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Wylan felt nervous for some reason that he couldn't explain to himself. The concept of having a 'date' in Ketterdam, especially with Kaz, was something that he'd never really put much thought towards. Even in these parts, nice restaurants weren't exactly common, and he didn't fancy the idea of going to a betting parlour for a first date. He hadn't set foot in one for over a year. So, beyond Kaz telling him to wear something nice, he had no idea where they were going or what they were doing.
He had half a mind to think that he was going to be taken to somewhere dismal like a graveyard or on a job to somehow aid Kaz in some way, but he knew Kaz wouldn't do that. Julian had claimed to be sick and Wylan had happened to go into work early today, which meant he forced Kaz to 'stay at home and look after him'. It didn't take long for the older man to admit that he'd taken Julian around the Barrel because he had some errands to run, but that he was completely safe at all times, and Julian seemed very pleased with himself. Later admitted to his father that he'd indeed lied about his illness. "Can I ask you a question, Pa?" The dark-haired boy asked, looking up at him for a moment. Wylan waved a hand and nodded. "Do you love Uncle Kaz like you loved dad?"
Whatever it was that he had expected his kid to say, that hadn't been on the list. But he supposed that it was more than natural for him to be curious, Marianne, too. "No." He said honestly, from where he was sitting next to his kid with his legs stretched out in front of him and resting on the bed that Julian was sitting on. "I've already told you that no one could ever replace dad, no matter how much Kaz nor anyone else means to me." Wylan wasn't in the habit of lying to his kids, it was something that they'd cleared with each other after Jesper had died. No lies, and especially not about feelings. It was something Jesper completely believed in.
Julian nodded a little, looking at his dad for a minute, "Okay, then new question. Is he my new dad? I love Uncle Kaz, but he's not dad. They're very different people." He assessed, and for a moment, Wylan smiled proudly. "I want you and Uncle Kaz to be happy, obviously, but I can't help but feel like- Like I don't want dad to be forgotten about. If you did."
"Oh, Jules, I could never- I could never, ever forget your dad. The same way that you couldn't." Wylan assured him, reaching out and touching his hand lightly, "I don't even know if me and Uncle Kaz are going to work out like that, yet. But my point is that- that your dad could never be replaced, not by anyone. You know that you and Marie are the most important things in the world to me, and you always come first. It would be very nice for Kaz and I to work out, and he does make me very happy, but he's not replacing dad, nor am I going to put him over you and Marie, yeah?"
"Yeah. Okay, that's all." Julian nodded a little, and then gave his dad a smile, "But for the record, I do approve of Uncle Kaz. He's cool."
"He is that, certainly." Wylan laughed softly and nodded his head, but he was glad that Julian was taking it as well as he was. That was something to be grateful for, at least. "And, while I have you and before I go, I've told Kaz that next time he can come and bring you to me if you claim to be sick again. The Barrel is a dangerous place full of very dangerous people, and it's not a place for you to hang out, Jules. I'm not mad at you or Kaz because it's not happened before, but I don't expect it to happen again."
For a moment, he looked glum, but then he let out a long sigh as if he knew that it was coming. "Okay," He complained, and leaned back, crossing his arms over his chest, "I won't do it again, then." He promised, nodding his head a little.
Wylan stood up and stretched his arms over his head, nodding, "Okay. Thank you," He said sincerely, and leaned forward to press a light kiss on his forehead. "It's time for me to go now, but we won't be back late, yeah?" He assured, smoothening out the white button-down shirt that he'd put on, and then looked back at him, "Steph is here, so let her know if you need anything, Marie is already in bed, and... yeah. I love you. I'll be back soon. Bye, yeah?"
"Yeah, yeah, I will. Don't worry. Go and have fun," Julian waved him off, and Wylan laughed, backing up to the door before his son's face softened for a moment, and he felt as though he could see the very spitting imagine of Jesper- even if it wasn't like they were biologically related- "You deserve it."
"Thanks, Julian." Wylan reached the door and turned to give him a smile, "I'll see you soon." He promised, and then walked out and closed the door behind him. Kaz had set up near permanent residence in the armchair next to the bookshelves in the living room, or cooking in the kitchen, or plotting upstairs in Wylan's office. Which had basically become Kaz's office- Wylan didn't really care, he didn't keep much in there, or use it often. He left all of his work life exactly there- at work. But he'd enjoyed watching Kaz become a fixture in his house, and he'd enjoyed sharing his life with him.
When he got to the bottom on the stairs, Kaz was walking out from the kitchen, dressed pretty much typically. It was clear that he was planning on going out, because he already had one of his many, many, endless trench coats on. Of course, with the collar up at the back. He was dressed as usual in all back beside that, and glanced up at Wylan, giving him a little nod of acknowledgement. "Are you ready to go?" He asked, and Wylan nodded a little, smiling at him. "Let's get going, then."
"Hey, hey, before that. I know you're about as far away from a serial dater as you can get, so, let me introduce you to some basic date etiquette beforehand." Wylan laughed, and stepped forward, smoothing out Kaz's collar so that it was down again, and looked up at him for a moment, made eye contact, "You look really nice, tonight." He said softly, smiling, "Despite myself, I have been really looking forwards to it, and I will be incredibly upset and never speak to you again if you take me to a fucking graveyard or something, okay? But my main point is that you look really handsome."
If Wylan didn't know better, he'd say that Kaz Brekker was on the edge of blushing. He set his hands against Wylan's hips and tugged him closer, staring at him intently, "I'm very sorry, I didn't tell you how gorgeous you look because you always look this stunning, I didn't see any possibility that you didn't already know." He murmured, letting his arms wrap loosely around his waist, and Wylan leaned forward with a little smile with his arms around his shoulders, "I'll admit this is actually... this is my first proper date."
Shocked, Wylan pulled back slightly, because that concept was foreign to him- he knew that Kaz didn't find comfort in just anyone, but he assumed that even if it was a date with Inej or something, he'd been on a few. "What?" He asked, blinking a little, "Don't take this the wrong way, but have you-"
"Yes. I'm not a virgin." Kaz said bluntly, nodding his head a little, "But not by a long way. I'd be happy to tell you about it, if you wanted, but we do really need to get going." He said, and stepped back, letting go of him. Wylan rolled his eyes a little and sat down on the chair next to the door, pulling on and lacing a pair of shoes, and then stood up, bouncing a little and nodding his head. "Okay, then. And I'm not taking you to a graveyard, don't worry. I wouldn't do that to you, only to someone that I didn't like," He promised, reaching for Wylan's hand and opening the door, stepping out into the streets of Ketterdam and closing the door behind them. "The only reason I didn't tell you is because I know that you like surprises. I can't imagine why, but I know you do. I promise you'll like it."
"I trust you," Wylan hummed slightly, twining their fingers together and watching with some hypnotism about how Kaz's cane still never seemed to make a sound as it hit the floor. It was a mystery that he still had yet to figure out- and was most likely to either due to the material it was made of, or practice of making it the right way. "I have this image of you teaching yourself how to walk with your cane so that it made no noise on the floor. I don't know, it's just stuck in my head."
"Don't tell anyone, you'd ruin my image, but I did." Kaz admitted, thinking for a moment, and then nodding his head. "I mean, I obviously didn't have the crow for a while, but- I had a makeshift one for a while, and I realised that I was never going to walk the same again. But I knew that making noise was such a big way of giving myself away that I did learn how to walk efficiently and quietly with my cane. I did get this one made of special rubber, though, so that it makes less noise as a baseline. It was a protective thing when I was still on the streets, now it's just a habit."
Wylan hummed a little, smiling, "I thought it must have been something like that. Don't worry, I'll try my hardest not to ruin your image, but I think walking down the street holding my hand is doing enough to ruin it, anyway. It's okay, though, cuz you're ruining my merchant image, as well."
Kaz took the time to roll his eyes, but tugged Wylan closer by his hand, "Everyone already knew that you hung out with me." He reasoned, glancing at him for a moment, "The moment you did the Ice Court job, everyone knew that Wylan Van Eck was part of the Dregs. Just because you've divulged to follow in your father's footsteps as your day job doesn't mean that the Dregs don't have your back, nor that you don't have theirs." He paused for a moment, and then gave him a little smile, "The moment you took that tattoo there was no question about it, anymore. You will always be one of us, Wylan." Kaz squeezed his hand lightly, and Wylan blinked at him for a moment.
"You're not wrong, but- I never told you that I got the tattoo. Jesper gave it me, I can't imagine that you've ever seen it-" Wylan had decided to get it at the top of his back, just under his neck, where he felt like he wanted it. Needed it. It was symbolic, more than anything, of his friends- that they'd always have his back, and that he'd always have theirs. It had been painful as fuck, but worth it, completely. And Jesper had done a good job of it.
"Jesper told me when you decided you wanted it." He explained, glancing at him, "But no, I haven't seen it. I don't even know where it is. But my point is that I couldn't ruin your image, because I was always in your image. You've been in mine for so long that I doubt anyone is surprised any longer." They walked in silence for a moment, and then he spoke again, "He didn't tell me where you got it, though. I didn't ask because, well, the action meant more than the placement. Also, I didn't want to risk being scarred forever by the information, so, I never knew."
"It's on my back," He looked around idly as he divulged, "At the top of my spine, bottom on my neck."
There was absolute silence for a minute, and Kaz stared at him in complete disbelief, and Wylan glanced up at him and almost did a double take. "That-" Kaz started, faltered, and looked away again. He then looked back at Wylan and spoke softly, "That means a lot to me, Wylan."
He tried to ignore the way that made his heart beat faster, and the fact that it made him smile a little, but he added softly, "I didn't do it for just you. I did it for everyone. Inej, Nina, Matthias, Jesper, you. I did it for us. I knew that I kind of married into the Dregs after the Ice Court job, so... it was my version of a wedding band, a promise to you all. That we've always got each other, no matter what. That no matter how impossible the odds, there's no one better suited for the job out there than we are, right?" He looked up at Kaz with a little grin, and squeezed his hand. "You're right. I will always have the back of the Dregs. Of you."
"I know. Anyway, we're here." They'd crossed into the Barrel, and for a moment, Wylan found himself confused. They were stood in front of one of the derelict abandoned buildings in the south, that must have been out of use for at least two decades, and the stonework was starting to crumble- nothing in the Barrel was build to last. He'd half thought that they'd been bought and turned into something else by now, but apparently not, and Kaz was tugging him through the half-broken and what appeared to be kicked in wooden door. "I need you to trust me, here. Now, this does have a story, I've not just brought you here to jump and kidnap you, don't worry." He explained, leading him through the building to a set of dubious looking stairs, and taking the effort to climb them. Wylan winced slightly watching him.
"Okay..." He murmured, and climbed up the stairs after him, looking around. He was mostly certain that he wasn't going to die here, but he knew a lot of the time less savoury characters would squat here for whatever reason, and he really didn't feel like running into them on his first date with Kaz. "What's the story, then? I'm intrigued now."
"Patience is a virtue, Wylan." Kaz reminded him, and lead him around a corner and to another flight of stairs. Wylan hesitated before he started climbing, wanting to ask Kaz if he was okay, because stairs had never been something incredibly easy for him, since his leg. "Wylan, you start coming up these stairs now before I drag you up myself. If my leg hurt me too much, then I wouldn't be doing it, hmm?"
After a moment, he conceded, and began walking up the stairs behind Wylan. And then another flight. And then another. After what seemed to be way too many flights of stairs but in reality couldn't have been more than four, they arrived at what he assumed was the level below the roof. The wall facing the sea must have caved in years ago, and whatever kind of development this building must have been in had obviously stopped- there was years old tin paint cans and brushes laying around what was a completely open-plan floor. And set up in the middle of it, a blanket was laid out on the floor, a basket sat in the middle of it, all facing the view of the sea where the sun was setting. "This is too perfect." Wylan whispered, stepping forwards for a moment and grasping his hand again.
"That's an oxymoron." Kaz tugged him forward but let go to lean his cane against the wall and lower himself to sitting cross-legged; Wylan noted the wince that it came with, but decided that he'd get him something to numb the pain once they got back. "I'll tell you, now," He said as Wylan sat down next to him, "This whole place is mine. The Dregs, really, but I was the one who decided to buy it." He spoke softly, looking around, "It makes good places for hiding shit, and it..." He trailed off for a moment, and reached over to grasp his hand again, "Jordie and I lived in this building, when we were kids. I'm not a sentimental man, but there was something about this place being demolished that made me.. well, I didn't want it. So I bought it. I've got plans to renovate, but as for now- I can't bring myself to change it, I guess." He thought for a long moment, shaking his head, "I brought you here because this is a part of my life that I can't ignore. It's very much made me who I am, and I want you to see these bits of me."
Wylan couldn't help shifting closer to him, resting his head on Kaz's shoulders as he looked out the caved-out wall at where the sun was starting to lower in the sky. "I'm really honoured that you'd bring me here." He whispered, titling his head up to look at him for a moment and then looking back down, clearing his throat, and sitting up straight. "What are you planning on doing with this place? What kind of renovation?"
"I don't know yet," Kaz mused, thinking for a moment and turning his head to look at him, "I kind of... I mean, there's not much use in building anything down here. Anything Dregs-related, anyway, I mean, it's just too out of the way. And it would take too much money to get it up to scratch. There's no use building gambling parlours, or anything like that, again, it's too out of the way. I'll think of something that I want to do with it, but until then." He shrugged a little and then gestured to the basket, "There's food in there, if you want it."
"Thank you." Wylan fell silent for a moment, and then looked at him again, "How about you turn it into more housing? For those who aren't able to afford it?" He suggested, leaning forwards and picking up a strawberry form a tub in the wicker basket, and pulled back the leaves to it it. "Kids, maybe. Try and get them off the street and into a place where they can have a safe and consistent roof over their heads."
"That's a nice thought, but impractical. There would be too many issues." Kaz stared at him for a moment, and Wylan lifted his shoulders as if to tell him to elaborate. "Okay. How would I police it? I've been out on those streets before, and I assure you, there's a hierarchy even among the smaller children. They'd be exploited, and the people that need the help the most would end up worse off, still. On top of that, it's not like it would be much safer than the streets. It's the south of the Barrel, if these kids aren't already in gangs like the Dregs, or worse, then... then chances are that they aren't going to live to pay their first month. I know it's morbid. I know. But I can't change it." He shook his head, "Fights would break out, the place would be wrecked. If I made it non-profit then I'd be losing money faster than I could get it anywhere else. Trust me. Then I'd have to be paying for staffing as well, and- and, it's a nice thought, but it's never going to work out."
Biting into another strawberry, Wylan appraised him. Gave a little shrug. "I think that we could do it. I could put my name behind it, help you out- you know some of the Dregs would be happy to help for free. It's close to them, too. More than that, some of them have kids and shit of their own- offer them this as a payment."
"What about preventing fights?" Kaz asked, raising an eyebrow. Wylan passed him a strawberry.
"Enforce strict rules. You're Dirtyhands, right? Be kind, but fair. They break your rules? They're out. If people love this place, anyway, they'll look after it." Wylan proposed, looking at him for a long moment and then shrugging a little. "I think it's possible. And viable. I think that we could do it, but if it's not something that you want, then that's obviously your decision. I'm just saying that it could work out."
"Maybe you're right. I'll think about it."
"I'll have your back with it, if you want me to." Wylan looked at him, and gave him a little smile. Poked his shoulder. "I don't know if you've picked up on this one yet, but I kind of care about you, and I know that you care about this. So I care about the things that you care about, and I can honestly say I think that this would make you really, really happy, Kaz. But I do understand your reproach, but you should try and hold onto the things that make you happy. Even if it's risky." After a moment, he reached out and twined Kaz and his hands together, "We only live once, right? No point spending it doing things that make you miserable."
"Well, I'm not miserable. I'll admit that most of a time I feel the need to be... you know. It's hard to describe, but you know what I'm talking about." Kaz stared at him for a long moment, and then squeezed his hand, "Again, I find it difficult to describe, but you make me feel like it's safe to relax. To be exactly myself, and nothing more."
"That's all I want from you." Wylan assured, and leaned against him again. Stared up at him. "You, exactly the way you are."
Kaz was silent for a moment, but he pulled his hand from Wylan's to instead slide his arm around his waist and keep him close to him. "As a general rule, I see the faults in everyone. It's my job. To know where people are weak, and to then exploit it. I know where you're weak, I know what hurts you, but I don't think they're faults." At that, Wylan looked up at him, but Kaz didn't meet his eyes. Kept looking forward. "Some people are selfish, or cowardly, or abusive. Most people have a big fault in them. But everything that other people might see as a fault in you, I just think-" He stopped for a moment, and shrugged. "I just think they make Wylan, Wylan. And I think Wylan is fucking amazing, and so those things aren't weaknesses. They're strengths."
"Kaz..." Wylan whispered, turning his head to hide his face in his side, smiling slightly. "I think the same of you, you know. You're a lot more sweet and caring than you'd like to think you are, and I know that a lot of people see the bad side of you. Think you're a bad person. But I couldn't think the exact opposite of that more than I do."
Silence fell in the room for a moment, and then he spoke, "I think I'm a bad person. And before you insist that I'm not, let me explain why," He started, "I don't mean it in a self-deprecating way. I'm not trying to put myself down. I think a good person is someone who tries their hardest to do good most of the time, someone who isn't intentionally malicious to others. I think that you're a good person. I can't say that I meet the same conditions. Factually, I don't think I'm a good person."
"I still disagree." Wylan murmured, and looked up at him, "I think you do try to do good most of the time. The things you do aren't just to further yourself, they're to further the Dregs, or the people you care about. It's not an inherently selfish action, and I think that if it were, we might be having a different condition. You're not malicious to others for no reason. And more than anything else, I think that you sometimes you hold yourself to the person that you were. You've grown massively, Kaz, I think that you're a hugely better person than you were, once upon a time."
"Got pretty deep for a first date, huh?" Kaz raised his eyebrows at Wylan, who rolled his eyes back at him, and shifted to kneeling with one of his legs on either side of Kaz's, so that he could wrap his arms around his neck and shrugged.
"To be honest, I don't think that most people's first dates are people they've been friends with for ages that got close once again after one of their husband's died, so, you know. This was never going to to be a 'normal first date', was it?" He shrugged a little, and pushed their foreheads together and closed his eyes. Kaz's hands rested lightly on his hips. "I mean, you're Kaz Brekker, this was never going to be your everyday date, was it?"
"No. No, I suppose not. You're not an everyday man, either, Wylan." When he opened his eyes, he found Kaz staring at him with such complete adoration in his eyes that Wylan felt like he was going to melt. And then, seemingly out of nowhere, "Tell me the thing you miss most about Jesper." A pause. "Don't ask why, just do it."
He thought that maybe it was something Kaz needed to hear, so he leaned back and thought for a moment. Wylan inhaled, really considered what he was going to say, and then exhaled. Let go of that built up of guilt and sadness and grief that built up inside of him whenever he thought about Jesper for too long. "It's not a specific trait or moment that I had with him. It was all of the little things that you get used to when you spend so much time with a person, and it's missing those things. When you expect to hear him walking through the door, or expect to wake up to him, or expect to be able to hug him when you've had a shit day. It's not the grand gestures, as much as I miss them, it's the things that you take for granted that you miss the most." They sat in silence for a moment, and then he asked quietly, "What do you miss most about Jordie?"
"Uhm," Kaz's thumbs dragged back and forth over his hips as his eyes drifted into the distance, and then he cleared his throat, "Uh, I miss the feeling of.. being safe. You know, there's people that you always feel safe with, and he was the only one that I ever had. Even when we were kids, and I was so clueless- I knew that if I was with Jordie, then nothing was going to go wrong. Then he would always look after me."
"I get that." Wylan murmured, and caressed the side of his face lightly. Pushed some of his hair back and out of his eyes, "I hope I can be that for you."
"I figured that went without saying." Kaz whispered, giving him a small, contented smile. "You mean everything to me. You and Jules and Marie." He squeezed his hips lightly, and nodded his head, and then fell silent. He flattened his hands. "I'm just going to clear something with you." A short silence. "I'm not going to kiss you first. I would like to kiss you, very much so, but I understand that we're taking this at your pace, and I'm sure that the last time you did so was with Jesper before he died, so... so, I know that it might be something quite difficult to you. And I don't want to force anything no you too soon."
"Thank you." Wylan whispered, and stared at him for a long moment as he thought and then laughed softly, hanging his head, "I think this is one of the moments where you think that you're a bad person, but this actually proves my point. I promise you that you are- you are so good. You are so good. You ignore it too much, but I see it. Of course I do."
"I am trying. To be a better person. For you. Because you deserve a good person, and Jules and Marie deserve a good adult figure in me, and I want to be that for all of you. For the first time in a long time, I..." Kaz shrugged a little, his mouth open but no words came out. He took a breath, tried again, and, "I'm not afraid to admit that I have the feelings I have for you. Because I know you're not going to try and hurt me. I know that you're not that person."
Wylan shook his head a little, and trailed his fingers over Kaz's jaw, "I'm not. Life is too short too often, and I know that all the time I've spent with you I've really enjoyed, and I hope and kind of know that you can say the same, and that's what counts, right? And, I mean, I can honestly say that I really like you. I'm not in the habit of hurting the people I really like, especially not when it's you. You've proved to me over and over that you care about me, and who I care about, and I know that you'd always do best by me and them, and that's all that matters. It's one of the many reasons I'm very excited to see where this, us, goes."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah." Wylan confirmed, nodding his head, and Kaz leaned forward to him and brushed their noses together, a small smile on his face. "We should probably get back."
"Yeah, we should. We shouldn't leave Marie and Jules for too long." Kaz agreed, let out a breath, and leaned back again. "He doesn't admit it to you, but Jules gets a lot more worried about you than he would like to admit. He worries about you, properly. He told me, today, that-" He smiled a little, shaking his head, "He said that he saw how Jesper looked after you while he was alive, and he felt like now Jesper was gone, he had to look after you. That he wanted to be someone you could rely on. There is so much Jesper in him that it's insane." Kaz closed his eyes a little, and shook his head, "Sometimes I feel like the words coming out of his mouth are the exact same thing that Jesper would say in the situation. It's uncanny, but- nice. It's nice to have that bit of him."
"It is." Wylan agreed, and took a moment to stare at Kaz, appreciate him while he was like this. Completely relaxed. At peace. Here, with Wylan. "It is. He's got a lot of Jesper in him, I always thought that. I think that Marianne has more of me in her, for sure."
"I think they both have a lot of you in them." Kaz shook his head in disagreement, and stared at him, "It's obvious when you talk to them. Their kindness, their patience, their genorosity. There is so much of you in them that it's unreal. Marie is more willing to show her emotion, I agree, and wears her heart on her sleeve the same way that you do, but Julian has a lot of you in him. All the best bits of him are you, I'll promise you that. You're an amazing dad. Utterly amazing."
"Thank you." Wylan watched him, and then smiled a little and nodded, "Thank you." After that, he twisted off Kaz and stood up, dusting himself off, and walked over to get Kaz's cane for him, and passed it back to him as he stood. "Okay. Shall we do this? What are we going to do about the stuff here?"
"It's fine, I'll send someone time deal with it tomorrow. Don't worry about it." He assured, thanked Wylan for his cane, and then started to walk toward the stairs. Wylan let Kaz go first, because he didn't want to go first and then go too fast with Kaz's bad leg, so at least now he was setting the pace. He knew that more often than not, Kaz could feel like his leg slowed him down and felt determined to prove that it didn't, but Wylan knew better than anyone that sometimes that meant he could push himself too far and then do himself some serious damage. Which Wylan would never want.
"So, good first date?" Wylan asked as they walked, trailing his hand down the railing that was only half-there, anyway. "I'm honoured to be it, regardless."
"Mmm, so far. Still adequate time for you to ruin it, though, so not getting too excited yet," Kaz responded, laughing in that way that reminded Wylan he was only joking. "No, of course it was great. It was with you. I never expected anything different, every moment I spend with you is a moment to remember."
"I think you should move in full time." Wylan murmured softly, and looked at the ground for a moment, "I know that you pretty much do already, but I mean officially. I want you there, if you want to be there. And I mean, Marie and Julian adore you- especially Jules, you know how obsessed with you he is. You're pretty much his idol, and even if in some ways that is hugely concerning, it lets me know that you're doing something right. And that's what counts."
There was a long silence from Kaz that made Wylan anxious that it was either too soon, or that he was apprehensive about officially giving up his own space- or, even worse, that he was moving into a space that was pretty much a symbol of Jesper and Wylan's relationship- "Yes. Yeah. I mean, I'll keep my room in the Slat, because I don't want to give it up to anyone if I'm honest, but I'll move the rest of my stuff into your house. If I'm even more honest, then most of it is already there, anyway. There's not very much to move." He glanced back for a moment as they reached the bottom of the stairs. Wylan stepped down the last few and stood in front of him.
"One more thing, as well. If you're gonna move in for real." Wylan whispered, and slid his arms around Kaz's neck, staring into his eyes. He tilted his head slightly, as if to tell him to continue, and Wylan gave a little smile, and shook his head slightly. "I don't think there is any reason for you to sleep in the spare room anymore. I don't know if you've noticed, but, my bed is big enough for two. And I'd like to share it with you."
Shock flashed across his face for a moment, but he still wrapped his arms around Wylan, pulled him closer. "I'd be okay with that. If it was something you were sure you wanted."
"It is." Wylan nodded his head, because it was something that he'd definitely thought about. Maybe more than he wanted to admit- how much he enjoyed being close to Kaz, it was undeniable. He stared at him for a long moment and then whispered, "There's something else that I want."
"Anything. I'll give it to you." Kaz replied without a beat, tilting his head in some more curiosity, a small smile quirking up his lips.
"I want you to kiss me." Wylan whispered, and leaned closer, staring at him, "Committing to you wasn't scary. It isn't. I know that you have my best interests at heart, and I'll be damned if I don't try my hardest to make you happy, too. So this isn't a tough decision. I know what I want, and I want you." He swallowed a little, still feeling consumed by the way that Kaz looked at him, "And I know that I want to kiss you, too, more than- pretty much anything else."
"I want to kiss you." Kaz murmured, his hands moving to frame Wylan's face gently, brining him closer and resting there foreheads together. They both closed their eyes, and Wylan cherished the moment, the sheer peace between them, and Kaz let out a long breath. Then they were kissing, and Wylan felt as though he could melt into Kaz, and never move from his arms ever again, and he would be perfectly content in doing so. It was gentle, caring, and Kaz slid his nose lightly against Wylan's, trailed his hands over his chest until he wrapped them around his waist and pulled him flush against his chest, nudging his lips open gently. Somewhere in his mind, Wylan had figured that Kaz would have become a perfectionist in the art of kissing as he did with everything else, and he was not wrong.
There was something about this that knocked the breath out of Wylan's chest, that had his hands wrapping loosely around his neck and played with the hair on the back of his head lightly. It was almost hypnotising, everything about Kaz, the way that he felt so perfect with Wylan. Something bloomed strong in Wylan's chest and spread until there was faint tingling in his fingertips, and when he pulled back from the taller man, he whispered slowly, "I think I'm falling for you, Kaz Brekker."
"That's good." Kaz whispered, grinning slightly.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
"Why?" Wylan asked, tilting his head.
"Because I'm falling for you, too." Wylan was grinning from ear-to-ear, and he leaned forward to kiss Kaz again, because now he had once he was pretty certain that he never wanted to stop kissing Kaz, never wanted to stop feeling this way. "And you wanna know another secret?" Kaz whispered against his lips, and Wylan nodded. "I think I have been for a really long time."