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‘‘See? I was right’’ Shadow’s gruffy tone barely reached him as he just stood there, face still covered by his hands. He crouched and pushed them into his eye sockets, squeezing his head tightly with enough force that he could see stars, but not enough to really hurt, never enough-
Nine was gone. Of course he was.
He wished all of this would be over. He was so tired of this never-ending adventure, where everything just kept getting worse and worse. He wanted to go home ( he was ‘home’ though, wasn’t he?), to play with Tails, to gossip with Amy and Rouge over morning’s tea, to lay down on the ground and close his eyes and never open them again, he was so tired, he was sorry-
He was sorry, he was so, so, sorry, wasn’t this enough?
Somebody touched his hands and softly pulled them away from his eyes taking the stars with them ( no, come back- ).
Oh, right. Shadow was here too.
‘‘Sonic’’ He said, still holding him by the wrists. Sonic made move to pull away. He might be a mess right now, but he is not going to break down in front of Shadow the Hedgehog - he’d rather swim through a hundred seas than do that. Shadow showed no sign of reacting to his struggle; he simply stared at his trembling hands.
Oh. His hands were trembling.
‘‘Sonic, breathe. You need to breathe’’ He wasn’t breathing? Shadow was still holding onto him, and together they lowered down to sit on the floor. Sonic closed his eyes and focused on the rough surface of the cave stone, freeing one of his hands from Shadow’s grasp to press it against all of the cave’s jagged imperfections, dents, and unyielding smoothness (He wished it would swallow him whole). He used his other hand to hold onto Shadow tightly. Shadow hesitantly squeezed back, and Sonic’s mind cleared for a second.
‘‘Sorry,’’ He finally managed to croak out an apology. His voice sounded alien to him, like his body was just a vessel that other people could take and use for themselves. And wasn’t it? After all, whoever he was, whatever he was those minutes ago when he fought the- what had Nine called it? Prismatic Titan…?
‘‘Because unless I can be more me, we lose.’’
Was it really him? Faintly he remembered the empty void in his head stifling over million thoughts from million versions of him just a minute before, the overwhelming energy ripping his consciousness from his body. Painful, but not quite.
Pain always had that effect on him. It blinded his senses enough so he could breathe out of the confines of his own head, yet always somehow brought him back to reality, readying him for a current task at hand. And if sometimes he came into battle with Eggman while his head spun lightly, well, it was nobody’s business but his own.
He wished he could feel this way again, even for a second. He’d do anything to disappear from his head, brimming with too many thoughts.
He was holding onto Shadow with so much force now, there was no way he hadn’t left a bruise. It was like it was somebody else controlling him again, and suddenly he was back and the void, the never-ending void was filling his head, filling his lungs, filling him whole, and he could do nothing but watch, why couldn’t he do anything?
Terrified, he rips his hand from Shadow’s, glove material slightly crunching as he balls them into fists, and stands up.
(He had been sitting? When? )
‘‘I’m. I’m sorry. Did I hurt you? Sorry’’. He clears his throat again, rubs at his wrists. Waits for Shadow to do something, anything . The latter stands now in front of him, arms crossed. ‘‘I… You were right. I shouldn’t have trusted Nine like that, I shouldn’t have trusted any one of them-’’ Chaos, this was pathetic. What was he, twelve? Shame and bitterness fill him from head to toe, and he squares his shoulders looking Shadow in the eye. Something, some unrecognizable emotion flashes through the amber irises, as quick as a lightning bolt. Disappointment? Anger?
..Pity?
‘‘I won’t make the same mistake ever again. You have my word.’’ If Shadow tried to say anything Sonic wouldn’t let him. Once he begun, he just couldn’t. Stop. Talking ( The name is Chaos Sonic. Like regular Sonic, but with twice the charm and none of the failure! ). ‘‘You were right! You were right. Trusting like that only gets you hurt. You even warned my stupid self against this, worried about everything when I was just running around. Well? Go on. Rub it in. Say what an idiot I am for throwing my trust out like that, for being like this’’. His head was swimming with colors, peripheral vision blurring slightly, fatigue finally catching up to him after those couple of days. He needed to move or he’d collapse. He had to keep the adrenaline going.
But Shadow still just stood there, looking at him with this unrecognizable expression. ‘‘This is the part where you say ‘That’s right you foolish rodent! I, Shadow the Hedgehog, The Ultimate Lifeform, am always right, and will now proceed to beat the everlasting life out of you. Prepare to pay for your sins!’ and charge at me’’ Sonic supplied.
‘‘I don’t talk like that’’ Shadow finally spoke, replacing his earlier expression with a typical scowl.
‘‘Sure you do. Well? I’m waiting for the head bashing’’
Shadow sighed. It was one of his long sighs, the ones he made when Sonic was acting particularly stupid. However upon sparing Sonic a glance something changed, and the weird look made its way back onto his face.
‘‘There will be no ‘head bashing’ hedgehog’’ Shadow proclaimed. Then, exasperated as if Sonic was the one being confusing, he said ‘‘I’m checking up on you, you idiot. Are you okay?”
Oh.
‘‘Pfft, sure I am’’ abruptly he felt uncomfortable with Shadow’s attentive eyes glaring right at him. Under any other circumstance he would’ve taken his sweet time staring into them, maybe cracked a joke to see how they rolled, or proposed a race just for the speck of light that’d shimmer through when Shadow would reply ‘Oh you’re on , faker’, and dash off to Chaos knows where. ‘‘Let’s go man, we’re losing time! We. We gotta get the shards back and stop Nine’’.
‘‘No.’’ Shadow replied calmly. Wasn’t he the one with supposed anger issues? “Tell me. Are. You. Okay.’’
Get your act together, you can cry all you want once it’s over. And stop worrying Shadow! He doesn’t deserve any of this.
Sonic strained out a smile. ‘‘Not really, but it’s fine, I deserved all of that. I’ll be fine‘‘ he added as if to reassure himself that what he was saying was true. “Let’s just wrap this up and go home, yeah?’’
“I just wanna go home”
“Home? Home doesn’t exist anymore. Because of you!”
Shadow frowned, as if he was thinking of the exact same thing.
‘‘Come on’’ Sonic said. ‘‘Last I checked, a bunch of eggheads were still in desperate need of some serious ass-kicking. You can save your head bashing for those guys!” He dashed off not waiting for a response. Moments later Shadow was next to him, a splash of bright color against ghostly greens blurring together.
As they neared close to a clearing, Sonic finally realized what the former expression on Shadow’s face was.
It was worry.