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“Ness, off,” Noa shouts in his typical monotone voice as he pats Hiori on the shoulder indicating the substitution. He was not going to allow any more mistakes, especially so early into the match.
Ness reaches a standstill, losing his peripheral vision as his chest becomes deprived of oxygen, hands trembling as they lift to begin questioning the coach. The germans voice shakes under the translator which is unable to pick up Ness’ mutterings;
“Nein, nein das ist nicht-”
“Ness. Get. off.” Kaiser demands knowing he's the only one able to get to his little magician, snapping the shorter boy back to reality for him to finally stop mumbling. Ever since his encounter with Isagi on the field during the Manshine match, he seemed to lose his sarcastic and cocky demeanour only to be replaced with this sour attitude towards everyone.
Alexis reaches self awareness and whips his head up to meet his eyes with Kaisers, mouth agape in a state of panic. Ness felt his heart drop realising what he had just done; the one who he had dedicated his whole career to suddenly wanted him gone without hesitation.
“Ness hurry up, Hiori play well,” the coach calls out one last time before letting everyone prepare for the match to begin again.
Isagi sends questions to Kaiser if the boy will be okay, only to be hit with the sharp response of: “I don’t care, shut up and win Yoichi.” The raven haired boy had let his on-field mask fade, showing a genuine concern for the small German, gazing over to see him drag his feet off the pitch, head hung low and hands digging deep into his arms.
“Stop acting like you care about him Yoichi, he’s just a tool, didn't you call him an asshole earlier? Just forget about Alexis and focus on me, you clown.”
“Fuck off Kaiser!” Isagi retaliates, spinning away from the dumb blonde ready to start again with one last glance at Ness.
Isagi is such an ungrateful little brat,
Kaiser just asked for him to focus,
kaiser wants Isagi to focus on him,
Kaiser wants Isagi’s attention,
Kaiser cares more about the clown then me,
Kaiser doesn’t care about me,
Kaiser hates me,
I’m worth nothing without him.
As Ness reaches the sidelines he stumbles, finding his hand on his chest gripping his jersey, brows furrowed and eyes fluttering with confusion as if he woke up in another world. Lungs struggling, vision empty, he only hears the sound of his own suffocation and spiralling thoughts as he collapses to the ground. Ness can feel the vibrations of steps approaching but slowly loses himself to unconsciousness.
Kaiser simply sighs, not even batting an eye at his teammate until the motion of Yoichi shot past him to go and check the boy now lifted into Noa’s arms. Isagi was obviously still out of his on field state as shouldn’t care for Ness, they didn’t get along at all, however Isagi isn’t the type to deny a persons talent; Isagi wanted Ness to carry on playing in order to further observe the two Germans and their plays, without Ness how would Kaiser fare? Would Kaiser be able to join the plays or would he simply become a bystander in the match? If so then what is the point in playing to devour Kaiser if he wasn’t playing with his full potential? Of course Isagi would still play to win, he was just annoyed to lose that extra motive that kept him improving to where he is now. After Noa affirmed that he would take care of Ness, everyone got back in their positions, with Isagi sprinting back to his spot hoping the quick run would clear his mind and put him back into the zone, focusing only on Ubers.
“Yoichi if we lose this I’ll get you sent to the infirmary myself. Get it together.”
“You’re such a bitch, we will win, and stop calling me Yoichi!”
…
Noa had simply dropped the boy off, now making his way back to the ongoing match, leaving Ness alone in the infirmary. It didn’t take long for him to regain consciousness, feeling his pulse at the back of his head pushing his headache around and keeping him from sitting up straight.
Despite BlueLock having plenty of support for physical issues and medical issues, there seemed to be a lack in psychological support, meaning Ness was not to be seen by anyone for a while. Ego had called in for a short period to check on the boy, discovering that his collapse had affected his memory and he couldn’t even remember being subbed off - Ego was unsure whether to inform the boy of all the events incase it would cause more issues, however at the same time he still believed that all football players require a strong resolve, and if this is how easily Alexis shatters then maybe he needs to be re-evaluated by his own team. Rather than reiterating everything that had taken place, Ego replayed back the footage and examined how the boy's face dropped, heartbeat kicked up and hands reached to grip his thighs once again, digging his nails into the flesh.
“Is this really what happened? Is this real? Did Kaiser really say that all? He really doesn’t care does he? I’m pathetic. I can't believe he wants that stupid little clown more than me.” The boy begins to ramble again, soon becoming incoherent as his breath runs thin and grip begins to tremble once again. It truly felt like he was losing his mind for a second time.
“Hey, Ness, glad to see you’re awake,” interrupted Anri, who stood there with a panicked face as if she had just ran a mile to talk to him, “I just saw what happened on BlueLock TV, and I know I was on break but Mr. Ego isn't really the best with these sorts of events so do you mind if we talk instead?” The question seemed to be directed at both boys, Ego nodded and Ness simply replied with a weak yes before pushing himself to sit up.
As much as Ness appreciated Anri’s concern for him, especially since it had been brought to his attention that this had happened on live television, he couldn’t seem to focus on her words in the slightest. He knew that if the words did not come from Kaiser himself, then there was no point in listening. What Kaiser had said on the pitch must have been true, Ness knows Kaiser hates lying unnecessarily, so Kaiser really didn't care about him. If Kaiser really didn't care, what is Ness even worth. All he did was sit in silence, stuck in a state of denial, wishing it was all fake, knowing that he was now nothing. Even after all the extra training that he did to try and get Kaiser's attention, and the times he spent so long in the gym that he had forgotten to eat, suddenly it was all a waste of time. Alexis was oblivious to the fact that his nails had caused the meat of his thighs to go white at the indents as he scraped into the skin, he couldn’t feel it, he wanted to hurt, it was only fair, it’s not like anyone would give a fuck anymore, he’s worthless. Ness had sat strangling his thighs until he passed out once again due to dehydration, as discovered by a passing nurse.
…
The match had just finished, BM and Ubers all heading back to their separately assigned vicinities, except for Isagi, and with Isagi came Kurona as they always seemed to walk as a pair. The hotline duo made their way to the infirmary in order to check on Ness. Again, Isagi shouldn’t care for Kaiser’s little boy-toy however it seemed that even Kaiser was no longer interested in the smaller boy's antics, and if that's the case then it'll affect how Kaiser plays on the field which Isagi does not want to happen.
A nurse scuttled out of one of many rooms, running to enjoy her dinner with the rest of the BlueLock production and aid team, so without asking Isagi assumed the room that was left must have someone inside. Isagi and Kurona walk up to the door and leave a little knock, with its only response being a soft hum, indicating it was safe to enter.
Ness should not have let them enter. He was so caught up on the fact that Kasier hates him to realise that Isagi caused this all, Isagi ruined his life and his reason for living. Yet he was the first person to come and check on him. Fucking clown.
“Is it okay if we come in Ness? You can say no, I'm aware you hate me but we just wanted to see if you were alive at least,” spoke the blue boy, much softer than Ness was used to, hearing him swear and degrade multiple of his own teammates and the opposing team in several matches during his time in Japan. Ness was still recovering from the exhaustion, drink held firmly with both hands, too weak to say no to the two boys. Despite his want to hate Isagi, it was too much effort right now, and he could feel faint again so at least someone would be near this time.
“How are you feeling?”
A small German mutter left his mouth, translating to fine, however it was clear he was lying; the boy refused to make eye contact and his left leg bounced anxiously. In this state he might as well give up lying and accept fate, Ness could not be more vulnerable than he is now.
“Are you sure-sure?” added the shark toothed boy, leaning his head to the side knowing he isn’t the type to talk much but still wanting to show some care.
Silence fell upon the room. The answer was obviously no, but saying that aloud meant everything was real, and Ness would have to accept his mistakes, and it is all just horrible and Ness wished to himself that he had never met this stupid Japanese boy with eyes that showed a sincerity he’s never seen before. Ness simply stared between the two boys before shaking his head to reveal the truth. Despite being unable to muster up the words, he wanted someone to know the truth even if they didn't care if he hated them.
“Alexis, if I can call you that, please know that what happened was not all your fault, Kaiser has always mistreated you and everyone has recognised it,” the truth had to be told, Isagi decided it was about time Ness was informed of all the shit he has sat through, “Kaiser is not worth all your effort or skill. Ness you’re just an amazing midfielder, no wonder you are nicknamed the magician, when you play it's truly mesmerising,”
“Magic-magic,” Kurona added, knowing Isagi was about to run onto a big tangent.
“But seriously, Ness your plays are magical to watch, it is a shame the only person to have access to your magic is the one person who seems to hate everyone right now, you and I included. Kaiser doesn’t deserve you, you treat him like a prince. I understand some people in life are special, however Kaiser, he is not deserving of your loyalty and care. Ness you are allowed to live your life without him, people always move around, what happens if he leaves?” Ness’s eyes suddenly twitched at the thought, all of these kind words but he still wanted to fight for Kaiser. Was he really not worth it?
“If he leaves, you will still be cared for. You are not just someone's pet, you have a human heart and I care. I do, as much as I say things on the pitch that I probably shouldn’t even though I am kind of unaware of it, I do think you’re important Ness. You are worth a lot more than you think, not just in money but in life, you deserve much better than that annoying guy with shitty hair. Alexis you truly are amazing.”
Isagi decides to stop his train of thought to let Ness think, while observing him slightly: Ness had loosened his hands on the drink, ready to set it down next to him, legs no longer shaking and breathe becoming more stable and even as he looked back up to meet with his eyes, tears dropping down his soft red cheeks as he realised that this really was something Ness hadn’t received in a while.
Ness couldn't believe how genuine this boy was. Isagi knew that he hated him, but he still cared, he still showed genuine appreciation that Kaiser never would, Noa never would, and it's been so long since his family had spoken that he forgot what it was like to be recognised for more than just a puppet of another player. The tears wouldn’t stop as he thought more about how nice these two were to him. God he missed being treated like a real person. He failed to recognise himself leaning into the arms that had enveloped him, Ranze holding him around waist from the left side, while Yoichi held his head in his arms, letting the boy softly sob into him.
Noa had not stepped into the room, but had spent a few minutes listening in just in case Ness still had enough energy to bite, but it seemed he was not needed. He sent a small message to Ego to tell him the situation before heading off to his office.
As Ness begins to calm down, he falls back to sleep, leaving the two boys to tuck him into the bed and let him rest before he has to join training tomorrow.
“Rest well Ness,” Isagi whispered, half-way out the door.
“Night night,” hummed Kurona, closing the door behind him.
I really am worth more aren't I?