Chapter Text
"Thanks for the help, Silk Weaver." The officer expressed their gratitude towards you.
You had just finished up your fight against Tombstone who was struggling against your webbing as he was being escorted off into the police cruiser. A crowd of bystanders formed a ring around the scene as people were video recording and taking photos of their local superhero winning another battle against their enemy.
"What can I say another day another villain," You joked yet you knew what you are saying isn't want you are actually feeling right now. "Maybe next time we meet Tomby you can defeat me! But remember don't bring a gun to a webslinger fight."
The crook could only sneer at your joke as everyone around you was laughing. "Alright, Weaver you go home now. We can take it from here."
The mention of home made you freeze up for a moment before you quickly masked it with your charismatic hero persona "Yes home. The place where I can rest on a comfy bed after a long day of fighting villains. Have a nice afternoon officer."
You heard the officer reply back as you web-sling your way out to your home.
Your home or Earth-2173 is where you reside with you being the spiderwoman of Los Angelos. Your story was that at the age of 10, you were bitten by a radioactive spider and started to gain the powers of a spider. You could easily jump in tall places, produce a web that can't be easily cut, mimic other enemies' attack patterns, and our personal favorite make traps against your enemy. You were easy to be described as a person who was more brains over brawns but that didn't mean you lack anything in the strength department. Although being a superhero was great and all with the exception of J Jonah Jameson who keeps continuously slandering your name being (Y/N) (L/N) wasn't.
Your so-called home wasn't even a house it was an abandoned building that had more holes than walls that protected you from the elements. You didn't have a bed just a dirty mattress that you found in a local dumpster before you would find old ragged blankets but then opted to use your webbing as a blanket that helped when nights were getting colder. As for food...you would be lucky enough to find leftovers of wasted food that people had dumped out or moldy food that was still edible in a way.
Everyone loved Silk Weaver; the heroine of Los Angelos. The one who would save innocent people from criminals, stop evil villains from rampaging on the streets, and help those in need. But when it came to (Y/N) (L/N) no one spared a glance at her sitting on the streets waiting for her next meal, offered any assistance for her, or even asked her if she was alright. After all, people wouldn't be expected Silk Weaver to be a homeless 17-year-old who would use stilt-like shoes that made her look more adult-like, and yet she wonder why is she still helping the people that never once spared a glance at her, the same people looked at Silk Weaver with admiration and inspire yet they looked at (Y/N) (L/N) for being a homeless bum who was born homeless with no information of her biological parents not like she ever wanted to meet them. Part of you wished you could've used your power for being more selfish yet you knew better that your consequences would soon catch up with you ending your short live relief off the streets.
Life wasn't just fair.
Times like these if being Silk Weaver was worth all the admiration of the people. Was every pain you took from your villains worth it? Were all the scars that spread across your body an accomplishment only for your not getting some sort of reward? If you were to die would people finally realize that you were the idol they looked up to?
No.
You knew that your name won't be remembered as the girl who was Silk Weaver it would always be a faceless homeless nobody that nobody cared about.
Sighing to yourself you stripped your costume away and wore the simple clothing you had and left your home to clear all of the negative ones that you had but knew they would never go away as long as played hero. In times like these, you wondered why did you become a hero? Only to remember that two years after you were bitten the child in you wanted to be a hero who wanted to save people and be rewarded for all your hard work. Thus, started your career in crime fighting first started with simple robbery and small-time crooks then it was gangs and cartel members to the point you caught the attention of big-time criminals like Hammerhead, Kingpin, and Scoprion. Giving the attention you deserved from the people of LA, the admiration, the cheers, and most importantly the rewards; when you walked into a store they would give you weeks' worth of food free of charge some would even give you a few cashes that you would save up for better clothes.
Every minute you believed that this was an effort of all your hard work until you got too comfortable in the cycle that made you realize the hard truth. It started when you went inside a store you would go as Silk Weaver you were planning to buy a few snacks and a microwavable meal when you overheard the store clerk complimenting Silk Weaver's skills to another customer of how she has easily taken care of Rhino like no big issue you smiled to yourself at this little compliment though that smiled disappeared the more you heard them talk. You don't remember how the conversation escalated but you do remember the conversation was about the homeless problem that was continuing in LA and how should Silk Weaver should take care of the problem since no one would care for a few missing homeless people. You wanted to express your opinion about the issue so badly but how would you explain to them that Silk Weaver isn't that type of person? Could you even say that you were Silk Weaver? Would they laugh at you for even saying you were Silk Weaver?
Yes. Yes, they would.
Silk Weaver was the hope and light of LA. She was heroic, fearless, and confident. The complete opposite of you shy, insecure, and weak. This was the moment when you realized that the people only saw you as Silk Weaver and not (Y/N) (L/N) they only cared for Silk Weaver because she was this powerful individual with superhuman powers they didn't know about the girl under the mask who was struggling with hunger every day or how she move from places to places because people had no loved for the homeless and saw them as these drug addict junkies. Ever since that day, you decline the gifts that people were giving you and stopped going to stores you told them because saving people was all the reward you need when in reality it was because of the thought of receiving gifts that were meant for your persona and not you made you sick to the stomach to the point when you tried to something that was given by someone your stomach immediately ejected out.
The sounds of cards going past you broke your thoughts you had realized you ended up on the freeway and once again no one even took a glance at you. Not that you couldn't blame them these days you couldn't trust no one so who could trust you better yet why they help you in the first place? Taking a glance down below there was a busy freeway below. Days like these you wondered if you could just end it all. Not just by putting the costume away you always wanted to see if you could just your existence in general. What life would be like if you disappeared from the face of the Earth forever?
You wanted to end everything . No more playing hero. No more pain from your body and her mind. No more fake audiences that glamorize your heroic counterpart.
All it would take was one jump.
Though at the same time, you could never do it though. You were only seventeen at the moment and had a long road ahead of you, a small part of you hoped that just one day there will be something different. A change. A miracle. Something that would tell you to keep going and that there is something waiting for you at the end of the tunnel....although those thoughts were soon overshadowed by the darkness within you. Right now you were imagining yourself jumping and waiting for you to hit the road, hoping the death would be quick and painless. Only then you can be free from all these thoughts. All this pain you are feeling...but if you jumped will people miss you?
"Tch. Who am I kidding of course no one will miss me."
Of course, you knew. You had no family.
No friends.
No one you had a real connection or relationship with.
No one knew that Silk Weaver was you.
No one would link your death with Silk Weaver's sudden disappearance.
You wouldn't have to feel the physical pain you go through against villains or the mental pain you would always go through every day.
No more pretending you were okay when in reality you felt like a caged beast wanting to be free from her chains.
No more playing hero when you aren't.
The thoughts were agreeing with your brain that you sat down on the edge of the wall ready to jump at any moment. Slowly the thoughts were winning your brain over and over that you didn't even notice the flashes of police cars surrounding you or how the cars from both behind you and below you had stopped moving from the officers or how you couldn't even hear the voices of the officers trying to convince you to not go with your plan.
NO!
You were going through with this plan.
You were done.
You didn't want a life of lies.
You wanted a life where someone could understand the pain.
YOu wanted someone to see the real you.
Not Silk Weaver.
Taking one last gulp of air you pushed yourself off the wall and waited for the death you craved that would release you from the pain...but that didn't happen something had grabbed onto your waist at the last minute. You looked back to see who was the person responsible for your attempted suicide, your eyes widen on the culprit or was it a savior?
"What are you doing here?"