Chapter Text
It was unseasonably cold for May, and River felt himself shivering harshly as he stepped off the bus. The street that met him was unexpectedly beautiful, lines of trees arranged in an evenly-spaced collage down the block, scattered leaves from last fall dotting the pavement with color. Behind them were classic single-family houses with classic white fences and well-tended yards and plastic playground equipment.
River double-checked the address that he’d scrawled on a crumpled receipt, and then made his way down the block. He counted the houses until he’d reached a dead end, and blinked up at the shallow hill that stretched up in front of him. A set of stone stairs led to a beautiful two-story house made of dark wood. It wasn’t as tidy and well-kept as the other houses on the block—instead, tall trees cast shadows across the lawn and a single swing made of aged wood hung from one of those branches.
Nobody answered the door when River knocked. He was about to try and find a back door when up the driveway, around the side of the house, there was a clank of metal on metal and a voice muttered a curse. River followed the sound, ducking under a set of wind chimes and climbing off the porch.
At the end of the driveway was a garage, where a big silver Chevy was parked. A pair of jean-clad legs stuck out from underneath the vehicle, and a handful of tools was lying on the pavement beside them.
River cleared his throat. “Um,” he said. “Excuse me, are you Joel Harris?”
There was a sound of wheels rolling against stone, and then a man emerged from underneath the car. He set aside a wrench on the ground and pushed himself up, reaching over to grab a cloth from the roof of the car and then using it to wipe down his hands. He was in his mid-thirties, tall and bearded and broad-shouldered, his button-down shirt untucked over a white t-shirt, his jeans bearing grease stains, his work boots worn with use.
“That’s me,” the man said, his voice disarmingly deep. He tossed aside the cloth, and it landed with a thump back on the roof of the car. “Sorry—I didn’t hear you come up. You must be River.”
River nodded. He stepped forward to shake Joel’s hand. His palm was rough and calloused. “It’s okay,” River said. “It’s my fault. I’m early.”
Joel smiled briefly at that. “I was hoping the kids would be home when you got here, so you could meet them,” he said. “But they won’t be back for another twenty minutes. I suppose we can talk about the position until they get here.”
Joel led him inside the house and River took a seat in the dining room. Inside it was warm and the house, while spacious, had a cluttered feeling to it, probably a result of raising a family. Toys and books and coats and shoes were scattered in the wrong places, textbooks and workbooks stacked on one side of the dining room table, framed photos hanging a little crooked on the walls and above the fireplace.
It wasn’t unclean, just a little messy, comfortably lived-in. River liked the feeling.
“I hope green tea is all right,” Joel said. He set a mug in front of River on the table. “I haven’t had a chance to go shopping lately. It was either this or a mango-flavored tea that nobody seems to like.”
“Green is perfect.” River curled his hands around the mug to warm them. His skin hadn’t quite recovered from the winter yet, no matter how much lotion he slathered on them, and he could feel the tiny cracks in the skin as they responded to the heat. “What were you working on, back in the garage? Did your car break down?”
Joel shook his head. “Just making some adjustments,” he said. “I run a home construction and repair service, but I work on cars in my spare time.”
“Harris Homes?” River said, smiling. “I saw your offices on the way here.”
“That’s the one.” Joel leaned back in his seat, crossing his legs. “So, tell me why you’re interested in this job. You graduated college just a few weeks ago, didn’t you?”
“A week and a half ago, if you want to get specific,” River said with a weak laugh. “I guess I’m here because I don’t know where I’m going yet. I studied biochemistry, but I kind of realized, halfway through, that I don’t actually like it very much. So I want to take some time, figure things out.” He smiled. “And I like kids, so I think I’d be good at being...uh, at this.”
The term was probably nanny, but that word felt weird to say. Joel chuckled at him, like he heard the omission.
“Have you worked with kids before?” Joel asked.
“I used to work in my church’s nursery,” River said. “And I grew up in and out of foster care, so I was usually around kids younger than me. I’m good with kids.” He paused, and then added, “I understand how it feels to not be fully understood, and how frustrating it can be. I like helping kids figure out how to communicate needs themselves. Makes life easier for the kids and the parents both.”
Joel’s expression hadn’t changed, but he gave a brief nod and took a sip of his tea. His eyes were nearly black, and the resulting intensity of his stare was almost unnerving. “Any siblings of your own?” he asked.
River shook his head. “There are people from foster care I think of like siblings, but none by blood.”
“All right.” Joel cleared his throat and sat forward, leaning his elbow on the table. “I’ll level with you—I'm pretty desperate for some help around here. Ever since my wife and I divorced, I’ve been up to my ears trying to juggle everything.”
“Oh,” River said. He blinked. “When, uh, when did you...?”
“A few months ago.” Joel gave a brief shake of his head. “It was for the best. But she travels a lot for work and splits her time, so I take care of the kids for the majority of the time. They’re too young to be home alone, so I’ve been cutting back on my hours at the shop, which isn't good for our client base.” Joel reached up to drag a hand through the tangles of his dark hair, but only succeeded in making it even messier. “I’m trying to say that if you think you can handle it, the job is yours. Assuming the kids are okay with it, anyway.”
River’s eyebrows shot up, and his heart leapt. This was the third job he’d interviewed for this week and the fifteenth that month, and so far none of them had panned out. He was getting tired of waiting for a call back, like he was a teenager with a crush. Plus, he didn’t want to be a dead weight when it came to rent. “Really?”
Joel nodded. “I’ll do a background check and everything, but you’re better than anyone else I’ve spoken to. You seem capable. If you can keep the kids alive and keep their childhood trauma to a minimum, I’m happy.” He sipped from his tea again. “You looking for a full-time thing?”
“I...I hadn’t really thought about it,” River said, still a little taken-aback by how abruptly this interview had turned into a real job. “I guess so.”
“Perfect.” Joel nodded briskly at him. “I don’t open the shop until ten most days, so having someone come over in the mornings to get the kids ready for school would be a godsend.”
River smiled. “Good thing I’m a morning person, then.”
Joel’s gaze was still fixed on him, even, unwavering and unsettling. “I know sixteen an hour isn’t much,” he said. “But like I said, money is tight. I hope that’s all right with you.”
“No, no, it’s fine,” River said, waving his hands in the air and nearly upending his cup of tea. “Seriously. I was making seven bucks an hour at my last job, so I’m in no position to complain.”
Joel nodded, and seemed like he was planning to ask something else, but instead the door swung open with a loud whoosh in the other room. “That’s my hook, Lucas!” a girl’s voice was saying, shrill and annoyed. “Get your coat off of my hook.”
“It’s my turn to use that hook, you had it all last week, and we said—”
“Lucas!” Joel called, speaking over both voices. “Anaya! Get in here, I want you to meet someone.”
Two pairs of socked feet shuffled against the wood floors, and two small figures appeared around the corner. The boy—Lucas, River assumed—was a little older, with messy dark hair and even darker eyes like his father. The girl, Anaya, was tiny and blonde and wearing more flowers in her clothes than were even in bloom yet outside. Her dress was filled with daisies, her shoes covered in sunflowers, and her jacket was dotted with roses.
“This is River,” Joel said. “River, this is Lucas and Anaya.”
“Hi,” the kids chorused.
River smiled. They were clearly disinterested, but polite, shuffling restlessly from foot to foot like they were eager to escape this interaction and go find something more exciting. “Is that a Master of the Labyrinth backpack?” River said, recognizing the logo.
Lucas’s face immediately lit up. He raised his backpack and nodded vigorously. “Yeah,” he said. “It’s my favorite video game. Do you play it?”
“I’ve played it since before you were born,” River said. “I was playing the very first one the day it came out.”
“Lucas never lets me play,” Anaya cut in, before her brother could speak. “He won’t give me a turn ever.”
“Ana, you were playing all day Saturday,” Joel said.
“And you’re not good at it,” Lucas complained, frowning at his sister. “You took six hours to finish the first Labyrinth, you kept getting lost.”
“I can teach you some tricks if you want,” River said. “It used to take me even longer than that to finish a Labyrinth. There’s a trick to it that makes it easier.”
Lucas’s expression brightened again. “Dad, can he stay and play video games with us?” he said, looking excitedly in Joel’s direction. “I don’t have that much homework.”
“Not tonight,” Joel said. “But he might be around more often, so you can play games together another day.”
Lucas’s expression dropped, and Anaya’s face crumpled next to him, but they shuffled off obediently when Joel told them to get themselves a snack. “They’ve been obsessing over that game for months,” Joel said, rolling his eyes, once they were gone. “Lucas will be thrilled to finally have someone to talk to about it.”
“Does that mean I have the job?” River asked.
“You had the job from the minute you showed up,” Joel said. “You’d be surprised how many terrible applicants have showed up.” He set aside his cup of tea and straightened. “We’ll give it a trial run, in any case. See how you do with the kids. Can you start tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow sounds great,” River said, struggling to contain his excitement. “Thanks, Mr. Harris.”
“Call me Joel.” Joel stood and River followed, and Joel reached out to shake his hand again, grip firm and tight. “See you tomorrow. I’ll grab you a key so you can get into the house.”
River nodded. “What time do you need me in tomorrow?”
“Come at seven. I usually get the kids up then and get them started on teeth brushing, clothes, breakfast, that kind of thing.”
River grinned. “Lucky for you,” he said, “I make a mean scrambled egg.”
*
For the past four years, River had been trapped in a state of perpetual aimlessness.
He knew he was smart, and he knew he’d have a better chance at a decent career if he went to college. He snagged a full-ride, declared a major in something science-and-math related, and did everything he was supposed to be doing. He attended STEM events, worked part-time, applied to internships, got straight A’s, and made the Dean’s list.
He was miserable.
It didn’t take long to realize that working in a lab didn’t make him happy. It was slow, repetitive, exhausting work, and he went home smelling like formaldehyde at the end of the day. But he stuck with it, because that was the smart thing to do, the responsible thing to do. He was good at science, and he would need a decent job to make anything of himself after school was over.
So he stuck with it, and he was even offered a position at a lab after he got his degree. When he turned the position down, his boyfriend, Aaron, was in absolute disbelief.
“You know what I would give for a salary like that?” Aaron had said, when River had reluctantly told him about his decision. “You know what I would give to not work a shitty retail management job? And you got handed this job on a damn platter and that’s not enough for you?”
Logically, River knew he was right, but the thought of taking on a lab position made him want to vomit. “I’ll figure something out,” River said. “I still work part-time. It’ll be enough to cover rent until I can find something more permanent. I’ll ask for more hours.”
He’d sort of applied everywhere after that, just to prove that he could put himself out there. It took a while for him to find anything that seemed remotely interesting or paid anywhere close to a living wage. He headed home after his interview with Joel Harris elated, looking forward to telling Aaron the news and maybe even rubbing it in his face a little.
Aaron wasn’t in the living room when River stepped inside the apartment. Instead, Chelsea was curled up on the couch with her girlfriend, Sadie, and the two of them were watching some cooking show that River never fully understood. “Hey,” Chelsea said. “How did the interview go?”
“It went great.” River kicked the door shut and toed off his sneakers. “I start tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow?” Chelsea leapt up, ignoring Sadie’s dirty look as Chelsea shoved her legs off her lap. “That’s amazing!”
“Thanks.” River let Chelsea pull him into a hug. “Where’s Aaron? I want to tell him the news.”
“He’s in his room. Working on sound mixing or something.”
The three of them—River, Chelsea, and Aaron—had moved into this apartment a couple years earlier. Aaron had graduated a year before Chelsea and River, and he’d moved out of the dorms as soon as possible. They’d all moved in together before River and Aaron even started dating.
Aaron was on his computer at his desk, fiddling with some mixing software. He turned when the door opened and took his headphones off, smoothing down his spiky hair. “Hey,” he said. “Any luck?”
“Yeah.” River sat down cross-legged on Aaron’s bed. “I got the job. I start tomorrow morning.”
Aaron raised his eyebrows in surprise. He swiveled around in his chair so they were facing each other. “Just like that, huh?” he said. “Must have been a quick interview, you were only gone for like half an hour.”
River nodded. “Didn’t take long. He knew he wanted to hire me right away.”
“Wow.” Aaron leaned back, crossing one long leg over the other. “Well, that’s good. I was starting to worry we wouldn’t make rent on time.”
“Rent isn’t due for another week.”
“Exactly. You might have to ask for an advance from your new boss.” Aaron gave him a quick smile. “Anyway, good for you. You’ll be a good nanny. Or—babysitter, caretaker. Whatever.” He pushed himself up. “We should order something to celebrate.”
“Ooh.” River grinned. “Indian food?”
Aaron pursed his lips. “Indian food gives me really bad stomach issues, you know that. How about Italian?”
River shrugged. “Sure,” he said. “Okay.”
Aaron leaned over, bracing his hands against the mattress and bending down until their lips met. “You’re the best,” he said. “Order whatever you want. I’ll break out some wine.” He patted River’s head as he straightened. “Dry Reisling. Your favorite.”
*
River and Aaron had sort of fallen into a relationship, almost like it was an accident.
The both knew it was a bit of a risk, when they started dating. They were roommates, after all, and River had never really been in a relationship before. The first time he and Aaron made out, River didn’t even remember it very well—they’d both been drunk at a New Year’s Eve party and Aaron had been on the rebound.
For a solid month they didn’t talk about it, just skirted around each other and pretended nothing happened. But the memory of the party was like a weight hanging between them. When they finally acknowledged it, it felt like an explosion between them. They argued, and then made out, and then slept together.
River woke up the next morning fully prepared to start looking for a way to move out. Instead, Aaron asked him out, and they went for dinner for the first time. It all kind of spiraled from there.
River wasn’t sure how relationships were supposed to work, so he and Aaron navigated it together. Since they lived together, they started spending nearly all of their time together, at classes and at home and out on Friday nights. Aaron became so ingrained in River’s life so quickly that it was hard to think about life without him.
Aaron even helped him find a new job. River liked to cook, so Aaron suggested a line cook position. River was good at it, and he made enough extra money to cover rent. He came home smelling like vinegar, his feet sore from standing up all day, but he liked it. He could have stayed there even after graduation, but Aaron wanted to move.
Aaron hated the city. River, on the other hand, had grown up there. Moving to a small town where families had backyard barbecues and retired old women held book clubs on Sundays wasn’t appealing. But Aaron had complained about strange city smells and loud cars and dirty streets until River had finally given in.
“There are plenty of opportunities in the suburbs,” Aaron said. “Do you really want to deal with filthy underground trains for the rest of your life? Even after graduation, when you have no reason to live here anymore?”
“It’s too quiet out there,” River muttered. “And it’s full of boring old people and their families.”
Aaron sighed in exasperation. He’d spent the better part of a month trying to convince River to make the move, and was clearly starting to lose his patience. “River, I spent months in this city waiting for you to finish school,” he said. “I’m sick of it. We’ve been together for ages now. It just makes sense to take this step.”
Eventually, River gave in, particularly when Chelsea agreed to move with the two of them. It was comforting having Chelsea stay close, especially given how unfamiliar the suburbs were to him. The transition was about what he expected, full of quiet nights and the smell of grilled food and couples walking their dogs and pushing their babies in strollers.
“It’s still better than dealing with people from the city,” Aaron said, the only time River pointed these things out. “You don’t really have anything to complain about.”