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Min Yoongi and Jeon Jungkook weren’t friends, not really, they just had friends in common. Were in the same friend group. Friends of friends. Maybe a bit closer than friends of friends, but—they weren’t close .
But one thing was clear and known by everyone; Jungkook had a crush on Yoongi.
And that was fine , Yoongi didn’t have a problem with it. He’d hung out with people who liked him before who were much worse than Jungkook. The kid flirted with him in a cute, sometimes clumsy way, it wasn’t particularly suffocating or uncomfortable like it got with some people, and he didn’t push , but—he was exactly that. A kid. He was twenty-two, in college and working a part time job at the college gym, and way too cheerful and energetic and athletic to have anything in common.
Yoongi wasn’t interested in him in that way, but that didn’t mean he didn’t sometimes find him cute . Sometimes he was—he was more than cute, and Kim Seokjin seemed adamant that Yoongi secretly had a thing for Jungkook, but he didn’t. He really didn’t.
It was just nice knowing that when they went out for a picnic by the Han River after dark, there would be someone in the friend group who would offer him a jacket when he got cold. Or that he would always let Yoongi choose the music whenever it was Jungkook driving. Maybe it sounded like he took advantage of Jungkook’s naivete a little but he listened when the boy wanted to talk about his classes or basketball, and he always looked through his photographs when the camera or laptop was thrust in front of him, so he called it even. Jungkook had a crush, and Yoongi thought it was adorable but nothing was going to happen because he was young and immature and really not ready for anything that Yoongi wanted.
Yoongi saw him flirting with a lot of people—when they were all together clubbing, on the occasions that Yoongi went, whenever they ran into someone he knew when they went out for food or at the theatre. The way that Jungkook talked about people; it wasn’t disrespectful , but it was playful, as though he wasn’t taking any of them seriously. Every now and then he would see Jungkook with a hickey or hear Kim Taehyung and Park Jimin teasing him about someone, but it never seemed like the same person twice, although it wasn’t as though Yoongi was listening too closely.
And that was where they differed.
Because Yoongi wasn’t looking for some fun or anything temporary . He had already done that, over and over again. He’d had some shitty relationships, he’d had a couple that were okay, but about two years ago he decided that he really didn’t want to put himself through that again. His anxiety had only gotten worse as he got older, and it was fine , it was manageable , but he wasn’t looking to bend over backwards anymore, and make himself fit into a space that wasn’t right.
So he wasn’t looking at being the older guy that a college kid had a fun fling with.
“Hyung, hyung!” Jungkook’s voice was cheerful and bright, making Yoongi blink slowly from behind his sunglasses. He knew his face was already a little red from the sun, despite the sunscreen he had lathered all over himself multiple times throughout the morning, but right now he was glad from being sun-warmed because Jungkook approaching him in just a pair of wet shorts that were clinging to his thighs with droplets of water trickling down his chest would have had him blushing anyway. “Hyung—look!” It looked as though he had collected more rocks and shells for his collection at home—one that Kim Namjoon often took from to decorate his shelves beside his plants—holding them out proudly for Yoongi to see.
“They’re pretty,” he noted with a small nod and Jungkook’s smile grew.
“I’m going to leave them here,” he said, purposefully adding them to the small pile on the towel beside Yoongi. Yoongi just gave him a nod before leaning back in the beach chair—one of Seokjin’s, because his hyung didn’t particularly like getting in the water either. Jungkook gave a wave goodbye that sprinkled a few drops of water over Yoongi’s legs, and then he was jogging back toward the water. Yoongi watched him go, glad his dark glasses hid where he was looking, but from the low laugh beside him, it seemed like Seokjin had noticed.
“That boy is obsessed with you, you know that?” Seokjin wasn’t saying it like an accusation, just an observation. Yoongi huffed under his breath, shifting in his beach chair and picking up the book he had brought along.
“It’s just a puppy crush,” he muttered.
“Puppy love ,” Seokjin sung back and Yoongi rolled his eyes, even as he felt his cheeks heating up more. Thankfully, the conversation didn’t carry on much from there, at least not about Jungkook. One of the things that Yoongi loved the most about Seokjin was the way that they could so peacefully exist in silence with each other, it was nice, and he was really glad that Namjoon had found Seokjin. They deserved each other.
The beach day had been completely impromptu, and it was exactly what Yoongi had needed. It wasn’t often that he liked doing things unplanned, but this had been good. Taehyung and Jungkook spent a lot of the day splashing each other in the water, while Jimin and Hoseok had gone out further, their heads bobbing in the deep water. Namjoon mainly stuck to the shores, which was where Jungkook joined him every now and then, looking through the sand for pretty shells and stones and crabs, while Yoongi and Seokjin were more than happy to just get their feet wet and mainly stay under the shade of the rickety umbrella Taehyung had dug out. For a few months now, it had seemed as though something was developing between Jimin, Taehyung and Hoseok, which Yoongi had been hesitant about at first, because he always expected the worst and Jimin and Taehyung already made up this fierce couple that seemed completely happy with each other, but…But maybe he was wrong. With how things had been going, with the way that Hoseok seemed to fit in so well with both of them…They looked like a complete picture when he was with them, a part that they hadn’t realized had been missing.
Sometimes it made him feel lonely and a bit left behind, that his two best friends that he had shared so much with were taking these important steps forward—Namjoon moving in with Seokjin and Hoseok now preferring movie nights with Taehyung and Jimin more than going out dancing like he had before—while Yoongi was just stayed where he was. He was just Yoongi. Same old Yoongi.
“I can drive back, hyung!” Jungkook offered as they were piling back into their cars after getting dinner at some nearby markets. Seokjin had been yawning most of the afternoon, and Yoongi understood that—even though they hadn’t been in the water, the hot sun and the beach air always made him tired.
“Ah, you’re such a good boy, Jungkookie,” Seokjin crooned as he passed over his keys without hesitation. “So good for your hyungs, aren’t you?” He reached out to ruffle Jungkook’s hair, which was still damp with ocean water, and Jungkook grumbled under his breath as he ducked away from Seokjin’s hands, but it was clear he was pleased as he fell into step beside Yoongi. He swung the keys around in his tattooed fingers and nudged Yoongi in the side lightly.
“You can sit in the front with me, hyung?” Somehow even after a full day, when he’d been active for most of it, Jungkook still seemed filled with energy. “You can choose the music for the drive back.” Yoongi was about to refuse, shake his head and say he was tired and was just planning on sleeping in the back, but Seokjin was already voicing his agreement.
“Perfect. Then I can fall asleep on Namjoon-ah on the way home,” he grinned happily, and was following Namjoon into the backseat before there was any response. Taehyung had been the other one to bring his car, and Hoseok was already in the passenger seat beside him with Jimin in the middle seat of the backseat, the trio waiting for them to get sorted so they could all drive back together.
“Okay,” Yoongi agreed with a nod, and he couldn’t help his small smile when Jungkook skipped the last few steps so that he reached the door in front of Yoongi, pulling it open for him with a flourish. “Thanks, Kookie,” he murmured as he slipped inside, reaching out to pull the door shut behind him but Jungkook was already closing it, careful not to bump him as his eyes dropped down to where Yoongi was fumbling with his seatbelt. Yoongi tried to ignore the flutter in his stomach at Jungkook’s attentiveness, because—because Jungkook was like that with everyone. He noticed things and he was sweet, just like he had noticed that Seokjin was tired and had offered to drive them back home.
True to his word, Jungkook let Yoongi choose the music, which he might have tested out with a couple of terrible songs, but Jungkook just laughed and hummed along. Seokjin and Namjoon were both fast asleep in the backseat, they had been out within the first ten minutes of the drive, and even though Yoongi’s body felt so relaxed he could happily never move ever again, he stayed awake. Mostly. He was slipping in and out of sleep, muscles the least tense they had been in months, and Jungkook was singing softly. The sun was shining off his nose and his lip piercing caught a ray that was splicing through the windscreen and then he smiled—giggled? Yoongi blinked.
“Your smile makes you look like a bunny, you know?” He was surprised by his own words, paying close attention to Jungkook’s response. His eyes widened, although he kept them forward, and Yoongi watched as Jungkook pushed his lips out in a slight pout.
It was cute.
“Yeah, I’ve been told,” Jungkook muttered, but he didn’t sound the happiest about it. Yoongi frowned at that, because Jungkook was a sweet kid, he didn’t deserve to be upset. Especially about something that was adorable.
“It’s cute,” he stated, hoping that his awkwardness didn’t come through in his voice. Jungkook glanced over at him in surprise, his lips parted, before he was blinking and quickly looking forward again. Yoongi saw his cheeks pinking slightly, and a small, pleased smile on his face.
“Thank you, hyung,” Jungkook mumbled under his breath, before they fell quiet again, the sound of music filling the car.
Jungkook made the decision to drop Yoongi off first, given Seokjin and Namjoon were still asleep in the back. Jimin had called and said that they were going back to his and Taehyung’s apartment and Hoseok was coming with them, which had made Yoongi and Jungkook exchange amused looks, before the two cars were going in different directions. Yoongi wasn’t going to argue—he was ready for a quick shower and then falling into bed for a long sleep—and he didn’t protest when Jungkook insisted on helping him get his bag out of the back. Yoongi was making a mental note to message Namjoon and Seokjin before he went to sleep when Jungkook stepped onto the footpath and was fumbling around in the pocket of his hoodie.
“This is for you, hyung,” Jungkook smiled, looking a little shy, and Yoongi looked down at what Jungkook was offering in his open palm. It was a shell—must have been one that he had collected today—worn smooth from the water, with pale streaks of colour through the middle. “It was the prettiest one,” Jungkook said as Yoongi took the shell, his fingertips whisper-soft grazing against Jungkook’s palm. “Just like you.” Yoongi blinked, and he felt pressure in his chest as his breath caught.
Jungkook flashed him a small smile, the corner of his mouth crooking up, before he was stepping back and moving toward the driver's side door.
“Have a good night, hyung!”
It had just—it had been a bad day. A really bad day. For way more reasons than what would usually make a bad day for Yoongi. It had been raining that morning when he was halfway to work and he got water in his shoes, soaking his socks, and when he’d arrived, he realized he had left his wallet at home, so he had no money to buy a coffee or anything on break. Namjoon had instantly offered to get him something, or share the packed lunch that Seokjin gave him every morning, but Yoongi had declined, not wanting Namjoon to spend any of his money on him. It had looked like Namjoon wanted to argue, but then their boss had come in unexpectedly, acting like the complete asshole he was, complaining about the cleanliness of the store, the slower sales, a review that had been left four months ago about ‘unprofessional facial piercings on the employees’. By the time it had reached three o’clock, Namjoon had forced him away from the counter and any customers, getting him to start deep cleaning the shelves they had to now get through. He’d forced Yoongi to eat his apple, which Yoongi did appreciate, but there was absolutely nothing to bring back the day. He just wanted his fucking shift to end and to get home and surround himself with quiet and darkness.
Yoongi had come back from some shelves with a stack of records that still had stickers from a sale that ended weeks ago, and was huffing in frustration as he and Namjoon began to peel the stickers off, his blunt nails making it all so difficult, when the front door of the shop opened. Yoongi huffed out through his nose, already annoyed at the presence of anyone other than Namjoon, and glanced up to see if the customer was approaching them directly. He huffed out again when he realized it wasn’t a customer, it was Jungkook.
Looking as cheerful as usual, a wide smile on his face with a bandana pushing back his hair. He looked a little sweaty, probably from some exercise that Yoongi hated, and approached the counter at a skip. Yoongi couldn’t help but roll his eyes, already bracing himself for the energy of the interaction, the flirting that was bound to happen in Jungkook’s own way, the fact that Jungkook looked so warm and cozy despite the fact he’d just been outside while Yoongi’s socks were still damp and his feet were cold—
“What now , Jungkook-ah?” Yoongi snapped as Jungkook dumped his bag on the counter, completely uncaring of the organised piles that Yoongi and Namjoon had been creating with the records. He didn’t realize quite how harsh his voice came out until he felt Namjoon stiffen beside him, and that just caused another hot flare of frustration inside him. He forced himself to look up, hoping to just shrug it off, but Jungkook’s expression made him freeze.
Jungkook’s smile had completely dropped, his lips parted and his chin trembling slightly, while his eyes that were already so fucking big had just managed to get bigger. And were very clearly filled with tears.
That Yoongi had fucking caused.
Fuck.
“I, uh—” Jungkook recovered quickly. It was kind of scary how quickly he recovered. He shook his head and let out a laugh that actually sounded genuine, but his fingers were shaking where he quickly was unzipping his bag and pulling out a few bags. “You said in the groupchat you hadn’t eaten today, so I—I got you some food after class.” He wasn’t looking up, not at Yoongi and not at Namjoon, speaking quickly as he put the bags on the counter and then jerked his bag back over his shoulder. Yoongi hadn’t noticed that on the other side of where his bag had been, there were two cups of boba. His heart locked up in his chest as he stared down at the food, his mouth opening but no words there. Jungkook’s head lifted, but he wasn’t looking at either of them as he flashed a smile that wasn’t real. “I better get to the gym. Have a good day, hyungs.” And then he was practically fleeing.
Yoongi could feel Namjoon’s eyes on him without even looking at him.
“That wasn’t fair,” Namjoon’s voice was tight, before he was snatching up one of the boba teas and stalking off.
Yoongi meant to apologize. He was going to apologize, he meant to message Jungkook separate from the groupchat—something he’d only done a handful of times—but he just…Hadn’t.
It was a few nights later that he was heading over to Seokjin and Namjoon’s apartment and he was trying to figure out how he was going to say something to Jungkook. Things were probably completely fine and Jungkook would be his usual bouncy, flirty self but he should still apologize, he knew that, and he was pretty sure Namjoon wasn’t going to smile at him again until he did. He arrived at the apartment the same time that Hoseok did, and Hoseok practically threw open the door when Seokjin answered, always loud when announcing his presence and hugging everyone there, it made it easy for Yoongi to just slip in behind him.
Fifteen minutes in, and Jungkook clearly wasn’t…The same. Or—he seemed like that he was with everyone else, just not with Yoongi.
For one, he didn’t even try to sit next to Yoongi, even though there was space on the couch beside him, and usually within minutes, Jungkook would be smiling and falling onto the cushions beside him. He still greeted Yoongi when everyone else did, but he barely looked up at Yoongi, and while no one else seemed to notice, Yoongi did. It made him feel off-kilter and unsure as he made himself comfortable.
And then once their dinner had arrived, Jungkook didn’t offer to get Yoongi a drink from the kitchen when he and Jimin had gotten up to grab drinks from Seokjin’s fridge. It wasn’t that Jungkook was rude—he and Jimin brought back enough for everyone there—but Jungkook would usually go out of his way to ask Yoongi what he preferred and insist on being the one to give him his drink, it caused a lot of fond coo’s from the rest of his hyungs, but not now.
Namjoon had definitely noticed by the time they were halfway through dinner, and maybe Jimin and Taehyung did too. Or maybe they knew more than they were letting on, because they were sitting on either side of Jungkook rather than squished together, and every now and then it felt as though Taehyung was watching him.
Yoongi tried to act as though he was present and completely aware of the conversations that were taking place, but as he poked at his noodles, he was only thinking about Jungkook and how he needed to find a moment alone to apologize. He shouldn’t have waited so long, he should have messaged him earlier, he had clearly upset Jungkook a lot more than he had expected and that wasn’t okay. It made his chest feel heavy in his chest as he watched Jungkook laugh loudly at something Seokjin had said.
It wasn’t until the evening was nearly over that Yoongi had the chance to speak with Jungkook. Hoseok was sitting in Taehyung’s lap by this stage, something that Yoongi knew Hoseok was going to be squealing about for the next week, and Jungkook was clearing away their rubbish that Yoongi was able to catch him alone. Jungkook froze for a split second when he turned around and realized that Yoongi was standing behind him, before he recovered and purposefully schooled his expression into something neutral.
And that was the thing.
Jungkook was never neutral, he was filled with expression, everything that he felt played out across his face and movements and his voice . He had to concentrate hard to be neutral.
“What’s going on?” He asked in a quiet and almost uninterested tone, meeting Yoongi’s eyes with an even stare.
“I—” Yoongi stumbled, blinking as he stared at Jungkook’s blank face, before he cleared his throat and had to look away. “I just wanted to say sorry. I was an asshole the other day.” Jungkook stared at him for a moment longer, Yoongi had to look up when he was met with silence, before he nodded.
“Yeah. It’s fine, hyung,” Jungkook responded, and then stepped to the side, as though to leave. And Yoongi might not always read people the best, but he knew that things weren’t ‘fine’.
“Jungkook-ah,” Yoongi stepped to the side as well, purposefully blocking Jungkook, who immediately took a step back so there was space between them. His face wasn’t quite as composed now, sucking his piercing into his mouth and a wrinkle appearing on his forehead. “I am sorry. I shouldn’t have spoken to you that way. I should—”
“Hyung. Don’t worry. I shouldn’t show up to yours and Namjoonie-hyungs work uninvited,” Jungkook replied, his voice still quiet, the words clipped. “I won’t do it again,” he bowed his head forward and side stepped again, this time the other way around Yoongi, and Yoongi didn’t try to stop him again. He heaved out a breath and looked down at his feet.
That definitely hadn’t gone the way he had hoped, but he was sure it would pass.
It hadn’t passed.
It had been almost three weeks now, and Jungkook was taking up a stupid amount of brain space for someone that he didn’t even consider a close friend. Or maybe the absence of Jungkook was making him just realize how much he actually thought about Jungkook on the daily…
They hadn’t messaged often in the past, but Jungkook sent him messages or screenshots at least twice or three times a week, and now their chat was silent. Yoongi only ever really replied to a couple of the messages, although he wasn’t particularly good at messaging anyone , but he always enjoyed what Jungkook sent him. It was nice to know someone was thinking of him, that someone knew what he would find funny or interesting and didn’t get upset with his irregular communication style.
He still saw Jungkook’s name pop up in the groupchat he had with their mutual friends, although he didn’t seem quite as talkative. From a few things that had been said, it sounded like he had been spending a lot of time at Jimin and Taehyung’s apartment rather than at his own place. Yoongi went back and forth a few times, wondering if he could possibly be the reason for that—was Jungkook upset? Was that why he was there? But everytime his thoughts drifted in that direction, he shook them off, because that wouldn’t make sense. He didn’t think what had happened between them would have affected him that much. He knew Jungkook had a crush on him— had , has, he wasn’t sure—but he’d seen Jungkook flirting with others too and he was so young . Crushes came and went. The only reason he hadn’t had a hundred crushes when he was twenty-three was because he only really interacted with Namjoon and Hoseok. He found people pretty overwhelming, always had, and preferred his own company, or just his few good friends.
He was the same now, although he had more friends than just Namjoon and Hoseok. He considered Seokjin a good friend, he loved him, enjoyed that he had a hyung in the group who spoilt him a little at times. And Taehyung and Jimin—Hoseok had introduced them to their small group almost two years ago. Yoongi warmed up slow to people, but he had liked them, getting close first with Taehyung and later with Jimin, although he still held back a little with them, knew that he was still a bit tentative around them.
And then Jungkook.
Ten months ago, he’d transferred from his previous college, and moved to the one that Jimin and Taehyung had just graduated from. He had a year left of his degree and it sounded as though he had plans to stick around in Seoul once he was done—Yoongi was pretty sure Seokjin would have a conniption if his favourite dongsaeng moved away. And Yoongi…
Yoongi would be upset.
Apparently it only took a few weeks of Jungkook not giving him attention and acting as though the sun began shining when he stepped into a room for Yoongi to start to mope. And Yoongi couldn’t go to Namjoon about it, Namjoon was still acting a bit huffy around him for upsetting Jungkook in the first place, and that automatically meant he couldn’t go to Seokjin about it. He was actually pretty sure that Namjoon mustn’t have told his boyfriend that he had upset Jungkook or else he would have gotten an earful about taking so long to apologize.
So he went to Hoseok.
Hoseok raised his eyebrows when he showed up, but he didn’t hesitate to open his door and allow Yoongi inside. He knew that Hoseok didn’t have work today, he didn’t work Thursdays, and when he had checked the groupchat earlier, Hoseok had said that he didn’t have any plans, was just going to be cleaning his apartment.
Hoseok didn’t make Yoongi talk, even though he clearly knew that something was wrong.
He showed him videos of what he and his students were working on in class, and they put on a movie that they had meant to go to the theatres to see but had never gotten around to. Yoongi ordered them delivery, insisting on paying since he had just shown up, Hoseok’s address already one that he had pre-saved. He didn’t realize how long he had been there when Hoseok suddenly squinted at the clock on his wall and jerked forward on the couch.
“Ah shit, I actually need to leave, hyung,” Hoseok’s eyes widened as he looked down at his phone and Yoongi raised his eyebrows in surprise. He didn’t think Hoseok had had anything on today when he’d chosen to come over and mope, especially when he caught a glimpse of Hoseok’s phone and saw that there were several unanswered messages lighting up the screen.
“Did you have something on?” Yoongi asked as he yawned and straightened up on the couch, stretching his arms above his head.
“Jungkook-ah’s got a game today,” Hoseok replied, completely unaware of how Yoongi froze at the mention of the youngests name, preoccupied with taking their cups up to the kitchen and then muttering something under his breath about needing to find his jacket. It had been weeks since he had seen Jungkook outside of a group setting—and even then, it wasn’t as though Jungkook spoke to him properly at any of those. He barely even smiled at him anymore.
“I didn’t know you went to Jungkook-ah’s games,” Yoongi said quietly as he stood up, following after Hoseok as he struggled to get into his jacket.
“I’ve only gone to a couple—Tae and Jimin-ah always go, but Tae has a big project due in a couple of days and so he’s not going. I’m keeping Jimin-ah company,” there was a slight pink flush to his cheeks, and usually, Yoongi would tease him about that. About the way that Hoseok was so clearly in love with Jimin and Taehyung, but he held it in this time.
“I’ll come,” Yoongi blurted out before he had really thought it through. Hoseok had been knelt down, tying his shoes, and he twisted his head to look up at Yoongi in surprise.
“Wha—really?” He asked.
“Yeah, uh,” Yoongi shifted from foot-to-foot under his friends gaze. “I like basketball—you know I used to play in school.”
“Well, yeah , I know that ,” Hoseok was still looking at him closely, squinting a little as he stood back up. “But you’ve never come to a game before, even when Jungkook-ah’s asked you.” And yeah, Jungkook had. Jungkook had asked him to come a few times in the past, but he’d never looked bothered with Yoongi had cringed and said that the idea of being stuck in a smelly gymnasium with people crowding around and yelling wasn’t something he enjoyed too much anymore. He’d been understanding and sweet…Like Jungkook always was. Had been. No, still was, just…Not so much with Yoongi anymore.
“Yeah, well, I’m coming today,” Yoongi mumbled as he knelt to put his own shoes on, hoping that Hoseok didn’t push it any further.
And he didn’t.
Just like he hadn’t pushed Yoongi to talk when he had shown up unannounced on his doorstep.
It wasn’t a long walk to the campus, and Hoseok carried the conversation, chattering about Jimin and Taehyung, barely pausing to breathe, and Yoongi just stared at the ground under his feet as they walked. Part of him was paying attention to what Hoseok was saying, but most of him was thinking about Jungkook. He knew that Jungkook was good at basketball—although Jungkook was good at most things—and he’d seen him with some of his team before. He didn’t know many of them, but he knew the names of Kim Yugyeom and Bang Chan. He’d seen Jungkook with them quite a bit, they were ‘gym bros’ and didn’t seem to understand the phrase ‘personal boundaries’, so it made sense that Jungkook was close with them.
“Hyung?” Jimin’s voice was confused and it had Yoongi’s head jerking up. Jimin’s eyes flicked between Hoseok and Yoongi, but rested on Yoongi with a question hanging in the air.
“Yeah, hyung finally decided to come along and support his dongsaeng,” Hoseok grinned, looking completely unaware of the tension between Jimin and Yoongi. Yoongi still wasn’t entirely sure what Jungkook had said to Jimin and Taehyung, but he knew that it was something . The pair of them weren’t avoiding him, per se, but they definitely weren’t as open and friendly as they usually were. “Is that—” Hoseok only just seemed to sense the tension, looking back and forth between Jimin and Yoongi. “Is that okay?” He asked and Yoongi just arched an eyebrow at Jimin. Jimin stared at him for another beat before he was slipping his arm through Hoseok’s and humming.
“Sure, let’s go,” he answered, and it wasn’t anywhere near as welcoming as he usually sounded, but it wasn’t a rejection, so Yoongi followed after them. He saw the way Hoseok was looking back at him as they entered the auditorium but he chose to ignore it. He felt his body tensing as more people milled around them, the volume only getting louder as they reached the main gymnasium.
He hadn’t just been making excuses when Jungkook had invited him. He really wasn’t sure how he had done this back in high school—and back then he wasn’t just trapped in a room with a bunch of loud people, he actually had their attention on him as he had played. Now, he had to mentally prepare himself before going to a get-together with more than ten people, and the last concert he had gone to with Namjoon had made him feel beyond nauseous. He sucked in a sharp breath, glad that he’d pulled a mask out of his pocket and slipped it on, so his expression was unreadable to those around him.
“You good, hyung?” Hoseok asked as they reached the stands, and Yoongi didn’t verbally respond, dipping his head in a jerky nod. Jimin looked back at him for a brief moment before he was focussed on leading them up the metal steps, toward a spot that he had his eye on.
It felt better once they were seated, and Yoongi knew that it wasn’t just his social anxiety that was making this difficult, it was also his general anxiety toward Jungkook. He knew that he was making a point, coming here, and he really wasn’t sure what Jungkook’s reaction would be. Jimin didn’t look particularly pleased to see him, which added to the edge he was feeling, but he knew Jimin was just looking out for his best friend. He’d done the same, when there were people he didn’t trust around Namjoon and Hoseok, but then that made him feel upset that Jimin didn’t trust him around Jungkook, so he chose to focus on the court instead.
Jungkook was good.
He wasn’t the captain, but Yoongi was completely unsurprised when he was voted player of the day after the game, because it seemed like he was gracefully everywhere . And it wasn’t in the way where he was trying to hog the ball and insert himself—he held back when other players were in control, he hovered a little closer when things looked like they needed someone, he anticipated his team mates' needs incredibly. He clearly got on well with them—the whole team seemed to get on well—and he was kind of a star player all around, the kind of player that Yoongi would have liked on his team when he had played growing up. He was playful but clearly took their game seriously.
When he’d seen Yoongi in the stands, though, he’d faltered. His eyes had widened and his smile froze on his face, clearly only expecting to see Jimin and Hoseok. He’d moved along quickly, and barely looked at them the rest of the game.
Afterwards, Jimin and Hoseok didn’t make a move to file out with the rest of the audience, staying in their seats while Yoongi strained to watch where Jungkook was, now talking with some of his teammates on the side of the court before disappearing out of the gym. Jimin only stood up once they were some of the last ones left in the gym and Yoongi’s leg was starting to bounce up and down impatiently.
“We usually wait down there until Jungkookie comes out from getting changed,” Jimin nodded down to where a few others were gathered, family members and partners Yoongi was assuming, before looking back at Yoongi with narrowed eyes. “But I’m thirsty. So we’re going to go and get a drink, and we’ll meet you and Jungkookie outside.” Hoseok looked surprised at the turn of events, but Jimin was already tugging on his jersey and Hoseok just gave Yoongi a confused but encouraging thumbs up before he was letting Jimin lead him down the stairs. Yoongi watched them go with narrowed eyes, wondering if this meant Jimin was trying to help or hurt his cause. Although…He still wasn’t sure what the cause was exactly.
Something to do with Jungkook.
Because so many of his thoughts these days seemed to be to do with Jungkook.
Yoongi swallowed hard, wiping his palms on his shirt before slowly walking down the steps. There were only a handful of people left, which almost felt worse , because Yoongi was awkwardly waiting with people close to the team and he— wasn’t . He pulled out his phone, scrolling through twitter mindlessly, not really paying much attention to what he was reading, his eyes flicking up every few seconds to see if the team was leaving the dressing room yet. It turned out he missed Jungkook anyway, as members slowly started coming out, and it was only when he was right in front of Yoongi, with damp hair pushed back from his face and water droplets running down one side of his throat, that Yoongi realized he was there.
“Yoongi-hyung?” He sounded as confused as he looked and Yoongi dipped his head forward. “Did you come with Jimin-hyung?”
“Yeah, I—well, I came with Hobah. I was with him earlier today, and then he came with Jimin-ah and I kind of—I came as well, yeah,” Yoongi cut his rambling off by clearing his throat and looking away, feeling his face heat under his mask. It was probably everywhere above his mask as well, which was painfully embarrassing to think about, so he cleared his throat again. “You played really well.”
“Thanks,” Jungkook pursed his lips, looking as though he had something else to say, but instead he adjusted the grip he had on the bag over his shoulder and turned half around. “Where’s Jimin-hyung and Seok-hyung now?” Yoongi felt a twinge— more than that—at the fact Jungkook clearly didn’t want to be around him, even when that’s something he would have been itching for just a few weeks ago, as cocky as that made Yoongi sound. It had just always been obvious to everyone that Jungkook liked being around Yoongi, and jumped at every chance for it to happen, and Yoongi…He really hadn’t realized how much he liked it too.
“They were just getting something to drink. They said they’d meet us outside,” Yoongi said, nodding toward the double doors that lead out of the gym. Jungkook nodded, still not looking at Yoongi, and Yoongi sighed, glancing around and noting that there were only three other people left in the gym, on the far side. “Jungkook-ah, can we—can we talk? Just—can we just figure out what’s wrong?” He sounded stupid and he dug his teeth into his lower lip.
“Nothing’s wrong, hyung,” Jungkook still wasn’t looking at him, eyes trained on the doors, unmoving.
“But it is,” Yoongi stated.
“It’s not,” Jungkook intoned back.
“It is !” Yoongi’s voice rose and his voice echoed around the gym more than he expected. Jungkook looked back at him with widened eyes. Yoongi jerked down the front of his mask, because he at least owed that to Jungkook, the fact that his face was already on complete display while Yoongi’s was hidden. Jungkook’s eyes flickered over his face before his eyebrows were pulling together, and he pressed his lips together, not saying anything. “Jungkook-ah, I—I didn’t mean to snap at you. I was having a bad day, but that still wasn’t fair of me to take that out on you.”
“Hyung,” Jungkook heaved out a breath, and the way his lips were curled wasn’t in a nice smile. It looked upset. “You were having a bad day, but you meant what you said. You were annoyed at me—you get annoyed with me.” Yoongi blinked in surprise, his pink lips parting as his brain scrambled to take in what Jungkook was saying and redirect his thought process. “So it’s fine. I’m not going to bother you anymore. I’m giving you your space and stuff,” Jungkook shrugged a shoulder and then he was looking away again. Yoongi’s heart twisted as he looked up at Jungkook, noting that his smile and his tone were self-deprecating, that he was taking this directly on himself.
“Jungkook-ah…” Yoongi stared at the younger boy, at how he kept swallowing and the chords of his throat flexed, at the tension at the corners of his mouth, and he hated that, he hated it so much, the fact that Jungkook was feeling uncomfortable, the fact that he couldn’t fix it—the fact he caused it. “Jungkook-ah, no , you don’t—you really don’t—”
“Come on ,” the snort that Jungkook was sarcastic in a way that Yoongi hadn’t heard from the younger boy before. “I’ve heard when you’ve said stuff in the past, I notice when you put space between us or move somewhere else when I’ve been sitting beside you for too long—I know you get fed up with me hanging around—”
“ No !” Yoongi’s voice had raised again, his hands curled into fists as his mind raced. “ No , I—” he jerked his head side to side. “Sometimes you’re—you’re really intense, and I just—I don’t know how to handle that. The way you look at me, it’s—it can be overwhelming. It was a lot. I didn’t want to encourage your—your crush on me when my feelings were…All over the place,” his cheeks flared again and he saw the way the tips of Jungkook’s ears turned pink. “I never didn’t want you around, I just didn’t want to lead you on—I never wanted to hurt you.” He didn’t know how Jungkook was taking what he was saying, he was still looking away, clutching at his bag strap. “And I hate that I hurt you. I hate it so much and I didn’t know how fucking badly I would miss you and hyung is just really, really sorry.” He was breathing hard by the time he finished speaking, and Jungkook was finally looking at him, really looking at him, his expression different, careful.
“You just sounded—you sounded so frustrated. Annoyed. Tired of me. Like my appa, actually,” he finally said after a stretch of silence, and Yoongi flinched. Jungkook didn’t talk about his parents much, but when he did, his father was never spoken about in a kind light. Too busy, always absent, never happy to see his family.
That was the last thing Yoongi would want to do.
“Hyung didn’t mean to sound like that,” he whispered, fingers curling into his palms. Jungkook was watching him, and even though his expression wasn’t as hard as it was before, it still wasn’t open. He looked as though he was thinking hard about what he was going to say, a lot harder than he usually did.
“It doesn’t matter what you meant, it matters how it made me feel,” he finally responded, and Yoongi blinked at him rapidly. “But okay. Thank you.”
“Thank you?” Yoongi echoed back at him, feeling completely on edge.
“For your apology,” Jungkook bowed his head forward and Yoongi blinked again, although slower this time. His head was spinning and his mouth felt dry, and the next words came out before he had even thought twice about them.
Or maybe that was a lie, because they had been dancing elusively like ballerinas at the back of his head for weeks now.
“Would you like to go on a date with me?” Jungkook looked as caught off-guard as Yoongi felt. His head reared back and his eyes got wider than Yoongi had ever said them, which said a lot. The silence hung between them, tense and heavy, and Yoongi was about to try and give them some kind of out, when Jungkook spoke.
“Yes?” He sounded unsure.
“Yes?” Yoongi asked, his hand twitching at his side.
“Yes,” Jungkook repeated with a nod, although his expression didn’t look as certain as his voice sounded. Yoongi didn’t mention it. “We should go and find hyungs.” Yoongi nodded, tucking his mask on his burning face and following Jungkook out of the gym.
It didn’t start well.
Yoongi got a smile out of Jungkook when he directed him toward a small store that was tucked behind a dessert parlor that featured pottery and tile painting, but things fell pretty quiet again after that. Yoongi really wasn’t the best when it came to conversations when things were awkward, and Jungkook looked so uncomfortable opposite him that he wondered if this had all been a mistake. But the thing was, he didn’t want it to be a mistake. He just really wanted the same easiness between them that had existed before he had been an ass and hurt Jungkook and made him doubt himself.
“Jungkook-ah?” Yoongi murmured after they had been there for almost an hour, and the silence was beginning to verge on something painful.
“Mm?” Jungkook looked up from where he had been painting a tall vase in shades of green.
“Please say something,” Yoongi knew that he sounded a little desperate, but he didn’t care. “I really miss—I miss you talking.” Jungkook’s forehead wrinkled briefly before he was finally smiling again, small but sincere, ducking his head back forward as he dipped his brush into paint.
“Yeah? Didn’t think you were listening half the time,” Jungkook replied, but he didn’t sound too upset.
“I don’t always. Sometimes there’s too much, I can’t take in everything you’re saying,” Yoongi admitted, hoping that Jungkook didn’t take it the wrong way as he reached for the yellow paint, because he didn’t mean it that way. “I just—I like hearing your voice.” Jungkook’s motions slowed and Yoongi cleared his throat. “But I try to—when it’s important.”
“Yeah?” Jungkook asked quietly as he looked up.
“Yeah,” Yoongi nodded as he met his eyes.
“That sounds good,” Jungkook mumbled before looking back down, and his smile was a little bigger now. A moment later, he started speaking about his basketball game that was coming up, his voice light and slowly picking up confidence as Yoongi hummed and nodded every so often, his shoulders losing their tension as Jungkook filled the quiet. Yoongi was painting his vase varying shades of blue, mainly darker shades, while Jungkook was choosing more pastel colours, purples and greens and cream. As Yoongi glanced across the table, he couldn’t help but think that the vases would probably look very pretty together, even though the colours were different.
Yoongi finished first, but he kept dipping his brush into the paint so that Jungkook didn’t feel the need to rush. Jungkook had started painting some delicate flowers up one side of his vase that had dried, the tip of his tongue pressed between his teeth and his eyebrows pulled together as he concentrated. He had been talking about a movie that he was going to see with Seokjin and Namjoon before drifting off to focus on his flowers and Yoongi found himself smiling at how cute that was.
Because Jungkook was.
Cute, that is.
They took their items back up to the counter when they had both finished painting, Yoongi insisting on paying when Jungkook reached back for his wallet. The girl who took their vases smiled as she looked between the two of them, bowing her head as she wished them well, letting them know that they were free to pick their items in a week. The place where they were going for dinner was only a block away, and Yoongi told Jungkook that they didn’t need to take his car. Jungkook had fallen quiet again as he followed half a step behind, but it was a more comfortable silence, his hands shoved in his pockets and his eyes dancing around the street and curiously looking into shop windows. The corner of Yoongi’s lips curled as he looked at their reflection in a passing boutiques window before his eyes were lifting to look up at the diner he’d been searching for. Jungkook seemed to find the place at the same time and his steps turned into excited steps.
“Yeah?!” He exclaimed in a question, looking eagerly over at Yoongi, and he nodded. “This is one of my favourite places,” Jungkook grinned happily, cheeks bunching adorably, and it was the biggest smile Yoongi had seen so far. There was kimchijjim that this small restaurant made that Jungkook had mentioned more than once that it reminded him of home, like what his eomma made, Yoongi remembered.
Just as expected, once they were seated and they looked over the menu, Jungkook was distracted by artwork on the walls, clearly already having made his decision on what he was ordering. Yoongi made sure not to take long deciding on what he wanted to eat, and they ordered from the young girl behind the counter who looked bored out of her mind. Yoongi didn’t take the first spoonful of his noodle soup until he had watched Jungkook take a large mouthful, shoving a little extra pork into his mouth and scrunching his nose, a wrinkle appearing between his eyebrows. Yoongi let out a silent exhale, his shoulders slumping forward a little as he happily ate from his own bowl. They didn’t talk much, and Yoongi didn’t mind that at all, he liked comfortable silence, but he also hoped that Jungkook wasn’t holding himself back from saying anything. Once they were finished, Jungkook shyly thanked Yoongi for bringing him here, and he tried to pay, since Yoongi had paid for the first part of their date, but Yoongi almost shoved his hand out of the way to get his bills on the counter first. Jungkook thanked him again as they were walking back toward his car, looking a little bashful as he glanced over at Yoongi with his hands shoved in his pocket, and he just looked—cute. Aish , he was so fucking cute.
Yoongi had always known that, but now that he was letting himself look, it was like he was only just realizing how cute.
Jungkook dropped him off at his apartment, his car idling in a way that made it clear he wasn’t going to walk Yoongi up to his door. Yoongi couldn’t help but wonder if maybe Jungkook was making sure that Yoongi didn’t invite him inside, but he pushed that away. It hadn’t been in his plan, he’d had a good time with Jungkook and he hoped that he’d had a good time too. Jungkook looked like he did, hesitant smiles and big eyes and Yoongi reached over to brush his hair back and touch his cheek briefly before thanking him for spending the afternoon with him.
“I had a really good time, hyung,” Jungkook said softly, and Yoongi’s heart squeezed happily.
That was all he wanted.
And the next date went well too, and the one after that, and the one after that.
They were good , but…They weren’t amazing.
Something was wrong.
Something was off.
Jungkook was still holding back.
Every time they went on a date, it was Yoongi who was asking Jungkook to come with him, who was deciding where they were going, who lead the way. It wasn’t something that Yoongi minded , exactly, but it wasn’t until he was contemplating reaching across the table where they were painting and looping his fingers together with Jungkook’s, that it properly clicked. Even though Jungkook always said yes, was giving him genuine smiles and thanked him sincerely every time they went out together, even though he chattered when Yoongi gently prompted him…He was holding back. There was still a part of him that he was holding back. Because Jungkook from six months ago would have started seeking skinship all on his own when he and Yoongi were alone, and now he still won’t sit next to him when they all gathered at Seokjin’s for dinner. He didn’t avoid him; he passed him food with a smile, he occasionally took a spot on the floor next to Yoongi’s legs if there weren’t many spots, and he spoke to him easily. But it was nothing like it had been before. He didn’t flirt with Yoongi, didn’t seek him out, didn’t make any extra effort past his usual friendly, helpful self that he was to his other hyungs.
It hurt Yoongi when he realized that, and he’d stopped himself from reaching for Jungkook’s hand. There was an icy feeling in his chest that he tried to brush away, because it felt like it was wrong to let himself wallow. Jungkook gave himself so much, so constantly, putting himself out there for Yoongi over and over again when Yoongi barely showed him any interest, so Yoongi had a bit to make up for. Part of him fleetingly worried if Jungkook’s feelings for him weren’t what they were before, if maybe before when he was just saying ‘yes’ to Yoongi because he didn’t want to hurt him—Jungkook could be overly sensitive of others feelings at times—but he pushed that aside as well. Surely Jungkook wouldn’t do that.
But all those thoughts were pounding and messy and a constant running stream through his head and behind his eyes that he found himself getting out of bed early on a Sunday morning and trudging over to Jimin and Taehyung’s apartment. He realized that it wasn’t really early, just his version of it, as he noticed how light and busy it was outside, although that was a good thing because that meant he wouldn’t be waking Taehyung up. Probably Jimin, because Jimin wasn’t a morning person, but at least not Taehyung. It wasn’t until he was buzzing them to let him into the building that he realized he should have messaged them ahead of arriving. Generally he didn’t go anywhere without organising, impromptu visits like this weren’t usually a thing he did. But despite Taehyung’s surprised voice over the speaker, he didn’t hesitate to let Yoongi into the building.
“Hyung,” Taehyung greeted him as he opened the door to their apartment, his expression still surprised, and Yoongi didn’t blame him.
“Hi, Taehyung-ah,” he murmured as he slipped out of his shoes, trading them for a pair of slippers Taehyung handed him. He could count on one hand the amount of times he had come here by himself, and it had never been uninvited, which he was becoming more aware of as Taehyung lead him into the lounge, shooting him expectant looks.
And then Jimin and Hoseok spilled out of the bedroom, in various states of undress, and the shirt that was hanging off Hoseok’s shoulders was definitely one that Yoongi had seen Taehyung wearing, both of them instantly searching out Yoongi.
“Yoongi-hyung?” Jimin called out.
“Hyung, are you okay?” Hoseok’s face was filled with concern, which just made Yoongi feel even worse about interrupting their lovers morning, apparently. He wondered when Hoseok had started spending the night, and if it was a thing that happened frequently, but that was for later.
“Yeah, I—sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt,” he looked between them with a wince but Jimin was making hushing sounds as he found a sweatshirt to pull on so he wasn’t naked from the waist up anymore, and then he was cuddling up against Yoongi’s side. Yoongi felt warmth spread through him, because that was one thing about Jimin, he really couldn’t see any of his friends hurting. Yoongi knew that both Jimin and Taehyung were still a little wary of him, and he wasn’t sure how much they knew about what he and Jungkook were doing right now, but they still worried about him, wanted to comfort him. That was why Yoongi was here, he knew that he could trust him. Despite how difficult Yoongi found it to accept people into his life, they were his friends. And they were also the ones who knew Jungkook best. “I wanted—I wanted to talk to you about Jungkook-ah,” he admitted quickly, not wanting to drag it out, his hand automatically going to his mouth to chew on the corner of his thumb before stopping himself. He felt Jimin stiffen slightly beside him, but he kept his wrapped tightly around Yoongi, and Hoseok was sitting on Yoongi’s other side, holding Yoongi’s hand comfortingly, cuddled in close but quiet.
Yoongi was inexplicably happy that Hoseok had been at the apartment as well.
“What about Jungkookie?” Taehyung prompted from where he was curled up in an armchair opposite them, Yeontan perched in his lap.
“I wanted…” Yoongi paused, taking in a deep breath as he looked down at the floor in front of him, shiny wood with little scratches that made it look more homey. “Me and Jungkook-ah have gone out on a couple dates,” he stated, and found it easier to continue when there was no response, positive or negative, from those around them. It had only been a few weeks, but it hadn’t been something Yoongi had spoken to any of their friends about, and he wasn’t sure what Jungkook had said. “And they’ve been good—they’ve been really good. But something is wrong. I didn’t—” Yoongi huffed through his nose and gritted his teeth. “I didn’t mean to hurt him, and I don’t know how to make this right, and I have to make it right.” He fell quiet and Hoseok squeezed his hand softly. He was glad he didn’t need to elaborate on what he’d done to hurt Jungkook, Jimin and Taehyung clearly already knew, and he’d spoken to Hoseok about it a few weeks ago.
Jimin was the one who spoke up first.
“He’s nervous,” he murmured, head resting on Yoongi’s shoulder.
“He is,” Taehyung nodded in agreement as he scratched behind Yeontan’s ear. “Really nervous.” Yoongi hated that. He knew how stifling it could feel to be nervous all too well. He hated that he was the reason that Jungkook was feeling that way.
“I don’t want him to be nervous,” he mumbled under his breath.
“I think in some ways it can’t be helped,” Hoseok said after a few moments. “He’s liked you for a long time, so he was always going to be nervous if anything happened between you two.” Yoongi’s cheeks burned at the reminder of Jungkook’s crush, but he didn’t say anything.
“He’s flirted with you for ages , and you’ve always kinda—you know, you’re Yoongi-hyung,” Jimin shrugged a shoulder.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Yoongi grunted.
“Well, you know…” Jimin trailed off with a shrug of one shoulder again.
“You have Resting Bitch Face, hyung. We love you for it, but it can be impossible to read you at times,” Taehyung stated from the other side of the room, and Yeontan tilted his head to the side as he watched Yoongi, as though he agreed.
“And it’s not like you were rude to Jungkook-ah—not most of the time,” Hoseok rushed to add, because they knew that there was one particular episode, but that wasn’t the rule, that wasn’t how everything was. “You just treat him like, well—the rest of us, I guess.”
“More like me and Jiminie,” Taehyung corrected. “Kind of like—you like us but you’re not completely comfortable with us.” Yoongi stiffened at that, at how casually Taehyung said that. And he knew that he had a habit of keeping people at arms length, only really letting Namjoon, Hoseok and Seokjin in, but he didn’t realize how obvious that was from the outside. It wasn’t his best trait, he was slowly getting better at it, but…
“I’m sorry,” Yoongi sighed, rubbing a hand over his face, but Jimin just hummed under his breath.
“It’s okay, hyung, we understand. You take a little longer to warm up to people, but we have enough love to share around until you’re ready, and we know you care about us,” Jimin squeezed the arm he had wrapped around Yoongi’s shoulder before he was loosening his grip, scooting over to give him a little bit of space. Yoongi appreciated that, the way Jimin seemed to know when he was feeling a bit crowded. Hoseok’s hand was still warm and steady, and Yoongi tightened his fingers just slightly, to make sure that Hoseok didn’t think to pull away. He couldn’t lose the grounding touch that Hoseok was providing right now.
“I don’t know how to—I don’t know how to be different,” Yoongi mumbled, feeling rather small all of a sudden, incredibly vulnerable. He never meant for people to feel like he didn’t care— important people. His people. There were sounds from across the room and suddenly Yeontan’s little claws were skittering across the wooden floor as Taehyung rushed over to join them.
“ No !”
“That’s not what we meant!”
“ Hyung ,” Hoseok was the only one still touching him, but he liked that they were all close by now, Taehyung crouched down in front of him and Jimin close at his other side. “Hyung, we don’t want you to be any different,” it was Hoseok’s voice that was loudest, closest, warmest. “We don’t want you to change, and Jungkook-ah wouldn’t either.”
“Exactly!”
“Yes!” Jimin nodded quickly in agreement, Taehyung sounding off encouragingly, and Yoongi couldn’t help but grit out a small smile at them, wanting to show his appreciation for their support. It didn’t mean that he didn’t feel like crying, because he did . He hardly ever cried, and he didn’t think he would now, but his nose was twitching and there was a lump at the back of his throat, and he needed to take in a few deep breaths before he was able to say anything.
“I just meant that—I mean I wish I could…Open up more easily,” Yoongi cringed saying that, because he hated how cheesy that sounded, but it was true. Jimin tentatively touched his wrist, and Yoongi instantly uncurled his finger. Jimin made a happy humming sound as he took his hand, Hoseok giving Yoongi’s other hand a squeeze. Taehyung was petting Yeontan again, but they were both huddled close to Yoongi’s legs. “And I wish…I wish I knew how to make Jungkook-ah feel better,” he added quietly and that was when Taehyung reached out to touch his knee gently.
“He’s just scared, hyung,” Taehyung murmured. “He really likes you…He’s been really open about it for a long time and you never really showed him much interest in him—kinda the opposite, really.” The grimace of a smile that Yoongi had been putting on completely fell off his face. He knew he hadn’t always been the kindest to Jungkook. “He’s just scared,” Taehyung repeated.
“He said that I reminded him of his father,” Yoongi muttered as he stared down at Taehyung’s polished nails contrasting with his dark jeans. There was quiet for a moment before Jimin spoke up.
“He’s been pushed aside a lot, hyung,” Jimin’s voice was soft and careful, just like his hands surrounding Yoongi’s. “He’s been treated like he’s not important, like he’s not to be taken seriously, like he’s not enough by some really important people in his life. The people that are meant to make you feel loved and safe.” Yoongi felt as Jimin shrugged slightly beside him. “It’s why he found a place with all of us so quickly. Me and Taehyungie already showed him more love than his parents ever did, and he trusted everyone because we were all so good to him, made him feel at home.”
“He’s family,” Hoseok said softly.
“We’re his family because his biological family aren’t that nice to him, especially his appa,” Taehyung sighed and Yeontan tipped his head back to lick the underside of Taehyung’s chin, clearly sensing his distress. “It’s not…A good thing you reminded him of him, but it’s not… Permanent . He knows that you’re not his appa. It’s a feeling he associates with his appa, so you just have to—you just have to not do that again.”
“Right,” Yoongi fixed him with a pained look. “Easy as that.”
“I mean…” Taehyung shrugged. “Yeah, we all hurt the people we love sometimes, but we make it up to them. We do better. Keep showing him how important he is to you. He will open up again. Promise.” Yoongi hoped he was right.
Yoongi was still feeling tender when he walked into the record store on Monday. Namjoon was already there, because he was pulling the all day shift while Yoongi was only helping with the busy, middle hours in between—at least, what they considered busy. They were good, they were always good, even when he and Namjoon fought they always made up. But today was the first day that Jungkook would be coming in and picking him up from work and it meant the fact that they were going on dates together was going to be right there , in front of Namjoon. It wasn’t that he wanted to hide it from him, but maybe he was…A bit uncertain about what his reaction was going to be. He was pretty sure that Namjoon and Seokjin both knew, actually, but they hadn’t talked about it. He wasn’t sure how he was going to feel if Namjoon brought it up, or how he’d respond if Namjoon was upset about it.
Namjoon approached the topic with the subtlety of a bull in a china shop, and honestly, Yoongi was glad. It felt normal.
“It sounds like Jungkook-ah is enjoying your dates,” Namjoon said carefully, and he sounded as tentative as Yoongi felt as he looked up from the magazine he had been flicking through. He was guessing it was probably Seokjin who had prompted Namjoon to say something.
“Yeah…I am too,” Yoongi’s tone was just as careful as Namjoon's was, but it was genuine. Namjoon nodded, sucking his lower lip into his mouth and tapping two fingers against the counter top.
“I didn’t know you liked him like that,” Namjoon almost abruptly blurted out, and it looked as though he regretted it, but he didn’t take it back. Instead, he surprised Yoongi again. “Hyung knew, though.” Yoongi’s head jerked up to look at Namjoon, who just shrugged. “You know he just knows these things sometimes.”
“Yeah…” Yoongi exhaled shakily, feeling strangely exposed and vulnerable for the second time in just a handful of days. “He just knows these things sometimes,” he echoed back, because that’s exactly what Seokjin was like. It was understandable that Namjoon was hesitant, he was looking out for Jungkook. “I like him,” Yoongi said, folding the magazine closed, his chin jutting forward. “I really like him.”
“...Yeah?” Namjoon asked after a beat.
“Yeah,” Yoongi nodded firmly. “I don’t know when…I don’t even know when it started but—it was a while ago, I know that. I just didn’t think it would go anywhere, I didn’t think it was something that could be serious and so I just—I just always shut it out. Just didn’t think about it.” Namjoon watched him with much more of an open expression now as Yoongi inhaled through his nose and pursed his lips. “I thought that we couldn’t work because we seemed really different, and it—honestly it just didn’t seem like an option. I thought he was too young—I still worry about that—and that we do want different things? We need to…We would need to talk about it if we—if we became more .”
“And do you want to do that? Be more? Do more? With Jungkook-ah?” Namjoon asked, and Yoongi felt heat rush through him, his cheeks burning red hot. He cleared his throat and his lips twitched at the thought of Jungkook.
“Yeah, I think I do,” Yoongi paused before shaking his head. “No, I know I do, it’s just—I think there was a lot I didn’t see in him.” Namjoon arched an eyebrow at him and Yoongi huffed under his breath before rolling his eyes. “Yeah, I know, I didn’t let myself see those things, but…I want to. I will ,” he corrected and Namjoon’s face smoothed out.
“That’s good,” he said quietly and Yoongi felt a part of him unlock in his chest, helping him to breathe easier, knowing that he and Namjoon were back on the same page. It always made him feel more settled. “I was worried….I didn’t really think that you—well, I was worried that maybe you asked him out to make up for what happened.” Yoongi’s eyes widened and Namjoon cringed. “It was only a brief thought! I didn’t think—I…Yeah,” Namjoon wrinkled his nose. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay,” Yoongi wrinkled his nose in solidarity. It had honestly been a tumultuous past couple of weeks—over a month now, really. Ever since the incident with Jungkook right here in the record store. “I wouldn’t—I could never—”
“I know—a really stupid thought,” Namjoon nodded quickly and there was an awkward moment of silence before Yoongi let out a stiff laugh.
“I really like him,” he exhaled heavily and shook his head. “I really like him, Namjoon-ah, and I knew I liked him before and I knew I would just like him more if I spent time with him and I do . So much ,” Yoongi knew he was starting to ramble but he couldn’t help himself. All the words were tumbling out of him and he didn’t notice Namjoon’s eyes getting bigger. “I fucking hate that I hurt him that day, and that I probably hurt him before then, and I just—I really wish I hadn’t snapped at him that day. It’s still—it’s still there. I apologized, but the hurt is still there , and I wish I could make it better, make him realize how fucking special he is to me.” Namjoon’s eyebrows had disappeared under his fringe and his eyes were flicking over Yoongi’s shoulder and Yoongi finally realized that his friend was actually looking past him, behind him, and he turned around.
Jungkook.
Here to pick Yoongi up for their date.
And he was staring over at Yoongi with an open expression and stars in his eyes—for the first time in weeks, he was looking at Yoongi like that again.
Yoongi didn’t realize how much he’d missed it as it made his heart lurch.
It almost made him forget what he’d just said.
“ Ah… ” Yoongi knew his face was getting red and he could already feel himself getting a little sticky-sweaty with nervousness under his sweater. “Well…”
“Were you ready for our date, Yoongi-hyung?” Jungkook asked with a warm smile, holding out his hand toward Yoongi, fingers spread and waiting expectantly, easily smoothing over any awkwardness. Yoongi looked down at his outstretched hand, warmth pulsing inside him at the idea of holding Jungkook’s hand, and at the fact it had been Jungkook who had reached out first.
“Well, he’s actually not meant to finish for another twenty minutes,” Namjoon piped up teasingly from behind them. “But you can have him now, Jungkook-ah,” he acquiesced, and Jungkook grinned widely, wiggling his fingers in a hello wave. Yoongi took his other hand, and the dry, warm palm that pressed against his was the most comforting sensation he’d experienced in months.
When they left the store, Yoongi’s brain was scrambled, trying to remember what plans he’d made for them, still trying to process everything that had just happened while internally jumping for joy over the fact that Jungkook’s hand was in his. But as they walked down the busy street toward where Jungkook’s car was parked, the younger one spoke up.
“Did you have us booked somewhere, hyung? Or…Can we go somewhere else?”
“We can go wherever you want, Jungkook-ah,” Yoongi responded without a second thought. Jungkook smiled across at him before they reached the car and he was unlocking the passenger door for Yoongi first. Yoongi didn’t pay much attention to where they were going, too busy thinking about what Jungkook had overheard in the store. Despite the way he had felt going into work, he now felt as though there was an energy buzzing under his skin and he couldn’t help the way his fingers kept twitching against his knee, one hand still feeling the phantom-warmth of Jungkook’s hand.
He took them to the Han River, which surprised Yoongi but then also made a lot of sense. Namjoon often chose a bike ride or a picnic at the Han River when it was his turn to speak up about an activity, and Jungkook had always been vocal about how he liked being by the water, how it reminded him of where he grew up. They all enjoyed it—the seven of them came here quite often, he was pretty sure the first time all seven of them came together with Jungkook this was where they had come.
They walked in quiet for a while, but it wasn’t an uncomfortable silence. There was a tension between them that kept their bodies close together even though they weren’t touching, both of them clearly with something to say but holding back. Yoongi wasn’t sure if they were waiting for the other to start, but after a few more minutes passed by, he couldn’t help himself, breaking the silence.
“I don’t know—I’m not sure how much you heard back there,” Yoongi began, and he pointedly made sure he wasn’t looking in Jungkook’s direction. “But—I’m glad you heard, because I meant every word of it.” He thought he heard a sound from Jungkook, but he kept going, wanting to get everything out. “I really hate that I snapped at you, but I think what I hate the most is that I can’t promise that I won’t hurt you again. I know it’s not the first time I probably hurt your feelings—you said that you’d notice me pulling away before or not—not expressing myself well. I never wanted to hurt you, I just—it takes me a while to open up and become comfortable with people. And I hate that I won’t mean to be rude or an asshole, and I’m going to try really hard not to, but—but I’m not perfect and I know it’ll happen—”
“Hyung—” Jungkook attempted to interrupt but Yoongi kept going, walking a little faster, knowing that Jungkook’s long legs could definitely keep up.
“And I just need you to know that hyung will try to do everything he can to make you happy,” he knew he was blushing and he swallowed hard. “I like you. A stupid amount.”
“I like you too, hyung,” Jungkook was finally able to get a word in and he was suddenly huddled up beside Yoongi, curling his hand into the crook of Yoongi’s elbow. “A stupider amount.” Yoongi snorted under his breath, his smile widening.
They walked on for a while longer, mainly in quiet, but occasionally Jungkook would see or hear something that would set him off on a tangent that made Yoongi happy. It had been a while since Jungkook had chattered so easily around him, and it was noise that he had missed so much—he hadn’t realized how lucky he had been to listen to it before and he wasn’t going to take it for granted now.
Yoongi brought them both hweori gamja—and then promptly went back and got a second one for Jungkook when he saw how quickly the potato was disappearing. Jungkook gave him a bashful smile before accepting it from Yoongi and happily devouring that one too. By the time they got back to Jungkook’s car, Jungkook had giggled more than a handful of times and Yoongi had been treated to that gorgeous bunny smile again. It made him warm inside.
“Thank you for telling me everything you did today,” Jungkook said quietly when he pulled up outside Yoongi’s building. “I really appreciated it.” It was kind of ridiculous how Yoongi had thought that Jungkook wouldn’t be serious enough, mature enough for a relationship, because even though Jungkook was playful and joked around, he always seemed to know when he really needed to be serious.
“Of course,” Yoongi’s cheeks were red as he briefly thought about the things that had been blurted out today. “I…Of course,” he exhaled slowly before releasing the buckle of his belt. “Thank you for letting me see your bunny smile again.”
“ Oh !” It was Jungkook’s turn to start blushing and he looked down at where his hands were gripping the steering wheel. “Yeah, I…”
“I love your bunny smile,” Yoongi said, a little impulsively, before reaching for the handle of the door. “Drive safely, Jungkook-ah, let hyung know when you get home.” Jungkook nodded and he glanced into his rearview mirror, obviously aware that he couldn’t idle there for much longer, before he was reaching across the centre console and brushing a whisper-soft kiss against Yoongi’s cheek.
“Good night, hyung.”
Yoongi was still smiling like an idiot when he opened the door of his apartment, his fingertips coming up to touch his cheek. His eyes drifted over to the bookshelf, where he had put the shell Jungkook had given him a while ago, and where he had recently also put the vase that he had painted with Jungkook on their first date.
It had been a good day.
Jungkook started holding Yoongi’s hand more frequently almost immediately after their date by the Han River, and Yoongi loved every minute of it. Jungkook had a habit of rubbing his thumb over Yoongi’s knuckles in a way that settled the anxious buzzing in his head and made a pleasant tingle settle over his skin. He started chattering more again, and he seemed to have fallen into the habit of squeezing Yoongi’s hand or singing out Yoongi’s name in a certain way that drew his attention whenever there was something he specifically wanted Yoongi to hear or respond to. Yoongi appreciated it—he loved it, actually—the way Jungkook didn’t take offence to the way that Yoongi would zone out, Jungkook’s pretty voice lulling him into a peaceful place. Yoongi asked to kiss him for the first time after they had gone bowling where Jungkook had cheered and picked Yoongi up into the air and spun him around when he’d won. The kiss was just a short, close-mouthed one, quicker than Yoongi had been expecting, one of Jungkook’s hands cupping Yoongi’s face gently.
“Lemme take you somewhere I can kiss you properly?” Jungkook had asked softly and Yoongi had been speechless as he’d nodded rapidly. It turned out that they only made it to Jungkook’s car in the underground parking lot, Jungkook broad and strong as he had crowded Yoongi against his car and trapped him there with his hands on either side. Yoongi loved how small and safe Jungkook made him feel, easily letting himself be manhandled a little.
His head was absolutely spinning when Jungkook dropped him off that afternoon, touching his swollen lips and smiling giddily.
Jungkook also started being more flirty in front of their friends again too, picking up food for Yoongi and insisting on sitting next to him—just like he used to. Yoongi adored it, because it wasn’t just in front of their close friends, it was in front of anyone, whether it was an event with more of an extended friend group or around his basketball friends. The way that Jungkook always made sure to wave at him when Yoongi came to his practices and games made him feel important in a silly way that he was glad he wasn’t trying to deprive himself of anymore.
He knew what it was—the swarm of butterflies that had been released inside of him when he’d opened his heart to Jungkook.
He was falling in love.
And Yoongi knew that before they made things official, he would need to have a talk— they would need to have a talk. Every time Yoongi’s mind drifted toward the future, there was a catch in his throat as he hoped that he and Jungkook were on the same page, even though they were a few years apart. It was late one night when they were laying half naked in Jungkook’s bed and watching Iron Man , that Jungkook actually brought things up first. It was so nonchalant as Jungkook had gently pressed a segment of tangerine between Yoongi’s lips and asked him where he wanted to be in ten years time.
Yoongi had nearly choked.
He’d never had a partner who had initiated this kind of conversation—especially when he’d been Jungkook’s age.
Jungkook hadn’t pressured him, taking the lead in the conversation, pausing every so often when he got distracted by the movie, his hands always in contact with Yoongi, rubbing his feet, massaging his calves, his touch calming. Yoongi couldn’t help but stare at Jungkook as he’d spoken, at the way the lights on the TV danced on his face in the dark room. He could tell that Jungkook was nervous from the little things—the fact that Jungkook was completely avoiding looking at his face, the way his tongue kept flicking out over his lower lip, how his hands shook ever so often where they were touching Yoongi’s skin—but he kept speaking. Yoongi’s heart was thudding so loud in his chest that it was a miracle Jungkook couldn’t hear it over Tony Stark’s exploits.
“I wanna get married…I really want a dog…You know how I take photos? I think I want to do that properly… I hope I get on with my partners family…I just want a job where I’m happy, not like my parents…Ithink it would be cool to go to America with friends and have a Vegas wedding…Maybe it sounds selfish, but I hope I find my person when I’m young, I want to grow with them, not just grow old with them.”
Yoongi had felt horrible when he hadn’t been able to say anything for so long, choked up and all too aware he would never make sense if he spoke. And Jungkook seemed to sense how overwhelmed he was feeling and tugged him in close for a hug. It never felt suffocating, Jungkook’s touch, not like so many others, even people he really cared about. Jungkook shifted the conversation to lighter topics, mentioning that he wanted more tattoos, he wanted more than one dog and maybe a cat, and he wanted to get more plants to decorate his place because ‘Namjoonie-hyungs home is so pretty with all of them’. He said that he was happy getting his degree in Sports Physiotherapy, the ‘something smart’ that his parents had wanted him to do, but that he knew it wouldn’t be forever. Maybe when he was older, he could try something else, he’d only be in his thirties then.
Yoongi loved Jungkook’s outlook, and he couldn’t stop thinking about the way Jungkook’s grip around his ankles had tightened when he’d mentioned meeting someone when he was young, growing with them. Jungkook had already taught him a lot…Growing further with him sounded like maybe one of the loveliest way to spend his time.
He was also pretty sure Jungkook would be an amazing pet parent.
Sometimes Yoongi wondered why Jungkook’s boundless energy didn’t feel overwhelming even though it would if it was anyone else. But he was pretty sure it was because of some changes on both their parts. A change of mindset when it came to Yoongi, and a bit more understanding of Yoongi’s boundaries when it came to Jungkook. Maybe, though, it was also because they had more in common than Yoongi had originally suspected, and even though Jungkook could be loud enough to fill a room, it was generally only with people he was really comfortable with. He was better at putting on a face when they were in crowds, but Yoongi soon picked up that Jungkook didn’t particularly like being sociable with big groups for very long.
Seokjin couldn’t be more obvious about how pleased he was when he looked at the couple, and Yoongi’s relationship with Taehyung and Jimin was better than it had ever been. It was after a night at Seokjin and Namjoon’s place that Yoongi decided to officially ask Jungkook to be his boyfriend. They had spent most of the night speaking only with Namjoon and Seokjin because Hoseok, Jimin and Taehyung could barely drag their attention away from each other. Yoongi wouldn’t be surprised if he blinked one day and then found out Hoseok was moving in with the pair of them. He mentioned it to Jungkook as they were walking up to his apartment, Jungkook grinning as he hugged Yoongi from behind with his chin tucked over his shoulder.
“They would want that, I bet they do,” Jungkook agreed happily as he bounced into the apartment once Yoongi had unlocked the door, somehow still with some energy in his tank. Just like always, the first thing he did when he walked into the lounge and took off his shoes, he approached the bookshelf by the window and gently touched the shell, next to the Yoongi’s painted vase Yoongi. “They’ve liked him for ages, they’re soooooo cute when they’re talking about him—”
“Will you be my partner? O-officially?” Yoongi stuttered as he interrupted, Jungkook turning around to face him with a wide-eyed look. Silence stretched between them for a moment and Yoongi was about to clear his throat and shift from foot-to-foot when Jungkook spoke up.
“I thought you were already my boyfriend,” he was pouting a little and it was adorable. Yoongi blinked at him before stepping closer.
“Oh…Really?” Yoongi paused before giving him a lopsided smile. “When’s our anniversary then, Bun?” He asked and he saw the slight pinkness on Jungkook’s cheeks at the nickname he’d been using more and more often.
“Oh, I…” Jungkook paused, clearly taken off guard by the question before pursing his lips. “I dunno—a month ago?” He shrugged and smiled shyly down at his feet. “I just really wanna be your boyfriend.” Yoongi’s smile was endeared and he reached out to link his fingers together with Jungkook’s.
“Then be my boyfriend,” he whispered as he reached up on his tiptoes to bump his forehead against Jungkook’s cheek. “Please?”
“Yeah, Yoongi-hyung, I will,” Jungkook was grinning as he leaned forward and brushed his lips against Yoongi’s.
It wasn’t the first time they had fallen into bed together—there had been quite a few nights that Jungkook had spent at Yoongi’s, and they were slowly learning each others bodies. It still felt different this time, when Jungkook backed up toward Yoongi’s bed, his hands cupping Yoongi’s elbows to gently pull him closer. There was something that was crackling in the air, an electricity that was sparking at every point of contact, something that was making Yoongi’s whole body melt at every kiss Jungkook gave him.
“I…Hyung?” Jungkook had stripped them both of their clothes and Yoongi was shuddering as Jungkook’s fingers swept over his torso, avoiding his nipples before tickling lightly at his side, his touches overwhelming in the best way. “I need to tell you something, hyung, and I just want you to listen and not say anything, okay?” Jungkook dropped kisses to the bridge of Yoongi’s nose, to his cheek and forehead, while still scratching his fingers lightly up his stomach and leaving goosebumps behind. “I love you. I love you a lot.” Yoongi sucked in a sharp breath as he stared up at Jungkook, surprise all over his face and his body frozen suddenly. “Please don’t reply!” Jungkook’s eyes looked a little panicked. “I want you to—but I just—I mean I only want you to say it when you want to say it— if you want to. I just—I’ve known for a long time and I really needed to tell you.”
They were both still and silent for a long few moments before Yoongi lifted his head off the pillow and bumped his nose against Jungkook’s.
“Kiss me?” Yoongi requested softly and Jungkook huffed out a breath before leaning in for a kiss. “I’ll tell you,” Yoongi mumbled when they were so close that he couldn’t make out Jungkook’s expression. “I’ll tell you when I’m ready, I promise.” Jungkook pressed two more kisses against Yoongi’s lips, hurried and excited as he pulled back so he could look at him properly, a small smile on his pretty mouth.
“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable! Please don’t force yourself! I just…Needed to tell you because the feeling is so big in my chest that I had to let it out,” Jungkook looked so sweet and genuine and was leaning to to press more kisses to his nose and temple. Despite the fact they were both naked, it felt so innocent and lovely. It was incredible the things that Jungkook made him feel as he floated somewhere above the bed as he let Jungkook cover him in kisses.
“I’m not…Not just saying that,” Yoongi managed to get out. “I promise—Jungkook-ah, I promise…” he needed Jungkook to understand how much he meant it, how lucky he knew he was to be the one to hear those words from the boy, to know that Yoongi had never used those words before but he already knew that one day soon he would be uttering them to Jungkook.
“Okay, hyung,” Jungkook whispered as his fingers curled around Yoongi’s hip. Jungkook seemed to decide that they were done with talking and his mouth covered Yoongi’s as he gathered him in close. Neither of them were as hard as they had been when they had first gotten naked, but it didn’t take long before arousal rushed through them both again, warming their skin.
Yoongi couldn’t help the way he whined and arched his back off the bed to try and get closer to Jungkook. The way that Jungkook made him feel so safe and warm also made him feel shameless, something he’d realized after only the second time they’d gotten into bed together. Jungkook wasn’t inexperienced but he still fumbled a little in a sweet way that Yoongi had found surprising and endearing. The way that Jungkook’s eyes darkened as though Yoongi was the best thing he had ever laid them on and his eagerness to please made up for any lack of knowledge.
Their bodies rolled together, Yoongi curling a leg around Jungkook’s hip, and Jungkook’s big hands burned all over him as they groped at his ass and swept up his back. When they came, it was with heavy exhales of air and a pleased hum from Yoongi as they collapsed against the bed. It was a sticky clean up in the dark that both of them huffed about a little before Jungkook was rolling over and tugging Yoongi to spoon him.
Yoongi fell asleep with his nose buried in Jungkook’s hair, and his confession from earlier playing over and over in his head.
When Yoongi woke up the next morning, there was still a sleeping Jungkook in his arms, even though a lot of the time Jungkook got up earlier than him. It took him a few minutes to remember what had been said the night before. There was a tight feeling in his chest that followed the initial rush of warmth, wondering if anything was going to change in their relationship, given Jungkook’s confession and Yoongi’s lack of reciprocation.
He really needed to stop underestimating Jungkook.
He really needed to stop underestimating himself and his decision to trust Jungkook.
Weeks went by and Jungkook never said those words again, never mentioned what he’d said that night. They told their friends about officially being boyfriends, but there hadn’t been any mention of the further milestone. Jungkook kept dropping by his store and bringing him boba and ramen when he knew Yoongi hadn’t eaten, and Yoongi made sure he went to as many basketball practices and games as possible, usually with Jimin. It was in the second week after Jungkook’s admission that Yoongi realized why nothing had changed—because Jungkook had already been showing him that he loved Yoongi this whole time. In the way that he stared at Yoongi as though he hung the stars, the way he was always ready to drop anything at a moments notice when Yoongi needed help, the way he treated Yoongi as though he was something to be treasured.
It was Jimin who heard Yoongi say it first, not something that he had planned. It was when they were watching one of Jungkook’s practices, watching as he joked around with Chan and Felix, and then later with Kang Taehyun, one of the youngest members of the team who very clearly idolized Jungkook. He looked over at Yoongi, throwing back his slightly sweaty-damp hair, and he winked.
He fucking winked.
It was cliche and ridiculously attractive and it made Jungkook look so boyishly handsome that it stole Yoongi’s breath away.
“Ai, I love him,” Yoongi exhaled and Jimin sucked in a sharp breath beside him, almost choking as he stared at Yoongui. Yoongi’s eyes were wide as he turned to look at Jimin, and Jimin’s face was just as surprised before he suddenly broke out in a wide grin.
“Yeah?” Jimin asked and Yoongi laughed giddily.
“Yeah,” he confirmed.
Jungkook looked so good—he always looked good, but when he put product in his hair and wore something sheer and chose out some makeup to wear, it just highlighted his pretty features even more. Yoongi’s breath caught in his chest when he spotted Jungkook in the kitchen when he arrived with Hoseok at Seokjin and Namjoon’s apartment. Hoseok was already distracted, searching out Jimin and Taehyung as he touched Yoongi’s elbow to make sure he was okay before he was leaving Yoongi on his own. Yoongi didn’t mind, even though he had never been a fan of big crowds, but he had a clear target in mind and that made everything easier to handle.
Especially when Jungkook looked up from the drink he was making and his eyes landed on Yoongi, and his face so visibly lit up that Yoongi couldn’t help the wide, gummy smile that spread across his face.
“ Hyung ,” Jungkook exhaled as he put down his cup and then reached out both hands for Yoongi. There were people around that Yoongi didn’t know, and a few months ago he would have absolutely hated the public display of affection, but now he had no problem with Jungkook tugging him into his arms and leaning forward to press a firm kiss against his mouth. When he straightened back up, his eyes were open again and staring back at Yoongi again. “Shit, did Hoseok-hyung do your make up?”
“Yeah,” Yoongi felt a little shy as he lifted his hand to touch his cheek self-consciously, but Jungkook’s hands intercepted his, fingers twining together with his and tugging them away. “Is it too much?”
“ No , it’s fucking gorgeous!” Jungkook replied adamantly, a little loudly, clearly already a few drinks in. “You always look so pretty, hyung, just look more glittery now.” And Yoongi knew that ridiculous smile was back, and his cheeks were red under the powder that Hoseok had put there, but he didn’t care. Jungkook gave him another kiss, this one on the cheek, before he was turning around to find another cup, making a drink for Yoongi as well before taking his hand and the pair of them walking out into the lounge.
There were a lot of people there—most of them that Yoongi knew to some extent, most of them were only acquaintances though, friends with Seokjin and some of Namjoon’s. It was fun, for the first hour and a half, and then it all just became very loud and crowded. They had been talking with Jimin in the corner with Namjoon’s bookshelves before Yoongi had elected to go and get them another round of drinks, and when he had returned, Jungkook wasn’t there. Jimin said that Jungkook had gone to the bathroom, and then Lee Taemin and Cha Eunwoo joined them and were speaking loudly with Jimin, and Yoongi felt his social battery draining quickly. Jungkook still wasn’t back after ten minutes, Yoongi had been checking his phone about every minute to see how long until it was acceptable for him to excuse himself, and he decided to after the ten minute mark. The bathroom was empty, though, and Yoongi frowned as he looked down at his phone, sending off a quick message as he pushed open the door for Namjoon and Seokjin’s spare bedroom.
Jungkook looked up with a slightly guilty expression from where he was sitting cross-legged on the bed, his phone vibrating in his hands as Yoongi’s message arrived.
“Jungkook-ah,” Yoongi greeted him, trying to suppress his smile. Jungkook had clearly been trying to escape the party, which…Yoongi related to on a very, deep personal level. It was funny, because Jungkook came off as incredibly extroverted, and he was a lot better with people than Yoongi was, but he was surprisingly introverted, complementing Yoongi well.
“Yoongi-hyung,” Jungkook chewed down on his bottom lip, the corner of his mouth trying not to pull up in a smile. “Sorry, I didn’t realize how long I’d been away…”
“What’re you doing?” Yoongi asked as he stepped into the room and closed the door behind him. Jungkook peeked down at his phone before looking back up at Yoongi with a guilty smile.
“Watching Youtube,” he replied.
“Sounds better than what’s happening out there,” Yoongi jerked his thumb over his shoulder and Jungkook grinned before pursing his lips together in thought.
“I mean…I’m pretty sure Seokjin-hyung will be distracted. He probably won’t notice if we slip out…” Jungkook trailed off, looking over at Yoongi with a cheeky expression. Yoongi couldn’t help the way a grin broke out across his face, fondness swelling inside of him, at the way Jungkook understood him so well, at the way he felt so excited to sneak away with Jungkook and maybe get some late night ramen and then curl up and watch the latest episode of Running Man. It sounded like the perfect way to end a Saturday night, and it wouldn’t be perfect without Jungkook, he knew that.
“Fuck, I love you,” the words were out before he had even thought about them, but he didn’t regret them. Jungkook’s expression sobered up completely, looking comically shocked with his lips parting before he was blinking.
“Yeah?” His voice came out a little breathless. “You love me, hyung?” He asked, and he sounded so hopeful that Yoongi almost kicked himself for not saying it sooner. But he knew now was the right time, the right time for both of them .
“I love you, Jungkook-ah,” he repeated and a moment later, Jungkook was tackling him against the door. Yoongi let out a muffled shout, but even at Jungkook’s energetic reaction, he was careful with Yoongi, arms blocking him from hitting the door, one hand curving up to cradle the back of Yoongi’s head, before their lips were pressing together.
“I love you,” Jungkook breathed against his mouth. “I love you, I love you, I love you.” The words were spilling out of Jungkook as though he had been holding them back for so long that it was impossible to stop them. There had only been a handful of people that Yoongi had ever said those words to, and they had never been a romantic partner, but they came out again, so easy now that he’d finally admitted it out loud.
“I love you too, Jungkook-ah,” he managed to say in between kisses, Jungkook’s movements almost frantic. “I love you so much.” There was a shuddery sound from Jungkook as he finally pulled back, dropping his head against Yoongi’s shoulder, arms still wrapped around him and holding him close. Yoongi smiled, holding Jungkook back, stroking one hand gently up and down Jungkook’s spine. A few minutes later, he spoke again. “Want to go home now, Bun? Hyung will buy us some meat.”
“And can we watch Running Man ?” Jungkook asked softly and Yoongi grinned at how he’d already been thinking the same thing.
“Of course.”
When Yoongi woke up in the morning, he was alone in bed. That wasn’t unusual, even in the weekends Jungkook would get up early most days and go for a run. He was always quiet when slipping out of bed, careful not to wake Yoongi while bundling the blankets back around him and sneaking out of the room, and Yoongi appreciated it, loved the way Jungkook was so caring and thoughtful. He also liked the way it gave him the space to wake up the way he wanted to, slowly and of his own accord, although the smell of coffee that was wafting down the hallway now was definitely encouraging him to get out of bed faster. It was only once he’d gotten to his feet and was reaching for an oversized shirt that belonged to Jungkook that he remembered what had been said last night.
I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you .
Yoongi nearly tripped over his own feet trying to scramble into a pair of sweatpants and then leaving the room, beelining toward the kitchen before coming to an abrupt halt when his eyes landed on the shelf in front of the big window in his lounge.
His vase, the shell that Jungkook gave him, and Jungkook’s vase .
He had been right, they did look pretty together.
He was still staring at the way the items looked together, swathed in the morning sun that was pouring through the window, when Jungkook seemed to notice him. He grinned from the kitchen table, getting up and grabbing a mug from the bench, pouring some of the freshly brewed coffee into it before coming over to join Yoongi.
“Here you go, hyung,” Jungkook murmured, passing over the coffee before kissing Yoongi’s cheek. Yoongi smiled his thanks, taking a sip from the coffee, unsurprised but incredibly pleased when he noted Jungkook made it exactly the way he liked it.
“When did you bring your vase here?” Yoongi asked and Jungkook looked a little sheepish.
“A while ago…I just wanted to wait until the right moment,” he admitted and Yoongi grinned.
“You managed to hide it somewhere in here without me noticing?” He asked and Jungkook stared at him for a moment before sighing dramatically.
“Hyung, all I had to do was put it on one of the top shelves. I knew you’d never find it,” he replied and Yoongi let out a squawk.
“Yah—the cheek .” Jungkook just grinned. Yoongi took another sip of coffee before he was exhaling. “Did you want to come with me to the animal shelter?” He asked and Jungkook’s eyes widened with surprise. “I…I’ve been thinking about adopting a cat. I know you want a dog, but our apartments are both way too small for that, so…I was wondering if you wanted to come with me to look for a cat.”
“A cat?” Jungkook’s face was glowing. “ Our cat?” And Yoongi’s heart swelled.
“Yeah, Bun, our cat,” he answered, and he liked the sound of that.
Jungkook seemed to as well, judging by the way he snatched the mug of coffee away from Yoongi to discard on a side table and picked him up easily.
“Let’s go,” Jungkook bounced excitedly and Yoongi laughed as he was jostled in Jungkook’s arms, not minding one bit. He leaned in, one hand cupping Jungkook’s cheek as he left a soft, close-mouthed kiss to Jungkook’s lips.
Yeah, he was pretty much ready to go anywhere with Jungkook.