Chapter Text
Fuck. He was so fucking irresistible. So delicious but poisoned with nothing less than the drug he sold to him. And Dabi should know better than to take a bite and saturate himself with what undeniably was so toxic. But Tomura had him by the balls since the first time their eyes met.
“Let’s go to my place, the party can go on without you. I couldn’t get you a gift but… I can let you fuck me in every position you want. I will be all yours all night…” Tomura’s breath tickled his sensitive ear, making Dabi shiver in response. It was rare for the other to be assertive like that. Usually, it was Dabi begging for Tomura’s attention, and as much as it drove him crazy, he also enjoyed it when the other played hard to get. But now, he realized he also was into it when the tables turned, and the addict was the one desperate for him. Cold hands roaming his body, bony fingers digging into his sweatshirt, the sweet scent of cookies and Christmas punch mixed with the musty odor of unwashed hair and the rusty stench of dried blood. Not a blend that should drive him crazy, but it did. He’d always been so fucking weak to everything about his druggy neighbor that even things that should turn him off did the opposite. And yet, right now...
“Hm babe, that sounds great....,” Dabi just about kept himself from stuffing his nose in the other’s neck and inhaling his addictive smell. Biting, licking, kissing… he wanted to do all these things, but he had guests he’d invited over and couldn’t get lost in his desires right now “… but I can’t.”
Tomura pulled away, and the dealer snapped out of his half-trance state; the alcohol and the weed being partly responsible but mostly the intoxication caused by this dreamy boy in front of him who was about to wake him up with the irritated tone of his voice. “Why not?” What a funny question coming from no one other than his druggy neighbor, who seemed to reject him six out of ten times. Dabi should be the one asking him why nots.
“Because I’m the host. I’m sorry. We can spend time later, once most everyone leaves.” He could see the disappointment growing on the younger one’s face. But he quickly returned to his callous self. It was usual for him to adjust the slipping mask as quickly as it was about to fall.
“Whatever then.”
Dabi started craving for the other’s intimacy the second he’d lost it, albeit self-inflicted. He could’ve had what he wanted, and his heart leaped in his chest, something telling him it was a bad idea to let Tomura go now.
“Tomura, wait…” he reached out to grab the younger man’s arm but reached into nothing. He’d disappeared into thin air so fast, leaving Dabi puzzled and looking around. The apartment was stuffed with people; Dabi couldn’t remember inviting that many to this stupid little Christmas party he was throwing. “Tomura?” he called and felt familiar unsettlement crawl up his neck. “TOMURA!” he called louder, pushing past some of his guests, eyes wide scanning the entire place when he realized everything seemingly turned static in an instant. Guests who were just dancing or fooling around all turned towards him, staring at him undemanding yet eerie. “Did anyone see where Tomura went?” But he didn’t receive an answer, feeling more unsettled. Until one of his guests, the woman in the red dress and the long black hair, walked up to him.
“Hey Santa, are you taking some Christmas wishes?” she cooed and wrapped her arms around his neck. Dabi, just confused about the out-of-place reaction, furrowed his brows.
“I… No, I have to find Tomura.”
In response to his words, the girl turned towards the bathroom door, silently staring at it. Followed by her gesture, the other guests did so as well.
Dabi immediately rushed towards the door to turn the handle just to find it locked. “Tomura? Open the door! I’m sorry!” He knocked, furiously slamming his fists into the wood while increasingly panicking. “Please, Tomura, if you think about shooting up, don’t!” Not getting an answer, he smashed his shoulder into the door, trying to break it open. He wasn’t sure why he was so adamant about getting in there. He just knew he had to. When he finally broke the door open, he found just what he expected: Tomura on the floor, looking unconscious, skin turning blue, a blood-filled syringe sticking out from his bruised arm. Dabi quickly went down on his knees next to him, shaking the lifeless body. “TOMURA. HEY! TOMURA!” ‘Don’t let him fall asleep,’ he told himself and smacked his neighbor’s cheek over and over. When he looked back, he realized they had an audience, guests who started to gather by the bathroom door, silently staring, not moving just like earlier. “Don’t just watch! Call an ambulance!” He yelled in their direction before focusing back on the body he’d dragged onto his lap. “Tomura, don’t leave me. Come on. Wake up. Wake up!”
“He’s not going to,” suddenly Dabi was pulled up from behind, the body of his beloved slipping out of his grasp.
“What are you…?” His words got stuck in his throat when he turned around to see he was facing no one other than Stain, who was towering over him. “You…”
“Surprise,” a menacing grin was displayed on the taller man’s lips. “Didn’t think you’d see me again, did you? Especially after you put me into prison for life.”
“How…? Why are you here?” Instead of receiving an answer, he was pushed against the wall with a painful thud. Why? Why was no one helping? Why were the guests all still only staring like they were paralyzed? Dabi gulped; his glance fell on the body sprawled out on the bathroom floor, his vision blurry, making it seem like the man on the floor was fading away. “Tomura…”
“Tskststsk…” Stain grabbed him by the neck, took away his air to breathe, and clicked his tongue. “This here is your labor. You killed him…isn’t it the very drugs you sold him that put him into this state?”
“I… I didn’t, I… “ He rasped through the pressure on his throat, trying to make excuses, but who to? His eyes burned, and he bit his lip hard. Stain was right. He’d done that. He’d killed Tomura.
“Don’t worry… I’m gonna make sure you two won’t be separated. I know how much you love to be together.”
Dabi glanced down to see the handle of Stain’s knife pressed against his abdomen. His next glance fell at the people in front of the door, their silent, eerie, audience. They all seemed to be judging him with their stares, knowing exactly what he did. He swallowed once more and nodded, looking deep into the blood-red eyes of the man in front of him. “Then what are you waiting for?”
The other man’s lips curled into even a wider grin. “Snitches come to get your stitches,” he purred into his ear before he violently pushed the knife into Dabi’s body.
“… HAH!” Dabi jumped into a sitting position in bed, his heart racing, his shirt sticking wetly to his chest, his fringe to his forehead, and his body trembling from cold shivers. Panting heavily, he reached for his abdomen, where he felt the phantom pain from his nightmare, just to see that he was completely fine. Next, his hands feverishly fumbled the sheets, and he reached over to pull the blanket next to him down to find the curled-up body of his boyfriend. A shaky sigh of relief immediately escaped his lips at the view. Tomura was still peacefully asleep, hands balled into fists and half his face pressed into Dabi’s pillow, the other half covered by his long hair. The older male could only calm down again after laying his hand on the other’s hair and running his trembling fingers through it, gently brushing it out of his face to get a peek at his serene expression. Moving his hand lower, he stroked his cold face and felt his warm, regular breath on his knuckles. Clearly, he was alive and well and hopefully had a more peaceful dream than the one Dabi just woke up from.
“What the fuck, really…” Dabi cursed quietly and brushed his sweaty fringe out of his face. He took a few more seconds staring at the sleeping body beside him before he removed himself from the bed to shuffle to the kitchen, where he grabbed a glass to fill it with tap water, downing it in one gulp. As he put the glass down, he looked out of the window in front of him. It was pitch black outside; Rain drizzling against the window. His next glance fell on the digital clock on the microwave. 3:21 am. “Just great..” he mumbled. From experience, he knew there was no chance he could fall asleep again after a nightmare. But he had some job hunting to do starting early in the morning and had hoped to be well-rested for it.
Instead of even attempting to go back to bed he decided to take a shower; get out of his grossly sweaty clothes. He sighed as he stepped into the bathroom and found clothes on the floor. He picked them up and threw them into the laundry basket, quietly mumbling to himself, “How hard is it to throw them into the basket….?” But Tomura was just that kind of person. Someone who seemed too chaotic for such simple things as keeping the place tidy. He’d already gotten a taste of the other’s chaotic lifestyle back when they lived together.. over five years ago in their little apartment. Now here, in temporary housing in an Airbnb in Shinjuku, things weren’t much different, at least regarding that chaos. However, one could argue that it was Tomura who had his life together more than Dabi did. After getting rid of his boyfriend’s mess, Dabi pulled off his shirt and stepped out of his briefs to get under the shower. He turned on the water, cold enough to immediately make goosebumps rise from the healthy parts of his skin as the water hit him. But a cold shower was just what he needed. He held his head under water and closed his eyes while his now-white hair was getting a proper rinsing. Stupid nightmare. It made his head a jumbled mess. The worst part about his nightmares was how they always seemed to be actual memories mixed with his biggest fears. The reality of these memories blended with the abstractness of his fears just made them all the more terrifying. This night’s nightmare was about that one Christmas eve six years ago when Tomura overdosed in his apartment. This memory was a reoccurring one in his nightmares. As was the special guest who made a cameo in his dream: Stain.
Was it guilt? Maybe. Or fear? Maybe both. But Stain had started showing in his nightmares ever since he ratted the other out to the police and in court. A therapist would probably have a field day analyzing this shit for him; that would be IF he were to go to one. But going to therapy would mean admitting to himself that he had a problem, and Dabi didn’t arrive at that stage. Hell, he’d never been the most mentally stable person, and he always did just well dealing with it. So, he would now too.
Once he left the shower and slipped into some clean clothes, he analyzed his face in the mirror. He looked completely out of it. Exhausted, terrified, fucked up, really. He’d only been out of prison for a month, and the inflammations of his scars from his time there still didn’t completely heal. He grabbed the ointment from the cupboard to put it on the places that were red and irritated. Once he placed the tube back where he got it from, his arm paused as his glance fell onto the stack of medicine envelopes. They were all Tomura’s HIV medication. Something always flared up in Dabi’s chest whenever he spotted them, another wave of guilt for something he felt he was responsible for. No matter how many times his boyfriend told him it wasn’t his fault, how it was all okay now, how he didn’t mind taking a few pills. Tomura often reminded him that things were better now, but Dabi always had trouble truly believing so. He was trying, though. Or trying to try.
By the time Dabi returned to the bedroom, it was only 4 am, so way too early to wake the sleeping beauty and not risk getting his ass beat on a weekday. So, he sat down in bed next to his boyfriend, grabbed his phone and earbuds, and turned on some music on Spotify to help him clear his head. As the soothing lo-fi from his phone filled his ears, his gaze fell onto the sleeping figure next to him again. Tomura was fast asleep, snoring softly away. He wouldn’t ever wake up by himself, and sometimes Dabi was envious of how peacefully he could sleep for up to twelve hours without waking up once. But he deserved that peace… finally. “Such a sleepyhead…” Dabi felt a small smile tugging at his lips. Nightmares aside, he’d been lucky enough to wake up next to the love of his life for the past month. That was when Dabi returned from prison. At first, Tomura had offered Dabi to come live with him and his sister’s family. But Dabi himself said it wasn’t fair to Tomura’s sister to expect her to let an ex-convict, who she knew nothing about, crash at her place where she lived with her family because she didn’t owe him this blind trust. Thus, they ended up settling for this temporary housing in this Airbnb in Shinjuku instead until they’d hopefully find a place to actually settle down together.
It was a month since he’d been a free man again, and he was still adjusting to life outside. Slowly but surely, he started to get there. All was easier with Tomura’s assistance… Somehow, Dabi felt guilty about just how much he needed to rely on the other. He had barely any money to his name when he was released. Hell, didn’t even have a place to go. But Tomura insisted on paying for the Airbnb in the meantime, and just because Dabi didn’t want to be apart from him, he agreed but made it his goal to be able to pay him back once he found a job. Something.. legal. Dabi couldn’t remember the last time he had a job that was. Even though Tomura always told him not to worry because he made enough to not worry about money. Part because he published a book that was selling well. But also, because he was working part-time in a coffee shop, one of the businesses owned by his old boss Giran from the gay bar he’d worked in before. Dabi didn’t know the full story, but something about this Giran understanding that the gay bar wasn’t a good work environment for an addict in recovery, but having found such a liking in Tomura, he had offered him a workplace that was less toxic for him- still in Ni-chome but at least not part of the nightlife. Ever since Dabi left prison and was with Tomura, he’d realized how cleaned up the other’s life was in stark contrast to how it had been before he was locked up. So, of course, he worried about him coming back messing it all up again. Dabi wanted to enjoy being with the other, be ready for a new life together and all that fluff, but if he was completely honest, he was riddled with doubt. “I can’t mess this up…” he sighed to himself.
He suddenly felt a kick to his leg and blinked, surprised. Then heard the other’s voice muffled against the pillow, barely audible through the music coming from his earbuds. “What’re you mumbling about?”
Dabi quickly pulled out the earbuds, put his phone on the nightstand, and lied down next to the other, chuckling. “Nothing… just reminiscing. Sorry, did I wake you?”
Tomura opened one eye to squint at him sleepily, then yawned and stuffed his face into Dabi’s shoulder. “Yeah.. because you’re anxiously shifting around next to me.”
Dabi pressed a kiss onto the top of his head and mumbled into his hair. “Sorry… didn’t mean to. Go back to sleep it’s still early.”
“How early?”
“Like .. four am something…”
This time Tomura opened his eyes completely and tilted his head back to look up at Dabi, brows furrowed. “You had a nightmare again, didn’t you?” Of course, he’d known about these nightmares because sometimes, when Dabi woke up from them while screaming, he’d wake up his boyfriend as well.
Dabi shook his head. “Just nervous about the job interviews today, I guess.”
“Liar. You don’t ever get nervous…” insisted Tomura, yawning right after. He was obviously still drowsy but forced himself to stay awake to get to the bottom of what Dabi was up to.
“You’d be surprised…” Dabi muttered and sighed. “Go back to sleep now. You still have a few hours and a full shift later.”
Tomura moved over more to rest his head on Dabi’s chest and closed his eyes, so the older male was sure he’d won that argument and got his boyfriend to get more sleep. However, before he could finish this thought, the other spoke quietly. “We can still go to Osaka if you don’t feel safe here…”
“Hm?” Dabi blinked, looking down at the other, who still had his eyes closed but elaborated.
“You have nightmares because you worry about your past catching up on you.” And that was true, he couldn’t let go: Tomura’s addiction, the illegal business Dabi had left behind, prison.. it all was in the past now and still such a big part of his ever-waking thoughts. Hell, even the sleeping ones. As was Stain, who would be rotting in prison for life but who he was terrified would somehow come back again to cripple any potential of a normal life. “That’s why... if you feel unsafe in Tokyo, let’s move away to Osaka like we said,” added Tomura when Dabi stayed silent to his previous words.
Dabi sighed and shook his head. “Look, I’m having nightmares, yeah. But moving away won’t change that. I just have to readjust to life outside of prison, and they will go away with time.” They had this conversation already. Several times. Sure, they had dreamed big of leaving Tokyo behind to further distance themselves from their past. But Dabi realized how this wasn’t as easily done as said. He didn’t want to rip Tomura out of this stable life he’d build for himself here while he was gone; a family not far away and to return to, a nice job, and then the side gig where he’d started volunteering as a mentor for addiction group counseling once a week. He had more going for him here than starting from zero again once they would move to Osaka. So, Dabi had told him it was fine to stay in Tokyo, even though, if he were honest, he wouldn’t mind escaping this city, putting physical distance between himself and his past.
Tomura sat up now, looking at him with an earnest expression. “Then at least consider starting therapy. You’ve probably got a case of PTSD or something. I’m serious.”
Dabi snorted and pushed himself up on his elbows. “Sure. Because you wrote a self-help book and give lectures to some druggies once a week, you’ve become qualified to armchair diagnose me now,” he couldn’t avoid the sarcasm. Especially because he was sensitive about the topic of his mental health.
“You’re being a dick. And it doesn’t need a professional to see you’ve got issues,” Tomura grumbled and laid back down, turning his back to him, so Dabi sighed. He already kicked himself for being an asshole to the other.
“I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to sound like I’m looking down on what you do. I think it’s great that you’re trying to help others and stuff.” He laid his hand on the other’s arm, but Tomura shook it off.
“It’s still early, I’m going back to sleep. You’re not gonna talk seriously with me, anyway. You’re always avoiding any topics that go deeper so let’s stick to small talk from now on.”
Dabi chewed his lips, then took a deep breath and nodded. He didn’t want their relationship to be about shallow talks either. “I’ve dreamed of that Christmas Eve from six years ago when you overdosed in my bathroom… Many of my nightmares are about things like that. Especially since I’m out of prison, it’s like… I don’t fucking know, it’s like I’m terrified things will go back to the way they used to be.”
Tomura turned back to look at Dabi again. “They’re not going to.”
“I know that. I know… but, shit, my subconscious doesn’t. And images like you laying on my bathroom floor while your body is turning blue are just burned into my mind. So even now, if you just take a little longer in the bathroom, I notice myself panicking, wanting to check if you’re okay. Shit like that isn’t just gonna stop.”
“So therapy…”
Dabi interrupted him. “I don’t need fucking therapy, I need to get high. That’s always worked. But I have no connections to get weed from anymore.”
Tomura rolled his eyes. “You unironically saying shit like that to an addict is what makes you an insensitive asshole.”
“Come on, you’re hardly an addict anymore, five-plus years sober. It’s time to stop playing the victim.”
“An addict is an addict! Sober or not!”
“Oh, another one of your favorite Aizawa’s pearls of wisdom?” scoffed Dabi, not able to avoid the jealousy seeping through because sometimes it frankly annoyed him how much his boyfriend talked about his counselor still after all this time. Shit. He even started trying to be like him, mentoring these group sessions and all.
Tomura now showed obvious anger on his face. “Shut up! You might be able to get casually high, but I can’t. I have to stay away from any substances to not fall into old habits. Even just a sip of wine can make me spiral again. The craving is always there, and you so casually talking about getting high to feel better is fueling it! You constantly talk about how scared you are that you will make a mess of my life again but then say and do things that have the potential to mess me up! Maybe you just want to run away, then just say the word and go!” There it was again, the two starting a fight over stupid shit as it happened alarmingly often in only the month they were back together. And it was always triggered by talks about Dabi’s mental health that irritated the older one of the two, so he’d deflect by being a dick to his boyfriend, who wouldn’t take this kind of shit from him.
“Running away from what exactly?” Dabi scorned, still feeling stubborn despite the other’s words making his stomach churn out of fear of getting dumped here and now.
“You tell me!” Tomura raised his voice. “You’re the one scared shitless of a normal life!”
It was almost scary how spot-on these words were. Tomura understood him so well that Dabi sometimes thought maybe he should be a therapist, even if he scoffed about it whenever the other analyzed him. He chewed his scarred bottom lip, then mumbled. “I’m not really scared of a normal life… I’m... scared to not be able to have one without fucking it all up for you and me.”
“So stop self-sabotaging!”
“I won’t. I want to, but I know that I won’t because my fear drives me to push for an excuse to leave so I cannot hurt you anymore. So don’t say things like ‘if you want to run away, then go.’ I need you to hold onto me even more and tell me to stay when I doubt everything. I need a rational voice to drown out all the irrational ones in my head that tell me I’m making your life collapse by being part of it.”
Tomura’s expression immediately softened upon Dabi laying out his feelings so vulnerably, which was rare for him since he came back from prison. The smaller male reached out to him and wrapped his arms around his neck to pull him in for their foreheads to touch. “Stay. The only way my life will fall apart is if I lose you again,” he whispered, his breath tickling Dabi’s face. Even though Dabi laid it out to him, he could still feel the sincerity in his words.
Dabi wrapped his arms around his boyfriend’s waist, pulling him closer as he tilted his head to nuzzle the other’s nose with his own. “Don’t ever let me go then.” And how stupid he’d be to leave. He wanted to be part of Tomura’s life for so long. So long that he couldn’t even remember when it had started. Maybe the first time they met? Maybe not quite then. Rather, perhaps… If Dabi thought hard about it, he would be able to pinpoint the exact moment when he realized that what he’d felt for Tomura was crossing lines from what a dealer should feel for his customer. And thinking he found the moment; he couldn’t help but snort at himself at how ridiculous the path to realizing it was.
It was a month after Dabi had moved to this neighborhood, and with that one month since he'd met Tomura. He’d started to get used to slinging drugs to junkies around here, and business was booming. Despite that, he wasn’t sure if the net total was worth it. He made enough money to afford to live comfortably and pay for his mother’s hospital bills. But when he was already so deep into the illegal business, he’d prefer to make enough to really make it worthwhile. Selling drugs just to junkies didn’t do it for him. He needed to step up his game. Go big or go home.
So, when it was time to meet with a guy from his work, he decided to talk business. “There’s got to be bigger deals for me to do than selling to tweakers in the neighborhood.” Meeting with his colleague happened in a nightclub slash brothel like it usually did. A hiding-in-plain-sight sort of deal. His colleague, known by the alias Muscular, was the same person who had gotten him the job and was since like his assigned partner. The man was sitting on the couch across from him, one of the nightclub’s strippers clinging to each of his sides, pretending to cheerfully giggle at everything the man had told them since coming here.
Muscular leaned forward to Dabi’s words, raising a brow as he picked up his drink. “You’re a newbie. Don’t bite off more than you can chew, kid.”
“I didn’t get into the business to make enough to get by. I need more than that for what I’m risking here. Like you never take me with you to big traits, but I’m sure that’s where you make the most money. Who do I have to talk to to get involved in higher-value traits?”
Sighting, the other man leaned back again. “Be patient. Do your job. Enjoy the money you are making right now. If you sell enough, you will naturally fall onto the boss’ radar, and he’ll put you up for better traits.”
“What’s this boss’ name?” Dabi asked, only earning him a raised brow from his partner, so he pressed, “I’m working for the guy. I should know that much, at least. I’m tired of being kept in the dark about everything here.” He didn’t know much of anything about the business he worked for because they didn’t tell him much as someone who’d only just started working for them a couple of months ago. It all started when Muscular had scooped him up from the streets because he was selling shitty self-grown weed on their “turf,” which was frowned upon. But instead of sending him away with a warning, upon noticing that he’d built quite the network of customers by himself, they saw him as useful enough to employ him for their business. Since then, Muscular told him it was still the test run before they’d let him in more about what kind of organization his work was tied to. And so far, Dabi just rolled with it because he was just glad enough to make money without having to grow his own weed anymore. This organization also relocated him to this new neighborhood a month ago, stating this was the right place for a guy like him to make big bucks. And as it turned out, they were right, he had three times the customers here than he did in his old neighborhood.
Muscular rolled his eyes. “The boss goes by Overhaul. You’ll learn his real name if he trusts you enough.”
“Overhaul,” Dabi snorted. What a corny pseudonym. Although maybe he wasn’t one to talk, going by Dabi and all. “And what’s he? Like Yakuza?”
“He’s someone you shouldn’t pry about if you want to stay on his good side. You don’t realize that he’s already given you a good position for a newbie, placing you in the heart of Tokyo’s drug scene to sell.”
Dabi wanted to keep prying anyway but was sidetracked when one of the strippers sat down next to him. “Hey handsome, you look lonely.” She cooed, playing with the hem of his shirt, and giving him a sultry look. Dabi loved pretty women, no doubt. Yet, right now, the pretty one on his side felt more like an annoyance because he’d planned to get somewhere with the business talk today instead of being dismissed again. “You listening?” the woman asked when her previous words went ignored by Dabi, who was spacing out.
Maybe Muscular noticed his reluctance to let the topic go because he talked to him over the table, “If you keep growing your customer network like that, I’ll put in a good word to the boss and will see if he has more work for you. But no promises.”
That was better than nothing, and he’d take it. “Alright, I’ll have them doubled by next month,” he confidently proclaimed.
“Sure, kid. For now, enjoy yourself. Boss is paying for us to have a good night. That also means he’s been paying for these beauties,” half of what Muscular said was mumbled against the lips of one of the girls whose chin he’d grabbed to make out with her.
Dabi sighed and looked down where the hand of the woman next to him had landed on his lap. “This includes me. I’m here to give you all my attention all night. So, why don’t you clear your pretty little head a little, hm?”
Why the fuck not? So, when the woman straddled his lap, he let her. And when she started nibbling on the scarred skin of his neck, he let her too, releasing a soft groan as she ground down onto his lap, skillfully moving her hips. He could tell these were the hips of a dancer, he was sporting a half-hard one within maybe seconds. Getting laid by sex workers who were paid to fuck him wasn’t usually his style. Dabi was hot enough to get women to sleep with him without money being involved, and he never had trouble getting laid. Usually, he’d just walk into a bar, have a good look around, and find at least one hottie who was practically ready to open her legs for him the second their eyes met. But since it wasn’t his money that’d pay for this experience, it was whatever. So, he let the girl grab his hand and pull him up to lead him into one of the rooms in the back. Arrived in the room, he was pushed to sit on the big bed with the woman climbing onto his lap once more, working her hand to firmly massage the hardness through his pants while whispering dirty talk into his ear. “I can tell you are a big boy. The hot ones always are,” she purred, running her tongue along the helix of his ear, nibbling his piercings.
But instead of being able to enjoy her actions, Dabi’s mind started to wander when he caught a glimpse of the syringe on the bedside table next to one of the all too familiar-looking foil envelopes. This was how they sold heroin in the organization he worked for; it was easy to recognize, a trademark of their pure china white to be dosed this way. So, the way these women were paid was likely with drugs. Or something even darker was going on. Sex trafficking definitely crossed his mind. And knowing jack all about the organization he worked for didn’t help him figure it out either.
The woman on top of him grabbed his face to turn it towards her, but before she could kiss him as planned, Dabi spoke. “You’re working here for how long already?”
The girl raised a brow. “I know what I’m doing if that’s what you’re getting at.”
“Uh, no, that’s not it. Just wondering… you know… how you started working here.”
“That’s pretty personal.”
It was, he realized that too. Even if the women here were trafficked into this business, it wasn’t like she’d just tell him that. But the possibility of it being the case made him reluctant to do anything with her. He’d already lost any pleasure he’d felt too, his pants around his crotch feeling loose again. So instead of giving in to her wandering hand on his crotch, he grabbed her wrist and nodded at the bedside table. “Heroin. That shit’s gonna kill you.”
Unfazed by his statement, the lady just smiled. “Babe, that shit is what keeps me going.”
Somehow, these words triggered some new curiosity. “Can I ask something else?”
“Never had someone who preferred to ask questions over being fucked. But fine, if you’d rather spend your time talking than getting your dick wet, then go ahead,” she lightly scoffed, giving him a disgruntled look.
“What comes first? Sex work or drugs?” She didn’t seem to understand the question because she raised a brow, so he elaborated. “I’ve just been wondering.. since it seems a lot of addicts in this neighborhood also sell their bodies. Did they start selling their body to afford their drugs, or did they start taking drugs to make it easier to sell their body? And how do you like… know, if someone is going off the deep end in either case?”
She sighed and got off his lap to sit down next to him and grab a cigarette to light it. “Are you asking about my personal experience?” She asked, taking one drag of the cigarette before holding it to Dabi, who took it. Right after that, she lit herself another one, laying down in bed with it. “Or do you know someone who’s in this position and try to figure out if their downfall can be avoided?”
Dabi felt like he was caught red-handed. Maybe that was indeed what he tried to figure out here. His mind had naturally gone to the people in his neighborhood to who he sold drugs. No, if he was completely honest, the second he saw the syringe and the heroin, his mind had gone to one specific person in his neighborhood. Shigaraki. The guy who’d been buying from him since he moved there. Someone who confidently claimed to have his heroin use under control and be able to afford it with his job in the fast-food chain he worked in. But Dabi, who’d turned to face the woman, denied it anyway, “Nah, just curious, is all. Like you know, the world’s biggest questions like the chicken or the egg kinda deal.”
The woman shrugged, taking a drag from her cigarette, and blowing the smoke up in the air. “I think the answer is that we all don’t know anymore why we do the things we do and where it all started because once you’re in it, it doesn’t matter anymore. I just know that in this neighborhood, one is always followed by the other.. every whore will sooner or later do drugs, and every druggie will sooner or later whore themselves out to afford their drugs. It’s a vicious cycle.”
“Hmm.. really, everyone?” Would Shigaraki also fall victim to this vicious cycle sooner or later if Dabi continued selling him drugs? And why did he care if he did? He barely knew the guy. But he couldn’t deny that he was somewhat fond of him already since the first time they met. They’d clicked so well immediately, at least that was what he thought. He couldn’t say for himself that he had many encounters like this in his life when he met someone and it just fit.. and that’s that. That’s that… or maybe that wasn’t that. He felt oddly drawn to Shigaraki and couldn’t quite explain it to himself. But he also felt like Shigaraki kept him at a distance. The few times Dabi had invited him to come over and smoke some weed, he didn’t even try to make up an excuse. He would just straight up say that he didn’t want to and that he’d prefer to go home, shoot up and get some rest. Maybe Dabi was just fucking lonely and wanted a friend, and Shigaraki was the only person he met so far in the neighborhood to consider one. Or maybe… “Shit!” he jumped when he felt something hot on his thigh. He’d spaced out so long that the cigarette in his hand had burned down, and glowing ash had fallen onto his lap, burning a little hole into his pants. He quickly extinguished it by slapping down on it, and the girl next to him giggled.
“You’re cute. I like ditzy boys. Too bad you’re not interested in getting laid. But I can’t blame a man who has someone else on his mind.”
“I don’t—”
He was interrupted. “I may be a druggy, but I’m not stupid, honey.” She hummed and showed him a knowing smile, there was something gentle about it. “Is she on heroin? You worry about her?”
“It’s... it’s not a she. It’s a dude. And I mean, I guess? A little? Jury's out on that one,” Dabi shrugged exaggeratedly.
“A little, hmm?” She still smiled and put out her cigarette in the ashtray on the bedside table, leaning over Dabi in the process. “So, if it’s just some dude and you’re not interested, nothing keeps us from doing what we came here for, after all.” The way she said it seemed to tease in a way as though she knew more than Dabi himself did. She ran her now free hand along his leg, and he once again stopped her by placing his hand over hers.
“I’m not… into him like that… if that’s what you’re implying. I don’t swing that way… I think.”
“You think?” she once again asked in a teasing tone, seemingly satisfied to already having gotten him to admit as much.
“I mean, I’ve never thought about it, to be honest. I never looked at a dude thinking I wanna fuck him or anything, so.”
She giggled and sat back on the bed again. “Until you met him, hm?”
Dabi thought about Shigaraki's face, which had a certain allure, and the time he met him for the first time in front of his apartment. Even if he wanted to, he couldn’t deny to himself that back then already, he’d noticed a foreign attraction. He might’ve even taken on a natural flirting tone with him at that time and did so frequently when they talked. “What now? I’m gay for just one dude or some bullshit?”
She shrugged. “Sometimes you are just attracted to the person, not their gender. It means you see something in him that’s not primal but deeper. A connection, maybe?”
How did he end up in a situation where a sex worker was telling him that he was possibly further east on the Kinsey scale than he’d realized? But he didn’t actually hate it. It felt good to talk to someone neutral about it. “You might be right,” he eventually admitted. “I think I may have some kinda crush on the guy. He’s pretty cold to me, though, so… I guess it’s not mutual.”
“Well, you never know until you make a move,” she winked and reached into her bra, pulling out a business card. Dabi blinked when she handed it to him. It had the name “Midnight” on it and a phone number. “Good luck, tiger. But if it doesn’t work out, call me anytime. I still owe you one time fucking anyway, so feel free to redeem it anytime.”
Dabi would call her again another time but not to fuck. The woman later would turn out to be somewhat of a friend. Someone who made him realize first that he was crushing on Shigaraki. And someone who later would make him realize that it wasn’t just a crush. She was the woman at his Christmas party who he’d made out with in a selfish attempt to make Tomura jealous, but which backfired when the other overdosed in his bathroom. But that was another story to digest another time.
When Dabi left the brothel that night and returned home, he was still wide awake. Too awake, in fact, and the gears in his head turning about the conversation he had had with Midnight about Shigaraki. He tried to distract himself by opening a porn website on his phone as he leaned back in his bed. He thought about what to look up and then reluctantly started to type “gay” and hit enter. Might as well test out whether he was into it or not after the talk earlier. He scrolled down quite a while, glancing at thumbnails and titles, but none of them looked too alluring to him. He chewed his lip and went back into the search bar and added next to the gay “white hair” thought for a bit and also added “anal” for good measure. This time an appealing thumbnail showed up pretty fast, with a white-haired guy getting it from behind by a black-haired dude. He clicked the video, leaned back, and focused on the screen where it started a little too slow for his liking, the two men in the video just making out with too many clothes still on, so he moved the slider to get to the good part. He raised a brow, watching as the black-haired man in the video stretched the other out with his fingers, the white-haired one moaning loudly, almost like he was in pain. “Jesus…” Dabi mumbled, wondering if it actually hurt while looking down at his fingers, trying to envision it. He figured, if he were to have sex with a man, he’d probably prefer giving over receiving. He skipped forward in the video again to finally get to the part where they fucked. The black-haired man was now fucking the white-haired one into the mattress hard, and that was more like it. “Hmm…” Dabi licked his lips and got more comfortable, glancing down at his crotch where he could feel his length twitching. This actually did something for him; who would’ve thought? He pushed his hand past his waistband and started lazily massaging himself while focusing his eyes on the screen. The white-haired man’s face was hidden as the other pushed it into the pillow and that helped, his face looked nothing like Shigaraki after all but now with it not showing Dabi could perfectly imagine this person as his neighbor, at least he had a similar frame. He wondered what sounds Shigaraki would make when he was fucked. He sort of thought he was probably the loud kind, a mix of grunts, curses, and whines... probably also complains because he seemed like the bratty type. Just imagining it made Dabi’s length twitch with excitement. He pulled it out of his pants for more leeway and wrapped his hand around it to jerk himself off with more enthusiasm while imagining Shigaraki pinned into submission beneath him, giving him attitude yet moaning in bliss every time Dabi would thrust his cock into him.
The video had become redundant now that his mind gave him something better, and he dropped his phone and closed his eyes, using his imagination as material instead. In it, Shigaraki was on his knees on his mattress, Dabi fucking him hard from behind, grasping his full hair, twisting it around his fist, and yanking at it, making the smaller man cry out in pleasure and pain with this angelic fucking voice. “Hmm, Shigaraki…,” Dabi groaned as he moved his hand around his cock faster, squeezing tighter. Surely Shigaraki’s ass was tight and hot. And what about his cock? Dabi wanted to touch it and pump it while fucking him, feeling it pulsate in his grasp. He’d never in his life thought about wanting to touch anyone’s dick, but at this moment, the thought of getting to play with Shigaraki’s was what pushed him over the edge, making him cry out and his back arch as he came in his hand. "Ah, fuck..."
As soon as he fell back exhausted and came down from his climax, he was hit by post-nut clarity. Did he really just jerk off while thinking of his neighbor who wouldn’t even stay for a joint or two if he tried inviting him? How fucking pathetic. Although maybe that was partly what made him so attractive... being so fucking unattainable. Dabi closed his pants, sighed, and grabbed a wet wipe from his bedside table to clean himself. He jerked off to all kinds of things before but usually never to the idea of fucking people he actually knew. But he had to admit that doing so this time was giving him a pretty good orgasm for self-care. “Shigaraki, huh…?” he sighed as he reached for a joint and lit it, hoping this would calm his mind a little that was rushing with thoughts now. But this wasn’t doing it. He still felt restless, bouncing his leg, and thinking about the talk with Midnight earlier. She said something about how his attraction was probably deeper, like a connection or something. Dabi would have thought that maybe it was just simple curiosity, though.
He looked up at the clock on the wall, five before midnight. Inevitably, he thought about how Shigaraki should be coming back home from his job at the fast-food chain soon. He knew because the other had come to buy heroin before leaving for work early this afternoon, and when he had his afternoon shift, he’d return by midnight. With that in mind, Dabi pushed himself out of bed and grabbed the ashtray to put it on the windowsill, where he leaned against it, smoking his joint while lifting the blinds of the open window enough to be able to look outside. The neighborhood was half busy like usual on a Friday night; mostly drunks yelling outside at Kurogiri’s bar just a couple of buildings down. Dabi stayed watching for the next few minutes, now and then glancing at the clock on the wall. He sighed when the hand of the clock switched to one minute after midnight. “What am I doing?”
He'd been asking that himself quite a lot. This wasn’t the first time this month he was waiting by his window to see if he could catch his neighbor coming home. He’d done so at least five too many times. And it was pointless on top of it. Even when, afterward, he would open the door to catch Shigaraki walking up the stairs to his apartment and tried to invite him in, he’d just get a rejection anyway. Maybe the issue was always trying to invite him into his apartment, and maybe the other just didn’t feel comfortable hanging out in his place. Having one's guard up in this neighborhood was smarter, after all. With that in mind, Dabi decided it was time for a change of plans. So, he put out his joint to grab a fresh one and a lighter and left the apartment, walking downstairs.
Shigaraki should show up any second now, so Dabi sat himself down with his back against the wall of the building in a manner as though he was hanging out here casually. He didn’t want it to be known that he was desperate and would rather the other think he just ran into him by chance. He didn’t sit long before he could see Shigaraki crossing the corner from the convenience store across the street. Dabi looked away and made himself appear relaxed, lighting his joint. As soon as Shigaraki was close enough to spot him, Dabi glanced up and could see the other pause for a second before he continued walking. The dealer, in the meantime, pretended to be unaware of his presence and only looked up when the other gave him a mumbled greeting. “Yo...”
“Oh, hey,” he attempted to sound surprised as he looked up at his neighbor, who had pulled out his keys to unlock the downstairs door. Apparently, Shigaraki had no plans to linger around and talk to him as expected. So, Dabi had to react fast before he could vanish inside. He cleared his throat to get the other’s attention and when Shigaraki looked at him pointed at him. “No fast food today, huh?”
Shigaraki looked down at his empty hand, then shrugged. “I think I said it before, but I’m kinda tired of fast food… So yeah, not really taking food home from work anymore. If you want a burger, you gotta get your own. I’m not planning to become your delivery service.” Although he sounded disinterested as always, it was a little endearing that he mentioned a callback to the first time they met, when Shigaraki had given Dabi his fast-food meal.
“Hmm yeah, thought so…And hey, not trying to make you get me food or anything. Luckily there’s a convenience store right there if I get the munchies,” Dabi pointed towards the store across the street.
“Awesome then,” mumbled Shigaraki.
“Yeah…” Dabi replied and silently cursed himself for not knowing how to properly hold a conversation that’d make the other inclined to stay. Of course, he’d failed again, and Shigaraki already pulled the door open, meaning to go inside, but this time the dealer jumped up and held his joint out to him. “You still haven’t tried my weed.” Since Shigaraki only raised his brow at the joint he’d extended, he added, “Like, I get it. You don’t wanna come and hang out in my place to smoke weed. But what’s it hurt to share one out here? Since we met out here by chance.. and stuff.”
“By chance…” the other mocked. Had Dabi truly failed acting like this wasn’t all premeditated?
He decided to drop the act and sighed. “Fine. I’ve been waiting for you. You don’t ever wanna hang out when I ask you to come to my place so figured maybe you’d want to hang out here for a bit. No pressure, but I might cry this time if I get rejected again.”
Suddenly Shigaraki took the joint from him, then wordlessly sat down where Dabi was sitting before, leaning back, and bringing the joint to his lips. Dabi just stood and stared until the younger man spoke, “What now? Thought you wanted to smoke together, so,” he patted the ground next to himself. “Besides, don’t wanna make you cry,” his tone had shifted into a teasing one.
“Right,” Dabi laughed and felt disproportionally happy about his success and quickly sat down next to the other. “So, you’re more empathetic than I thought, then.”
Shigaraki glanced at him from the corner of his eyes while taking a drag from the joint. “Eh, not really. But if I make someone cry, at least I want there to be a good reason for it.” He still sounded uncharacteristically teasing.
“Like what? Breaking someone’s heart isn’t a good enough reason?” Dabi realized only after he said it that he’d naturally started sounding flirty again.
“Your heart can handle it,” was all his neighbor responded before holding the joint back to Dabi.
Dabi snorted and reached for it. “So? What’d you think? Best weed you ever tried, right?”
Shigaraki shrugged. “It’s alright.”
Dabi raised a brow, “Yeah, right. ‘Alright.’ You didn’t even savor it. Give it another shot. And this time, I wanna hear the truth.” He insistently held the joint back to Shigaraki again, nudging his shoulder with his own.
Sighing, Shigaraki took it and brought it to his lips again, inhaling deeply. This time he let his head fall into his neck with his eyes closed as if to savor it and make his judgment. He lingered like this for a bit and Dabi found himself just staring at the other from the side, taking in every detail of his profile: His defined cheekbones, the narrow, slightly upwards pointed nose, chapped lips puckered in a natural pout, a cute mole sitting beneath it. His skin was unnaturally pale, almost translucent, so some veins shimmered through. Dabi had never noticed that even his lashes were light but long. And he’d never noticed that the lines of damaged skin he had on his face were also visible on his long and thin neck. His prominent Adam’s apple raised and sank when he slowly allowed the smoke to leave his lips. Dabi also never knew that a man’s neck could look this erotic and kissable. Instinctively, he licked his lips at the sight but was pulled out of his thoughts when Shigaraki turned his face to him and showed a small smile on his lips. “Alright… this might actually be pretty good weed, after all,” he admitted this time, his eyes tipped into a satisfied half-lid. The weed must have kicked in now. More importantly, Dabi thought this was the first time Shigaraki showed him a smile, and his eyes lingered on the scar on the other’s lip that had curved into a half-moon with it.
“It really is, huh?” Dabi responded absent-mindedly, now naturally smiling as well as he took the joint from the other. There was a second or two where Shigaraki seemed to be as lost in Dabi’s eyes as Dabi was in his. Only after Dabi’s fingers brushed the cold knuckles of his neighbor, did he seem to snap out of it and quickly averted his gaze.
“Anyway, gotta go.” The disconnect happened so fast again, tension snapping like a stretched rubber band, and already the other had pushed himself up, ready to head through that door.
“Shigaraki,” Dabi stopped him before he could leave, getting up as well.
“Hm?”
“Are you cold with everyone, or are you just specifically put off by me?” He’d asked that question before he could even think about it. But it was what he truly wanted to know. Something that had bothered him since they met.
His neighbor seemed to be confused by that confrontation because his sparse brows drew together. “Why do you think I’m put off by you?”
At least that wasn’t such a bad answer. “I don’t know, man. Because it seems like you constantly avoid me unless you come to buy drugs? Kinda gives me the inkling you don’t particularly like me.”
This time, Shigaraki shrugged. “I’m just not looking to make friends, especially in this neighborhood. That’s all.”
“Why? I mean.. why’d that be a bad thing? Wouldn’t it be a good thing to, like, have acquaintances in this shit neighborhood? Someone you can trust and all that?”
It was almost as if Shigaraki thought about his words for a few silent seconds while he chewed on his dry lips. Eventually, he spoke, “Wouldn’t it be worse to trust a junkie? Let alone make friends with customers you’re selling poison to that’ll inevitably kill them?”
That selfless reasoning surprised Dabi. Was that the reason Shigaraki kept him at a distance? As though he was thinking of what was better for Dabi, not wanting to put him into a situation where he might start to feel guilt for selling a deadly drug to him. And was it bad that Dabi himself hadn’t thought about it? “You said you have it under control... your heroin use, I mean.”
Shigaraki cracked a smile. This time, however, it looked somber. “If I remember correctly, your answer to that was that no one ever has it under control when it comes to heroin.”
And that was still what he thought but tried to deny now in exchange for a chance to break down that wall between him and the other. “You seem fairly reasonable.. so…”
Shigaraki snorted, shook his head, and swung open the door. “I’m not,” he said before disappearing inside.
Dabi groaned to himself as soon as the door fell shut behind his neighbor. What was he trying here anyway? Trying to start some sort of friendly relationship with his customer who was a junkie? That wasn’t like him. And he should feel glad that the other was keeping him at a distance for his own sake. But even so, even though he accepted that this was a relationship that could only be toxic, the sleepless nights thinking about Shigaraki would only really start, and Dabi had to accept that the truth was that he’d fallen for him.
And now the present day, it seemed they both had managed to eliminate everything that used to make their relationship toxic. No more drugs. No more illegal business. Away from this terrible neighborhood. They’ve been through hell to arrive at this point, and still, Dabi struggled to accept that finally, things were better. There was probably a word for it, for the fear of a happy life.
After their rocky morning together, the couple had to get ready to leave soon. Tomura would have his early shift at work, and Dabi had planned to go and check out some open jobs from the daily newspaper and hope for more success than he had this far. Dabi decided to leave at the same time as Tomura so they could walk the bit to the coffee shop together before they needed to split. As they walked next to each other, Tomura, as he did frequently, ranted about the coffee shop and his customers. He was still the same old in this regard, always tired of dealing with people even though he was surprisingly good at it when he had to. Although Dabi didn’t always find the other’s rants all that interesting, this morning it grabbed his attention when he talked about a new customer who’d been coming to the coffee shop regularly for the past week. “I’ve been getting kinda paranoid about this guy... just because he seems to stare, like a lot. And just at me,” he said after he’d told Dabi a bit about this guy.
“Might have a crush on you, and I can’t blame him,” hummed Dabi, nudging Tomura with his shoulder. “It’s Ni-chome, after all. Aren’t you used to guys being thirsty for you in this district by now?”
Tomura sighed, “I don’t know. It’s just not the usual flirty customer. Like, he doesn’t talk other than placing his order. And he sits at the same table every time, the one where he can directly stare at me. First, I thought maybe I’m unlucky again, and he’s some old client of mine or something. But nah, I’d remember the guy. He’s like, handsome and probably around my age. I never had many people my age as clients, so the few I had, I would recognize them.. probably.”
“Hmmm...” Dabi hummed and kicked a rock on the pavement in his step. “If he makes you feel uncomfortable, then maybe talk to your boss about it or something.”
“What? And tell him just because I have a weird feeling about a customer, we should ban him from getting his coffee?”
“Didn’t you make sure Stain was getting banned in Polaris back when you still worked there?”
“Yeah. But Stain was threatening me. This guy is just weirding me out with his presence. I can’t have him banned just for giving me heeby jeebies." Tomura shrugged and stopped when they arrived in front of the coffee shop, "Anyway, that’s me.”
“Right… so, what are we gonna do about the guy?”
“We are going to do nothing. Worry about finding a job instead, right? I have a feeling today you’ll be lucky.”
Dabi groaned. “Whatever. Will see. I promise I’m doing my best, though. Can’t let you keep paying rent for my ass.”
“I’m not rushing you, but yeah, I just think it’d be good for you to have something to do when I’m at work, so. Do your best.” Tomura grabbed his chin and planted a kiss on his lips.
“Now I’m feeling like I’m a dog whose owner wants to make sure the dog is kept busy,” Dabi snorted but kissed his lips back. “Call me when the weirdo shows up. Maybe I’ll come by and make sure he doesn’t get any ideas. If I’m your dog might as well be the guarding type.”
Tomura rolled his eyes. “Will definitely not do that, but I appreciate the sentiment. Good luck, today. And come by for coffee if you need a break during the job hunt.” And with that, he pulled out the key and unlocked the store to enter it.
Dabi sighed and looked down at the newspaper in his hands, flipping it open and looking at the job offers he’d circled. Job hunting was the worst. Especially without a car and in this humid heat. His license was revoked back when he was sent to prison. Being that his sentence was related to him stealing cars for a living, he’d also not get it back anytime soon, especially not while he was still on parole. He eventually nodded to motivate himself with an “Alright!” before he put the address of the first open job into google maps on his phone and started heading there.
His forged motivation already left off after the first unsuccessful attempt to have an interview in a convenience store. They barely even allowed him to step foot into the place before already telling him he was not what they were looking for. Already getting told off before he’d have to show his spotty resumé was bad. His looks didn’t help him to find a job, and even if he went past the hurdle of his appearance, his resumé would take care of the rest and get him rejected. Tomura was putting too much faith into Dabi finding a job with his lack of qualifications. The job search this day remained a failure even after going to the fifth place he’d circled in the newspaper. Dabi left the building for construction work, cursing quietly, “Assholes.” Not getting a construction job was a new low. He’d always thought they’d just take everyone who walked in. He leaned against the building and pulled out his cigarettes to light himself one before looking at the scrunched-up newspaper in his hand to see where he’d have to head next, when he couldn’t help noticing a black, lavish car from the corner of his eyes, tinted windows in the back and all. Ever since he’d worked in a car dealership, nice cars just jumped into his eyes from the time when it was his job to find them. He automatically calculated in his head how much he’d made at his old job bringing this car back. At least 500.000 maybe even 700.000 Yen. Just as he mourned the good money he used to make, he noticed someone sitting in the car he’d been staring at. A suspicious-looking guy wearing a black suit and sunglasses. He raised his brow and took the last drag of his cigarette before dropping it and stubbing it out with his shoe. He didn’t enjoy being mean-mugged by the car’s owner, so he decided to leave.
However, as soon as he started walking down the street, he noticed the car starting as well. His heart immediately skipped. But he kept his head down and only could sigh in relief when the car passed him. For a second there, he was convinced it was following him. Was he being paranoid? Well, probably for good reasons. He might’ve been in prison for five years, but he still couldn’t completely shake off the idea that someone from his old job would’ve heard of his release and sought him out. Especially after he’d ratted out Stain. But was he that important for someone to come and swoop him up? Probably not. At least that was what he told himself in moments of paranoia.
The unsettlement about the car still sat in his chest even when he returned to the job search and went through another failed and suspiciously short interview as a janitor. So, when he left the building, he couldn’t help but glance around. His eyes widened when he could spot the car from earlier once more in a parking space by the building. No doubt, it was the same car. And now it was hard to pass this off as coincidence. What would a fancy car like that do at a construction company and a cleaning company next if not deliberately following him? Was it too soon to freak out and call Tomura? Probably. So, for now, Dabi just decided to leave the area in quick steps but cursed quietly to himself as he heard the engine of the car behind him. “Shit shit…” He nervously glanced around as he walked down the street to look for any side street he could escape into, but without luck in this area. He pulled out his phone, gripping it tightly as he kept walking in fast steps, deliberating again to call his boyfriend but then what would that do other than worry him by telling him that he thought he was being followed? So instead, he opened the camera app on his phone and held it just high enough so he could direct it over his shoulder and see if the car was still following him, and indeed it did. The driver didn’t even seem all too bothered by being noticed, considering that he wasn’t exactly stealthy following him at such low speed. Maybe this was what he wanted. To be noticed. To freak Dabi out. Let him know that if he dared go back to where he lived now would mean leading this person there as well. His heart was racing now more with every step while he wrecked his head on what to do. Eventually, not coming up with a better idea, he stopped dead in his tracks. What good would running and hiding do? If this were someone seeking him out, they would continue to do so, even if he’d get away today. And he didn’t plan to live in fear of leaving the house going forward. The street he was on was quite secluded, so these weren’t the best circumstances. Still, he swallowed any fear and turned to the side when the car almost provocatively stopped right next to him.
Dabi walked closer to it, took a deep breath, and then knocked on the window, knowing well this was a bold move. The driver also instantly let the window down. “Yo. Whatever you're buying, I ain't selling,” he immediately challenged, trying to keep his voice from trembling. But the driver didn’t respond, just silently looked at the rearview mirror, so Dabi sighed and added, "Seriously, what do you want? Why are you following me?" For a second, Dabi thought he wouldn’t get any response at all until the window to the backseat also went town, making him stumble back a bit in surprise. The window opened just enough for a gloved hand to stick out and wave Dabi over and then point to the other side of the car, as though inviting him to get in. Dabi swallowed.
He might have completely lost his marbles but again, what else was there to do? So, he walked over to the other side of the car and reached for the door handle. He released the breath he was holding, opened the door, and couldn't avoid a gasp slipping past his lips upon seeing the man sitting in the car. “Get in and close the door,” he calmly spoke, none other than the boss of his old job known by the alias Overhaul. Dabi had only met the man once during his time working for the organization, but he could immediately recognize him even with the black face mask on. Thus, he could also recognize that he didn’t have much of a choice and did as told. As soon as he sat down and closed the door behind him, the car started driving again, and Dabi’s heart was beating up to his throat. He didn’t say a word. Not knowing what to say anyway. Was he on his way to getting killed? Probably nothing as extreme. But he definitely wasn’t being brought someplace nice to have a comfortable chat; that much was clear. As though wanting to keep him in suspense as well, Overhaul didn’t say a word either, and it was an excruciating five minutes of that, just silently driving and Dabi staring down at his hands that still gripped his phone. Not that he could exactly call the police and tell them he was kidnapped by his old boss, who happened to be Yakuza.
“You are quite arrogant staying in Tokyo after everything.” These words from Overhaul eventually broke the silence.
Dabi quickly looked up at him. “Care to elaborate on that ‘everything’?”
A barely audible snort escaped the man’s lips, muffled by the facemask. “And quite arrogant of you to ask such a stupid question.”
“Look, can you just tell me what this is about without dragging it out? Do I have to call my folks to say my goodbyes? Am I being off-d? Sent to an island? Trafficked? Back to prison? What is it?”
“If you keep talking, the first one is certainly an option,” responded the other unfazed.
Dabi pursed his lips. But that was probably good. It meant it wasn’t an option if he shut up, and he felt himself relax at least a little. But there was some uncomfortable silence following until Overhaul spoke again.
“You know. I was quite fond of you the one time we met.” Dabi, not sure what to respond, just didn’t and waited for the other to keep talking, which he did after another prolonged pause. “So was Stain.” His heart leaped at the mention of that name, and he started to get more of an idea why he was here but still kept himself from saying anything, just waiting through these long pauses for Overhaul to keep talking. “Maybe I have myself to blame for my bad judge of character.”
Finally, Dabi allowed himself to engage. “The only reason I ratted out Stain was that he was becoming a problem. I didn’t let anyone else in. But Stain had to go. I couldn’t let him roam the streets while I was in prison.”
“A problem how?”
Dabi bit his lip and thought of what to say without talking about Tomura and his fear for Tomura to get hurt by Stain even more than he already did, and that being the reason he had to make sure he was behind bars. “He was dangerous.. psychotic. The streets were unsafe with him free.”
“And how is that your problem? Playing superhero making the streets safer?” the other scoffed.
“He could’ve hurt someone I care about,” as soon as he said it, he bit his tongue. This was already too much information.
”Could have?” The tone of Overhaul’s voice made Dabi feel like maybe he knew more than he let on. Did he know about what Stain did to Tomura? And if he did, he knew about Tomura? The thing he wanted to avoid the most, so he hoped he was wrong with his reading of the situation. Dabi didn’t respond, and the other talked again, “You probably have no idea of the magnitude of problems it caused to lose both you and Stain simultaneously.”
“I don’t,” Dabi admitted. “I guess I didn’t think if it would… I just assumed two people are easily replaced.”
“Tsk,” Overhaul clicked his tongue, “Two people with a whole network of customers and big trait partners spun around them. Connections were lost as soon as both of you went to jail. Partners immediately pulled away for their own safety when they caught word of my men going to prison. You know how this business works by now, don’t you?” Dabi would be lying if he said he hadn’t considered there to be a possible big financial loss for this organization, but he also didn’t think it’d become as much of a problem as it apparently did. Would it be stupid to ask what was the damage? Luckily, he didn’t have to because Overhaul continued, “We’re talking Hundred Millions of Yen.” Dabi gulped. No way. But suddenly, Overhaul laughed, a quiet and menacing kind of snigger. “I jest. It’s not quite as bad. But we’re definitely talking about a few million.”
That still sounded like quite the sum, and Dabi knew he was stupid to ask but did so anyway. “So what? You want me to pay it back from my own pocket?”
“Will you?”
It was his turn to release a dry laugh. “If I had that kind of money, sure. I can’t even pay rent at the moment, and finding a job isn’t exactly going great in this economy either.”
“Well, you have one you could return to.”
Dabi blinked, surprised. No way this was a serious offer after what he’d done to this organization. “Another jest?” he scoffed.
Overhaul sat up straighter. “Not quite. Actually, an honest-to-god offer. You have debts with us, so I’d be gracious enough to let you work them off. You betrayed the organization, but you used to do your job well. Very well. You’ve built the biggest network of customers and partners of any of my men in that position, and that is the only reason why I even offer you your job back.”
Dabi would be lying if he said this didn’t sound appealing after his failed attempt to find a normal job. But he was still rational enough to tell himself this wasn’t the way to go. Not after everything. Not if he wanted to have a normal life. And above all, that wasn’t an option if he wanted to stay with Tomura. “I can’t.”
Overhaul seemed surprised about him rejecting the offer, his eyes widen for a split second. Probably because this was overtly generous of him, and no sane person in his position would reject it. “Hm? And why’s that?”
“I’ve been to prison. I did my time. I turned myself in because that was what I wanted to do, rid myself of my illegal past so I can finally live a normal life. I can’t possibly go back to my old ways after I’ve come so far.”
“Well, isn’t that a moving little story,” responded Overhaul with cutting sarcasm.
“I appreciate your offer, but I really… can’t do it,” Dabi bowed his head and bit his lip. It physically pained him to reject the offer, especially because he knew it’d cause other issues.
The other man released a low hum. “So, how are you planning to pay back your debts then? You can’t be stupid enough to think I’ll just let you go without seeing my money.”
Dabi raised his head. “I’m not. I know I have to pay it back somehow… But there’s got to be another way. Like.. like… shit, let me pay it in like… installments or something. You guys do that kinda stuff all the time, right?”
Overhaul perked a brow. “You said you can’t even pay rent right now.”
“Let this be my problem.”
“Fine then. 500.000 yen installments until I decide the financial loss you caused is paid off plus interest.”
Dabi’s eyes widened. “500K a month?!”
“A week.”
That was a ridiculous offer, one that seemed deliberately unfeasible. “No way! No one with a normal job makes that kinda money! I need that to be at least like a tenth of that.” His voice rose, and his brows furrowed.
Suddenly Overhaul’s gloved hand reached out and wrapped around Dabi’s throat, pushing him back against the rest of the seat. He inaudibly gasped at the strong pressure that immediately took away his ability to breathe. “For someone owing me money and having ratted out one of my best men, you make quite a lot of demands and give me a cocky attitude. You should be thanking god that I haven’t opted for more extreme measures. So, let’s do this again…” He left off the pressure on Dabi’s throat but kept his hand there while Dabi gasped for air. “500.000 Yen. Once a week. Starting next Friday. One of my men will come and collect the payment at the location we’ll send you. You will be there. You don’t miss it. And if you do, we two will have to meet again, and it’ll go down a lot less cozy than it did today. Did you catch all that?” Dabi only managed to nod, not wanting to challenge the other any more than he stupidly already did. “Good.” With that, Overhaul pulled the phone out of Dabi’s grip and dialed a number, making the phone next to the driver buzz. This was presumably so he’d have Dabi’s number for the transactions. With that done, he pushed the phone back into Dabi’s hand before making eye contact with the driver over the rearview mirror. As soon as they did, the car stopped, and Overhaul nodded at the door on Dabi’s side. “Get out.”
Dabi didn’t need to be told twice and opened the door to escape the vehicle. But before he could close the door behind him again, Overhaul leaned over to hold it open with his hand. He and Dabi made eye contact as the other spoke in an eerily quiet tone. “By the way. My coffee order is flat white, extra hot, with three shots of espresso.”
Dabi furrowed his brows, wondering what that info was for or if this was any code he was supposed to understand. But before he could ask, Overhaul pulled the door closed, leaving him behind, shocked and silent from the encounter when the car left off. It took him a total of maybe ten seconds after the car left when his heart sank as he realized what these last words were “code” for. And as soon as he did, he anxiously looked around to assess which place he was dropped off before realizing he was close to the train station in Shinjuku. With trembling fingers, he dialed Tomura’s number on his phone and held it to his ear as he already started sprinting. But the other didn’t pick up, also not at the second time he dialed. Of course, if he were working, he also likely wouldn’t pick up, but Dabi wished he would now. He gave up after the second attempt and just put his energy into running faster. The last time he ran like that was being chased by police in his drug-dealing days. “Please, please, please be okay…” he breathlessly begged and sped up once more once he saw the coffee shop Tomura worked in in sight. By the time he arrived there and pushed the door open, he was a panting mess. He quickly looked around, only seeing one of Tomura’s coworkers behind the counter. The man was giving him a startled look at his feverish entrance, and so did the three customers in the store. “Tomura! Is he here?” Dabi asked while trying to regulate his breath.
“Uh... he…” before the barista could finish his answer, Tomura just came out from the back, carrying a box he put down on the counter.
“Oh, thank fuck,” Dabi exhaled, and his boyfriend only noticed him when he rushed to him, pretty much jumping over the counter to grab his boyfriend by his shoulder.
“Woah, what the hell? Did you run here?” Tomura, oblivious of the dire situation, blinked his eyes at him.
“You’re alright?” asked Dabi, and the other nodded.
“Yeah… why? Shouldn’t I?”
Dabi shook his head and pulled him into a hug. “I’m so glad…” His arms trembled at the tight grip he had on his boyfriend. Relief washed over him, but at the same time, a different kind of anxiety welled up inside him.
“I… Dabi, you’re kinda freaking me out... Uh,…if there’s something you wanna talk about, let’s go to the back.” Tomura seemed flustered, probably because customers and his coworker alike were paying them attention.
Dabi let go of him, still obviously agitated as he nodded. “Yeah…”
They were still stared at as they left to the backroom, and Tomura seemed to have caught on that something was off now too, but of course, he did. As soon as the door closed behind them, he asked. “Okay, what the fuck is happening?”
“Before I say anything….” Dabi started, still trying to catch his breath, “Just answer one question.” His boyfriend just nodded, so he continued, “That weirdo you told me about earlier today… You know, like, the silent staring creepy guy. What is his coffee order?”
“What?”
“Just tell me. Please.”
“Uh… it’s like something annoying to prepare… Right. Flat white extra hot, something like that.” Dabi knew it already but getting it confirmed still made his heart race. These parting words from Overhaul earlier were a threat. A threat to say that if he didn’t get his money, then he knew where the most important person to Dabi was to be found. The thing Dabi feared the most happened, and he put Tomura in danger. “Dabi? Please, tell me what’s going on…” Tomura’s voice was trembling now, too. Perhaps he realized how serious the situation was by the jarred expression on Dabi’s face.
And still. What would put Tomura even more in danger, wasn’t it if Dabi told him what shit he’s gotten caught up in? At least Dabi needed to think this all through before saying more. So, he forced his expression to soften. “Ah… I’m sorry if I freaked you out. It’s nothing just… I think you were right. This morning, you said I might have PTSD or something. I freaked out, thinking someone was after you when you told me about a weird guy coming here. I kept thinking of what happened with Stain and all that shit and… I guess I just panicked…”
Tomura raised a brow, not looking like he quite believed him. “That’s all?”
“Yeah. Shit… maybe you were right, and I need therapy,” Dabi tried to sound lighthearted, chuckling softly.
His boyfriend still eyed him dubiously. “Seriously? There is nothing else going on?”
“Nothing that comes to mind…”
“Hm… yeah, whatever then, gotta go back to work.” Tomura scoffed and pushed past Dabi to hold the door open. It was obvious. He didn’t believe Dabi. He knew Dabi lied. That was even more clear when Dabi was about to walk past Tomura, and his boyfriend added, “I’m gonna go back to my sister’s after work, so don’t wait up.”
"What? Why?" Although he asked, he already pretty much knew.
"Because I don't want to share a bed with a liar. I've had enough of you constantly keeping shit from me. So until you're ready to look at me and tell me what the fuck is going on, I don't want to see you."
Dabi wanted to protest, but maybe… maybe this was better. For now. Until he figured this out and could come clean to Tomura, it might be best for them to be apart, even if it'd hurt to go back to being without him. Especially today, he really wished he could go to sleep holding his boyfriend in his arms and feeling him there with him, knowing at least he was safe then. But he didn't get to make these kinds of wishes now. So, he just nodded before he left through the door. The last glance he caught of Tomura’s face; he could see something flicker up in the other’s eyes. Disappointment maybe. Anger? Hurt? He wished he could at least reassure him that everything was okay, but that would just be another lie.