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“My, you smell manly this evening,” the voice spoke just above a whisper as its owner offered Thor the rock crystal dish full of butter patties as if providing Thor with butter for his scone was the only thing he had on his mind.
Thor stood poised with a butter knife thrust into the air and frowned as he froze in place.
Eh? What the hell did that mean?!
The other person gave him a nonchalant, indifferent smile as one might bestow on a servant handing over a needed napkin or on an autumn leaf cartwheeling lazily to the ground, because, as they say, that leaf has reached “The fullness of Time.”
Thor figured that he had several options open to him in response to that statement about his manliness murmured to him so offhandedly over the vichyssoise and salmon pate as the two guys were idly shuffling through the buffet line together.
One. Ignore it and pretend he hadn’t heard it. Which he couldn’t do now since:
a. He had frozen in place with the upraised butter knife in his hand.
b. He had clearly heard something.
c. He could not imply that he was proposing a spontaneous game of “Stiff Statue.”
Two. Respond to the comment with lovesick eyes, drooling tongue and twitching hips. Which he couldn’t do now because:
a. He wasn’t in the mood for love, or at least “that” kind of love.
b. It would clearly change the tone of the tea party.
c. It might shock his mother and twenty-some society dames who were dressed to the teeth with the clear intention of impressing each other.
Three. Just figure it was another jest and was just Loki being Loki again, so nothing to take seriously. Because Loki was currently and very likely:
a. Bored out of his skull by this tedious tea party and white food.
b. Trying to get Thor in trouble with Frigga who was the "hostess with the mostest" at this gala event.
c. Trying to get into Thor’s pants. Or inspire Thor to get into his.
That last one might have been Thor’s wishful thinking, too, now that he thought about it. Or maybe he was just bored himself and climbing someone’s frame might be an interesting diversion about now. And by climbing someone’s frame, he meant literally, not figuratively. Because he wasn’t mad at Loki. At least not yet. That might come also with the fullness of Time, seeing it was Loki who had caused the ripple in time by uttering those words about Thor’s masculine body odor.
Meanwhile, there was also Frigga to be considered, Frigga who was hosting this ladies’ tea that Thor and Loki had gotten sucked into attending simply because the guys had gotten within Frigga's range of vision when she had been seeking beautiful males to dress up her party. Odin had wisely and conveniently disappeared, as if he was smoke on the water or pixie dust dancing on the autumn air to disappear without a trace. That trait of his had probably come from long experience and after some boring occasions when he had not been so lucky or agile.
The brothers both loved Frigga and ordinarily would do anything she asked of them, but she was asking them to stretch their tolerance awfully thin by sweet-talking them into attending any sort of gathering of twittering, tee-heeing silver-haired ladies of a certain age with too much makeup for evening wear, let alone afternoon. That would take a lot of sacrifice for the guys, especially since there had been that wonderful jousting tournament scheduled to take place over in the next town. And the brothers had really wanted to go! But, no, they had promised to attend Frigga’s tea party and to be presentable.
That was why Loki had said what he had, Thor deduced and nearly exclaimed out loud. To comply with Frigga's edict for her sons to be presentable! That meant looking and smelling nice! Ergo, the “manly” smell comment!
Or at least Thor hoped that was what it all meant. Well, he could rise to the occasion, too! He could be pretty high faulting too if he had to be! He could come up with something that sounded as high class as Loki's statement had. He could more than smell manly! He could be manly!
But Thor was not feeling particularly manly at all with what he said next to Loki, because that really wasn't his style. But he would make the attempt since something of that nature must be clearly needed in this situation. “Don’t forget to sample the baby spinach! Really, you must, dear! It sets off the vichyssoise and salmon pate divinely! And it's most tangy! Really, love, try it!” Thor gushed.
Loki stared at him. “Not if the baby spinach gets me to talking that way, I won’t."
“Maybe you can’t blame the baby spinach for that," Thor replied. "Maybe that’s just my natural state.”
"If that's true, you've kept this trait remarkably hidden all these years," Loki informed him as he watched Thor closely for further signs of a suspected brain bleed.
"I'm just trying to keep the illusion going," Thor said sotto-voce as his eyes darted around to see if anyone was watching them. Then he tried letting his wrist go limp for effect, but that only resulted in his almost dropping his plate.
"What's suddenly wrong with your wrist?" asked a puzzled Loki. "Old battle injury acting up on you?"
"I'm just trying to seem refined so that I'll fit in with these ladies!" he hissed.
"Doing that sort of thing will attract the wrong crowd, if you're not careful. And turn off all ages of women from you unless they would want you around for sewing bees or discussing the latest styles out of Paris."
"Hmm?" asked Thor, who had not really been paying attention except for how people were perceiving him.
"Don't go sparkling too much even if you think the occasion calls for it," Loki advised him carefully. "You'll make the stars jealous."
“Well, at least I don’t smell like a boar hog out looking for a likely sow in heat!"
"What are you talking about? Can't you strike a happy medium between those two extremes? Somewhere between scattering fairy dust wherever you step and scratching your nuts in public?"
"You said so yourself," Thor hissed in a hoarse whisper. "You said that I smelled manly.”
Loki looked amused. "Oh, so that's what this is all about, is it? I simply gave you a compliment. I thought it would help set the stage for what we're supposed to be here today for Frigga. It was a reminder not to sound like you’d been out with the boys too long and didn’t remember how to act in civilized circles.”
“You can say something like that?! About me?!”
“I believe I asked first,” Loki mocked in round-lettered words. "And while we're at it, inside voice. We will be disturbing the ladies, and we mustn't do that. We're on their turf. We have to play according to their rules now."
“Why are we even here? In this place? We don't belong here, you and I... do we?” Thor asked in exasperation as he looked around at the elegant, nicely dressed ladies. He looked like he was in bad need of being rescued and a fortifying tankard of mead.
“Philosophers and theologians have been asking that very question for centuries. Why are we here? Why now? And you expect me to come up with a solution extemporaneously when others haven't? Thank you for your faith and belief in what I consider to be my very limited powers, but--”
“Loki, you deliberately twisted my question and made it sound as if I had wanted a deeper interpretation of what I was asking,” Thor warned ominously as his forehead started to form into a unibrow.
“Don’t do that," Loki warned him. "Thinking too hard might be dangerous to your health.”
“That’s two. First the ‘manly smell’ crack and now the snide remark about my mental capacity.”
“You’re getting smarter,” Loki noted with new respect.
“You’re getting sloppier!” Thor snarled.
“And you two are getting louder!” Frigga hissed at them with blazing eyes of her own. “This is not proper discussion matter for a tea party! Either ‘man up’ or shut up!”
“I believe that statement needs an ‘and’ in it, Mother, instead of an ‘or,’” Thor suggested as if he was helping her to compose a letter.
“I cannot possibly expect both behaviors out of you two, it seems!" she informed them with exasperation. "How could I possibly use an 'and' in my sentence?! That would only be wishful thinking on my part!” It was clear to see by the condition of her snapping eyes where Thor had gotten the fire that could burst to flame so easily in his.
And there stood her two sons, both superheroes (although Loki was probably more precisely regarded as an antihero) and fearless in battle, but now reduced to youngsters once more in the presence of their disapproving mother. And Frigga's heart melted. It just melted. She loved these two imps so much! It didn't matter how old they got; they were still her naughty boys pulling pranks and full of mischief all day long. She hoped that whatever happened to them in life, they would never lose their playfulness and their ability to leave their hearts open to them. It would be the greatest legacy that she could leave with them.
“Oh, just get out of here, you two!” she relented with a tolerant smile. “How can I stay angry with two such charmers as you naughty boys are? Besides, we ladies wish to gossip now, and I fear your eyes would harden and calcify in their sockets if you two lingered any longer and listened to our idle chatter.”
“Thanks, Mother,” Thor gushed warmly.
“The queen of all our hearts,” Loki rhapsodized breathlessly with eyes filled with wonder and awe. Then he gallantly planted a fleeting kiss on her dainty hand, and her mother's heart nearly burst out of her chest.
“Oh, get out of here, the both of you!” she scolded with a light laugh and a pushing motion with her bejeweled hands.
Thor and Loki didn’t need to be told again. Thor grabbed Loki, and they practically ran from the stuffy tea party.
“Oh, what a singular blessing! Fresh air!" Loki celebrated with glee out in the grand hallway. "Generally, I don't mind being with the ladies, but today that was just not my cup of tea. Forgive my pun. I suppose I'm being just giddy with excitement. But, phew, how freeing!”
"Now you're sparkling," Thor accused.
"Well, whatever it is, you can release me now so we can go our separate ways once more. It's too late for even the jousting, I fear. So, see you later. I believe I might do some reading now. You might entertain yourself by going out to the barns to see if there are any horses that would like to be tossed about for awhile. That's something that all of you could enjoy."
But Thor had something else on his mind. It had occurred to him as he had been hustling Loki away from the tea party that he liked his arms around Loki's body. It seemed to fit into his arms rather well, as if it belonged there. So when Loki tried to untangle himself from Thor, Thor caught Loki up again and pulled him inside a convenient room.
"What does this all mean?" Loki asked in an unnaturally quiet voice. And no one could tell how his heart was thumping in his chest, or how greatly his body was rejoicing from being in Thor's arms again. Those arms had held him so tightly and so masterfully before! And now they were doing it again! Loki could get very used to being held this way!
“I'm not through with you yet!" Thor informed him with a growl. "What did you mean by liking my manly smell this evening?” he snarled.
“Just that,” Loki answered with knowing eyes as he broke Thor's tight hold and stepped back a little to allow them both more room to breathe. "I believe I've been waiting for that smell for a long, long time. I just didn't know it until I handed you the butter patties," he added softly.
Sometimes it was maddening how quickly Loki could change pace like that. Other times, like now, Thor suddenly realized how convenient it was. It would save a lot of time!
“Are you taunting me or enticing me?!” Thor demanded, itching to yank Loki back against himself again so he could feel all of Loki pressed against himself once more.
“I believe the latter. Enticing,” Loki answered with a simper that went straight to Thor's bursting heart.
"Damnit! Why do you keep pulling out of my embrace?!" Thor snarled, about at the end of his endurance for that tactic.
"So I can feel all of you when you slam yourself back against me again."
Thor's eyes bugged out and his breath stopped. His brain sent out the message to his arms to yank.
But Thor never got the opportunity to act. Because Loki pulled Thor to himself instead.
"Oh, hell, oh, hell," Thor murmured. "And here we are again with you feeling so good in my arms."
"I know. And all of the romantics said it would be heaven. They lied."
"I think we're not to the place yet that they were talking about," Thor murmured as his lips were going over Loki's face and throat with infinite thoroughness.
"Yes, yes, I can see the logic of your deductions," Loki babbled with closed eyes and opened mouth so he could breathe.
Thor stopped his kissing and pressed his forehead against Loki's. His eyes were closed so he could concentrate on stroking his fingers up and down on Loki's soft throat tissues. “How inconvenient not to be near a bedroom,” Thor murmured through the buzz in his head.
“This room has a lock and a sofa," Loki told him breathlessly as he pulled back so he could stare into Thor's eyes. "I believe that is all we really require.... when you think about it.”
Thor started grinning. "Sometimes I don't understand you at all. But right now, you're talking my language!"
"Good," Loki groaned in a voice hard with emotion. "Now see if you can tell me what you're feeling without using words."
Thor threw back his head and roared with laughter.
Loki had just demanded Thor's favorite form of communicating!