Chapter Text
Frustrated.
That’s the only word he could use to describe his current state of mind.
And it was even more frustrating that the bush of green hair tucked under his chin and stocky, scarred arms loosely wrapped around his torso didn’t help.
They had just become 3rd years and his nightmares from the war had significantly improved, but the dream that woke him up a whole ass hour before his alarm was different. But not unpleasant, save for the regret that hit him like a freight train upon waking.
Even with his confession during the war and Izuku’s verbal response in the hospital afterwards, it had still taken them months to get comfortable in this new level of their relationship.
From the outside, it may not have looked like anything had really changed, even now.
Sure, they sat closer to each other during lunch, on the train, or the common room couch. Katsuki didn’t have to glare at someone anymore if they were in his spot (see also: next to Izuku).
And yeah, Katsuki’s explosive outbursts were few and far between and even more rarely aimed at Izuku. The idiot brigade also noticed that the outbursts aimed at them lacked the teeth it used to have.
And admittedly, he stopped hiding his fond looks at Izuku behind a gruff exterior and happily listened to his rants and mumblings that had blessedly returned after months of Izuku’s uncharacteristic silence.
But things hadn’t really been all that different before… right?
Fuck. Who was he kidding? EVERYONE could see their relationship was different now.
The crease in his brow deepened. Images from his retreating dream flashed through his head. Them sharing a relieved hug after the sludge villain, Katsuki supporting Izuku through his training with All Might, helping care for his wounds after the UA entrance exam, Izuku and him sitting together, opening their acceptance letters to UA together, celebrating with food, maybe some illegal quirk activity, maybe a kis-NOPE. Stop that.
Katsuki lightly punched himself in the face and huffed, nearly forgetting the boy that was koala’d to his side, who groaned and shifted, but eventually relaxed back into sleep. He released the breath he didn’t even realize he’d been holding and closed his eyes.
Anyway, back to the emotional self-torture.
It took a moment, but he was able to pull bits and pieces of the dream back. The images of all the times he could’ve been supporting Izuku, protecting him, just BEING with him, simultaneously caused his heart to swell with love and his stomach to tense and sink with regret and self-hate. He’d gotten so much better at forgiving himself for being such a shit back then, but even he had days where he couldn’t help but think about how he used to be.
Was there anything he could actually do about it? No, not really. Unless he could miraculously find someone with a time travel quirk. Ha. As if. Quirks were fantastic and varied, but the chances of something like that existing?
No way… right?
This regret was going to eat him alive.
~
His eyes squinted at the sun as he brain fought to catch up to him.
…not quite time travel… therapeutic… emotions… more harm than good… use your quirk… injured… tell the difference… no evidence… change the present… stupid… watching you…
Rude.
A woman’s voice echoed in his skull, but as loud as the voice was, it was broken, cut off. He tried to piece it together but a school bell rang, bringing his attention to the gated building he stood outside of.
Aldera Middle. He glanced down at his watch, hoping it had updated to /now/. It felt like something grabbed and squeezed his heart as he noticed the date and time.
It was today. The day he let his pride guide his mouth unabated. The last time he would speak without being fully conscious of the words. He remembered laughing with the group of boys as he left Izuku in that classroom, a pit in his stomach opening up that he refused to acknowledge, refused to follow up on. It’s not as if Izuku would take his advice, right? Even then, Izuku knew Katsuki better than to believe he meant what he said… right?
If his eyes scanned the top of the school building as he walked out of the gates, no one else had to know.
A slight panic bubbled in his chest as the voices of students filling out of the building reached him. He was only a few years older and had definitely grown, but anyone who saw him would easily be able to tell that he was, at least related to, Bakugou Katsuki.
Speaking of, he was unsure how he’d react to the living, breathing reminder of all his past mistakes being within arms reach. At least for now, he figured it was a good idea to keep some distance and stay out of sight.
He lifted his face mask, just a standard black one, over his mouth and nose and shucked his hood over his hair. Staying on the street side of the wall, he aimed for where he remembered the koi pond being. The window of his old classroom came into view just as a familiar notebook flew out of the window, splashing down into the previously mentioned koi pond.
It was both a blessing and a curse that he couldn’t hear anything from where he was. Self-flagellation was oddly comforting… or something. But he understood diminishing returns. He’d been ruminating on those exact words for WEEKS (scratch that, years), hearing himself say it again wouldn’t do anything good for anyone.
Whatever.
He moved back toward the front gate, against better judgment, and watched his younger self and his “friends” start the walk home.
Wait. Look damn it.
His heart jack hammered in his chest.
He KNEW he looked back. He REMEMBERED looking back.
Please.
PLEASE LOOK BACK.
The smaller form did stop a moment after that. It took a moment, but he watched, lungs burning from his held breath, as the head of spikes shifted, sparing a glance toward the top of the building. It was short, but it was there, and Katsuki let out a shuddering breath, his hand prying itself out of the shirt where he’d held it with a white knuckled grip.
He didn’t get a second to relax though, as those spikes quickly shifted again and red eyes seemed to lock on to him.
Or at least where he had been.
His training had absolutely given him an edge over his younger self. Even without his quirk, he had been able to scale the wall of the school yard and hide himself in the branches of one of the trees that grew up and over the wall. He watched for a moment longer as those familiar red eyes scanned the sidewalk, glancing suspiciously up the wall, before he continued on his path, shoulders hunched and left hand shoved firmly into his pocket. His friends barely even seemed to notice.
That’s right, you little fuck, /keep/ walking. Ugh.
It wasn’t long after when Izuku slowly made his way out of the gates, looking understandably more down than usual. He turned in the same direction little Katsuki had gone and began the walk home.
Fortunately Katsuki knew Izuku’s route, and had made sure it hadn’t been different that day, so he didn’t need to be a creep about it. He jogged to the abandoned 8-story building just off Izuku’s route, a sort of infrequent club house for delinquents, and waited for the bushy green hair to come into view.
Honestly, the most annoying part was the backpack, but Katsuki was able to snag his target, take him to the building, up to the very top floor, and get him tied up without much noise at all. Not that Izuku didn’t struggle or try to fight back, Katsuki was just bigger and stronger.
Looking at the shaking middle schooler in the most comfortable position Katsuki could manage to put him in, surrounded by everything soft he could find, his heart sank. He was working on autopilot since he ended up in front of the school, only thinking about his one goal: making his younger self appreciate having Izuku in his life.
…not quite time travel… no evidence that it could change the present…
That’s right. As shitty as this felt, what he did here had almost no chance of changing the present. He remembered that much for sure, but was still struggling with the rest of what she had said.
So far, other than some quiet mumbling, Izuku hadn’t tried to speak to him. But as Katsuki opened the little flip phone from Izuku’s bag, his eyes became wide and scared.
“Please don’t call my mom!” He shifted, tugging against the restraints and ending up on his side, tears springing to his eyes, “She worries enou-!”
“I’m not gonna call Au-... your mom.” He presses a button, pulling up the list of contacts.
“Wha… then who?” Realization quickly seemed to dawn on the scrawny boy’s face and then his whole body seemed to slump in defeat, “I don’t know why you picked me, but if you want money, a useless quirkless kid like me isn’t a great pick. But better me than someone else, I guess.”
The last part was said so quietly, almost as if Izuku didn’t want him to hear it. He did though, and it did things to his heart he couldn’t describe. But he had to focus. His finger pressed the call button and listened as it rang, once… twice...
“He won’t answer” the small voice from the soft pile assured, “Dad’s in the states and his phone is never-”
[“The FUCK do you want, nerd?!”] The phone didn’t even have to be on speaker for the gruff, angry voice to be heard all over the room.
Izuku’s eyes regained their vibrancy as his eyes shot up, his voice nearly a whisper, “K-kacchan?! I thought… but my dad…”
[“You better fucking say something or I’m hanging up!”] The voice echoed around the room again.
Katsuki looked down at Izuku as his little nerd brain processed, then back at the phone, “The abandoned building, just south of the river. You have 30 minutes.”
[“Who the FUCK are you and why are you calling on shitty Deku’s phone?!”]
“Kacchan! Stay away! It’s just a prank!” Izuku shifted himself again and began worming his way toward Katsuki, grunting in between his frantic shouts.
[“Deku, what are you playing at?!”]
Katsuki sighed, “Like I said. 30 minutes.”
The call ended, leaving the “fuck off” from the other end cut off.
“So you’re using me to get to him! I don’t know what your deal is, but he’s not coming! Sure we grew up together but I’m nothing to him… he doesn’t… he doesn’t care about me…” Izuku's worm crawl slowed to a stop, his sudden burst of anger melting into sadness as he rested his chin against the cold floor, tears threatening to fall as he voiced something that seemed to break something within him. He shifted to his side, drawing his knees to his chest, and swallowed a sob, “He doesn’t care about me.”
Oh no.
Oh /no/.
Katsuki knelt beside Izuku, a hand hovering above a shaking shoulder, unsure whether his touch would help or hurt. He took a calming breath and placed the hand firmly on Izuku’s shoulder, “He does care.”
The sobs gave way to sniffles as Katsuki’s hand continued to rub at the small, delicate shoulder. He couldn’t help but continue, “That boy has a lot of issues. I probably shouldn’t be telling you this, but… I’m doing this to help him get past those issues faster.”
Wet green eyes peered up at the masked face, recognition glinting in his eyes, “T-take… take off your mask.”
It was still shy, but Katsuki’s stomach fluttered with pride at the demand. Small and scrawny and weak, but so fucking strong, even now. His finger hooked the top of the mask and pulled down before shoving the hood from his head. Red eyes watched as green darted around his features. He could see recognition, confusion, curiosity, questions, all swirling together.
Cute.
“Ka… kacchan?”