Chapter Text
one night, a few moons ago,
i saw flecks of what could've been lights
but it might just have been you.
⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆
Hyunjin remembered what he was thinking when he first saw Felix. It was a multitude of thoughts, but one was prominent: Felix shone. From his blond hair that looked practically glowing when the sunlight hit it just right to the beaming smile he could somehow always shoot towards everyone around him, regardless of whether they were close to him or not, Felix radiated warmth.
Sometimes, it felt like Felix was warmer than the sun.
And, if Hyunjin were to be completely honest, he admitted that he was slightly jealous of those that got to have Felix’s presence around them at all times.
But some people (specifically, Minho and Jisung, or as Hyunjin liked to call them, the couple from hell) insisted that the pure admiration Hyunjin had was a crush.
A crush.
Can you believe them?
They were insane if they assumed admiration to be attraction (and even if Hyunjin did consider Felix attractive, it shouldn't matter because he did not have a crush on him!)
A sigh.
Why was Hyunjin thinking about this now, again? Ah, right. Because he was forced into a blind date, the said date being none other than Felix.
Picking out a few choice words to use towards the couple from hell, Hyunjin tried to maintain his composure as he hoped to all the gods that Felix would turn a one-eighty degrees and walk away even though he was steadily heading towards table number 3, the one Hyunjin was sitting on, right now.
"Hi," Felix said, smiling as he pulled the chair opposite to Hyunjin’s so he could sit down. "I'm assuming you're my blind date?"
Hyunjin attempted to reciprocate Felix’s beam with a much more strained smile as he nodded. "I think so too."
"Hyunjin, right?" Felix said, more of a statement than a question. "Wow. What a small world it is."
It wasn't a small world. That was bullshit. It was simply Jisung and Minho's scheme to get Hyunjin and Felix "together" or whatever.
Hyunjin and Felix were friends, in a roundabout way. You see, Hyunjin and Minho were friends, Minho's boyfriend – Han Jisung, aka Hyunjin's other annoying friend and roommate – was friends with Felix. And, Felix was in the same dance class as Hyunjin and Minho.
So it really wasn't a surprise that Felix remembered his name (it was a bare minimum) but Hyunjin hadn't heard it as often as he heard Jisung-ah!
Was it really so bad if he just wanted to be close enough with Felix so he could get called Hyunjin-ah just as cheerfully?
"So, did you order something?" Felix asked.
"Um, no," Hyunjin replied. "I was just curious to see who my blind date was."
"Ah, well did I satisfy your requirements?" Felix said, flipping through the menu with an amused look on his face.
"More than I expected," Hyunjin muttered under his breath.
"What?"
"Nothing!" Hyunjin exclaimed, feeling blood rush to his cheeks. "Uh, what do you want?"
"Anything's fine with me," Felix replied.
Hyunjin ordered a cup of coffee, raising an eyebrow at Felix when he ordered a soft drink.
"The sugar's never right in coffees for me," Felix replied sheepishly. "It's too much or worse, it's too little," he said, shuddering like the very thought was too much for him.
Hyunjin laughed, trying to ignore the voice that said cute somewhere inside him. "Well, I'm gonna be honest…this is kind of awkward."
"I was planning on not voicing it out loud," Felix admitted, with a nervous giggle. "What do you usually do on blind dates then?"
"This is my first one," Hyunjin replied. "And I was…well, practically forced into it."
He should've known in hindsight. Jisung's mischievous smirk when he proposed the idea, and Minho being too eager to convince Hyunjin into it. He should've known it would be Felix.
"What about you?" Hyunjin asked.
"Eh, I've gone to a few before this," Felix said, shrugging. "My friends keep trying to hook me up with people and I don't understand why." He paused before adding, "I think they're psychopaths."
Hyunjin snorted at the sudden remark, almost spilling his coffee. "Jisung definitely is one," he said, sipping the hot drink.
"I know right!" Felix exclaimed, putting down his can of Sprite to point at Hyunjin. "Some days, he's definitely unhinged. I personally think Minho adds to it."
"They're a match made in hell."
Felix laughed at that. Hyunjin noted his laugh was simultaneously deep and high, yet somehow the sound was comforting.
Hyunjin found himself imagining how it would feel to come home to that laugh and its owner every day.
…he can't quite remember why he decided to go down that path, or find a plausible explanation for it, so now he's just going to pretend he never thought that. Okay? Great!
"...actually really funny," came Felix's voice, when Hyunjin realized he had zoned out while most probably staring at the man sitting opposite to him like a creep.
"I'm sorry, what?" Hyunjin asked, blinking.
Felix laughed again – he definitely did seem like the type to be cheerful all the time – and rested his hand on the table before continuing. "I said that you're actually, like, really funny. I'm surprised as to how we haven't become like friends friends yet, even though we've got so many common friends, you know what I mean?"
Hyunjin was kind of flabbergasted at that. The Felix wanted to be friends? With plain, old Hyunjin? "Honestly, I feel kinda dumb saying this but…" Hyunjin began, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. "I just assumed you didn't want to be friends."
"What?" Felix's brown eyes went wide at that, as if he couldn't believe what he heard. "What-what made you think that?"
What did make him think that? Did Hyunjin just assume yet another person's feelings without ever properly knowing them? He tended to do that a lot.
"I don't know," Hyunjin said, circling the rim of his cup. "You seemed so friendly around everyone else and…I guess I just thought you were thrown off by me or something."
"Oh no, no way!" Felix exclaimed, waving his hands in a flurry like he desperately wanted to convince the other man that wasn't the case. Hyunjin almost found it adorable.
Keyword: almost .
(Hyunjin also had a strange inclination towards lying to himself for quite literally no reason.)
"I'm gonna be honest with you here," Felix said. "I've always been intimidated by you."
Hyunjin was the one who couldn't believe what he was hearing now. "W-what?" he sputtered. " Me?! Why?"
"I don't know either!" Felix said, almost like he was defending himself. "You just always looked so amazing while you danced, and then you always had this stoic expression on your face like-" Felix paused before looking up at the ceiling. " I'm Hyunjin, and I'm so cool ," he said, making his voice go an octave higher.
Hyunjin burst out laughing. "Do you think my voice is like that?" he asked, clasping a hand over his mouth dramatically. "Oh my god, do I sound like that?"
Felix looked back at him, eyes sparkling and that signature smile playing on his face. "It's just what I've always thought! So I was obviously intimidated by you, you know?" He rambled, moving his hands animatedly like he was saying, can you believe that? "Not to mention your singing, and how good you sound," he sighed.
"You've heard me sing?" Hyunjin asked, gaping as his voice went slightly high pitched. Then the realization dawned on him. "Oh god, you nailed that impression of me."
"No, your voice is really good though!" Felix insisted.
"Have you heard your voice?" Hyunjin asked in turn. "You can go so low, like holy shit, I'm jealous."
"Really?" Felix mumbled, a slight pink dusting his cheeks like that was the first time he heard someone compliment his voice.
"Yeah, like…" he trailed off, staring down at his cup of coffee, probably showcasing his double chin as he tried to get his voice to go deeper. "Look, I can't even do it, I'll probably sound constipated."
Felix smiled at him. "That's so sweet but-" he was interrupted with a phone call. He looked at the caller ID then at the time. "Shit! It's 8pm already?"
Hyunjin unlocked his phone to look at the clock. He had gotten here at 6pm. "I didn't even realize," he said. "Time really flew, huh?"
"This was fun though!" Felix beamed at him. "We should do this again someday."
Hyunjin’s brain had already been muddled from seeing Felix nearly two hours ago, and by now it was working a bit slowly so it took time for Felix's words to sink in.
Do this again as in…have another date? His heart skipped a beat at the thought.
"I meant we should hang out someday!" Felix clarified, the tips of his ears turning red. "Um, I have to go now though. Sorry but my roommate, Seungmin, will bury me alive if I don't come back in time to help him with dinner."
Hyunjin nodded. "I understand. I've gotta go home to send Minho back to his apartment too."
"See you…tomorrow?" Felix asked, and for a moment he almost sounded hopeful.
"Yeah…see you tomorrow."
⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆
"Well, well, well," Jisung's voice echoed the moment Hyunjin swung open the door to walk into the apartment he shared with his friend. "Look who's back."
"You!" Hyunjin exclaimed, pointing at Jisung, his gaze practically lethal. "Are you insane?"
Jisung had the nerve to look offended. "Really? That's what I get after I take matters into my own hands and help you out with your little crush on Felix?"
"There is no crush!" Hyunjin insisted, though he isn't sure if at this point he's telling the words to Jisung or just himself, because his friend somehow looks very satisfied while Hyunjin feels like his cheeks are burning up.
"Denial is the first step to acceptance.”
“Isn’t that from the five stages of grief?” Hyunjin asked.
“For you, it’s love,” Jisung replied in a sing-song voice. He patted the empty space beside him on the couch. "Come on, sit down and tell me everything," he added, a dangerous gleam in his eyes.
Hyunjin shuffled over to the couch then slumped down, burying his face in his hands as he recalled his blind date (if he could even call it that).
"He was actually really sweet," Hyunjin began. "Like really sweet. He complimented my voice, he said he'd heard me sing, and I don't know just…"
“Just?” Jisung prompted. Hyunjin thought of him being a therapist, and he wasn’t sure if he should be terrified or intrigued at the idea of Jisung providing him with therapy.
“Just…” Hyunjin groaned. "I didn't expect him to be like that, you know, like that happy with everyone…even with me." He smiled, thinking of Felix. "He's different."
"Oh my god," Jisung muttered like he had just discovered gravity after an apple fell on his head.
"What?" Hyunjin asked, raising an eyebrow.
"You're down bad."
⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆
The next morning, Hyunjin wakes up to four new messages from an unknown number.
unknown: hi! it’s felix here, from yesterday
[ 7:12 AM ]
unknown: i got ur number from jisung btw
[ 7:12 AM ]
unknown: if you’re fine with it, can we meet today? before classes?
[ 7:13 AM ]
unknown: sorry if i’m bothering you :’)
[ 7:16 AM ]
Hyunjin smiled upon seeing the texts and saved the other’s number before texting him back. He was slightly worried when he wondered as to why Felix wanted to see him.
hyunjin: hey! it’s fine, dw, you aren’t bothering me
[ 7:43 AM ]
hyunjin: where do you want me to meet you?
[ 7:43 AM ]
hyunjin: also, why?
He backspaced on that last one. He didn’t want to come off as rude and scare Felix away, with him already having been intimidated by Hyunjin. So he settled on what he hoped was a more subtle way of asking Felix why he wanted to see him.
hyunjin: is everything ok?
[ 7:45 AM ]
felix: everything's fine!
[ 7:50 AM ]
felix: i'll tell u everything when we meet up!!! i promise <3
[ 7:50 AM ]
With that promise, Hyunjin got out of bed, lazily running through his morning routine (if you could even call it as a routine when all he does is taking a shower that's done within minutes–just so he could splash his face with cold water and not fall asleep–then stuffing his mouth with three slices of bread.)
Today, though, he did take an extra two minutes to observe himself in the mirror. Should I put some makeup on? Felix is gonna see me today, at the start of the day too… Hyunjin thought, then blinked. Then narrowed his eyes at his reflection.
What was he thinking? The day he puts in effort to look more presentable than what was needed is the day he's been replaced by a doppelganger.
He rushed to his campus with a bit more than usual, which was with a few minutes to spare before his first class started.
hyunjin: hey
[ 8:04 AM ]
hyunjin: i'm at the campus
[ 8:04 AM ]
He was in the process of typing where should I meet you? when a tap on his shoulder nearly made him jump out of his skin.
"Who-?" He turned around to see Felix, then momentarily erased his mind of the curse words he would've let out had it been Changbin or Jisung. "Oh. It's you."
"You seem kind of disappointed to see me," Felix pouted.
"What? No, no! That's not the case at all!" Hyunjin exclaimed, waving his hands dramatically like they'd explain what his words couldn't.
Felix laughed. "Calm down, Hyune," he said. "I was joking."
Hyune? That's new.
Hyunjin couldn't tell if this was the pure confidence and friendliness of an extrovert for he had never really been around someone like Felix: Jisung was an introvert like him, but somehow was the life of every party, Changbin mostly just yelled really loud, Minho either joined him with death threats or resorted to an even worse tactic: flirting.
"Oh gosh, I don't even know where the nickname came from," Felix said, looking like he was going to start apologizing profusely for the name.
"It's cute, though, isn't it?" Hyunjin asked, hoping to ease the slightly awkward atmosphere.
"Yeah. It is." Felix muttered, as he angled his face in a better way so as to see Hyunjin properly, because they definitely had at least 3 inches of a height difference.
Hyunjin tried to think of why he was here, what he was doing again but for some reason, he couldn't focus on anything when Felix's eyes were gazing at him.
"So, um, why did you call me here?" Hyunjin asked, tucking a strand of his black hair behind his ear nonchalantly, like everything Felix had done till right now hadn't affected him in any way, shape or form.
"Oh! Right, see here's the thing…" Felix said, letting out a nervous chuckle. "Um."
Hyunjin looked at him expectantly.
Felix closed his eyes, clenching his fists and taking in a deep breath like he was going to give himself a pep talk. "Okay, you're probably gonna think I'm weird after this so letmejustgetthisoutquickly," he said, practically rapping.
Hyunjin was even more intrigued now, if that was even possible. What could Felix even want from him?
"Do you…" Felix began, then sighed before opening his eyes to meet Hyunjin again. "Can you date me?"
Whatever Hyunjin had expected, it had definitely not been that.
"What?"