Chapter Text
Luca hated walking. It was exhausting, made him sweaty, took days to get anywhere. Not to say he liked horses--they were big, smelly beasts who shit too large for their own good and would rather toss themselves off a cliff than cross a bridge. Carriages! Now they were proper transportation, what with their benches and plush cushions and roofing.
The King, however, hadn't given him a carriage. Or a horse. Or so much as a better pair of boots.
In fact the only things Luca had been given by King Hadrian Eddlestad III were a besieged expression and a stern command to find out what had become of the latest Knight Paladin.
"I mean," Luca had said while idly strumming his lute, sprawled sideways on a trestle bench. "You sent him into the Briarback Mountains to kill the dark fae who has plunged the land into eternal night. Poor sod's probably dead."
Hadrian had been unimpressed with this assessment. "If our Knight Paladin has fallen, then we must know of it! Songs must be sung! Maidens must rend their hair! I can think of no one more trustworthy to bring us back the tale than you, fair bard," the king had exclaimed.
"Me? Shouldn't you send, I don't know, another knight with one of them long pigstickers?"
"You'll just have to succeed with...whatever you have that isn't brawn."
Trudging along the road between fields of stunted crops, Luca grumbled to himself. Why this Knight Paladin was any different from the rest was a mystery. The kingdom went through Knight Paladins like handkerchiefs at a sad play. They had a veritable assembly line of them in training at any given time, each popping out polished and shiny in their new armor and significant muscles and severe lack of imagination. Luca hadn't troubled himself with them much; they were an irritatingly chaste lot. Had purity rings on their dongers and everything. The most he knew of the last one was that his name was Liam, he had blue eyes, and his hair had gone prematurely storm cloud silver.
Sad, losing that one, Luca thought wistfully. Liam had been the classical handsome a knight of any stripe ought to be and he'd lacked the empty-headed look of a man needing to choose whether to operate his brain or his pectorals. Luca took up his lute and strummed a few chords. A cat yowled somewhere nearby. Yes, awful losing such promising vigor to such an evil--badly dressed and crotchety evil, no less, if the stories were to be believed. The more he thought on it, the more it seemed ripe material for a lament that would last through the ages. An opus!
Luca strummed again, this time singing, "A crow with blackest feathers be! A beautiful knight he killed with glee!"
The sad crops wilted further as he passed, depressed.
Luca was not an intelligent sort or the type to exert himself, but he was stubborn and drama attracted him like a pithy moth to a flame. The thought of what juicy intelligence he could gather for a properly morose song carried him through the next few days of travelling from inn to inn under the forever starry sky. At the end of the fourth day, the Briarback mountains rose before him, no longer hazy smudges in the distance.
The first ten minutes of climbing nearly undid him. Why would anyone choose being outdoors? There were insects and poison ivy and whatever those beady little eyes watching him from the scrub trees were. Fuck those in particular, he thought, wheezing his way up the incline.
Despite Luca's incompetence, the path up the mountain was surprisingly well-worn considering the amount of knight paladins traipsing their way up there. Trees were marked, small cairns erected. Even a thin bridge over a stream fashioned out of fallen timber. Luca took no notice of these fortunes. He was single-minded about being miserable.
After a harrowing climb up a rock face, all further evidence of a path disappeared amongst the rocks, thorns, and scrubby trees. The artfully arranged skulls and illuminated 'No Soliciting' sign were no great help, either.
Luca collapsed into the dirt like a failed state and made a sound at the sky like a dying sealion. He'd come this far only to lose now! His life's work lost! All hopes of an opus dashed against an uncaring cliff by the waters of fate! He might perish on the spot from heartbreak.
There was a rustling. The briar patch split in two, emitting a small gremlin with his hood up, knapsack across his shoulder. He blinked owlishly.
They stared at each other.
"Erm," said Luca.
"Ah," the gremlin replied.
"So I was--"
"I think you are--"
The gremlin waved a hand quickly behind himself. The thicket of briars snapped shut. "You didn't see nothin'," the gremlin insisted. "I'm off my shift now and there ain't bugger you can do about it."
"Of course, ah--good night for it," Luca said. "Wouldn't dream of--where do you work?"
"On the mountain."
"Okay but where on the mountain?"
"The top. Are you daft?"
Luca made a strangling motion with one hand and let it drop again. "Who is your employer ?"
The gremlin narrowed his cat eyes. "I gave you answers for free but that one'll cost ya. What are you even doing up here, dressed all like that? You a peeping tom?"
"A bard," Luca said, bringing out his lute and strumming a few sour chords. "Baaaard."
The gremlin clapped his hands over his large ears. "Stop the ruckus--gods, that's off! So what'll you give me for my employer?"
Luca thought about it. "A song no one has heard before?"
"Hardly equal."
"A string off my lute?"
"What good would that do me?"
Patting all his pockets, Luca came up with a silver piece. "A silver sester?" He asked.
The gremlin blinked. "Right, then! Can't give you his real name--you couldn't pronounce it anyhow--but he goes by Lord Vex to you human lot."
Luca couldn't remember if anyone had told him the evil fae's name. "Is he the only fae lord on the mountain?" Luca asked.
The gremlin gave him a shrewd look and a cupped palm until Luca gave him another silver. "Signs point to...yes," the gremlin replied. "What's it to you?"
Sighing, Luca regaled him the tale of his lackluster quest to find the last knight paladin sent. "I'm sure he's a bloody smear on the rocks somewhere, but any details you could tell me would be great. The gorier the better."
"Well…"
"Yes?" Luca said excitedly.
"You see."
"Go on, go on."
The gremlin scratched the back of his head. "Rather hard to say, really. Not a thing I could describe to you, what happened there," he said with a troubled look. Then the gremlin drew himself up to his full height of three foot ten and adjusted his knapsack on his shoulder. "Right. I'm off-duty, then. Boss gave most of us the night off. Wouldn't be none of my business if you went through the briar patch, left around the pool, then thrice around the old oak tree. But I will say you owe me a favor, bard." Waving, the gremlin trotted off and was gone.
Luca took the strongly implied hint.
He lost a fair amount of skin and clothing to the briar patch but it eventually let him pass. Left around the pool despite the ribcage stepping stones, then gave himself vertigo jogging around the old oak tree.
An estate sprawled before him where there hadn't been an estate before, dark and thorny as the mountains around it, edged in silver by the moon. Fascinated and without any thought to self-preservation, Luca approached the front gate adorned with obsidian skulls and wicked thorns. "Hello," he called once.
Nothing.
He lifted one of the ornate door knockers which opened no less than six eyes at him and yelled, "BUGGER OFF."
Luca yelped, stumbling a few feet backwards. Alright, not through there, he decided. Brushing himself off, he wandered to one side. Perhaps there was a servant entrance he could go through.
All the windows were dark. Even those in far off parts of the place. Had all the staff really been sent packing? Even if they weren't, did they need lighting in the first place? Maybe the fae lord was stingy with candles and firewood.
At last Luca spied light emanating from the arched windows atop a tower. Vine covered trellises climbed the stonework almost the height of it. Steeling himself for more physical exertion, Luca grabbed hold and began his slow, clumsy ascent.
Halfway to the top Luca heard voices and clung frozen to the vines, heartbeat in his ears.
"Fiend! You may have my body but god has my soul." A slap of flesh being struck, a low moan following. Then a dark laugh that went straight down Luca's spine and gave him the most ardent fear boner of his life.
"Ah, paladin," the dark voice chuckled. "Still clinging to those dear lies of yours. Delicious, really."
Luca's eyes grew wide. Not only was the knight paladin still alive, but he was being tortured. What luck! Creeping higher, Luca peeped over the window sill.
It was not the sort of dungeon he'd been expecting. Sure, there were whips, floggers, chains hanging from the ceiling to one side, but the large, plush bed surrounded by candles and gauzy fabric was decidedly out of place. There wasn't any grime or puddles of water and not a single mean rat.
There were two men on the bed. One the muscular bulk of the missing knight paladin, tied to the headboard with soft leather restraints, his mouth dropped open with wanton moans. The man on top of him was lankier with a wealth of dark hair, fine-featured but not delicate if the way he was fucking the knight was any indication.
Not just torture, then, but corruption .
Luca was going to be in history books. What would he call the song? Lament of The Fallen ? Stolen Innocence ? More titles came in such a flurry, he didn't notice a vine of darkness detach itself from the trellis until it wrapped around his ankle and yanked him free of the lattice work. Luca screamed at his sudden view of the ground and screwed his eyes shut, expecting any moment to plummet to his death.
The vine retracted instead and shoved him through the now open tower window. There it dangled him upside down mere feet from the bed and its busy occupants.
The dark haired man turned his head, scrutinizing Luca with gem red eyes while still plowing the paladin. "You're brave for a peeping tom," he said in that dark voice. His thrusts slowed and he ran his thumb across the paladin's lips. "What shall we do with him?"
The knight's answer was a garbled mess of words. Understanding he wouldn't get a decent answer otherwise, the fae lord stopped his thrusts.
Catching his breath, the knight finally squinted at the bard. "Luca?" He said, incredulous. Not the short of incredulous a person in dire straits used to greet their savior. More like the flummoxed questioning of why a cow had turned purple or how a cat trapped itself in the middle of a pond.
The bard hugged his lute to his chest, flustering, "Put me down!"
"Very well, out the window with you," the fae lord said, waving a dismissive hand. "My regards to the rose bush."
"That's not what I meant!" Luca howled as the vine swept back towards the window. "I'm a very important, handsome man! Worth my weight in ransom!"
The fae lord looked at Liam.
"He's a bard," Liam said.
"A court bard?"
"No, he just wandered in one day then annoyed the chamberlain into letting him stay. I think he stole the lute," Liam explained.
"Ah," said the fae lord.
"I cannot believe --" Luca sputtered as he swayed back and forth in the vine's grip. "The king sent me! Entrusted me with the sacred task of finding you, knight paladin!"
"Yes," the fae lord mused, narrowing his eyes at Luca. "One does wonder how you got in, and what you planned on doing once you did find him."
Luca felt his bravado shrink under the scrutiny of the fae lord's red gaze. "Er, well," he began. "To be honest, I didn't expect to. Well. Find him. Alive."
Liam rolled his eyes.
"I thought to maybe. Bring back. News. Of a sort," Luca cleared his throat, strummed a chord on his lute. A string snapped with a bright doink .
The fae lord pointed to the window. "Out."
Luca wailed as the vine hauled him back towards the window.
"Vex, don't kill him," Liam said, leaning his head up. "He's harmless."
The fae lord glared at Liam. "He knew he was trespassing. I put up signs! Thorns! I should shove a pike up his ass and leave him for the crows," Vex threatened. "I can't let him live. It's bad for my image."
Liam met the fae lord's gaze evenly. He bit his bottom lip, his eyelids lowering a fraction. "Oh please, lord," he murmured low. "Spare him."
Dark lips slackening, Vex's pale cheeks pinked. Then he shook himself, fuming. "Damn you, paladin," he snarled, taking Liam’s face in his hand. "The punishments I have in store for you…"
Luca whimpered as the shadow vines threaded him back out the window, slowly enough he caught sight of Liam’s grin before the window shut and the curtains snapped closed, blocking them from view.
It didn't block the sounds, however. Whatever the dark fae lord was doing to him, Liam sounded deliriously happy about it.
Luca wasn't sure how long he hung there, what with all the blood rushing to his head. He thought he was passing out from it when he realized the shadow vine had lowered him into the yard. He got to his feet, blinking at the impossibly high walls of the castle. The moon was out and he was cold, he realized, turning in a circle to figure out his best course of action. Spying a stable, he scurried into the open door and found one of the stalls without a horse and full of hay. Luca scratched out a rough nest and settled into it, falling asleep almost immediately.