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it’s no secret that chan is known to be a busy body. he himself is well-aware of that, too.
even from his teen years, chan was all about after school clubs, swim team practices, student council, and so on. his parents used to worry about his health, concerned that their child is spreading himself too thin at such a young age.
but chan was committed—he thrived in the myriad of schedules. yes it was time-consuming, demanding of his body’s best efforts. but he never really regretted much, as each one stemmed from a sense of accomplishment and a passion for doing something he loved.
such habit followed him to university, which ultimately was the reason how chan found his favorite ragtag group of friends.
jeongin, the group’s latest addition, was part of the student block chan was in charge of during the freshmen’s special orientation before the school year began.
being a student facilitator, he loved making sure that these adorably confused younglings were warmly welcomed to the best years of their life. and with chan’s high energy and charming personality, jeongin’s introverted self had no chance even after the 2-day event—despite the freshman saying otherwise.
next, chan took seungmin under his wing when they were paired under the university’s scholarship program.
every freshman scholar was assigned an “older sibling” scholar as an effort to help maintain their academic performance without crumbling under pressure. chan always made sure that seungmin is happy but healthily challenged—not just “fine” or “okay”, since this was the usual freshman response from this initiative. and after all this time, seungmin turned from a “younger sibling” to a genuinely wonderful friend who loves to make age jokes at chan.
chan was closest to changbin and jisung despite being in different years.
he met them through the dance club—and no, they didn’t join to make the dance team. rather, they were accepted to be part of the production team. their best moments of friendship happened in the audio room stationed far back of their university’s auditorium. from planning out demos to making fake announcements with robotic voices echoing throughout the empty theater, it was easy for chan to bring that level of camaraderie outside the tech booth’s walls.
which led to chan meeting dance club’s very own untouchable trio—minho, hyunjin, and felix. the title made chan curious, as what every new member experience. that is until he was operating the dashboard from when the three were practicing a full-run performance for a local dance competition.
from what chan knew when he first joined the dance club, it always abided in having two types of teams: the first being the street team—specializing in a hip-hop style full of powerful steps and daring attitudes. then the jazz team, hypnotizing every viewer with their expressive and fluid movements.
but those three defied those boundaries by incorporating both elements in that one stage, and it was so impressive that no one questioned them in winning the whole thing. ever since then, chan has witnessed other students try to do what his friends can do and no one really could come close. he was proud to be their friend, and a prouder clubmate when he got the chance to work with them again for the club’s year-end recital.
on a friday night, a few weeks away from the prestigious event, chan finds himself in one of the university’s dance practice rooms—which he helped booked after hyunjin fell ill on the last day of reservations. he watches the trio go over some details of their performance, with felix standing in front as the other two gives feedback.
chan can’t help but smile at every move felix executes, how the dancer extends his leg behind him in an arabesque, therefore highlighting the litheness of his body. chan’s not a dance major himself but being in a dance club member, he was able to pick up some technical terms.
jisung calls him pretentious, but chan calls out the jealousy. not his fault that jisung doesn’t have any good ideas on how to impress minho on his own. because the last time jisung did so, chan had to princess carry jisung to the university clinic after he tried copying minho’s signature turning jump, the trio trailing behind them in support amidst their poorly hidden laughs.
it’s those types of memories that makes chan so appreciative of the time he spends with his friends. and this moment in time is no different from that, especially when he sees felix excitedly applauds himself when he gets minho’s nod of approval after executing a rather difficult set of steps.
chan catches felix’s gaze when the other suddenly turns his head, and chan laughs through his nose when he receives a two-handed, energetic wave and an equally ecstatic smile. chan continues to watch felix even as he turns away to start rehearsing with minho and hyunjin, eyes hooked on the way felix brings his arms up to reveal a sliver of skin by his shirt’s hem.
huh, is that a telltale sign of abs chan sees—
“oh, bang chan.”
chan snaps out of his dream-like state due to the sing-song voice whispered in his ear. he turns to the culprit in the form of han jisung, eyebrows wiggling and lips twitching. when chan asks what he wants, he simply asks back, “why are you so thirsty?”
for the second time, chan gets caught off guard as he widens his eyes at his friend’s unexpected question.“i have no idea what you’re talking about.”
jisung narrows his eyes, scoffing at the older. “i’m talking about your heart boner for a certain blond dancer. or your average, hormonal young adult boner. take your pick!”
“i do not have a bon—” chan immediately clears his throat, basic human decency saving him from finishing that comment. “i mean, you should keep quiet. you’re gonna distract them from their rehearsal.”
“attempted deviation isn’t a good look on you, christopher.” changbin replies from chan’s left, and unease takes place in chan’s chest at the use of his full english name. considering that whenever his best friends pull that out, it usually means trouble. “take a sip of water, you nasty and thirsty boy.”
“fucking hell, changbin, could you be any louder?” chan sneers, elbowing his friend’s annoyingly sturdy side.
and maybe that was a mistake on chan’s end as he notices jisung parting his lips. “i’ll take on that challenge! drink water since you’re thirsty over fe—”
the exclamation is predictably cut short, and instead ends with chan tackling jisung to the floor and be caught in a tangle of limbs. and when chan starts to change his target to a cackling changbin, he ceases all movement when he hears a familiar laugh—starting low and deep before transforming into a high, twinkling melody.
the fight leaves chan’s body the moment he sees felix watching them with his honest-to-god golden sunshine smile, and chan automatically returns a grin of his own.
and while hyunjin records the kerfuffle on his phone and minho attempts to drag changbin and jisung across the floor by a leg each, chan thinks that maybe his two best friends are onto something.
not the thirst part because chan’s not that much of a neanderthal despite being a man. but maybe he is craving for something more with felix.
possibly in time, whether or not chan has the luxury of it or not.
after that self-revelation, as predicted, nothing much changes from chan’s day-to-day life. and that's not really a good thing, chan thinks dejectedly.
if he wants to try and pursue felix, then he has to put more time and effort into it. he knows he can’t suddenly upend his workaholic tendencies, especially with how long he has had it in his life. but damn it, he has to start somewhere.
his best idea on how to approach this is to just finish all his workload faster—school work, club responsibilities, volunteer tasks, the whole shebang. and it did work for a few days or so, since he was able to accompany felix in all of the trio’s rehearsals and tech runs, and even gets to spend more time with him and the rest of their friends outside walls of the auditorium or a dance practice room.
aside from spending more time with the younger, it was also a way for him to get more days for the year-end recital preparations. the event is special for chan this year, as this will be the first time he will be heading the production.
he’s not going to lie, it’s a lot of pressure handling a campus-wide event that the entire student body looks forward to every school year. insanity would never leave his side due to the amount of details he needs to take into account, but luckily for him, changbin and jisung are his left and right hand men for the event. he can turnover some of his tasks to them before he gets too overwhelmed.
and alright, chan slightly takes advantage of their eagerness over his heart boner—the very words that still makes him cringe in embarrassment—for felix. but chan is aware that they won’t mind, if their combined hollering and teasing remarks have anything to say about it.
but of course, that’s only one of his responsibilities taken care of. he has more than he can count with his own hands. and when he realizes that, chan’s body chose that moment to let him know that overworking on a high school level is vastly different from a university level. because after of two weeks, he is bedridden due to being overfatigue.
the only reason why he let himself even stay in bed for more than two days was because felix offers to take time out of his day to help chan recover. if he didn’t feel so weak, icky, and drugged up with medicine, chan would have straight up confessed and proclaim that felix is the perfect chan’s boyfriend material. at the same time, he is thankful for his rational side—which comes in the form of seungmin and jeongin—for stopping him from doing so.
when chan got better, he goes back to his regular pace. he is still handling a ton of workload, but he is able to space it out better, thus not sacrificing any available time that he has to hang out with felix. for every day felix spent with chan while he was sick, chan made sure to repay the favor and more by doing beyond what he does for the rest of his friends.
it’s the in-between moments of chan bringing felix to his next class no matter how near or far his own class is.
“chan, it’s fine. i can make it on my own! you don’t need to escort me.”
“nonsense, ‘lix! think of it as… more quality time together via scenic walks through the hallways.”
it’s the extra detour chan takes to pick up a hot, comforting drink to help out with felix’s soreness when minho has them practicing for consecutive days and nights.
“is this tea?”
“yeah, chamomille! i learned from a book during the science club’s wellness session that it does wonders for muscle pain.”
it’s the additional minutes chan dedicates to felix when the latter gets more anxious and stressed as the year-end recital draws nearer.
“chan, it’s so late. you should go and sleep—”
“i’m not leaving you like this, ‘lix. you can always find me, yeah?”
if he wants something more with felix, then chan would never let time and busy schedules come in between them. felix is far too important to chan; he wants the younger to know that even if his feelings are not reciprocated.
but with each passing second, he still hopefully wishes it is.
year-end recital day finally arrives, and chan finds himself meeting his target cardio just hours before the dance club opens the auditorium doors to their viewers.
no performer nor production crew member is found idle inside the theater, chan and his friends included. chan, changbin, and jisung take their place in the tech booth before turning to their younger team members to share reminders about their tasks, along with the general but essential do’s and don’ts of the event. once done, chan instructs everyone to equip their individual earpiece and mic packs. he makes sure to do a comms test to avoid any technical difficulties before letting them go to their posts.
as chan stations himself behind the dashboard, his earpiece comes to life with a few seconds of feedback before a voice comes through.
“pres to prod head, pres to prod head. do you copy?”
“prod head, copy.” chan whispers before switching to a more casual tone. “what’s up, chungha?”
the burdened groan chan receives as a response makes him quietly laugh, his patience undeterred with their dance club president.
“ugh, i forgot how calm you can still be even when a problem comes up at every second.”
“if it helps, we’re almost done here at the tech booth. i just need jisung to cue up the first few songs of the night.”
“that actually does kinda help.” chan detects the hint of chungha’s momentary glee blending with a bit of static from their comms. “but could you come over backstage? an emcee’s microphone has a loose switch so we’re not sure if it can be turned on before he comes out in a few minutes.”
“you got it, pres. i’ll just send in changbin now to deal with it—”
“no!” chan flinches at the abrupt change in volume of his president’s voice. “it’s not that i don’t trust changbin, but please it has to be you.”
“uh, alright?” chan doesn’t further question the odd request, and maybe it’s for the best. he doesn’t want chungha to stress out even more. “i’m on my way. prod head, out.”
after updating changbin and getting the spare microphone jisung procures from one of the equipment cabinets, chan leaves the auditorium en route to one of the backstage doors. he slips in quickly as to avoid bumping into anyone before walking towards stage left, where the emcee and chungha should be waiting for him.
but as he arrives, he sees neither person. chan whips his head to and fro, trying to catch sight of the dance club president. instead, he finds a shadowy figure pacing across him, all the way at stage right. the lack of light doesn’t stop him from figuring out who the skittish individual is; he knows that lithe silhouette anywhere.
chan leaves the spare microphone on the stagehand’s podium before turning on his heels. he makes his way around to stage right while hastily sending an update to chungha via their comms before reaching his destination.
“felix?” chan calls out, loud enough for the person to hear but not too loud to catch too much attention from the people around them.
the figure does stop in their tracks, and that’s a sufficient indicator for chan to close the remaining distance between them. chan is greeted with the top of felix’s head, silvery tresses he’s well acquainted with despite being in a slicked back hairstyle. it adds a little more shine to felix’s ever-present glow that chan absolutely falls for every time.
“felix, hey.” chan repeats, hands sliding up from the younger’s elbows to his shoulders. “how are you feeling—oh.”
chan eloquently trails off, blown away by felix’s extra stunning beauty for tonight’s recital. glittery, coral eyeshadow dusted prettily over his eyelids, accented with small gems perched on the outer corner of each eye. to complete the look, felix’s lips are made plump with what seems to be a peachy gloss coat.
he looks angelic—light, ethereal.
it's a striking contrast to his devilish performance attire.
felix is donned in a loose, silk collared top with studded details, upper half unbuttoned to have his white undershirt peaking out. his leather jeans clung tight to every inch of his legs, with the ends tucked into his black boots.
“hi, chan.”
chan brings his gaze back up in a panic. and just as he was about to respond, felix intercepts him.
“thanks for coming back here.”
suddenly, it clicks to chan. chungha’s order was never about faulty devices. if it was, then she didn’t need to emphasize that chan had to be the one to fix it. and with the way felix thanked him for meeting him backstage, it sinks in to chan that maybe felix… specifically asked for him?
realizing he has yet to say a word, chan licks his lips and hopes that his nerves doesn’t spill into his voice. “of course, ‘lix. i did say that you could always find me.”
felix shows a grin, a little shaky but still lovely in chan’s eyes.
“well, it was more like you had to find me. backstage. in the dark. among all the dance club members here. where everyone is dressed in the same dark colors.”
they share a laugh at that, and relief is fluttering in chan’s chest. it’s good to know that felix can still make a joke despite his jitters. it takes a few more seconds for their laughter to settle down to demure smiles, and chan relishes in it all before talking.
“this is the first time you asked for me before a performance,” chan starts, hands falling off felix’s shoulders to find purchase in his own pockets. “what makes this one so special?”
“you make me feel calm.” felix bites his bottom lip before sighing through his nose. “the past few weeks made me realize that. no matter how hectic things are for you, for me, or with everything around us… just spending a day, an hour, hell even a minute with you instantly gives me peace of mind. it’s like time doesn’t exist when i’m with you. it’s one of my favorite things about you. one of the things i… like about you.”
throughout the unexpected confession, chan couldn’t breathe for all the right reasons.
time stood still, and it was only him, felix, and a sweet infinity.
then when felix ended, chan can’t find it in himself to be too disappointed when time resumes. for chan now knows that he can create more of those fleeting but thrilling infinities with felix sooner than later because feelings are utterly, beautifully reciprocated.
but as time begins again, so does felix’s pre-performance nerves and chan’s never-ending responsibilities.
“prod left hand to prod head, prod left hand to prod head. do you copy?”
chan offers felix a remorseful grin before answering in despondence. “prod head, copy.”
“lights out countdown starts now,” at changbin’s words, the auditorium lights dimmer by half intensity which sparks excited chitchat from the audience. “finish making out with felix and come back already or else the production team won’t make it out alive tonight.”
changbin then forgoes protocol and runs off his comms after saying the last word. chan won’t even scold him for it, since he alerted chan about having exactly one minute to bring his ass back to the tech booth to help him and jisung with final set ups.
but how can he make a hasty exit when felix stands before him, taking deep breaths as he nervously brings his fingers to check his pulse by the side of his neck. chan can’t help but fondly smile at the familiar notion, knowing that this is the dancer’s ritual before every performance.
chan waits for felix to finish before reaching out to grab his hand. then, with no hesitation, lifts it higher to press a soft kiss on the smooth skin.
“we'll talk more later. and it's a good talk, i promise.” then without his consent, chan’s courage decides on chaos as he pulls felix closer to rest his forehead against the other. even with the backstage chatter, chan still finds himself to whisper, “break a leg, 'lix. but i know you and your amazing self won’t really need the extra luck.”
chan knows he could’ve worded out that compliment better, flowery sentiments that truly express how he thinks about felix: how his mere presence on stage is more captivating than anyone else’s, how each kick, step, and jump he executes leaves chan in awe, how he offers everything in each performance and chan is always ready accept and cherish all of it, too.
but with the way the younger smiles at him, warmth and gratitude emanating brightly just for him, chan gets rid of any regret in an instant.
with one final peck against felix’s cheek as reassurance—right on his favorite constellation of freckles that are currently covered by stage make up—chan releases felix before taking his leave. his rapidly beating heart couldn’t even block out the cute, surprised gasp that escapes felix’s lips.
it’s another felix-dedicated second that chan plans to keep to himself, close and embraced by the feelings brewing in his chest. the abundance of those little saccharine moments with the freckled dance are now going to be accompanied with those delightful infinities such as the one they just experienced.
it’s only a matter of time—specifically, two hours-worth of performances—before chan lets his feelings be known to the other. he wants felix to be his, and for him to be felix’s.
but right now, chan picks up his pace. he has a show to help start, after all.
the year-end recital goes without a hitch on stage, and is declared as an electrifying success.
every performance was well-received by the audience, and chan is quite proud of the work he did with changbin and jisung. days of getting the cues down and matching the correct tracks to their respective stages—all of the stress was worth it. the thunderous applause and the constant cheering is a feeling of zealous achievement chan loves to experience.
however, that won’t distract him from finishing what he started with felix prior to the show. darting to one of the corners of the tech booth, chan carefully picks up his special surprise he kept hidden ever since he first hour of tonight's event preparations. he does a quick inspection, double checking that nothing is out of place before making his way out with changbin and jisung.
the three of them navigate through the audience to get on stage and find the rest of their friends. they find them without much difficulty, thanks to hyunjin’s shrill yell above all the noise as he gathers jeongin in his blushing glory in a tight embrace.
chan notices seungmin next, bouncing on his feet as he eagerly talks to minho and felix. when chan, changbin, and jisung joins the group, seungmin breaks away and instantly goes to hug changbin, probably still riding on his excited high of the event.
then, jisung and minho gravitates to each other as per usual. chan does raise an eyebrow when he witnesses jisung cupping minho’s cheeks in his hands and showers him with a flurry of kisses.
but before chan can so much as make a quip about them, someone barrels into his chest and pulls him in a sweaty yet affectionate hug.
he maneuvers one of his arms around an all too familiar waist, not minding the slight dampness against his skin before returning the hug. chan does make sure to lower his other arm to his own side, keeping his surprise out of the other’s sight for the time being.
“how was it? did you like our performance?”
a shiver travels down chan’s spine due to felix’s husky tone by his ear. it holds a mix of emotions—and chan can instantly hear felix’s exhaustion, relief, and euphoria in that one moment.
“it was perfect.” chan hums, taking a step back to face felix in full but keeping his arm around him, snug and secure. “you were perfect—you are perfect, as always.”
the comment makes felix laugh, short but still melodic as ever. and god, chan is so smitten by it all that he wants to drown in it forever. but he can’t forget a couple of things he still needs to do right now.
“before we talk, i actually have a surprise for you.” with a grin overflowing with fondness, chan brings his other arm up to reveal his post-recital gift to felix. between them is a dainty arrangement of roses and irises, perfectly wrapped up with pink paper and ivory ribbons.
chan allows felix to take the bouquet with both hands, giving the younger a few moments to admire his present. when he figures out that he successfully renders felix speechless—judging from his shifting gaze from the flowers to chan, and the comedic sight of his gaping mouth—chan speaks up again.
“i heard that it’s tradition to give a dancer flowers at the end of a performance, to show how proud you are and how much you love them—ah! i mean, how much you love their dancing. and okay, i know it's supposed to be given during curtain call based from my research over the weekend. but i couldn’t make it since while i was manning a booth, one of our junior members accidentally broke his comms earpiece so i had to help put it back together as fast as i could. still, i hope me giving the flowers only now is okay—"
it all happens so fast, and yet chan didn’t miss any second of it—the hand on his nape, the slight pull that makes his head tilt lower, and a burst of desire and endearment on his lips.
wolf whistles and jisung’s repeated fucking finally’s surround them, but chan wouldn’t even spare a single moment to pay closer attention. he rather savor every blissful second he has of felix kissing him, gliding his lips against his as if it’s they’ve been doing this all their lives—like it’s the most natural thing in the world.
“sorry, i know a proper kiss usually happens after the first date.” felix mutters after pulling away, sounding anything but apologetic. “but i just couldn’t help myself. no one really ever gave me flowers after a performance!”
“well, you don’t need to worry about anything. i would gladly give you flowers every time.”
chan’s promise is rewarded with another kiss, sweet and lingering that leaves chan breathless despite not being the performer out of the two of them.
“if that’s the case, then let me address my first concern! would you like to have dinner with me this saturday? we can talk more by then.” felix clutches the bouquet of reds and purples close to his chest, and chan’s heart goes along with it. “i mean, only if you’re free.”
chan then mentally reviews his extracurriculars schedule he initially has for that day: he needs to follow up with the writing club’s logistics team if they already found a room for their sci-fi storytelling workshop, review the film club’s revised invitation poster for their club’s anniversary film viewing, draft a sponsorship request letter for the media & arts club since they want a cafe to serve baked goods for their career talk, practice playing seori’s “lovers in the night” on his guitar since he’ll be the intermission number for the organization of clubs’ culminating event happening in a month’s time—
“yeah, it’d be my honor to go out with you.” chan smiles, tightening both his arms around felix’s waist, giddy and affectionate for what the future has in store for them. “i’ll pick you up from your dorm at 7.”