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Lucius leans in closer. “Well, what do you say, Mr. Hands?” He purrs.
Izzy leans away “Stop-” his voice breaks.
Lucius is jolted out of the moment. He had anticipated rejection, angry blustering, the man’s weird repressed issues. Not this. Fear .
He steps away, hands raised. “I’m sorry, I thought you wanted,” he’d thought it was a game, thought he’d had a read on the guy. This isn’t what he’d wanted. He hadn’t wanted to hurt someone, to take advantage.
Izzy looks away, a complex series of emotions crossing his face in quick succession. “Doesn’t matter what I want,” he snorts bitterly.
Now Lucius feels truly lost. “But if you do want me, then why,” why do you seem so afraid? Why do you act like you’re not allowed to want? There’s repression, sure, but this feels different. “You can say no, of course, but… Why?”
Izzy won’t meet his eyes, hands balling into fists and then opening again. He works the problem over in his mind, like a dog chewing on a stubborn toy. “You said once, you and Pete don’t own each other.”
It’s Lucius’ turn to frown. “Yeah, Pete and Fang are both fine with this?”
Izzy shakes his head. “You don’t own each other. But I am. Owned ,” he says with bitterness tinged in sorrow. It’s clearly a difficult thing for him to admit.
Lucius’ eyes narrow, pieces coming together. “Edward?”
“Hasn’t wanted me in years. But Blackbeard doesn’t like other people touching his things.” Izzy shrugs. “Just, don’t put yourself in danger again lad. Not for an old sailor like me. Not worth it.”
That fear he’d seen on Izzy’s face, that had been for him?
Lucius’ mind is filled again with the sensations of drowning. Calloused hands dragging him from the water, and a raspy voice cursing as he’s hauled, half conscious, to a hiding spot.
No, he doesn’t want to anger Blackbeard again, but the hot rage still grows inside him. “So let me get this straight. Ed gets to do whatever he likes, take another lover, and that’s fine. But you can’t even flirt if you want?”
Izzy just shrugs. “That’s just how things are. We both saw how things got when I tried to separate him from Bonnet.”
Lucius winces. “Yeah, no that was.” It had been a mistake with horrible consequences. Izzy had admitted as much. But that certainly doesn’t make the relationship Izzy had described ok.
“You’re allowed to want better.” Lucius says.
Again Izzy just shrugs, refusing to look at him. “Doesn’t matter that much.”
Lucius wants to argue, but he sees the wall he’s up against. He takes another step back, and waits to see if there’s anything else to be said.
Confusion replaces the other emotions on Izzy’s face, and at last he looks at Lucius again. “Why’d you stop? if you know I want… Most people keep going even after…”
His heart breaks a bit at the confusion and surprise in the question, and all the past that implies. “You’re allowed to say no, hun,” Lucius says softly. You’re allowed to say yes , he doesn’t say. That’s important, but not as important as his ability to say no.
Izzy’s frown grows as he mulls that over.
___
Izzy sits on a crate on deck, sharpening his sword. Lucius hasn’t approached him since, but he hasn’t been able to let go of what he learned either.
Lucius watches as Fang approaches Izzy from the captains’ cabin, clearly uncomfortable.
“Blackbeard requests your company,” Fang says awkwardly. It’s clearly some kind of code, because both seem to know and dislike what he’s saying.
But what- No, surely not? Lucuis shudders and watches Izzy’s face. The emotions are so clear, and all of them hurt Lucius to see. The bitterness and anger, of course, but hope, and resignation too, all tinged with pain.
Izzy stares at the sword in his hands for a long, tense moment. Fang fidgets, clearly wishing he had any job but this. Lucius barely dares breathe.
At last Izzy responds, barely a whisper. “No.”
“What-”
Izzy looks up, into Fang’s eyes, with more determination now. “No. I won’t. He has Bonnet now, and I won’t be…” Izzy shakes his head. “No.”
Fang shuffles. “Yeah, of course.I’ll uh… go let Blackbeard know.”
Lucius sees the fear in his face and steps forward. “Would you like backup, Fang?”
Fang’s face splits into a relieved smile, even as Izzy looks like he’s about to protest. They leave before he can.
“Does Blackbeard get… violent, when Izzy refuses.” Lucius asks tentatively, trying to prepare for what’s coming.
Fang shrugs. “I dunno. Boss… He’s never said no before, not to anything Blackbeard asked of him.”
Lucius closes his eyes. Of course. Lucius remembers watching from within the walls, nowhere else to go. He remembers Izzy dressed in Stede’s robe, as Edward pretended he was someone else. He remembers Izzy lying there, trapped in Edward’s sleeping arms, as silent tears streak his face.
“But yeah, I think this could get nasty.” Fang continues.
Lucius squares his shoulders. He’s absolutely terrified, of course he is. But he’s also going to give Edward a fucking piece of his mind. This won’t stand.
__
Izzy grabs his sword when the shouting starts in the captains’ cabin, but he hesitates. That’s not Edward’s voice, It’s Lucius’. What the fuck?
Still, Izzy knows Edward’s temper. He rushes to the cabin, not knowing how to protect Lucius, how to accept the blame for this.
As he slams through the door Edward stares at him, looking stricken. Tear tracks stain his face. “Iz, I didn’t. I’m sorry.”
Izzy freezes, absolutely no idea what to do with that. In the end, he plunges on as he’d planned to. “It’s not the lad’s fault, please don’t punish him.”
Edward makes a wounded noise, looking away. “Fuck, is that really what you think I’d-.”
Lucius makes a derisive noise, putting himself between Izzy and Edward. “So now you’re going to make him feel guilty about it too?”
Edward looks at Izzy, eyes shining with a storm of emotion. At last he looks away. “Iz.” He swallows. “I… You’re not “mine”. I’d forgotten… I didn’t mean it like that-. Well I did but. I’m sorry.”
Izzy’s knees buckle at this final rejection. He’d known it would come, sooner or later, especially after he’d said No to Edward. It still feels like a blow to the heart. At the same time, it’s almost a relief to have the end that’s been looming over him for so long finally here.
Fang scoops him up, carrying him out of the cabin, and Lucius follows, speaking soothing words Izzy is too far gone in his emotions to hear.
___
Izzy expects Lucius to make another move, now that the barrier is gone. He doesn’t, giving Izzy the space to grieve. He even goes as far as to point out that with time, and discussion, Izzy and Edward could work again, just with more even terms and expectations.
It’s not until Izzy approaches Lucius first that things take off.