Work Text:
"Thanks for choosing to dine with us! Come again!"
Butters waved to the final family in the restaurant, he still had a couple things left to do. As the manager, Butters needed to do more work, which meant staying late. But it wasn't too bad for him, after all he was happy working, felt like he had a purpose, the same could not be said for his friend across the street.
Alone lay Cartman, drunk and homeless, Butters expected him to go off and make millions, he was a smart guy, who knows how he ended up like this.
He wiped the tables and moped the floor, it had already been done by the janitors but Butters loved this place as if it were his own home. He read through part-time job résumés and filed through the restaurant taxes, the boss of this place is practically only leeching and doing nothing to help, so Butters has to do even more extra work to keep this place running, but he doesn't mind, because he's happy.
At 2:52 AM he finally finished all his work, placing everything in it's place for every employ to have it easy. He put on his coat and took the keys, there was one last thing he needed to do though, something that made him relieved that he works until early morning so that nobody will see.
He walks across the street, a hot meal in hand, and crouches down to where Cartman is laying.
"Eric.. Eric wake up.. Jesus Christ don't tell me you're too drunk to wake up."
A moan and a groan is heard from the intoxicated man, clearly aware but too stubborn to move.
"Fuck.. off Butters.."
"Eric stop bein' a bitch and get off your ass." Butters yanked at Cartman's sleeve, trying to pull him up from where he lay, and eventually, he managed to get him to sit up.
"Ugh... It took you fucking long enough, now I'm too tired and don't want to be bothered asshole, you wasted my time."
"Eric you need to get up, I'm not leaving you here and you know that." Butters ignored Cartman's narcissism, he's known him for long enough for it to affect him. He's still naïve sure, but when it comes to Cartman he knows better than to let him get under his skin.
Cartman rolled his eyes and got up, he did in fact know that Butters wouldn't leave him. There was a time where Cartman overheard that Butters was bitch-talking about Cartman behind his back, which pissed him off even though he had no proof he did. Later on when Butters tried to take him to his home again, Cartman refused and stayed planted on the ground without budging. Butters proceeded to sleep there with Cartman, on the street, for a whole two weeks. Eventually it got to a point where he almost overslept and people started to show up, Cartman didn't want people to actually see them one day and decided to follow Butters home again.
The ride was the usual, as always, Butters talking about his day at work and the gossip he overhears, the sound of the radio playing music as they drive down the familiar road. Finally they pull up to Butters home and hop out, a warm light welcoming them from the porch.
Cartman eats the meal Butters made for him, devouring it as if it were his final meal. After that he takes a shower and Butters picks up Cartman's clothes and puts them in the washer. Butters also decides to shower and change into more comfortable PJ's in contrast to his stuffy work uniform.
Butters puts on the movie Cartman wanted to watch, going to put the now damp sweater of Cartman's into the dryer.
Cartman gets out of the shower with only a towel covering his lower half, Butters is in the living room scrolling through his phone, the door to the guest room slightly open having some clothes laid out on the bed. He put the clothes on and heads over to the living room seeing a familiar set up, medical care equipment, and a stool.
Cartman sits on the stool and brings his arm out, Butters turns off his phone and gets up to do his daily check up on Cartman. Despite Cartman being a worthless piece of shit that only takes up more space, Butters still finds the time to care for him. He always brings him home and gives him a meal, allowing him to shower and washing his clothes. Cartman doesn't feel guilty in the slightest that Butters does this for him, but at the very least he is grateful.
"Your alcohol level is tipping the scale again Eric, I told you to stop drinking so much and put the allowance I give you into finding a job."
"Oh yeah Butters, try living out in the streets and feel your mind slowly derail as you lose all sense of care in the world. At least alcohol fucking takes that feeling away."
"Wouldn't be out in the streets if you stopped bitchin' about it and got to work."
Silence filled the air, both of them were right in their own way. Neither of them could really counter, it was true after all, Butters would never know how bad the pain to be homeless truly was. As for Cartman, he knew that this was all his doing as much as he blamed it on everyone else.
Butters sighed and pressed play on the movie, Cartman was always allowed to stay to eat, to shower and finally as long as the movie of that night lasted. Butters put all of the equipment away and took Cartman's sweater from the dryer and put it atop the kitchen counter.
"Should I stay tonight?" A question Butters always asked Cartman, sometimes Cartman was in the mood to say yes and other times he'd tell him to fuck off, he'd figure with the little back and fourth they had earlier he'd say no, but just like the rest of this night, Cartman surprised him.
"Yeah"
[Half an hour goes by of the almost 2 hour long movie, nothing is said between them, only looking at the screen with dozens of flashing lights, until Cartman finally speaks.]
"I heard you got invited to Stan's wedding, you plan on going?"
[Butters looks at Cartman confused, he swore he never spoke about that invitation, and it was specifically because of this moment.]
"Yeah, I mean, Stans my friend, can't just not show up."
"Yeah and I used to hang out with him all the time and he never sent me a letter."
"Eric, you live on the streets, even if he wanted to he wouldn't know where to send it." Butters paused for a moment, taking in what Cartman said. He could have said anything, a call, a text, hell an email but a letter? That was what he got, that was specific.
"... Have you been going through my shit while I ain't lookin'?"
"Maybe"
"What the fuck Eric, you know I don't like you doing that shit. That was sent to me for a reason Eric! You don't have a right to look through my shit!"
"Who cares, it was just some faggy invitation to Stans faggy wedding."
"You do!"
[The sound of the TV plays in the background as the two stare intensely at each other. Butters crosses his arms and looks away from Cartman, shifting to the far side of the couch.]
"Only because he decided to ignore ME of all people. He KNOWS I'm still alive and he KNOWS I was his friend for the longest time! I was even in his group for fucks sake!"
"Oh please Eric, you think Stan is just going to allow you to come to his wedding. You did a lot of shitty things and you know that, you never even apologized for half of those things!"
"Don't fucking start Butters, I don't need YOU of all people to tell me that. I know Stan more than you know him, and I know how he is. He's just a piece of shit."
"Don't say that about Stan Eric! You know damn well that he's successful and thriving, better off WITHOUT you Eric! Only thing you are is jealous."
"I'M NOT FUCKING JEALOUS! I'M PISSED THAT I'M BEING IGNORED." Cartman stands up, trying to tower over Butters.
"THEN WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE ERIC?" Butters quickly follows and leans in.
[Cartman takes a step back, sometimes he forgets they aren't kids anymore, he's grown up, and so should he.]
"That doesn't even make sense Butters." Cartman sits back down, annoyed that he's practically a dog with it's tail between it's legs.
"Well if you were fucking 'ignored' as you say you are then what the hell are you doing here. You wouldn't be here if I didn't take you home with me every night, you wouldn't be here if I didn't give a shit about you Eric but I do. I always have and now you're sitting here telling me you're fucking ignored. Maybe, and hear me out on this one Eric, maybe it's because you were a piece of shit to everyone in south park, to the point where nobody wants you."
'Nobody wants you' a thought that echo's through Cartman's mind every waking second, he knows he's useless but he doesn't sit and feel bad about himself everyday. But only when Butters confronts him and shoves it right in his face does he take a moment to realize how much he fucked up. Cartman doesn't know what to say back to Butters, if he could, he'd come up with something cocky enough to make it seem like he was unmoved but his words but Cartman can't hide the fact they cut through him like knives; Just like how he can't hide the fact he's homeless, or an alcoholic, even the fact that he's leeching off of Butters in order for him to live. If it weren't for Butters nobody would take pity upon him to give him even the bare minimum amount of money, he's nothing and he hates being told that, not as an insult, but as a fact.
"Doesn't matter Butters, this is about Stan, I'm talking about Stans loyalty here Butters, not everything is about you."
"That's real hypocritical coming from you Eric."
[BOOM BAM POW]
[The television is still playing, the clock ticks by, any noise to distract Cartman from Butters glare.]
"I care so much about you Eric, I believe every single day that somehow, someway, you're going to get up and realize that you need to do something with yourself. But every day I see you doing the same thing, flipping people off, drinking, sleeping and eating... I love you Eric and-"
"DONT say that word."
"I love you Eric."
"STOP FUCKING SAYING THAT." Cartman bellows, he rises, huffing and puffing, he's always hated that word, that statement.
Butters throws his arms around Cartman and stuffs his face in his neck.
"GET AWAY FROM ME YOU DICK!" Cartman pry's and pry's at Butters' arms but he just won't budge, he's gotten him trapped and all he can do now is just.. give in.
"Eric, I know you have it hard, and I ain't excusing all the other shitty things you did to me OR everyone else. But even if nobody believes you'll ever change, I always will. I will always ALWAYS believe that you can be a better version of yourself Eric. I love you man, you're a shitty guy, but I still love you."
And at that, Cartman began to cry- no, sob. He hated this, every moment of this interaction, all he wanted to do was watch a stupid fucking marvel movie and now he's here crying on Butters. He felt weak, he felt small, he felt everything he hated to feel, but it felt good at the same time. To be in a spot where he could just cry and feel shitty, it felt good, he felt good, and he wouldn't ever feel this way if it weren't for butters.
"I think I love you too Butters."
Butters' grip on Cartman loosens, he quickly looks at Cartman doubting what he heard.
"What?"
"I said I think I love you too asshole." Cartman is beginning to regret ever saying that, of course he doesn't fucking love Butters, but it didn't necessarily feel wrong to say it.
Butters takes a moment to stare at Cartman, he's known him long enough to tell all the signs of when he's lying and he's either changed how he shows he lied or is really drunk; Neither of which are the case since Butters knows Cartman hasn't been able to practice his lying on anyone recently and he knows what his alcohol level is.
"Shit.." Butters lets Cartman go, sitting down, not knowing what to say to him.
"I don't know why you're being weird about it jackass, so what, I love you, doesn't mean shit." Cartman wipes his face of his tears and stuffs his hands in his pants. He's uncomfortable with how this is going and Cartman can't think straight with everything happing all at once.
"You screamed at me for telling you I loved you Eric. Of course it means something- not just to me but to you too."
Neither of them said anything, processing a bad day is one thing but processing a love confession is another. Cartman wasn't in his right mind to be in a relationship and Butters knew that, but then why confess to this? It couldn't have been a platonic I love you it just didn't seem to fit the picture, which leaves a single option, romantic love; How long has Eric loved him this way?
Butters only had one thought to confirm everything, and so he grabbed Cartman's face and pulled him in for a kiss. It was something Cartman was not ready for at all, the fact that he was trying to process his feelings for Butters was hard enough but to be put on the spot and have him kiss him was worse. It made him angry, angry that he wasn't disgusted, angry that he felt himself melt in the warmth of the kiss and angry that he had no power over himself.
The kiss went on for too short, Cartman wanted more, he hadn't ever felt better with anyone else. Butters had let go of Cartman's face and looked away from him, he couldn't bring himself to view whatever expression Cartman had on his face despite that being the point. He hadn't thought it through and especially not how he would feel, to him that kiss was like something buried so deep within him was finally able to rise above, a breath of fresh air.
Moments passed before Cartman spoke up.
"What the hell was that about."
".. Guess I just wanted to know what you meant by that."
"And you're gonna just leave me after that?"
"What?"
[Butters turned to look at Cartman, and he saw him with a defeated look, tired, with his face completely red.]
"You're just gonna throw me on the street after this? I mean did you think this fucking through Butters? What, am I supposed to act like this never happened?"
[Cartman was angry, too angry that he didn't notice his own tears streaming down his face. He was a homeless guy on the streets and the only person who has taken care of him will probably never look in his direction after today. He's done for and there's nothing he can do about, and not just that, but he's now questioning his sexuality and really doesn't want that.]
"Look I'm sorry Eric, but I swear I wasn't just gonna ditch you. Thing is, I feel pretty confused about how I feel about you too. It ain't simple Eric, feelings, emotions, I think you know that better than anyone I know but my point is, I'm sorry. I fucked up, you're right, I wasn't thinkin' and it's awkward now. I'm just.. trying to figure out how I feel about you I spose'."
[Nothing is said between them for a couple of minuets, just the sounds of the TV and the morning birds starting to sing.]
"Fuck.. whatever, if we do this gay little fantasy of yours and both agree it's NOT what we want, will you cut it out and go back to normal."
Butters nodded, and with that, Cartman pulled him in for another kiss, this time both of them were ready.
It felt good, for both of them, it's the thing that made them happiest out of everything, out of work, out of alcohol, out of everything just being able to express their love for the other made them happy, it made them whole. The sensation of letting out all the bottled up love that they never wanted to admit was a feeling that could never be replicated, it wasn't just some heat of the moment type of thing and they both felt that way; They've been longing for this moment for what seemed to be an eternity.
Eventually they had to break away to catch their breaths, but both of them have been confirmed on what they felt for one another. It wasn't a lustful thrill they were seeking nor was it a desperate attempt to feel something, rather, the finale of the pursuit they were both on since the start.
"Shit.. I do fucking love you.."
The words fell out of Cartman's mouth, those were words he would never dream of uttering to anyone. They stared at each other, both left speechless.
"Do you want to stay?"
"What?"
"Eric, do you want to stay at my house yes or no?"
"What the fuck Butters? Have you just become more retarded over the span of a few hours?"
"Eric quit being a little shit and answer me, do you want to make this work and stay with me."
".. Make WHAT work Butters, we aren't ANYTHING and we will NEVER be ANYTHING."
"We clearly fucking feel something for each other Eric and I want to make things work because I love you too."
[The sun shined through the curtains, the sun was rising up now and they still didn't have this figured out. Cartman was sat re-evaluating everything he has ever done to get to this point and Butters regrets ever doing anything.]
"I don't know Butters, I don't know what to think at all. I never even considered if I loved you at some point and now everything is happening all at once and I don't fucking need that Butters. I just want a shower, some food, and money. I'm not ready for a relationship, you and I both know that."
"I want to try though Eric, I mean the way I feel with you is special and I really really want to be able to feel that way everyday."
"Butters I don't want this level of commitment, this is just too much. I myself don't fucking know what I'm doing and I don't want to think about it."
"We don't have to tell anyone Eric, we can just try and see where it goes. If it doesn't work out we move on, I promise."
Cartman looked at Butters, his eyes pleading, he's never seen him so desperate for anything. He want's this too, everything he's dealing with is awful, and the only reason he hasn't killed himself is so that he can be an annoyance to the world around him. But here Butters is, begging for him, wanting him, and he doesn't know if he can take it, but if it makes his life any better, even for a fleeting moment, he'll do it.
"Fine, I want to stay here Butters, I'll find a job and try to see how things work out."
Butters smiled, leaning in to kiss Cartman, and Cartman didn't refuse it.