Work Text:
Perhaps it was because he lacked sleep the night before due to working overtime, or because he was just a clumsy bastard at seven in the morning. But as he was making himself a lazy cup of coffee that morning, he somehow tripped over nothing and ended up slipping, making a mess of creamer and spilled coffee droplets on the floor, and slamming his forehead straight on the marbled counter. It hurt like hell, but for some reason, he only had a small cut and bits of scratches in the middle of his forehead, when it should have been a gash or even a concussion from how awful his fall was. The sound was equally disturbing, and if Feng Xin wasn’t Feng Xin—whose skull was thicker than his skin, but certainly not any thicker than his—he would have bled to death right then and there.
But he didn’t care for the stinging pain or the blood dripping from the open cut on his forehead. He didn’t even have the time to curse out loud for the way he fell forehead first onto the counter, or for the way he spilled scorching hot coffee and chilled creamer all around him on the floor, for when he heard a string of trill—a harmony of laughter behind him, his world stopped and so did his heart. He didn’t find it in him to be angry, especially when he saw that it was his son’s nanny, Mu Qing, who had laughed at witnessing Feng Xin’s misery.
It was magical. The pain subsided almost immediately and Feng Xin found himself almost making doe eyes at Mu Qing. He had never seen or heard Mu Qing laugh, and to see it now almost made his terrible fall a wondrous thing, like a miracle of sorts.
Feng Xin had admitted to himself long ago that Cuo Cuo’s nanny was beautiful. He was tall and gorgeous, and his pale skin always made his limbs look supple and fragile, even when he wasn’t. He seemed to be this unapproachable young man with his blacker-than-black eyes seemingly staring into people’s souls all the time, but he was gentle and caring towards children—towards his son, most of all. However, witnessing a new side of Mu Qing: laughing so freely, so happily, and so… beautifully, Feng Xin could just forget about the bump growing on his forehead and the blood dripping past the bridge of his nose. He couldn’t describe this warm feeling residing in his chest, but he wanted to feel it again. He wanted to feel this warm, inexpressible feeling, and he wanted to see Mu Qing smile and laugh at him.
“Are you going to do something about that cut on your forehead, or are you going to keep sitting there like a dunce?” His thoughts reeled him back to reality when he realized that Mu Qing was no longer laughing, though he was still smiling. Your smile matters to me more than anything, Feng Xin had thought to himself as he was scrambling to get himself off of the ground. Throughout the whole ordeal, he was rather surprised that the mug he used for the coffee didn’t break; it did have cracks around it, so he decided that after he cleans up, he’d dispose of it. “R-Right.” Feng Xin stammered out a quiet response, placing a hand on the edge of the counter, only to slip back down because the counter was stained with creamer from when he first fell.
Feng Xin knew what would happen next and he braced himself for it immediately, clamping his mouth shut and squeezing his eyes close. As expected, he fell forehead first on the ground this time, further widening the cut. There was another loud thud across the kitchen, and this time it attracted the attention of their precious baobei, Cuo Cuo, who ran into the kitchen with a worried look. His kindergarten uniform was in disarray, showing how he had foregone properly straightening them to see what had happened here. “A-diē?! What’s wrong?!” Cuo Cuo, aged five, spoke in an energetic yet concerned tone.
Seeing his own father bloodied on the floor and struggling to get up, Cuo Cuo’s initial instinct was to turn to Mu Qing with wide, worried eyes. “Gege, what happened to a-diē?! Is… Is he going to die?” Tears instantly gathered in the corner of the baobei’s eyes, one that caught Mu Qing’s heart in strings. He quickly denied the assumption and said, “No, your father’s not dying, but won’t you be a good boy and take the first aid kit from the bathroom drawers? Thank you, baobao.” Despite himself, Feng Xin caught himself nearly smiling at the way Mu Qing handled Cuo Cuo’s worried outburst. In just a few seconds, Cuo Cuo was back to his calm and determined self before trotting away from the kitchen to do as his gege asked.
“Ah, fuck…” Feng Xin muttered with a hiss, sitting up properly and leaning against the counter. More blood had trickled down his forehead at this point. Mu Qing walked towards him and retrieved an ample amount of tissue from the holder to wipe the blood with. “This hurts like a bitch.”
“Well, maybe if you were careful the first time around, you wouldn’t be in such a mess right now.” Mu Qing pointedly said, which made Feng Xin frown. Though the smile on Mu Qing’s lips completely diminished the irritation welling up inside him. I could forgive this if he keeps smiling like that, he thought to himself as he let Mu Qing clean up the blood. “Though, I must say you had quite the comedic fall. It was impossible not to laugh.” It was horrible to say someone’s fall was laughable, but Feng Xin promptly ignored that and focused on the fact that Mu Qing found it reasonable to laugh. He had to stop himself from thinking about it further and started questioning himself if he was a masochist for planning on doing something like this again if it meant making Mu Qing laugh more.
“Shut the fuck up. You’re making my head hurt.”
“Good. Let it bleed, too.”
Mu Qing had successfully wiped most of the blood off of Feng Xin’s forehead, but the cut was now a little more open and bruises were beginning to form around it as well. When Cuo Cuo returned with the first aid kit in his small arms, he made it his life mission to avoid his father’s forehead unless he began thinking his father is going to die. Upon receiving the kit, Mu Qing smiled softly at Cuo Cuo and said, “Thank you, baobao. Wait for me in the living room and I’ll fix your uniform for you, okay?” Cuo Cuo looked up at his gege when he heard that and said, “B-But… But I want to stay. Can I please, gege?”
Feng Xin thought about Mu Qing being the perfect parent for Cuo Cuo, but he instantly shut down those thoughts by chucking it all up to his wound making him feel and think things a bit differently. Surely, that was it, right? Like how some food can cause hallucinations, Feng Xin was probably just being affected by the wound on his forehead. But even when Cuo Cuo was already gone and Feng Xin was made to sit on a dining chair, with Mu Qing carefully tending to his injuries and scolding him for being careless, it was all Feng Xin could think about.
“Are you listening to me, Feng Xin?” Mu Qing asked a few minutes later with an arched brow and Feng Xin realized he had idled yet again. “Has your head completely fallen off of your neck? You’re spacing out again. Should I start worrying too?” Mu Qing was in the middle of opening a band-aid when he realized that Feng Xin wasn’t responding to him, so he thought that the fall must have shaken that smooth brain of his completely.
Feng Xin frowned even deeper at Mu Qing’s words and huffed, annoyed. “Oh, shut the fuck up, Mu Qing.” He would have said something more than just that, but somehow he felt like if he did, he’d end up saying something that would embarrass the two of them for the whole week, so he decided against it. Instead, he focused on the band-aid that Mu Qing was uncovering and noticed the color. “Pink band-aids? So tacky.”
“Maybe, if you didn’t stupidly slip and fall, you wouldn’t have to walk around with this tacky pink band-aid on your forehead like an idiot. So, sit down and have this on you.” If Mu Qing could roll his eyes any harder, it would have reached so far inside his head that he could see his brain. Nevertheless, he applied the band-aid on Feng Xin’s forehead to hide the injury and protect it from any bacteria. “And your son must have placed this inside the kit while he was getting it earlier; you don’t have the right to complain.” Once everything was done, Mu Qing sat back and looked at the mess of coffee and creamer on the floor. “Now, go and help Cuo Cuo with his uniform while I clean up. And walk properly.” The certain stress on his reminder made Feng Xin’s brow furrow, irked.
Though, as soon as he exited the kitchen, he couldn’t deny the way his heart ran rampant inside his chest, the thought of Mu Qing caring for him in such a way nestled deep inside his brain and heart. Feng Xin decided that he should do this more often.
More or less, this was hilarious, ridiculous, and stupid.
First, if he was planning on purposely hurting himself, he should have picked a much softer landing or something and pretend that it hurt. But, no. Feng Xin had no sense of depth and always ended up hurting himself enough for his arms and head to bruise a few times. A week after his first fall, he tried doing it on purpose by tripping over his own feet. He stumbled and landed on his back, and god did it feel like his spine broke in smithereens because he fell flat on the floor in the living room. Mu Qing was nearby too and saw what happened, and although he looked concerned, he fought back his laughter by hiding his mouth behind his hand.
“Are—Are you fucking okay?” Mu Qing asked as he approached Feng Xin, reaching out to help him up. Feng Xin groaned as he tried to move and he struggled to take Mu Qing’s stretched hand. But at that moment, he thought about how soft Mu Qing’s hand was and how this was all worth it. It was a bad idea that Feng Xin ignored for the time being. He needed a reason to be able to be this close to Mu Qing without using Cuo Cuo as an excuse. Somehow, Feng Xin thought that purposely injuring himself would be the go-to plan.
What an idiot.
Second, he was beginning to feel as though Mu Qing was making fun of him by purposely buying kid-themed band-aids in pharmacies whenever Feng Xin would ask him to buy more due to his untimely-and-totally-not-done-purposely injuries. “Really, Hello Kitty-themed band-aids?” The injury being covered this time around was on Feng Xin’s cheek after he had accidentally paper-cut himself. “Don’t complain. It’s all they have in the pharmacy when I asked.” Mu Qing said dismissively, but he worked for Feng Xin long enough for him to know when Mu Qing was lying. It was subtle, but Mu Qing would always scrunch his nose a tiny bit whenever he’d lie, and he did it when he stated that the pharmacy didn’t have the regular band-aids.
“Qing’er, you’re lying.”
“I am not.”
“Sure, you are.” Mu Qing put the first aid kit away once he was done with cleaning the small wound and covering it up with a Hello Kitty-themed band-aid, rolling his eyes as Feng Xin insisted that he was lying. “I’m not. Really.” He denied it again, and again his nose scrunched a little more, further proving Feng Xin’s claim. “You are. Don’t think I don’t know you, Qing’er.” Feng Xin said and poked him on the nose. “Whenever you’d lie, you would always scrunch your nose like what you did just now.”
The gesture made Mu Qing lean back, a hand covering his nose. He looked a bit too stunned to speak and Feng Xin couldn’t blame him; even he did not know why he made such a gesture. “I—? I do not?!” Though Mu Qing’s cheeks were as pale as they could be, the tips of his ears were burning bright red, and Feng Xin thought that that was rather adorable, he couldn’t help smiling fondly at the sight. Seeing this, Mu Qing felt even more flustered and averted his gaze elsewhere, which reminded him that it was almost time for him to pick Cuo Cuo from kindergarten.
“Whatever! I’m going to pick up baobao. Then I’m going home” He stood up hastily after that, picking up his jacket from the backrest of the sofa. Feng Xin watched the obsidian-eyed young man walk to the key holder by the front door. He heard Mu Qing mumble something along the lines of, “Why are you even working from home? This is ridiculous!” Feng Xin wasn’t supposed to, but he wanted to be with Mu Qing without Cuo Cuo hogging his attention all the time. It was a stupid notion to create a small rivalry between him and his own son for Mu Qing’s attention, but could Feng Xin help it? He also wanted Mu Qing’s attention on him and him alone.
Third, everyone in his workplace could see his kiddy-themed band-aids and often pointed it out, especially his female colleagues. They always had something to say and it was hilarious and exasperating sometimes. “You had another fall?” Pei Ming asked one time during their break. The two of them were standing near the coffee maker, and Feng Xin had a brand new My Melody-themed band-aid on his jaw, yet another injury he had accidentally obtained when he hit the table while trying to retrieve Cuo Cuo’s toy underneath it. Of course, Mu Qing had to patch it up again.
“No, I hit the table this time.” Feng Xin casually replied, turning to the coffee maker to pour himself a cup. “I was trying to get my son’s toy under the table and I hit myself.” Pei Ming scoffed in amusement at that, but he said nothing and drank his coffee. There was a bit of silence between them, but then Pei Ming spoke again, “You like your son’s babysitter, don’t you?” Feng Xin, who was in the middle of drinking his coffee, spat it out in a split second and hunched over a little, coughing and wheezing. He was not ready for that observation.
“W-What? No, I don’t!” He tried to deny that, but what could his denial do to Pei Ming, the serial dater of their whole department, other than spur and further prove his assumption? “Pff, hah! What even made you think that I’m in love or something? Certainly not! You’re a fucking nutcase, Pei Ming!”
“Hah. Oh, Mr. Feng. You think you can lie your way out of this one? I know a dumbass in love when I see one.” Pei Ming laughed out loud and walked over to Feng Xin’s side, placing an arm around his shoulders and grinning like an idiot. “Whoever this babysitter is must be extremely special to catch the attention of Mr. Feng “he-who-owns-a-gigantic-masculinity” Xin!”
“Cut it out, motherfucker!”
Yet, Pei Ming ignored him completely and continued to speak, “So, tell me of this babysitter, Feng Xin. Is she hot? Like, hot enough for you to completely ignore your aversion towards women? Is she good with handling your son? Cuo Cuo could be a little mischief, couldn’t he? I can only imagine how well she handles him for you to develop feelings for her! If our female colleagues find out about this, they’ll be heartbroken, you know?” One of the many things Feng Xin hated about Pei Ming was that he talked nonsensical shit a lot, like this one. It was utterly exhilarating and exhausting to deal with. Feng Xin placed a hand on his face and groaned. “No, you stupid fuck. His babysitter’s not a woma—“
“Oh?” Fuck. “Then, the babysitter is a he? Oh my. My, oh my.”
By this point, Feng Xin’s face was so red that he couldn’t even say anything anymore and just stuffed his mouth full of the coffee. Pei Ming was having the time of his life laughing at Feng Xin’s fluster, before he finally sighed and said, “Mr. Feng, you need to remember.”
“I don’t want to take any advice from a manwhore like you, Pei Ming.”
“Your words don’t hurt me. In fact, they encourage me to be more than just that.” Pei Ming briefly responded before his arm was back around Feng Xin’s shoulder. He didn’t know whether to shove Pei Ming away or to just let Pei “he-who-doesn’t-discriminate-when-it-comes-to-sex” Ming ramble on and on about how to handle new love interests. “But you know, Mr. Feng, you need to be honest with that babysitter. I’m sure he’s not an idiot to not notice the way you always seem to ask for him to patch you up—“
“I!”
“Yes, I know that it’s your son’s babysitter putting these band-aids on you, Feng Xin. There’s no way Cuo Cuo can apply it as neat as other people.” A pause. Then, “Anyway, I’m sure if he hasn’t noticed it before, he’s beginning to notice it now. He hasn’t said anything, I assume?” Feng Xin shook his head. “Then, great. Be the first one to say what you feel about him. If he hadn’t pointed out or said that this was corny or disgusting, then you probably have a high chance that he’d accept your confession.”
Feng Xin was stunned. For the first fucking time, Pei Ming said something that wasn’t worth beating him up for. He actually said something meaningful and sensible. Feng Xin sighed and shook his head, “There’s no way I’m following your advice.” He told his colleague, finished his cup of coffee, and returned back to work.
Except, he actually did follow Pei Ming’s advice.
Feng Xin said that he will be home a little after dinner, so now Mu Qing was still staying in his home to look after Cuo Cuo.
Mu Qing was feeling a little stressed because of the scuffle that occurred earlier in Cuo Cuo’s kindergarten, in which he had apparently kicked another boy and they had a fight. Neither of the boys in the school would tell the reason why they fought in the first place, but they kept going back and forth blaming each other, telling the teacher that it was the other who started the fight. Cuo Cuo had a small bruise around his cheek from being pushed down and falling to the ground a little bit too harshly, and Mu Qing was worried sick and didn’t know how to tell Feng Xin about it. Surely, his father wouldn’t be too pleased to know that Cuo Cuo had been in a physical fight with another boy, and at such a young age, too!
He was mulling it over so much while waiting for the broth to thicken and simmer that he didn’t even notice Feng Xin walking in the kitchen. “I’m home. Why does Cuo Cuo have a bruise on his cheek?” Mu Qing’s heart jumped out of his chest at the sound of Feng Xin’s voice and he flinched a bit too hard that he felt like he broke a bit of spine. “What the fuck—ah, my back hurts. Feng Xin! Can’t you speak a little softer?!” Feng Xin raised a brow at this, since he knew he wasn’t even talking in a loud voice. Mu Qing was glaring a few moments ago, but remembering Feng Xin’s query, he seemed to sigh and slouch his shoulders.
“Baobei had a scuffle with another boy in his class. I tried asking many times why he fought with the other kid, but he won’t budge.” He explained to Feng Xin while turning the stove off. The worried look Mu Qing had on his face made Feng Xin thought about how adorable it would be for Mu Qing to be Cuo Cuo’s mom or something. His son would definitely like the idea and agree with him. “The teacher said that if he won’t apologize to his classmate by tomorrow or give an explanation, he’d be suspended for a few days.” Feng Xin snapped out of his dazed stupor and sighed, then he nodded his head. “Come with me.” He told Mu Qing. “Let’s go ask him again.”
And so the two walked up the stairs to Cuo Cuo’s room. Feng Xin knocked upon the door to let his son know that he’s going inside. Cuo Cuo didn’t look to happy to see either Mu Qing or Feng Xin, but he didn’t ask them to leave his room. He stopped playing with his toys and pouted on the ground, knowing that he was about to be questioned for his misdemeanor. “I heard what happened.” Feng Xin gently said as he sat on the carpeted floor. He patted his lap and his son obediently approached and sat on it. “Mind telling me what happened, bud?”
“I-I—“ Cuo Cuo was tearing up though he had barely started explaining himself. Mu Qing frowned a little, a bit sad for the baobei because he probably thought Feng Xin was here to scold or punish him. “I h-heard my classmate call my other girl classmate that she was ugly and he pushed her.” He hiccupped and sniffled a little, but he continued. “I told him to a-apologize because what he said wasn’t true, but he pushed me too and we started fighting.”
“I see.” Feng Xin nodded his head, placing a gentle hand to stroke Cuo Cuo’s hair as to console him. Mu Qing, watching the father and son handle this situation, couldn’t help but watch in a soft and fond gaze, almost as though he was smitten with their relationship. Feng Xin pretended he didn’t notice that; he could deal with these emotions towards Mu Qing later, when there’s just them. “Do you want to tell me why you didn’t tell the teacher what happened?”
“Because… Because I didn’t want my other classmates to think A-Li was ugly, because she’s not.” Cuo Cuo must have thought that if he revealed that the reason why he and his classmate fought was because of A-Li being “ugly”, his other classmates would eventually agree and call her ugly too. “A-Li is really pretty, a-diē.” Feng Xin couldn’t help smiling at that and softly kissed his son on the forehead, “I can tell, baobei. What you did for A-Li was good and honorable, but refusing to reveal the truth was not good. Do you want me to come with you tomorrow, and then we’ll tell your teacher what happened?”
Cuo Cuo looked up at his father and then to Mu Qing for a moment, contemplating. Then, after some time, he nodded his head slowly but he pointed at Mu Qing. “If… If gege could come too…?” Mu Qing looked rather surprised at that, and he looked over at Feng Xin in silent query if that was necessary. Feng Xin let out a small chuckle, “Qing’er? Well, why don’t you ask him?” Cuo Cuo’s teary eyes brightened a little at that and he turned his doe eyes towards Mu Qing, then asked.
“Gege, can you come with me tomorrow to school, please?” And who was Mu Qing to refuse, really? He did not have the heart to turn down such a request. So, he sighed and smiled gently at the child, nodding his head, “Okay. I’ll come with you tomorrow, then we can explain everything to teacher.” Now that that was all settled and a plan was made to explain and apologize, Feng Xin stood up with his son in his arms. “Let’s have dinner now, yeah? We can’t have the food wait for us; it’ll grow cold."
Dinner went by smoothly and both Mu Qing and Feng Xin were glad that Cuo Cuo was in a much better mood. His bruise was treated with some ice, then his father tucked him into bed and read him a small bedtime story until he fell asleep.
Mu Qing was downstairs and was cleaning up the dishes, hyperfocused on something else again since he didn’t sense Feng Xin walking in. Feng Xin watched him clean the dishes for a little while and wondered what he could be thinking. He had been assessing his feelings and his current relationship with Mu Qing over the past few weeks, and since Pei Ming told him that advice some two or three weeks ago, he couldn’t shake it off his head.
He needed to tell Mu Qing, and he needed an answer from Mu Qing.
“I tripped and fell on purpose.”
“Fuck!” The sound of Feng Xin’s voice made Mu Qing flinch and nearly lose grip on the plate that he was holding. His head snapped towards the direction of the archway that led towards the kitchen, glaring at Feng Xin. “Feng Xin! Couldn’t you have at least made your presence kn—what?!” Feng Xin didn’t seem to be fazed by Mu Qing’s reaction, but he was a little amused that he caught Mu Qing off guard again.
Regardless, he continued, “And I also want to marry you.”
“Wait!” Mu Qing held out a soap-lathered hand to stop Feng Xin from rambling any further. His cheeks were beet-red from what he had just heard. “Wait, wait! Stop talking! Don’t say a fucking word!” There was a small pause between them, with Mu Qing just holding out his hand before he calmed down and said in a quieter voice, “What did you say?”
“I said I want to marry you—“
“Not that, idiot! The other one!” Feng Xin made a small “oh”, then repeated his confession that all this time, he tripped and fell on purpose. “I did those just so you would patch me up and sit close to me.” This wasn’t good for Mu Qing’s heart. No, not at all. His heart was racing madly inside his chest (although Feng Xin wouldn’t see this at all). “W-What the fuck…” Mu Qing mumbled to himself as he turned to the towel to dry his hands off. “Don’t… Don’t say shit jokes like that, A-Xin! It’s not funny!” But Feng Xin hardly looked like he was joking, and this was good bad news to Mu Qing’s heart.
Feng Xin walked a few steps forward while Mu Qing took the same steps back. “I’m not joking, Qing’er.” He said to Mu Qing. “I really want to marry y—“ Mu Qing decided he has had enough and moved forward, plastering his hands over Feng Xin’s mouth to shut him up. “Shut up, shut up!” Mu Qing exclaimed in an embarrassed flurry, cheeks bright red and lovely, obsidian eyes narrowed. He was huffing from the lack of oxygen in his system, but Feng Xin was surprisingly calm, if one wouldn’t point out his erratic his heart was beating inside him.
He gently grabbed Mu Qing’s wrists and peeled his hands away from his mouth. “Qing’er.” He called, leaning close to Mu Qing. Their faces were getting too close that it was hard for Mu Qing to pull away. It was an impossible task at this proximity. “I—“
“Oh, shut up and just kiss me if you want me so bad!” Mu Qing finally said after all that and cupped Feng Xin’s cheeks in his palms. Although he was the one who told Feng Xin to kiss him, he made the first move and leaned in, pressing their lips in an almost haphazard manner. Feng Xin could feel their teeth grind against each other from the lack of gentleness and relaxation, but he hardly cared. Mu Qing kissed him first and that was every answer he needed to know.
He pulled away briefly to properly kiss Mu Qing this time. He had always imagined Mu Qing had soft, chapstick-lathered lips, and to feel it against his own was magical. He embraced Mu Qing around his waist and tugged him close, then he tilted his head as to deepen the kiss a little more. Mu Qing closed his eyes and his hands relaxed around Feng Xin’s cheeks. Eventually, his arms found themselves wrapped around Feng Xin’s broad shoulders, inviting and reeling Feng Xin to kiss him more.
After what seemed like an eternity, they both broke away. Breathless, flustered, cheeks burning red. Their hearts were beating so fast it was a miracle they are still alive. Feng Xin looked down at Mu Qing’s lips again and brushed his own a few times. “So, marry me?” He quietly whispered against his lips.
“…Dumbass.” Mu Qing mumbled back, embarrassed. “Be my boyfriend first.”
Feng Xin laughed a little. “Right.” He said in between soft chuckles. Words couldn’t express how happy he was to have Mu Qing in his arms like this right now. He had always thought and imagined how nice it would be to embrace him, and now he’s living that thought of his. Feng Xin kissed him again and again until Mu Qing had to stop him, otherwise he’d combust on the spot.
This reminded Feng Xin: he should bring something for Pei Ming as thanks for that once-in-a-lifetime-helpful advice.