Chapter Text
There’s an itch under his skin, he’s frustrated and on edge as he pushes forward in the sea of bodies to get to the kitchen and get a much needed glass of water. His eyes burn from the sleepless nights he has spent studying and his head buzzes with the headache he has acquired from the consumption of too much alcohol in celebration of finals being over, finally. And of course, his hyung’s just had to hold the biggest party on the campus and invite even the janitors because it sure is packed.
Breaking out from the body of the crowd, he’s finally able to breathe and find his way to the kitchen. They must be out of booze because no one is flocking the kitchen anymore, just a couple heavily making out in one corner. He guesses it’s only logical, it’s 4 a.m. and the party has been on since 10 p.m. obviously they would run out of alcohol. Well, he’s glad he isn’t here for that.
Ignoring the smooching noises coming from the couple, he successfully fetches a water bottle from the fridge and drains it dry. Throwing the plastic bottle in the trash just in time as in the next second a small, warm body is latching onto his back with a triumphant cry; “found you! I was looking for you everywhere, Kook!” Oh yeah! He almost forgot he had a boyfriend for two months now under the effect of the alcohol.
He never asked for one. His intoxicated mind supplies and he has to roll his eyes. But maybe that’s a bad idea cause his head starts to hurt even more.
Rubbing at the side of his head, he tilts his face to look at a petulant bundle of mochi peering at him angrily. Only, his boyfriend can’t even pull the mad look off and instead, he looks like an angry chick. He turns fully so now his boyfriend is falling fully against his chest, in all his expensive. cute ass glory. “I just came to fetch a some water, babe,” he tells him, flicking at his small nose before bending so he can drop a kiss against his soft lips to appease him. Twice. Maybe three times because there’s no one around to stare at them.
Jimin rolls his eyes heavenwards, his eye makeup is a little smudged and his gloss is almost all gone. He curses himself mentally cause he caused that earlier and now he’d have to help take it off too. “Okay, well. Can we go home? I’m really tired, bun,” his boyfriend pouts childishly and he has to laugh cause he’s such a little manipulator.
“Sure, princess,” he gets a hit in his chest and a red-faced Jimin telling him to “quit it” before they make their way towards the entrance. “Should I find you your coat, princess?” He teases some more and this time Jimin turns to push against his chest with both hands in mock-anger.
He would’ve continued the teasing if a body didn’t collide against his side harshly, causing him to lose his balance all together. And then, he’s falling taking both the person who collided with him down as well as Jimin.
He falls flat on the ground and the stranger falls on his chest, making him let out an “omph” under the sudden weight. he registers Jimin falling beside him too and hissing. But that’s not important because in front of him, laying on his chest is Kim Taehyung, his childhood friend who went to study art aboard when they turned sixteen.
He looks good. So freaking good. With his black curly hair falling into his long eyes, shock on his face as he grips Jeongguk white shirt with both his hands. He notes that his hands are slender and artistic just like the rest of him. “Jeon Jeongguk!” He exclaims in his deep voice and Jeongguk is beaming as he engulfs him in a hug. His closest friend.
“Kim Taehyung!” He squeezes the other in his arms, “Fuck! It’s been too fucking long!” He pats the slender boy on his back before separating from him.
“It has! I’ve missed you so much!” Taehyung grins at him and he finds himself naturally smiling back.
“I missed you too! Nothing has been the same without you!” He shakes his head as memories of their colourful childhood invades his mind.
They’re both sitting now, Taehyung practically on his lap but he doesn’t mind, Taehyung has always been the one person he could initiate skinship with, just for comfort, “I would say the same, Gukkie. Wait, are you hurt? You took a very bad fall and on top of that I fell on you,” Taehyung is suddenly concerned, eyes worried as he runs his hands all over his chest for any wounds.
And he would’ve smiled fondly if he wasn’t reminded that another person fell with them. He quickly whips his head around to meet eyes with Jimin. In his happiness to finally be reunited with Taehyung, he had completely forgotten about his boyfriend. And the fact that he fell. And the fact that he could’ve been hurt.
He watches with wide eyes as Yoongi and Hoseok sits besides him, a first aid kit in Yoongi’s hands as he rubs cotton, probably doused in disinfectant against Jimin’s small palm. That causes Jimin to winch and just like that, he’s hiding his eyes.
He’s quick to free himself of Taehyung’s long limbs in order to get to Jimin in a few seconds then, eyes wide and worried, “Baby, I’m so sorry. How?” He questions, watching Yoongi put a bandaid over the small cut on Jimin’s pink palm.
Jimin doesn’t meet his eyes when he speaks, “I… there was broken glass over there. Hoseok Hyungie picked it now. It’s just a scratch, don’t worry,” he shrugs halfheartedly, his little hand falling on his lap.
“Let me look..” he’s cut off when Taehyung comes to see who took his attention away.
“Who is this?” Taehyung drawls, his eyes curiously fitting over Jeongguk’s friends and boyfriend.
“Oh! Yeah. Taehyung, these are my hyungs, Yoongi and Hoseok hyungie,” his hyungs smile at Taehyung, although he can see they’re not quite done fussing over Jimin yet. “And this is Jimin, my err… boyfriend,” he doesn’t miss the way Jimin’s eyes flash at his hesitation. He rubs his neck to chase away the uncomfortable feeling of guilt, “Guys, this is Kim Taehyung, my childhood friend,” he completes.
“Hi, Taehyung! You’re so handsome, man!” Hoseok ever the cheerful greets him with a beam to which Tae giggles and mutters a soft “thank you”
“Hey, Taehyung.” Yoongi is reproachful in his greeting as he always is around new people before his attention ultimately shifts to Jimin again, holding on to his small hand delicately. It makes Jeongguk a little furious.
“Hi, Taehyung. It’s good to meet you!” Jeongguk can tell Jimin forces a smile, because it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. They’re not crescents. He frowns.
“Hey! I can’t believe my Gukk has a boyfriend. And that too so pretty! Wait, what happened to your hand?” Taehyung’s eyes finally falls on the said hand and Jimin is giggling, this time genuinely. Jeongguk feels something akin of relief stretch down his spine.
“It’s nothing. And thank you, you’re pretty yourself!” Jimin, ever the charmer gives Tae a cute smile.
“Well, I’m glad we’re done with introductions but are we going to sit here all night? My butt hurts.” It’s Yoongi that speaks in an exasperated tone and everyone bursts into laughter. Jeongguk especially notes the way Jimin giggles so cutely, falling into their hyung’s lap and swatting at him. No, he doesn’t feel jealous of their closeness. Yoongi and Jimin has known each other longer than he knows them. Of course they’re comfortable. Just like him and Tae.
And so they stand up, Yoongi helping Jimin up and tickling his little chin and Hoseok dusting his clothes off. Jungkook stares at Jimin and Taehyung smirks at his friends whipped behaviour. “Gukk, you should take a hold of your boyfriend before your ears start to turn red in jealousy,” he whispers sneakily. Laughing when he gets elbowed for the teasing.
“I’m not jealous,” Jeongguk tells him before turning, as if to find a secluded quiet spot so he can catch up with his friend.
He’s stopped though, by a lilting soft voice. “Kookie,” he turns and he’s looking at Jimin. With his hand still in Yoongi’s. “I, uh… I’ll go back to the dorms,” he looks unsure now, eyes not meeting Jeongguk. “You, uh, you guys can catch up,” why does he sound so sad?
“Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow then,” Jeongguk replies. His boyfriend is tired, he doesn’t want to hold him back any longer.
“Oh… okay,” he watches, something akin of smug satisfaction blossoming in his chest as Jimin steps forward, untangling his hand from Yoongi’s so he can wrap his fingers around the lapels of Jeongguk’s jacket. He looks shy as he gets on his tip toes to press a sweet kiss against Jeongguk’s lips. His lips linger a little. And Jeongguk wants to deepen the kiss, dig into the smaller’s sweet mouth but he refrains. Mainly because he’s not big on PDA and also because he’ll get aroused if he gets a taste of Jimin. So he stays put until Jimin steps back, the previous lightness now replaced with a downward frown on his face. He hides it well though.
“Taehyung, it was great meeting you! I hope we can see each other soon,” Jimin smiles at Taehyung. No smiles for Jungkook?
“We will, for sure. Count me a constant from now on,” Taehyung beams and Jeongguk wishes he had fixed it immediately when the remaining light dims on Jimin’s face.
*
Autumn brings a lot of things melancholic. The death of nature all around them, the frigidness of the wind, the falling of leaves. This autumn brought arguments to them. So many of them. And always about the same thing.
Jungkook just has not enough time for Jimin.
It’s been four months since they’ve started going out after knowing each other for years as friends. It’s been two months since Kim Taehyung got back into Jeongguk’s life. And with the closeness of the two childhood friends that grew everyday, Jimin and Jeongguk have been steadily growing distant.
Jeongguk never imagined Jimin to be the problematic kind. He has always been soft and sweet, a bit of a charmer. He didn’t think Jimin would be the one to pull back from Jeongguk so much, mainly because Jimin was the one who chased him for years until Jeongguk gave in and decided to go out with him. He never thought they’d grow so distant after being such close friends and then boyfriends.
Today as he knocks at Jimin’s door, he’s expecting to be greeted by Jimin’s smiling face and a muffin or cupcake which Jimin makes a routine of, knowing his boyfriend misses breakfast everyday. He is greeted with a nicely packed bagel, just not Jimin’s smile. The bagel finds his hands as Jimin presses it into them with small delicate fingers, “Good Morning, Jeongguk,” The smaller is hiding his face, a cute purple scarf wrapped around his neck and a yellow beanie on his head. He’s also bundled in a white coat and yellow mittens to match his beanie. All and all, he’s the cutest boy Jeongguk has ever seen. And he wishes he could kiss him.
But what throws him off is the bags under Jimin’s eyes, the eye-smiles he constantly grants Jeongguk not in sight. “Morning, Min. Ready to go?” He ask softly, a small frown on his lips because his boyfriend looks like he pulled an all-nighter like him and Tae last night. Only, he remembers Jimin told him he was home cuddling his cat mimi when he texted him in the evening yesterday. He and Tae had gone out to the movies last night.
The smaller boy nods before stepping out and locking his door with a swift click. This is the part where he whines that Jeongguk carries his heavy bag because “Kookie, it’s not fair! You only take a register while I have to carry so many heavy books on my small shoulders” and Jeongguk would carry it for him easily, not before teasing him about being a princess. But Jimin would just stick his tongue out at him before interlocking their fingers.
Today nothing like that happens, his shoulders are light and his hand cold as they make if out of the dorms building. Jimin has both straps of his cute cartoon bag on his slender shoulders and he’s walking a step ahead of him, as if in a hurry to leave his presence. It confuses him because this isn’t routine and the silence isn’t comfortable like it usually is.
So he clears his throat, his nerves getting the best of him, “Did you have a good night, Jimin?” He croaks half-assedly and the smaller doesn’t speak a word just hums in affirmation. “What did you do?” He tries again.
There’s a pause before the smaller replies, distantly, “waited for you. What about you? Did you have fun with Tae?” Jimin directs it like an accusation and Jeongguk is getting even more confused.
“I… yes but, why were you waiting for me? I never visit on weekdays except… shit!” He suddenly realises the day it is today. He fucked up. In his excitement to go watch Ironman with Tae, he completely forgotten that it was Wednesday night. The night they’ve designated as their movie night. It was Jimin and Jeongguk night even before they became boyfriends. “I’m so so sorry, Min!” He presses a hand on Jimin’s shoulder to turn him around. The smaller doesn’t look at him still, finding his yellow sneakers more interesting to look at. “Tae planned this a while ago and I seriously didn’t remember it was a Wednesday night, please forgive me.”
Suddenly his boyfriend looks small, too small. As if he’s curling in on himself, too hurt to be consoled. It’s making Jeongguk feel protective. Like he wants to gather him in his arms and squeeze away all the worries that have been clogging his beautiful head recently. But what does he do if they’re all caused by him?
Jimin gives him a shrug and a downward tilt of his soft lips, “It’s okay, it doesn’t matter,” his voice is small and soft, as if he’s afraid to say the wrong word.
“No, I know it matters. I know how much it does to you. Please baby, I’m sorry.” Jeongguk’s getting desperate, he’s aware. His boyfriend isn’t even looking at him in the eye and it’s making him feel guilty and just all fucking wrong.
“Trust me, Kook. It’s okay, I’m not mad.” Jimin gives him a halfhearted smile, one that doesn’t reach his eyes. “I should get to class,” his boyfriend is turning around and stepping away.
And Jungkook feels fear sing in his veins along with helplessness. How does he tell him that it’s not about his anger that he’s worried about. It’s about the sadness in his eyes. But all he can manage is a laughable, “Wait, Jimin! How did you know I was with Tae though?” He asks, shouts.
“Because it’s always Tae, Kook. He’s your constant. Isn’t he?” Jimin glances sideways at him and he doesn’t speak loudly like Jeongguk did but he hears him nevertheless.
And It makes him want to hurt himself ‘cause, isn’t Jimin a constant too?
*
Jimin being the youngest in their group of friends garners a lot of protective attention. Five grown up adults always looking out for him and showering him with love and care. Even if it comes in Seokjin’s dad jokes to brighten his mood or Yoongi’s silent hand holds. It comes when Hoseok turns full-on mother mode on him and sometimes, it comes in Namjoon’s deep heart to heart conversations. It also comes in Jeongguk’s silent attentiveness, the way he follows him with his eyes and how he takes care of him so much but also subtly, as if in secret.
And most of the times, the youngest is happy and thankful for the care they shower him with. Just not today, not when he’s had a huge argument with Jeongguk again. Not when his boyfriend doesn’t even try to defend himself anymore. As if he has accepted that he doesn’t hold romantic feelings for the smaller boy at all.
Recently, all of the things he has always admired about Jeongguk has turned into the things he hate. He used to love the way he acted so aloof but was always so soft with Jimin. So shy of attention but readily accepting Jimin’s touch as if starved for it. He never initiated it himself though, never in their five months of relationship and seven years of friendship. And only now does Jimin question, why?
Jimin wishes he was more understanding towards his insecurities, he wishes they weren’t thrown at his face every time they had a fight. He wishes Jeongguk would hold him, kiss the shit out of him, just be with him for once because he wants it too. Not because Jimin is in love with him and he feels guilty. Not out of pity.
Jimin wishes he could be loved by Jeongguk.
That brings him to now, the oldest hyungs have arranged a movie night in hopes of having some bonding time and making the youngest feel good since he’s been slump for a while now. They have booze, a meal that Seokjin volunteered to prepare, snacks and an extensive collection of movies. They planned tonight to be just like old times, when all six of the best friends would get ass drunk and talked about everything and nothing.
But all that is crushed when Jeongguk enters Jin’s apartment with Taehyung in tow. Jimin can tell his hyungs are taken aback without even looking up from the space he has burrowed for himself in Hoseok’s stomach because they all go silent. It’s not that Jeongguk hasn’t brought Tae over for their regular nights before, him and his hyungs know him quite well now. It’s just that they planned this night for them alone.
He hears a couple of awkward greetings at the entrance before he hears the distinct noise of Jeongguk’s stompers being taken off. He acts dead to the world when the duo makes it inside. He closes his eyes and acts he doesn’t exist, sliding even lower on the couch so his head is covered by the soft comforter and his face is pressed against Hobi’s stomach. He feels Hobi run his fingers in his hair under the comforter, probably thinking that he’s asleep.
He hears Hobi greet the duo, doing some sort of weird handshake with Tae that they’ve invented recently on one of their club night as he asks him how he’s been.
“Where’s Jimin?” Jeongguk’s low voice ring in his ears and he wishes he could hide somewhere no one could find him, especially Jungkook. Jimin never thought something as beautiful as love would manage to hurt him so deeply and constantly. But he guesses that’s what he signed up for when he begged Jungkook to be his boyfriend when the older had no interest in him whatsoever. Now, after being introduced to Tae he knows why.
“Oh, he’s right here. He probably fell asleep waiting for you. Let me wake him,” he feels the comforter being ripped from his head as Hobi exposes him to the one person he was looking to avoid. He feigns sleep still.
“No, it’s okay. Let me take him off you, Hyung, you must be uncomfortable,” what does he mean Hobi is uncomfortable? Jimin makes a habit of cuddling with everyone in his friends group. Does he mean that Jimin is too heavy? Has he gained weight? Obviously he isn’t as stunning as Jeongguk’s childhood friend.
The words make Jimin want to throw up the little snack he had earlier. He feels hands holding him up so Hobi can slide out from under him easily, “Kook, it’s fine. You know we’re used to our Minnie sleeping on us all the time.” Hobi feebly protests but he gets off the couch anyways.
“It’s okay, Hyung. I’ll support his head,” Jeongguk mutters before he sits down on the couch and manoeuvres him so now his head rests on the muscled thigh of his boyfriend. He should probably get up now, it’s getting too much. Even if he feels giddy from the attention he gets from his lover.
He hears Hobi say something about helping Jin out with food and scrambling out of the living room. He doesn’t notice where Tae goes though because in the next moment, he’s hearing him speak very close to his face. As if he’s been studying him. And that almost makes him jump, “He looks sad, Kook,” a slender finger traces his cheekbones softly, the words catching him off-guard.
“I know. I just... don’t know what to do, Tae. At this point, I’m starting to believe I can’t make him happy,” He hears resignation in Jeongguk’s voice and suddenly his heart is breaking all over again. Another hand comes to trace away the frown between his brows, causing the first to leave.
“That’s bullshit, Kook. Stop sounding so resigned. It’s like you’re ready to quit,” He hears Tae speak, a passion in his voice that is ill-paced for him. Why does he care so much for Jimin? His words causes his throat to close up though, his heart breaking the more Jeongguk hesitates to speak.
“I… I don’t know. I care for him a lot, I just want him happy again,” he hears Jeongguk speak and he just wants to vanish now.
“That’s clearly not enough, is it Gukk?,” Tae mutters and he guesses Jeongguk shakes his head to the question. But before either of them can say something else, he hears Jin calling them for dinner. He breathes lowly to gather his wits as Tae gets up and walks away, leaving him and Jeongguk alone with his insecurities.
He feels Jeongguk run his fingers in his hair, pulling them off his face before he bends down to press a kiss right against his forehead. And the simple action makes him want to cry all over again. “Jimin, hey. Wake up, princess,” slender fingers trace down his torso before poking his sides, making him squirm. “Dinner is ready, you have to eat,” Jeongguk’s voice is soft as he specks to him and it makes him want to believe that the taller is just shy and actually loves Jimin. But what good would that do.
So he blinks his eyes slowly, getting kissed on both brows when he furrows them. “Kook,” he speaks with so much emotion, he hopes Jeongguk doesn’t hear it.
“Yes, Princess. It’s me, wake up before Jin Hyung comes and drags you to the dining table himself,” Jungkook gently coaxes him up and he just goes along with him, feeling numb to almost everything.
“Yeah, I don’t wanna be dragged anymore,” Jimin nods to himself, giving a sad smile to Jungkook before he’s getting up and off the coach.
Jungkook doesn’t let him get far though. He clasps a large hand around his wrist and he’s forced to look at the elder then. “Jimin, hey,” Jungkook searches his face, looking up into his eyes with a certain vulnerability he has never seen on the older before, “I’m sorry about earlier. I got mad for no reason, you were right. You should come above everything,” Jungkook brings his hand close, pressing a kiss into his palm. The same one that sports a small scar now from the night three months back when he fell at Yoongi’s party.
“But I don’t, Kook. And it’s okay,” he goes to pull his hand away from the older, his heart exhausted from all this push and pull. But Jeongguk holds fast, something akin of desperation shining in his eyes alongside determination.
“No, baby. You do. Please,” he’s being pulled closer to older boy, the space between them rapidly decreasing until his standing between Jeongguk’s strong thighs. Jeongguk is clasping at both his hands now, “baby, just understand, I’m trying,” doe-eyes look at him pleadingly.
And really Jimin should free him off his misery. This relationship is weighing Jeongguk down too much. He didn’t wanted it to begin with, he got into it because he felt bad for Jimin. And now Jimin is causing him pain and stress by being a pissy ass only because the one person he loves, doesn’t love him back. And now he’s starting to believe he never can. He’s starting to believe Jeongguk’s heart belongs to a particular gorgeous boy with boxy smiles.
Just a little more. He’s just not ready to let go yet.
So he just nods, a single tear drops from his eye before he can gather himself, “I understand, Jeongguk.” He tries to smile for the older although he might as well be grimacing. But Jeongguk readily accepts it, moving to his feet so he can press a tight kiss against Jimin’s forehead.
“Will make it up to you, princess. I promise you that,” he gets kissed on both eyes before tattooed fingers are intertwining with his and leading him towards the noise of excited chattering of his hyungs and the boy he wishes he could be.
*
Rough, tattooed fingers grip his hips, pressing him harder against the wall as he mewls feebly against bunny lips that kiss him so hungrily, he’s left gasping. He’s thankful for the tight grip Jeongguk has on his hips because it wasn’t for him, Jimin would’ve been laying in puddle on the floor by now.
Getting cornered by your boyfriend in a janitor’s closet might not be an ideal situation but for Jimin, it feels perfect. Mainly because he has missed this so much. The easy intimacy they share when they’re alone, the hunger with which Jeongguk always devours him with. Like he’s been starving until he got his mouth against plush lips.
Jimin grips Jeongguk’s jacket in both hands as he’s forced onto his tiptoes in order to reach the older boy. The messy noises of their make out would be embarrassing if Jimin wasn’t so out of it. Jeongguk seems desperate, more than he usually is because he’s wrapping his hands around the smaller’s thighs and lifting him off the next moment. The squeak Jimin let’s out at the sudden action gets lost in the taller’s mouth as he is placed on the small table in the middle of the small room. An overhead light flickering to provide the little light they can get to see each other’s faces.
He’s being pushed so he lays flat on the dusty table as the taller makes quick work of unbuttoning his shirt. Soft lips pressing fervently to every inch of skin that gets exposed. Jimin can’t keep his voice down although he really, really tries to but it’s just been too long that he has felt Jeongguk’s touch.
“Hyung,” he whines when the older bites down on his rosy nipple, making the soft pink bloom a rosy red.
The older laughs against his nipple at the sound, nuzzling the centre of his chest with fondness, “Oh, so now I’m hyung?” Tattooed fingers trace his smooth thighs, hiking his plaid blue shirt further up. “What do you want, princess? What do you think Hyung should do to you?” The question is followed by a deep kiss that has him moaning against the taller’s mouth. The term of endearment turning him on even more.
“Want you, hyung. Please,” soft pleas leave sexy full lips and the Jeongguk has never been strong against Jimin’s demands.
“Such an obedient little princess. So fucking polite,” the older practically growls against Jimin’s ear before taking a pretty, earring studded earlobe in his mouth. He sucks hard, making the smaller keen before his hand travels down on his body to pull his skirt further up and expose his blue panties. “So pretty. The prettiest,”
And Jimin practically blooms under his praises. Starry black eyes studying every inch of him as he shudders pathetically. Needing the older boy closer, needing him inside. He older is almost reverent in his ministrations, not leaving a single inch of skin untouched as his mouth works dutifully over Jimin’s nipples. His thumb lazily stroking the head of Jimin’s clothed cock as if they have all the time in the world and Jimin just wants to cry in neediness.
He doesn’t realise he is crying until slender fingers wipe against his cheeks, a soft kiss pressed to his eye as the older coos down at him. And that makes him tear up even more, small pretty fingers clasping the order’s black shirt and trying to pull him closer. And then he’s being kissed, so hard he can feel his lips bruise under Jeongguk’s mouth. His small hands moving everywhere to touch his lover with a desperate fervour.
The older growls in his mouth, his fingers travelling down to unclench his belt and the sound of metal jiggling is like music to Jimin’s ears, it makes him cry happy tears.
Suddenly the sound of a phone going off fills the small space and Jimin notes it’s coming from Jeongguk’s pocket if the vibrations against his leg is anything to go by. He doesn’t let the older give it any mind though and it seems like they’re both on the same wavelength. The older doesn’t even pause as he hastily undoes his fly and fit himself between Jimin’s spread thighs, fingers desperately clinging around the smaller’s body.
But the ringing doesn’t stop. It rings and rings and in the end Jeongguk has to check who it is as Jimin protests against it. He stands up to retrieve his phone from the pocket of his jeans that currently lie in his feet, he doesn’t even check who it is. Just pressing the phone against his ear while his eyes are set on a certain blonde beauty that sits up in order to reach him. Rosebud lips pressing against his sternum in seemingly innocent kisses.
“Hello,” one hand tangles in the smaller boy’s pretty hair and the other holding the phone, Jimin feels the moment Jeongguk tenses in his arms. He didn’t check who called him but he doesn’t have to with the way Jeongguk steps out from the cocoon if his arms and legs, pausing when the smaller lets out a keen of protest, pretty brows furrowed. “Shit, okay… just… yes, yes, I’m coming. Please, be careful.” The taller seems desperate to assure the person on the other line but it’s when the smaller hears him talk about leaving does he let out a pathetic sob.
And the older is on him the moment he cuts the call, kissing his face all over and muttering apologies as he buttons up his white shirt for him disregarding his own jeans sitting in a pile at his feet. “I’m so sorry, princess. I gotta go. Tae is in trouble, I gotta help him out. I’ll come to you tonight, I promise, baby. I’m so sorry,” and Jimin just ceases to cry altogether when he hears the other boy’s name. Instead he nods in mock surrender, wiping at his rubicund eyes and swallowing his pleas as the older boy starts to fix his own clothes now.
He gets down from the table with wobbly legs, smoothing a hand down his shirt and looking around for his book bag, feeling numb and confused. And maybe a little bit like he wants to cry in a campus toilet. The object in question is thrust into his line of sight the next moment by a sheepish Jeongguk. He doesn’t let him take it from his hands though, “let me walk you to class, princess,” the older boy seems unsure even when he suggests the notion.
“No, you should go. Whatever Tae needs you for is more important. I can find my way perfectly still,” the smaller doesn’t realise the bitterness of his words until Jeongguk sucks in a breathe. And he wants to facepalm himself for giving so much away.
“Wow, you need to stop being so fucking selfish, Jimin,” the words sting, so much that the smaller has to take a step back in order to take them. And when he does, there are tears shining in his eyes that he desperately tries to hide by not looking the older boy in the eye.
The older seems to have realised his mistake because he curses under his breathe, pressing his fingers to the bridge of his nose and sighing, “I’ll see you tonight, princess. I’ll explain everything,” he mutters softly, having changed his approach.
The smaller just nods, taking his book bag from the older’s hands and putting it on. And Jeongguk wants to hold him, look into his eyes again that he’s dead set on hiding but his phone rings again and he’s forced to leave his boyfriend behind in a janitor’s closet as he rushes to help his best friend.
Later that night when Jeongguk walks to Jimin’s door, tired and absolutely drained. He knocks.
And knocks…
And knocks…
But Jimin never opens the door.
*
He’s smiling brightly, something that he has almost forgotten he can do anymore. There’s a large cup of hot chocolate in his small hands, pretty fingers peaking around it from the sleeves of a yellow jumper and orange glasses perched on his nose as he leans against their oldest hyung. Jin is telling him a story about one of his colleagues that slipped and toppled an entire buffet at one of his company meetings. And Jeongguk is sure they’ve heard this story before but the younger’s adorable giggles makes it worth listening to for a second time. Or thirtieth.
His heart hurts from how much he misses his boyfriend. The younger always coming up with excuses to avoid him every time he calls to meet up. It’s been a week since he last saw the smaller boy and thinking back on how he was going to decline his hyungs’ offer for a movie night, too moody from the absence of his boyfriend and his sunny presence. This makes it worth it, being able to see the younger and bask a bit in his pretty giggles.
His fingers flex beside him as Jimin leans against Yoongi, the older telling him to be careful with his drink as he almost drops it on himself. And he just… feels so helpless. He can practically see the smaller moving away from him, creating distance that he can’t seem to bridge, misunderstandings over misunderstandings over misunderstandings. He doesn’t know how to make it better. He doesn’t know how it went so wrong. And with Jimin of all people.
His Jimin. The kid who followed him around like a puppy, trying to get his attention and praise in every kind of situation. The one who would fight to sit beside Jeongguk and throw a fit when Jeongguk wouldn’t give him enough attention, pout for hours until he was consoled by the older boy. The beautiful boy who chased after him for years. Strived to capture his heart for years.
How did they become like this?
He swallows thickly when an arm is draped over his shoulder, the familiar scent of cinnamon and leather filling his lungs. “Do you plan on staring at him all night like a lunatic?” The gruff voice of his best friend reaches his ears and he elbows him in the ribs before he can say more. Tae just laughs, “what! If that’s what you’re into, I’m not judging, dude,”
“Must you be so obnoxious?” He asks his friend as the group makes their way inside the movie theatre.
“I must, in order to keep up with you, my darling,” his best friend speaks as they’re directed to their seats. He hurries to sit beside Jimin even though he knows full well that no one will take his seat anyway.
The way his boyfriend’s eyes widen at the sight of him makes it worth it though, a small smile breaking on his face, “Kookie! When did you join us?” His eyes glitter as he speaks and Jeongguk has missed him too much to be bothered by his social awkwardness it seems because in the next moment, he’s pressing his lips to the smaller’s in a visceral kiss. Jimin seems taken aback at his action and rightly so. He’s not big on PDA, so he has never kissed his boyfriend in public before, not even in front of his hyungs.
His hyungs seem thrilled to see him flaunting his relationship all too much because they literally holler and cheer in a movie theatre. Jungkook can feel the amount of eyes on them but that doesn’t stop him from licking into Jimin’s mouth, desperate for a taste. What makes him stop is the heat of Jimin’s blush against his fingers and the embarrassed mewl the smaller let’s out in his mouth. He parts his lips from Jimin, not before pecking him twice on his rosebud mouth. “Hi, princess,” the smaller blushes a pretty shade of red under his gaze before he’s bringing his hands up to cover his small face.
“Hi, hyung,” the smaller says back, but he might as well be whining if the soft beak on his face is anything to go by. Jeongguk just laughs, pressing his smile in the smaller’s hair and inhaling deeply to get that chocolate enriched vanilla scent that always clings to the youngest into his lungs.
“Pretty baby,” he mutters in the smaller’s hair, feeling Jimin practically vibrate under the praise. “Joined you guys when Jimin hyung was telling you that funny company dinner story for probably the hundredth time. When will you stop finding it funny?” He asks, his arm winding around the younger boy’s small frame, settling against his waist where he proceeds to draw patterns against the sweater covered flesh.
“I think never. The fact that they were forced to eat take out after Jin hyung ate our ears out about the good food he was going to have is even funnier. What a broke ass company,” Jimin giggles and the older boy joins him. Only after tutting at the younger for using a bad word.
His heart feels full, finally satisfied now that he has the Jimin’s attention all for him. Funny, how time changes. The one who would get tired of being constantly pestered by Jimin for attention now begs for younger boy’s attention every day.
His fingers find Jimin’s softer ones just as the movie starts and the cinema is washed in darkness. And as Jimin squeezes back against his hand, he knows they’ll be just fine.
*
The group make it’s way out on the deserted streets after three movies and a whole lot of food. Jimin feels high on happiness, pleasantly buzzed as he hums to himself. Jungkook’s hand in his and their friends chatting animatedly as they walk the short distance from the food place to Jin’s apartment. Most of the boy will be crashing there, Jungkook and Jimin has decided to not be amongst them. The pair having a lot to talk about and move forward from. So they’re going to Jungkook’s place.
They’re walking on the road, something that should be dangerous but isn’t due to the fact that this side of the city is free of all kinds of traffic at this hour of the night. That’s why they don’t notice when a car comes speeding towards them. Jimin noticing belatedly that Tae is in the middle of the road, far from the other boys and directly in line of the car’s path of impact.
He doesn’t know when he moves and how he moves. But one moment he’s holding Jeongguk’s hand and humming “Young forever” by his favourite band, and the next moment he is pushing Tae away before the car hits him, sending them both hurling to the other side of the road.
He hisses in pain, having fallen directly on one side. His wrist hurts as if dislocated and his ribs burn from the sudden fall. But he ignores it in favour of looking at Tae to make sure the other boy is okay, only to be met with surprised brown eyes of the tall boy and a rattled smile. He breathes a sigh of relief to find him not hurt.
He watches in slow motion as their friends run to them, his hyungs instantly surrounding him and helping him sit up. Fussing all over him and he would’ve laughed if it wasn’t for the way Jeongguk instantly gravitates towards Tae, disregarding his own boyfriend.
He watches with batted breathe as the older boy crouches besides Tae, helping him sit up and holding his face, looking for injuries, “shit, Tae are you okay? Tell me where it hurts?” He’s completely absorbed in the other boy and Jimin can practically see the love he carries for him. Choking on a sob as his hyungs help him up, dusting off his clothes. He cradles his arm against his chest as he watches his boyfriend be so generous in bestowing his attention completely on someone other than him. But let’s be real, Jimin never really stood a chance. Did he?
He can sense his hyungs becoming aware of his chain of thoughts the moment he looks up at them, giving them a weak smile and telling them he’s alright. They flock around him, surrounding him in an understanding he doesn’t understand how they can achieve between so many people at once. It’s like telepathy. He lets himself be enveloped in their arms, finally letting the sobs he was hold down so desperately go. They bubble out of his chest and crash upon him in waves of released agony.
It seems that his boyfriend finally remembers that he has a boyfriend too in the same moment because he’s moving, eyes wide and panicked as he reaches Jimin. “Fuck, baby. Why’s he crying? Where are you hurt, princess?” He’s asking his hyungs, try to pry them off him to get to him but just sobs, clinging on to Namjoon’s shirt and trying to hide from Jeongguk. “Let me see him, hyung. What the fuck!?” Jeongguk is steadily growing desperate, his frustration with his hyungs growing as they continue to surround the youngest.
“We’ll take care of him, Kook. You should take Tae home. Our baby clearly needs space. Jimin will call you when he’s ready to talk, okay?” It’s Jin that speaks, patting Jeongguk slowly.
“What do you mean he needs space? He’s my boyfriend, I will take care of him,” Jungkook is getting mad and Jimin presses further into Namjoon’s chest, feeling his arms tighten around him impossibly, as if to keep him together.
“Well you didn’t seem all that worried about your boyfriend at all until now. Just give him space, Kook. He’ll talk to you, yeah?” Jin softens his tone as he practically sees the man in front of him break in the eyes.
“He’s hurt, Hyung…. Please,”
“We’ll take care of him,”
“Jimin-ah,” Jeongguk sounds broken as he speaks, as if he could force himself to love Jimin. It’s all Jimin’s fault.
“I’m okay, Jeongguk h-hyung. P-please let it go. I’m so tired,” and he feels it, the deep ache of fatigue singing in his bones. The throbbing of his wrist becoming intolerable.
“Baby, please…”
“I just want to leave. Can we leave, hyungs?” And he doesn’t look back, doesn’t cry, not when his hyungs guide him towards the campus hospital. Not when his wrist is bandaged after being told it was a a small sprain. Not when he’s cuddled in bed by Hobi and Jin. Not when he wakes up to Jeongguk’s missed calls and texts from last night. Not when he texts back to give him time.
Somewhere along the lines, maybe his heart actually gave up on Jeon Jeongguk..
*