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Beta wakes up to a loud bang and a louder curse.
It's not the first time - falling asleep in the foyer has it's drawbacks - but Beta is a bad sleeper as it is, and she feels the headache brewing before she even opens her eyes.
"Ugh, Aloy." She groans, listening to the seemingly endless chorus of metal gear hitting the floor inside. She's gone straight to her room; never a good sign, even if it is the middle of the night, and Beta was waiting up for her. Or at least, she tried too.
Her back hurts from the uncomfortable position, but the pain still comes with that delectable knowledge that she did that herself. She chose to sleep there and damn herself to this. It's been a long day of research, and watching Aloy's exploits through her focus when she's feeling brave enough to take a look. That's how she knew she was nearby. Or at least she had been, some time ago, before some inevitable diversion had delayed her. Beta is used to it now.
She's not normally nervous entering Aloy's room but once the door beeps open, she's caught, as if up against some kind of force field derived from her own awkwardness. Aloy starts at the sound but otherwise does nothing, simply nodding in her direction as if that is an appropriate way to greet someone. She looks a little banged up, a little sunburned too, and Beta wonders momentarily what it must feel like. Unpleasant, probably.
Aloy is still learning that it's not socially correct to leave without saying goodbye, or not greet someone when you enter a room. She's getting better, but prefers to launch straight into business. Beta doesn't mind, but it takes time to overcome a life of not speaking unless spoken to, and it would certainly make these moments easier if one of them could just do the regular thing.
She forces through it, slowly at first but then all at once, powering through the irritatingly thick air to where Aloy is sitting cross legged on her bed, fiddling with something Beta can't see, and comes to an abrupt halt a suitable distance away. There's a strange smell in here, one that Beta can't place, and she wrinkles her nose before she can stop the instinct.
"Hello, Aloy. I was hoping we could discuss…" Beta trails off as her fears settle and the image in front of her comes into clearer focus.
Aloy looks just as confused as Beta feels - she is probably mirroring that same furrowed expression right back at her - and she's surrounded by plants that she's clearly ripped straight from the ground. Plants with big, vibrant leaves and growth-like buds, which pull together the scene enough that it clicks.
"Oh my god."
The frown deepens. Aloy straightens, suddenly a lot less relaxed; a state that itself is explained by the suddenly very apparently smokey hue the room had. Aloy's agitation rises to the surface.
"What?" She demands, and Beta is faced with a couple of options as far as counter questions are concerned. She hasn't had a lot of time to look into the local flora and fauna that have made their way back into existence, but it stands to reason…
"Aloy, is that marijuana?" She settles on just asking, because all clues point to yes, and Aloy frowns. She looks at her hands, at the pipe that really brings the scene together, then back to Beta as her brain whirs.
"It's medicinal." She says, confusion all over her features. "What?"
Beta feels a genuine smile creep across her features. All the TV she had watched had led her to believe that this was typically a much more dramatic situation, but Aloy doesn't look scandalised and doesn't try to hide it. If anything, she's the one that looks worried. Beta is quick to wave her away.
"It's nothing. That's just a really old plant."
Aloy frowns. "I just picked this."
Beta barks a laugh. "Okay." She says. "I didn't know GAIA had prioritised it, but it makes sense. Do you use it a lot?"
Aloy shrugs, but the movement is visibly painful for her, and that natural pit of fear in Beta's stomach deepens. She must wear it on her features, because Aloy rolls her eyes in that usual self-destructive instinct that truly differentiates them.
This is where Beta would have chastised her, if it were still those early weeks almost alone in the base together, but she's learned since then. A simple glare will work just fine. Aloy breaks quick.
"I, uh, dislocated my shoulder a few days ago." She admits, sheepish and awkward like it's somehow embarrassing that she got hurt. She rushes to explain. "Erend popped it right back in, so I'm fine, just stiff."
"Aloy-" Beta warns, but she doesn't follow through on the complaints. She's gotten better at that (cutting herself off before she drives Aloy insane), and she's going off topic anyway. "Does it get you high?" Faced with only more confusion, Beta thinks she has her answer, but there's something about the dazed look in Aloy's eyes that strikes her funny, so she elaborates. "Like being drunk but different?"
"I guess?" Aloy squirms. She places her pipe back down, amongst the frankly huge amount of greenery she had collected, and begins fruitlessly tearing at her clothes. Trying to get the last of the heavier armour off. Beta rolls her eyes.
"Let me do it." She says, half begging because it really is that pathetic, and starts the familiar task of undoing Aloy's knots and straps once she gets her go-ahead. She's done this so often now, but it still makes her stomach churn to leave her in her underclothes, despite that still being plenty of fabric between them. Aloy lets her work, only jerked back to life when Beta slides her shoulder pads down, and the hurt must come rushing back.
"I'm in it mostly for the pain relief. The, uh, 'high' isn't so good."
"Really? Do you get side effects?"
Aloy doesn't seem as cagey tonight, and answers swiftly. "I guess. I get weird with people."
"You're always weird with people."
"I can be worse." Beta believes her.
Now that Aloy is left in just her soft leggings and breastband, Beta sits across from her other half and tries to imagine what Aloy must be like when she ever overdoes it. Knowing Aloy, she's definitely gone a little green over the years. She's probably used this stuff her whole life.
It's these thoughts that often spur a run of jealousy. Not of Aloy specifically - not anymore - but of everyone else. Those who had had a fair shot. The people who had been living on this Earth longer than her. She swallows it down like dry food.
"The Zeniths liked this stuff at some point." Beta doesn't know why she speaks up, because Aloy doesn't really like to talk about them, but she does anyway. "They ran out of it well before I was around, like they ran out of anything recreational, but they didn't have anything like this either." She reaches out to touch the pipe in Aloy's lap, just in case it's hitting her hard. Better to avoid miscommunication; it's bitten them both enough.
Aloy nods, and slowly holds it up for her to inspect; wooden and oddly beautiful, but certainly not Nora to her limited knowledge. This is probably a local apparatus.
"The Tenakth have a few different methods for using it, but the Nora always used these. Others do too. So when I found one, and the plant, and my shoulder hurt-" Aloy tries to shrug again, and grits her teeth when she inevitably suffers for it. "It felt like fate, I guess, but I wanted to get back here first though."
Aloy isn't really much of a talker, usually preferring purposeful, clipped sentences. She speaks faster than usual under the influence. It's cute. Beta wishes desperately that she had chosen to sit closer, and despite how she knows Aloy will seek out touch with abandon once she's ready, she's impatient. Aloy is a difficult kind of awkward that needs to be cracked a certain way for each new interaction, but Beta thinks she might have carved some shortcuts.
"Do you need anything more than that?" Beta is sure she has some painkillers somewhere, but Aloy shakes her head.
"It's not that bad, I'm being careful. Erend was there!"
"Erend being there is not as reassuring as you think it might be." Beta says, and Aloy tilts her head in concession. Her hair makes that clacking sound it makes that surely must put her in harm's way more often than not. Beta can't believe this is all real.
"How do the Tenakth use it then?" She asks, and Aloy immediately launches into a tirade about how all the clans use cannabis - from ritual to recreational to simply as an ingredient - which is perfect. Beta doesn't feel like talking much, and is happy to just sit and listen. She's been trying to wrap her head around the culture for a while anyway, mostly through stories from Aloy's friends or through her Focus, and it's all very interesting, but really she's just happy to listen to Aloy talk. About anything really.
She could fall asleep like this. It sounds rude in her head, but it's not. There's an uncanny comfort in Aloy's presense that she knows isn't just hers; everyone talks about it, this thing Aloy has that makes people want to be around her. Makes them trust her. That makes them ready to die for her if she will just let them.
There's a dig at her leg. Aloy just shoved her. "Ow, why did you do that?"
"You weren't listening." Aloy is looking over at her with narrow, watery eyes. Pretty.
It's not the first time she's thought that, but it still startles her a little. Beta has never thought of herself as… anything really, but Aloy is pretty.
"Well, what did I miss?"
Aloy flourishes the pipe between her fingers, but keeps her eyes on Beta. There's a ghost of a smile in there, a challenge, and Beta takes the bait readily.
"Um, yes. Okay." Beta sits up quickly, regretting it instantly when the draft hits her neck. "I've actually never tried it."
Aloy makes a sound at the back of her throat, like she's just realised how much she talked already and doesn't like it. Beta takes the pipe from her; slow and gentle, like she might scare the great Champion away. She's still never sure what to expect with Aloy, and this is just another new version to contend with. Aloy straightens up with her, and works to strike a flame before Beta has even wrapped her head around what she's doing. She's gotten like that recently. Beta doesn't mind it.
"Slow down." Beta says, rolling her eyes so Aloy knows she means no harm. She knows (in basic theory) how to do this, but still takes the time to view her tools before attempting to use them. Seems simple enough.
Aloy has her hunter face on - quiet, still as stone - which is something Beta rarely gets to see. It's absurdly placed given the circumstances, but Beta wonders idly what that reason could be. Aloy is probably somewhere deep in thought, but is equally present here with her, waiting to be called upon. Reliable. Oh yeah, Beta is meant to be trying this…
"Okay." She says, and Aloy lights the end for her. Beta takes in a lungful of air expecting the burn, but her throat still closes up around it, and suddenly she's coughing harder than she ever has before.
It feels like air is being sucked directly from her throat, but Aloy's hand is firm on her back, and water has materialised from nowhere ready to go, which Beta takes without really caring how long Aloy has carried it around with her. There's probably brand new bacteria in there, unknown to science and flesh eating to boot, but she doesn't care.
"Not so bad for your first time." She focuses on the ease in Aloy's voice, like she is just about managing to keep back the laughter. It sounds good in her timbre. When Beta manages to catch her breath long enough to blink back the tears, the grin has already broken through. Beta swats her away.
"Thanks." She says, only half sarcastic. "Here, show me how you do it then."
Aloy is an impatient teacher. Beta has already faced the brunt of this every time she's tried sparring with her, or target practice, or - god forbid - riding those machines. She's fearless, where Beta very much is not, but she's different today. The low stakes have allowed her to keep her head, and she's cocky when she manages to take an uneventful pull, blowing it out like second nature. She has no reason not to be.
"See." She says, as Beta glares. "It's about practice."
"If you say so."
They pass it back and forth until Beta gets it right, and by then, maybe she has gone too far. Beta's nerves are sparking, but dull at the same time, and she has found herself curled up at Aloy's side. Her head has fallen heavily on Aloy's shoulder (careful to be sure it isn't her bad side), only fully relaxing when Aloy doesn't seem bothered by her presence.
It's nice - the high - but Beta can see where Aloy might not like it. If she were to suddenly think of something she forgot to do, Aloy is likely to try and go and do it anyway. It would be difficult to stop her, and likely she would mess it up. Beta slides her hand into Aloy's between them, and the scratch of her callouses feels like a hot drink on a cold day, and spreads along her bones the same.
It must be late, but Beta isn't tired. Aloy's chest rises and falls steadily, and there's a line of old bruises disappearing into fabric that Beta recognises. It's blatant - too obvious, wearing them like that - but Aloy is clearly not uncomfortable showing them off, and it quells the sudden guilt. In fact, there's something else brewing in her chest, and it can only be pushed down so far.
"I can't believe there was a time before this." Beta hears her own voice but is still shocked by the words; not unusual, but it leaves her vulnerable. She forces herself to work on her breathing. Matching it with Aloy's.
"You don't talk about it much." Aloy considers her words before she speaks. She must be looking down at her, because Beta feels the heat in her words grazing along her forehead, and fights not to look up. "Do you want to?"
"No." Beta cringes at herself. "Not right now anyway." She shakes the thought away before it can tangle itself up with her brain. "I just want to be here."
Aloy makes an agreeing sound. "Are you happy?"
"I think so." Beta feels a sudden wash of anxiety. "Are you?"
"Yes." She answers faster than Beta's brain is functioning right now.
"That was quick." Beta teases, because the relief is more than the high, and tightens her hold around Aloy's wrist.
"Yeah." Aloy breathes. Her whole body tenses, before she releases with her words, curling around Beta the way a vine does a dying tree. "So, what do you think of the, uh, the stuff?" Aloy waves away the forgotten word, because she's comfortable that she will be understood. Beta cannot fathom why it excites her.
"Not sure, definitely not in any pain anyway."
"Were you?" Aloy's head jerks up - trying to look her over without jostling her too much - but Beta doesn't let her worry. Aloy is always worried.
"No, but the effects are the same whether there's pain or not." Beta sighs. "It makes cuddling even better too." Beta baulks again. "I don't believe I just said that."
"No, I like it." Aloy is not fidgeting as much as she usually does when conversation gets personal, but then again neither is Beta. She feels the need as soon as she remembers that she can. "I like listening to you talk."
Beta can't wrap her head around that, but her natural instinct to argue has been dulled by the evening, and as such she just lets the words wash over her. Aloy's eyes burn holes into the top of her skull.
"You're staring."
"I like looking at you." Aloy counters, and even though Beta has been with her for a few months now at least, it still shocks her- how forthright Aloy is with her. She's known to lie when she needs to, and hardens up around the edges when she does, but not lately. Beta is actually starting to believe her when she's sweet.
"You're high."
"I told you, it makes me weird. Too honest." Aloy says, breathy and smiling and just so pretty. Beta watches her fingertips glance thoughtlessly across Aloy's bare skin, through the soft hair around her navel, and Aloy shivers. "I want to kiss you." She says.
Beta feels the air stolen out of her lungs like a hammer to the chest, for the second time tonight.
"I want you to kiss me."
Alpy releases the breath she had been holding, and cups Beta's face carefully, tilting it up towards her own. Beta feels weightless, spurred on by the buzzing in her head and the gleam in Aloy's eyes, and meets her halfway.
No one else knows that they do this. Not even Aloy's friends, apparently. Sylens might, but what he knows, he keeps to himself, so the effect is the same. Beta thinks it should feel more shameful, like a dirty secret that she wouldn't dare let anyone hear, but the truth is that she doesn't really care, and doesn't want to. Aloy's teeth close around her bottom lip, and Beta bites back even as she lets Aloy climb into her lap.
A playful Aloy is rare, and Beta feels paranoia creep into her bones when faced with it. Another unfamiliar thing. Something she doesn't know how to react to. Her brain rushes in with the information that this is all just the effects of the drug she has just partaken in; a common side effect, which Aloy had also warned her about. She forces it down.
"You're in a good mood." She says, and Aloy shrugs (and winces), and tries to deflect.
"Are you in a bad mood?"
"No."
Aloy laughs, low and rumbling under her hands. Beta giggles along with her, and she really doesn't know where that came from, but Aloy's eyes go wide and curious at the sound.
"You're an idiot." Beta blurts outs, which is bait that Aloy doesn't rise to. She barely reacts at all, outside of a calm advance, her arms strangely steady as she urges Beta in against the wall. "Aloy-" It slips out of her before she can stop it.
Aloy doesn't need to be asked twice, and melts into Beta's space. She crashes their lips together, sloppy in that way that briefly warms Beta from the inside out; this is Aloy with her walls down, and it's like an electric current running right through her, just knowing Aloy trusts her this much. That she can close her eyes around her.
She tightens her grip on Aloy's waist to pull her closer, as those same hands loop around Beta's shoulders, playing with the short hairs at the nape of her neck, just trying to make her shiver. Beta lets her take the lead for now, her limbs loose and slow under her command. Aloy is probably stronger.
"Take my shirt off." She whispers. Aloy's movements are jerky and uncoordinated, but she manages it, before reaching immediately around for her own while she's moving. Her skin is always hot to the touch, where Beta thinks she's destined to be cold forever, but Aloy never seems to mind.
It's strange to see the great and deadly Aloy off her balance, having to brace herself against falling more than once. She's still giddy, grinning like she never does; like a third, less destiny addled Sobeck clone.
Beta runs her hands up her sides to her chest, and Aloy crumbles. She has worked her fingers into Beta's hair from the root, but doesn't pull, even when Beta can tell that she wants to.
She leans in to kiss her again, and her heart shoots into her throat when Aloy matches her perfectly. It shouldn't be this easy to kiss your clone, to feel thrill at what is essentially your own tongue running across your lip, but that knowledge doesn't hinder the reaction.
Reaching between them, Beta slips past the waistband of Aloy's leggings. This is something she knows - safe - and space is made for her enthusiastically. Aloy is watching with still rounded eyes from behind her hair; sneakily, as if she thinks Beta won't notice. She ducks her head to Aloy's neck to avoid her, and tries to work around the restrictions.
Beta doesn't know if it's the weed, or the familiarity, but Aloy doesn't tense before she chases. Her hips roll, grinding down against the heel of Beta's hand, but Beta ultimately gets to decide what she does and when she does it.
The control is exhilarating, and while they've not talked about it, Aloy always lets her set the pace.
The angle is bad, but Aloy is already slick, coating her fingers without mounting her. Beta makes a come hither motion, and Aloy tremors like like a tree caught in a storm. Or maybe like the crumbling buildings that Beta wishes she was brave enough to explore. Like a glitch.
The fabric is rough and surprisingly unyielding, difficult to maneuver. Aloy makes a sound, frustration probably building up in the lines across her forehead. Beta nips at her pulse.
"Do you want to take these off?"
Aloy nods viciously against her, but when she opens her mouth all that comes out is guttural. Beta doesn't help, instead focusing on her work; that being the dark mark she intends to leave behind. Aloy had gotten weird the first time she had left her with a 'love bite' (a term Beta hates but Aloy generally uses), but she must be covered in them now. Beta realises that she probably likes it. She's certainly never stopped her.
She waits for Aloy to force the fabric down her own legs, slowing down if only to give her a chance, but Aloy doesn't seem to share the sentiment. She thrusts herself down on Beta's fingers, arching to try and find a workable angle, all while blindly trying to get herself out of her clothes. It would be impressive, if Beta herself were not also an impatient person.
"Do you need help?"
"No- yes. Ah, fuck it-" Beta hears the rip and wonders again how they could be clones of the same person. "They were falling apart anyway." Aloy mutters, probably to herself but Beta feels laughter bubbling up anyway. "What?"
"Mm, nothing." Beta whispers, because she has all the space in the world now, and she intends to use it. Aloy is still urging herself down into Beta's hand, taking whatever is being offered to her, and Beta catches her at a dip.
Aloy is greedy when she's high, but Beta must catch her off guard. She claws her way down Beta's back as she finally fills her, hissing like she's the one on the opposing end of that onslaught, but it's good. Pain like this is different to pain out in the wilds. This is contained. This is just Aloy, and Beta is fully capable of taking whatever she gives her.
Fucking Aloy before she settles down is like handling any kind of wild animal; they squirm, and scratch, and they thrash. The wall feels cold at Beta's back, but Aloy is hot and clings to her like she needs her, and it feels good. She's riding her, with strong thighs easily able to jump from rooftops having no problem working for this, and it's beautiful, but Beta doesn't want to just watch.
Beta doesn't think she's ever been as aware of how good Aloy smells. Always earthy, usually kind of bloody and sweaty, but somehow something she wants to drink. The sounds ping on her ears differently too. Probably the weed.
Her mind is blank but she opens her mouth and words come out anyway.
"What are you thinking about?" Aloy's eyes flicker down to meet hers, eyebrows furrowed in concentration, but it doesn't slow her down. Beta lets her climb until she reaches the tips of her fingers, and sets her pace from there.
"What? Why?" Aloy grunts. Her skin gleams in the candlelight as she flutters around Beta's fingers. She likes to hear her talk, but getting much of a response is always like drawing blood from a stone. Beta closes her teeth around the ridge of her collarbone.
"I want to know."
Aloy moans, octaves lower than usual. "Good- you feel so good-" She's struggling already, words getting caught in her throat. Beta doesn't think she has ever felt as confident as she does when she has Aloy on the edge like this, and risks her balance to reach her spare hand between Aloy's legs, immediately making tight circles around her clit.
It quickly proves too much for Aloy. Her thighs spasm with effort, going past conscious motion and towards instinct, and Beta is sure if it were anyone but her getting her there, Aloy might have headbutted them. She still gets pretty close, but somehow the collision is gentle despite the speed. Beta wants to taste the blood rushing to fill her cheeks, so she curls her fingers, and decides that she needs to see how far she can spread that blush.
She grabs Aloy's hip to steady her, pulling out only so she can divert the attention all to her clit. Her soaked fingers provide little to no friction, which is exactly what she wants. Aloy sighs, leaning into the foggy post orgasm bliss for as long as it lasts, and in the private moment (where Beta's walls are down and she's not worried about being perceived by the one person who truly knows how to) she lets the smile split her face.
They haven't talked about it, but Beta hopes that Aloy understands. It's hard to explain, so she hopes she never has to, but Beta can't help it; she just wants to be near her. All the time. As much or as little as she wants her there. That puts her in the same group as roughly half the people Aloy has ever met, and that isn't promising, but Aloy has spent more and more time at the Base lately… she can't help it. She hopes she gets it.
Aloy is extremely predictable. The moment she can move, she reaches blindly for the waist of Beta's pants, tilting her head to pepper dazed kisses down her face and along her jaw. Beta knew it was coming, and already has counteractions planned.
She moves quickly, and goes for the nuclear option. Aloy protests when she brushes her off, but Beta ignores her. She cups her face in both hands to draw her in for a kiss, and Aloy shivers, so Beta knows she has her where she wants her.
"Lie down." She says. Aloy blinks and hovers for a moment, still recovering her functions before the words click into place and she does as instructed. Beta feels a flare go off in her chest.
She swings a leg over Aloy's body to straddle her. Aloy kisses like she's been starved for it her whole life, somewhere between a romantic lead and a wild animal sensing captivity, but Beta has never felt more wanted than being faced with the brunt of her, and tries to meet her at every chance.
The best way to win is usually the cheap shot, and Beta is not so big as to not take a cheap shot. Aloy is already reaching for her when Beta intercepts, taking her wrists and slamming them down at her sides.
"I'm not done."
Aloy's eyes are hooded, but her pupils are blown wide. She's breathing short and hard, and doesn't struggle. Beta waits a beat before she loosens her grip and, once Aloy has proven she will stay still without it, moves on.
Rearranging herself slightly, Beta slides Aloy's legs open to accommodate her. They tremble under her hands, still jolting with aftershocks, and Beta spreads her fingers wide to dig them into Aloy's skin, to make her existence there as tangible as possible as she drops kisses down Aloy's chest. Not too much, or she'll get overstimulated.
"Mm, Beta," Aloy's body follows her mouth like they are bonded together, and Beta shudders at the sound of her name. "I want to touch you."
"Later." Beta says, closing her mouth around a nipple as she reaches for the other. Aloy grinds up against her, looking for anything she can get, but Beta is a strategist. She knows what she's doing.
She swirls her tongue, quick circles around each peak until Aloy begins to pant, before she begins her descent. Aloy has lines of muscle down her stomach, and Beta allows her tongue to follow these grooves like a wandering river, enjoying the clear force Aloy is employing to keep from bucking her off.
"Relax." She murmurs, her lips brushing skin.
"I can't." Aloy is clenching her teeth - a bad habit she won't work on - but she does ease up her deathgrip on the blankets. Trying her best at what's asked of her. Beta would have rolled her eyes if she weren't so charmed at the consistency.
Instead, she continues her onslaught, and tries to hide her smile in clips of teeth instead. Aloy's inner thighs are sensitive, just like her own, and she can never resist making her suffer. There are old, healing bruises already there for Beta to trace, left from their last encounter only a few days ago. She really needs to go easier on her. Aloy's breathing is loud and forcibly even, but Beta wants to hear her choke.
"Beta-" Her chest feels tight at the sound. "Goddess, please-" She's already begging and Beta hasn't even touched her. Usually she would have to draw this out of her with the right words and effort, but it seems that Aloy is feeling as loose-lipped as she is. "I need you-"
A single swipe of her tongue cuts Aloy off, but she isn't the only one moaning. Beta has been able to put herself to the back of her mind until now, but time and repetition have their side effects, and they hit her all at once. Aloy loves eating her out - would do it for hours if she let her - and Beta has gotten to know exactly what each flick of her tongue feels like; what she is doing to Aloy. The momentary phantom sensation is enough to jolt her back to her body, in a state she rarely finds herself; desperate.
Aloy whines above her, her knuckles white with strain once again, and Beta is too wet to stop herself.
"Aloy." She says, proud of the way it comes out. Steady, confident. Aloy takes in a shuddering breath and opens her eyes. "Touch yourself."
She makes a disapproving sound, that Beta mimics back before she can think better of it, but it seems to work. Aloy moves like a dying machine, struggling against her greater instincts as she builds, but she reaches for her chest anyway, brushing her fingertips across her nipples. Beta hums and dips down, pushing inside her and twirling her tongue as she keeps her eyes on her… her Aloy.
She's rutting up against her face, and Beta should stop her, but there's something about seeing the natural state. Is she like this? The room feels hot, and Beta is sure she's probably ruined her underwear by now; she wants out of her clothes, and she's determined enough to do it, but it's hard to stay focused when Aloy's teeth are clicking with the tension.
Her eyes are clamped shut and her jaw set, fighting where she shouldn't be, and the paint on her face is running in spots. Beta feels her starting to slip, and ups the pressure. She curls her tongue around her clit and sucks, and Aloy cums loud. Beta's name echoes around the room back to her. She's never liked it much, but certainly never liked it more.
Aloy arches, her hand blindly reaching down, and Beta expects her to go for her hair (because that's what she would do) but no. She goes for Beta's hand halfway up her thigh, slipping their fingers together and holding tight. Beta can't tear her eyes away from her, despite how heavy they feel.
She laps lazily as Aloy comes back down to earth, from her entrance to her clit, careful not to apply too much pressure. Aloy doesn't let go of her hand.
"Shit." It's been silent for long enough that Beta almost jumps when Aloy finally manages a breathy couple of words. "You've gotten really good at that."
"Cullilingus?"
"What?"
"Nothing." Beta teases her tongue once more up Aloy's slit, before she pushes herself up to hover above her. "Are you okay?"
Aloy sighs happily, nodding until she can force her eyes open. "Yeah, now come here."
Beta scoffs, but she's not about to pass up the opportunity. Despite how much a part of her wants to tease her about how soft she has gotten, Beta is way too worried of losing the privilege of seeing it. She strips off the last of her clothes, climbs up Aloy's body to grant her wish, as Aloy's arms wind around her. Even worn out, her hold feels strong, and Beta ends up straddled across her stomach while Aloy laps herself from her mouth.
"Will you-" Aloy's confidence fails her, and between them that used to be all that they got, but Beta has grown since then. She isn't embarrassed to ask. Besides, she is wound too tightly to refuse either of them.
"Will I what?" She asks and, shocked by how desperate she sounds, corrects immediately. "Aloy-"
"I- my shoulder hurts, and I-" Aloy stiffens up a little, steeling herself, and relaxes with her next words. "Kneel across my face."
Beta pauses. "What?" She couldn't have heard her correctly.
"Yeah, just-" Aloy's hands slip down behind her thighs, urging her upwards, while she herself shimmies down to lie flatter on the bed. "Over my shoulders."
Beta frowns. "Are you serious?"
"Really serious."
Beta regards her for a moment. Still flushed, still panting, very desperate for her to just move like she's telling her too, and somehow still can't find it in herself to do it.
Aloy senses the change (because of course she does), and her head falls slightly to the side, her eyebrows furrowing. Beta braces herself on Aloy's chest, lays her palms flat and tries to focus on the thud of her heart instead of the frustrating pit of anxiety under her own skin.
"What is it?" Aloy asks.
Beta shivers. She's sitting up in Aloy's lap, and the draft hits harder with the distance. She hates it. She hates herself. Why is she like this?
Aloy sits up, almost knocks her back when she does it too, but they're face to face before Beta can move to avoid it.
"I'll crush you."
"You definitely won't."
"I almost always close up-"
"That's a complete lie."
Beta groans, frustrated that she can't figure out what her own issue is, and how much she wants to grind down on Aloy's midriff. She holds her spine stiff, because she won't give her that satisfaction. "You're making this very difficult."
Aloy scoffs. "Projection." She says, and Beta hates that she's right. It's a problem they share, and usually good to call out, but not this time. Not when she's the one doing it.
She tries one last time. "I'll ruin your face paint."
Aloy narrows her eyes. "I think I can live with that." She says, and rubs her cheek hard against Beta's, leaving long blue streaks in her wake; like those 'cat' videos Tilda had shown her. She really liked those animals.
Aloy pulls back, marvelling in their matching smudges. "Oh no, what will I do now? Beta, help me!" She falls back to the bed in her dramatics, smirking up at Beta like such an asshole. Beta wants to wipe it off her stupid, pretty face. Thankfully, Aloy does it herself.
She sits up, back in her space, like it's no effort at all to do it. For Aloy, it probably isn't.
"You don't have to do anything. I just think it would be good." She speaks softly, like suddenly Beta is the flight risk. "I want to make you feel good."
Maybe she is the flight risk.
Her chest feels tight, because this is so stupid. She wants to do this. Why can't she just do this?
Aloy is close enough to see all her freckles, some identical on Beta's own face, others not. Beta has traced them with her fingertips before, when they're already in bed and Aloy has nowhere to run off to. It always makes her squirm, to be treated like that.
Beta can't resist leaning in to kiss her, even while she feels her head might explode with all the thoughts running through it. Aloy's mountain of hair is soft under her hand, and despite the distance she feels to her body, the touch is tenfold. She can't get enough of it, and Aloy is all too giving.
She rocks like a ship in a storm beneath her, her undamaged arm reaching down and around Beta's ass to pull her closer, while the other is loose around her neck. Beta thinks that she might be insatiable, in one way or another, and that if she could keep going forever, Aloy would never stop touching her.
Aloy has always had admirers. Even if she hadn't seen all the data, the hours and hours of documented, visual proof of the fact, she would have understood this. Aloy has gone through life with little regard for a string of broken hearts in her path.
Beta hasn't. She knows what it is to be desired and to reject, but not in the same context, or to the same extent, and with these calculations, Beta just can't put it together.
What is she doing here with me?
There truly must be no god, because Aloy's face ticks, and her mouth opens, and all of a sudden she's talking.
"Are you okay with this?" She blurts, but before Beta can comprehend her, she's off again. "We haven't talked about it before, and I wanted to but- what are you thinking? About this? Us?" Aloy's eyes have been flickering everywhere, because she's serious, and that's more than a little daunting.
She's right. They've talked about a lot of things, worked through so many things, but the subject of them - this - had gone somehow ignored. A testament to their combined stubbornness.
"Aloy-" Beta wants to just tell her that she's being stupid and move on, but its hard to do that when Aloy has definitely hit her stride with this whole conversation.
"We've been doing this for a while now, and I just want to make sure that you- that I…" Aloy frowns, struggling. "That you want to be here. With me."
Beta wants to point out that she was literally inside her only a few minutes ago, but doesn't think it would be appreciated. Aloy shifts underneath her, supports herself with her elbows, and begs with her eyes for whatever help Beta is willing to give. She's handing her the power, laid her cards down, and Beta has no idea what she is meant to do with it.
"Aloy-" She starts, before realising she has no idea how she's going to say this. This should be the other way around, this isn't even an issue, but Aloy clearly needs to hear her say it, and how could she ever deny her.
They haven't talked about it, and they will, but not now.
"Remember what I said, in that message I left you, before Gemini?" She ventures.
Aloy's lips quick so slightly at the corners. "You got so mad about that when you came back."
Beta feels an embarrassed flush crawl up her neck, but this isn't the time. She didn't think it was possible for Aloy to look more uncomfortable than the first time they met, but this might be the day. "I meant what I said. Okay? Do you understand?"
Aloy's throat bobs as she swallows. "I think so?" She whispers. "But if you want to repeat it…"
Beta doesn't like vulnerability, and she was already shrouded in it when Aloy asks her for this. She's already naked, high, and desperate for Aloy to just fuck her already, but Aloy needs to understand.
She leans in to do them both a mercy, burying herself in Aloy's neck and hair where everything is easy and warm and she doesn't have to face reality. Aloy's pulse rattles around like she's been running a marathon, and Beta remembers that she's still probably dazed by her comedown - that she can still taste her on the tip of her tongue.
Even taking aside the weed, Aloy always smells a little smokey too; like burning wood and sparkers and probably no small amount of singed hair and fur. Beta hadn't been able to identify any of these scents only a few weeks ago, and maybe she's better for that, because now they are all synonymous with Aloy; safety, warmth. Beta could stay like this forever.
"You're my… my shelter, Aloy." She says, as loud as she can when every instinct she has is telling her to stop. "I want to be here. All the time. With you." Aloy stays statue still, her breathing short and shallow, and Beta is already missing her hands. Slowly, she presses a kiss to her throat, and stays there. "Like this."
Aloy releases her tension like a burst tire, tilting her head to give Beta more access as she wilts. "Yeah?" She says, and Beta just nods, not willing to give up her work. The chill is fading, and she's starting to come around to that idea Aloy had more and more by the second. Not before she adds to this mark though.
Somewhat muffled to her, Aloy moans, steadily lowering them both down before she reaches for her again. Beta's hips thrusts forward viciously as Aloy's hands find purchase on her waist, an embarrassing automatic response that must have chased any lingering doubt away, because Aloy turns her head and bumps their foreheads together. Beta opens her eyes.
"You're cute." Beta recoils, frowns down at her, because cute is not what she's going for, but Aloy doubles down. "You are!"
Beta rolls her eyes. "Whatever. Move down."
Aloy doesn't hesitate. She dips to press a kiss just under Beta's jaw, feather light and not enough, before she's gone again. Laid back on the bed, propped up on her elbows and with her eyes on Beta the entire time, she gives her another out. A form of kindness that makes Beta restless.
"You can be the one lying down if you want." She says, genuine, but Beta knows her well enough to sense a challenge. Exposure therapy. Beta climbs over and pushes her shoulders down so she can mount her.
Aloy is kind enough to look calm. Beta's heart thunders at the anticipation, the fear forgotten as she settles, and Aloy reaches up to steady her.
It's strange, because all logic says she should be embarrassed, feel exposed, but Aloy keens beneath her and it all falls away after that.
As soon as Beta's knees hit the bed, one on either side of Aloy's head, she rises to meet her. She runs her hands up Beta's thighs, grounding despite it all, but it's hard to be grounded when Aloy's breathing is quick and hot and so close to where she wants her.
She reaches down, her hand slipping under Aloy's braids until she feels safe, in control. Aloy's eyes are bright, and Beta can already feel her straining against her grip; subtly letting her know that she can hold her back if she wants, but that she really wishes she wouldn't.
It takes a moment, but she only needs to meet her eyes and nod for Aloy to move. Beta reaches out with her spare hand to balance herself, not even sure what she has grabbed when she doesn't think she'll ever be able to tear her eyes away from Aloy again.
Despite her earlier fear, she finds she likes it even better like this. Aloy's hair is spread around her head, framing her face and Beta's own pale thighs with wildfire, and Beta can't look anywhere but down. To where Aloy's eyes drift closed when she takes her into her mouth, runs her tongue along Beta's folds, parting them carefully as she makes sure to give every inch of her the attention she deserves before flattening out to lick the entire length of her.
"Whoa!" Pleasure catches in her throat. "That's it, just like that." Aloy practically purrs in response, and the vibrations rock their way up Beta's body like a beating.
She's closer than she would like to be, and Aloy is granting her no mercy, so she follows suit. Beta's grip is rough in her hair, scratching around her roots to try and urge her on. "That's it, Aloy, right there, don't stop, you're so good-"
Aloy flicks her tongue side to side across her clit, right to left to right again, over and over until Beta thinks she might never taste oxygen ever again. Aloy is fighting against her hold in her hair, so viciously that Beta worries that she might snap her own neck if she keeps at it, but she suspects she is the only one worrying about that.
She can't breathe, or maybe she's breathing too quick and it's just not working, but Beta is climbing fast. Her memory has nothing on the reality, and even in her post orgasm haze, Aloy is overly attentive and driven to a fault. Beta wants to speak, but the words catch in her throat and come out like yowls. Hopefully Aloy gets it.
Her legs are shaking wildly, half trying to close, half trying to lower her further, but they hold her until it hits. Aloy's tongue is laid long and flat, and runs up her sex with sure pressure, like she knows how close she is. Beta comes the moment the tip meets her clit.
"Fuck!"
Aloy starts violently beneath her, so Beta knows she was probably loud, but the thought is gone before it registers. Her limbs are locked in place like the stone at the very centre of a mountain, but Aloy recovers and pushes herself all the more for it. She licks her short and fast, her grip hard but grounding around Beta's thighs, guiding her past her peak. She slows when Beta forces her fingers to loosen up on Aloy's poor scalp, bracing her palms on the bed instead when her bones still feel shattered.
When Beta finally opens her eyes, the same green is staring right back at her.
"Stop." She says, and Aloy does, easing herself back down while Beta tries to remember how to make her own body follow basic commands. Eventually she gets it, and dismounts with as much grace as she has left in her, but when her back hits the bed all the effort is worth it.
Trying to get her breathing under control is her first priority, but it's a losing battle. Her eyes feel hazy, like she needs to blink it away but doesn't have the will. Her arm is pressed tight against Aloy's, so she can feel her panting too, and she wants to look at her. Desperately. Aftershocks surge through her, but she wills her neck to just turn and with time, it happens.
"Hi." Aloy breathes. She's already looking at her, forcing Beta to wonder how long exactly she had been out of commission for. There's mirth in that smile, so she's going to assume it was considerable.
"Hey." Beta sighs. "Why are you looking at me like that?"
"You said fuck." Aloy's smile looks strange on her face, too excited for a person like her, like them. Beta narrows her eyes.
"What?"
"I wasn't sure if you knew that word, that's all. I've been so careful!" Aloy turns her gaze to the roof, but it's a welcome reprieve, because Beta can't concentrate when she's looks at her like that. She tries to laugh, but it comes out more like a wheeze.
"Of course I know it, I didn't know if you did! I didn't want to be the one to introduce 'fuck' to the world!"
Aloy snorts, moving bonelessly onto her side. Her mouth glistens in the firelight, but Beta only sees it for a moment before it's smeared across her shoulder. "That's good of you."
"That's me." Beta says. "Always giving." Aloy hums, twisting their legs together like she thinks Beta might run away. It's not unfounded, but it is unfair. It was one time, and she hadn't run off; Aloy just sleeps for way too long when she finally does manage to, How long are you meant to hang around after waking up next to your genetically identical clone for the first time before you leave anyway? An hour feels generous.
The same fate that had befallen her then finds her again now. Beta's stomach rumbles like a roaring bellowback, and the quiet is spoiled by Aloy's choked back amusement. Beta hadn't even realised she was hungry, but it's impossible to ignore now that she's woken up from it. It feels like her stomach is caving in on itself, but Aloy is staring up at her with enough light in her eyes to forget about it all over again.
She could have, if Aloy's body hadn't chosen that moment to follow. Aloy groans like she's been stabbed.
"Well fuck, I'm starving." She says, and Beta hums in acknowledgement, not quite willing to accept the reality of having to get up again. Aloy is a lot more reasonable than she is. "C'mon."
"No, bring me something back." Beta chances her arm, and she really must have done a number on her, because Aloy is yielding. She does roll her eyes, but that's just her nature.
"Fine, but you're going next time."
Next time.
It's probably hormonal - the natural response to any partner's kindness - but Beta's heart feels loud in her ears. Aloy takes a deep breath against her throat before she rises, and while it's impossible to keep her features schooled completely, Beta hopes they come off smug. That's at least something she can work with. Aloy stretches, long and lazy before she goes looking for something to wear, and it takes Beta a moment to realise she is performing. Just a little.
"Ugh, I forgot I ripped these."
"I don't believe you did that."
"Yeah." Aloy turns to her, and there's a dash of red dusting over her shoulders and nose. Beta doesn't notice that she's smiling until Aloy has already caught her. "Guess I'm impatient."
"Yeah."
Beta needs new clothes too. Everything Aloy has is rough, too uncomfortable for Beta to wear. She says she's working on it with her Carja friend, but Beta doesn't want to think about her for long enough to dwell on it. In the meantime, she watches Aloy discard her own tattered leggings, and choose Beta's clothes instead. Now that is a strange sight.
It makes her look almost normal - Beta's normal anyway - and she isn't sure if she loves or hates it. Aloy rolls out her shoulders, getting used to the new feeling.
"This feels good."
"Yeah, why do you think I'm still wearing it?" Aloy tilts her head, hesitates, and dips to press a kiss to her temple. Quick, nervous. It makes Beta nervous.
Aloy leaves her with a flash of teeth, and the knowledge that no, she hasn't forgotten about water, and yes she will bring water. It's the most cared for Beta has felt in as long as she can remember, but as the door shuts and leaves her alone with her thoughts and her hunger, it sinks in just how much she needs… something.
They'll talk about it. Tomorrow.