Chapter Text
The four bois and their gay/not-gay partners
kaeya (english + political science) – diluc (business + finance)
kaveh (architecture) – alhaitham (linguistics + latin)
Xiao (history) – zhongli (history)
itto (hotel management)– sara (business + political science)
Itto is having the usual existential crisis.
Listening to the almost inaudible sounds in their flat, Itto pulls his gym bag around and takes out his phone.
ITTOOO: helphelp
Kujou Sara: ?
ITTOOO: 1 of my roommates is having sex
ITTOOO: can i go to ur place?
Kujou Sara: .
Kujou Sara: i’m at the library, meet me there.
ITTOOO: xddd
Kujou Sara: actually before that
Kujou Sara: miko is asking
ITTOOO: :(((((
ITTOOO: fine
Itto sighs and stuffs the phone back in his pocket. He leans against the wall and stays silent, his face contorted in a permanent phase of “why am I doing this again.” That damned fox needs to stay away from his Sara, defiling her like that!
(He is, of course, a pure boy, as he tells others.)
As expected, within a few minutes, gold hits him.
“K-Kaveh, you…asshole-!”
With a sigh of relief, he walk-sprints back to the stairs as silently as possible.
ITTOOO: kaveh and alhiham
Kujou Sara: it’s Alhaitham
Kujou Sara: miko says thanks
Itto sighs again.
Being the only straight is hard, man.
ITTOOO: STOP BRINGING YOUR HAM GUY HERE
ITTOOO: DISGUSTING
ITTOOO: DEFILING OUR SACRED PLACE
kaveh (genius): wot
kaveh (genius): you bitch
kaveh (genius): do you have some spying kink or some shit
kaveh (genius): and stfu it’s ALHAITHAM
kaveh (genius): do you know how long i prepared for this
ITTOOO: STFU I DONT WANT TO KNOW
ITTOOO: HURRY UP AND GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE YOUR TUTOR IS HERE
kaveh (genius): WHAT
Kaeya whistles as he shifts through his closet, no doubt in a good mood after last night’s events.
“Fu-”
Apparently, not his waist.
Holding his precious waist (sadly, blemished by the brute), Kaeya slowly puts each piece of clothing on. For the cherry, Kaeya digs out a bright blue jacket. It clashes terribly with the rest of his clothes. But, for no apparent reason, he feels to irritate Kaveh. He slips it on.
He tsks when he sees an evident hickey on his neck and slips on a black chocker. Like he said, brute.
“Morning.” Kaeya greets Kaveh and Xiao, both who are currently speed-drinking coffee with the gusto of Itto.
Xiao mutters a “morning” in between his gulps, while Kaveh looks at his outfit with a wince.
“The blue jacket is hideous. Change it.”
Kaeya grins, “No.”
Kaveh narrows his eyes and looks about to go full-on, but the temptation of coffee overcomes him.
Kaveh mutters, “Fucking bottom.” He stares pointedly at the chocker before turning back to down his coffee.
“I dare you to say that to your Alhaitham.”
Xiao snorts.
Kaveh’s eyes slant to Xiao, “Simp.”
“You-!”
Somewhere in the university, a helpless Diluc is being captured by a certain Cinema and Media Studies student.
“No, Miko, I would not like to share my sex life with you.”
Yae Miko pouts. Ei looks quite uncomfortable.
An Itto and Sara walks by, Itto looking quite pained at having to hear about one of his roommates’ sex shit involuntarily again.
“Why do I have to be with three gays?”
Sara pats him, “At least you don’t have both of them in one flat.”
Itto sobs dramatically into Sara’s shoulder, “My life! It’s going dark!”
“Shut up. You’re going to be late.”
✯kaeya✯: dilucccccccccccc
Diluc R: What
✯kaeya✯: what do you want to each for lunch
Diluc R: It’s 8 AM what are you talking about
✯kaeya✯: i am hungryy
✯kaeya✯: also i am bored this professor is now talking shit about something
✯kaeya✯: aoawhwjha;iuqobtjshlgofdutyawrbfabsdjlhfuw
Diluc R: ah
Diluc R: listen to class kaeya
✯kaeya✯: qaq
Diluc R: we can go to liluli after you’re done
✯kaeya✯: ok fine love you
Diluc R: love you too
“Sweet! I haven’t been here for ages!” Itto beams at Sara, whose mouth twitches minutely which he easily identifies as stifled smugness. Lavish traditional Chinese-style tables and furniture decorates Liuli Pavilion (a branch of the actual one in Liyue), and large calligraphy paintings drape on walls, bringing the scenery from Liyue into Teyvat university. The background music of the guzheng piece floats in the air, the notes light and delicate. Itto never really liked peaceful music, but the exotic genre is pleasant to hear.
Sara gestures at a waitress for a menu. She keeps the menu away from Itto – a habit after their famous incident of “we can finish the food!”
“Though…” Itto’s mouth flattens, as though seeing something unpleasant, “Why do they have to come, of all times?”
Kaeya practically shoves a spoon into a grimacing Diluc. And of course, Kaeya spots Itto and waves cheerfully with a smile that just shot up to an unnatural level of sweetness.
Itto gives a middle finger in return and turns his head away, and of course he would see their “dorm’s shortest” sitting with the infamous Zhongli. They look hilarious – Xiao’s crush is painfully obvious and Zhongli acts like a statue if it weren’t for that sheer presence of “HEY EVERYONE LISTEN TO ME I LOVE THIS MAN” around him.
And when Xiao actually gives his Almond tofu to the man in front of him, Itto sighs and looks at the ceiling.
Gays and simps, everyone around me.
He looks back at Sara, who is currently observing an image of a dish with an amount of chili that makes his butt clench.
Obviously, Kujou Sara is the prettiest person in Teyvat.