Work Text:
Mushroom Castle stood beautifully amidst the hills and the water, red roof tiles shining in the sun when Sportacus and Taylor Swift walked together towards the bridge. There was no water where the moat would normally be — instead the stone floor lay bare in the sun while Luigi and Mario were running circles around. It didn’t look like they knew what they were doing.
Luigi and Mario didn’t look up, and when it seemed like they were about to, Taylor ducked to hide. Sportacus did a backwards flip to accomplish the same goal while showing off his athleticism. Taylor looked at him admiringly, she had never seen a man with the combination of strength and souplesse as him.
Sportacus took a few steps on his hands and winked at Taylor before he jumped back onto his feet, after which they hurriedly made their way into the castle. Luigi and Mario were none the wiser.
Inside was a large and beautiful room with many carpets, staircases, and moving paintings, but no Wario. There were a few doors on either side of the room, some on top of the stairs, and one set of double doors that was still locked. “Do you know where he is?” Sportacus asked, doing a handstand against one of the walls.
Taylor shook her head. “I have no idea. It’s not fair that he’s not around.”
Just then, they heard a loud booming voice that only they could hear because Taylor Swift and Sportacus had a direct connection to God. “You should try the royal bedroom,” God advised them, and Taylor looked up confused. God sighed. “Right stairs, straight down the hallway, through the portrait of Princess Peach.”
Sportacus did a salto up the stairs, Taylor looked impressed.
Taylor, now holding a guitar, began playing the song Love Story and Sportacus hummed along until she shushed him because he’s a terrible singer. Some people should just stick to being hot and athletic. She sang loudly and a little dramatically as they walked up the stairs. She tried to ignore Sportacus’ really great acrobatic skills, but it was hard to because he looked so good doing it.
There were three different portraits of Princess Peach, which was really confusing for Sportacus and Taylor Swift. Behind one of these portraits was the royal bedroom where God had promised them they could find their lover Wario. Sportacus did a backflip so he could think better and then asked Taylor which portrait she thought they should take.
“I don’t know what I want, so don’t ask me. Cause I’m still trying to figure this out,” Taylor sang to him, still playing guitar. Two of the portraits were official royal state portraits, and one of them was of Princess Peach laying in bed in a thin negligee and a rose in her mouth. “Dear God, help me.”
God didn’t say anything because he was too disappointed in the people chosen to have a special connection with him. They made up for it by letting him be a voyeur whenever he wanted, but it was still very troubling to see how little they could manage by themselves.
Eventually, Sportacus did another backflip and suddenly threw his arm into the air. “I figured it out!” he exclaimed. He then proceeded to jump into the portrait with the rose in Peach’s mouth while doing a karate pose.
Taylor entered through the portrait by walking through, waving around with a big smile on her face to an audience only she could apparently see. She looked very surprised to see Wario there, even though she’d known he’d be here.
Wario was laying on the royal bed in the same suggestive pose as Princess Peach’s portrait, with a yellow daisy in his mouth. He was only wearing a bright yellow jockstrap. He looked bored when they came in, which God loudly informed them was because they were late.
Taylor Swift sighed, disappointed in herself. Her connection with God had allowed her to make some of the greatest music of all time — songs like Shake It Off and Thug Story that changed the world for the better and probably solved world hunger or something — but sometimes it was hard to be constantly criticised by a force much more powerful than yourself.
“We’re here now!” Sportacus had already taken his clothes off and was now doing pushups on the bedroom floor to prepare.
“It’s me, hi,” Taylor said, then wondered where Princess Peach was since this was her bedroom. God asked the question for her, but Wario ignored it. She was probably off doing her cuckolding thing with Mario and Bowser, but even though Bowser was really hot for a spiked turtle, Taylor Swift had no reason to be jealous. She had Wario, Sportacus, and God himself as her witness.
Sportacus had taken his clothes off so quickly that he’d broken a new world record. Taylor was already wearing her leather dominatrix outfit from the Look What You Made Me Do music video so she didn’t need to change.
Wario told them how much seeing Sportacus’ moustache was turning him on and said that he wanted someone to suck his dick. “Well I’m not a bad girl, but I’ll do bad things for you,” Taylor told him in a half-singing voice.
While Sportacus was erotically doing jumping jacks on the side, Taylor Swift went to sit on her knees in front of the bed. She took Wario’s jockstrap off with her teeth, looking up at his gorgeous face that was almost entirely teeth and nose. Other than Sportacus’ abs, she’d never seen something more beautiful.
Taylor licked the head of Wario’s cock in a move inspired by the way her cat Meredith licked her butt. Wario moaned, biting down on the daisy very hard. Being this close to Wario made her emotional enough that it inspired a new song, so before he had come she got up off the floor and took Princess Peach’ diary to write down brand-new lyrics.
While she was creating the lead single for her new album, Wario was jerking off watching Sportacus do a backflip.
Sportacus and Wario lay down on the bed, making out while Taylor took her guitar again. Wario lay down on his stomach just when Taylor began singing her song Marjorie to set the mood.
They’d forgotten to bring their own lube even though they knew that Wario was always running out of it, but thankfully God knew them well enough to have predicted that. As soon as Sportacus wanted to enter Wario, his dick was all lubed up. Creatively, Sportacus fucked Wario in his ass by means of doing pushups right above him.
Wario yelled in his beautifully deep Italian voice which overshadowed Taylor’s singing, so she put her guitar away again. God sighed. He liked her singing.
Sportacus was still doing push-ups while Wario was moaning very loudly, so Taylor put in earplugs and sat cross-legged on Sportacus’ back for an extra challenge. Because she was so turned on by the sounds Wario was making, Taylor Swift started fingering herself to the beat of her hit song … Ready For It.
“Scratches down your back now,” Taylor sang when her long nails accidentally scratched Sportacus’ back because she was fingering herself too enthusiastically. She didn’t hurt herself with her nails because God liked her very much and protected her from that.
Forgetting the previous song, Taylor started to match the rhythm of Sportacus’ push ups because it was much hotter. “Coming undone is a roller coaster kind of rush” she sang while she came, staying perfectly in tune through her orgasm.
When Wario came he moaned “YOSHI” very loudly. Sportacus and Taylor Swift were a little hurt but not surprised — it’s hard to get over your very first crush. Sportacus stopped doing pushups and immediately jumped off the bed in a backwards salto that Taylor applauded for.
The three of them then lay down on the large bed in a cute cuddle pile, feeling so much closer and comfortable with each other than when they’d first entered the hidden royal bedroom.
God looked down on them with great pride, tearing up at the beautiful display of emotion he was blessed enough to witness today.
It was a good day in Mushroom Castle.