasped in astonishment. She forgot this human was important and realised the mission she had to uphold. If he died now, she would be killed by the higher ups! She flew down from the sky and violently shook the dead Tang Bo by the collar.
“You! Wake up!”
“…”
“ I said wake up!”
“…”
“This guy…!”
The giant lady began slapping Tang Bo’s cheeks. His cheeks that were fair and smooth, scorched into red hot air balloons, but his eyes are still as dead as ever. If anything, his eyes rolled up into his face and his head hung over from his dainty neck.
‘Is this bastard actually dead? But he's in the afterlife!’
‘ What does he want?!’
“Ah!”
The lady fumbled over her words, but had an idea to revive him from his faltering heart.
“There's- There’s a chance you can get him to be your boyfriend!”
The remaining words couldn’t even be uttered from her mouth. Tang Bo had shot up into the air like he was possessed and slowly turned his head like a robot to blankly stare at her.
“How.”
“ I- uh..”
“How.”
“…”
“How do I do it.”
She gulped, but soon gathered up her composure to explain the details,
“Although there’s a slim chance of you succeeding, if you proceed with the reincarnation, I will be able to give you divine intervention— well, cupids if you will— and they can somehow meddle with the strings and increase your chances of earning your love.”
“It's kinda like matchmaking if you think about it.”
“So, you’re meaning to tell me you’re going to send a bunch of old men to stalk me and my Hyung-nim’s love?”
“N-no! They aren’t old! Well, if you think about their actual age then yeah… But that’s not important! They look like your age and you’re….”
Tang Bo cocked his eyebrow up.
“They look… seventy six?”
The giant lady closed her eyes and wrinkled her face in resignation.
‘Why must he not look his age…’
‘No! Why doesn't he act his age!’
The giant lady cowered against the contradictory identity of Tang Bo. He has the face of a handsome man, yet his personality was shittier than all of the scum she’s ever seen. He supposedly died at the age of seventy six, yet looks like he's in his mid thirties. What’s next?? HE'S ACTUALLY A DRAGON?! At this point, she wouldn’t even be surprised. In fact, why isn’t he saying that? He should just come out with it already-
Tang Bo, being bored from the lady shuddering with her hands against her face, picked at his ear languidly.
“Anyways, I really don’t care about your silly little goons. As long as it increases my chances of being with Hyung-nim, then I'll take the opportunity.”
“Ah! Why yes! Of course! Yes, that’s what you should be saying!”
“What’s got you so enthusiastic..?”
‘Maybe because you’ve done nothing but enable my worries!’
“Anyways, it's time I get to reincarnatin’ or something. That sorta magical spell thing.”
“… Are you speaking informally- whatever I don’t care anymore. Get the hell out of my realm, I'll send you off quickly.”
And before he even knew it, a magic circle emerged beneath his feet as it overlapped with his body. The blue light that enveloped him soon began dissipating his body into thin air. Before he completely disappeared, the giant lady chimed in,
“Oh yeah! One final warning! The cupids can get annoying so it’s best to ignore them at first! Well, I'm sure you’ll be fine! You seem capable enough!”
“Until next time, strange human!”
Then, Tang Bo completely disappeared from the realm with nothing that could hint at even a trace of his arrival. The giant lady, feeling the room go mute, finally heaved out the breath that she was withholding. She looked up into the black sky that was bleakish and without life.
‘I'm sure he’ll figure it out. Even though the world he will go in is tough, he’s not someone that could crack easily? Right?’
‘…Right??’
Her mind was clogged with too many possibilities.
And the same could be said for Tang Bo, who had to embark on a new journey to finally get together with his hyung-nim. What could go wrong?
____________
Tang Bo opened his eyes. He laid on top of his bed with his body feeling as heavy as ever. Whoever the owner of this body was, they must’ve had an incredibly good sleep. He took in all of his surroundings from the counter that laid at the side of his bed to the well fabricated sheets on his bed. Immediately after looking at his surroundings, he felt familiar with the room. There was no mistaking it. The manufacturing of the walls to the colours, only one place could behave like this.
‘I’ve reincarnated back into the Tang Family…!’
Tang Bo felt like he could levitate in the air or kiss the floor. Never had he felt so relieved to have such a fortunate circumstance like this.
‘For once… you did something ok, big giant lady…’
He snickered to himself in his bed as he remembered all of his little brats in the Tang Family.
‘Ah… They must’ve missed me, didn’t they? Aww that’s a bit cute. I mean, I'm their taesang elder, the one who gives advice! These little guys aren’t nothing without me! Don’t worry my sweet relatives! Your great elder is back!’
This was in fact a bald-faced lie. All of them hate him.
Tang Bo, laying on the bed, sprung up from his spot.
‘Alright! No time to waste! I must-
Leave..?’
However, upon jumping out of the bed, his feet lacklusterly caught upon the bedsheet and he fell onto the floor. His face, now red from falling into the ground, stung as he rubbed it against his hands. His hands? Wait… Why did his hands look so weird? WAIT. WHY WAS HIS BODY SO THIN AND SMALL?!
Well, it was an exaggeration to say it was small, but it’s definitely not taller than his previous one.
‘Fuck, now that was embarrassing. Luckily, nobody was there to see it—BUT WHY DO MY HANDS LOOK SO WEIRD? Wait, no—WHY IS MY BODY SO SMALL?! No wonder I fell over- this body’s arms and legs are tiny! Well, it seems this body is well inept into poisons, but WHERE'S THE MUSCLES?! Is this body slacking off?? And there’s no scars or trauma whatsoever? Could this body be some sort of newly emerging tang member that has never fully practised daggers??’
Tang Bo, forgetting he was sprawled on the floor, quickly got up and tried finding the next best mirror. He found a mirror situated in the corner of the room and quickly lunged at it with his hands. The mirror, finally in his grasp, reflected his face- and his silly facial expression.
‘Hm. This body ain’t bad. Sure, this snobby kid is a little wet behind the ears, but this should be fine. At least, I can train with a body that’s starting from scratch. It’s a shame I didn’t inherit my looks. Tsk, you win some and lose some.’
Tang Bo shrugged his shoulders and began putting on his clothes. The tang fabrics and clothes did not change a bit and this gave him a sublime nostalgia and pride. But this wasn’t the time to feel like a proud nagging old-timer right now! He needed to settle things over with his hyung-nim which was supposedly in this world somewhere!
‘Well, if he’s in this world, there’s no mistaking that he would be in Mount Hua. I believe this world hasn’t changed much? Well, I don’t know much about this world, but I'll just find out.’
And so, this was the start of Tang Bo’s operation to seal Chung Myung’s love! Will they be star-crossed lovers that are inseparable until death? Or, will they fall out and ultimately become memories of the past?
Tang Bo hoped it was the first one- no, he SEVERELY hoped it was the first one. If, it wasn’t that one, he’d kill himsel- cough, be extremely sad.
It had to be… haha..
Right?