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When Dean gets home, Cas is sprawled across their couch and watching a nature documentary. He’s already changed out of his work clothes and into a pair of jeans and one of Dean’s old band t-shirts, and generally seeing Cas wear his clothes makes Dean want to push him up against the nearest wall and kiss him senseless, but today not even that sight cuts through his bad mood. Dean knows it’s not really fair to take it out on Cas, but he glares at the other man anyway as he flops down into an armchair. Cas seems to realize something’s amiss immediately because he pauses the tv and gazes at Dean.
“Are you okay?”
Dean sighs and rubs a hand across his face, defenses dropping. “Yeah. Bad day, was all. This guy kept fighting me on the work I was doing, and I told him if he didn’t want his car to run right he could take it somewhere else, so we lost a customer, and I got yelled at for it. These guys come in and think that just because they can change their own oil they know shit about cars,” Dean shakes his head. “I don’t really want to talk about it."
“Okay,” Castiel agrees easily, “Want me to cook dinner?”
Dean shakes his head. It’s a generous offer and he knows Castiel means well, but Dean likes cooking. It always calms him down in the same way working on cars does(if the customers aren’t aggravating, that is). Plus, he loves Castiel too much to subject him to his own cooking. Dean’s seen the man burn a pop-tart.
“I got it. Can you chop the vegetables, though?” Dean’s thinking one-pot pasta tonight, because carbs are always a good choice, and it has enough vegetables to satisfy Castiel’s preference for rabbit food.
“Of course."
Dean’s quiet in the kitchen, and Cas doesn’t push for conversation. Even as he works, Dean can feel the tension leaking out of him. Tomorrow might bring more rude customers, but right now he’s completely in his element, surrounded by good food and enjoying Castiel’s presence. They haven’t even been able to properly relax in each other’s company all week— Monday they had dinner with Sam and Jess, Tuesday Cas had to stay late on campus for a meeting of the environmentalist group he sponsored, and Wednesday Charlie had bribed Dean into coming with her to pub trivia night because her team needed a replacement.
The pasta takes awhile to boil, so while they wait Castiel brings their iPad into the kitchen and shows Dean some of the YouTube videos his students have been talking about. There’s one with a kitten and hedgehog, and Dean’s too manly to admit it, but it’s totally adorable and lifts his spirits. Castiel, who doesn’t have the same hang-ups Dean does, openly “awws” at the video. Dean just rolls his eyes and pecks him on the cheek(what, that’s still a totally masculine enough gesture in a relationship between two men). They get so distracted by the videos that the pasta boils a little longer than Dean meant it to, so it’a a little softer than he likes, but it's still delicious enough to help him forget his crappy day.
When they’re done eating, Castiel clears their plates. “Feeling better?” He asks.
Dean nods, “Yeah. Customers can suck, but not much I can do about that here. And I’d rather spend my time off not thinking about it.”
“Those coping techniques Sam insisted on teaching you must really be working,” Castiel comments.
“Dick,” Dean says fondly. Castiel comes up behind him and sneaks an arm across his chest.
“Hmmm. That’s not a very nice way to talk if you want to get lucky tonight.”
Dean shakes his head and tugs on Castiel’s arm. “Get over here.”
Castiel tumbles into his lap and they both laugh.
“So,” Dean smirks, “I’m getting lucky tonight?”
Castiel traces Dean’s lower lip with his thumb. Dean catches Castiel’s hand and brings it closer to his mouth, sucking gently on the tongue and keeping eye contact with Cas the entire time. Cas sucks in a sharp breath and Dean grins at the response. When Dean finally lets Castiel’s hand go lax, Cas leans down until their heads are touching, then tips Dean’s head up for a kiss. Dean’s lips part automatically and they melt into each other, slowly at first until Cas presses harder, tongue flicking against Dean’s bottom lip. Cas hasn’t shaved in a day or two and Dean delights in the feel of stubble against his own soft skin.
Cas breaks away but doesn’t lift his head. “We have the video camera we bought on Saturday.”
“Well,” Dean says, “I think we can find a use for it.”
Cas chuckles at that before suggesting, “Why don’t you go set it up and get undressed while I clean the dishes?”
So it’s going to be that kind of night. Dean runs his down Castiel’s side over his shirt, stopping at the waist, before agreeing. “Yes sir.”
Dean knows how much that turns Castiel on, so he’s expecting the hungry expression that crosses over Castiel’s feature. Castiel scrambles to his feet off and Dean practically runs to their bedroom. He has to search their closet for a few minutes before he finds what he’s looking for, even though they just bought it Saturday.
Recording themselves had been Dean’s idea. Castiel had agree, but had the stipulation that he didn’t want to record anything on a computer or his phone for security purposes( ”I love you Dean, but I am not risking not getting tenured because of a hacked sex tape” ). Dean had tried to reassure Castiel that he didn’t think either of them were worthy of a sex-tape hacking, except he had blundered his way through explaining that, insulting Castiel in the process. Dean had slept on the couch that night until Castiel came out at 4 A.M. and told Dean he was still mad but Dean should come back to bed because the sounds of Dean repeatedly turning over were pathetic, except in an attempt at humor he had called Dean “too pathetic and bisexual to function”. Dean had replied he wouldn’t sleep next to anyone who quoted Mean Girls unironically.
Not that Dean would admit it, but his hard stance on the issue had not been worth the broken coil poking into his back the rest of the night (And really, Castiel would have been joyfully ignorant of that movie if it hadn't been for Charlie, so if Dean has to make an appointment with a chiropractor in the future, he's billing her).
Eventually, they had made up and went on the hunt for an old-fashion video recorder, eventually finding one at a pawn shop. For all the trouble this damn desire of his has caused, it had better be worth it.
He fumbles with the tripod for a few minutes, but eventually gets the camera set up, though he doesn’t turn it out yet. He’ll leave that to Cas. Dean strips and sits up on the bed. He’s still soft, but he doesn’t expect that to be a problem for long. He still hear the sink water from the kitchen running as he waits, which reminds him of the last time Castiel asked him to wait in their bedroom, and that gives him an idea.
He gets one of his red pair of panties out of the top of the dresser and pulls them up. The feel of the smooth satin against his skin is already causing his cock to twitch. Ever since the last time he wore his panties, he’s gotten more comfortable wearing them around Castiel, and the red ones are Dean’s favorite. They’re a size larger than his other two, so they’re more relaxed against his skin, but they sit low enough on his waist that they can’t contain him fully and the head of his cock sticks out of the waistband. The back is lacy, and there are cut-outs along the side.
Dean waits on the bed, propped up on his elbows until Castiel slips into their room. He takes immense satisfaction in the way Castiel’s mouth drops open. When Dean licks his lips, Castiel subconsciously mirrors the motion.
“Everything good, sir?” Dean teases.
“I just wasn't expecting my present tonight gift-wrapped,” Cas shoots back.
“Cheesy,” Dean retorts.
Castiel quirks the corner of his lip up in a slight smile. “We’ll see if you’re still so cheeky when I’m done with you.”
“Lookin’ forward to it,” Dean says with a wink.
“I’m sure you are,” Castiel replies, continuing to stare at Dean for so long that Dean starts to shift around on the bed.
“Gonna join me over here?” Dean asks eventually.
“Hmm. I don’t think so, yet." Castiel walks over to the chair they keep in the corner that Castiel likes to read in, and drags it to the middle of their bedroom right beside the camera. The chair doesn't have arms, so Castiel turns it around and straddles it, resting his head on the top of the backrest.
“I think I’d like a show tonight, first,” Cas says. “And I think, judging by those pretty panties, that you want to give one. I’m going to watch you, and you’re not going to come until I say you can.”
The idea makes Dean start to grow hard immediately. There’s something about it—maybe the blinking light of the camera, or the dainty panties he’s wearing, or the way that Castiel is looking at him—that makes him feel younger than he is. He doesn’t feel like the broad-shoulder, muscular man he grew to be, but more like his teenage self, all delicate features and wide eyes. Pretty, almost.
“Yes sir,” Dean agrees, reaching into the panties and taking his half-hard cock in hand. Castiel turns the camera on and the red light blinks at Dean. He strokes slowly, but it’s weirder than he thought it would be, being recorded, without Castiel beside him. Dean had thought they’d get so lost in each other like they normally do that he’d be able to forget the camera was even there, but Castiel isn’t letting him. The overhead light is still on too, which makes everything seem sharper. Even so, he continues and it doesn’t take long until he’s fully erect and he flicks his thumb over the slit, pre-come dripping down that Dean spreads along the shaft. Dean thinks about what it'll be like when he watches this tape later, and how maybe Castiel will make him watch, unable to do anything about it. . .
“I want you to watch yourself,” Cas says. Up to this point Dean had been staring straight forward, not making exact eye contact with Castiel but keeping his gaze in the general direction of the other man. Dean looks down as he slides his hand across, twisting his wrist around the crown and speeding up slightly. It’s weirdly mesmerizing, to look down at his own hand that’s still clothed in the fabric of the panties and watch his hand create ripples in the garment.
“Use your other hand, too.” Cas directs. “Play with your nipples.”
Dean’s hand around his cock falters for a moment as he skates his other hand down his chest. He rolls the pad of his thumb around his nipple, not touching, but then swipes gently across. The movement punches a moan from him in-between already labored breaths. He does the same to the other side, then starts alternating between the two and pumping his hand furiously over his cock.
“Pinch them,” Castiel commands. He sounds out-of-breath, but Dean can’t be sure because he doesn’t look up as he obeys the command. He whimpers at the quick burst of pain as he squeezes, which vanishes as quickly as it approached. In the back of his mind he distantly remembers that there’s a camera catching all of this, but it’s harder without the red light staring at him.
“Are you close?” Cas asks. Dean nods.
“Answer out loud, Dean.”
“Yes. . . yes sir,” Dean struggles to get out.
“Stop.” Dean manages to slow down, but the effort into stopping when his orgasm is so close seems monumental. It would take four, maybe five strokes, Dean thinks. . .
“I said stop,” Cas whispers in his ear, voice dangerously low. The shock of Castiel being so near causes Dean to startle and he forces his hand away from his body, slapping it against the mattress as he growls in frustration. He didn’t even see or hear Castiel get up from the chair. At some point Castiel had shed his clothes, and Dean’s eager to reach out and touch the expanse of skin, but he doesn’t think he’ll get to anytime soon.
“I trust that won’t happen again,” Cas remarks. Dean shakes his head.
“No sir.”
“You know I would never ask you to do anything if I thought you incapable.”
Dean nods. “I know.”
“If it happens again we’ll have to stop for the night, and I don’t think that’s really what you want, is it?”
“No sir.”
“Good boy,” Cas praises as he sits down beside Dean on the bed. “Go ahead, you can touch yourself again.”
Dean sighs in relief as he touches his aching cock. He doesn’t bother with starting slow this time, just picks up where he left off.
“Does it feel good?” Cas asks, and Dean nods. “I didn’t stay you could stop using your other hand.”
Dean groans as he obeys, his nipples stiff and sensitive under his touch.
“Do you like this, knowing that you can’t come until I say so?” Dean whimpers out an affirmation as Cas continues. “I could make you do this all night. I could watch you all night. So hot, the show you’re putting on for me. The way you obey me so eagerly, how beautiful you look in those panties.”
Dean’s muscles are already twitching, so close to release, and Castiel notices. This time he reaches over and stills Dean’s hand himself, forcefully moving it out of the triangle of fabric. Dean hangs his head in frustration as tears gather in the corner of his eyes, and all he can do is gasp for air. His chest heaves with dry sobs as Castiel plays with the hair at the back of Dean’s neck.
“I’m far from through with you, but I think you could use a break, don’t you?”
“Please," Dean begs.
“Looks like I was right about you not being so cheeky,” Castiel smiles.
“Cas,” Dean whines. Castiel crawls over Dean and leans against the headboard, spreading his legs.
“Come here,” Castiel commands. He runs a hand through Dean’s hair gently, then presses downward towards his own erection.
“I’ve been enjoying your show so much, but now I think there are better uses for your mouth, aren’t there?”
Dean nods eagerly, glad to be doing anything other than teasing himself. Castiel releases his grip on Dean’s head, though he keeps his hand resting lightly on top of Dean’s hair, as Dean lowers his mouth around Castiel’s cock. Castiel moans as Dean swallows down and the sound alone has Dean pressing his hips into the mattress for friction.
“Stop that,” Castiel commands, and Dean whines as he does so, though the sound never makes it past the girth in his mouth. He pulls off and licks up the vein on the underside of Cas’ cock before swallowing back down as far as he can, bringing his hands up to wrap around the base. He sets a quick rhythm, placing pressure and movement all the places he knows Castiel likes. He uses his other hand to tug gently at Castiel’s balls, an action that has Castiel groaning loudly above him. Cas is always the more vocal of the two of them in bed, so there’s a chorus of “Yes, Dean, there” and “good boy”s, but Dean barely hears them.
Dean can tell he's getting close by the way Castiel’s hips start jumping and Dean can tell Cas is holding himself back, but he’s not sure why.
“Look at, ah, look at Dean,” Cas commands as best he can. Dean looks up and makes eye contact. Castiel’s gaze is heated with lust and warm with love and the combination of the two is so intense that Dean has to swallow just to keep eye contact, and the movement causes Castiel to loose the last of his control and fall over the edge, coming in Dean’s mouth as he continues to swallow it down.
Cas tugs on his hair and Dean follows until he’s half-sitting in Castiel’s lap. Castiel kisses him, moaning at the taste of himself on Dean’s tongue.
“So good,” Cas compliments, and for some reason it’s this praise that causes Dean to blush. Castiel’s chest heaves as he regains his breath and Dean fidgets impatiently. Cas grins, a dazed look still on his face.
“Turn around,” Cas commands, his own voice hoarse. Dean does so, allowing Cas to pull him back until his back is pressed against Castiel’s chest. Dean’s noticed how much Castiel likes this position, and he has to admit he likes it too, how secure he feels when Cas is all around him.
“Look at the camera,” Castiel whispers as he slides his hand in Dean’s panties and grabs his cock at the base. By this point, Dean’s sure he looks as much of a mess as he feels.
“You love this, don’t you? Knowing this can be watched over and over again, you in your panties, not getting to come until I say. . . “Castiel whispers in Dean’s ear. He’s talking too quietly for the camera several feet away to pick up, but Dean knows he’ll never forget these details. He whimpers out a “yes” at Castiel’s question, though he feels he’s approaching near-torture levels of primal want.
Dean whines as Castiel slows down, bucking his hips up as much as he can. Cas works his hand under the silky fabric and the sensation feels too good, Dean knows he can’t keep this up much longer.
“Cas. . . “ He gets out, “Please. . . “
Cas withdraws his hand completely, the sensation leaving with it, and Dean writhes trying to get some sort of friction only to be meet with nothing. He shivers as he comes back down from the edge of not-quite and slumps even further against Castiel’s chest. Cas reaches up and wipes tears away from Dean’s cheek. He hadn’t even realized they were there.
“Shh,” Cas comforts as he kisses a line down Dean’s neck, stopping at his collarbone to lave his tongue over skin. He runs a hand over Dean’s thigh.
“I know, I’ve got you. I want you to come in your panties for me. Can you do that?” Dean nods. Castiel kisses the rest of the way down Dean’s stomach, whispering adoration against skin the entire time. Castiel keeps kissing until he’s kissed over the hard line of Dean’s cock, still clad in panties, before sucking on the head that peaks through the thin fabric. Dean’s been on edge much too long to make it last, so when Cas sneaks his hand in underneath the panties to stroke up from the base, Dean orgasms immediately with a shout, dampening the panties with come.
He lies still with one arm thrown over his eyes as Cas soothingly runs his hands up and down Dean’s thigh.
“Can you lift your hips?” Cas asks. Dean does with a sigh and Cas wiggles the panties off while still petting Dean’s thigh.
“I’m going to go get you some juice. Do you need anything else?” Dean shakes his head, then reconsiders.
“Mm. Tylenol, maybe.”
Cas stills his hand. “Are you okay?”
“’M fine. Feel awesome. Just gonna be sore.” Cas reaches up and presses a kiss to Dean’s palm before getting up from the bed. “I’ll be right back.”
“Might want to turn off the camera!” Dean calls out when Cas almost walks by the tripod. Castiel hits a button and the blinking red light vanishes.
Dean closes his eyes and doesn’t even hear Cas when he returns, and only notices when Cas rubs a damp cloth against his thigh. Dean flinches a little, still overwhelmed from the sensation, but Cas soon tosses the cloth aside and melts against Dean’s side. Castiel's turned off the room light and left only their bedside lamps on, so there's a warm glow falling over both of them.
“Here,” Cas presses a pill in Dean’s hand, then hands him a cold glass of orange juice.
“Dean. . . “ Cas starts.
“Mm?” Dean acknowledges when Cas doesn’t say anything else. Cas runs a finger over Dean’s shoulder and taps it when he repeats. “Dean.”
Dean opens his eyes, gazing at Cas. “What? You okay?”
“I’m good,” Cas reassures. “I just. . . that was amazing. I wanted to be sure you heard when I told you how beautiful you are, how wonderful you were.”
Dean covers his eyes with his arm again. “Okay.”
“Dean. . . “ With a gulp, Dean opens his eyes again and looks back at Cas, who raises the glass of juice to Dean’s lips again before taking a sip of his own and setting it down on his nightstand. He shifts them down until they’re lying side-by-side. Dean takes advantage of their new position and presses his face against Castiel’s chest as Cas wraps his arm around and traces patterns on Dean’s back.
Cas continues. “ It’s true. I know that was intense and not easy, but you did it. So determined to please because I asked you to. And. . .” Cas trails off and takes a deep breath. “I know this isn’t easy for you either, that compliments are hard for you, probably harder than anything I just asked you to do.”
Dean gazes up at Cas for a moment before catching his eyes back down. He’s afraid anything he’d tried to say would make him do stupid like get all choked up or god forbid, cry.
“But I want you to know. You are wonderful, and I’ll say it until you believe me,” Castiel gestures to where the old-school camera is still set up, “And I have evidence, but even if I didn’t, it would still be true. Do you have any idea how honored I feel when you give control to me like that? How much it means when I see how much you trust me?”
“ I’m not that great, Cas. . . “ Dean mumbles against Castiel’s chest as he feels his body flush for an entirely new reason. Cas is right, compliments are hard for him. Always have been, and Cas loves doling them out.
“I will tell you how wonderful you are until you believe me,” Cas repeats.
Dean snorts. “Might be awhile, then.”
Castiel shrugs. “We’ve got time."
Dean smiles weakly at that.
“Shoulda known when I shacked up with an English professor he’d end up being so loquacious,” Dean says, deflecting a bit. “Like my SAT vocabulary? Your doing, by the way.”
“Mmm. Very nice. But don’t think I don’t realize exactly what you’re doing, Winchester.”
“Copulate,” Dean replies.
“Hmm?”
“What we just did. Coitus.”
Cas chuckles.“I still know exactly what you're doing, trying to change the conversation, but I'll play along. Intercourse.”
“Bang,” Dean replies with a bit of a laugh.
“That’s getting more colloquial, not less.”
“That’s fine,” Dean says, stretching his arm above his head. “It’s okay if you can’t think of a word, I don’t mind winning.”
“I’m sure you don’t,” Cas replies dryly. “Sleeping together.”
“Does it count if we haven’t actually fallen asleep yet?”
“Yes."
“Fine. Fuck.”
“Technically, we didn’t, so I don’t think that one counts,” Castiel counters.
Dean rolls his eyes. “Well we didn’t technically have intercourse either, but I let you count that one.”
“Fine, if you insist. Sexual congress.”
“Ooh, good one. Fornicating.”
“Making love.”
Dean wrinkles his nose. “Trust you to go for the sappy one. To know in the biblical sense.”
“Fellatio.”
“Mm, getting technical there. Blow jobs.”
"A misnomer, really. Carnal knowledge."
Dean thinks for a moment. "Damn, I'm out."
“I do believe this means I win,” Cas remarks in a mock-casual tone.
“Whoa, whoa,” Dean laughs, “You won that round. This isn’t over.”
Cas narrows his eyes. “Cas I get that in writing?”
“If you insist,” Dean yawns. Castiel reaches into his night stand and holds up a pad of sticky notes. He writes both of their names on the top and then draws a line down the middle. He makes a tally mark under his own name.
“Weirdo,” Dean remarks fondly.
“You started it,” Cas shoots back. “Turn off the lamp?”
Dean reaches up and turns off the lamp on his nightstand, settling back in next to his boyfriend.
“Hey, Cas?” It’s easier to talk about this stuff now that the lights are completely off.
“Yes?”
“Thanks.”
“For what?”
Dean shrugs, even though he knows Cas can’t see it in the dark. “Everything. Trying this stuff out, getting my mind off work, taking care of me.”
Cas fumbles for Dean’s hand in the dark and squeezes. “Anytime.”