How to Handle the Revelation that Your Close Friend Who You Thought Turned Evil Is Significantly Less Human Than You Originally Assumed and Also Believes You Have Been LARPing For The Past Two Years of Bloodshed In Four Easy Steps

A wikiHow article by Sapnap, leading expert in emotional breakdowns caused by discovering your former best friend turned murderous villain isn’t simply a secretive hybrid, but is instead an eldritch being playing human and is completely unaware that all of this wasn’t just a game.

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(See the end of the work for notes and other works inspired by this one.)

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If you’ve stumbled upon this article because you are in a similar situation, first and foremost, how in the everloving fuck did this happen twice? Second, how did you end up in this circumstance and decide that googling it was the best option? Seriously, what the fuck man?

1. Discover the Truth

Watch in horror as your former friend reassembles his battered and broken body like a puppet's strings being pulled, all of the pieces coming back together in one fluid movement. You will likely need a minute to register what your eyes are seeing, during which you and the rest of the battlefield will be frozen in shock. Take your time, there's really no rush given that the man you've been fighting desperately, the man you've forsaken, mourned, and lost countless nights of sleep over, is now preoccupied with gently helping up the teenage enderman hybrid who is too bewildered to react.

At this point, you (and others in the area) will just barely be recovering from the feeling of having glimpsed something beyond your comprehension. You will recover faster than most of the others, because you are more familiar with this feeling, although you could not name it before now [1]You felt it brush at the edge of your mind when you stared at him for too long, when you thought a little too hard about where he came from, about how his body moves just a little bit differently from how you think it should. .
You will suddenly process the moments before the transformation. Particularly, the word 'Stoplight' that the enderman hybrid had accidentally called out while trying to communicate something to his friends.
That word is one you've had a long history with. It meant "I am hurt for real. I want to stop playing now. I need help."[2]Badboyhalo. Father. Expert Interview. Too long ago to recall.
You have used it before during games of hunting, where you and your friends would play pretend. But it shouldn't work here. Because you aren't pretending here. Or at least, you thought you weren't.
Watching as your friend finishes helping the hybrid, you will start to doubt.
As he smiles that soft smile you remember from so long ago, the one that looked a little off but was so blindingly sincere you couldn't help but trust him, the doubt will swell in your stomach.
When he moves back to where he was before; when his strings loosen and the wound you gave him not five minutes prior splits back open; when he asks so innocently and genuinely "Are we ready to keep playing?"
That's when the doubt will be replaced by the far more horrible wave of certainty, crashing through your body with the care and elegance of a tapeworm.
Congratulations, you've discovered the truth. Enough of it anyways.

2. For Once In Your Fucking Life, Make A Good Decision.

Now that you've realized the truth, you will have about two seconds to realize that no one else understands the truth, and if you do not act now everything will be so much worse. The only people who understand what that word means are not here. The others do not understand. They did not grow up with your friend. They did not play your games. They did not whisper within your little circle about the oddities of your friend. About what kind of hybrid he must be [3]George swore he was from the end. Antfrost speculated a Warden. You never did make up your mind. Nothing ever fit. . They do not understand, but you do, and you must act now. In the past, you've favored recklessness, you've favored violence, you've favored the swing of your sword to any attempt at resolution. But you are so very tired. All you want to do is stop playing. You want so desperately to go home.

Unfreeze yourself, and let your sword fall to your side. He won't attack you. Not unless you say you're ready. He plays fair like that.
"I- Fuck. Dream- How- What-."
You will pause in your stumbling as he rights himself slowly, wounds not healing but simply ignored. As if they were for decoration. Maybe they are. Even behind his mask, you will know he's confused.
Before he can speak, you will make a choice of exhaustion and longing. It might be the only good choice you've made in the past two fucking years.
"No. I think- I think I'm done playing. I want to be done. I want to go home. I- Stoplight. Stoplight. Please, can we just go home?"
Now his wounds heal, skin stitching together and bones righting themselves as he stretches his body just to the left of how a human ought to be able to move themselves. It only takes a heartbeat, and then he's beaming at you. You know that he is [4]You cannot see his face under the mask, you are not sure if he has one. But you can feel his emotions all the same. When he wants you to. If you are one of the ones he wants to..
" 'Course, Pandas! Do you wanna call Bad to check your shoulder? I wasn't sure if I swung too hard. I was hoping you'd dodge."
It will be as easy as breathing to fall back to him. Even knowing all he's done, even knowing and hating the fact that it meant nothing to him. That he doesn't even understand that he's done harm. You will still fall into his arms the moment he extends them. His warmth is back as if it were never gone, and it will frighten you to your core.
You do not have the energy though, so instead you will just allow his comfort to entrap you.
"No." You will say. "No, I just wanna go home, Dream. Please."
"Okay." He'll say, and you'll feel the old familiar hum of a teleportation command wrapping around you.
"Okay."

3. Go Home

Let him take you home. Forget about the past. Forget about wars, bloodshed and violence that tore you apart. Forget about the clusterfuck of confusion and chaos you've left behind you. Instead, let him guide you to a couch where you'll sit in a stupor. There he'll peel you out of the armor that's become your second skin, he'll wash away the blood and bandage your wounds with care you haven't experienced in years. His softness will burn you, and you will cling to it desperately even as it sears your skin beyond repair.

As he works, he will speak to you softly. Jovially. You won't be able to understand his words. You won't want to. It will make it all too real.
He won't fall quiet, but he will realize you aren't listening. He won't mind. He'll talk to fill the space for both of you.
When your wounds are patched up, he will guide you up once again.
You will walk, most of your weight on his shoulders, until you reach a bed.
He will lay you down, bringing the blanket up over your shoulders.
"Stay. Please." You'll say, throat worn from screaming and clogged with unshed tears.
"Of course, here, just scooch a bit." His hands will move you, and then he'll be laying in the bed beside you, just like the two of you used to.
"Love you, Pandas."
You know that he means it [5]It's in his voice, in his care, in his eyes you cannot see..
With what little energy you have left, you will roll over to fit yourself against his chest. He will be warm, and when his arms wrap around you, you will be able to ignore that his body doesn't breathe right. That it merely pretends to.
Faintly, you will realize you have no idea what building you're in.
Where he brought you is a mystery.
It does not matter.
You are home [6]He is home. He has always been home. It has been so long since you have been home..

4. Leave the Rest for Future You to Figure Out

In the very near future, you are going to suffer. You are going to have to rip off the bandaid. You will have to explain the truth to him. You will have to explain the truth to the others. That this all was not a game. That he did not understand it wasn't a game. You will have to try to understand what he is. What being could possible shrug off that level of harm. What being could endure and inflict so much damage without any of it exceeding the limit of play.

But in this moment, you are tired.
You are twenty years old, and you have been fighting since you were eighteen.
You have lost so much [7]It hurt..
For a long time, you lost your best friend. The one who took the weight off your shoulders when it was too heavy for you to bare. When you were scared but could not bring yourself to admit it.
He is back now, as if he never left.
And you are so very tired.
So now, in this moment, you let him take the weight once more.
Future you will need to take up the weight as soon as you can, but for a moment, you will have a reprieve [8]Just a moment. Please..
Let him hold you. Let yourself be weightless. Let yourself be loved in the most terrifying way; unconditionally.
Let yourself sleep.

Community Q&A

Sapnap did you really just fucking vanish then write this wikiHow article instead of answering any of us??? We've been trying to get in contact with you for 14 fucking hours! What the Fuck! asked by ItsFundy

Sapnap, Author, Expert Answer

Yeah.

Notes:

Posting this here from my tumblr as context for a future fic. More info on the AU there! Skins used are Hovertips and Wikipedia
For those who follow me for BNHA stuff, I've mostly switched fandoms to Dream SMP at this point, although I may go back to my BNHA fics at some point, for now they're inactive.

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Works inspired by this one:

Effective Methods Of Torture by syzygy (Ro29)

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