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I'll Take Your Dirty Money, But I Won't F**k You

Summary:

Kurapika launders money. Preferably small sums so he can stay out of trouble and live a relatively peaceful life.

At least, that was the plan before his sexy mafia client - Lucilfer - decided to pursue him. He may be just Kurapika's type, but Kurapika doesn't want anything to do with this deadly man and his dangerous life style.

Will Kurapika resist Lucilfer's advances and get his quiet life? Or will he give in to the debauchery that surely awaits him in Lucilfer's arms?

Warning: tags and warnings will update as we go, so take care and heed the signs!

Note: this story is one of my favorite webtoons and I just wanted to see it play out with these bois. Not my original story, not my original characters, just me enjoying two of my favorite things and sharing it with all of you.

Notes:

I'll update the tags as I go so I don't give away too much right away.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter Text

The sound of waves on the open sea was the surprisingly calming sound Kurapika heard as he stood on the deck of a private yacht. The sky was gray and overcast, lending to the morose feeling in his chest. A slightly cool breeze ruffled his hair.

I just don't get it, he thought. Who goes swimming in weather like this? It's not even sunny out.

Granted, who chooses to be a weapons trafficker in the first place? In a high conflict area, no less. To top it off, peddling to both sides of the conflict.

"Here's your towel, sir." One of the uniformed guards handed a towel to the pale man climbing the ladder from the sea back onto the deck.

I couldn't do it, Kurapika thought. I'd be too afraid to close my eyes at night. But this guy? He's just taking a nice little swim in the ocean. I'm sure no one would be upset if he accidentally drowned.

The man in question stood proudly in his small, tight speedo. It left absolutely nothing to the imagination. He could have been a Greek statue, for all the hard lines and perfect sculpting. The gods were extremely generous when they made this man.

He toweled his hair dry, catching a few spare drops that were sliding down his face

"Hello Kura. It's been a while. How have you been?" His small smile was dangerous, too damn attractive for such a dangerous person.

Kurapika put on his business smile, letting nothing of his wayward thoughts show. "Mr. Lucilfer. You're right, it's been a while." He did his best not to let his nerves show. No matter how many times he's done this, the crime lord across from him always made him nervous.

Kuroro Lucilfer. The man's aesthetic appeal was without parallel - any who saw him would be attracted, male or female. Lean body, sharp features, gorgeous raven's wing hair. The smile that made your heart skip a beat when it was directed at you.

"Ah, Kura, every time I see you, I’m reminded of a kid who gets bullied for looking like a little bookworm." He laid his towel on the bench and sat down, leaning back in his nearly-naked glory.

Despite his looks, he was most famous in the underworld for his infamous deeds. There was one time a smaller crime lord thought they could cross Lucilfer and disrupt his business. Lucilfer didn't just get payback. He took it out on the man's family too. First, he slaughtered the man's daughter at her own wedding. Tortured and quartered the man's wife in their own home. Finally, the man himself was found covered in holes in a pool of his own blood.

Kurapika shuddered as he recalled what this Adonis-like man was capable of and let out a fake chuckle at Lucilfer's bookworm comment. Despite how dangerous this man was, Kurapika was his money launderer.

Lucilfer's eyes narrowed. "What did I say about laughing at things that aren't funny? Why force it if it's not real?"

Kurapika let one more chuckle slip out, silently thinking to himself, I’m not crazy! If I don't play along, my life will be at risk!

"You remind me of my little cousin when you do that. I’m guessing you won't ask me for a gun though."

He let the comment pass unanswered. His eyes drifted down Lucifer's front. The dips and curves of his abs, the flex of his strong, bare thighs as he crossed his legs. Damn, but this man is my type. Kurapika swallowed and glanced back up, finding Lucilfer's eyes staring intently at him.

Kurapika averted his eyes. Don't stare, idiot!

He finally spoke. "On to business, then. How did you bring it today?"

"Right!" Kurapika reached into his satchel and withdrew a pieces of paper. "It's a certificate of deposit this time. He handed the paper over to Lucilfer, who paused to review it.

Kurapika glanced to the side, seeing the tall, blonde woman and the brawny, tan man standing at Lucilfer's side. These two were often with him on this boat. They took turns keeping an eye on Kurapika and looking towards their boss to ensure they caught any request he might make.

"Good work Kura."

Another staff member walked up with a drink for Mr. Lucifer, this one incredibly short with inky black hair. They'd walked so silently, even the ice cubes in the glass didn't clink. Kurapika didn't hear them approach, but he wasted no time trying to excuse himself.

"Right, well, if that's everything, then…" He started backing away, but Lucilfer's voice cut off his retreat.

"I have another job for you. The balance will be even larger than the last one. "

Kurapika balked in his head. Larger than the last one? He keeps raising the amounts he expects me to launder!

"Mr. Lucilfer…" Kurapika tentatively started.

"Yes?"

"I'm just a small time money launderer. I'm not sure I'm the best person to…"

"Don't worry, you're doing just fine."

"But Mr. Lucilfer! The amounts I launder for you make up over half of all the assets I manage! I run much to small of a business to deal with the huge sums you deal in an-"

"Cut off your other clients." His voice lost all of its levity and his hand clenched around the glass in his hand. He stared hard at Kurapika.

Kurapika was momentarily speechless after the sharp rebuttal. The other man continued.

"Will that be a problem? I know I pay you handsomely enough. You could even say it's a generous commission."

Who cares who good the commission is?! I don't want to keep seeing you, you crazy, psychopathic crime lord!

"Anyway." Lucilfer's voice was suddenly lighter, his earlier seriousness evaporating in a flash. "Do you like this bag?"

The blonde woman standing next to Lucilfer extended a beautiful leather satchel. The handle felt supple and buttery soft in his hand. Glancing down, he saw the name of a luxury brand affixed to the side.

"Sir?" Kurapika asked in confusion.

"The bag. I'm gifting it to you. It's nicer than your current satchel, is it not?"

Lucilfer stood and the smaller, black haired man returned with a white button up shirt, holding it out for the taller man to slide his arms into. The muscles in his chest and abdomen flexed deliciously as he shrugged on the shirt, letting it settle loosely around his shoulders.

"You clearly love your satchel, seeing as how you've worn it so long the seams are fraying. Why not switch to this one?" He tilted his head and regarded Kurapika with soft eyes and a slight smirk. "Well, you don't have to switch bags, of course. You can just throw it away if you don't like it."

Uh, no thanks. I don't intend to toss my own life away with the bag, thank you very much.

"Thank you, sir." Kurapika fell back on his business smile, as he always did when faced with an uncomfortable situation. As was often the case with Lucilfer.

The taller man stepped closer, suddenly within a foot of Kurapika. He leaned forward, eyes still soft as he bid farewell.

"Until next time, Kura."

Ugh. Is this really my life?? The least he could do is be less attractive! Dangerous jerk.

Holding the bag close to his chest, Kurapika kept the business smile firmly in place, taking a step back. "Yes, I'll see you next time Mr. Lucifer."

I didn't sign up for this. I just wanted to live a life without worrying about money. Was that too much to ask? What am I even doing here, in the middle of the ocean, with this dangerous man?

Forget worrying about money -- I'm worried for my very life with this man around!

Kurapika moved to the back of the boat and waited while the captain navigated them back towards the shore.

"Hello little one." A strong, female voice came from behind Kurapika. He turned towards the voice. Ah, the blonde woman.

"I'm curious. Do you really dislike Danchou so much?"

"You were next to Mr. Lucilfer right? One of his staff?"

"I'm Pakunoda, one of Danchou's staff, yes."

"As for Mr. Lucilfer, why would I dislike him? He's a valuable client, responsible for over half of my revenue. His commission alone makes up over three-quarters of my annual salary… and he gave me a gift, right?" Kurapika nodded at the bag in his arms.

What else could he say? It's not like he could tell this employee that he thought her boss was totally fuckable, if not for the whole psychopathic crime lord thing.

"I suppose. It does seem like you really dislike him though." Pakunoda looked out at the approaching land. The skyscrapers were visible in the distance, the shore quickly approaching. "We're almost at your drop-off point."

"Here's some friendly advice." The yacht slowed to a stop. She put her hand on Kurapika's shoulder as he climbed down the ladder into the smaller boat that would take him closer to shore. "Be careful. Danchou… well, he seem to fancy you."

"E-excuse me?" Kurapika stuttered out, more surprised than anything. "What exactly do you mean…"

He gripped the bars of the ladder as he reached the bottom. Holding a little tighter as the thoughts raced through his head. What exactly does she mean, taken a fancy? Like he likes me? Me??

"Couldn't you tell? He values you quite a bit, I assure you. Maybe it's not obvious, but that give he gave you? That's not something he does for just anyone. Hell, if you were gay, he'd have already eaten you up."

Kurapika stepped fully onto the smaller boat, clutching the gifted bag tightly. Eaten me up? Kurapika shuddered, whether in fear or arousal, he wasn't totally sure. The dangerous crime lord on the board suddenly seemed a whole lot more dangerous to Kurapika's freedom and worry-free life than he already way.

Pakunoda seemed to pick up on Kurapika's fear through his silence. "Danchous may be a scary man, but he's pretty gentlemanly when it comes to his lovers. He respects others' sexual preferences, so he won't make a move on you since you're straight."

Great… so gentlemanly…

Pakunoda started up the boat and pulled it away from the yacht, brining Kurapika back to the shore herself. Pakunoda only had one more thing to say.

"I advise you to be cautious, little one."

Kurapika made a vow to himself then and there. As the salty breeze sprayed his face, he resolved that Mr. Kuroro Lucilfer, weapons trafficking crime lord, and threat to Kurapika's safe existence would never find out that he's gay!