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Crowley sat in his car and decided to drive to the West side of London. He tried not to think neither about Aziraphale nor what was taken from him. He lost him. He lost Aziraphale - his only and best friend, with whom he had desperately fallen in love. How could such a tragedy happen to him?
He loved his angel wholeheartedly, he had trusted him, he couldn't imagine living in this now-horrible city, where has accomplished what he was afraid of: after all these years, now, he is alone again.
Crowley was able and eager to be alone all his life. He could not imagine his life being required to be spent in one place at no time in his life. Neither Hell nor Paradise suited him - he was ready to be with them on the same road as long as it took, as much as it was possible for him. In all these years, he had found no reason or place to want to spend eternity anywhere or with anyone. But not everything is forever - he fell in love with a beautiful angel, the only person Crowley trusted. Whom Crowley appreciated and in the end, whom he loved.
He changed Crowley's life. Now, he had a place to which he wanted to return. A man appeared, on whose side Crowley was ready to remain forever. The man Crowley could imagine anything with.
But in the end, everything fell apart. 6000 years of sincere friendship, high feelings and not fully spoken words. They could be together, but this did not happen.
Aziraphale believed the beautiful words of the stranger and it was all over for Crowley. His friendship, his happy ending - that was gone. And it is unlikely that they will ever return to this. Their relationship cannot be saved. Aziraphale made his choice. Crowley made his.
Crowley drove all over east London, through all the terrible Highways, through his and Aziraphale's favourite parks and outskirts of the city. He drove fast, accelerated to throw out his emotions on the road. Crowley had driven about 200 km when he finally ran out of his steam. He drove to the nearest end of the road he was passing and turned into North West London. His heart ached. Lungs burned. Crowley decided to drive to some outskirts and walk there, despite the fact that it was already dark. Time no longer mattered to him.
Crowley turned west and pulled off the main road. He did not know where to go, but it seemed to him that it was worth going in this direction.
Crowley drove for a few kilometres, when he saw a small village. He decided to turn away and go home, to his new-found apartment, when he heard something he wished to hear in other circumstances.
Nightingale.
The sound of nightingale came from the north part of the village.
"Bloody Hell!", shouted Crowley, turning off the engine. "What for are you playing now? Want me to go over there?"
Crowley left his car and walked to the northeast, the lonely house of that stupid village. He walked for a few minutes, when noticed some strange details of that house. There were too many freshly arrived cars around here. The door was opened. It was a robbery.
Crowley decided to come to the nearest trees and stood there, trying to understand what was going on. And then he heard shotguns and woman’s scream.
Crowley ran to the nearest second floor opened window and in a moment jumped in there. He turned out to be in a rather small study room. There were many books and a laptop stayed on the bed. He went to the laptop, when he noticed someone else's appearance near him. He went to bed and then sit down near it on the carpet.
"Well, hello, adolescent, " said whispering Crowley, "what's going on? What were the guns?"
Crowley couldn't see a teen, only hear them.
"They got into our house. They have killed my parents!", said a nice, sad, broken girl's voice.
"Did you call the police?"
"It won't help', she said firmly, "one of the robbers is a police officer. They are involved in it. Are you with them? Are you here to kill me?"
"No," said Crowley firmly, "I heard guns and ran here. I will help you. We need to get out of here. Let's go".
After that Crowley stood up and went to the window. The same did the girl. She got up from the floor, took her backpack and went to Crowley.
"Give me your hand", asked Crowley.
"Okay", and with this word the girl gave her arm.
"Be quiet and close your eyes".
And that was what the girl did. She gave her arm and they transported to the trees in the backyard, where Crowley let the girl go.
"Run", commanded Crowley.
Crowley and the girl ran to the car together and after they sat there, Crowley allowed himself to look at the girl.
The girl was circa 15-16 years old, was fair-haired, had bright blue eyes and was rather short. She was beautiful, was 165 cm tall and in her eyes read the mind. And also, terrible shock and pain, which Crowley understood.
"My name is Alastor Crowley, and yours?" Crowley said, trying to keep his voice calm.
"My name is Jeanne Katz"
"I'm sorry for what happened to you. Do you have anywhere to go?"
"No", said Jeanne, "My parents were my last relatives", said in a heartbreaking voice Jeanne.
"Will you stay at my place for a while?", suggested Crowley.
"If I may", said Jeanne abstractly.
"You may".
After that Crowley and Jeanne started to drive silently. Jeanne was pale and her eyes were empty, she obviously did not understand much. Crowley felt sorry for her. He felt himself in her and therefore decided to help her. Be with him an angel ..... But that was not the case. Crowley was alone, without Aziraphale and his help.
Halfway through, Crowley turned on the Queen and Jeanne seemed to recognize them. Crowley tried to talk to her about music and they succeeded. But despite the lively talk about the rock of the 80s and 90s, they were both out of whack. Jeanne was ill and half an hour before their arrival, she fell asleep. The dream seemed to be peaceful for her, so when they arrived, Crowley didn't wake her up right away. He turned off the engine and, thinking about what had happened that day, sat awake in the cabin with Jeanne for a couple hours until she woke up. Jeanne seemed a completely harmless and sweet child. Where was God when today's stories happened?
"Come on," Crowley said softly to Jeanne, "we're there."
After that they went to Crowley's apartment. Crowley went with his plants and Jeanne with her bag. They went into and then Crowley said:
"I can help you", he said and then made a pause, "with getting rid of your emotions. Do you want it?"
They stood in silence and in a few moments, afterthought consideration, Jeanne declared:
"These emotions are mine. They are the only thing that is left of them to me. I loved my parents, but not as much as other children do, as they were not so fond of me. But, I want to have emotions. To be able to understand what I am left without. In the end, they were the only people who I loved. Do you understand me?"
"Yes", said Crowley having an image of Aziraphale before his eyes, “I understand. Do you want to sleep?”
“No”, said Jeanne, “I already have, but thank you”.
“You’re welcome”, stated Crowley, “Do you want to have breakfast?”
“Yes”
“Let’s go. I know a very good place.”
After that, they went from Crowley’s apartment where they had left their belongings and settled to the Ritz - Crowley’s favourite restaurant. To his surprise, their conversation started to go well. Jeanne was a nice girl, with a great sense of humour and unstoppable eagerness to learn. She was fond of natural and computer science and studied as an extern. However, to her parents, Jeanne’s eagerness seemed strange and useless. They wanted her to become a school teacher and stay near them forever.
In Ritz Jeanne and Crowley talked a lot about everything, but yesterday. At first, he felt sorry for her but now she started to remind him of himself.
Jeanne stayed at Crowley’s for a week and secretly, he was happy to have someone, who didn’t remind him of his angel. Jeanne started to feel better, but unfortunately, they couldn’t stay like this any longer. Jeanne needed to go to school and have a parent. At least, a foster one. And so, Crowley decided to have an important conversation with her.
“Jeanne”, started Crowley. It was a Friday night and it had been eight days since she lived with him, “we need to talk”.
“Alright”, agreed Jeanne. She, as well as Crowley, thought about this situation and knew that the day when she would need to go to the orphan’s house would come.
“I know, it is hard to understand, but we had a great time together. And I don’t want to lose it. So, Jeanne, will you become my daughter? May I adopt you”
Jeanne didn’t expect it. But, of course she wanted to. And so, she said: “yes’.
***
Though it was only ten days in Heaven, Aziraphale already was sorry for saying: “yes”. When he returned to his room in Heaven, after his first day in this toxic angels’ environment, he laid on his bed thinking of Crowley. Of what was offered for him. Of what he had chosen instead. All these years, Aziraphale had feelings for Crowley that he couldn’t name. Nevertheless, fate could name them. And Crowley could as well. He thought of Crowley more and more. Not about them, but about Crowley, about his feelings for him, for Aziraphale, and about all these horrible years. He tried to place himself in Crowley's place and understand why he didn’t want Heaven. Why did he want to stay on Earth with him, with Aziraphale? But it was painful to think of him. He wanted to be with Crowley.
To rest his mind, Aziraphale decided to think of him and about Gabriel. Gabriel took the place Aziraphaele now had, but instead of keeping it and talking with angels about creating a better world, he had given up on everything and went to his demon. Gabriel chose the completely different path, but he seemed to be happy. He chose love over a job. And Aziraphale chose job over love. Gabriel knew Belzebuth for only a few years, but he knew Crowley for millennials. Maybe his decision was wrong? Maybe he needed to do what Crowley did for him?
Crowley chose Aziraphale over hell. Aziraphale chose Heaven over Crowley.
He made the wrong decision. But now, it is way too late. He needs to help angels and people. He needs to help God. He needs to stay at Metatron’s side.
All these days he helped Meatatron and other archangels. And so, after ten days Metatron asked him to come to his cabinet.
“How are you, Aziraphale? Do you like it?”, asked Metatron.
“Yes”, lied Aziraphale, “I do”.
“Great”, said Metatron, “I’m sorry Aziraphale, that you have to give up your shop. I see you miss it. But we have a very important mission. The greatest mission of all. And I need you to participate in it. Will you?”
“Yes”.
“Good. Our final mission - to get God back. We can’t exist without him. I think you understand. Do you?”
“Yes”
“I have a plan on how to do it. But firstly, we need to wait for a few months”.
Then they talked for a little more. Aziraphale planned to go, when unexpectedly, the siren got on.
“What could happen on Saturday’s night?”, asked Michaell.
“I don’t know. I don’t think it is something important. But, let’s watch”.
They all went to the projection of Earth in the main hall. The light went from the point in London. When they have seen it, Megatron declared:
“It is Crowley. I don’t think it’s important. Just him using his powers”.
“But this power… It’s very mighty. It can’t be Crowley”, said Aziraphale concerned, “Only archangels could do it”.
“Mr. Fell”, said a surprised Metatron, “do you know Crowley’s angel name?”
“No”, answered Aziraphale, “I thought it was his name”.
“Up here? Never”, answered Metatron, “Before he fell, his name was Raphale - the creator of stars. He was for a long-term time the powerest creature in the world. It was he, who created the Universe. So yes, it’s his magic. Don’t bother him’.
“Okay”, agreed Michaell and everyone went their own way.
For Aziraphale, it was an unexpected revelation. He didn’t know it. All these years, he considered Crowley as a normal angel. But he was the right hand of God. It was him who was destined to tale Heaven. But why did he never mention it? Why did he give up God?
He wanted to talk with Crowley even more. He wanted to know why he didn’t even slightly consider an opportunity to come back. But mostly, he wanted to know what happened. Crowley wasn’t willing to use his powers. What made him do it? Does he need to help him?
***
It was a Saturday’s afternoon when Jeanne and Crowley got to the government’s foster centre. They got in, took a few photos and headed to the main table registration. The process didn’t take long. After a few hours, they got documents to sign up. They sat at the table and Crowley took papers.
“Jeanne J. Crowley”, started Antony, “as a last step, you need to sign up these two documents. And legally, you will become my daughter”.
“I’ll do it”, said Jeanne and took the pen. In a moment, she signed the first document. And then, the second. Crowley, smiling, took the document and went to the office. Meanwhile, Jeanne started to feel bad.
When they leaved office Crowley stated that it is a must for them to get to the Ritz and have the greatest dinner in the history of the Ritz, when Jeanne suddenly stopped. Crowley looked at her and saw blood coming from her nose. She made a step and passed out.
Crowley ran to her and took her in his arms. Then they got in the car. He opened the passenger’s door and sat her there to get her to the hospital. When he sat her, he took on her belt and then threw her hair off shoulders to get a better view on her face when he spotted something strange. Something unbelievable. On her neck, in the same place as his, there started to appear his tattoo. His demon’s tattoo, that he created to point out that he is no longer Raphale.
Of course it must have happened. He declared her his daughter. He stated it to the face of God. And now, she is his daughter. Not only formally, but also biologically. She got his powers - not all, but just some of them. To help her, he used his magic to help her feel better.
Jeanne woke up only at Sunday’s evening. She didn’t remember a thing about her passing.
It was a tough conversation, but she partly understood. She got Crowley’s powers - his knowledge of languages, his abilities to create wishes and do magic, his eternal live - but not wings. She didn’t decide to become either an angel or demon. And so, she stayed human.
On the next day, Crowley drove Jeanne to school. It was her first day and that’s why he didn’t want her to test powers. She felt good and promised to behave good. Crowley trusted her and while she was at school, he went to the place where he could get useful books for her and himself. He went to the Aziraphale, hoping to have Muriel there. But before it, she went to get coffee.
He went into Nina’s coffee shop. It was a Monday’s morning and it was 9 am, so except him there were only Nina and Maggie. They sat at the cash table chatting. When Nina saw him, she cried:
“Crowley! Where have you been? How are you? How is Aziraphale?”.
“I was at my house”, started to answer Crowley, “I’m fine. I don’t know - we don’t talk anymore”.
“Why?”, exclaimed Maggie, “you told him about your feelings?”.
“Yes, I have. But he chose Heaven over me”.
“And you are fine?” suspiciously asked Nina.
“Yes”, answered Crowley, “that night I stopped near the house where the robbery happened. I saved a teenager there - Jeanne and she stayed with me for a week, as all her relatives died. And this Saturday I formed custody over her. And now, I have a daughter”.
“Oh Crowley”, said astonishedly Maggie, “I’m so happy for you. You deserved it. You will be a great father. Where is she?”
“At school”, answered Crowley.
“And so, what are you doing here?”, asked Nina, being happy for Crowley, but a little concerned.
“Because of me declaring her daughter, she got some of my powers. And so, I came for books to get her. Is the bookstore run by Muriel?”
“Yes”, said Nina. “Do you want six shots of espresso?”
“Yes”, answered Crowley, “and how are you?”
“We’re great”, said Maggie smiling, “yesterday was our first date. As it turned out, you were right”. After Maggie’s words were spoken, Nina made a little laugh. They talked for a few more minutes and, promising of coming back again, Crowley left.
He crossed the road and now, he stood in front of the bookstore. He took a breath and came in:
“Hello, Muriel, how are you?”, with these words Crowley entered the store. But there was not an answer. Crowley stepped into the second room of the store and near the table, he saw Aziraphale.
***
After that conversation Aziraphale, on the next morning, came to the shop and made an agreement with Muriel. They agreed that if Crowley would be spotted coming here, she would call him and go away until their conversation would be over. Aziraphale hoped that Crowley would come there as soon as possible and to his joy, Crowley came the next morning. Muriel called Aziraphale and so he came.
He stood near the window and watched Crowley talking with Nina and Maggie. He seemed more relieved than the last time they spoke. And so, when he saw Crowley walking to the store he ran to the second room.
All these days Aziraphale sought an opportunity to talk. He made hundreds of scenarios of their conversation. And still, he didn’t know what to say.
***
“Hello, angel”, said Crowley changing his face, “thought you were in Heaven”.
“I was”, said Aziraphale, “but came back”.
“Interesting”, said Crowley sitting on a chair, “you came to talk? I thought you said everything you wanted to”.
“I shouldn’t have said that”, said Aziraphale, holding tears, “I shouldn’t have made that decision”.
“So, you came back”, smirked Crowley, “and for what?”
“To say that I am sorry. And to be sure that you are safe".
“Why did you think I was in danger?”, missing the part of being sorry, asked the demon.
“You used your powers on Saturday. Created a miracle. I thought something had happened”.
“Something happened. But I am fine. And you are? Do you like your ‘Heaven’?”
Then there was silence.
“Yes”.
“Lie to everyone but me”.
“I don’t like it. I was terribly wrong. I should have made the right decision. I didn’t understand what I had given up. I’m… I’m… “, after that Aziraphale stopped talking. Crowley saw pain on his face and was sorry. For both of them.
“Then come back to me”, asked Crowley, taking off his sunglasses, “Despite everything, I still love you. We can be us”.
“I would want to”, said Aziraphale, “but I can’t leave my job. Metatron needs me. He has a great plan”.
“Do not trust Metatron!” exclaimed Crawley, “he is pulling us apart. Leave Heaven. We can build ours”.
“I can’t. Please, come back with me”.
“No”, ended firmly Crowley.
Then, another silence came. They stood for a minute, when Aziraphale asked:
“May I know why you don’t want to come? Metatron told me that you were an archangel Raphale - the creator of stars. Is that true?”
“Yes”, agreed Crawley, “When I was in Heaven, I was one of the powerest archangels. I wanted to create. To help. To save. But neither Metatron, nor Father, nor Michael, nor Gabriel nor anyone else were eager to wait. To let things be as they are. I’ve created Earth. Planned these cities. Planned the stars. But they all started to get bored. They wanted to destroy everything. And so, I chose the side of people. I tried to prove to angels that we must protect people and living creatures. But, I was ignored. And so, I decided to go straight to God. I went. We talked. And he opened my eyes about him and angels. I know who they all are. And I hate them. Not only them, but demons as well. I hated everyone, but you. I won’t come back’’.
Then a pause happened and then Aziraphale said:
“I promised to help. Give me a few months and we will be together”.
“I will try”, agreed Crowley, “but it’ll be better for you to stay”.
“I can’t”.
“I understand. Do you need to go now?”
“Yes. What have you come here for?”
“Some books”.
“Oh, sure”, smiled Aziraphale, “what books?”.
“I need books about heaven, hell and magic for beginners and books about nephilims”.
“What happened?!”, exclaimed Aziraphale.
“To be short - after we broke up I took a long ride, got to some village where a robbery was happening. I ran there and saved a teen, who this Saturday I have adopted. And after declaring her my child she got some powers…. All in all, I am a father now. And I need books".
"I.. I don't know what to say", said Aziraphale, "You… you have a child!”
“Yes”, agreed Crowley, “and at least she stays with me. So, can I have books?”
“Yes, here you are”.
“Then, I will go. Good bye, angel”.
“Wait, Crowley, please. I don’t want to be without you”.
“I don’t either. But will you leave Heaven for me and Jeanne?”
“I can’t. We need some months and after the job will be done…”, spoke Aziraphale when Crawley stated:
“I have given up Hell for you. I am eager to forget about that conversation. But you… you have me as a second option. No, I don’t want to hear about your job. Forever, angel”, with these words Crowley left the store.
At 3 pm Crowley got to school and got Jeanne. Then, they went to the forest where they soon tasted Jeanne’s powers. All their way there Jeanne spoke about her school. And Crowley tried to get distracted by her stories.
***
Aziraphale got to Heaven where he spent 8 hours listening to useless reports. He should have stayed on Earth. But things turned out differently than he wanted. They had a plan - they had to make the Second Coming.
"When will Crowley know," Aziraphale consoled himself with the thought, "he will forgive me."
***
Life went on unchanged for two weeks - Crowley helped Jeanne with strength and lessons, and Aziraphale was busy with work.
However, everything soon changed.
Two weeks after their breakup with Crowley, Aziraphale was called into his office by Metatron. In addition to them, there were also about ten more angels.
“The time has come,” Metatron began solemnly, “to tell you about the Second Coming. As you know, it took the Antichrist and the four horsemen of the Apocalypse to summon Satan. But God can be summoned much more easily. To call him, we need to perform the ritual described in the scrolls. God can only be summoned by the magic horn of the creator of the stars. Only the archangel Raphael, known to us as Crowley, can call on God. For this, he needs his horn, which he hid."
"Crowley?" Michael asked, "why can only a demon call on God?"
"Because that was their agreement. I don't know how it was made, how it was made. I only know that they had an agreement - that Crowley would create a way for him to leave because God was looking for peace. However, since it was Crowley who helped him, he must know how to get him back."
"But this is nonsense!" exclaimed Aziraphale, "What makes you think so?"
"From the fact that I was there. I was next to God and Raphael when he raised Raphael to a demon. Crowley asked too many questions that God could not answer. Therefore, he reduced him to a demon. Initially, he was going to kill him "But for Crowley, death would be a relief. Because of this, they made an agreement: as punishment, Crowley continues to live, but when they meet again, Crowley will make God's life easier, and God will make him as mortal as the rest of the demons."
"And how do we get him to bring God back?"
"We will kidnap his daughter," replied Metatron, "Crowley adopted the child and we will take her and return her only if he returns God."
"Then it's decided," Mikhail agreed, "we start at dawn."
"Good," everyone agreed, including Aziraphale.
After that, everyone dispersed. Aziraphale couldn't believe what he was hearing, but he knew for sure - he had to go back to Crowley and save Jeanne. So, under the cover of night, he left heaven and went to Crowley's apartment.
At eleven o'clock at night Jeanne went to bed and Crowley went to water the plants. He was talking to the second bush when he heard a knock at the door. Going to the door, he opened it and saw Aziraphale.
"Crowley, please forgive me. You were right - I shouldn't have trusted heaven. I was in a meeting of Metatron - he... he wants god back! And for that he wants to use you with your daughter... I failed you "I failed our friendship, your love... I was wrong. I was completely unhappy in paradise... You were right! I should have stayed with you!", with these words, tears flowed from Aziraphale's eyes and his voice broke.
Without a word, Crowley walked over to Aziraphale and took him by the hem of his jacket, kissing him briefly this time. This helped calm down Aziraphale and after a soft kiss (the second in his entire life!) Aziraphale wiped away his tears.
"Don't be afraid," Crowley said, holding Aziraphale, "we'll figure it out. The important thing is that we're together. Our team is together again. I'm not mad at you. I still love you. Everything will be fine."
Crowley and Aziraphale entered the apartment and went to Crowley's office. There, Aziraphale sat down at the table and a minute later Crowley brought hot chocolate to the angel. They talked quietly for several tens of minutes about what happened this month. And that they regret that it all ended like this. By the end of the conversation, their tension around each other had subsided and an hour later, Crowley sat down on the table to face closer to Aziraphale.
"Do you hear?" Crowley asked.
"Yes. Nightingales”.
“Exactly. We will figure everything out. I promise, angel. Now, will you lean to me to get a kiss?”, asked Crawley with a small smile.
And then he did.