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Yuji is losing his mind, cooped up in a tiny house with Choso, a single television, his phone, and hardly anything else. It’s Yuji’s job to make sure Choso doesn’t get into trouble while all the old sorcerers determine whether or not Choso is allowed into their ranks. At least, that was the deal. Choso is weird—there’s no getting around it—but at this point, Yuji is pretty sure he’s harmless. It’s a little frustrating that Yuji is the only person who can go to bat for this curse-made-man, but it’s a relatively small price to pay for keeping him alive.
As Choso has stated repeatedly, he only cares about Yuji and what Yuji wants, which means Choso is perfectly content to lay low and stay hidden and do nothing, but it also means Yuji has almost no privacy. Choso makes their meals. He washes their clothes. He has to come along if Yuji ever needs to leave the house. He tried to sleep in the same room as Yuji too, and that has been the only boundary that Yuji has been able to establish with him since getting stowed away out here.
“I’m, uh, I’m a really light sleeper so I would really prefer to have my own room!” He’d spouted that off thoughtlessly with Choso standing in the archway of the one bedroom like some kind of sentry.
“Mm. You need your sleep. You’re right. I’m sorry.”
Choso took the cue and allowed Yuji to keep the bedroom to himself, but now Yuji feels a pang of guilt whenever he goes into his room to get away from Choso.
It’s not that Choso bothers him, not really. If Yuji’s being honest, Choso’s unflinching reliability is a comfort after everything he’s been through. It’s nice to come out of his room every morning and find food on the table and a person who doesn’t ask anything from him—except for near-constant surveillance. Yuji’s even gotten used to Choso referring to him as little brother. It’d probably be more alarming if Choso started using different words for him now, but the fact remains: sometimes Yuji wants to be alone. Sometimes he wants to sit in bed and look at dumb things online that Choso doesn’t understand.
Sometimes he wants to jerk off without the man calling himself big brother lurking over Yuji’s shoulder.
It’s one such night when Yuji goes to his bedroom early after dinner. He didn’t really mean for it to become that. He was on a phone call with Nobara and went online so he could show her something stupid, which devolved into idly scrolling through posts while they chatted, when he stumbled across the telltale rhythms of a porny video that made him lose his train of thought in the middle of his sentence. It was only after the call ended that he surreptitiously went back to find it, turned the lights off in his room, and let himself simmer in the heady feeling of watching two sets of hips grinding into one another.
Yuji’s face grows warm as he thinks about getting to do this with someone else. He hardly has any time to consider the things he wants. When he’s watching stuff like this, it’s not like he wants to be one of the people in the video. It’s just this sudden flare of embers in his belly at the thought of getting so caught up with another person that something like that just happens. Everything in his life is such a whirlwind, but the one thing he never gets is physical connection.
He’s had more than his fair share of wet dreams about fighting some curse and it all goes sideways and suddenly there’s things slithering all over him. Those are dreams laced with shame and guilt that he has to sneak off into the bathroom to clean up from while praying no one sees him. Lately his dreams are a lot less wet and a lot more Choso. Yuji can’t even get privacy from him in his dreams.
Those invasive thoughts are slipping back in, so Yuji shuffles his sweatpants down his thighs and tries to focus on the blood rushing through his body. There are no faces in this video clip, just someone’s absurdly red dick pressing against the folds of someone else’s cunt. The two people are rubbing against each other. The clip loops before any penetration, but Yuji’s brain is already unraveling as he fills in the gaps. The muscles in one set of tanned thighs tense at the pressure on this person’s clit, and Yuji wonders, not for the first time, what it feels like to have someone else inside his body. It must feel good, or else people wouldn’t be doing it with such reckless abandon.
Yuji’s breath catches as he touches his own cock. His doesn’t really look the same as the one in the video, but that doesn’t matter. When he was still in a normal high school, Yuji would sometimes worry about how he might shape up next to other guys his age, but these days, that isn’t so much a concern. He’s more worried he’ll never have the time to touch another human being at the rate he’s living this life. Who cares about size when the issue is possibility?
When he focuses on the video as hard as he can, he can almost sort of pretend someone else’s fist is wrapped around his dick as a jolt of sensations he can’t control zips up the tops of his thighs. It would probably be nice if he could slide inside a nice girl. He thinks about it with his hand moving faster, too much dry heat but that’ll change soon enough. He can’t for the life of him picture an actual girl, but that’s not why he’s doing this. It’s not like he has a crush on anyone, he’s just drowning in curiosity these days. More and more, his fantasies are changing shape. It used to be simple scenarios of going all the way with a pretty girlfriend, but lately, he spends an awful lot of time thinking about people who are much larger than him.
As his heart begins to pound, a scenario starts to take shape in his head, and he drops his phone as he closes his eyes. He’s with someone else. Someone nice. They’re a warm and gentle presence, and they’re telling him he’s doing a good job. They’re excited to see what happens. They want to know what it looks like when Yuji feels good, and he wants to show them so very badly. He pictures someone leaning over his hips, watching him jerk off, waiting for him to finish so they’ll feel it on their own skin. They don’t have a face, or even a solid body, because that doesn’t matter.
The sound of the door swinging open cuts through the haze and Yuji yelps as he pulls the covers over himself in some childish urge to hide from sight.
“What’s wrong?” Choso comes thundering down the hall into the room, and Yuji only just gets his pants back up around his waist.
“You can’t just barge in here!” Yuji pulls the covers off his face to glare at Choso.
Choso’s expression immediately settles when he sees Yuji in bed. “Your blood was rushing, so I thought you might be in danger.”
Yuji’s eyes pop open. “You could feel that?”
“Yes.”
Choso stands at the mouth of the hallway like some kind of revenant. It took several days for Yuji to convince Choso to wear regular clothes, so they could at least pretend he was normal when they went out for errands. It’s times like these that Yuji misses those old clothes. When Choso is standing in the darkness of his room, blocking the only exit, in tighter fitting, modern clothes, he somehow looks much more threatening. Maybe it’s because Yuji can see exactly how built he is, or that Choso suddenly looks much more human.
“I’m not in danger—can you please knock next time?”
Choso tilts his head up. He doesn’t even have his hair up right now, and Yuji has such a weird, cold fear at this person seeing him naked. “Is this another normal thing you’d like me to do?”
“Yes,” Yuji answers without thinking, but only after does he realize how mean this all sounds. He pulls himself upright so he can look at Choso. “Listen, I’m used to being on my own. I just want to have a little privacy, that’s all. I’m not mad at you or anything, I-I know you live differently.” Yuji laughs at the memory of the door banging open, wondering what danger Choso thought he was in. “You just scared me bursting in here like that.”
Choso crosses the room quickly, startling Yuji as he slips his hands around Yuji’s face without warning—practically everything he does is without warning, but the touching always unbalances Yuji twice as much.
“My life has no meaning without you,” Choso says, sleepless eyes boring into Yuji’s.
Yuji’s eyelids fly open, spine going stiff. “Uh.”
Choso always looks like his skin will be cold and clammy from the utter paleness of it, but it never is. He’s the warmest person Yuji’s ever touched. It must be his curse technique.
“I exist to protect my brothers,” Choso says. “You’re the only one I have now.”
Yuji startles out of his grasp, leaving Choso’s hands cupped around nothing. “Sorry. Sorry.”
He says it twice, once for pulling away, and once for being the reason that Choso only has one brother.
Choso straightens back up. “We talked about this. You don’t need to apologize anymore. Just let me watch over you.”
“Okay, okay, there are just some things I don’t want you watching,” Yuji rushes to explain as embarrassment blooms across his face. “We can’t do everything together.”
“What can’t I be here for?” Choso asks, and he sounds for all the world like he’s getting sad about it.
Yuji slaps his hands over his face, tilting his head back with a groan. “It’s not a big deal. I was just…thinking about stuff.”
The silence is deafening for a miserable five seconds before Choso simply says, “Oh.”
Yuji peeks at him between his fingers, and Choso takes a step back toward the hall.
“Goodnight,” is all Choso says.
Yuji doesn’t fully relax until Choso is out of the room. He pulls his hands off his face as the door clicks shut, only to see his phone still playing the video clip on loop in full view of where Choso was standing.
Well. At least Choso probably knows. Mortified, Yuji crawls back under the covers, unable to finish what he started.
That night, he dreams about a curse snaking into his bed, shadowy tendrils wrapping around his limbs as a voice promises him that it will pass if he only lets it touch. Of course Yuji resists, the sound of a curse-rotted voice automatically putting him into fight-or-flight, but as soon as he feels cool skin slipping down the front of his overheated uniform, dream logic kicks in and he tells himself, it’s just to get out of this bind. I’ll let the curse do what it wants and then I’ll get the upper hand.
He quickly forgets his own deal with heat rushing through his hips. He isn’t expecting the curse to slide down the other side of his uniform too, but soon enough his legs are being held apart and something is probing down his backside, and it stops being scary and starts feeling good, and he thinks, yeah, maybe it would be good there too, hands on every part of him. If he can blame the experience on a curse, it’ll be easier to ask for it later.
And then Choso rips the curse away, leaving Yuji exposed and hard in front of him.
“I’m sorry, little brother,” Choso says in his monotone voice. “The curse got to you. I have to finish the process. I need to protect you.”
And Yuji feels another rush of heat, embarrassment and shame vying with the excitement as Choso gets on his knees, and Yuji is panicking and stuttering, “wait wait wait,” but Choso grabs his ankle—they can’t be doing this, but if he knows one thing about Choso, it’s that Choso only does what’s best for Yuji. It felt good when the curse did it. Choso’s a curse too. Maybe, maybe it’s okay for Choso to do this.
When Yuji wakes up in bed, he is still in the motion of spreading his legs apart. Collapsing backward, he lets his heart settle down before bolting into the shower. There’s an echo of desire making him do the math on how likely Choso is to interrupt Yuji while he’s in the bathroom if he tries to jerk off again, and figures it’s not worth the risk. If he’s already naked in the shower, he won’t be able to hide anything from prying, sleepless eyes.
By the time Yuji makes it out into the tiny little kitchen, and the living room where Choso’s hardly used futon is, there’s food on the table and Choso is seated with an unopened stack of books next to his own plate. He was told to educate himself on modern times to make this process easier, but he hasn’t been particularly concerned with it so far.
“You slept in,” Choso mutters. “I’m sorry if I disturbed you yesterday.”
Yuji sort of deflates into the chair across from him. “It’s not a big deal. I think I’m just going stir crazy from sitting still for so long.”
“That’s also my fault,” Choso says back, unblinking.
Yuji shrugs. “I’m not mad.”
“Are you sure?” His expression is ever the same. It’s like speaking with a raven, or maybe a bear.
“Yeah,” Yuji laughs as he says it. “I’m just glad we’re both safe.”
“Sorry for interrupting you while you were pleasuring yourself.”
Like stepping on a piece of glass, Yuji goes bolt upright, eyes wide, blood roaring in his ears. He tries to laugh again, but it sounds like crinkled paper. The smell of the egg on his bowl of rice is suddenly much too strong.
“I haven’t thought about this since I was born,” Choso says with the same non-inflection he says most things. He sits a little hunched at the table, and it makes Yuji feel like he’s talking to a statue of some creature, not a flesh and blood person. Being the center of Choso’s focus is weighty on a good day, and today is a very bizarre day as Yuji is crushed by Choso’s sunken eyes.
“Admittedly, I haven’t been fully corporeal for very long,” Choso goes on. “But you and I have the same blood. If you feel something strongly, I start to feel it too.”
Yuji’s mouth peels open as questions pile up on his tongue. “Wait. Are you—what are you—what does that mean?”
Choso gives a small shrug. “The more you want to touch yourself, the more I want it as well.”
Yuji rests his elbows on the table just so he can bury his face in his hands. Electric embarrassment burns his entire body. “I’m sorry!”
“It doesn’t bother me,” Choso says back, nonchalant. “But I want you to get your relief. If I get it too, all the better.”
Yuji’s face is on fire. There’s no way the two of them are talking about jerking off over breakfast. Not like this, not with his brother.
“It’s only with you that these urges come up.”
Yuji wants to disappear.
“I suppose if I knew more about this world, it might be easier to fix, but we’re stuck in this place together as it is. It’s only you and I in here. Maybe we can help each—”
“Nope!” Yuji pulls his hands off his face, grabs the bowl of rice, and gets up from the table. “We’re not talking about this.”
“Oh.”
Yuji stalks over to the kitchen counter just to start shoveling food into his face with his back turned to Choso.
“I only thought, since you are so familiar with the…internet.”
Yuji slowly turns to look over his shoulder at Choso as he realizes what’s happening. Maybe he misread the situation after all.
“Wait. Are you asking me for, like, recs?”
Choso tilts his head. “I will like whatever you like.”
“I guess…I could…give you my phone…or something…”
“You’ll have to show me how it works,” Choso says, and Yuji turns away from him again.
Burning up from head to toe, Yuji just nods. This is not how he expected breakfast to go. Do regular brothers show each other porn? Do they talk about jerking off? He has no idea, and no one to ask, so he’ll just have to muscle through until this stops feeling so strange. At least this is also new for Choso. Standing in the corner of the room with a mouth full of egg and rice, Yuji has a strange thought as Choso’s words finally catch up to him.
“You’ve only been awake for a couple of months, haven’t you?” Yuji asks, braving another look at him.
“Technically, I’ve been alive for over a hundred and fifty years, but I’ve only been active in this form for a few months.”
“It’s like you were born a full grown adult,” Yuji says with a laugh.
Choso just stares at him. “Yes.”
“Huh…” Yuji drops his gaze just to spare himself the intensity of Choso’s focus.
A new emotion plants itself in Yuji’s belly as he finishes eating. Choso might technically be the older brother, but Yuji has lived more than he has. On top of that, apparently now Choso is being subjected to some of Yuji’s wants and needs. No wonder Choso is such a strange presence. A brand new adult body, over a century of consciousness, and now the urges of a teenager bleeding in. No one has ever lived like him.
Maybe Yuji should do better to help him adjust…relief should be the least of his concerns.
Yuji spends the day going back and forth in the echo chamber of his own brain as he tries to rationalize everything. Thanks to Sukuna, he knows curses have sex. It’s not like Choso wouldn’t have his own needs. Being here in this safe house is really the most logical time for this sort of thing to come to a head. Neither of them have anything better to think about right now. That’s a good thing. Really, in the grand scheme, Choso is a much better topic to eat up Yuji’s focus than fighting for his life.
So it’s probably okay for Yuji to show Choso how to look up porn on his phone. Right?
It’s not like Choso has anyone else he could ask. He probably wouldn’t even if he could. He wants everything to be a bonding activity, so maybe Yuji should just go with it for now.
Sprawled over the living room floor, Yuji stares at the ceiling while Choso sits on the tiny couch with his eyes closed. He does this every day, some kind of training involving his cursed technique. He looks half-dead, but Yuji can feel the energy pouring off of him. Despite it all, Choso’s rock solid presence is still a comfort, and Yuji knows how much he has come to appreciate being able to sit together like this and not get on each other’s nerves.
Not for the first time, Yuji tries to imagine what life would have been like if he’d been raised with Choso like real brothers. Someone as overprotective as Choso would have made everything so different. It’s impossible to even fantasize about what that life would have been like, but Yuji can’t help but think that it would have been nice to have grown up with that steadiness behind him from day one. Choso is weird, yes, but he’s constant, and strong, and he wouldn’t have been satisfied with anything short of Yuji’s best life. It might have been nice. It might have been the best.
But no matter how hard Yuji tries, he can’t grow familiarity where there isn’t any. Choso is still new to him, and the word brother still doesn’t have any taste to it. Even though Yuji feels shockingly comfortable sitting quietly with Choso, it’s not familial. It’s nothing like how it used to be with his grandfather. But, well, he shouldn’t hold Choso to that particularly odd candle.
It’s a blessing that Choso waits until after sunset to ask Yuji with no inflection, “Will you show me now?”
For some reason, the thought of any of this happening in the daylight is too much, but even so, Yuji feels stiff and awkward as he goes to his room to get his phone from where it’s charging. He startles when he feels Choso standing right behind him.
“Oh, uh, we can…”
Yuji’s voice dies in a pitiful sputter as Choso sits on the end of his bed.
“Okay,” Choso says, looking at him expectantly, and Yuji isn’t strong enough to resist the tide of awkwardness, so he just sits down next to Choso like a lead weight.
“I’ll just…show you some stuff, I guess?”
Choso is staring at the side of Yuji’s face.
“Uhm. Do you. Have, like, preferences or…?” Yuji’s entire body is retracting into itself as he pulls his legs up toward his chest. The phone feels like a brick in his hands.
“Preference for what?” Choso asks.
Yuji’s breaking into a sweat as he glances over at Choso. He’s always so much bigger than Yuji remembers until they’re close like this. For some reason, his mind wants Choso to be smaller, but maybe that was the old clothes.
“You know, do you like looking at girls or guys or what?” Yuji asks.
Choso holds his gaze, steadfast. “Guys.”
“Oh.” Yuji’s eyes widen before he forces himself to look at his phone again. “Uh. Cool. Yeah. S-sometimes I look at that too…”
He knows exactly what to search up, but the embarrassment of Choso watching Yuji’s phone autocomplete on familiar terms almost makes him chicken out, until he remembers that Choso has no clue how this technology works.
“You can just look through this site…just click on stuff that sounds like maybe you’ll like…”
Thrusting his phone toward Choso, Yuji waits for him to accept it and leave, but the sound of a moan spilling out of his phone makes Yuji startle like he’s been burned.
Yuji shrinks further in on himself as Choso simply stares at the screen where Yuji holds it. He looks fairly unimpressed, and Yuji wants to crawl into a hole.
“Show me one you like,” Choso says.
“What? Why?” Yuji knows his face must be bright red. The sounds of the video make him feel like he’s slipping on ice.
“I’ll like what you like.”
Yuji’s brain is screaming as he scrambles to turn off the video that’s already playing, backing out of a clip of a man bending another guy’s legs back as far as he can get them. Even through the bone-deep embarrassment, Yuji’s pulse thunders in his ears at the sight of someone else’s dick.
With his mouth twisted up, Yuji frantically scrolls until he finds the first relatively tame looking blowjob video and sticks his phone out again, hoping in vain that Choso will finally take the damn thing and go away.
But, no, the video starts up with soft, tinny sounds and someone going, “yeah?” in a dry voice, and Yuji covers his face with his free hand.
“Just take it,” he croaks, shaking the phone.
Choso doesn’t. “This excites you?”
“I don’t know, I guess!” Yuji turns his face down toward his bent knees and retreats as the unseen man in the video gives a breathy groan. “I’m still figuring this all out!”
“Have you…done this with someone?” Choso asks, and there is actually some tone to his voice as he asks. Curiosity, or, knowing Choso, more likely concern.
“If I could do this with someone, I wouldn’t be watching videos!” Yuji snaps back.
When Choso touches Yuji’s wrist, it’s like time briefly stops. Yuji forgets for a minute that it’s Choso. He feels warm, large fingers wrapping around his wrist in a slow, but deliberate motion while some stranger pants heavily through the speakers of his phone, and Yuji’s cock twitches as his brain immediately thinks touch me like that right now.
Remembering it’s Choso—the person who cares the most about their blood bond—makes the heat turn searing and painful. All Choso is doing is holding Yuji’s hand steady, and Yuji frowns as he peeks over to see.
Choso watches the video dispassionately. “Which one of them is dominant?”
“What?” Yuji’s brows furrow.
“It’s hard to tell which one of them is in control of the situation,” Choso says, and Yuji is about ready to die.
“I-It’s probably different every time, god, Choso, I don’t know. I don’t know how any of this works!” Yuji’s voice is about to break, and Choso’s hand is way too hot, and the man in the video sounds like he’s about to come.
“I’ve never messed around with guys,” Yuji squeaks out.
“Hm.” Choso’s gaze is mercifully fixed on the video right at the moment of someone’s release. They’re cursing and panting and Choso just nods. “I think I get it.”
“Does this even do anything for you?” Yuji asks. “It’s like you’re watching a nature documentary.”
The video ends and the silence rings, until Choso meets Yuji’s gaze and says, “I don’t get excited about strangers. How do you start it over?”
“W…why do you want to watch strangers if they don’t do anything for you?” Yuji asks.
“Seeing it and thinking about it are two different things. Is it this one?” Choso raises a finger to tap the phone screen and the damn video starts up again.
Yuji’s shoulders jump at the first moan like it’s a gunshot. “It’s not a test you have to pass.”
“In a way, it is,” Choso replies. “People like us aren’t trying to have children. There’s a point to it, isn’t there?”
“I guess…” Yuji mutters.
“You want to feel good,” Choso says, and Yuji hears it like a condemnation.
Ah, aah, a-ah, the guy in the video is so loud and Yuji’s dick is getting harder and he really does not want to have this conversation over porn like they’re discussing a play. Choso’s hand is so big around Yuji’s wrist, steady and warm and pulsing against his skin.
Yuji squirms as he tucks his legs up closer to hide his erection from sight. “You can just take the phone, you know?”
“Mm. I think I understand.”
Yuji’s shoulders sink down from his ears as he thinks that Choso will finally leave, and in the ensuing silence after the second video climax, Yuji realizes with a strange jolt that he is waiting for Choso to leave so he can go jerk off in the other room? What on earth was he thinking, agreeing to this? He really opened the door to something much stranger than he was ready for.
As his brain unhelpfully supplies an image of Choso, naked, his hand on his cock with zero emotion in his eyes, Yuji’s blood roars and his own dick painfully throbs. It shouldn’t be hot, it shouldn’t be hot, it shouldn’t be hot. Nothing about this is allowed to be arousing, but Yuji can’t get it out of his head that Choso feels much more like a curse than his brother right now.
Like all the curses Yuji has dreamed about taking advantage of him.
When the video starts up again, Yuji wants to cry. Only it’s not the same voices. Choso must have found a different video. Oh god. Braving another look up to see what the hell Choso did, Yuji’s hips are starting to throb with a miserable tightness. The screen is fully taken up by someone’s cock as a person licks up the full length of it unbearably slowly and Yuji squirms as he buries his face again.
“Choso.”
The fingers tense around his wrist.
“Sorry.”
Choso’s voice is quieter as he lets go of Yuji’s arm.
Yuji swears he can hear the desperate pulse just in his own cock.
And then Choso slides his hand over Yuji’s back.
Yuji’s whole body jumps. God, why does Choso always manage to touch Yuji at the worst possible times? It’s not just that he does it so suddenly, but it’s the way Choso touches Yuji like he owns Yuji.
“I’m trying to learn quickly,” Choso says, and his voice is way too close, right by Yuji’s ear. “I have to make sure I can help you.”
Yuji’s head snaps back up to meet Choso’s gaze, so incredibly close and heavy and intent and oh god, this wasn’t about porn at all.
Yuji yelps when Choso shoves his back to the bed, and Yuji claps his hands over his eyes as his legs twist up to try and keep Choso away.
“Stop, stop, stop, stop,” Yuji babbles, but Choso is undeterred, still trying to push Yuji’s legs apart.
“You need relief,” Choso says, wrestling Yuji’s ankles to the bed, and god he is still so much stronger than Yuji. “There’s nothing at risk if I do it.”
“It’s weird!” Yuji barks back at him, planting his hands on the bed to try and scoot his hips back.
“Why?” Choso only spares him a single, confused glance before he leans his head down toward Yuji’s achingly hard dick. “I exist to take care of you.”
“Not like this!” Yuji throws his hands out to catch Choso’s face, and the two of them stare at each other in a tangle of limbs. The heat pouring off Choso and into Yuji’s hands is unreal.
“I see no reason why I can’t,” Choso says.
Yuji feels like he’s holding back the jaws of a hungry lion.
“I don’t…think we’re supposed to…” Yuji mutters, a weak defense even in his own ears.
“Then don’t tell anyone,” Choso says back.
His hand darts out and Choso yanks the edge of Yuji’s pants down before Yuji can react. Too startled to think clearly, Yuji just yips, “I can do this myself!”
Choso forges ahead, shouldering Yuji’s leg out of the way as he tries to pull the blue waistband of Yuji’s underwear down. “Your blood is my blood. What difference does it make if I do it?”
Yuji doesn’t know what to say to that. He’s right, of course. They do share blood. Normally, that’d be exactly what Yuji would say to stop Choso from touching him, so to hear him say it now as a justification makes Yuji’s head spin. No matter how many times Yuji says it in his head—you’re my brother and you shouldn’t be doing this—nothing about Choso feels the way he thinks a brother should feel.
And it’s not like his dick is getting any less hard with Choso holding his legs apart.
Choso’s gaze flicks up to Yuji’s, holding it in the panicked silence.
“Do you hate it when I touch you?” Choso asks, sliding his pale hand up Yuji’s hip.
His skin is so hot, like he has machinery instead of blood. Yuji shuts his eyes, unable to look at his own erection poised under Choso’s head. He’s never been very good at lying, and Choso can damn well see how desperate Yuji is. What’s the point in pretending anyway?
Yuji shakes his head as his heart hammers away. He just can’t come up with a good enough reason, not when Choso is so determined.
“Good,” Choso says.
He goes right back to yanking Yuji’s pants and underwear off, and Yuji gives a shout as Choso lifts his legs off the bed to do it. Yuji is dizzy as he realizes they’re really about to do this, that Choso is this adamant about it, that Yuji is about to let a guy do stuff to him. If he weren’t already laying down, he might have lost his balance at the headrush.
Yuji throws his arms over his face when he feels hot breath on his dick. He’s panting, but it’s somewhere between the sounds of a terrified animal and reckless arousal. Choso puts the pad of one finger onto the base of Yuji’s cock, and Yuji’s shoulders jump. He grits his teeth as warm skin wraps around his, and Choso makes some kind of contemplative hm as Yuji braces.
The unmistakable feeling of curse energy fills the air before wet heat envelops the head of Yuji’s dick. The most embarrassing noise Yuji has ever made comes careening out of him. It’s so wet. His entire lower half twitches as Choso slides Yuji into his mouth. The sensation is loud, louder than fireworks going off in his ears, and Yuji bites his lip through another swell of shame that he is letting Choso do this. It’s wrong, it’s wrong, it should be wrong, why doesn’t it feel wrong?
“O-oh no.” Yuji’s voice shudders as his thighs tense, and his blood surges.
Choso is sucking on him, and Yuji can’t stop his hips from pushing up into the feeling. His body is reacting so swiftly, giving in much faster than his brain is willing to.
“Oh no, oh no, oh no.” Yuji pulls on his own hair as he reflexively starts to squirm away from the pleasure that’s building up much too quickly. Choso’s pressing his tongue against Yuji as he grips the backs of Yuji’s thighs to push them apart. Yuji is screaming in his head not to explode so quickly, but god he’s been thinking about this very thing for so long.
Choso slides his mouth up higher so he can brush his tongue right over the slit on Yuji’s cock and Yuji feels like he’s going to break in half. Maybe Choso will just pull him apart. Maybe that will be easier than dealing with all of this. This is so much slower and gentler than Yuji ever is with himself, but he can’t hold his own legs down or tongue at the subtle curve of his own dick, or, or, or—
“Choso, stop,” Yuji whines as Choso swallows up every inch of him, and Yuji buckles, bends, and finally breaks as he comes in Choso’s throat. But it doesn’t just end there. Yuji’s limbs are going heavy, and Choso is still sucking and swallowing everything up, but now the embarrassment doesn’t feel the same. This isn’t the shame he felt earlier. This is like the time Yuji’s grandfather cleaned his face up in front of all his school friends when he was still a child, but he felt like he was too old to be seen getting cared for like that.
It’s not that he hated getting cleaned up. He didn’t. He kind of likes it. But there’s still something embarrassing about letting another person do this for him. Yuji doesn’t want to be a burden, but he never considered if someone else might like for him to let them.
Choso is cleaning him up, like a cat would for a kitten. Yuji feels hazy and strange, still caught in the embers with Choso’s mouth firmly stuck on him, even if he’s got no more to give. His skin is oversensitive, his body jumpy, and the longer Choso stays on him, the more delirious Yuji feels.
“I…I think you got it…” Yuji mumbles.
Choso still takes his time getting every bit of mess off of Yuji’s skin before he picks himself up, leaning his hands onto the bed on either side of Yuji’s chest. It takes a few seconds for Choso’s face to come into focus through the daze as Yuji looks back up at him.
His eyes. Yuji has never seen Choso’s eyes so bright before. Yuji’s breath catches, the hair on the back of his neck standing on end the way it sometimes does right before he stumbles into a cursed trap. Choso doesn’t just look like a curse. He looks like a predator.
“So…cute…” Choso mutters.
Yuji goes stock still as a droplet of blood wells up along that black mark that cuts across Choso’s face. It streaks down Choso’s pale cheek, until it's close enough to his mouth that he can lick it off of his skin. Yuji’s gaze is fixed on that trail of red like it’s his own blood.
“Show me another one,” Choso says.
“What?” Yuji croaks.
“Another video,” Choso says, leaning closer. “What else can I do to you?”
Yuji’s shoulders twitch. “T-that’s not necessary! You already did it and—and I couldn’t anyway! You got it all, I have to wait!”
“You don’t have to wait with me,” Choso says.
“No, you don’t understand I—” Yuji rushes to try and explain, but Choso puts a hand on top of Yuji’s flaccid dick, and the curse energy he was scared of tripping over before goes pouring into him.
“Put another video on,” Choso says again.
There is energy spilling into Yuji’s blood. His entire body is reacting to Choso’s technique, and the loss of control is so much wilder than it is when he dreams about it. His limbs feel heavy and light at the same time as he paws over the covers for his phone. The embers are heating up again, Choso adding oxygen with his own breath, and Yuji tries and fails to keep himself from whimpering at the blood rushing back to his hips.
“What—” His legs jump as he starts to get hard under Choso’s hand again, all that emptiness from coming before now chased away by Choso’s power. “W-What do you want me to put on?”
His voice is already strained as Choso coaxes him back up.
“Show me what you like.”
Yuji can hardly think straight. His body is hungrier than his brain can handle. He has no idea what he really likes, but he knows what he watches, and what he thinks about. He knows now that Choso is ready to do just about anything. Maybe this is the best time to try something new.
Yuji holds the phone in his heavy hands. “You…you won’t tell anyone about all of this, right?”
Choso holds his gaze. “I don’t care about anyone else.”
With Choso holding him by the cock, Yuji searches up a video with clumsy fingers, hardly able to breathe with the weight of whatever is about to happen. It’s a video he only recently found, and he’s pretty sure it’s not even that exciting, but something about how slowly the one guy was moving inside the other made him crazy.
Burning up from head to toe, Yuji tries to hand Choso the phone, but Choso only drops down onto the bed and hugs Yuji’s back to his chest.
Apparently they’re both going to watch.
Yuji leans his phone against the wall so he can hit play and cover his face. He stiffens up as Choso slides his hands back around Yuji’s body.
Choso makes a soft noise. “Do you have any of this fluid they’re using to—”
“No!” Yuji squeaks out. “I’ve never done this with anyone.”
“Mm…” Choso drags his hand down Yuji’s thigh as one of the guys in the video curses like he cut himself.
Yuji can see the screen through his fingers, the guy’s face as someone else is putting their dick inside him, and even though he knows logically that this is a performance, the look on the guy’s face is so aroused, so wanting. It must feel good to be like that.
Choso lifts Yuji’s leg up and he yelps again. “Wait, wait—”
“We just need fluid,” Choso says. “Easy enough.”
Yuji feels Choso shuffling around behind him while the two people in the video rock back and forth, moaning loudly as Yuji’s own heart races. The guy on the bottom is begging for more as Choso presses something warm up against Yuji’s ass. That must be his dick. Yuji can’t breathe.
He wants to know what it feels like. He wants to know so bad.
It’s a strange and exhilarating sensation when Choso pushes the head of his cock right against Yuji’s hole without actually trying to get inside him. Yuji bends his leg up higher, letting in more of these impulses while Choso starts rubbing himself against Yuji’s ass.
Choso breathes in Yuji’s ear and Yuji isn’t prepared for how excited he sounds.
“Yu…ji…”
It’s already wet. Yuji’s hand darts out to hold his own leg up. He can’t think about anything else except what they’re trying to do. It’s too late to care about wrong or right, he can feel Choso’s cum and it’s so warm and they’re both hard now.
“You do want me,” Choso sighs.
Yuji barely recognizes Choso’s voice like that. This is what he sounds like when he’s excited. It’s hard to hear over Yuji’s own panting, but there’s tension building up inside of Choso just from touching Yuji and Yuji’s pretty sure he likes that sound. The video already ended, but Yuji doesn’t notice when he’s so focused on the gathering wetness inside him and Choso’s hot skin and his frantic breaths and the noises Choso keeps making. It’s not like the video at all, but Yuji is achingly hard again. He doesn’t want to look at anything else, not while his body is screaming for the next step.
Choso grips Yuji’s ass when he comes, and Yuji hears himself whine at the rush of warmth. Wasting no time, Choso slides his hand down and immediately sheathes one of his fingers through the mess and into Yuji’s ass.
Yuji gasps at the intrusion as gooseflesh ripples down his chest.
“Don’t worry.” Choso sets his mouth on Yuji’s head, his finger pressing in deeper as he tries to work in more cum. “It won’t be as quick when I’m really inside you.”
It does feel good. Yuji’s nipples are hard too, and his hips keep trying to roll in little useless motions, and Choso is steadily moving his finger in and out of Yuji’s body to try and get more cum inside of him. Yuji grips the covers and braces his feet so he can pick his waist up. He moans into the bedspread, sweat breaking over his whole body at the sensation crashing through him.
“Thank you,” Choso says. “I need more room than this.”
He slips another finger inside Yuji, and it’s like he turned Yuji’s volume up. If someone else heard, they’d probably think Yuji was sobbing. Maybe he is.
It’s even better than he thought it would be.
“Yuji…”
Choso sounds like he’s tasting the name as he presses in with his other hand. He’s tucking in another finger. He’s holding Yuji open wider as his dick gets hard again.
“I’ll help you, Yuji.”
He sounds drunk as he presses the head of his cock in again. Yuji pushes his hips back, gritting his teeth when it’s just a little too tight. Choso is stretching him open, scissoring his fingers apart to feed his cock to Yuji while Yuji drips onto the bedspread. He may not know about brothers, but he thinks maybe it’s not so bad to need this one.
“You’re mine,” Choso murmurs as he finally gets the thickest part of himself tucked inside.
“Mine.” Choso’s fingers dig into the meat of Yuji’s thigh, trying to push his hips in closer. More skin, more inches to choke on.
Yuji whines again, dredging his voice back up. “T-too dry.”
“I’ll give you more,” Choso promises, grabbing the inches that aren’t inside Yuji so he can fill Yuji up again. “Anything for you…”
Yuji is drowning. Maybe it’s part of Choso’s curse. Maybe that’s why it feels so good. There has to be something to explain why this thing, which Yuji knows with every fiber of his being that he’s not allowed to do, feels better than anything he has ever done. Choso must feel good too, or else he wouldn’t keep making those quiet little moans on every other breath.
“Is this—what you wanted?”
Choso’s coming again as he asks, and only then does Yuji remember that he’s not human. He can probably just keep doing this. Yuji groans at the sudden spike of pressure in his own body, the ache in his own cock. He wants to come so bad.
“Ch-choso,” he wrests the word up out of his stomach. “Please. Do something. I’m so hard.”
Choso’s hand is perfect when he puts it around Yuji. He barely has to do anything, and Yuji starts to fall apart. There’s no more room in Yuji with Choso steadily working inside, they have to get everything else out of him. All of it, all of it, spilling all over his bed as Choso pushes himself deeper and deeper until he can’t get any further.
“Yuji.” Choso says his name in awe. “I’ll always take care of you.”
Yuji shudders with the last of it out of him, one last stroke of Choso’s hand before he starts to go soft. His breathing is a mess, and he’s still full up with Choso, and it doesn’t feel any less good. When Choso picks up where he left off, gripping Yuji’s hips to find a new pace, Yuji tries better to keep his legs up out of the way. Choso wraps his arms around Yuji’s middle, keeping Yuji locked in place while he slowly feels Yuji from the inside.
He thought it would stop feeling good after he came, but Yuji still can’t think straight with Choso steadily fucking him with more and more insistence. If Choso can just keep doing this, there’s no way to know how long they’ll be here, and Yuji is already melting into nothing but raw sensation.
It is good when Choso takes care of him. It’s even better to let Choso use his body for pleasure. This is a much better thing than bearing curses. He’s not sure he could say it, but feeling Choso losing control over and over again is just as exciting and dangerous as any fight he’s ever been in.
Nobody needs to know but them.
Yuji starts to wilt without permission, his body going slack as his eyelids grow heavier, and Choso stops to check in on him.
“Yuji,” he whispers in Yuji’s ear. “Did you get what you wanted?”
Exhausted and limp, Yuji just nods with his cheek against the sheets. In all the wild movement, the covers on the bed have gotten squished against the wall.
“You’re still…hard…” Yuji mutters.
Choso pulls out of him, and Yuji shivers at the mess left behind, but he’s too tired to care. Easing Yuji onto his back, Choso guides him up to put his head onto a pillow, kneeling over top of Yuji’s hips. Yuji has to pry his eyes back open, gaze flicking up and down between Choso’s red tinged face and his still-hard dick.
“Do you ever get enough?” Yuji asks, voice wrung out and exhausted.
Choso looks over Yuji’s body with blatant hunger in his eyes. “Not of you.”
“I’m…just tired,” Yuji says, adding with a laugh, “Sorry.”
“Just one more?” Choso asks, voice straining for politeness through the steam.
Yuji’s face burns, once again shrinking away from the intensity of that gaze. He had no idea it was possible for anyone to want him this badly. Against his better judgment, Yuji nods, hopelessly curious about what else Choso wants. Choso picks Yuji’s hand up in his, gentle but firm, and wraps it around his dick. Yuji gets a jolt through his spine like he’s the one getting touched as Choso leans his other hand on the bed beside Yuji’s head.
There’s nothing to look at but Choso as he moves Yuji’s hand over his skin. He’s still covered in his own cum and Yuji’s fingers glide over all that rushing blood. Mouth open, Choso stares directly at Yuji, panting like an animal with both their hands twined over his cock. Yuji isn’t even really doing anything, yet this is somehow more intimate than everything that came before. Frantically looking between Choso’s eyes, Yuji tips right over the point where he could still close his eyes, and suddenly it is though he’s been pinned without pins. He can’t look away. He just has to watch.
Choso’s hair must have come undone sometime between watching videos and now, and it hangs around his face. Choso—on his hands and knees, poised over top of Yuji while he jerks off into Yuji’s hand—has never looked more human. When the mark on his nose starts bleeding again, Yuji holds his breath as warm red beads drip onto his own face and he still can’t look away. With Choso in control of the pace, Yuji doesn’t have to worry about doing it wrong, and his eyes flash as he feels even more warmth start to dot his stomach.
Yuji must be beat red as he finally accepts that he likes this, he likes Choso’s body, the hardness of him, the strange recklessness of Choso’s excitement, the shape of his cock, how it feels in his hand and inside him, and maybe this was the worst possible idea, but he’s pretty sure he’s going to let Choso do this again.
Other people might do brotherhood differently, but they’re not exactly normal. If trying to think about Choso like a brother got him here, maybe Yuji should just stop trying to be normal at all.
Yuji startles when Choso comes onto his stomach and chest, Choso’s breath leaving him in a guttural sigh that makes Yuji flush the way the porn did at the start of this. It’s all so warm and wet and tense, until Choso finally starts to go soft. When Choso lets Yuji’s hand go, Yuji lets himself relax again, gross as they both are, but he’s so tired, he can’t care.
“You really…had a lot in you,” Yuji says with an awkward laugh.
Choso’s gaze flicks over Yuji’s face, and he brings his hand up to his mouth to lick his own thumb before trying to wipe the blood from Yuji’s cheek.
“Ah, Choso—” Yuji turns away. “I’m not a little kid!”
“I got you dirty, so I should clean you up,” Choso says back, all the frantic energy gone from him once again as he diligently starts rubbing his own blood away.
And somehow this is more embarrassing than letting Choso fuck him.
“You’re filthy,” Choso mutters, like he’s only just now seen the mess. “Let me wash you off.”
“Wha—hey!”
Without asking, Choso starts hauling Yuji up off the bed and into his arms.
“I’ll take care of it,” Choso says.
And Yuji simply huddles in Choso’s arms, knowing now it’s completely pointless to fight.
“Fine…”
Choso’s back straightens as he carries Yuji to the bathroom. Pressing his pout to Choso’s shoulder, Yuji mumbles, “Just…warn me next time…”
“I want you to be happy.”
“That’s not a response.”
“I’ll do my best, little brother.”
Yuji lets it go as Choso sets him down in the washroom and starts up the water. He feels smaller than ever with Choso hosing him down like a child, dispassionately wiping all the cum off of him like it’s any other stain. Leaning back against the tiled wall, embarrassment turning his body stiff, Yuji holds his hand out. Choso pauses, his eyes flashing with a spark of understanding, and he takes Yuji’s arm to run the water over it.
“I’m not a little kid,” Yuji reminds him.
Choso looks just as pleased as he did after coming all over Yuji’s stomach. “Yes.”
Yuji closes his eyes as Choso washes him. He doesn’t need to say anything. He can’t say anything. Everything has changed, and somehow, nothing at all has changed.
Choso has only ever done the same thing. He is taking care of Yuji. He will take care of Yuji. No matter what that means.
Wordlessly, Yuji takes his wet hands and reaches up to clean the tear streaks of blood off of Choso’s face before sticking his hands back between his thighs. He won’t say it, but Choso knows it already. This is only the first time of many.
“What do you want for dinner?” Choso asks as he rinses Yuji’s thighs.
Yuji almost laughs. “Whatever you’re making.”