Work Text:
The stars illuminate the mauve sky of endless clouds, the only source of light that shined down on a pink haired kitsune and her god. Two lovers that the universe bound for centuries, the same as the piercing gaze Ei gave her lover.
The shrine maiden walks up to her, reaching out to stroke Ei’s face, and she lets her, flinching only for a moment. Her eyes slant and she stares down at Yae.
“Ei”, Miko whispers, her finger caressing her god’s face, “earlier.. You don’t mean what you said.”
Yae’s tone sounds hopeful, she’s pleading to be right, she has to be right. She wants to hear her lover tell her that she didn’t mean any of what she spewed out when they fought.
And Ei breathes, it’s shaky and Yae can hear it, the knot in her stomach only tightens, one more wrong instance and she’s going to spill everything she’d been afraid to say before.
“Miko…” Inazuma’s leader breaks eye contact, feeling Yae’s grip on her sleeves become tighter. “I don’t know, Miko, please, I want to know but I’m not sure”, her eyes darted to the floor, staring at her own feet that soon started to feel like white noise.
Yae lets go of Ei, wrapping her arms across her chest as if she was trying to protect herself, the clicking of her heels as she steps back is the only thing audible for just a moment.
Ei doesn’t dare meet gaze with her lover, she knows whatever look Yae has on her face right now will haunt her forever, it’ll eat her alive, for centuries.
She hears the kitsune scoff and sigh heavily, before she opens her mouth to speak again. It reminds her of the calm before the storm.
“You need more time? I have been waiting fucking centuries for you- I haven’t even found interest in anyone else, all those years I was alone and I didn’t even get to say goodbye to you and now you want to leave again?”
Venom spills from Yae’s lips, the hold in the back of her throat strains her voice, almost yelling at her lover, who could only show a solemn face and look away.
Ei is a coward, and the both of them have known this since she left Yae to isolate herself for centuries, and it stings. Ever since she lost her sister, she’s been a coward, too afraid to move on and desperately clinging to the ideal of being able to save the one close to her. Every night countless scenarios crawl through her mind where she could’ve, she should’ve been more brave- in another timeline.
The damage she brought to herself and the only person that truly cares for her is irreversible, and she hates it. She wants to do anything to change the past, and she always will, all those centuries spent locking herself in a confirmed empty space with nothing but her own consciousness, and what felt like the world’s lifetime to Yae, left alone.
Yae’s eyes stare into her own.
“Do you love me, Ei?”
Oh, how she wishes the ground beneath her would swallow her up right now, but all she does is blink for a moment and stare, like a deer caught in headlights.
Yae takes a step towards her, her body visibly trembling while her throat tightens up, tears in the back of her eyes pricking and blurring her vision, she wants the truth, even if it crushes her.
There is silence, accompanied by the soft sniffles as Yae choked back the urge to sob right in front of Ei, to show her how much she’s gone through, and she knows it’s selfish but she doesn’t care.
Miko breathes yet again, her voice now trembling more with her body too, “Answer me.”
Her eyes look hopeful, even when her lips betray her, her eyes will always look desperate for answers, longing for praises and words of comfort, endlessly believing that she’s right and if she hears the wrong answer she will die.
“I do love you, I don’t know what you’re thinking and I don’t know what you want to hear, I don’t know anything- I never have. But every time I look at you I feel like I’m at home.”
And she doesn’t tell a single lie, the only time she has ever felt at home is with Yae, a home she would never desire to abandon, even if it burned down and left her side- no matter what happens she will always love Yae.
She just doesn’t know how to put it into words, she doesn’t know how to put her feelings in a way that will get to her.
All Yae can do is smile, yet she finally breaks, tears stream down her cheeks and she can feel the salty taste on her lips, her body only shakes more and then everything comes crashing down. She’s now on her knees, some teardrops falling onto her lap but it doesn’t bother her, everything hurts and burns and she doesn’t know why.
She doesn’t know what she wanted to hear from Ei, but she knows she wouldn’t have it any other way, desperately trying to once again choke back cries but it won’t stop, so she stops trying to hide it.
Yae had waited so long for her lover, and even after centuries the aching love she feels for her will never go away, she is one with her love, it doesn’t matter if the entirety of her nation despised her for her love, it doesn’t matter if they both argue and fight, it wouldn’t matter that much if they tried to kill one another.
Ei crouches down, moving towards Miko and embracing her in a hug, running her fingers through the kitsune’s silky pink hair, and she stays silent, she can’t say anything right now that will comfort her lover the way her actions will, so she stays there, right by Miko’s side.
Yae flinches when she feels arms wrap around her shaking body, only to bury her shoulder into Ei’s shoulder and continues to sob. It’s warm, comforting, it feels like home to her. She’s still terrified of losing her. That fear will never leave her, but she knows that no matter what happens, they have met, and maybe in another universe they will be a modern happy couple who weren’t entangled in grief and centuries of suffering.
Ei lies at the bottom of Yae’s being, and brings her up to her roots, nothing can separate the two lovers from their fate, yet even when the time comes that tragedy happens, they will love each other for enternity.