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Love has always been a difficult topic for Quackity.
He's never had a good relationship with it (but it's not like he's ever had a good relationship with anyone to begin with, not even his friendships tend to go right) and it feels bitter when he thinks about the simple concept that it is.
Love is supposed to be something gentle, personal, about affection and words of reassurance spoken in the dawn of night, it should be something almost sacred in the same way prayers are.
But in Quackity's experience, love fucking sucks.
Maybe it's his own fault, for always falling for people who treat him like garbage, for not seeing the obvious red flags before he decides to give his heart so freely, only to end up alone again with more and more scars inside and outside himself.
For a moment, Schlatt had seemed like the exception, he was a brute, in the crudest sense of the word, but he was smart and too charismatic to ignore, Quackity had witnessed what the man could be, Schlatt was capable of laughing softly in the morning when Quackity would whine to him about sleeping for five more minutes, calloused hands could hold him so gently and kiss him like he was made of glass.
It's perfect for a time, but of course, it all goes to shit.
Jokes turned to fights and hugs turned to hits, before he even knew it, there was no trace of the man Quackity had proudly called his fiancé.
He can't say his death hadn't hurt, it did, a lot if he's being honest, but Quackity hadn't mourned the Schlatt that in the last days before he joined Pogtopia, wouldn't even care about the visible bruises all over him, that used more force than normally in his drunken stupor, no, Quackity mourned the Schlatt that called him sugar pumpkin and a different ton of pet names because it never failed to make Quackity blush.
When it was Schlatt's funeral he cried for the lover, he had lost a long time ago and laughed because the motherfucker that had hurt him so much had finally left him alone.
So, love and Quackity can't exist together, not before eventually he ends up getting hurt, so he builds walls around his ruined heart and keeps telling himself he's alright even when Tubbo won't stop prying into his business and telling him he needs a break.
(He especially ignores the worried looks sent his way when he startles a little too much from a loud noise and flinches a little too hard when someone touches him without asking first)
Everything feels somewhat normal, he's been rebuilding the hole that it's now L'manburg even when it gives him a feeling he can't quite describe when he stares at the place where Wilbur died.
But he's okay! He feels good and even when maybe he could be better, he's working on it and he's already decided love can go fuck itself, so he just needs to ignore the little voice in his head that tells him he's broke beyond repair and work until he can't think about anything anymore.
It's as easy as that.
Until it's not.
Quackity's plans never go his way, he's not sure why he thought this one would, but he's still not sure if it would be better than it had.
Karl and Sapnap came and destroyed the walls he had built with so much care like it was nothing, but they didn't do it because they wanted to hurt him, no, they had told him with all the conviction in the world that he wasn't a lost cause, that he was hurt but not destroyed.
"I don't understand," he had said one day, they were outside Sapnap's and Karl's house, the sun was hiding and he should have been on his way home, he still had so much work that needed to be done, but he couldn't bring himself to leave just yet.
"What's not to understand?" Karl giggled, his left hand was intertwined with Sapnap's, and with his right, he lightly touched Quackity's thigh, "we're confessing Q,"
He blinked, turning to look at Sapnap with surprised eyes, "You're hearing that too, right?"
Sapnap snorted, but he looked far more nervous than Karl, "Yeah, uh, is it bad that we're doing it? We don't want to make you uncomfortable-"
"No!" Quackity shouted quickly, embarrassed at how fast he responded, his wings giving away how nervous he was at that moment, "no, it's just- why me? You already know the basics about, um, my past and you've seen how much of a mess I am so I just- I don't think you should want to be with me."
Karl frowned and Quackity had to look away before he could find the obvious annoyance the two of them felt at his antics, but he couldn't help being confused at how bright, pretty Karl and brave, stubborn Sapnap could look at him and think he was worth something so important as love.
"Why would you say that?" Karl asked and his voice didn't sound angry, if not sadder than anything else, "Quackity, we love you, so, so much, we don't think you're a mess! You're one of the most hardworking people we've ever met and you're so smart and funny and cute-"
Sapnap chimes in, his voice soft, "You're perfect because you're you and it's okay that you don't feel the same way about us, but we're still your friends Q, and we're not gonna stand here and listen to all this bullshit you think about yourself,"
He vividly remembers how he didn't even notice he was crying until he took in Sapnap and Karl's worried faces, no one had ever told him shit like that, the closer he got as a compliment was Schlatt insistent comments about his ass, but then, they had acknowledged the effort he puts on his work, they said he was worth something more than his looks and shit- it was sad as fuck that got him sobbing like a baby, but it meant the world hearing that for the first time in years.
(It still feels like too much, sometimes, whenever his boyfriends decide to remember him about all the things they love about him)
"Oh," he said, unable to hide his sincere smile or his tears.
"Can we-" Sapnap asked, looking like was about to cry too.
"-hug you?" Karl had finished, his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides.
He just nodded, feeling more tears pooling in his eyes when they actually embrace him.
"Are you sure though? You're already together and I think you're the healthiest couple I've ever seen, I just," he whispers, "I don't want to feel like I'm about to ruin something perfect."
"You wouldn't and if you accept us, you're not going to," Karl whispers back, "me and Sap, we're okay but we wouldn't be here, telling you this, if we weren't serious about it,"
"We want to try, I know relationships are something huge, especially if you want them to work out, we would know," Sapnap laughs, "but you aren't like, intruding anything and you shouldn't be scared of trying,"
That day, he went to bed with two pairs of arms hugging him and with his face tingling with the ghost of soft kisses, he remembers how natural it felt to feel Karl hiding his face in the crook of his neck, being able to smell the smell of strawberries on Karl's hair, Sapnap whispering sweet nothings in his ear and how he had melted at the soft touches on his wings, ignoring how embarrassed he felt when he heard the blaze hybrid's laugh rumble from his back.
"So, we're boyfriends now, right?" Karl asked first thing in the morning, looking intently at Quackity who had just woke up, "don't say no, by the way, I think I might actually cry if you do,"
"You can say no, don't worry, Karl is just an idiot," Sapnap's deep morning voice had almost made him yelp.
"Can you tell me if I'm dreaming before I answer?" Quackity asked, feeling rather exposed all of sudden when he took in the fact that he was in the middle of the two men he was in love with.
Karl giggled, his eyes changing color from a dark brown to a light blue, "God, you're actually unbelievable adorable, no Q, you're not dreaming,"
"Then yeah, yes, please," he responded after a few seconds of silence.
He still thinks it was worth the embarrassment he felt when instead of making fun of how eager he was to accept, the loves of his life smiled and celebrated as they had just won the lottery.
So, apparently, the Gods decided to finally stop playing with him and for once, they gave him one (well, two) good thing.
Now, healing isn't all that bad when he knows he has his boyfriends around the corner, the bad days aren't that bad anymore and it's getting easier to just talk to them wherever he feels overwhelmed.
"You know," Karl said, it was just the two of them, Sapnap had left to visit Bad and was coming back later, Quackity had been making dinner, making sure to leave some for his other boyfriend, "I think you're like the moon,"
He blinked, glancing at Karl with amusement in his eyes, "Yeah?"
"Yeah!" he giggles, resting his chin on his hands, "and Sap is like the sun,"
"Because he's smoking hot?" Quackity mocked, laughing at Karl's pouting face.
"Well, of course, but I meant more metaphorically," Karl responds, "like, he's the sun, you're the moon, both the opposite of the other but you can't exist without each other, you get what I mean?"
Quackity huffed, cleaning his hands on the stupid apron Sapnap insists he uses, for protection he said, but he knows the other better than that and knows it's just because he finds it funny in the way he swears it makes Quackity look like a malewife.
"Yeah, I think I get it," he says, approaching his boyfriend and smiling when he rapidly opens his arms, making grabbing hands at him, "then that means you're the stars," Quackity whispers when he's wrapped in Karl's embrace, "you're even as shiny as them, mi hermosa estrella, it even has a nice ring to it, you sure you weren't a star in your past life, darling?"
He separates a little when his words are only met with silence and he feels lightheaded when he sees his boyfriend with little hearts on his eyes and stars adorning his cheeks, he's always been amazed by Karl's shapeshifting abilities, but he's never seen him adopt such an appearance.
"Oh my- what the honk?! Can you call me that again?" Karl practically begs and the little stars that coat his cheeks seem to dance on his face.
Quackity feels his cheeks start to burn, he probably looks like a fucking lava pool but he couldn't care less at this moment, "Uh, mi hermosa estrella, is that it?"
The stars light up and the hearts on Karl's eyes seem to double, he happily squeaks and puts his hands on Quackity's face.
"Again, please,"
He hums, leaving a kiss on his boyfriend's nose, "Mi hermosa estrella," he says again, relishing in the soft look on Karl's face, "Eres increíble, te daría el mundo entero si pudiera,"
They eat burnt meat that night and with how bad it tasted, they decide to wait for Sapnap so they can see his reaction to food Quackity says is the best thing he's ever cooked and Karl praises it like it's something out of the Gods world.
He's theirs and they are his, Quackity knows it, he really does.
But they've been acting weird, extremely so, even for his boyfriends.
It's saturday and where he would usually wake up with at least one of his partners in bed with him or even the two of them because he's always been a light sleeper, today there's no one there, he knows they're not obligated to be there when he wakes up, but it felt almost like they would always make the effort of not leaving alone one of them (at least, he felt like he needed to be there for them whenever Karl would leave in the soft mornings to go tend things in his library or when Sapnap left to work out earlier than usual)
He follows the sound of whispers to their living room and in there, he sees his boyfriends talking about something.
"Morning," he says, yawning and rubbing his eyes lazily.
Sapnap turns stiffly to look at him, looking like he was caught killing someone.
"Quackity! You're awake," he says matter of factly, Quackity snorts, raising an eyebrow.
"Yep, everything alright? Did I interrupt anything?" and more jokingly, he covers his mouth, giggling playfully, "Were you two kissing, perhaps?"
Karl clears his throat awkwardly and the little hit he gives Sapnap would probably have been unnoticed by anyone that didn't know the pair as well as Quackity, sot the not-so-subtle attitude his boyfriends seem to have made him frown even more.
"Um, yeah! We were, but now that you're awake I should cook breakfast, so maybe you should go rest!" Karl says, making a show of not making eye contact with Quackity.
"I literally just woke up, what are you-" he tries to say, but is rudely disrupted by Sapnap, who takes him by the arm and guides him to the stairs.
"Oh, come on, Karl wants to do something for us! Let's go to bed again and we can talk shit about him," Sapnap tries, still purposefully tugging him.
"I'm here idiot," Karl shouts from the kitchen and before Quackity can process what the fuck is going on, Sapnap sweeps him off the floor in one quick motion, he fights the surprised chirp that wants to leave him and glares at the blaze hybrid when he feels secure enough to not fall.
"Jesus fucking Christ, what the hell do you think you're doing?" he asks, trying his best to sound angry rather than confused.
Sapnap just kisses him on the cheek and grins smugly at him, "What do you think? I'm carrying our grumpy princess back to bed."
That makes him forget about the whole interaction in seconds, deciding that it was his mission to pointedly ignore his boyfriend until he begged him for forgiveness.
(He caves easily, it only takes sweet pet names and a few annoying groans from Sapnap until he's laughing at the put on his boyfriend's face when he won't kiss him on the mouth)
He doesn't think about it again, without really having a reason to, just putting it aside as something his boyfriends would talk to him about when they were ready, the days after that are moving as they always are for him so that only helps to forget that maybe something was wrong.
It becomes something to think about when he finds Karl hiding something one day.
For the first time since who knows how long, he's home early and while he's tired as fuck, he's excited to see his boyfriends and cuddle with them before he eventually falls asleep, singing while he goes up the stairs, he makes his way to their bedroom, smiling when he hears soft ruffling inside.
"Honey, I'm home," he singsongs in the tone he usually uses whenever he wants to get an easy laugh out of someone but stops when he sees Karl crouching and hurriedly shoving something below their bed.
"Angel! Uh, you're here early," he trails offs, glancing at him nervously.
"What were you doing?" Quackity asks, furrowing his eyebrows, any day, he would have ignored it altogether and just laughed it off, but Karl looks too suspicious for everything to be alright, "are you okay?"
Karl nods, looking a little guilty all of sudden, "Of course, sorry, I was looking for something I dropped," he gulps, lowering his gaze to the floor again.
That only makes Quackity more confused, "You sure that's what you were doing?" it's not like Karl should have a reason to lie to him, because while he's pretty sure he saw his boyfriend putting something under their bed, it could just be his tired brain processing things wrong.
"Yeah, don't worry though, I think-" Karl says, standing up and that's when he sees his partner more clearly.
Whatever just happened is forgotten when Quackity inhales sharply and Karl turns to look at him, surprised.
"Darling," Quackity begins, pinching the tip of his nose, "what's that on your hand?"
Now is Karl's turn to frown, who almost speaks before he sees what Quackity is referring to, a cut on his hand.
"Oh, damn, where did that come from?" Karl laughs, unsure and looking like a soon-to-be scolded puppy.
"Is that why you were acting weird?" Quackity sighs, finally discarding his sack and unbuttoning the top buttons of his white dress shirt, he makes his way to their closet and takes their first aid kit from the ground, at the end of the day, is a good thing Sapnap tends to be as protective as his dad, always making sure that if one they were hurt, no matter the size of the bound, they would treat it correctly.
"Sorry," Karl says, he didn't actually respond, but Quackity knows he shouldn't press, not now at least, so he just smiles softly and takes Karl's good hand to guide him to their bed.
"Don't apologize dumbass, you know the rules," Quackity says, with the first aid kit opened on the bed, he takes alcohol and some bandages, rolling his eyes when Karl whistles when he sees him roll up his sleeves.
"The one that says you're always right?" Karl tries, looking hopefully at Quackity.
"That one and the other is that," Quackity says, kissing his boyfriend's cheek, "if we're hurt, we need to let someone help us,"
"Oh, yeah," Karl murmurs, wincing when Quackity starts disinfecting the cut, "I like when one of you follow it,"
Quackity snorts, "Not when you do it?"
"Nah, you know me, I don't like following 'em big 'ol rules," Karl giggles, accentuating each word while he grins at Quackity.
"You're not getting out of this just because you're being all dorky and shit," Quackity scolds without any real heat behind his words, mostly concentrating on covering Karl's hand with the bandages.
"Will I live doc?" Karl asks when Quackity finishes and is putting away the things he just used.
"You'll probably live longer than me, so I wouldn't worry about it too much," Quackity huffs, getting up to put the first aid kit where it was initially.
Thing he doesn't end up doing when long hands hug him from behind a colorful face welcomes him when Karl throws them both to bed.
"Don't say things like that nimrod," Karl mumbles against his beanie, and Quackity hums, smiling when he touches Karl's skin and it changes to random colors, different shapes appearing every once and then.
And that's that, Quackity is pretty sure he ends up falling asleep not even five minutes after accommodating against his boyfriend.
But in the morning, when Karl is nowhere to be seen and Sapnap is still sleeping next to him (when did he come back? Now that he thinks about it, he should have been there hours before Quackity.)
Maybe it's just a series of coincidences, but when Karl goes out the next day and Quackity makes sure that Sapnap is busy taking a shower, he sneaks up to their room, he shouldn't be so intent on knowing what Karl is hiding but it's not like he'll get whatever's under their bed, he just wants to make sure it's not his imagination what happened.
(Quackity ignores that it reminds him on a certain level of when Schlatt would take his things, papers, his communicator and would insist over and over again that he didn't take them, that it was Quackity's fault for losing his things so often and even if he found them days later in his partner's office, Schlatt's words wouldn't come out of his head)
So, it's more small security than a lack of trust in his partner, Quackity will limit himself to confirming that there is something under the bed and already, he does not doubt Karl at all, nor Sapnap, so, if they both have something to tell it, he knows that they will do it in due time.
Reaching down, Quackity lifts the bedspread slightly and his breath leaves it in a matter of seconds.
There's nothing there.
"You okay down there, sweetheart?" he hears Sapnap ask and he jolts to his feet, embarrassed at being caught.
(Being caught doing what? Is he overacting? Overthinking it too much?)
"Yeah, sorry, I thought I saw one of my feathers on the floor," he lies, as easily as breathing and tries to ignore the pang on his chest that reminds him why he's so good at it, "think I might be molting or something,"
"Shit," Sapnap says, his face twisting into a worried expression, "has work been too stressful? You really should rest more," his boyfriend continues while he changes and while it's nothing he hasn't seen before, he still looks at the window to give him some privacy.
"It's nothing and you know me! I love working and anyways, it's not like I can leave Tubbo alone," Quackity reasons because it's true, he loves feeling like he finally has a voice in the decisions that are made around here and spending time with his -relatively speaking- son is great.
"Still, we care about you idiot, we don't want you to overwork yourself until you can't endure it anymore," Sapnap says and Quackity turns around to find his boyfriend hovering over him, "let me help?"
The feeling of Sapnap's natural warmth soothes him and he can only groan, he should say no and he would understand, his boyfriend would leave him to do his own thing if he asked him to, but then that means being left alone with his thoughts and then that means he'll have a breakdown over being such a dramatic bitch because he can't stop thinking that they're hiding something from him, but why would you ever think something is wrong? Look at them! They love you! You're so ungrateful-
"Sure," he ends up saying, thanking the Gods that he maintains his composure.
"Great," Sapnap grins, excitedly pointing at his wings, "let me preen you, then?"
That's something he still appreciates a lot, that they always ask before doing something, yeah, it's fucked up that something so basic means so much to him but it's not like he knew any better before meeting Sapnap and Karl.
He doesn't know that much about his hybrid part, there was no one to teach him shit like that when he was younger, but he knows how to preen so to Quackity it's more than enough, he isn't sure if he was molting if it would be bad to preen his wings, maybe he should research it if someday his lie turns out to be true, but now, with his boyfriend's horns letting out a little smoke, showing how happy he was while he waits for an answer, he can't think about a good reason to not let him.
"You know how to do it?" he asks, suddenly aware of the fact this is the first time he lets one of his partners preen him.
"I've seen you do it, I think I got it," Sapnap confidently says, sitting behind him and again, patiently waiting until Quackity gives him confirmation, "let me know, please, if I hurt you, okay babe?"
Quackity breaths shakily, nodding, "Yeah, will do,"
"I'm going to touch you now," Sapnap says and Quackity smiles softly.
First, he just feels rough hands caressing his wings, a touch so soft and loving it almost makes him flinch, he's not used to this either, feeling so important to someone, to be handed love in the form of hugs and kisses like it's nothing, but meaning everything at the same time.
"That's cute," Sapnap breaths in wonder, and Quackity is jerked to reality.
He frowns and closes his eyes, leaning more against his partner. "What do you mean?"
"You were chirping, like, two seconds ago," Sapnap answers and when he finds his oil gland, he is now conscious about the happy trill he lets out.
Fuck him and his stupid bird brain. "No, I wasn't, you're crazy babe,"
"Are you fucking gaslighting me right now, Q?" Sapnap laughs and Quackity just flips him off, having just a second of self-doubt before he decides Sapnap's skillful hands feel too good to even try to fight his instincts.
"I hate you," is all he says before both indulge in comfortable silence, the only sound being of Quackity's happy noises and Sapnap's laughs.
"I think I want to do this for the rest of our lives," Sapnap whispers after a moment, Quackity is sure he already finished a while ago and has just been passing his hands through his wings, but the words make him open his eyes again.
"I wanted to ask you something," he says, sitting up straighter and turning so he's facing Sapnap.
His boyfriend nods, smiling encouragingly while he gives him his full attention.
Quackity inhales and exhales, working up the nerve to just ask. "Is everything alright? Like- maybe it's me being dumb and shit but I think maybe, you and Karl have been acting kind of strange? So, yeah, I wanted to make sure nothing is going on? Not like I needed to know if something was going on if you weren't ready to tell but, um-"
He's rambling and shuts up when he notices, it's not like Sapnap would be mad with him for it, but he doesn't like to appear not confident with his words.
Sapnap looks at him alarmed for a second before his face turns neutral.
"Of course, everything is okay, I don't think we've acted differently though," Sapnap smiles, something almost reserved, "but you know us, Karl has probably been spending too much time with George,"
Quackity gulps, not entirely convinced, "And you?"
"Uh, I've been helping Bad with something for Skeppy, so I guess that's why maybe you think I might be acting weird? It's a surprise for him, so," Sapnap shrugs.
Quackity nods, there it is, an explanation, one that makes sense and it just means he shouldn't even have asked in the first place.
"Hey, none of that," Sapnap talks again, his face laced with concern.
"What do you mean?" he asks confused, looking at himself, "I'm not doing anything?"
"Come on honey, I know you're doing that shit where you think you're in the wrong for doing something when you're not," Sapnap says, taking his hands and it's only then that Quackity notes that he's been clenching his fists too tightly, leaving slight marks on his palms thanks to his nails, "you're okay, we're okay and there's nothing wrong with talking, communication is a good thing we should do and I know it's still difficult for you, so I'm proud that you're getting better at it,"
"Am I?" Quackity asks softly, he selfishly needs to hear that he's doing better (he tries so damn hard, for them, to be deserving of them) and he can't ask just to hear it again.
Sapnap nods, knowingly, he guides Quackity so he's sitting on his lap, nuzzling against his neck, Quackity trills. "Yes, you are and I mean it when I say I'm proud, me and Karl are so proud of how far you've come," he mutters against his skin and it feels like he's trying to put the words inside of him, so then maybe Quackity would understand how much he means them.
"I love you," Quackity whispers, scratching gently the hair in the nape of his neck.
"Love you too ducky," Sapnap giggles, purring against him.
And now, Quackity feels relatively better, it's not like his intern battles will go away from one day to the next, but it feels right to finally have some confirmation that he was just jumping to conclusions (they weren't even solid ones, he just thought something bad was going one and didn't even stop to think about it) he and his boyfriends are okay, it's obvious they are.
"I'm going to Punz's babe, we'll train and maybe later I'll go to visit Bad," Sapnap tells him in his place next to the door, putting on his boats, he stands and smiles, "see you later,"
"Bye, be safe dumbass," Quackity calls from the couch, still looking at the paper in his hand.
"Love you too, dickhead," Sapnap laughs and then Quackity hears the door opening and then closing, when he's sure his boyfriend has left, he turns to the door and shakes his head, smiling fondly at nothing in particular.
Like ten minutes later, he hears quick footsteps approaching and suddenly, there are a pair of hands covering his eyes, amused giggles sounding behind him.
"Oh my God, Technoblade I thought I told you we couldn't do this type of thing anymore, what would my boyfriends say if they saw you here!" he says in an overly dramatic voice, laughing loudly when the hands disappear and are replaced with fists hitting him gently.
"You're such a nimrod!" Karl says between wheezes, not a trace of angriness in his voice.
"Fuck, Karl, it was you all along?" Quackity asks, snorting when his boyfriend just sticks out his tongue at him.
"I can't believe how mean you are to me," Karl mumbles, his eyes changing from purple to dark green.
"Oh, come on, it was funny," Quackity says, taking Karl's right hand to press a kiss in each of his knuckles, "and anyways, I think I should be mad at you, do you think I would be with fucking Technoblade, of all people?"
Karl giggles and kisses him on the cheek, "I don't know, you have a weird taste in men, not like me, I have great taste in men,"
Quackity huffs and rolls his eyes, "Shut up asshole,"
"Oh! Yeah, I was on my way out, just wanted to let you know I'll be with Niki in the bakery," his boyfriend says before finally giving him a short peck on the lips, "I'll be home soon!"
"Alright, see you handsome," Quackity says goodbye, waving and staring again at the closed door, so, it's only him in the house.
He sighs, rubbing his eyes before continuing working on his paperwork.
Hours later, he wakes up with a sheet covering him and a bottle of water on the table in front of him, his papers (at least, finally revised) rest perfectly arranged next to it.
"What time is it?" he mumbles to himself, thundering his back as he settles into the couch, looking around he distinguishes that voices are coming from upstairs, so that means his partners are already home.
Not like it was hard to guess if the sheet that now rests on the ground and the untouched bottle of water on the table are something to go by.
He drinks from the bottle before standing with a groan, maybe Karl and Sapnap are right, he should rest more, all these all-nighters he's been pulling off are taking revenge with how difficult it is to keep his eyes open even with the nap he took, he still feels like he hasn't slept in days.
Soft whispers make him unconsciously smile, the image of his boyfriends getting ready for bed makes him quicken his pace.
It's not until he's about to open the door to their room he stops dead in his tracks.
"How are we supposed to tell him?" he hears Sapnap murmur, he can't exactly decipher the emotion behind his words, but Quackity knows for a fact he doesn't sound excited.
"You need to stop worrying so much," Karl responds, soothing the other, "he's strong-"
"I know he's strong," Sapnap insists, "but he's been through so much," he stops for a moment and Quackity can hear him sigh, "I don't know how he's going to take this,"
"You're right, we don't, but we still have to tell him," Karl says, his voice incredibly soft.
They might be still talking (talking about him, about telling him something-) but he can't hear them, the only noise is of his heart beating uncontrollably in his chest, an almost imperceptible hissing noise and the only thing that Quackity knows at that moment is that he can't stay there.
He's out of the house before he can think better of it.
Karl and Sapnap want to tell him something, Sapnap was scared about telling him because he's afraid of how he'll react, Karl said they still have to tell him.
They are going to break up with him.
They are going to leave him.
It's the only explanation he can think of, it's the only thing that makes sense, it was just a matter of time, after all, they all end up getting tired of him, because he's a chore, a mess, he's not meant to be loved, he doesn't deserve to hear Sapnap's rants about his manhunts with Dream and George, he doesn't deserve to comb Karl's brown locks while he sleeps.
This shouldn't hurt so much; he knew it was something that was bound to happen at some point and better sooner than later, right? They even were giving him signals! Surely, that's why they had been acting so secretive, why Karl was hiding something that night and Sapnap told him it was nothing when he asked.
He cries until he feels like he can't anymore, all there is to do now is enjoy the little time he has left and start to think about how he will get over them.
(This should be the easy part, in his other relationships, he didn't have time to prepare for the inevitable heartbreak, not with Schlatt's abusive tendencies nor with Wilbur's self-destructive ones, but he can understand this, he can prepare to face the most amazing men on this whole fucked up server and let them go because at some point, they were his and he was theirs.)
It's as easy as he thought when he comes back to their home and feels their warmth when he lies in bed with them.
"Q? Are you busy today?" Karl corners him four days later, he was about to leave so he could- well, hide from them, he knows he's just stalling, but he still needed to commit to memory all of this, their house and memories.
He shouldn't delay this any longer, it's not fair to Karl and Sapnap who have been planning this for so long. "Yeah, yeah! What's up?"
Karl looks away and plays with his fingers, colors changing on his skin as if he's not even aware of it.
"Sapnap and I have something planned, so we were thinking of going out tonight!" he says, trying to sound animated, but Quackity notices the nerves in his tone.
So today it all ends.
Quackity can only smile, moving closer to leave a kiss on Karl's cheeks and finally kiss him slowly on the mouth, "Of course, I'll meet you there?"
Karl looks lost for a second, his gaze fixed on his lips, blinking rapidly and looking like he's about to say something when he decides instead, "Uh yeah sure sounds good, we'll be on the prime path,"
"Okay, see you there," Quackity says and quickly makes his way to the bathroom, hoping Karl hasn't seen the tears threatening to spill down his face.
Hours later, Quackity is wearing his favorite shirt with his best suspenders, one of his most expensive dress pants, and when he looks in the mirror, he can swear he hears Schlatt's snickering behind him.
Thank the Gods, Karl and Sapnap had long since left the house, a message on his communicator telling him that he should start on his way if he ever wanted to get where they were.
Quackity smiles and bites his lip hard, this will be the last time he sees Sapnap's stupid misspelled messages and an excessive amount of emojis that Karl likes to use so much.
Looking at the stars, he remembers a night with Karl and how much his partner enjoyed listening to him speak spanish, he remembers how they bothered Sapnap when he came home and ate the dinner that Quackity had burned.
With the wind blowing in his wings as he approaches Prime's path, Quackity remembers hands passing through them and helping him to preen, he remembers words of confirmation and a white lie that at the time sounded like the promise of a future, he remembers Karl finding them in bed and complaining all morning that he too wanted to preen him.
In the background, Quackity manages to visualize his two boyfriends, they both also seem put together and he's so in love that he feels like he's dying with every step he takes, knowing that he'll never have something like this again.
"Angel, what's up? Are you okay?" Karl asks as soon as he's in front of them and Quackity frowns.
"Sure, why wouldn't I be?" Quackity asks and unwittingly cringes at how cracked his voice sounds.
"What, what's going on? Are you injured?" Sapnap asks, matching Karl's concern and looking him up and down to make sure he didn't had a scratch.
That's the drop that spills the glass.
"I'm so fucking sorry, I'm so pathetic," Quackity sobs uncontrollably, wiping away the tears falling down his face with more force than necessary, "I just need a moment, sorry-"
Quickly someone's hands gently take him and prevent him from rubbing so hard, in front of him is Sapnap, looking at him as if he were the most precious thing in the world and he wanted to protect him from everything bad.
That makes him cry even more.
"Baby, Quack, breathe with me, okay? Follow me," Karl mentions, trying to smile encouragingly at him when Quackity turns to him, clumsily, trying to keep up with Karl's breathing, "just like that, you're doing perfect angel," Karl praises and although Quackity feels he doesn't deserve it, the praise sits right in his chest.
After a few minutes where Sapnap limits himself to caress his hands and where Karl says sweet words to him, Quackity feels that he's relatively well again.
"I'm sorry," he whispers as he looks away, not only delaying the breakup even further but forcing Karl and Sapnap to help him because he can't control his emotions-
"What? Don't apologize, clearly, something happened to make you act like this," Sapnap scolds softly, "do you want to talk about it? Or do you want to go home and cuddle while we watch movies-"
"No," Quackity says, swallowing hard, "no need, you don't have to do anything else for me, I thank you for all this, for all the memories and shit, but-"
"Are you breaking up with us?" Karl asks suddenly, looking at him horrified.
Quackity huffs, incredulous, "What? No! I'm not breaking up with you; you guys are breaking up with me-"
"Since when?!" Karl asks alarmed and Quackity can't help but jump slightly in place, surprised at the raised tone of his voice.
"Okay, cut it out," Sapnap growls, looking just as confused as they are, "no one is breaking up with anyone, Quack, where did you get that that's what we were going to do?"
Quackity sighs, overwhelmed by the attention of his two partners, "Well, it was the obvious thing, you've been acting weird as shit for weeks now and when Sapnap said it was for nothing, I didn't think about it again but I heard you talking a few days ago- and I know it was bad I did it but I had just woken up and I was on my way to our room, and I didn't come in because I heard you were arguing about telling me something and that you weren't sure how I was going to take it and suddenly your weird attitudes made sense and I, I," he finishes, sucking in a breath as he realizes he's said it all at once, the words practically pushing each other to get out.
He closes his eyes, waiting for the worst.
"Quackity," he hears Karl's breath and he reopens his eyes when he hears how unmistakable sad he sounds.
"I'm sorry," he apologizes because it's the only thing he can do, it was his last resource when Schlatt would scream at him and threaten to break his wings and it's what he's doing now when he still isn't sure what the outcome will be.
"Love, please, stop saying sorry," Sapnap begs, looking like he's fighting the urge to cry.
And Quackity doesn't get it.
"Q, we weren't going to break up with you," Karl begins, stumbling a little with his words, "we wouldn't do that, that's not- we love you; I need you to understand it, okay baby? We love you, so fucking much, I love you and I love Sapnap just as much, you're the moon, remember? And he's the sun and I'm the stars and we couldn't live without you,"
He's not sure when he begins crying again, but when Sapnap cleans his tears, he couldn't care less.
"We bought you here because we wanted to tell you something, well, ask you something," Sapnap says, smiling a little.
He turns to look at Karl and he nods, then, both of them turn to look at him.
"Quackity, you've been through so much in your life and you didn't deserve the tough path the Gods put you in, Karl and me, we have known each other since practically forever and we were happy, we loved each other and we still do, but it felt like something was missing, you know?"
"That something was you," Karl continues, he's crying too now, but he still smiles like he hasn't been happier, "you complement us, Quackity, you're the piece of our puzzle that was missing and we want to give you the world because you deserve it, you deserve being treated right,"
Sapnap sighs shakily and at the same time as Karl, he takes a little dark blue box from his pocket.
"Quackity, would you marry us?" they ask at the same time.
Love and Quackity don't mix, Schlatt said countless times he wasn't worthy of anything good, partners in the past told him every day how annoying he was, he thought it was the truth because there wasn't anyone who told him otherwise.
But they're there, asking him to marry them because they love him.
"I don't understand," Quackity says, and like when they confessed, it's hard to just accept that they want him.
"What's not to understand?" Karl laughs wetly, taking Quackity's face in his hands, Quackity looks him straight in the eye, "we love you; we want to spend the rest of our lives with you, we'll repeat it as many times as we need to make you understand it, angel,"
Sapnap nods, his hands taking Quackity's, "We've been planning this surprise because we thought you deserved a real proposal," and laughing somewhat sadly, he shakes his head, "I'm sorry you thought we were going to leave you, you couldn't have been farther from reality,"
Quackity laughs, unable to help it, "Maldita sea, no, I'm sorry, I screwed up everything and-"
"Don't say that silly," Karl cuts him off, leaning in to kiss his forehead, "you didn't mess anything up, this isn't your fault, okay? It was ours,"
"We should have talked and planned this better, besides, we aren't good at lying and hiding things," Sapnap continues, chuckling. "We probably looked suspicious as fuck and it didn't help you heard us talking and sounding so ominous,"
"Okay, okay, none of that, if I can't blame myself, neither can you," Quackity says, inhaling hard to let the air out slowly, feeling his tears finally start to stop, "it wasn't anyone's fault, yeah?"
Karl laughs and Sapnap nods, they move closer so that Quackity can be between them to hug him.
"It's a yes, by the way," Quackity whispers after a while.
"Yes, what?" Sapnap asks, confused, his hand who was caressing his side gently stops, squeezing softly his waist.
"I want to marry you I don't I could ever think of a world where the answer would be no," he says, the confidence that characterizes him showing up now that he's certain where he stands with his boyfriends.
"You're not joking, right?" Karl asks, tone playful but still a little worried, "it's not like we would obligate you if you didn't want to-"
"No, no, you wouldn't get me to do something I didn't want to do even if you tried, but," he laughs, butterflies dancing on his chest, "I really, really want to and I know you repeat how much you love me and want me because it's still difficult for me to accept it, but I want to remind you too of how fucking happy you make, you two helped me so much when I was at my lowest, I love you more than I could ever felt possible to,"
He blushes when he sees his boyfriends gaze on him, so full of love and he doesn't even know how he doubted them in the first place.
"You're killing me, ducky," Sapnap laughs, putting his hand over his chest.
"Oh my god, oh my god, so that means we're now fiancés?" Karl asks, excitement written all over his face.
"Yeah, we're fiancés," Quackity laughs, feeling like he's on top of the world, "where are your rings, by the way?"
Sapnap takes another box out of his pocket, this one a dark purple, "Here, we wanted to concentrate on you before anything else," he laughs.
"It wasn't like we needed something big, but we wanted to do something special for you!" Karl says, taking from his sweater a red box.
They open the boxes and in there Quackity can see two beautiful rings, in Karl's box there is one with blue gems and beautiful purple decorations and the other one has a pretty red gem with the same purple decorations around it.
The same blue gem can be seen in one of the rings in Sapnap's box and the other one is a ring with a purple gem with red decorations accompanying it.
After some bantering, while they each put the two rings on each other, Quackity smiles fondly when he sees the matching jewelry.
"I love you guys," he says, feeling himself blush when he looks at his boyfriends- fiancés.
It feels surreal.
"We love you too, angel," Karl giggles, his eyes turning from purple to a beautiful yellow.
"You two are my entire universe," Sapnap says, his hands letting some smoke.
Quackity takes both of their hands in his and he knows he'll be alright with them.