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“Okay, so we’re claiming self-defence-“
“Claiming implies that it wasn’t, this was self-defence.” Matt reminded Foggy with a slight smirk, they both knew what Foggy meant but it was late on a Friday night and Matt had promised not to spend it as DareDevil just for Foggy.
“Right. The point is he stabbed her and we’re not trying to deny that. So we could open with ‘guilty party say ‘what’’ and he says ‘what’ so we can be like ‘Your Honour, members of the jury, if things were that simple we could enjoy the free bagels and go home early. That would be a mistake though, yes, our client stabbed the accuser, but isn’t it important to know the circumstances. What?” Foggy demanded turning mock angrily from his grandiose pacing to look at Karen and Matt attempting not to laugh. Matt was actually biting his hand and Karen’s shoulders were shaking.
“Guilty party say what?” Karen lost her composure, leaning on Matt from behind as she laughed.
“I think we might find something a little less primary school.” Matt suggested mildly, smiling stupidly.
“Why can you make jokes in your statements but when I try it’s all ‘nooo Foggy, we are grown ups now’, huh Matt, it’s not fair?” Foggy pouted.
“His jokes are subtle, and mature.” Karen argued.
“His jokes are all about justice being blind, which, sure, is funny, but kind of obvious.” Foggy grumbled sullenly, that was a brilliant opening speech.
“It only works because half the jury have thought it already and most tend to feel a little bad for laughing at a blind man, it makes them appreciative to us.” Matt argued, he’d taken a few psychology courses while Foggy had done theatre and art and strange, impulsive electives. It came in handy. That and he knew well that people saw him differently, felt bad for things that really didn’t matter because they weren’t sure if it was rude.
“Guilty party say what is an amazing line and we are neglecting good jokes that need home, can you really turn it out in this cold you heartless people?” Foggy demanded.
“We’ll give it a letter of recommendation and some food.” Matt assured.
“Let’s not take it to court.” Karen agreed.
“But I think it would really work.” Foggy complained, reaching for his coffee and finding it cold, he was mostly arguing for the sake of it by now and they knew it.
“Rule 3; Not allowed to attempt to use ‘Guilty party say ‘what’’ in court.” Matt declared.
“Why does he get to make the rules? Karen, quick, we need to come up with a rule for Matt.” Foggy dropped into one of the chairs giving up on the coffee.
“Matt has to make the coffee?” Karen suggested teasingly.
“Oh god no, I tried that in college and I stayed awake for nearly 60 hours, I could almost see music.” Foggy groaned and Matt smiled proudly.
“He asked if I knew how to keep him awake long enough to learn enough to pass his Punjabi test. I delivered.” Matt explained reasonably.
“You didn’t have to keep giving me the concoction every time I asked for coffee.” Foggy complained. “Hey! You’re not allowed to blame seeing eye dogs for anything.” He exclaimed.
“That will be easy since I don’t have one.” Matt agreed and Karen wrote it down.
“Matt, I still have a bruise on my eye from your ability to walk into doors. You’re getting a dog.” Foggy argued.
“You’re lucky we aren’t in court because I don’t think you can afford to be perjuring yourself.” Matt teased.
“Not allowed to blame seeing eye dogs for anything.” Karen read the rule, having written it in the ‘rulebook’ they’d brought as a joke after the first two. With Foggy satisfied at having made a rule for Matt they returned to planning the finer details of the case, practicing speeches and appreciating Karen’s input. A fresh perspective certainly made it more fun.