Chapter Text
It’s as the saying goes: bad things come in threes.
The first one was understandable, Stede reasons with himself. Ed had been quite busy with preparations for his upcoming tour, with daily rehearsals and daily changes to the supposedly finalized setlist.
“It just keeps setting us back”, Ed had explained, “adding more songs to practice and to remember the lyrics”. He sighed. “Honestly, I can’t wait to just get on the road and onto the stage.”
Ed didn’t mean anything by it, or rather, he meant what he meant, what was explicitly said. He was tired of talking about music and just wanted to start playing it for the crowds. That was his natural habitat and where he felt the most confident and relaxed. He didn’t mean he wanted to get on the road and away from Stede . Stede knew that’s not what he meant, but a tiny voice inside him still made him doubt.
But that wasn’t the actual first strike, as they say. The first one came on a Friday, one day before Ed was supposed to fly to the other coast, where the tour would start from. That Friday, however, happened to be Stede’s birthday.
Stede had woken up early as he always did, said good morning to Ed with a quick peck on his cheek and got out of bed. He needed to be at the office at 9am on the dot, so he usually woke up at 7:30am to go for a quick run before work. And that’s what he did that day. He was exactly one year away from turning 50, and he was getting increasingly worried about taking care of his body. He could be a vain man, of course, but his daily running was more for health purposes than looking fit. Though that wasn’t a bad side effect either.
He came back from his run, boiled the kettle and started making coffee with his precious gold-and-black French press. Ed had given him one as a gift after Stede had complained more than once about how many Nespresso pods the two of them went through on a weekly basis. “Sure, they say they are recyclable, but how do we know they are actually recycling them?”, he had asked. Ed was always on the lookout for something that Stede might say that would give him a gift idea and he took that bait. It was hard to give something to a man who had everything and was also particular about everything. But this was a great, thoughtful gift which showed that Ed listened to his ramblings, and Stede had loved it. Bonus points, now his coffee tasted better also.
While the coffee was brewing, Stede jumped into the shower and made quick work of it, in case there was time for a birthday treat from Ed before work. The thought made him half-hard already and he barely left his conditioner working on his hair for the required three minutes before he rinsed it and got out of the shower. With a towel around his waist, he left the ensuite bathroom into their bedroom and found Ed was still sleeping.
Of course he would be, why wouldn’t he, Stede chastised himself. Ed had stayed late at rehearsal last night and once he got home, he barely had the energy to walk to the bedroom. He had made a beeline to the couch, but Stede intervened, grabbed his hand and walked him to the bedroom. The poor guy dressed down to his boxers, fell face first into the bed and that’s where he stayed all night. He deserved his rest.
This morning, Stede looked fondly at Ed sprawled on the bed, sighed and got on with his day. Clothes, hair, coffee. Wallet, keys, phone. A kiss on Ed’s cheek and he was out the door.
It wasn’t until some time after noon that Stede heard from Ed, as his phone buzzed a couple of times in his pocket.
Ed: morning love
Ed: afternoon actually innit
Ed: anyway
Ed: sorry I was late last night
Ed: I miss my blondie already
Ed: how do u feel about dinner before I have to leave tomorrow?
Stede smiled at his phone, imagining Ed texting him with his bed hair and face still creased from the pillowcase. He loved this man so very much. His heart hurt at the mention of Ed’s departure the next day though.
Stede: That would be lovely, darling. And there is no need to apologize, I don’t expect a rockstar to have a 9 to 5 job! Speaking of, I’ll try to leave early today and be home before 5 if all goes well.
Ed: ❤
No “happy birthday” message, but Stede thought that Ed was probably waiting to say it in person while showering him with kisses and gifts. That’s it, that was the reason. Plus, Ed was organizing dinner tonight, so that would be great, and lovely, and romantic... There was no reason at all for Stede’s mean tiny voice to be rumbling on the back of his mind.
The day went by faster than usual, since Stede was trying to cramp a lot of his tasks into a couple of hours of work to get home early.
Lucius and Olu, who worked with Stede in his office, took him out for lunch and it was lovely. Mary had Facetimed him that afternoon as well, with Alma and Louis fighting for screen space to sing “Happy Birthday” to their dad. Mary had finished the call asking if Stede was still going to drop by on Sunday and he had excitedly confirmed it. Doug had texted him some good wishes as well and Stede was feeling that voice subside a bit at the amount of love being shown towards him.
Stede got home at around 4:30pm and found the house empty. He deduced Ed had gone to meet the band to finalize the setlist for the hundredth time and decided to head into his walk-in wardrobe to start looking at dinner outfit options. Ed hadn’t messaged again to let him know any details about time, place, dress code - perhaps it was a surprise. Stede liked surprises and liked a challenge even more, so he started combing through his clothes to find an outfit that would work for both a casual spot and a fine dining restaurant. That was going to take some time, so he was glad he was able to leave home early.
The clock was nearing 6pm by the time he had found a somewhat wild card combination of clothes and he hadn’t heard from Ed yet. He decided against calling so as not to interrupt any flow the band could have been in at that moment, and sent him a text.
Stede: Darling, I was wondering if you could tell me when you’ll be home and what time our reservation is? Hope rehearsals are going well! ❤
The voice in the back of his mind started stretching from its slumber and making itself known again.
Stede sat down on his study’s armchair, taking care not to crease his carefully pressed trousers. He grabbed his half-read copy of Eoghan Daltun’s An Irish Atlantic Rainforest and decided to read some of it until Ed got home. It was a Friday, his birthday even, so he deserved to relax a little too. That’s what he told himself, and it was in no way some sort of distraction from the lack of contact from Ed.
The numbers on the digital clock on top of Stede’s desk kept rising, along with Stede’s hunger - and anxiety. He finished reading his book. By 7pm, he had called Ed twice and gotten no response. It was nearing 8pm when Ed finally called him.
“Love, hi, I just saw your texts and missed calls, shit, I’m so sorry, I don’t think I’ll make it to our dinner, fuck, I’m so sorry”, Ed rambled.
“Hey, darling, just breathe for a second, it’s fine”, Stede soothed him, and heard Ed taking a deep breath. “That’s it. Are you alright though? Are you still working with the guys?”
“Yes”, Ed sighed, he sounded tired. “Izzy wanted to go through the latest songs we added to the setlist and then Jim wanted to try a fucking acoustic version of one of our songs, so we had to figure that out and it’s just…a lot. I didn’t realize the time, I’m sorry, love, really”.
“Ed, don’t you worry about that, I understand your work is important–”
“You are important, Stede”, Ed interrupted him.
“Oh, well, maybe, but your tour is right around the corner and I know you want to impress your fans. Remember what you told me that day? That they pay a good penny to see you guys live and you don’t want to disappoint them. That is a very noble attitude, darling, and I love you for it. So don’t worry about me, okay?”
Ed sighed, “Thanks, love, not sure what I did to deserve you”.
“Oh, don’t be silly, you deserve way better”, Stede said dismissively. “I just hope you don’t stay too late, resting is also something you deserve, you know?”
Ed chuckled, “yes, I know.”
“What time is your flight tomorrow?”
“Eight in the morning. Ugh, I haven’t even finished packing…”
“I can do that for you”, Stede offered.
“Love, no, I can’t ask you to do that…”
“Nonsense, you’re not asking anyway, I am offering. And honestly, your packing skills leave much to be desired so it’s best if i do it myself.”
Ed scoffed humorously but agreed to it. “Fine then, Professor Packing Skills PhD M.D.”
“That doesn’t even make sense!”
“Pfft, whatever. Oh fuck, here he comes”, Ed warned. “Izzy found me in my hiding spot, love, gotta go. I’ll try to wrap this up as soon as I can so we can have some time together, alright?”
“Alright, darling. See you soon!”
“Ta-ta!”, and the call ended.
Stede slumped into his armchair. Realistically, there was no way Ed would get home anytime soon. He resigned himself to it and went about making Ed’s bags.
While he was going through Ed’s clothes, dividing them into categories (tees, crop tops, pants) and colors (dark black, medium black, soft black and the lone purple one), he let his mind wander to a somber path.
It was obvious by then that Ed had forgotten about Stede’s birthday. That’s fine though, he thought, it’s not like it was Christmas or a national holiday or something important anyway. For his past two birthdays, Ed had organized lovely day-outs and romantic dinners. The kids even joined them one of those days. Ed had somehow accidentally tricked Stede into believing that perhaps his birthdays were something important, something that needed to be celebrated, and that he deserved attention.
What a fool, he thought. Why would Ed waste his precious time organizing something for Stede? And spending time with him? Ed did say Stede was important, but he wasn’t as important as his music and that was fine! Music, and his band, had been with Ed for longer than Stede had been in Ed’s life so he had no right to even think of putting himself above it. That was quite embarrassing, Stede thought, thinking that I mattered at all.
He finished packing Ed’s luggage and decided to go to bed. He had lost his appetite.
Stede fell asleep with tears in his eyes and dark thoughts swirling around his mind. He didn’t even see when Ed came home late into the night.
He dreamt of cuddles and neck kisses, but didn’t realize it was all real.