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PikaPikaBitch 10:42am
Did anyone else just see @BoneJuice & @KingExplosionMurder just absolutely duking it out in front of the dorms? Because like, it was ruthless, they were biting each other and everything.
SpicyWater 10:50am
Indeed, I did, I think Izuku called Bakugo a ‘little sniveling bitch boy’ and proceeded to punt him into a tree it was quite humorous.
BoneJuice 10:56am
He took my fucking apple juice! I wasn’t not gonna kick his ass over it. Also, Shochan, can you write on the Deku vs Kachan board I got a tally?
WhyIsMyClassLikeThis? 10:56am
I’m… not gonna touch this with a 10-foot pole honestly. As long as no one’s dead, we’re good. I’m taking a nap, don’t call me, even if someone’s dead.
PikaPikaBitch 11:01am
Probably a good idea sensei! Kami you’re lucky we don’t post 90% of the dumb shit we do on here.
BleaseLetMeSleep 11:05am
Let the caterpillar sleep, he’s gonna have a heart attack when he sees the front yard. It’s the least we can do. I’m looking at you Midoriya and Bakugo
RT: 405K Likes: 628K
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HolyServant 9:30pm
Oh, to be a lesbian living in a cottage in the forest with my beautiful girlfriend, a woman can dream
GoddessIncarnate 9:41pm
Darling, I’ve told you many times we can always live in a cottage farther in our careers
HolyServant 9:42pm
But I want it now (
GoddessIncarnate 9:42pm
How about we go on a vacation over break darling? Would that suffice for now?
HolyServant 9:43pm
Yes, thank you love!
PuppyDogEyes 9:50pm
Hey @KingExplosionMurder why can’t we be all cute and mushy like them?
KingExplosionMurder 9:56pm
Because that’s mad gay shitty hair
PuppyDogEyes 9:57pm
You weren’t saying that when I was sucking you off last night but go off I guess
YeetYouIntoTheSun 9:58pm
I have seen things far worse than any eldritch abomination; I wish I could float myself into the sun. Kirishima, my sunshine puppy, WHY?
WhyIsMyClassLikeThis? 10:00pm
That’s it, everyone off their phones and go to bed. I now have to give the entire class a sex ed rundown because I am know burdened with the knowledge that you lot are running around having sex. I swear go Kami I’m gonna have gone mad before this year is over.
RT: 207K Likes: 129K
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TentacleWhom? 4:25pm
Walking in on your boyfriend doing a demonic summoning ritual, just your usual Tuesday things.
HottopicEmo 4:27pm
I was merely strengthening protection spells my love, nothing to concern yourself over. When I’m trying to summon a demon I invite Midoriya over.
TentacleWhom? 4:27pm
Babe, you made it so much worse. Why in the ever-living fuck would you let Midoriya summon a demon? Please tell me he hasn’t been successful
HottopicEmo 4:30pm
Father darkness resides deeply within him a connects him to the underworld, he is a wonderful companion and comrade to have in mystical escapades. He’s quite friendly with our regular demons and other creatures of the night.
WalkingAcidTrip 4:31pm
That’s deeply unsettling and terrifying to think about, thanks Tokoyami, it’ll haunt my dreams!
BoneJuice 4:35pm
Demons are actually really friendly once you get to know them, and they don’t wanna murder you!! One of our regulars, I can’t say his name, or your eyes will start bleeding, but anyways, he’s a sweetheart!! He’s like a big cat, I rub behind his ear, and he’ll start purring and for a demon older than time and who’s killed thousands he’s a big ‘ol baby!
SpicyWater 4:36pm
Baby, light of my life, my cherry blossom. Never say anything as terrifying as that again. What the actual fuck.
Sanic 4:38pm
I’m.. unsure if I should scold you or praise you for taming a demon Izuku, but honestly I’m not surprised.
WhatThatTongueDo? 4:38pm
Are we really surprised that Midoriya ‘its your power’ Izuku befriended a demon?
BoneJuice 4:39pm
C’mon guys that was one time! Just let it go!
SpicyWater 4:40pm
No
WhatThatTongueDo? 4:40pm
No
Sanic 4:40pm
No
HottopicEmo 4:40pm
No
WhyIsMyClassLikeThis? 6:32pm
*Quietly, but with feeling* What the fuck
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BoneJuice 2:21am
If I shaved off All Might’s eyebrows do you think he’d lose all of his power?
NowYouSeeMe 2:25am
Mido, you’re gonna have to explain more than that buddy.
BoneJuice 2:25am
His eyebrows are so fucking bushy, its like they hold national secrets. If I shaved them bitches off would he lose all of his powers? He’d be defenseless.
PersonalTapeDispenser 2:28am
I thought you liked All Might Mido?
BoneJuice 2:28am
I respect him as a retired hero and teacher but ohoho I hate the bitch otherwise, I’d absolutely duke it out with him, no hesitation
NowYouSeeMe 2:30am
Damn, what did he do to get on literal sunshine’s bad side?
BoneJuice 2:31am
He told me I couldn’t be a hero and left me alone on a roof, like a little no brained bitch. Once again, I would without hesitation tear the man apart with my bare hands.
50PoundsOfGlitter 2:40am
Next hero training I’m dumping glitter all over him, especially in his eyes. Glitter is hell in the eyes.
NowYouSeeMe 2:40am
I’ll sneak the glitter into all of his personal items Yuuga
PersonalTapeDispenser 2:41am
I’m straight up taping his desk to the ceiling, fuck that dude. You’re an amazing hero Midoriya
BoneJuice 2:42am
I would singlehandedly take down the league for all of you, thank you. I’m going to bed now I haven’t slept in 4 days.
WhyIsMyClassLikeThis? 3:58am
I’m gonna kill the oaf don’t worry Midoriya
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MonkeyManOhMonkeyMan 6:31am
I just watched Midoriya chug a can of straight espresso, scream into the void for like a solid minute and then casually stroll out of the kitchen??
EpicSugarCrash 6:32am
Don’t worry about it buddy he just does that in the mornings!
BleaseLetMeSleep 6:32am
Can confirm, proud of him for only downing one can of espresso though. One time I watched him down 3 and I was scared he was gonna have a heart attack. I asked him about the screaming thing once and he said he’s mourning over his loss of sleep which like… mood
MonkeyManOhMonkeyMan 6:33am
Huh, I always thought the screaming in the morning was Bakugo trying to murder him
EpicSugarCrash 6:41am
Nah, assassination attempts don’t start till 7
RT: 100K Likes: 237K
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SoftestBoi 7:39pm
So I lost my rabbit right? Couldn’t find my boy anywhere. I was freaking out running everywhere trying to find him, even was asking other animals if they’d seen him. Ended up at Midoriya’s dorm because dude can find anything like a blood hound, knock on the door and come inside and he’s there just… chilling with my rabbit??
SpicyWater 7:58pm
*Nodding wisely* even animals love him, he’s far to powerful.
BleaseLetMeSleep 8:00pm
If it makes you feel better, he steals my cat like twice a week. I have no idea how he does it, my cat hates everyone, including me. My dorm is locked, I’ll find him just straight vibing with garbage, cuddling the little shit like its totally normal.
SoftestBoi 8:01pm
Maybe he has an animal quirk?
RT: 102 Likes: 326
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BoneJuice 11:32am
Fuck All Might
PikaPikaBitch 11:33am
Midoriya?
KingExplosionMurder 11:33am
He’s high as a kite, just sit back and watch Pikachu
BoneJuice 11:34am
His hair? Wack. His hero costume? Wack. He smells like rotten potatoes mixed with cologne which obviously doesn’t smell good, mother fucker is so oily I’m sure I could deep fry something on his skin. He has the intelligence of a coconut, he declared all for one dead without seeing his body and refused to believe he was back until a student was kidnapped.
BoneJuice 11:35am
He’s made numerous quirkest remarks, even though he knew the power he held as the number one hero of japan, as well as our symbol of piece. Which by the way is bullshit, we shouldn’t put all that power on someone’s shoulders, its bound to come tumbling down dumbasses
SpicyWater 11:35am
Izuku’s phone has been confiscated for the foreseeable future, blow this bitch up so I can see his cute, embarrassed face when he realizes what chaos he’s created.
MonkeyManOhMonkeyMan 11:35am
I think he murdered our teacher, rest in hell sensei
WalkingAcidTrip 11:35am
Go off Izubabe! I’m losing itttt
PikaPikaBitch 11:36am
Damn go off I guess Midoriya
PersonalTapeDispenser 11:36am
Midoriya woke up this morning and chose violence
PuppyDogEyes 11:36am
*Wiping away tears* So manly
HottopicEmo 11:37am
What a mad banquet of darkness you’ve created my friend. Father darkness shall be pleased
TentacleWhom? 11:37am
Babe, we’ve talked about enabling him
50PoundsOfGlitter 11:37am
Oui, I can agree with Midoriya, fuck All Might, the stinky harlot
YeetYouIntoTheSun 11:37am
Please for the love of KAMI tell me we will forever refer to All Might as a stinky harlot from now on
GoddessIncarnate 11:38am
Sensei harlot or no sensei at all. He’ll learn to adapt, he’s atoning for his sins
HolyServant 11:38am
Momo, I have never been more in love with you. I’m on my god damn knee.
BleaseLetMeSleep 11:38am
I feel like a proud father, look at him go. Destroying a Pro hero’s ego without mercy. That’s my boy.
EpicSugarCrash 11:38am
All Might saw the tweets and I’ve never seen a man go through the 5 stages of grief so fast, I’m losing it oh my Kami
SoftestBoi 11:39am
Tear him to shreds Izuku! He’s an asshole to my birds :((
Sanic 11:39am
I never thought I’d say this, but that is unforgivable Kouji. Izuku make a graph for All Might like you did for Endeavor and show him that you’re something to be feared
NowYouSeeMe 11:39am
I second Iida! Tear him a new asshole! He doesn’t mess with our resident baby like that and get away with it
WhatThatTongueDo? 11:39am
Nedzu-Sensei may have to hire a new heroics teacher, no one survives an angry Izuku.
WhyIsMyClassLikeThis? 11:40am
He’s already looking into it. Why are you guys like this? You broke the god damn internet, problem child I’m looking at you. I don’t care that it’s not even noon yet, I’m going to bed.
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