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There were few who knew Ardyn Izunia, and there were fewer who knew Ardyn Lucius Caelum.
There were, however, those who knew of the “Man of Many Hats.”
Without a keen eye and an acute amount of awareness, it was quiet easy to miss the Man of Many Hats. He seemed like just another ruffian whose odd little charms (could they be called charms?) and air of mystery could have both men and women alike swooning over him.
Of course, that was a lie. The Man of Many Hats was, in fact, Ardyn Izunia himself. He could pull neither men nor women nor anybody in or out of such confinements as he is the human equivalent to a smug cat staring at its owner as it knocks over a lifetime’s worth of riches. The stench of crime and misfortune trailed behind Ardyn, and he wore it almost like a badge of honor. You couldn’t miss him even if you tried.
…And, of course, instead of talking about how bloody suspicious he was, the entire population chose to focus on the man’s atrociously large hat collection.
Nobody knew where they came from. Nobody had an inkling of just what shops could sell such hats or what kind of shopkeeper would even sell him such hats. Some of them fit him perfectly, but others… eugh. Sure, merchants are supposed to sell as much of their wares as they could, but surely hat merchants had a sense of style, no? After all, knowing the best styles of the season was key to making sales. Surely one of them—enhanced sense of style and all—saw him pick out a hat and cringed due to the sheer dissonance, no?
…Yeah, no.
Merchants are, unfortunately, subject to the cruel claws of capitalism. Even if higher morality tells them to express their disgust for Ardyn and whatever clashing hat he had chosen, the cold, hard grip of wealth and fortune is enough to silence them into making a god awful sale.
Anyways.
It wasn’t just the ugly hats they talked about. In fact, such a subject was hardly ever a main topic. What people did talk about was, again, the sheer size of his hat collection.
Everyone who bore witness to Ardyn’s atrocious deeds claimed to have seen him wearing a different hat. When one man was at a stall trying to sell a few potions, he saw Ardyn at a nearby stall with a top hat. When he came the next day, he saw Ardyn again but with a cowboy hat. Since then, he has seen neither the cowboy hat nor the top hat, and the amount of hats he’s seen in his life has significantly increased in size. Thus, as time went on it became harder and harder to pinpoint Ardyn the Hat Man.
And this, friends, was exactly what the Hat Man had (hat) planned.
The less people who knew him not as Ardyn Izunia but as the Man of Many Hats, the better. ‘Tis but a tactical maneuver made only by a true mastermind.
Perhaps, when all is lost and forgotten, nobody would remember Ardyn Izunia. No mouth would utter his name. No eyes would envision his image.
But the Man of Many Hats… Yes, that was a character that many would remember.
And, so, as Ardyn Izunia stares out at the endless expanse of stars and other divine satellites, he smirks to himself.
Long live the Hat Man.