Chapter Text
English interviews are extremely nerve racking to Minho.
Even though his seven brothers always try so hard to make him feel comfortable, the language barrier really stresses him out. No matter how assiduously he attempts to follow the multiple conversations going on at once, he never quite seems to be in the same world as his other members.
The same pattern keeps being repeated : all of them continuously giggling and having a blast while he sits there, dumbfounded.
In those moments, he feels invisible to everyone.
Even to himself.
He always ends up leaving those events feeling drained and today is obviously not going to be any different, because it has not been 5 minutes into the interview and he’s already physically and mentally exhausted. He feels overwhelmed by the confusion that the complicated questions bring onto him, self esteem shattering more and more as the interviewer keeps talking to them in what sounds like gibberish to Minho’s ears. Thankfully for him, the well put lady never addresses him directly, sensing his palpable discomfort from the other side of the room.
Seungmin, who is sitting on his right, keeps sending adorable smiles his way, which would usually be enough to perk him up.
Today though, nothing seems to be working.
He just wants to go home and get this over with as soon as possible, the unpleasant feeling sitting in his stomach being his main focus point.
"The next part of the interview is a little game!" The interviewer exclaims, way too enthusiastically to Minho’s liking.
Maybe it has to do with the fact that he hasn’t slept these past two days.
Yeah, that’s probably it.
That and this headache that seems to have invited itself into his skull.
"I will give you sentences that you will have to complete. Try to stay as truthful as you can !" She continues.
All the members seem to have catched on, all nodding in approval.
Everyone but Minho of course.
Bangchan seems to notice his puzzlement because he quickly starts babbling the rules in korean. He doesn't specifically look into Minho’s eyes, but the 24 year old is smart enough to understand that the precisions are directed to him.
"Bangchan is so…" The interviewer starts, ready for the members to complete the sentence with whatever word that comes to their minds.
"Bangchan is so old!" Seungmin quickly exclaims with the brightest of smiles.
All the members laugh at that, so Minho forces a smile as well.
Surprisingly enough, he did understand most of that, knowing the Dongsaengs all loved to tease Chan about his age.
"Lee Know never..."
He raises an eyebrow at the mention of his name. Even if he couldn’t pick up the whole discussion, he is still quite curious to know what the members have to say about him.
Honestly, he could use a little humor right now to ease his heaviness pressing against his chest.
"Lee Know never cries." Chanbin exclaims, way too confidently to his liking.
Minho chews on his bottom lip, trying to not give too much attention to the words that just spilled so innocently from Chanbin’s mouth. There’s a camera smiling back at him and he does not want to make it obvious that the statement hurts.
Out of everything the members could have said, he wasn’t expecting that.
He doesn't know if it’s the fact that he is tired or the fact that he already feels in a vulnerable position, but the words sting.
Is that really how people perceive him?
Heartless and cold?
He does cry sometimes… He just makes sure that he does it behind closed doors.
"Oh…" Bangchan audibly lets out, surprised by the bold assumption. "Well, I've seen him cry before." He then adds, offering the second oldest a sympathetic smile.
Minho tries to look anywhere but in his leader’s direction.
He feels like he can’t handle this right now.
He’s on edge and so, so stressed out.
It’s when he feels tears burn the corner of his eyes that he knows that he really needs this day to be over altogether.
What is wrong with him?
He’s not usually this weak.
Not in front of his younger brother, not in front of Stay and especially not in front of a camera.
Never in front of a camera.
"No, Lee Know never dies!" Hyunjin proceeds to correct Changbin, eyes bright with kindness. He turns to the side, just enough to offer him a high five.
Minho returns the gesture, forcing out a small laugh.
He prays that it’s enough to hide his unsettledness.
He zones in and out for the rest of the interview, no longer very conscious of what is happening around him. He hears people speaking, but he no longer makes the effort to make out what they're saying. He only snaps back to reality when the producer of the show shouts CUT .
The second oldest member wastes no time in gathering his things, rushing out of the studio before his members can even realize what's going on.
He rushes to their little dressing room, ignoring the calls from his manager at the other end of the corridor. He closes the door abruptly in one gesture before crashing onto the couch, wishing he was anywhere else. He lets his face fall between his hands, taking deep inhales and exhales. He can’t stop his eyes from filling with tears again and it makes him curse with frustration.
He’s usually so good at keeping all of these emotions to himself.
If anything, Changbin’s statement should have been reassuring, a proof that he was doing a good job at hiding his torments.
So why, why were his words affecting him so negatively?
Why did it hurt so much?
Minho is pulled out of his thoughts when hears the door of the room open. He keeps his head well tucked, incapable of looking at any of his brothers right now.
There’s a small collective gasp and not too long after, he feels a hand against his shoulder. He doesn't dare to look up, because he knows how desperate he looks right now.
He can’t allow his baby brothers to see him like that.
It will make them sad.
He can’t make them sad.
The worst part is that he does not even quite know why he feels like this.
"Lino… What’s wrong kid? Talk to us please." Bangchan’s voice rings in his ears. It’s awfully comforting, but it also makes him want to cry even more.
"Is it something we did Hyung? We’re really sorry if we upset you…" Jeongin frowns softly approaching the couch on which Minho is resting.
Minho angrily bites back at his tears, looking up just enough for the members to notice the wet tracks that are leaking from his chin to his lap.
Jeongin looks at him sadly, not missing how a tear is slowly rolling along his Hyung's cheek. It’s a sight he has very rarely seen, but it is also comforting in a way to know that Minho is showing some vulnerability.
"I’m sorry…I…" Minho starts, bringing his arm to his face and angrily whipping at his tears. "I don’t know what’s wrong with me…"
Bangchan smiles softly, sitting by his side. He starts rubbing up and down his back in comfort.
"There’s nothing wrong with you. You just have some feelings bottled up inside mhm? It’s okay to let them out sometimes, Lino…" The leader explains, trying to get Minho to look into his eyes.
When he does, Chan can’t help but stare at his quivering chin. Minho is trying so hard to keep himself together, but the reassuring eyes of his Hyung is only making him crumble more. He clears his throat before speaking, not knowing if he would even be able to be coherent.
"I…I don’t even know…w-why i’m c-crying…" Minho tries to explain, little gasps catching in his throat and making his voice crack.
He hates being like this.
Both Jisung and Felix exchange a worried look, but Jisung is the one who decides to step forward.
"It’s okay Hyung…You don’t need to know why. Just let it out if you need to. It feels really nice to do so sometimes." Jisung insist, sitting on Minho’s other side and gently scoping his hand up into his own. "No one’s judging you. We’ve all been there."
Minho slowly squeezes Jisung’s hand in return, grateful for the boy's words.
He really needed to hear something like this right now.
"Crying doesn't make you weak Lino. It actually is proof of resilience." Changbin adds as he slowly kneels down in front of him, pressing both hands against his knees. "I’m sorry if what I said during the interview hurt you in any way. It was never my intention to be harmful." He then explains, sensing that he was maybe the cause of Minho’s inner battle.
Minho shakes his head repeatedly because the last thing he wants is for any of his brothers to feel responsible for his sudden meltdown.
He loves them all so much.
He doesn't want any of them to ever feel less like they've done something wrong.
"I-It’s none of your fault…I…I’m just tired today…I…I haven't slept much these past few days. I’m so-sorry guys. I’m so sorry for being a burden…" Minho weeps, posture falling apart more and more as the minutes pass.
Bangchan is done with Minho bringing himself down in such a way, deciding that it was the right time to wrap an arm around the boy. He does not hesitate a second more to pull him in his arms. Minho doesn’t protest, letting himself fall back against the leader's chest, shoulders shaking with every whimper as he melts into his hold.
"Shh…You’re good babe. You’re all good. Don’t ever be sorry for showing us how you feel." Chan insists, bringing his hand to the back of Minho’s head and gently caressing his nape. "It’s okay, I promise."
Minho squeezes his eyes shut, letting himself break right there and then, in front of them all.
At any other given time, he would have felt humiliated.
But for some reason, right this moment, he feels at peace.
He feels safe.
"I-I wish I-I could be more honest with guys. I-I wish I could let you see into my head more often, share my th-thoughts with you all." `Minho cries as he seeps deeper into the hug.
Before he even has the chance to consider breaking the hug, the other members all join them, squeezing him tightly.
They are all there, caressing him, holding him, comforting him.
It feels good.
It feels so good.
Better than Minho could have ever imagined.
"We’ll help you Hyung. We’ll help you be more truthful to what you feel." Felix promises as he pets Minho’s hair, biting back his own tears.
Minho lets out an audible sob, hiding his face deeply into his Hyung's chest.
Just like that, Minho allows himself to break, taking in the unconditional love of his seven brothers.